Attack of the virus

*230*

  I was germed by someone and that is the reason no post this past Sunday. I am just feeling kind of okay today. I do not know if it was the a watered down version of the flu or a nasty cold but it sucked. The weekend was a blur of dayquil, cough drops, and pee pads. I say I do not know because I didnt have a fever but I was feverish. I had aches in my legs but it only lasted for a day. I was sick as a dog but I did not feel like I was dying. That is why it could have been a watered down version because I did have the flu shot this year. Even though that has been deemed to only be about 20% effective. I have a nagging leftover cough and my bladder needs time to recover but otherwise, I am gonna be okay. The laundry will get done.

Paid Internship

  I am thisclose to having a paid internship with a very large company in my area. I am not going to say what or where at this point. It will be 3 months to start off and can go to a max of 6 months. I will be able to use it as experience and filler on my resume. I need the administrative work to help show that I know stuffs. Just give me a chance! If they like me and vice versa AND they have a job to fill, I could be hired at some point. The wheels are rolling with this so it could be very soon. I also have another job that is very exciting and that is being reviewed. I have not had an interview for it yet but I will be positive. I had contact with the HR department already for that one. I am not putting all my hopes on it but it would be good if this one were to happen also. So I have balls in the air. Who would have ever thought when I started this blog that I would be close to going back in the working world? I wouldnt have. I try not to obsessively look at my email. It is like I am WILLING them to email me back with a time to come in for an interview. Come to me. Come to me. You want me to work for you!

No Boobs for You

  Because of this wretched ick that has befallen me, I had to cancel my boob MRI and Mammo. Plus I had to move my appointment with the boob surgeon so that it is after my scans. That will all happen in March now. I am also going to be able to get my upper endoscopy after all. The gastro is having someone else in her practice do it on a Monday so that Hubs can take me. My gut has felt better since I stopped taking the Methotrexate pills. I saw the Rheumy this week and he has switched me to injections instead. I will give myself a shot once a week. He says that it bypasses the gut so I wont have to worry about that being an issue. It was working so well for me too. Now all my patches have come back and brought friends with them. The pains I was feeling before are back also. I hope the shots do not give me any issues because I really want this to work.

Gotta Make Money, Honey

 I really really really need to get on the selling train. I have been so lazy about it. I have boxes of shit to put on Etsy and I have not even moved a muscle towards doing it. This past week has been a wash out because I have been sick, but that does not explain the past few months. I have literally have tons of shit to sell. I need the motivation. I know money is a motivation but that doesn't seem to be enough to force me to do it. I gotta DO it so these totes can stop staring at me. There are totes full of stuff right behind me. They are there because I have to photograph, post, and put them in a place for when they sell. I need to get boxes and bags and bubble wrap. Give me the motivation to get this started!! I know once I do it, I will continue to do it. I am one of those kind of people. You have to push me off the cliff and then I will fly. 
  I have a big dilemma. It has come time to pay for my garden beds at the community garden. I do not want to be there anymore. I do not like the way it is being run and last year all of our beds were taken over by ants that like to bite. We are not allowed to use chemicals and the people that run the place did not help us at all. I think that is why our peppers did not flourish at all like they have before. There is alot of weird stuff going on at the garden that I am not going to go into. Lets just say that the person running it is an asshole elitist and we will leave it like that. So my dilemma is there is a guy that is selling 4 foot, 100 gallon galvanized steel animal feeders for $50 a piece (or best offer) and I could get four of these and put them in the front yard. Fill them with compost and not have to do the community garden thing anymore. But even at $50 a piece...that is $200. I want to get four of them while he has them because of their small size and when am I going to get an opportunity like this again?
 But I am not supposed to be spending money. What would you do? Ugh! I told him I didn't get paid till the end of the month so we shall see what I do. I will either do it or not do it.

RIP iPad

 My iPad is dead. Okay, not completely dead but she is having issues with the screen. It started acting up a month ago. Yesterday it finally went. I could get the screen up long enough to email myself all the pictures I had saved on it. It is a iPad mini and I won it in a contest. I have had it for five years. It almost never left the house and I used it ever night when I went to bed. I miss it. The screen was big enough to watch videos but small enough that it was not cumbersome. It helped me so much when I was sick or healing. I will not replace it with a android one. NO. I went on the Apple website, I saw this one and I am in love but the price. After taxes, apple care, and such...it is $527. I know I could buy it someplace else but I like the protection you get when you buy it at Apple. Plus I can get a free engraving on it. I was going to call it Heidi`s Toy. 
 It is okay. Maybe if I get one of these jobs, I can save up for it. That gives me a little hope that I will eventually have one again.

That is it for today. I have breakfast/lunch cooking and then I am going to dive into some laundry and recipes. I have been slowly pecking away at the mess in the kitchen. I was literally in bed for three straight days. So maybe it was the flu. I hope you all are not having the flu or a cold. Enjoy the last grasps of Winter. March is coming and I am dreaming of Spring.

Frosty October Mornings are Good

*222* <---that was last week

  Today is Columbus Day. I am not in a debating mood about this holiday, but I want to say something. I am very PRO Indigenous Peoples Day and a day should be designated as a national holiday. Period. My husband, my children, my MIL, and all of her offspring are Indian.  My grandfather came from Italy in the end of the 1800s. He came through Ellis Island. I saw the copies of the paperwork. Italians were treated like shit in this country for many many many years. That is not saying that what happened to them and what happened to America`s native people are equal. Far far from it. You will not get an argument from me about that topic. I live in the area where the Pequot nation was at war with the English. The majority of Italians, my small 1/4 piece included, look at Columbo day as our holiday. A celebration of being Italian and the struggles and the triumphs. It was never about Columbus. It was a day off. It was a big dinner.  I just think that both sides should be recognized as being equally important. *off soapbox*

   I am on my 2nd of coffee. I learned something recently. Drinking bullet proof coffee in place of breakfast will not help with weight loss. You have to either drink it with a meal to offset your fat intake, drink it as a mid day fat add if you are hungry, or dont drink it at all. It will stall me. So I drink plain coffee in the morning and I save the BPC for later in the afternoon as a pick me up both caffeine and fat wise. I dont like *cheat days* because this is a way of life for me. 

 I totally stepped away for like 2 hours cause I had to do some stuffs. Today is a busy Monday. I am eating my lunch now (three halves of deviled eggs, 4 (maybe 5) slices of bacon and three cherry peppers). After that, we have to go to the garden, harvest the rest of the peppers, and cut everything down.  I have potato leek soup cooking in the crockpot. I will freeze it later so that Kid #1 can eat it. I am going to steadily work on finishing the trim in the livingroom. Tonight`s dinner is taco salad and keto jalapeno poppers. I am also going to cook some crispy chicken skin. Yes, I said skin. It is a keto thing and you wouldnt understand.

  The eye doctor told me that I am not blind enough to have surgery. The insurance company wouldnt pay for it. He told me to buy a pair of field glasses. They are just straight yellow and it will help with the glare of the lights at night, I hope. Phew. Let`s hope!


Let me go. My bacon is getting cold. I will make sure to come back again. My phone reminds me.

The dog needs a hygentist

*243*

    That up there is one of my kohlrabi at the community garden. I have never grown one or eaten one for that matter. It is like a radish crossed with a turnip. It is used in alot of Indian cooking. It can also be eaten raw. Here are the stats on this alien veg....Kohlrabi.

  The garden is actually doing really well. We have had some big rain storms the past couple weeks so it has helped with keeping the plants lively. I think we will have a bumper crop of tomatoes this year. I also have a shit ton of Leeks. I love leeks and I hope others do too cause there are going to be alot of them. 

 Perla is in peril. She is are almost 9 yr old chihuahua. She has heart issues and her teeth are in bad shape. She has a root infection in one of her big front top teeth. The vet knows we dont have a oil well out back so are going to be conservative. We cant afford a eckocardiogram. He says her heart sounds better then the last time. There are risks involved if we do the surgery...she might die. She will most definitely die if she doesnt get her teeth taken care of.  He says we have between 2-6 months to save up. It will be about $900 total for all her teeth to be cleaned, pull any that have to be pulled, and reinforce the rest. We can save that in 3 months if we are frugal-er. The antibiotic will kill off the bacteria but it will come back. That is the 2-6 month window.  She ate after the shot. She ate this morning and got her first dose of meds. So far no tummy upset. That is a good thing. She is my butt warmer.

Stress has to become my middle name or I should just tattoo it on my arm with the rest of them. There are so many urgent things that have to be done now. I just try to chip away at the most imperative...perla and ruby has to go back to have her teets looked at and possibly another round of cipro for her. I let other stuff go until I have the money, like the fridge with the door gasket that is shot or this laptop that is slowly limping to it`s death, minus the letter n. Plus you add in all the health bullshit, and I am just a joy. Most of the time I just keep it to myself. Why stress everybody out? I tend to catastrophize shit anyway. The bills will get paid. There will be food.

 As for my health, I am at bargaining.  The crap that is life. You wake up one morning and your life has changed forever. I had that happen with the fibro, diabetes, CFS but I learned to handle it. Go with the flow. Take it easy and life will have fewer bumps.
Then this whole skull/brain tide rolled in. Like a fucking tsunami.  I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 
Who would have thought it would have been steel toed?
 Most days I am fine. If I stick to the low sodium, take my meds, and drink plenty of water.  But these storms and rainy days are awful. I can barely function and the brain squeeze makes me mean. Very mean. I just feel so alone with this sometimes. I cant enjoy a simple walk in the woods because the simple fact of all the trees is too much stimulation for my skull defect/vestibular issues.

Think about that for a moment. A quiet walk in the woods makes me sick because of the sunshine filtering through the leaves. The closeness of all the trees and brush on the trails. Something you take for granted, makes me sick and ick. Once we leave the forest and enter the clearing to leave, the symptoms subside.
Same goes for crowded eateries, grocery stores (sometimes), big gatherings of people. I am supposed to go to a All School Alumni dance next month. I have a old girl friend as a date. I have got others going. It will be a big thing. I want to go. I bought tickets. I am scared shitless.

That is my life now.

Yeah...I am just a bunch of fun, huh?  Today is a okay day. I am gonna get some dinner stuff and make some cupcakes. Kid #2 will go with me to the store. 

Lemon cupcakes! Mmmm!
I will post recipe maybe if I think about it.