Tuesday, January 31, 2017

There goes the other shoe

  Some major life changes have happened since I posted yesterday morning. I am just gonna say it because why act like everything is okay. Because it is not. Hubs was terminated from his job of 28 years yesterday. I will not get into specifics because it is going to be going through grievance and such with the union. Maybe later on I can say stuff but not now. I hope you all understand.

Yeah. So I am a tacky bitch and put up a Paypal button. Think what you want of me but a girl needs to make some money. There is no pressure for any of you to donate. Maybe some stray person will come looking at one of my posts and throw me a dollar. I am just covering all my bases. Hubs can file for unemployment while we wait to hear what happens. I am going to get out of my ebay/etsy hiatus and sell my shit that I gots to sell. I am also thinking I might have to go back to work. Just a thought. My sick ass at work would be hilarious. But if I have to do it, I will.
Tomorrow I will return the cable boxes and turn off the cable. Internet has to stay cause we need entertainment and I have to use it to sell all the stuff around here. I am in survival mode. I do not know how long it will last till we find out if he gets his job back, they throw money at him, or he finds another position someplace. All is too raw for me to speculate. This is virgin territory for us. 28 yrs at the same place. He is gonna need career counseling.
We will have no health insurance. I think we have a month on his insurance. I want to get a rush on my cervical MRI to just make sure it is not something bad. If it is just nerve impingement, I can look up the PT exercises online.

So yeah, our life right now is pretty bad. As low as it can get. I guess we can only go up from here. Oh, and I figured out how to add my Instagram back as I was adding the Paypal button. Little miracles.
I am gonna get off here because I will start to blather on. It will snow today. 2-4 inches. Lesser for us. I am going to make some soup today. I am going to sort through my minis and antique stuff today. I will probably take pictures too. I think I will figure out how to add etsy to here too.

Okay. Wish us luck! I will still be here. Maybe more frequent to stress cry. I need to meditate.

Monday, January 30, 2017

I am not talking politics..today

*223* <----I could be. I could be not. Whose to know?

  First off, I am not gonna talk politics on here. If something horrifically horrifically worse then what is going on happens. Say eminent nuclear destruction, assassinations, or national famine..I am keeping my opinions to myself. There is enough bad energy swirling around. We do not need me adding to it.

   Yesterday was the Hubs birthday. 51 is a very good year. He was feeling under the weather though. This weather takes a toll on you sometimes. Kid #2 and I shopped and cooked a big dinner. We treated it like a holiday as it should be. I made carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. And no, they were not LCHF/Keto. The meal was. The dessert was not. If was a beautiful day, he was/is loved, and I have a shit ton of dishes awaiting me after I finish this.
   I had two revelations this weekend. One is that popcorn in any form is a big no for me. When we went to the store, there was a chic handing out a free coupon with a bag  of something called Kernel Seasons Chrunchin Kernels Ranch flavor.  Basically they are flavored half popped popcorn kernels.  I have basically stayed away from popcorn since the cdiff. I might eat one or two stray pieces here or there with no problems. I wanted to see how it tasted. I am not exaggerating when I say that I ate probably a 1/2 to one full teaspoon of it.  It tasted good. I would highly recommend as a snack if you are not eating LCHF or if you have gut issues.  But if you are like me, stay the fuck away from them. It felt like nails going through my colon. I had to lay down for an hour while it worked it`s way out of me. I felt so sick. My gut is still sensitive today after the fact.
Revelation #1: Stay the hell away from popped corn in all forms. 

  I am not going to talk about why Hubs was sick cause that is none of our business. But it lasted for a couple days. It was unpleasant but he is much better this morning. I was trying to figure out what triggered it. The only thing that came to mind was our diet. We had been eating full fledged keto from May-November. Then it slowly flew off the rails. We still eat low carb high fat but not to the extent that we did before. We would cheat here and there. I think the woe that we were doing was helping him immensely. He did not suffer at all the whole time we were eating that way.  So yeah.
Revelation #2: Eating Keto is keeping us healthy. 

  I will just deal with the keto flu and the massive cravings to come. We are back on this WOE!  I packed his lunch this morning. He will have foods to eat while on the road. I have to go to the store to pick up cheeses because we are totally out. I have to hard boil some eggs too. I have been doing that all along but they will save me in the coming weeks. I am also going to make some fat bombs for the freezer. We have like 6 cupcakes left from yesterday. I am hoping that Kid #2 just brings them to work tonight. That would be ideal. They were faboo btw. I used Paula Dean`s recipe for both the cakes and the frosting. I cooked them for 35 minutes. Those are chopped pecans on top.

  Kid #2 has brought up a interesting proposition. She wants to start a YouTube channel with me. I want to research it all first. I will have to have the laptop my friend gave me worked over. You really need a good lappy to edit your videos. This Chromebook wont cut it. We could use our iPhones to record. She wants me to do cooking and mukbangs but with a keto twist. She wants to do her own mukbangs also. A mother daughter kind of thing. As you can see, I love to blog so I would be doing it cause I like to do it. If any followers or money comes with it, that would be great too.  I will let you all know if and when that happens. Mukbangs are gonna blow up in the Youtube world like they do in Korea. I love to watch them. Dont ask me why. I cannot explain it. It is not like a feeder thing. I like when they eat and talk. Kind of like you are sitting there with them. I also like ASMR but that is something totally different.  That video is of Keemi. I like her. She cooks, talks, and eats. I started watching her when she had a small following.

   I went to the neurosurgeon`s office last week. I saw his PCA.  He had a really good energy. I liked him. He listened to me. My lower back is arthritic. He could see my last surgery on my L5 S1. He used to work for the surgeon that did it. He said that my L4 L5 is not that great but he suggested that I go back to PT (yay!) and have the shots. I decided later that I am not doing the shots yet. I will do the PT and massage. If they do not help, I will try the shots. I told him about my neck hurting. My arms, hands, shoulders, etc. He wants me to have a MRI of my cervical. Then he does all the customary shit they do at an appointment. Heart beat, lungs, blood pressure, and pulse. He checks my pulse on my left hand, looks up at me and says *that is a weak pulse and your hands are cold*. He says I might have to see the vascular surgeon in the building. WHAT?? I asked if my low blood pressure be a reason too. He said yes. After much talk, we will wait till after my MRI is done. If I have to see the vascular guy, he will send me. Of course I googled that shit and I must be a fucking magician. I was thinking I had an issue with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome months ago. I talked about it to the massage therapist two weeks ago. I am not saying that I know that is what it is but who wants to bet me a $3 bill?  If it is just the nerves, I will learn how to hold my posture and techniques through PT. That is in like 95% of the cases. Very rare to have to see a vascular doctor about it. That would be if the area in question is impinging on your artery or veins. I am not gonna super worry about it.

  That is about it. It is Monday. I have to do laundry, water my plants, go buy cheese, and work on a little arts and crafts project. I have a wood octopus that I am painting. Yeah, I will share when it is done. I still have not figured out how to get the IG back on here. It is making me a little bit mad. My fishes are gone too. Grrrr.
I need a blogger guru, I tell ya.

Have a good week! Maybe some snow on Tuesday!

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Deactivate or Not Deactivate?


 That is the question of the day. I am struggling with possibly unplugging from Facebook for awhile. I spend way too much time on it and there is so much disgusting negativity. Not necessarily from my friends but their friends who like to leave troll like comments and think they are witty. They are not. I have been pretty surprised who many would probably love to meet The Donald and the model in person. That is far as I go with the political today. I feel like I need to protect myself from the negativity. It makes me feel gross and I dont like to feel that way on a daily basis. My dilemma is do I just stay away or actually deactivate. I have turned off notifications on my phone and my iPad for actual Facebook, which is nice. I feel that if I go complete cold turkey, I will fail.

   I left here, went to the grocery store, got a coffee, put everything away with the kid, and I am sitting down with an avocado, a pickle, and a big bowl of carrot tomato ginger red pepper soup puree. So good! I was given it on the day of my upper endoscopy and this is the last of it. So I will try to eat and type.

   The endoscopy was fine. I have the same erosive esophagitis (and duodenitis and gastritis) but it seems to be a little bit more. He did not need to stretch my esophagus open because there were no stricture. I will wait for the biopsy results like a good girl. I will probably have to take another zantac a day and something else while TRYING to stick to the no wheat, no eggs, no life meal plan. Everything is making me burp and feeling like I have to flush food or pills down with water on a regular is not fun. I love food. When I tend to cheat it is not hugely. Little bits here and there during the week. But those little bits are making it hard for me to lose weight. The more I lose, the better for me.
Yesterday I was presented with the opportunity to try little french macaroons.  *I do not have a picture of ours because we all gobbled them up before a good pic could be taken*. The ones I bought were very small, quarter sized. I chose the pistachio one and that was that. It was enough sugar to raise my bs up there. This is something I had always wanted to eat. I had one. I am happy I did. Next. So it is cheating like that. I either have to get over myself and these little food transgressions or....just get over myself.

   Tomorrow is a big day. We are having a Nor`easter. It is going to be an all rain event. But it will rain for two days and there will be wind. I hope our power stays on.  I will (hopefully) be getting my temporary MMJ card in email. I will have to call the dispensary to set up appt to have orientation and buy my first stuffs. I hear they have a nice lotion for rubbing on your aches and pains. I cannot wait for that. And I see the neurosurgeon here in my neck of the woods. I need an MRI of my neck and I want to get back to PT at some point. Crossing fingers that I have good experiences tomorrow.

Mmmm! Soup...

  I have been watching more Netflix lately. I have finished two tv show series so far. I really like Black Mirror and will be looking for new seasons. It gives you the right amount of creepy to make you uncomfortable but not so much that it is cringy. I really am a lover of Sci Fy. I finally finished The Magicians and I am told the new season starts at the end of this month. I always wanted to watch it but it was on late, my tv upstairs doesn't have a dvr, and I would fall asleep in the middle. So I never really knew if I really liked it. I really liked it! I have to see what show I want to watch next. I am trying to get into one of the Netflix Originals but I haven't decided which to dive into. I had really started to shy away from watching any tv series because my attention span sucked ass. It is still not the greatest but good enough to let me have some enjoyment. I guess watching all those YouTube videos helped out a lot.

It feels like Spring for reals. But it is still January. I have at least 2-2 1/2 months till I can really enjoy the kind of weather I crave. I have a literal shit ton of dishes waiting for me. SHIT TON! I have finished my soup, and my pickle. After I finish this, I will eat my avocado and get to working on that pile in there. Hubby is getting a massage right now so he will be no use to me for the rest of the day.

Signing off till next week. Have a good one.

Monday, January 16, 2017

MLK Jr Birthday and Housework


  I am still getting used to the fact that I have a new keyboard. I have been conditioned for so many years to use the mouse to paste the letters that I forgot what keyboard freedom was like. I just went with the flow. I realized that I never do for myself that much when I should. I will be more aware that sometimes, I deserved a new computer!

   It is a holiday Monday so the Man is home to hang out. He has already started some housework. He washed down the stairs and they smell lovely. We are going to shampoo the carpets upstairs and I am going to do a thorough scrubbing of the upstairs bathroom. Under the sink type of stuff. I like when he has the day off because I get some help with bigger stuff to do. One thing is I have a ugly purple ottoman that I won from a contest that needs to go. It is up at the top of the stairs. I also have alot of art posters that have been sitting in the same spot for over a year. They have to be gone through. I will keep some. Get rid of others. I want new stuff on the walls when I paint. It will be a busy and productive day with some meatloaf at the end.

   I had my very first massage last week. I found out later that it was a deep tissue massage. I know this because I was in agony for two days afterward. I felt like my back and neck had run a marathon. WTF! But I feel better somewhat. I will see her again in a month. That is about all I can afford at this time. Kid #2 has offered to pay half the cable bill every month so that little extra cash will go toward two massages a month for me and the man. She is a social worker plus she is also very metaphysical is that completely explains it. She told me something I kind of already knew about myself but never owned it. I am a empath. This is why I suffer so much physically. I take on every persons feelings, emotions, and energies. This is why I am good at clearing a place for people. Meaning..is this new apartment I am about to rent full of negative energy or evil spirit? I feel weird in places that just do not have good intentions and I always remember those places. The evilness that I felt is printed on my brain. It only has happened a few times in my life. She does alot for you and charges so little for it. It is truly worth it. It is like I had a good therapy session on top of a deep tissue massage and a cranio massage. I can see me going to her on a regular basis. Maybe I will get in touch with what I am in this world.

  It wouldn't be a blog post without a bullshit piece of medical stuff, am I right? I called the gastro and got into the office right away on Friday. I am having issues with swallowing and temporary impacting of food/pills in my esophagus. This has been going on for about 6 months to a year. Maybe longer but I never really paid attention to it. It would happen rarely. You know how you would swallow a pill the wrong way and it would get stuck. You would flush with water and all would be good. Or you took a too big of a bite of food that you did not chew well..same thing. It has been happening more frequently. It is not every day but it is definitely not rare anymore. Friday scared me. My pills kept getting stuck in my chest right below my throat. Then I ate some breakfast and the same thing happened. I ate a piece of cheese and it took awhile of drinking water to make it go down. I am having a upper endoscopy on Thursday. He told me to chew chew chew my food. Eat soft foods. If anything get stuck and I cannot make it go down, I have to go to the ER.  He said that it could be a yeast infection but who knows. I have had a bunch of ideas thrown at me about it but I have symptoms for all of these things and not of others. I cannot pin point and say..It is that! So I will wait for the endo and see what he finds.

  Otherwise, except for my regular old pains that I have (storm brewing?) I am feeling good. My mood is good. My body has a bit of energy today. I am not feeling pissy or bitchy at all. I like days like today. Make me feel like my old self. I am not worried about the upper endo cause I have done it before. Easy Peasy. I am just going to live my life, have the procedure, find out what he sees, and proceed with life.
  Is it Spring yet? We had some really warm days last week. Like in the lower 50 deg f range. It teased me. It made me think of planting. It made me think of warm sunshine. I was ready honey.  Then it crashed into the 30s and it snow. Boo!

 Okay, I am still in my sleep clothes. I have to get dressed. Need to go out and rent a steam cleaner. One of these days we will just buy one. One of these days. I hope you have a wonderful week and a sunshine filled holiday Monday.

Monday, January 9, 2017

24 years of wedded bliss

*222* <--stuck there for a couple weeks

 **I have had a issue with the app for Instagram on here. I have tried to figure out how to get it back on but it hasn't worked. I will not give up but just not in the mood to fiddle with that shit right now**

   Today is our 24th wedding anniversary. I have sauce cooking while Italian sausages are braising in it. There are two small spaghetti squashes roasting in the oven. Those are for hubby and I. The girls will eat spaghetti. I have not made sauce in awhile and I was in the mood. Wedding anniversary is just as good a time as any.

    I am on the new laptop. It is actually a Samsung Chromebook. It is much smaller then what I had before so it has taken me a few days to get used to it. Do you know I still act like I dont have a letter N sometimes? Look at that capital N. Isnt she the sweetest thing you ever did see? I have transferred over all of my bookmarks and photos that I wanted to save. The clunker is sitting on the table, awaiting it`s fate. I have to figure out how to pry it open to get pull out all the pieces. There is alot of information on that hunk of junk that I do not want anyone getting ahold of. All and all, it is a really nice little computer. It gives me what I need and I have not sworn at it once. It took less then 2 minutes to set it up. That is crazy. Remember when you would get a new computer and it would take a solid hour to get it set up? That included getting the internet working. Times sure have changed.

 We did get some snow for Saturday into Sunday. I would say it was about 6-7" max. It was a very light fluffy snow so it was easy to shovel. I drove around in it the next day in the Jeepo without much trouble at all. The city sanded the hill so I have no worries at this point. It will jack up to the 50s later this week and we might get another storm on Saturday. Hopefully it is just rain. Only two months and 11 days until the first day of Spring, so says Alexa. I ordered a couple blueberry bushes through our community garden. I am HOPING to have garden beds in front of the house this year. HOPE HOPE HOPE!

      Yes, I did shovel. It is weird how my back and sciatica have been. Just really weird. I could feel like I am losing my grips with my lower half of my body and sometimes my arms and hands at the same time. Then it is like all is right with the world. I cannot explain it. I do still have lower back pain. Right now most of my pain is really low like my tailbone. But there has been no sciatica in either leg. No spasms. No awful electric shocks. Not a damn thing. I am not dumb. I know it hasnt gone away. It is still there, waiting to make me suffer once again. But for some reason, I get these *arthritic* reprieves. I guess I could dig into the internet and try to figure it out if I really wanted to.  I see the local neurosurgeon at the end of this month so I hope to get some answers.
Beef bone broth
I made this over the weekend during the snow too. My first batch of bone broth. I am so Martha Stewart right about now. This is the recipe for it.  I used bone marrow bones only this time around. I think the next time I do it, I will use marrow and oxtail bones. You can do this with pork bones, chicken bones, and fish bones too. You just roast whatever, eat the meat, and use the bones to simmer for hours and hours with veggies and such. This made it to the 12 hour mark. Somebody turned it off in the night so I did not get to do the full 24 hours. I told them the next time not to touch the heat. It tastes really really good. Now, it is not salted. It is bland as fuck but that is what broth/stock is supposed to be. This is something to use for making soups or just drinking a hot cup (with a bit of salt added). I put them in the freezer. I have to get over my fear of the pressure cooker. I could totally can these so that they can go in the cabinet. I will do some major research before I do it. I cannot believe I have never done this before.

  Okay, I just whizzed this post thru in no time. That is what happens when you have a proper keyboard. You do not feel like murdering your Dell cause it keeps deleting your thoughts. I have to go now anyhoo. Kid #2 will be done with work soon. I have to go out in the dark cold night to fight her. Then I will come home to try on my first pair of Lularoe leggings. Yes, I fell into the LuLa hole. These are what I got. Arent they sweet?
Have a great week! Try to make a snow angel if you get a chance!


Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Forty Eight Years


   It is 1pm and I am still in my jammies. The impending temperature change from 50 today to the 30s tomorrow is giving me body issues which in turn makes me moody. I will be okay. I just have to roll with it. We are forecasted for some snow possibly on Friday, my birthday. And possibly more Saturday evening into Sunday. We shall see. It almost always snows on my birthday so I have just learned to live with it. I have a recipe for my cake. It is a chocolate brownie cheesecake that is LCHF. I bought all the ingredients for it. Cheesecakes are easy to make for this way of eating. I am not in the mood for dealing with different leavening shit.
Ok. I let the dogs out and I went upstairs to change my clothes. It is progress. It would have been way better if I took a shower, washed my hair, washed my face (toner and moisturize) and brushed my teeth but a depressed girl could only do so much. I am body depressed basically if that means anything. The barometric pressure changes, my wacked out hormones, and at the tail end of a nasty head cold has wiped me out physically. Part of me knows I should just lay on the couch and watch streamed tv shows but the other part of me sees that the kitchen needs cleaning. It is a sick bitch balance.

   Let me share this recipe here before I forget. It is Egg Roll in a Bowl.  I made this the other night and everyone LOVED it. I used shredded rotisserie chicken instead of pork. I also added some shredded purple cabbage, a teaspoon of sesame oil, and sriracha to taste. So good and low low carb. I am having some leftovers for lunch now. If you have ever eaten crack slaw, it is like that. I love crack slaw too. Mmmm! Give it a try even if you dont eat the way I do.

  Speaking of eating the way I do, I am a fucking keto loser. I keep eating crap. I ate bread the other day. I dont eat bread! I am all bloated and that is also making me feel shitty. I have to declare it here for posterity. I will deal with the keto flu! I will start eating correct for my health starting right now at 130pm. I will stop eating carbage that is not good for my diabetes! It is so easy to slowly slip back into my food addictions. I knew that the holidays would ruin how well I was doing. A little bite here. A lots of bites there. I have maintained my weight loss but I am back to being bloated from the grains. I am totally not gonna make excuses or concessions. It will take a good week of strict eating to stomp the cravings down. I have to do this so that I can live a long life. ROAR!!

*i am back on track cause i gotta be*

 I bought myself a birthday pressie this week. I had a $25 discount on Amazon (one of my freebies. So I bought a Echo Dot and a speaker to listen to music from it. I love Alexa! I know people do not like the idea of having a microphone in their house. I love it. It plays my music. It tells me the weather. I am a happy birthday girl. I am also getting something else for my birthday. Kid #2 bought me a new lappy! It is coming in the mail tomorrow. This will be my last post with this disgusting Dell with the missing letter n.

    We are supposed to go out to lunch and dinner for my birthday on Friday also but we shall see how the weather holds up. Hubby wants to take me to David Burke`s Prime for lunch. That is some snazzy eating. I will have to be strong though. There will be no frites with my steak!

  This leftover eggroll in a bowl is actually lifting my mood a little bit. It isnt helping with my pain but you cannot have everything. If you make it, let me know if you liked it. I used a whole chicken shredded, a whole bag of coleslaw, and half a bag of shredded red cabbage. I doubled all the other ingredients.

That is all for today. I have some stuff to share the  next time I post. I have started the ball rolling for something.