Bacon`s cookin up in the pan

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Bacon cooking and I am typing.....

  Last night was a weird night. I had my first ever mini panic attack while still awake. I think it is all the stress of what is going on with me. I just came downstairs, took an extra ativan and within the hour I was fine. I was feeling okay yesterday but I can tell today is not going to be as good. My eyes are a bit more blurry then usual, I have a head ache but in the front of my face if that can be considered a head ache. I can tell that this is going to be a high pressured/leaky head kind of day. Plus it is colder. I have no problem living in a house that is a bit nippy. I put on a sweater. But I have a couple prima donnas that think they are going to die if the temp in the house dips below 70. I pulled out one heater for the livingroom because we have company. I could pull out the one for the dining room but I KNOW that Chelsea will use it from now until April. She will take it from the spot where I put it to warm the whole room so that she can have it right next to her to keep her warm. It is a major pet peeve of mine. MAJOR! Makes my teeth click.

Milo and Ruby-Best Buds

Bacon done and in the warm oven...
  Even though I am not feeling too great today, I want to get something done around here. I THINK I am going to put some plastic on windows in the house this weekend. Most definitely in my room first. Then I want to cut down all the spent flowers out in the front of the house. Clean it all out, bag it and hope the garbage guys take them. They might not cause of budget cuts. I do not know if they changed the rules or not yet. Do not worry. I am not going to over do it. I may do one or two things and then collapse in the bed and watch more Supernatural. There are 8 season and I am only in the middle of Season 3. I have a long way to go.
  I know I have to be careful, because I notice that some activities make my nose drip or it goes down my throat. I can probably bet that it has gone down in my lungs and that is why I have this slight cough. Yup, shit is running down my throat as I type. Fucker!
So it is going to be one of those lazy Saturdays that shouldnt be. I should be doing stuff man. Not laying around the house watching tv. There is much to do. It is chilly! Time to clean the yard! Time to put plastic on the windows! It is time, man! I am trying to psych myself up. I think I can do my big assed window in my bedroom today. If I can do that, I will feel accomplished.
It is all about feeling like you did something. If all you did today was dust all the tables in the house, that is something! You were not a total bum. Sick or not, we all feel like we contributed in some way.

  I guess I should wrap this post up. Natalie just made scrambled eggs and toast. I am going to eat and then I am going to go upstairs and put that plastic on the window! I am determined.

Big Fat Fatty

This is Jolly Trixie

*273* <----I double checked. 272.

  I feel like a big fat fatty. 
  I know I know. I am not stupid. I know I already AM a big fat fatty but lately I have been feeling bloated. I have gained like 6 lbs and my pants feel a bit snug. I hate that feeling of being fat. Everyone gets it. Even the super skinny bitches that eat celery for lunch and juice for the rest of the day. It is hormones and other factors..yeah chocolate is a factor but this is not what I am totally talking about. You know when you put on your favorite pair of jeans and they just do not feel right. You feel awkward in them for the rest of the day. That is how I have been feeling. They fit but not like they used to.
So today I decided I am going to go back on the modified Atkins for a bit. Not forever! I just want to lose what I gained back and then get back on track. I have been eating crap with abandon and my blood sugars have shown it. Not good! This is going to be hard because I have some absolutely gorgeous loaves of bread in the house right now. I have a boule and a Italian loaf with everything spices on it. I am going to have to refrain.
I am frying bacon right now and I am going to make some eggs for breakfast. I am also going to hard boil some. I will need eggs and nuts to get me through this. A-Gran, You know what I am talking about. I am not gonna kill myself with hunger. I just need to *detox* myself of all that I have been doing. If I am on a healthier kick, it will last me when I go back to carbs again.
I say modified because I will still eat fruit and drink coffee. And when Fred wants to go for Vietnamese Pho, all bets are off.
 I do not know if I am going to tell Fred what I am doing. He will want to do it too but he will want ME to do all the work for both of us, and that just is not fair. That is why I think it failed the last time. He made me do all the work. All the cooking, prepwork, and shopping! He couldnt even be bothered to make the big salad for the fridge. I am not bashing my man, just stating facts. Plus, he lost weight faster then I did and that pissed me off!
So I want a head start. hehehe
Once he figures it out, I want to be at least 5 lbs ahead.

Bacon is done. Red onions are cooking on the stove. I will add the scrambled eggs and some cheddar cheese. And I have a whole dill pickle sliced for my veg this meal. I have to go to the store and buy salad stuff.
Anyone want to join me they can. I am not following any real low carb diet. I am just not eating potatoes, rice, pasta, bread, and anything else in that realm. I will give it a month and see how it goes.

Mmm! Still feel fat though

Bacon for Mother`s Day.

 

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That`s right. I got some bacon for Mother`s day. It was nice and crispy and made with love...by my husband. He and I went out to dinner last night for a pre-Mother`s day thing. I did not want to go out to eat today with all the grandmas with their Spring suits and corsages. So we snuck out last night, drove to Mystic, and had a nice Steak Loft steak. Yummy!

 So it is 953am and my darling daughters are still asleep. I have already washed some dishes and pans..to make it easier for Fred to cook our Mother`s Day breakfast. He called his Mother this morning and I have no idea what we are going to do today. I want some help with hanging a new smoke detector (ohhh so over the edge exciting!!!) or maybe we can finish priming our bedroom. We have not even come close to finishing that room. I want it to be done. 

   I was thinking about my Mother yesterday. She passed away 9 years ago at the age of 79 from complications of diabetes (type 2) and Parkinson`s disease.

  She was not a well woman for most of her adult life. She suffered from Bipolar disorder or back then it was called Manic Depression. It was unfortunate for her that she had to deal with that mental illness back in the 1950s-1970s. There was not much to offer in a way of help.

 So my childhood was not the best but I would not change a thing. It made me who I am. She took care of me. I was fed, clothed, cared for when ill, and brought up to adulthood. That is more then others can say. I knew she was not okay so I did not blame her.

I become sad on Mother`s Day. Not because I am forgotten or I did not get what I hoped for. It is just that I am 42 years old and I do not have a Mother. She is not there to answer questions.. "How long do you cook a 10 lb rump roast?" I have the same pain in the smart ass attitude that she had. The "I do not give a fuck what you think" way of living. I do care what people think but I can have days when I really do not give a fuck..hehehe

So today I am not going to give a fuck. It is MY day dammit. I am going to do and say whatever the hell I want to. Now I wonder what they got me for a gift????