The snow didn't get me

*225*

  I am on the iPad this afternoon. Blogger won't let me download a new photo on here at all.  I had to use what I had available and all the photos are from like 2011. This is Oliver and Milo (ginger kitty) from Summer 2011. Milo was a baby boy and Oli was a year older. They are still thick as thieves. Perfectly fine picture for this Sunday blog post.

  I am have been down. I have been busy. I have been trying to figure shit out. I  did a lot and that is why a post last week was not in the cards. I filed for full Medicare. That new card should come in another week. The job gave him the option to resign, with a severance, and insurance till the end of March. I can breath a little bit. Tuesday he can cash out the retirement. I have paperwork from unemployment to fill out. I also sent in paperwork for me to possible get job training,

  Oh wow! I have some exciting news!! So last week I did my resume and cover letter for a position as customer service rep (over the computer) some place. On this Wednesday, I handed in those and a application. I asked my higher power to help me with this. Give me a chance. That is all that I ask. Three hours later, the hiring manager called. She gave me a telephone interview. I think I did pretty good. I was able to answer without stumbling. She said it will be a couple weeks before they decide who will get formal interviews. I will hear either way. I asked for it and I was given a chance. If that is as far as it goes with this company, I am okay with that.  I have been thinking about this for a year. I think it took this turning point in life to give me the push that I needed. It starts off at $10.50/hr but full benefits. That is important. I will let you all know.

  I am doing okay surprisingly. I have a real feeling of calm about the whole thing, you would think I would be a massive wreck, but I am not.  Don't get me wrong, I have my moments. I have stayed off social media pretty much cause I am not telling anybody anything and all their mundane life stuff is making me sad. We will be okay. He will get unemployment and he will look for a job. I will look for work. I have my social security. And we have the 401k. Some people think we are crazy but most understand. We don't want to be in a situation where there is no money for something,

  Thursday we had a blizzard. I did not measure but I heard we got between 14-16 inches. Saturday it snowed another two and today it snowed another two (just for us) but now it is raining so a nice layer of ice on top. We went out at 9am before the snow and got some stuff done. We are all safe and sound in the house till tomorrow. A plus about him not working is I don't have to worry to death that he is out in that small car, on the highway, in a snow storm, to go pick up stats and cultures, and such. We all snuggled in.  We were told that we would get our winter. Boy did we get it.

   I cannot eat Girl Scout cookie Samoas. I wondered why my gut was in so much pain yesterday.  And still today. I finally realized it was the coconut on the cookie. I had like 4 of them and that was 4 too many. Let's just say I need to stay close to home. I have been eating all the wrong things. I have said fuck it all over the place with sugar, wheat, grains, and potatoes. I have to detox myself and I have to fight the urges. Back on track. No more crap. Tonight I am making kielbasa, mashed cauliflower, and a fancy salad with chopped bacon and blue cheese crumbles added in. I wanted a nice fancy stick of sausage this week. The girls are like ewww but Hubs and I cannot wait,

  Did I tell you that I found out I am a highly intuitive Empath? I could go back and look the past month of blogs because honestly, I cannot remember.  I am going to talk more about this from time  to time. A major life can of worms has been opened for me. I have found out many things that some may totally agree with and others will just say I am crazy. Once you have been told this, you start to search out your truths. You get answers to some life long questions about yourself. I found out that I am a Indigo Child  (adult). I am highly sensitive to my surroundings and other people. So much for me to learn. I have to go to the mystical shop and buy myself a tourmaline stone to help protect me. I need to learn a lot. This is all I am going to say about this for now. If you are a empath, why not give me a shout out.

  I am done for now. I am gonna take a nap, if my colon allows me too. I will be back to my regularly scheduled programming. I am done being pitiful for now. I hope you all have a great week and no more snow!

Svelte is the way to be

Dovima

*231*

   It will hard to be positive with this post. The only thing good I can say about my two endoscopies is that he didnt see anything that would make him think cancer. Which I am thankful for. I was told as per procedure, I have to wait for the card to come in the mail with my results. That will either be Friday-Monday. He wants to see me. He said to call after I get the card to make appointment so we can talk. Yup.
 The nurse that was attending me was reading the instructions and such and told me what his initial findings were. It said ulcerative esophagitis and colitis. I stopped her. Do you mean colitis as in inflammatory bowel diseases? She gave me a look and said to wait for the biopsy results. He took biospies from everywhere. If you have a IBD, the biopsy can tell them so.
  On top of everything else, I have either Crohn`s disease or Ulcerative Colitis. I am thinking it is the CD. I have what you would call Gastroduodenal Crohn`s..I am guessing from my symptoms.
I had a small introduction into it from the Gastro`s np. So I am not totally surprised and I am not freaking out. It is just another nail in my coffin. That is all. For some reason, the cosmo`s want me to suffer. There is not a part on my body that is not suffering. What am I supposed to do? Cry about it? I probably will later.
  But for now I am just going to live my life. And save up for a plastic surgeon cause as I lose weight, the skin will continue to sag. I will only look like Dovima with a body shaper to squish all the excess skin. My two besties were shocked at my appearance. You could read it on their faces. I have dropped some major stomach inches.

  We finally got some snow. Two big storms a week apart. It is a cold and wet wonderland out there. I did slide on my butt while brushing off the car. I ha a good laugh to myself. I was okay. There is going to be 1-2 inches falling every day for the next couple days. And then a major freeze. Ugh.
 Kid #1 turns 27 yrs old on Monday. I am going to make her a cheese cake with strawberry sauce. Her favorite. That is my gift to her. I didnt get a birthday gift this year from anyone so I will do my best to treat them as they have treated me. I will celebrate their day but I wont buy a gift.

 

Arent these gorg? I have to find a place to get river rocks either free or cheap. This has to be done for my house garden. Here is the link if you want to do it too. I could see those all over my raised beds outside. Oh yes, the raised beds are going to happen. That is one thing that is going to happen, the raised beds out front with a cute fence to keep people away, kinda sorta.  I want to be able to go out in my slippers to water and weed!

BRB D.O.G. wants out again...ugh.

I saw this on FB the other day. My Aunt made this once when her family came to visit mine when I was a kid. It is funny the things you remember. I posted it on her wall. She is in her 80s. She and her daughter (my cousin) were laughing. The grand daughter makes it all the time. She passed it down like I will pass down my bon bons.

I really need to find someone or someplace that can help me organize a big binder full of everything they will  need to know when I am not here. Passwords, banking, account numbers, how much things have to be paid and when, recipes. All of it. I have to do it for my own peace of mind.. Wow that got sad real quick...sorry about that.
I have dishes to do and they are screaming to get done. I hope you are having a delightful February so far.

Groundhog day is a-coming

*233*

 Tomorrow is the big day. Will we see 6 more weeks of temps in the 40s?? We have had such a non winter this year. I am loving it. I am one of the primary shovelers in the house and I am just not in the mood. We could get slammed. It could happen! This whole week will be in the 40s-50s (almost 60 deg f today) so if it is gonna happen, it should be soon.

   My sort of resolution is working out pretty good so far. I decided since I almost died, I am gonna do what I want and say what I want. I am making myself be positive because nobody..especially me..wants to hear the downs all the time. Look. My physical life sucks ass. (more on that) and we all know it. Part of me thinks I dont have long on this Earth. So I am going to try to be happy, get my affairs in order, pay off outstanding debt, sell off my miniatures, teach the girls my secrets, and make a book for them so they will know everything. Insurance, bills, passwords...the whole shit show!  I am going to stop putting off stuff so I can be happy.

  Today I had a mammo. Just routine. I have to wait till my GP gets the results. Then he can schedule a ultrasound. My boobs are super dense even for my age. Cancer can hide in there so having the extra scan must be done. Then next Monday I will have my upper endo and colonoscopy. They gotta see what is going on with my whole gut. Lots of issues that I will share if they find anything. Like I said, trying to keep it positive. 

  I have two recipes that I wanted to share with you. One I have made this weekend and one I am making today.

The first is a pasta dish. It is called Chicken and Bacon Pasta with Spinach and Tomatoes in a Garlic cream sauce. That is a mouthful of a title! The only thing I changed was replaced the cut up tomatoes with a can of crushed. This recipe is a KEEPER! We all liked it and there were no leftovers.

The 2nd recipe is a rice dish. It is called Salsa Chicken Casserole. I am making this today. It looks oh so good. We usually do tacos on Monday so this is a good change. I am changing it a smidge. I took half a jar of salsa and a can of enchilada sauce and pureed it in the blender. That will replace the just salsa portion. And the chicken has been marinating in a dry rub of cumin, coriander, cayenne, paprika, chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and crushed black pepper.. I think it should have more then just an afterthought off salt and pepper.
I will make corn bread to go with this. Sounds good, huh?

  I have been selling off all my full scale miniatures. I decided it was okay to do that this past Fall. I discussed it with my therapist. I started off small. I am now just going for it. I have a few really nice 1/2 scale kits that a dear friend gave me. Part of the money will be used to buy 1/2 scale furniture and fixtures for those houses. My house is just too small for the bigger houses of my childhood dreams. If I died tomorrow, the Hubs would have chucked all the minis in the trash. That is alot of money spent. So I am selling them and giving stuff away. Clear the decks of all things unwanted and unloved.

That is about it. I wish it was Spring so I could plant but it isnt. Two more months to go!

End of Winter?

R.I.P.

*253*

  Eating pickle spears and sweet pickled peppers

I am in a better mood today. But this post will be short. I will explain in a bit. I had a meltdown yesterday but after some talk with Hubs, I realized I have alot on my mind. Too much really. I will be okay in that realm.


  It is gonna snow tomorrow afternoon. I am not even gonna bitch about it. 4-8 inches. Yup. 

Taxes. I may do them tomorrow. I may not. We shall see. We will owe so I am avoiding like the plague.

 I could just lay around and watch Hulu Plus or try to read 50 shades of Grey again. I fell asleep two chapters in. Jane Eyre is better and she never makes me fall asleep. That says something about that book. 

 I have been trying to keep my stress eating down to a minimum and eat healthy things. Today it was a handful of ginger snaps, 5 Doritos chips (kid had control of my portion), and those pickles that are mentioned up top. But I also have a box of Russel Stover Chocolates in the cabinet.

My symptoms have gotten worse this past week. They are not WORSE but they are slowly ramping up. My hands are giving me trouble. My legs are heavy and a bit weaker. My neck hurts all the time. It gives me headaches. It makes my shoulders and collar bone hurt. And I had a scary thing happen today. I had a electric shock cattle prod thing on the right side of my head. I remember those from when my L5 was bad. But it was in my back. Having in head sucks major.

It looks like a herniated cervical disc would be the best option at this point. I have read about Spinal Stenosis with Myelopathy. If that isnt me, then I am a monkey`s auntie.  March 21 isnt coming fast enough. Stupid tattoo that I really like. LOL



Yeah.....

Speaking of Aunties, you should check out Auntie Fee. She has a Facebook page but I like to just go to her Youtube videos. She swears but she is funny and she cooks. She cooks for people that have very little money. I repeat. She swears. Quite alot. The guy behind the camera is her son, Tavis. He gets her riled up so easy. It makes us laugh. But I learned some new ways of cooking old favorites. 

The kid just gave me 3 tiny pizza bagels. The eating continues.

Winter Blahs

*250* <---back on track!

   I have been in a winter coma. With all the snow we have gotten this month, I was not doing much else but making scarves and resting up till the next storm. We are due for one on Tuesday. This morning the temp is -6 deg F. The dog went out. The dog came back. It is brickety brick brick brick outside.  People not from this part of new england thinks we should just shut up about it all. It is winter. Yes bitch, it IS winter. But Connecticut doesn't get it like the extreme north. This aint Mount Mckinley. We get smaller 1-3 inch storms with maybe 1 big one all season. Blizzards are rare. Minus 0 temps even more so. So I will complain all I want to!

This morning at 7am

   My friend is gonna need back surgery. I am going to be there to help her. I have to build some muscle up. Good thing I didn't cancel gym membership. My feet are not right but I can do the bikes and all the other stuff. I cant distance walk but I can do 20 mins on the treadmill. I have to build up my arms, legs, and back so that I can help her maneuver as she heals. It will be hard but this is why I am thinking ahead. I am hoping she will get some help from her daughter and daughter`s partner too. I will go over there today to clean house and make some chicken soup.

  Hubs foot is healing. He is still in pain but it is a bit less. I am glad for that. He has been compliant with the boot and hopefully back to work very soon. He is bored as hell.



   I worry as usual. Taxes. Bills. Oil. Taxes. Car registrations. Taxes. Bills. Etc. Winter is just plain expensive. I worry about friends and family that are in financial burdens which I cannot help with.

Maybe I need to look into Yoga or meditation. I have to keep my thoughts positive. If I am positive, I wont stress eat chocolate.  hehehehe

Furnace is lovely. Keeping the house warm. I will have to buy oil probably this coming week because of the cold temps. We would have lost the house if we didnt get the furnace replaced. I am so thankful for that.
This is a choppy and sporadic post. I know. I have to get moving for a appt but I wanted to check in. I will do a proper post later on. Smack me if I forget!

Just another snowball Monday

*246* <---period is coming

 It is snowing again, dear readers. It started off that it was just going to be a dusting. Now we should get about 6 inches of the wet stuff. I had an appointment with the vascular surgeon today but that would be too treacherous of a drive. So they rescheduled me for Valentine`s Day.  It is kinda of good because my gut is feeling kinda shitty. I had a no-no food yesterday. The girls and I went to the annual sale at the Book Barn.  We all got some nice books on a warm gloomy Sunday. Then we went across the street to have Mexican. I had a chorizo gordita. Yes. I ate spicy sausage with peppers AND a soft pillow of loveliness that is a tortilla. It was oh so good! I am paying for it now. No liver pain just in the gut. I will eat light today.
 The snow is coming down at a steady clip...

  I was able to get some choice cookbooks. One called Chipolte..spicy! A salad as main courses one. Plus an Atkins low carb one, that I am using just for the recipes. . I also bought a Oct. 2013 issue o Vegetarian Times for $1. There are some good recipes in that one too. I am thinking of doing butternut squash soup in the crockpot, plus turkey kielbasa with rice and pigeon peas. I was supposed to make them this weekend but others wanted other things. Today I cook what I want. I can only eat a servings spoon of the rice so I will have salad but I wanted to make it. I will probably do it early because the Man has to work tonight. He will need sustenance.

 I had a good appointment with the sleep dr. I am insurance compliant, I am feeling good, and I do not have to see him for six months. Yay! Now let`s hope the appointment with the surgeon goes just as well. You all will roll your eyes but I just have to say that I am afraid. Lumps on the back of your thigh that grow are serious shit. Serious. It could be nothing like a fat blob (lipoma), or it could be something malignant. Those are the two ends of the spectrum. I am nervous. I dont want to deal with anymore. I think I have had my full of the bullshit.

Oh well. I need to get moving. I am doing laundry and I need to start the rice and the soup.
Happy Snow Day!