Saturday, February 28, 2015

End of Winter?



  Eating pickle spears and sweet pickled peppers

I am in a better mood today. But this post will be short. I will explain in a bit. I had a meltdown yesterday but after some talk with Hubs, I realized I have alot on my mind. Too much really. I will be okay in that realm.

  It is gonna snow tomorrow afternoon. I am not even gonna bitch about it. 4-8 inches. Yup. 

Taxes. I may do them tomorrow. I may not. We shall see. We will owe so I am avoiding like the plague.

 I could just lay around and watch Hulu Plus or try to read 50 shades of Grey again. I fell asleep two chapters in. Jane Eyre is better and she never makes me fall asleep. That says something about that book. 

 I have been trying to keep my stress eating down to a minimum and eat healthy things. Today it was a handful of ginger snaps, 5 Doritos chips (kid had control of my portion), and those pickles that are mentioned up top. But I also have a box of Russel Stover Chocolates in the cabinet.

My symptoms have gotten worse this past week. They are not WORSE but they are slowly ramping up. My hands are giving me trouble. My legs are heavy and a bit weaker. My neck hurts all the time. It gives me headaches. It makes my shoulders and collar bone hurt. And I had a scary thing happen today. I had a electric shock cattle prod thing on the right side of my head. I remember those from when my L5 was bad. But it was in my back. Having in head sucks major.

It looks like a her
niated cervical disc would be the best option at this point. I have read about Spinal Stenosis with Myelopathy. If that isnt me, then I am a monkey`s auntie.  March 21 isnt coming fast enough. Stupid tattoo that I really like. LOL


Speaking of Aunties, you should check out Auntie Fee. She has a Facebook page but I like to just go to her Youtube videos. She swears but she is funny and she cooks. She cooks for people that have very little money. I repeat. She swears. Quite alot. The guy behind the camera is her son, Tavis. He gets her riled up so easy. It makes us laugh. But I learned some new ways of cooking old favorites. 

The kid just gave me 3 tiny pizza bagels. The eating continues.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Enough is effin enough!

I dug out small trail for the furkids

*253* <---fuck you!

  I have had enough of the snow. The bone chilling cold. The clutter of my house. The lack of money cause everyone wants it. Yesterday, I think I blew a fuse in my brain. I was out all day yesterday. I come home and they wonder why I had not cooked dinner. Really? So you had a busy day saving the world and you couldn't do it?? The house is a mess. Literally. There are four adults in this house. One that is chronically sick who hates clutter. Hates mess. This mess stresses me out so badly. They don't care. I try to chip away at it as best as I can but then they all swoop in and fuck it up again. Yah!   They want this. They want that. I need it! It is dire!!! But nobody forks over any cash. Then they wonder out loud how I have spent all the money. Why isn't there any? Like i go to the casino or come home with bags from the Mall.

I have said it before and have had no follow through. But after yesterday. I really am done. There will be some major changes.

 I am tired of being the. one. that. does. everything.

   I have to have a MRI of my neck. It was supposed to happen STAT (this Thursday) but because of that stupid tattoo that I was roped into, I have to wait till March 21. Tattoos take 5 weeks to dry completely. They can actually run in the MRI machine. I am guessing it could be painful too. Something the Dr wants done now cause of my symptoms cant be done because I cant say no and stick to my guns. I am upset about this because there is really something wrong and because I am so damn weak..I have to be in a holding pattern. I am just really in a bad head space right now. I have to vent. I am sorry. 
   It is not exaggeration. They all truly take me for granted and expect the sick one to do it all. I ask.  They do a little bit. Then it is right back where it was before. So much MUST be done. I am so tired physically. You have no idea. I don't divulge all. Sometimes I wish that I didn't have to deal anymore.

I bet you o
nce it gets warmer, I will be better. Just not today.