Sunday, March 31, 2013

Easter Sunday 2013

 *263*<---did it today instead of tomorrow

Good Afternoon and Happy Easter!

  Hubs and I woke up at around 11am this morning. So we are NOT having a nice dinner at noon. More like later in the afternoon supper. I just did not want to get out of bed this morning. I figured out that even eating a handful of M&Ms would ruin me for the rest of the night sleeping. So I am sad to say that chocolate has to be out of my life unless it is really important. I was guilted into buying the Easter baskets this year. I did not buy anything. Then there was an argument, pleads of chocolate, THIS WILL BE THE LAST YEAR!!..So on Good Friday I bought two small baskets, filled them with candy, 99c spring colored nail polish, and shoved them in their rooms in the middle of the night this morning.

This is our ham. Aint she a beaut? She is waiting for her dress.
I found out just now that someone used the brown sugar and did not put it in a ziploc bag afterward. Hard useless block. Fred could not find any black pepper corns. Fortunately, the grocery store is open till 2pm today. He is off to get those two ingredients. So I am in limbo at this point and thought I would do my blog post. We are having this ham and a six lb turkey breast. I wanted my damn turkey dinner and I was not going to be stopped. Then these three complained that they did not like turkey, what were they going to eat. You know, they take my ass for granted, I know they do and I am an all day sucker. On Friday..oh all days, I bought this ham for $11. Not a bad price.
And I finally pinned down what we are having for our dinner today. Ham and Turkey Breast, small casserole of baked mac and cheese, small casserole of sausage stuffing, garlic mashed potatoes, small container of potato salad (goes with the ham), asparagus, roasted brussel sprouts, brown gravy, and a pugliese loaf of artisan bread. It is much food for all of us but we are making small dishes and we will all eat it for the next couple days. I will enjoy turkey sandwiches and then I will make a nice soup with the leftover ham.
 The dogs are barking. Must mean the man is back with my sugar.

That means I need to go for now. All is well. Spring has finally sprung! The crocuses are in bloom all over the place. I am feeling the way that I am feeling but I am good. Going to start walking on Monday or Tuesday. I think I will be doing it alone but that is okay. Some people dont want to walk with short people. LOL
I hope you are having a great Sunday whether you are celebrating the holiday or it is just too damn gorgeous out to stay inside.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Joyful, I am!

*264*<------Yes. I am back at it again.

   I am sorry. It has been a few days. I have been otherwise occupied. But here I am and I will make it a big post.
    I am going to post my weight again because I am back at this mess of losing weight again. I will weigh in every Monday. I had said to everyone that would listen that if I did not have cancer, I was done fucking around. Now is the time to work on this body. I have lost some inches from not being able to eat so I should continue the trend. I want to say this once (unless at another time it becomes resolved) that I am still in pain in my right side like it is my gallbladder. All the time. Every hour of every day. Hurts worse when I eat fats of any kind. My constipation has gotten better since I started drinking the protein drinks. I am not going to take the pill that was prescribed for my constipation. I do not want another prescription. I can drink Milk of Magnesia instead. I am saying this because even though I wont mention it again, you will know it is an ongoing saga of my gut. I am going to tell my GP in April about what my next steps should be since my GP must be the idiot of the group. He actually told me that my pain was probably skeletal or muscular. He wanted to get me off the phone basically. Douche Nozzle. I will try someone else.
  So I started drinking a chocolate whey protein shake every day for breakfast. I drink 16 oz of it with either soy or rice milk. Those are less fattening. Whey protein shakes can be used for weight gain as in for weight lifters or for weight loss as in fatties like me. Oh! I had to put a pair of jeans away!! They are too big for me to wear anymore. Woot! Anyway. The drinking of this everyday is two fold. It will help me lose weight, and my first meal of the day is liquid. It does not hurt me and it has my bowels starting to move better than before. I am going to start walking but I have a ton of yard work to do first. I was raking this morning when I was out with the dogs. Nice yard work weather. Not too warm, not too cold. Just right. After I drop the big kid off at work, I am going to get a couple beds raked. Our town is not picking up leaf bags anymore so i will throw them up in the top yard to decompose.
  I am very happy today. Rainbow has decided to move back here. He is uber unhappy where he is. He was so indecisive about coming to live with us because of the space issue. When I told him that Big kid was moving to California in the Fall, that totally decided for him. He can have her room or the kids can switch, whatever. He will be here in three weeks. In the mean time, I am going to buy one of the Serta roll away beds. Not the crappy ones. One of the nice ones. I used to have to sleep on one at one point in my childhood, so I know they can be comfortable. Short story...both my brother and sister had to come back home to live for a bit because of lost jobs. I had to sleep on a roll away bed because there was not enough room at the time. I think I slept on that bed for a year. It wasn't bad and it was not a bad memory for me at all.  So he will live in the living room until September and then he will get a room upstairs. He will work and save his money so that he can go out on his own. He is kind of kick starting the other kid into working too. So I am Joyful! All my kids are growing and moving on..kinda sorta.
 Easter is in a few days. I have a turkey breast for the protein. The girls are pissed. Makes me think I should go out an buy a small ham too. Make some potato salad and shrimp salad. I do not know.

    Yeah, I am going to work on the losing weight thing again. My food intake is limited because of whatever is wrong with my gut. I just need to lay off any junk food now. Because it is bad for me and it is making my sugars bad. I cannot eat candy, cookies, chips, or any of that good stuff because of my diabetes but also because of my delayed digestion thing. The food sits in there too long and I am fighting blood sugars that I shouldn't have to fight. Meaning, I put in my insulin. It should lower my blood sugar. But it doesn't. Because the Lay`s potato chips are sitting in my colon and consistently raising the sugars again. Boring!! I know....

That is it. That is all that is going on. I have yard work to do and I have spring cleaning to do and I have to start tossing shit that I do not need anymore. Books need to be packed in totes. All this clutter drives me a little bat shit. I love my oldest child to pieces but I cannot wait for her to go. She is the major clutter bug/messy marvin in this house. It will be a relief to not have to pick up after another person every single day.

I will be back on or before Easter probably freaking out over what is for dinner.
Have a nice day!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

High Five!

No Cancer!

I have to start taking a pill for the constipation. He does not know why I am in pain. If the pain does not go away with it, then I will have to cross that bridge when I comes. I have 3 months to give the pill a try. He upped my omeprezole for my GERD too.
 This is a very good day!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Last Day of Winter


After a dreary morning, a bit of snow, and a ton of rain...the sun has finally come out. Love the sun! The last day of Winter would be a fucking bitch, right? I want to start working in the yard without having to wear a winter coat and gloves. Ahh! The sun. :)

  I bought a small turkey breast for Easter. I want turkey dinner and we had decided no more hams after the one we had for Christmas. It is a small turkey though. Very small. I remember being able to get a 10-12 lb breast for like Thanksgiving. The largest I could find was a little over 6lbs and the biggest they were offering was 7lb. Oh well. I will make sure to hoard some leftover slices for myself to have turkey sandwich afterward. I have decided there is going to be garlic mashed potatoes, asparagus, broccoli, sausage stuffing and I think make that shrimp salad that I make with the orzo. Fred and I love that and we eat it for days afterward. I could make a nice vanilla cake and get some ice cream to eat with it.
Oh and deviled eggs for sure!
 This is the first year that I am not making Easter baskets. These girls are 24 and 19. I think I deserve a break from the baskets until I get some grand kids. I do not feel the least bit guilty. I think because I have so much on my mind that I need to just let some shit go. I wish I could let the fucking bills go too. Ha!

  I finally made the Blood Orange Marmalade. I kept working on the oranges every weekend and then freezing the pulp and the skins. I had to add two regular oranges to get the amount that I needed to can them. It is a really beautiful color. I was able to get 10 of these half pints. I am treating them like actual gold. You have to be special as hell to get one of these babies! Thought I would let you all know that I eventually did finish them. I just did not have the energy or the want to do it but I had to. I was not going to waste all that money spent on citrus fruit go to waste because the fruit went bad.
Now I have a nice spread for toast.

I am a bit bloated this afternoon. Natalie made burger sliders for lunch. I am waiting for digestion to begin.
It better hurry up cause I have Thai Green Curry chicken to make for dinner.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Got Polyp?

I am sorry!!
   I could have posted yesterday but I was way too busy sleeping and eating. Really. I came home and ate lunch and had a large coffee. Then I watched some tv and then went to sleep. I woke up three hours later. We went out to the 24 hour diner and we both had breakfast. All I did all day was drink. Water, soda, what have you. I am sore today but okay. The side of my neck hurts (that happened last time I had a endoscopy), and my stomach hurts. It hurts from the cutting that was done in there.
 They found three polyps in my colon and two polyps in my stomach. Yup.
 I saw the Dr before the procedure but not afterward. He had patients back to back doing exactly what he did to me so I understand. I have to wait one to two weeks for the biopsy results. I already know that I will be having colonoscopies and endoscopies in my future years. If they ever find more than one, you have to be closely monitored every two years. Oh Joy!

Oh! God! I didn't tell the worst part! The Suprep stuff you have to drink to clean out your colon is vile. It is the worst stuff I have ever ingested in my life. It is salty, sweet, hint of fruitiness, and back taste of  metallic. And you cannot just chug-a-lug it. I would have vomited if I did. It was bad and I bitched the whole time I drank it.The whole 16 oz of it.  Afterward, you have to drink 32 oz of water to dilute it as it is going down. Then ten hours later, you have to drink it again!! It works pretty quickly. I am not getting into specifics cause that is gross. But within the hour, shit started grumbling and moving.

  Anyway, I am still in pain right now so I cannot tell you if the removal of the polyps cured my stomach pains. Because I think the polyps were in the area on my right side that hurt all the time. I know that my back does not hurt anymore. But I am going to give it a few days to heal to really see. I hope it did the trick. When I got home, my right upper side hurt like a bitch, so pretty sure that is where he cut.
There is that problem of what are they going to tell me. Were the polyps together in my colon? Was there just a big one in that spot that was cutting off the area for food to move and for me to have pain? That is what is the scary part. The part that I am afraid of. I just want to think happy thoughts. They got the bastards and hopefully the pain I have been dealing with for 3 months is gone. Finito!
 As for the two stomach polyps...I do not know what to think. Hubs had one a couple years ago and it was fine. I am going to be honest. I am scared and I am not scared at the same time.
 I am just going to wait for the one to two weeks and hope all is well.

The little kid is gone on her trip and hubs works this weekend. Just me and the big kid. She is not feeling well so that means it is just me. I have no idea what I am going to eat for dinner or what i am going to do. I am supposed to take it easy today.  Nothing strenuous at all for the weekend they told me. I guess I can sleep, watch movies on Netflix, and making something yummy for dinner. I am in the major mood for Smoked sausage, rice and kidney beans.
Have a great weekend and Happy St Patrick`s Day!

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Snowy Saturday

Not my Jeepo

It snowed! And I went out and drove in it by myself! And I did not die! Woot!  I had to go out yesterday morning for something that I could not cancel. So I pulled up my big girl pants, brushed the snow off the Jeep, put her in 4 wheel drive, and went on my way. It was still snowing, many places had not been plowed at that point, and I was not scared. It felt so good to be *independent*. I am not afraid anymore. There wasn't anyone to whine too while I was driving so I just did it and I did it well. Today the snow is melting. It is close to 50 deg F outside and we do not even have the heat on. I will probably use the shovel later on to push it out of the way from the cars.

  I have to start the low residue diet on Tuesday for my tests. It is coming up quick! I have been waiting so long to get some answers and now the day is coming and I am a bit nervous. Like I do not want to know! It is probably nothing serious at all. Some bullshit disorder that I will have to learn to live with. This has been how I sleep at night. It isn't cancer. Because if it is, I am going to lose it. I do not think I could mentally handle all the comes with having cancer. The pain, the surgeries, and everything else. Nope! It has to be something else.
I think I am at some wonky assed denial stage. Whatever gets me through the day, huh?

I have more oranges to do for the damn marmalade. I have been doing them in batches and saving them in the fridge. When I have enough tomorrow, I will make it. I hate making it cause it is a pain in the ass. I will probably never make it again.
Hope you have a great weekend. I am going to spend mine cleaning.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Blowing away in the wind

Milo is waiting for the world to whiz by

Milo and Oliver have been glued to this area for the past two days. We have been having a Nor`easter so to speak and it has been really windy. They are enjoying watching the yard fly by. It is a bit colder too because of it. we were supposed to wake up to snow covering the ground but that did not happen. Then they said we would see snow this afternoon...the sun is out. Then they say that I will wake up to snow tomorrow morning. I hope to hell not! I got shit to do tomorrow. Thank you very much for the New England Winter that you gave us but now it is time to let that shit go. Let us have some sort of Spring this year. Do not jump right into hot weather just yet!

  I have to pick up my two orders (yes I said two) of Girl Scout cookies. There are two people that have little girls selling. I wanted to help them both out with their quotas. So I bought $24 worth from each kid. We each get a box of what we want and the rest goes in the deep freezer. Hopefully we will all forget they are there. Until I have to go digging out a whole chicken, then all bets are off!
 I have a renewed sense of adulthood going on. Extra cash is coming into the house, I have a talk with a financial person and found out I SHOULD have $600 that is not used every month. That is after everything is paid. The only thing not in that budget was allowances for Fred and I. But even so, we both do not need $75 if gas is already paid for. The other thing is I finally did our taxes. I was afraid that I was going to have to owe big like last year. Nope. Only owe a very small amount. Thank goodness. Phew! Huge sigh of relief.  I got some boulders off my back and I ready to start anew.

  Got the call from the hospital yesterday. I am all pre-registered for my procedures. I just have to call the day before to get the time that I must go in. Starting on Tuesday I will start low residue diet and let us hope I can clean out my insides well enough for this scan. I am worried I am gonna need magazines in the bathroom for the amount of shitting that is going to go on. I have one more dose left of the bottle of milk of magnesia. I drank that whole thing in three weeks. I have some help from a friend that had colon cancer. She is a wonderful person and so far she is all clear. I have pain in my stomach still but the back pain has gotten a bit worse. More on the right side, mid and upper. I made pork roast with potatoes for dinner tonight in the crock pot.
I hope I can eat it because it really smells good!

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Squirrel Sunday

 I was awoken every so rudely by the dog barking at the JWs ringing my doorbell so early in the morning. Jeez. Don't they know us already?
 Then I got up and the dog was still barking cause there was a squirrel parade out in the back yard and patio. It is that time of year! The ground is warming up, the sump pump kicks on every so often in the basement, and the squirrels are out there looking for their nuts. They a bunch of hungry heifers. I like squirrels and I do not like squirrels. I probably told the terrifying story of me being challenged by a deranged squirrel in the garage when I went to get my bike when I was a kid. I have gotten over that now. I can appreciate their furry lusciousness.

My friend, Deb has a love/hate with the little bastards. I use every opportunity that I can get to show her the squirrel love. Funny pictures are the best. How can you hate on a rat with a fuzzy tail? Until they invade your house I reckon. Birds and Squirrels are entertaining to me.

   I am stupid but you already knew that...hehehe I wanted to test myself and see what would happen if I did NOT take the laxative like I have been every night. I have been going since I have been taking it and part of me wondered if I was *fixed* and could go on my own.
 Nada. Nope. Nothing.
    Do not worry. I will take it tonight. I just had to see if I could stop taking it. It isn't normal, is it? That someone that had no problem going every single day now can only go with medication. I already know the answer but I was hoping that maybe I was wrong. Twelve more days until testing.
Big kid leaves on her plane trip across country this week for work. Great adventure for her and her group mates. I told her I wanted a small souvenir from SanFran.
    Little kid learned that she has a knack with dogs. She is going to be recommended to learn and be paid to be a groomer. Our groomer is retiring and she wanted to see if kid had the gift. She does apparently but I already knew that. So this could be a path for her to start her adulthood. Not to say it is forever or maybe it is. She is happy and excited.

  Today consists of me taking Big kid around to get supplies for her trip, finishing off sectioning the blood oranges (i did half last night), and making meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner tonight.
Exciting life I lead, huh?

Have a nice restful Sunday!

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Came in like a lamb

  I was mega busy yesterday so I never was able to post my first day of the month post. So I will do it now. It was really nice out yesterday and made me happy to think of Spring. I have lots of raking to do because I was so sick from the head infection, that I let alot of it just stay where it was. There are poop bombs everywhere too but at least Ruby is a neat pooper. She only goes in the parameters of the yard. No yucky surprises in the middle.
  Remember how I was supposed to make marmalade last weekend? Yeah, well I didnt. LOL The oranges are fine. I am going to do it today. I am feeling rather well and I made a promise and paid money for those fuckers so it is on. If I wait any longer, they will be a bowl of dried up all bitties and they will end up in the trash.
 I eventually got hold of the Gastro scheduler for my endoscopy and colonoscopy. The earliest she could give me was March 15. Which is in two weeks! Again with the two weeks. But I will be nice. She said that after that (and the March 22 visit they had given before) there were no openings at all until June. So I am a lucky bitch they got me in at all. I went in yesterday and signed the release forms so that I am all set..that is my appointment.  I have my Suprep kit here. I talked to an old friend that had colon cancer and she gave me a pep talk and some advice. For any of you contemplating having a colonoscopy, the instructions will tell you to follow a low residue diet for one day, then liquid diet the next day and start drinking the laxative and then you have your procedure the following day. She told me to follow the diet for at least 2-3 days before the liquid. It will help clean out your system better. If you are not clean, they will have a harder time diagnosing.
 I left you for awhile. I picked up the kid from her first taste of being a dog groomer. Our groomer says she has the gift. She knows the manager of a pet chain in town. Crossing fingers she gets training and a job out of it!
  I brought Fred to work so I can pick him up and I picked up lunch from the Latin bakery downtown. I have a beef empanada and two beef tacos. I am guessing this post is done. I have food to attend to.

You have a great weekend and I will too.