Saturday, December 31, 2011

It is almost New year`s eve

I would die to have this poster


*267*

  Ahh! Almost time to pop the bubbly and contemplate a new year. I do not do resolutions. I am too prone to failure in that arena. I will just try my damnedest to do better in 2012 then I did this year. Lose more weight will be one of those things. But I am not going to beat myself up if I do not make it to the gym every week or month..hehehe. I WILL be saving money because I am going on my trip across the country next year. I start saving in January. I will save $32 a week in my savings account (at different bank..separate from house account) and I will have plenty by September. I am not touching it for anything. I was thinking I might try to save an extra $50 a month for a  little extra. Even after the trip is done, I will continue to save that money.

  I had my endoscopy and it was a piece of cake like everyone said. I was not even drowsy afterward. I remember everything except the part when I was knocked out. The Dr said that everything looked good but he found a couple red spots in my stomach and he took some biopsies of the areas. Probably going to check if I have that H. Pylori too. I will find out next week what his final report is. It baffles me. Everything looks good but I still have stomach pain. If I was to have to predict, I think those red spots are healing ulcers (cause he gave me that medicine). That is why he did not say ulcer right away. Who knows. Just do not tell me there is nothing wrong with me at all. I assume if he finds the bacteria in my gut, he will put me on antibiotics to kill it anyhoo. That would be good so the pain does not come back full force. I will let you know when I find out.

  Yesterday I went and bought some snacks, two bottles of Ballatore bubbly, and I made some Coquito (Puerto Rican egg nog). That shit will knock you on your ass, I tell you! The recipe almost fills a 2 liter soda bottle. It has 8 oz of white rum and 3 oz of brandy. Just enough kick to make you notice but not care..and you drink and you get drunk! LOL I want to get my drunk on but I am not stupid. I just had an endo for stomach pain. Drinking a large amount of booze would be stupid on my part. I will drink a small thimble full of it tonite and I will have some champagne at midnight. I will be a good girl otherwise.
If it wasnt for my gut..oh it would be on!
 Oh! This computer is getting ready to shit the bed now too. So I am praying to the computer gods that you let her work for another 2 weeks. I am going to save up a few hundred and get a cheapo laptop. It wont be the greatest but it will keep us online for now. I might go to the pawn shop too. We shall see.

So I hope everyone has a wonderful and safe New Year`s Eve. I will be spending tomorrow taking down all the Christmas decorations.
Oh Joy!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The end of the year and my gut




*266*

New Year`s Eve is this Saturday. I got invited to go out the one of the casinos to see a 70s/80s revue. I am going to decline the offer. I want to be an old lady, drink my champagne (Ballatore), eat some snacks, and play a board game with the kids. None of them have plans either. I could go but I just do not feel well. I called my gastro Dr today to let him know that the pills really are not working. I feel like garbage and I have a headache to boot. For a millisecond, I could think it is high blood pressure..but I have low blood pressure (the low good kind) and it was JUST checked last week. Fred told me when he was dealing with his stomach pains, he had headaches too.
Anyway, I told him the meds didnt work. He said that he will be looking to see what the problem is in a day and a half and we will fix the problem. I asked if I should continue taking the medicine. Yup. Damn horse pills.
 

  I want to say that I do not do New Years Resolutions. But I do try to improve myself from year to year. So if I screw up on those improvements, I do not beat myself up over it cause I didnt keep my promise to myself. 
So I think my ass will stay home with my children and have some laughs. We love to play board games. Especially the word ones. Like Apples to Apples. We bought a new one for Christmas. It is called Would you rather?  

Boring, huh?

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Christmas 2011





*266*

Merry Christmas to all of you that come to my little blog. I appreciate all of you, even the ones that I do not know about.

  I got up at 3am to two things. The sound of the ceiling fan in the dining room being on (it is directly under our bed) and the smell of dog shit. Okay, three things. Ruby must have shit and come back to bed and wanted under the covers. Her digging and re-arranging woke me up. Lights on, tv still on (on pause), shit on the floor, recyclables all over the place. After I tidied up, I am awake. I can nap later. I have stuff to do but I will wait till at least 6am so I do not wake Fred up.

  I am in a non reflective mood this year. It is just another day to me, just better food. This is the first year in my entire life that there is nothing under the tree for me. I am not sad. It is what it is. Certain things take precedence. Lots of people are out there talking about how wonderful it is, their family, their loved ones, blah blah blah. You should say that shit all the time, not just at the end of the year....while you are drunk on egg nog. I am not from a mushy gushy up bringing. Sometimes I wish I was. When I say I love you, I truly do. Just because I do not smoosh the shit out of you 24/7 with my exclamations of that love doesnt mean different. I am what I am. :)

I finished the majority of the prep work for today. I have to get the veggie platter stuff cut up. I have to take the ham out to warm up at bit to the room before I put in oven. I also have to make rice pilaf and devilled eggs. I am so looking forward to the eggs. LOVE THEM! I make them at Christmas and Easter. Fred and I eat them like they are going out of style and then we blow it up for the rest of the day. Gotta carry matches with you when you are around devilled egg eaters.

Can you see I am just blabbing on about nothing? LOL

I will be having my endoscopy on Thursday. I wanted to put that out here just in case I do not come back before then. I definitely wont be back on the computer until Friday after cause my ass will be sleeping off the knock out drops.

So that is about it...right?
Eat some good food, have a great time with your family and friends, and drive safe please!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas Eve 2011

Secret Santa gift!

*266*

I have finished doing the majority of the prep work for tomorrow. I hate killing myself on eating day..I mean Christmas. Do you like my apron? It was a gift from my friend, Barb, for Secret Santa. I love the pin ups! I also am sporting some nuevo reindeer ears that jingle.
 I am very tired right now so I do not have much to say. My gut has been hurting all day no matter what I eat and I have been nauseous on and off. So my prep day dragged on. The collards are on the stove cooking. They will stay up there till like 7-8pm. Then I will turn them off and keep covered on top of stove. Turn them back on tomorrow morning and they will be perfect.

I am happy because it is Christmas but also because of two things. Doctor Who Christmas show is tomorrow night AND..Abfab is back!!

Chelsea, Natalie and I love AbFab. We love watching the repeats of it on BBC America. It will be new tomorrow night in England but not here. We can watch it on the computer though. Yeah!

Okay, I need to get off my ass and relax my legs. Have a great night all and I will post tomorrow!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

I get to open my secret santa today!!

*266*

My friends and I did a gift exchange this year. It is the first one we ever did. There are 10 of us. We all live in different parts of the US and we have one Canadian. Our names were randomly picked and we had to get a gift for that person. It had to be a secret!
I found out yesterday that it wasnt much of a secret after all. After much deduction, everyone knows who everyone secret santa is. Today is opening day! I have been ignoring my gift under the tree for more then a week. It is killing me. It is taking all I can to not just go in there and open it!!!!
  I can be very cool and calm about Christmas and my Birthday. If I am not getting a gift, it is really no big deal anymore. I have had enough disappointments in that arena that I have become a bit numb to it. But..if there is a pressie for me, and I have NO clue what it is...I become 6 years old! I need to know what it is! NOW!
I will shake it. I will smell it. I will squeeze it. I will move it around to see if anything moves that gives me a clue. Dammit! Nothing!
I know that my gift has candy in it. That I do know. I want to know the rest!

The cruel part? I have to wait until TONITE to open it! Ahhhhhh!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Five days till Christmas

*265*

Five more days until the hell on earth is over. hehehe It wasnt so bad as I thought. I was able to get some nice gifts for the girls and Raymond. Fred and I will celebrate in January. It is all good. We have a ham in the fridge defrosting, two new front tires on the Jeep, and on Friday I will order some heating oil...hopefully. If not, I will order on Saturday for Monday. All is right with the world. Or so it seems. The stomach pill seems to be working in some capacity. I do not have constant stomach pain that I have to pack with food. But the pain is still there, just duller. I still have acid reflux, burping and the whole 9s. I am giving it time.

 I remember when I was young, I used to lay on the floor and stare at the Christmas tree lights and dream. We had the big bulb lights back then that you could replace one by one without the whole string shitting the bed. I was growing up in the 70s so there were some Christmas` that were not that great. And now it has come around again. There will be kids out there in the US who will say the same thing when they are grown. They will remember the 2010s as a shitty time to have Christmas. It will either get better, worse or stay the same. We really do not know. I know that this past year has been one of the hardest that I have had to endure financially in a very long time. It was like this back when Fred and I were starting out. We did without. We didnt know any better. Now you have to decide if you are going to get rid of cable tv or not for the fact that it will save money. I am thinking of getting rid of the house phone and just having our cell phones. But I do not want this to be about what I need to do or have to do. I want this to be a nice Christmas, regardless of what we got or didnt got.

I have decided on a dinner menu. Chelsea has not told me what she wants yet.
I have a nice big ham that I am going to score, dot with cloves, and cover in brown sugar. I am going to make potato salad, collard greens, rice pilaf, deviled eggs, a veggie platter with gorgonzola dip, boneless chicken wings with ranch (Natalie`s request). I had miscounted the presents and Natalie has more then Chelsea. It popped in my head that Chelsea wanted some Yellow Tail. So I will get her some red and white wine. I just have to find some wine bottle gift bags.

I am really glad this holiday shit is almost over.

Happy Hanukkah to my friends that celebrate!

Friday, December 16, 2011

And the Gastro says.....


*265*

  I have been back for over two hours but I had some shit to do before I could get any computer time in.
 I went to see the gastro dr this morning..early at 815am. I told him everything that has been going on and he told me that he really doesn't know. It could be an Ulcer. It could be Irritable bowel syndrome. It could be just Acid Reflux or Gerd. It could also be diabetic gastroparesis. I hope to hell it isn't that! That is not a good thing to get. Lord no! You basically have trouble digesting your food. As it gets worse, you end up on a liquid diet and then feeding tubes. That is not the way I want to get myself thin! So we shall pray to whomever you pray to that I do not have that.  He said it can be a combination of the things he mentioned. He wont know until he does a endoscopy. He also gave me a script for some acid reducing pills. I do not remember the name and sure as shit I have never heard of it. Fred has taken many and it isn't any of those.
 When I went up to the receptionist she made a surprised remark and I was like What? The Dr went on the computer and scheduled my endoscopy for December 29th. He is already booked up but he shoved me in there. She says the hospital MIGHT change the date but I will find out sooner then later.
So yeah. I will get the upper half of a roto rooter four days after Christmas. I got a gift after all!

No diet was established for me because he really does not know what is wrong. I am just in pain all the time in my gut and I have other stomach and gastro issues that suck. So that is about it. But I keep a smile on my face and a joke in my soul. I will be okay whatever the outcome.

Now I need to change into some comfy clothes and relax on the couch.
Happy Friday!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Off to the Gastro...for me

*267*

Today feels like a pin up kind of day. Dont you think so? So I pulled out a large assortment in one fell swoop!
 I called my GP yesterday and left a message about the stomach symptoms that I have been having. I think I might actually have an ulcer. A couple friends told me that it sure sounds like it.
They referred me to the gastro dr (no copay..yippee!) and I waited. They finally called yesterday around 5pm and I have a very early morning appointment on Friday. Like I have to be there at 8:30am. I will do it! You cannot fuck with an ulcer. They can go all kinds of wrong.
 Since I have been losing weight unexpectedly..they are going to probably do a upper endoscopy and look around in my innards. I am so happy that I am losing weight and I love that my stomach is smaller and my clothes fit better. But something isnt quite right. I have not worked for it and I am still eating crap. Granted, I am eating less because my stomach hurts but what about before that? So I want to make sure everything is okay in there. It is most likely a organism causing this and I will have to take a bunch of antibiotics for it. Then it will be gone and I will be fine.
I am taking a positive approach to this.
Just sick of being in pain. The gut pain has slowly gotten worse but nothing alarming..do not worry about that. Just I know it needs to be looked at. This is the second day of a dull pain in the ass headache. I do not know if headaches are associated with ulcers or not but I have a whopper. And I shouldnt take anything cause those pills actually make the ulcer worse!
  If any of you have dealt with ulcers, you can shoot me some advice. I will let you all know what happens after my appointment on Friday.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Chilly Sunday Morning

Peanut butter 
*266*

 
I made bon bons on Thursday because I had to mail some out. Today I am going to make a second batch. I have some other people to give them out too. I am hoping to make the second batch an actual double batch so that I can crank out so many that I will not have to do it again till next year. Making candy is a pain. But I like to do it because people like it so much.
  My friend, Margaret, taught me how to make them one Christmas. She used to live on our street with her hubby, Sonny. They were both ill and on disability (he was getting it from work) and they had to move away to live with their daughter. I was sad that I lost her as a friend. She was the one that told me that I might have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I went to her Dr and I was able to get some help and realize I wasnt crazy. That there was something wrong with me! I have that to thank her for. Oh and teaching me how to make these bon bons. I have changed them up over the years to suit my taste but the core of the candy is from her.
Today is Sunday and it is never a day of rest. I am continuing my saga of purging my house of crap. Fred rented a steam cleaner and I am going to toss things in the trash like I did yesterday. I want to not see the same cluttery things over and over again. I guess this is what my shrink calls my manic phase. I clean.
So I will clean today. 

Saturday, December 10, 2011

No Snow...yet


*266*

  Today is December 10, 2011. Except for that freak snow storm that we had before Halloween, not a flake in sight. It has actually been kind of warmer then normal around old CT lately. There have been days where I have been out and about in just a sweater..no coat at all. It is almost 10am and it is in the lower 40s. We have had 50s and 60s! I am happy because my electricity bill has been low so far (that will change) and I have not had to get any oil yet. I will be buying some soon because we will need it for showers and keep the pipes warm.
  After last year, I am hoping for a non snowy winter. I am not saying no snow at all. Just a few small snow storms here and there. Nothing dramatic. No blizzards or bombogenesis`. Just normal, non roof collapsing snow.
I will be bitching in the near future about snow. I am warning you now. I like it to some degree and it helps keep me in shape by shoveling it. But my husband is gonna be 46 yr old next year. He said Almost 50 last night and I felt my ass cheeks clench. He cant! He has to stay young!
So either I do all the shoveling, he gets some exercise at the gym OR I hire out. I aint got no extra money so I am guessing it is number one on that list.

Any of you want to live in CT for the winter and be my snow shoveler?

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Am I a weirdo?

*264*

 I met Fred on or around February 20, 1986. I fell in love with him very soon after that. Next year will be 26 years. I still love the man as much as I did back in the day. I smile when I see him. I get excited when I find out he has an unexpected day off. I think of things to make him happy. I give him my last $1 when he needs it and do not ask for it back. I drive three miles one way to bring him his dinner in the dead of night..Hot dinner!
  I see so many people that are unhappy in their relationships and it makes me sad. What happened to make you forget why you loved that person in the first place? Sometimes it is glaring obvious and you do not blame the loss of love. Other times it is not so. It is just that time has made things stagnant and boring. Same person every single solitary day.  I am sad when I hear or read that.
 I was fortunate to find my soul mate. Yes, I said it. He is my soul mate and you cant change my mind. Why else after all these years are we still so giddy over each other?
Granted, there was a time when life was hard and we were just not digging each other (young kids, both working, hectic life) but we still loved each other. Always and Forever like the song.
I wish everyone could feel the way we feel and have what we have. What a wonderful world that would be.
Everyone in utter love with their significant other. You both do things for each other with no alterior motives. Just pure bliss and love.

I know..Gag me! Right?

Today is the 31st anniversary of John Lennon`s assassination. I thought I would lighten the day with some love.

How to train your husband

*264* <---that is correct!


We never made it to the gym. We both got our periods this week. That is NOT a cop out either. Who wants to jump up and down on a machine when you are leaking blood? Not I. So we are going to start fresh on Monday. Seriously! We are gonna do it!

  Christmas is fast approaching. I have gotten a couple gifts for the girls, one for Raymond and nothing for Fred. I do not know what to get him. I always usually get him clothes. I do not know if that is what he truly wants. He wont tell me anything. Big Brat!

I remember our first Christmas when we had our very first apartment in downtown New London. I bought a tree and I got him a bunch of gifts. I kept waiting for him to get me some gifts to put under the tree. I had gotten him a leather jacket (for when it was warmer) and a couple new outfits. Christmas came and I opened my two presents. A set of hair trimmers and a set of hair clippers. He bought them so that I could cut his hair!! I was so sad that day. He got me a gift that was really for himself.
Let me give you some insight. Fred`s grandfather at one point became a Jehovah`s Witness. There was no birthdays or Christmas. Fred never learned how to buy gifts. When he was older, there was no money and not much of a Christmas when he lived on Crystal Ave. So NOW I know that it wasnt his fault really..he had to be trained to buy gifts.
 He tried to say that if that person loves you it doesnt matter about the gifts you get. I said BULLSHIT! It is Christmas and I get nothing. You want the person you love to feel sad and crying on Christmas? No!
 You learn what they like by listening and watching over the years. Then you may score that one GREAT Christmas in gift giving. It was four years ago...Fred got me a red Kitchenaide stand mixer. I used to hint forever but I did not nag about it cause the shit costs over $200. That was not the only present I got that year either.
Yes, Heidi accepts appliances as gifts for holidays and birthdays. And I get giddy. If I get a steam cleaner this year, I will be soooo happy!  I am a weirdo I guess.
 I will think of another Christmas story for the next time I come back. It may be happy or not.
We shall see...

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Brother, can you spare a paper towel?

Ruby: 3 months
*266*

I moved the scale and it tells me what I want to hear. LOL Natalie and I are going to the gym on Monday morning after we drop Chelsea off at work. I want to see how it looks all new and shiny and I want to lose more weight. So we are going!

See how big Miss Ruby T is doing? She is a beautiful beast, I tell you. I can take her on a walk of the street and let her run around the yard for an hour and she will come inside and crap by the bottom of the stairs. Why???
She was doing so well and now she does not even give a hint that she needs to go until the shit is plopping out of her ass. I have to be more vigilant in my work to house train her. I go through paper towels like nobodies business. A pack of 8 used to last me more then a week. I am lucky if I can make them stretch out from Friday to Friday.
She is learning not to mouth us or bite us. She is getting yelled at plenty (Ouch! or No bite!). She is steadily losing her baby teeth. Natalie found one on the couch the other day. So tiny.
She is a sweet dog but she is a puppy and puppies make old women tired.

Fred helped me clean up the diningroom a bit. It is more open and oh so less cluttered. I am happy! I re-arranged some stuff to make it more user friendly. I have to finish sweeping and then I have to mop the floor.
Today is peanut butter bon bon day. After I finish here, I am going to clean the kitchen and get started on making the yummy treats.

It has been a busy weekend....

Saturday, December 3, 2011

If you do not like boobs, do not look!

*270* <--gained some but my period is coming.

   I am using this picture as my Facebook photo. Well, just her face. hehehe. I would get booted toot sweet for posting the whole picture. And I wouldnt do that cause I have friends that do not like to see or hear things like that. This is my blog and hopefully, nobody will narc on me. It is on pic and I have not slipped into the dark side!
I wanted to show Bettie Page because she was so pretty. And she risked so much back then to do what she did. It is like she was one of the first liberated women! In the 1940s!

I was able to do some Christmas shopping yesterday. There is an extra paycheck AND thanksgiving pay in this weeks check. So I paid bills, bought a few things and filled the pantry and freezer. I like extra pay check months. I have to large built onto the wall cabinets, floor to ceiling) that is my *pantry*. I do not have the traditional little room for my food like I used to growing up.  But that is okay. It is stocked full of food most of the time but when it starts to get thin, there is usually a 5 paycheck month on the horizon. I have a section just for pastas, rices, and boxed crap, one section for all things canned and jarred, third section for spices, baking supplies, and some cooking appliances, and the last one is for pet food, medications, and all my oils and vinegars and helpful potions for food.(there are alot). So I have some stuff back in there and I feel better. When I see big spaces where food used to be, I have a need to fill it.
 Today is the 3rd of December. It has been unseasonably warm here in Southeastern CT but this morning it is rather cold. I am not ready for snow. I have to buy tires for the Jeep and the thought of snow before we get those tires, scares me. I hope it holds off a little while.
I am going to be making my peanut butter bon bons today. Somewhere in last December`s blog section you can find the recipe. I have a shit ton to make for many people. I have boxes for packing also. I will be up to my ass cheeks in those things. I love to make them because friends like them and I like to give them. I really need to get done because I have a Secret Santa gift to mail out on Monday and part of this persons gift is the bon bons. I am not saying anymore just in case they read here. :)
 So that will be my day as boring as it sounds. Rounding up the pup, cleaning house, making bon bons, and thinking of something good for dinner. Fred has the weekend off. So it is cooking time for me.

Damn, I wish my knockers stood up like that? They never did.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Decorating for the Holiday season

Divas do not smile for the camera
*266*

   Raymond and I cleaned the yard yesterday. Not the top yard but the side yard and I did the front of the house. I still have to do some out there but I will get to that after this. So since I had that pleasantly wonderful unexpected help, I decided I would go downstairs today and bring up all the Christmas decorations. The tree and all. I found the porch flag and the wreath for the door. Everything else was BURIED behind boxes and crap. I was a little bit pissed, to say the least. When we had the almost fire and then the electrician..Fred decided to clean the basement. He basically cleaned the main area and SHOVED everything in the storage area on the side. EVERYTHING. Guess what was behind all of that?
Christmas!
After I screamed that he was dead meat..hehehe..he came downstairs and got all my Christmas crap. Thank you, big hug and kiss. All is right with my world.
 So I am not too bah humbuggy I guess. I am willing to look at Christmas decorations for longer then a month. That must mean something.
Now, hopefully Ruby and Milo will not destroy shit this year. This is both of their first Christmas together. One could climb and knock over the tree, the other could digest it. So I will be on my toes with those two.
   All the animals still have fleas. I have to go to the vet and pick up some treatments on Monday. Lu is still favoring her back leg but she is using it. I do not want her to suffer (she is not complaining) but I do not want to pay a vet bill for her being dainty. She could have a slight sprain but favor it forever cause she does not like to hurt. This is the dog that screamed bloody murder when her feet touched snow.  I have made the decision to make my decision on Wednesday. If she is still favoring it the same as now with no improvement, she will go to the vet.
Okay, time to finish my umpteenth coffee, slap a bra on the girls, and finish my yard work!
Is it January yet?

Friday, November 25, 2011

Preparing for Old Man Winter



*266*<----I just checked. That was after eating pie! Woot!

Today I am covering the windows. I always talk about how I am gonna do it, oh today I am gonna do it, Yeah, must not forget about the windows. But my ass always..ALWAYS waits till it is cold.
This is later then usual. Usually I have them all up before Thanksgiving. It was cold last night and it crept inside. So for me, it is time. I have washed the window sills in the livingroom and I have tape up on one window. I want to go window by window in there. When you put the tape up around the window frame, you have to wait 10-15 minutes for it to adhere. I have heavier lace curtains to hang up out there for the colder months too.
My biggest challenge is our bedroom. Back in the day before we even knew this house was on the map, Upstairs had an in-law apartment. Our bedroom was designated the livingroom/kitchen. And it had a big ole 1970s sliding glass door that walked out onto a deck. The deck is long gone but the big assed door remains. We dont have any money. My choice would be to put a new deck, with stairs (as another way out) and have a good set of French doors that are safe from burglary. Fred wants no deck and he wants the hole framed in and have a couple windows put in. Who knows? It will probably stay like that till one of us is dragged out of here. LOL
Anyway..I have to cover that fucking thing with a patio door window cover. It takes me over an hour to finish it.
But, the plastic makes a huge difference. If you have older windows and have drafts, give the plastic a try. I have been using it for over 14 years and I will do it until I cannot anymore.
Or I hit the Powerball and get a new house. HA!

Nothing to see here..Move along.

*266*

I typed in the word black and this was one of the pictures that popped up on Google. Looks like my dearly departed Baby. Little scruff of white on chest, big moon shaped green eyes.
 Today is black Friday 2011. Many people are out there and shopping till they are in debt to their eyeballs. We got paid on Wednesday and I have $50 now till next Friday. I did not go shopping. That is what I normally have left after groceries and gas. I will not use credit cards to go shopping either. So as you can plainly figure out, I will NOT be shopping today or any day this whole week.
 I am going to start to quickly fall into a Christmas Depression. Here is where I am whiny and you might as well turn away.
I cannot provide the kinds of Christmas like I did in the past.  We have money for life but none for fun. I KNOW that I should not stress over this. I am a smart, logical person. My *children* are both adults now. They should get one present, maybe two under the tree and that is it!
I think I am having it hard this year because nobody is a child so I do not have the excuse anymore. I cannot provide the big flat screen tv to my husband that he would love. We are still using this broken Dell because we do not have any extra money for anything. I hate it. I do not like being frugal all the time. I want nice things but I cannot afford to get anything.
 I am stressing over buying 6 gifts. And I PRAY that nobody brings me a present because I cannot shop for them.
So yeah, I am going to be in a sad mood until December 26 or maybe the 27th. Every Christmas commercial will be another message telling me how much of a loser I am cause I cannot provide a nice Christmas. You can say all you want about it. It isnt about the gifts! It IS about family. It is about love. Yeah, well my darling children want something under the tree. And then I will get asked..What did you get for Christmas this year?
I probably wont get anything cause I told Fred to save his money. And that is not a sad sack statement. It is the truth.
If I could have one wish..I would wish that I did not have to decorate or celebrate Christmas at all. It will not be fun for me one bit.

Is it January yet?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Turkey Day Eve

*266*

 The day before Thanksgiving.
It is pay day and the grocery stores are MOBBED!  I had my first round of allergy testing this morning at 10am. I was done in the office by 1030am. I figured I would go to the local grocery store in that town instead of waiting till I got closer to home. OMFG! First of all, it is 1030am on a Wednesday. The place is packed to the rafters with old and young rich bitches.It is a rich town! What should I had expected? But they have better sale prices then the exact store closer to me. So when I am near there, I shop............
  I actually left after I finished that sentence. How Rude! Huh?
I had to take Chelsea to work and I was coming right back. But she texted me to tell me she got her check. Our credit union is going to be closed on Thursday, Friday and the weekend. She gets out at 5pm and they would be closed by then. So I ran around like a chicken for the next 2 hours getting toilet paper and grinders for lunch/dinner. I have tuna. Mmmm!
 So I bought lasagna fixings, breadsticks in a tube, garlic knots from local pizzeria, some sparkling cider, taco fixings, and pie from the freezer that I throw in the oven. I cannot NOT have something to eat when everyone else in the country (that can afford it) is eating too! Fred is working (holiday pay!! yes!!) so I will drive him over some dinner. I am oh so nice!
Oh..I also bought buy 1 get 1 free boxes of Russel Stover candy. Those need to be hidden I think. I wanted to save for Christmas time because they go on sale like now but the closer you get to Christmas they do not. I think I will have Fred hide them. Yeah! That is the plan.
hehehe

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I hope your turkey is moist and juicy and your dinner table is bursting with food to feed all of your guests. I hope no one shows up in a pissy mood and that all the little ones know to keep their grubby paws off the furniture.
Happy Turkey Day! Gobble Gobble Gobble

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Stop the clutter! I want to get off!!!


*266*


My house is a cluttered mess. There, I said it. I am embarrassed by it. Now to be clear, it is not in any way shape or form defined as a hoarder situation. I just have a couple people in my house that want to save every fucking thing and they just shove them in places. I am sick of looking at it all. Now I will be honest and say that I have clutter too. I have dollhouse/art supply clutter. My reason is because the areas that I made for storing those things, have been infiltrated by other clutter. There are fucking books....every fucking where! Now we do not have a library but it is the beginnings of one. I would love to have one of those organizers come in and help me. I do not have alot of stuff. If I took all my dollhouse/art stuff I think I would have three large totes full. As for the other stuff that is cluttering my home and life. It would fill the basement! I am really tired of looking at it.
What do I do? Do I spend MY money buying totes to put all this crap in to store in the basement?
My diningroom is a complete mess and I am tired of it. I am in a state of constant Flux with the clutter.
I clean off the dining room table today. Tomorrow morning it will be covered in somebody elses shit!
I complain too damn much but there is a point to this. I want to shit out of my house! Books to the used book store! Recycle, donate, and toss!
I want to be proud if someone came over my house. Right now, I would be mortified if anyone showed up.
Give it to me! I need ideas! Oh and we cant have a bon fire so do not suggest that. hehehehe

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Now that`s a fire!

*266*

I had to call 911 yesterday.

Yesterday I planned on putting plastic on the windows in living room, general cleaning and cooking something nice cause Fred has the day off. It was a beautiful day and I just did not want to go anywhere. I was being fucking lazy! I even laid on the couch with my phone and went on Facebook. LAZY! I guess lazy was good yesterday. I got up to clean off the window sills to start putting the tape up for my winterization of the windows. All of a sudden I saw a puff of smoke by the window. I thought that I might have sprayed some of the windex into the outlet. So I unplugged the lamp. Then I saw another puff of smoke. I look in basement..nothing. I go back to the outlet, touch the wall, and it was hot. I went into SUPER MOM! mode. I grabbed phone, called 911, told them. They said get out of the house. I yelled for Natalie to throw warm clothes on and grab Lu (who was on my bed), Chelsea grabbed a cat, Natalie grabbed a cat, and I grabbed my cell, keys, put on slippers, grabbed Perla , and leashed Ruby. All went into the Jeep. No one was screaming or freaking out..Just calmly get the fuck out.
And we did not scramble trying to get the animals. They were all within our vicinities so it was just a quick grab and go. They came and turned off all the circuits to the living room. Just in case. The breaker for that room got overloaded and that is why the wall was getting hot. Two new things had happened. We bought that new heater for the living room AND I changed the bulb outside on the front porch. So one of these, both of these, or none of these did it. Fred has a really close friend that works as electrician at the hospital. He said it is simple to fix and figure out. He will be over on Monday morning.
I want all the outlets in the living room changed and I want to learn how to do it, so I can do the rest of them in the house. I have a book to teach me but I would rather SEE it being done.
I was scared afterward. I was thinking about all the whatifs. What if that happened while we were sleeping? Or when we went out of the house? We would have lost the house, the animals and ourselves.
 There was something that tipped me off that saved us. I bought these insulating inserts that you put between the wall and the outlet cover. It has the holes like the cover. They are used to block the air coming from outside walls. That is where the puff of smoke was coming from. That thing was melting from the heat. If I had not put that there, I would not have seen the smoke, and who knows what would have happened!
Everything happens for a reason, i guess.
We are all okay.
A bit scared but okay.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Yes! Yes! Yes!




*266* <---------Yes, this is true!  I really do weigh that!

Short post because I am covering windows. I picked up the scale cause I wanted to see if it needed a battery change. I noticed a switch. Kilos-LBS. It was switched over the Kilos. Maybe the cat did it cause he likes to put his paws under the scale to fetch things. So I switched it to LBS.

266...Woot! I have passed the 270 mark and told her to kiss my slowly shrinking ass!

Okay, gotta go.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

It is my anniversary!!

*270*

 It just dawned on me that I have not posted anything in a bit. I need to stop being so neglectful.
  November 14 was the one year anniversary of this blog. Yeah! I know that there are 19 of you visible and a couple more that just read. I always wondered how many there truly are of you. I hope I have not bored you all to death!
Today is the two year anniversary of my back surgery and being a ex-smoker! Woohoo! I have not smoked one cigarette since that last one. I am not going to lie. I have been tempted. And now that my youngest is smoking (MY BRAND!), it was hard at first but now it is no big deal. I do not want one 99% of the time.

   Last year at this time I thought I weighed 283 but later on we figured out that I really weighed 293 and probably more then that sometimes when I was not paying attention.  I have not stepped on a scale in a week but I know I am in the lower 270s to upper 260s. So I have lost 23 lbs since I started whining to you all. Damn, you would think fatty would have lost more then that. Huh? I hear of people losing a 100lbs or more in a year and I accomplished that. I will take it though but I wish it was alot more.
 I know now that the Actos was sabotaging my weight and so was my scale. Once the inches started to fall off and my clothes were getting looser, I was getting more motivated.  I get motivated when I see men look at my cleavage (yup, I am a slut. LOL), I get motivated when someone calls me Miss instead of Maam. I get motivated when a woman tells me I could not possibly have an 18 year old and then is shocked that I have an almost 23 year old. I get motivated when I got carded at the liquor store. That was a good one.
I see that my hair is longer and thicker. No more wispy wispys on top of my head. I dress better, I walk with more confidence, and I am trying to get myself together inside and out.
It may only be 23 lbs but what about this year? It could be another 20 or another 40 lbs. I have always been a slow like a turtle loser, even when I was young and lost a ton of weight. It is better on your skin anyway. It has time to TRY to snap back.


So what are my goals for this year?
I still want to weigh 210. That has not changed one bit. Now that my feet do not hurt anymore (thank you!!), I want to get moving. This puppy has got me moving my ass in ways I do not remember but I want to have a conserted effort to really work on my muscles. Abs. Back. Legs. Arms. I do not want to be skinny mini..never want that. Too much work for a former fatty to stay skinny skinny. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and not have to wear Spanx with a dress!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Leaves

Japanese Maple
*270*

This is a pic of my side yard this morning. The leaves are piling up. The Japanese Maple has not lost any leaves yet but that will be soon. I love that tree. I planted it a couple years after we moved here. I have been trimming it every year. I do not want it to get big.
I look at that picture and I see leaves to bag, dog shit to pick up, plants to cut down, bushes to trim, and stuff to put away before it snows.
I can also see a beautifully colorful yard that any child would love to dive into if there were no dog bombs present.
My favorite time of year.

Friday, November 11, 2011

UnThanksgiving and Fallen leaves of 2011

Trees in my back yard
*270*

  I am repeating myself from Facebook but that is okay. Just indulge me. It was taking forever for the leaves to turn and fall. It is the second week of November and the leaves were just starting to turn. We would have already bagged the majority of the leaves already and been on our second round by now. I have not bagged one bag yet, and neither has any of my neighbors..until last night. The leaves changed and then we have a rainy wind storm. That is all it needed. Still leaves on the trees BUT lots and lots on the ground. I have to wear my garden clogs to watch for shitbombs while I rake. Ruby has been good about pooping in the same areas but I want to be careful just the same! LOL Speaking of Rubylicious, she is a smart fucking cookie. She has already figured out the flaws in my fencing in the yard. I need to go to Home Depot today and pick up an extra section to block her ass from coming out of the yard. Sneaking little minx. She is getting big. I need to get some snaps of her when I get a chance. The last time I had a puppy (Precious) we also had our older dog Pokie to teach her. It took no time at all to have those dogs trained to stay in the yard. This one is testing me at every turn. She is lucky she is cute.

(I am not in anyway wanting to make this a discussion about race..this is about how I am treated at home.)
   We are not celebrating Thanksgiving this year. We are not even making a special meal, just because. It is going to be another day on the calendar. My daughters are pains in the asses. See, I am the white woman that cannot form any sort of opinion on anything that has to do with Black or Native American issues. They want to make me look stupid at every chance (at least one of them does). They are Narragansett Indian. That means we cannot even eat a turkey dinner because of the genocide of the Indians. Last year I did an UnThanksgiving but this year they said that wasnt good enough. I had to just ignore it existed at all. Yup..ah huh.

So I am going to fuck with their minds this year. Only 2 presents per person on Christmas. That is it. No electronics. No fancified gifts. Christmas is about family and love and all that is nice in the world. It aint about an over abundance of gifts.
SHIT! If I cannot have my turkey..I sure as hell am not going into debt for those two. Nope! They are adults now. Most adults get one present or none at all. I am being generous.
Fred and I will just indulge each other in January for our birthdays and anniversary! tee hee
Is that mean?

Do you watch?

Oh yeah!


American Horror Story that is....

Natalie, Raymond, and I have been watching it since the first episode. They had us at Dylan Mcdermott`s buff ass on that first night. Then I found out one day that he is 50 years old. Damn!
Anyway (wiping drool), I wondered if anyone else has been watching. I missed Wednesday`s episode but Natalie taped it for me and she watched it for me. I was thoroughly grossed out and have to say that was a really good episode. I hope they do not cancel this gem. Some may think it is stupid but alot of people love it. Not scary in the fingerprints on your face sense but creepy. Makes you wonder what they are going to think of next. If you are interested in watching it, it is on Hulu online to catch up.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Christmas may not suck

*270*

 I have been stressing a bit about Christmas ever since the day after Halloween. BAM! There go the gosh darn Christmas commercials. Really? You could not wait until after Thanksgiving? You have to start on November 1? It makes those of us with NO cash feel just a bit more crappy for a whole month longer. Suck it Corporate retail Santas!

  My kids are all adults now...all three of them. (if you did not know, we consider Raymond one of our kids now. hehe) The youngest seems to be the most mature of the three.. Well Rainbow would never say anything so I am just being kind as to not pointing out the glaring omission I am making.
Anyhoo..I told her about the two gift maximum that some of my friends and I discussed yesterday. Two gifts max per person. No high end shit. No electronics. Just nice things. Like a book. Or a sweater. etc. So you feel good that you got something but no one is stressed the fuck out cause they spent the mortgage payment on gifts. She was receptive to the idea. I will still do stockings though. They love the tradition and I love to hunt for weird and unusual things. Nothing costs alot in the stockings. But I find different things in the candy realm, plastic toys, Hanukkah gilt, and that sort of thing.
I will keep the cost down on each gift. So that is 10 gifts if you include me. If I planned this well, I could spend $200 on Christmas easily! Wouldn't that be grand?
I sound so sappy. Cause I KNOW that one child is going to fight this tooth and nail. This child will NOT want a two present max or specific amount spent. This child will talk about how all her choices are inexpensive and she wants all that is on her list. They both make lists. One is an abstract list that gives you ideas. The other is a laundry list of specific things that you must get and dammit! Do not stray from the fucking list!
Yup, these are the children I raised.
   I remember one year, my Dad was on strike at work and he was in the hospital for something (not scary) so there wasn't alot of money. My Mother kept asking me if I would like a air pop popcorn maker for Christmas. It was the newest thing out there. I was like 10 and I kept saying NO! NO! NO!
Guess what my ONE gift for Christmas was? The fucking popcorn maker. So my Mom wanted it and made it my fucking gift! AND she said I was ungrateful cause I did not fawn all over the Rival Popcorn Maker. That was one of the suckiest Christmas` on record for me.
 So I never wanted them to feel they had one. But they have! I have given them wonderful Christmas Mornings and they felt this one or that one sucked because they didn't get what they wanted! Selfish brats!
 I think writing this post is helping to reinforce this whole new way of thinking about Christmas. It is not about the gifts! It is about the family, the season, and the food! Gifts should be an afterthought.

So No Bah Humbugs from me this year!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The misadventures of Dale and Heidi

It was COLD!!


*270*

  I am finally coherant enough to tell you all about my trip. I was on the train for 4 and half hours on Saturday and another four and half hours on Sunday. So my ass was beat down to the ground. Then yesterday at 9am, I had a shrink appointment. OMG! I promised myself that I would cook a nice meal of tacos for the kids and carne asada for Fred and I. I even did pico de gallo and guacamole. I took like 3 hour nap, woke up, cooked, ate, ate, ate, and then went to bed. It has been grazing on food and sleep to get back to myself. Almost there! Maybe tomorrow I will be back to my old self. That pic up top is when we all went outside to wait for the train. It was so damn cold. I was not dressed correctly. But Heidi would rather be cold then hot. That is my rule.
Young Love in Newark
  I had never traveled on an Amtrak train before. I have gone on the Metro into NYC but never Amtrak and never far away from home. This was an adventure and I was all by myself. For the first leg of my journey, I sat with a lovely woman from New Zealand who was traveling from Boston to NYC. We talked. It was nice. Then I was alone for the next two hours. I saw many cool things outside that train. We were going to fast that I could not get them all. I saw the NYC skyline..Empire State and Chrysler building. Very cool. I have seen them before but not like from a distance like that. I have to tell you. Four and half hours is mega grueling on the ass cheeks. LOL Plus you have to use Amtrak bathrooms and that is just a hover situation right there!
  
Reading Terminal Market
  I have decided I am going to protect Dale`s face identity, where she lives, and stuff like that. Facebook friends are one thing..the entire world is clearly another. I met up with another mini friend Dianne and her two travel companions. We went outside and after a bit of strife, Dale found us. She and I screamed like little girls and were hugging in the middle of a busy street. That is a friend, I tell you. She drove us around Philly to get to our destination of Reading Terminal Market. I saw City Hall and William Penn, I saw Occupy tent city, I saw people jumping out in front of cars like they did not give a shit. It reminds me of New York City but different. We park, we walked to the market and it was wonderful. I have always wanted to go there. That picture is a place called Dinic`s. Fred wanted me to get a sliced italian pork sandwich but that is the line...going all around the stall. There was no way on this Earth that I was going to wait for a sandwich. Sorry Fred. We settled on a gyro place and we had falafel. Grape leaves were soooo goood! The food was so good that I picked up some pastry to bring home. I  think it is actually all gone. I am happy that Dale indulged me and let me see this place for myself. Thanks Dale!
   




  From there we went over a big bridge into Jersey and off to the Philadelphia Miniaturia and I got to meet Dale`s sister April. Very nice and super cool in my book.  The show was in  a large venue. Many rooms. It was really overwhelming to me and to others in our group. I have been to mini shows before but not like this. I had decided that I was going to do a turn around the rooms, make some decisions and on Sunday do some purchasing. I got to meet Bridget McCarty in person. She makes lifelike miniature animals. And I met Rik Pierce and his wife. He is the one that built that dollhouse in the picture above. I was also happy to finally meet Sherri Colvin. She was part of Greenleaf forums back in the day. She makes dollhouse dolls. We just gabbed and gabbed for a good 20 minutes and the show was ending for the day. I am glad I saw her. . My freaking leg starting to kill me. You know me and my bump fucking leg. So I sat down in the hotel lobby. I did get up and walk over to a guy that was selling miniature frames. Nice gilt ones. I am planning on trying to do some oil painting and I wanted some frames for the finished product. We were done for the day with miniatures. There was always Sunday anyhoo.
 We drop off Dianne and her crew at the bus depot and then it was off to Dale`s house.
Her family was the nicest. From Dale and her husband, her sister, April, her daughter and friend, all the way down to Sissy the dog and her pretty cats. Tommy Boy IS a holy terror but he is cute as hell. I would have kept him too. I kept asking Sissy if she wanted to take a train ride. :)
 See those boxes there? Those are crack in an orange box. It is a seasonal treat in her area and it only comes out for a couple months this time of year. She gave me one box to bring home. Later on Sunday, we went to the market to get snacks for train and ketchup for dinner and I saw these on display. I bought another box. And it is a good thing I did. Everyone in the house, including Raymond, LOVES THEM! FUCK! I should have bought two boxes! LOL
 We talked and talked and talked until i had to tap out and go to bed on Saturday night. Sunday morning was lots of good strong coffee. Dale says..do you want to go to the show and when? I said, I do not really care if we go back. So we didnt. We hung out in her third floor studio and she showed me her treasures. Jealous! All that room! All those minis! All that discipline and motivation! I need to get me some of that! I think I did not need to buy anything to become inspired. I think Dale herself did it for me. Thanks again Dale!
My main objective was to go mini shopping. The trip morphed into me becoming really close with my far away friend. It was lovely and I did not miss that show one dang bit. Oh and Dan (dale`s hubby) made cheese steaks for dinner on Sunday. OMG! Really good. He made one for Fred and I insisted his ass had to share with me. He would not. sniff sniff.
 I didnt want to but it was time for me to go home...
  
Angel at Philly station
I figured out by reading the NY Post on Saturday that there was a reason I had to take a late assed train home on Sunday, 7:19pm-11:30pm plus factor in the time change. Amtrak was replacing a bridge in Stonington (not far from New London) and there was no service all day.
Dale and her daughter Grace gave me a ride home to the station because Grace had to go back to college anyway. They have a great Mom/Kid relationship. Plus Dale likes to sing Black eyed Peas. damn camera was already packed away. hehehehe We hugged outside the station and I was off on the second leg of my weekend. The travel home. I was a tad worried about what the station was going to be like at night. It wasnt bad at all. Amtrak dude told me where to wait for my train, lots of cops and security and people coming and going. I had no worries. But shit, it was warm.
waiting to go home

  I was looking cute in my black sweater, black leggings, and black boots. Until I got on the train. It was mad spicy on there! *that is hot as hell in kid speak*.
And I was sitting in front of a woman and her 20 something son. They argued all the way to the NYC station. It was that whisper fight. Trying to be fucking quiet but actually everyone can hear you. They got off at NYC so that the Lord for that one. I was able to move to a seat by myself. Then I got the hippy chic and her boyfriend with the mile high JewFro in front of me. Get a comb dude! He kept putting his seat back and then up. I could never use the tray table cause I would have been cut in two. Fucker! Another person came on the train in NYC and he intrigued me....
He was wearing a medal around his neck. It did say 2011 on it but I could not tell about anything else. What if he was a weirdo freak and I ask him about his medal? I was too tired for any bullshit. So I just ignored it. I was informed the next day by some Facebook friends, that the NYC marathon happened on Sunday. He was not one of the men`s winners. But if you can complete the race in the time alloted, you get a medal. Pretty cool.
 The first two hours of the train ride I can tolerate. That is from Philly to just past NYC. After that I was itching to get this shit done. Once we were in CT, I felt better but we had to stop at Stamford, Bridgeport, New Haven, Old Saybrook, and then New London. I was never so happy to see the shoreline as I did that night.
Fred was waiting for me when the train stopped. He and I went to get burgers and breakfast at 24 hour diner in Groton. He watched me inhale a tossed salad, pickle, cole slaw, large cheese burger, and fries. INHALED! I was starving like marvin, I tell you. I had food in my bag from the trip but I did not want to dig into the chips. I picked up a brand called Herr`s chips that we do not have here. The flavor was Cheddar and Horseradish. SO Good. I even looked online and they will deliver! I am seriously thinking about having them delivered to my house. Is that sad?
 I came home with three gold picture frames, an oriental rug that Dale made, some miniature shells that she collected, food from her region and a great friendship that will last for a long time.
 The eight hours on the train were definitely worth it!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

No more yummy Lobster either...


*269*<---yes, that is correct!

I went to the Allergist yesterday. One of the greatest things is that she had to weigh me.  I told her my scale was broken and I wanted to see if I had lost any more weight. WooHoo! So for all of you that are following along, if I was using my old scale, it would say that I weight 259..cause it was broken. But I am truly 269. So I am moving along rather nicely. I have clothes that are floating on me AND my stomach is going down. I can tell MYSELF. Pretty cool.

About the allergist. I have to have bloodwork done for all shellfish and latex. Shrimp, lobster, crab, mussels, clams, oysters, and scallops. Most likely I will only be allergic to the first three. Then I have to be careful when dining out. Many places do not have seperate bins for people with allergies. You have to talk to the manager to make sure that it is safe. The Dr had a patient that got an allergic reaction to eating french fries at a restaurant You can become so sensitive that the oil the food is cooked in can transfer to you.
I learned alot. I need to keep both epipens in my purse. Just in case one doesnt work, there is the other one. I need to call 911 if I use my epipen to be evaluated.
So I will do the blood work tomorrow when I do my errands. Then I go in for latex scratch test and then the seafood scratch tests. I think I can live without eating shrimp, lobster and crab even though they are soooo yummy. It wont be such a tragedy if I can still eat the mollusks. Crossing fingers!

I will probably not be posting tomorrow and I leave on Saturday morning for the weekend. I am off to have some fun with my friend and meet some mini peeps and spend some money!
Yay!

Monday, October 31, 2011

Philadephia Miniaturia

Greenleaf Dollhouses *The Arthur*

I love to build dollhouses from scratch. I have built three of the Arthur in the picture myself. I gave each of them away. Ever since I had my back problems and then the economy, I have lost the desire. I think I had to let it go for a bit because it costs money for this hobby. Some people will tell you *Oh no, you can cobble together yourself a really nice dollhouse with scraps around the house.* And that is true most of the time. But sometimes you want it to look a certain way and if you cannot be that way, why bother.
So I have kits in boxes and houses half finished because I did not think it was right to spend money on those things. Until now..
 I am leaving on an Amtrak train early morning Nov. 5 and coming home late evening Nov. 6 to go to Philadelphia and to my friend`s house in Jersey right over the border. We are going to go to the Reading Terminal Market, because I begged, and we are going to the Philadelphia Miniaturia. It is the largest miniature show and sale in New England and happens only once a year. I am hoping to find something to spark my interest. I know I will!
  It will not just be for the minis though. It will be to hang out with my friend and her husband and sister. Have some fun times away from home! I have not done that in forever and it is about time. Dont you think?
  I will make sure to take lots of pictures. I have to make a frigging list! I am used to packing for other people but not for myself.
I only need clothes for one day, jammies, medicine, phone/charger, camera and charger, medicine, socks, etc etc.
Those of you that travel know what I mean.
So I am nervous and excited all bundled up in one!

To be continued....

Halloween 2011



Happy Halloween! Happy Samhain!

I am sitting here in my jammies at 930am and contemplating my day ahead. I have a pumpkin to carve (already cleaned out). I have to fill the torch containers with that torch fluid to light tonight. I also need to clean the bathrooms. Wow, what a fun, hip, swinging Halloween I am gonna have.

It just isnt the same as it used to be. I remember having fun with it because the kids were younger. I would make their costumes with the sewing machine. Sometimes for Natalie`s birthday we would have a sleepover if Halloween fell on a Friday or Saturday. I was a nut. I had like 8 kids that were not my own, sleeping over and terrorizing the neighborhood by trick or treating. I would feed them dinner, let them watch scary movies, eat junk, give them a big breakfast, goody bags and send them on their way home. We never had a problem and everyone was satisfied.
Now, the kids go off and do their own thing and Fred does not ask for Halloween off anymore. He is working. I will be home with Natalie and Raymond. They said they would pass out the candy.

 Fred says that it looks like I am melting away weight wise. I want to be oh so happy about it but I need to talk to my Dr. If he says that it is the effects of not taking the Actos anymore then I will love it. Just want to be safe. Doesnt it suck being in your 40s? Most of the time I would be thrilled that the inches are dropping off. Now I worry about unexplained weight loss.  I am still eating crap but my clothes are falling off of me.  I am enjoying it though. It is wonderful!
I just need to get to the gym soon so I can exercise AND check my weight on the scale.
Okay, gotta get moving.
I have Halloween tasks to perform!
Trick or Treat.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Sweet Baby Milo

video
This is Milo. Please excuse the fact that the video is sideways. Natalie shot it with her cellphone and she forgot to turn it. It is still cool as hell!

This cat has been trying to figure out how to get to the top of the bookshelf that is Oliver secret lair. I showed this cat 3 times where to go, but he is a cat and he would rather do it his way. He climbed my window shade twice. So I rolled it up to deter him.
That did not work.

Dog shit and hurt feelings

The only way I can get clear picture.

* I am going to the gym tomorrow and I will weigh myself and then I will know if that 270 was a fluke or not. I will report back then. *

Ruby Update!
Lu-Bee-Doo  hates her guts. I mean literally, Little Miss Lu..the sweet faced Maltese Yorkie that bats her eye lashes and has a purple tail feather HATES RUBY`S GUTS! I can swear I hear her say Fucking Bitch under her breath.  I keep reaffirming my love for both the small dogs but Lu is not having it. She does not like it and she makes sure she voices her loud opinion on the subject every chance she gets a look at that sweet face up top. If Lu could handle a switchblade, I think she would do Ruby in. I am beside myself with this a teensy bit. I have had animals kinda be hating on the newbie of the house but after awhile, they get used to each other and it is a big ole flea swapping party!
 No No Nanette! Lu is NOT going to like this dog...EVER!

  Ruby is getting bigger but she is not going to be a monster like a Lab (thank god). Her poops are as big as a humans though and she shits all over the yard. But not in the grass mind you..in all the garden beds. So now, I have to go walking through the bombs of shit to clean it up. I have to do that today anyhow. She has only shit in the house once since the last time I said and she knows what the adult bed piss pads are for. She and Lu use them on a regular. I think I will keep them in the house for this winter because Lu does not like going out in the snow. She is a true Diva.
    Ruby is doing really good. She is able to hold it longer in the morning too. I still have to carry her ass up and down the stairs. She tried to navigate up the stairs here by herself and she got scared and fell. She is ok. She only fell down like 5 steps but I caught her at the bottom so she did not hit the floor.

 I am getting better. I am not AS exhausted as I was when she first came here. I am not secretly having thoughts of bringing her back to the previous owners anymore. I am good. She knows to not trip me. and that I am her Mother. Not Grandma like I had hoped but Momma. Natalie has punked out on her dog mother duties. So it is basically all me. Seems fair, huh?  Ruby follows me around everywhere I go... so we all know what that means.
Another 14 years of happiness.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Ovens that clean themselves! Oh, and a snowstorm in October.



No snow yet. Just lots of rain. It is a cold one. I turned the thermostat onto 60 deg F. If it gets cold enough, it will kick on. I think it is too warm here near the shore. I think we may see some flakes but it will just be a rain event for us here. It better be. I have to go out later at 6pm to pick up Chelsea downtown. She is volunteering and gets to see a show at the local playhouse. $70 admission for free.
 Chelsea got the job at the library! She found out today. She has to go in Monday to fill out her paperwork and then on Wed, Thur, and Friday she will train. She will be working in the children`s section as the librarian`s assistant. They wanted some fresh blood in the place. A younger and fresher outlook on how to get more kids into the library. She can work up to 19 hours a week and she has to work two Saturdays a month. She is happy. I am glad she finally found a job in the area that she has been working in..kids.
 Natalie might get a job too. She turned 18 yesterday. Today her friend is going to talk to the big boss (who he is friendly with) to give Natalie a chance to get a job at the local grocery store in our area. He also wants to transfer to the same store for the winter so he doesnt have to drive the long distance to his current location. I hope she gets it. She will have her own money to buy what she wants.
   I am in the midst of cleaning the oven. I sprayed it with cleanser on the inside and wiped all the grease and bits down, let it dry, and I just turned on the self cleaning mode about 10 minutes ago. The house smells horrendous. I was keeping an eye because we had a mishap with our old stove last year. I used self cleaning and a fire started in the oven. It was a small fire, and I was able to turn off the oven and it died down rather quickly. But it scared the shit out of me. So I am leery of self cleaners. I had learned my lesson though. You wipe out all the grease on walls and floor of stove and any bits. Those are what catches fire.
 Fred is off to work, Chelsea is gone till 6pm, and Natalie is taking a nap from last night`s partying. She said this was the best birthday ever. I am glad.
 I also am glad that I have a piece of her chocolate cake with some chocolate chip ice cream next to me. Home made. I even made butter cream frosting.
Okay, Let me die from the fumes from the oven and eat my cake.
Hope you do not have any snow either!!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Happy 18th Birthday to Natalie

Matt and Nat (couple months apart)
Today is Miss Natalie`s 18th birthday. I am waiting for her highness to get ready because we have birthday errands to run. It is cold as a witches tit this AM. I need to turn the heater on in here for the dog so she isnt cold in her cage aka prison cell.
I planned on having Natalie. Fred and I were married on January 9th, 1993. She was born in October. I had finally had medical insurance and I wanted another baby. I did not waste any time. My water broke on the morning of 27th but I did not know it. I had a OB appointment that day and he was yelling at me because I had not gone to the nutritionist. He was saying he could force me to stay in the hospital, etc etc. Big fucking asshole. After he was done, I told him that I had to start wearing a pad this morning and that I am having contractions. They tested the fluid and it was amniotic. He said he was sorry for yelling at me (fucking dildo) and I walked across the street to the hospital to have her the next morning. Quarter to 10 in the am.
She is going to get a cute dress at the mall and some cat ears and she is going to have fun tonite! I have to make her cake later on today.
I love this girl even though she makes me want to rip my hair out sometimes.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Feet!

Gross, huh?
*270*<---guessing

I realized last night that my feet do not hurt anymore. Seriously. I do not get up out of bed at night in pure agony. My heels do not feel like I am walking on gravel or glass. I think I need to not gain that weight back that I lost. I was about to spend $300 on specialty made shoe inserts when I fixed the problem for nothing. I lost weight!
It just all of a sudden dawned on me..you are not in pain in the footsie area. I forgot about it and then last night I really said it out loud. I am happy about this.
Oh, I was cleaning out my camera for my trip to Philly and I found a fat picture of myself before all this started. I do not think I can upload it on this computer but when I get a new laptop, I will surely add it on for you all to see. Because I need to take an upgrade pic. My stomach is definitely smaller.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Spicy Carmelized Pumpkin Seeds

I make these seeds every Halloween. I wait until the day before to carve our pumpkins out. Then I do the tedious task of separating the seeds from the strings, washing the seeds, and drying them off. It is a big pain in the ass but it is soooo worth it.


Spicy Carmelized Pumpkin Seeds

Yields 2 cups; 8 servings; 131 calories per servin

Ingredients:

3 T white sugar
1/4 t cumin
1/4 t cinnamon
1/4 t ground ginger
2 pinch cayenne pepper
2 cups raw whole pumpkin seeds, cleaned and dried
Cooking Spray
2 t kosher salt
1 T olive oil
2 T white sugar
Parchment paper


Directions:

-Preheat oven 300 deg F. Line baking sheets with parchment paper.
-In large bowl, stir together 3 T white sugar and spices, set aside.
Place pumpkin seeds on baking sheets. Spray top surface with cooking spray. Sprinkle with salt to taste. Bake seeds until golden ; 20-25 minutes.
-Heat oil in skillet over medium heat. Stir in toasted pumpkin seeds and 2 T white sugar. Cook and stir until seeds are coated with sugar; 2-3 minutes
-Stir the seeds into the bowl of sugar/spice mixture.. Toss to coat. Spread on cookie sheet to cool. Store in air tight container for storage.

These are really good and they do not last long in this house.

Enjoy!

200lb dreams, Pinups, and the broken laptop






  I have the laptop back. The geek said that he cannot fix the broken hinge. That is something Dell will fix. Unfortunately, the operating system has been changed AND I have a rule about paying to fix things I have gotten for free. I have a money limit and I think Dell will exceed that. So the laptop is here and I have written down some rules and taped them on the table next to the laptop. I have to do this otherwise someone will say that I NEVER said this or that. I do not want it moved from this table. I do not want the top to be closed. Shut down the laptop when you are done. I wonder how long it will be until someone starts complaining that their ass hurts sitting in the kitchen chair. You know what? Then don't fucking sit in front of the computer so god damn long! Then your ass wont hurt. Fuck!
   I am not saying who so just assume the dog did it..okay? But one of them actually asked me what I do with Dad`s  money because I had not bought a new laptop yet. I told them to NEVER question me about something that is none of their concern.  But if you must know, I spent the extra money on oil for the tank, groceries to feed you, and etc. I also said that if I was to get some extra help with some money every month, life would be a bit easier. That ended the conversation real quick. One is ready to help with money, the other is a tight fisted miser. And that one dislikes me lately cause I say no to them alot. And I throw it in their face that I really do not have to help them anymore. hehehe
Dad`s money. That pisses me off. I am sorry I cant work out of the home anymore. How about we have Dad deal with the money? They wouldn't want that to happen. Dad would completely cut them off. No qualms about it. He always tells me to think like a man. :)

  As you can plainly see, I love me some half naked pin ups. I think it all started when Chelsea and I went to see Notorious Bettie Paige at the movies. I think they are lovely. Only the old ones, not the fake posers that are doing it today. The women that did it back then were risking their reputations if anyone found out. I am going to dig around and find some more Halloween pin ups since the day is fast approaching. I am going to follow this lovely lady`s example and carve pumpkins this weekend. I have two pumpkins to carve and pumpkin seeds to roast. YUMMY! I make them spicy sweet and maybe I will share the recipe here.

  I had a dream this morning that I stepped on the scale and I weighed 200 lbs. I had lost 70 lbs overnight! I was thinner. No way was I skinny but oh so much thinner. It was a nice dream. I was finishing up putting clothes away and I have a dilemma. I have a couple shirts that I absolutely LOVE but I find they are too big for me now. That is a wonderful thing, right? But I love the shirts! They are not bummy shirts either. Since they are summer shirts, I decided to pack them away for now and revisit them in the Spring. If I am absolutely floating in them, they will be sent back to the Salvation Army to have someone else buy it.

  I had a really bad case of heartburn yesterday but I am better today. Of course it is raining so i cannot get any yard work done. It is going to get colder this week so I need to do some of the windows. I also have to hit Fred up for half the cash to buy one of those portable fireplaces from the Christmas Tree Shop. I want it for the livingroom.
Okay, now I am just avoiding my work around the house. I think I will hurt my ass a little bit more and drink a little more coffee and then bake some tollhouse cookies.