I feel like poop

*270*

   It started yesterday. Everything that I eat gives me pain and then I am nauseated all damn day. Even a Edy`s strawberry ice pop (the kind with the strawberries in it) made me want to vomit. I called my regular dr office, left a message. They called right back and said that I am on the list to be called by the new gastro office today. I hope they do not make me wait a long time to be seen. Today would be nice. I will need to take a shower first but I could definitely go today.
I came thisclose to going to the ER last night. I was waiting for the excruciating pain that would signal *your ass really needs to be seen* but it never came. Just an entire day of being uncomfortable and sick. Same as today. I think I will stick with dry toast for the rest of the day.

I cannot figure out why my blogger will not let me put this picture under the text over there so I am just gonna leave it cause at this point, I do not give a fuck. That is one of my first (at home) cucumbers. There are a bunch of little ones growing but this is the first biggun. Isnt she cute? I have a couple in the fridge from the community garden that are way too big. We are kind of neglecting that space. We go and check but not on a regular. I think this is my last year there. I will dig up my strawberry plants from the bed, bring the home to transplant and that will be that. I just do not have reason to drive all the way over there. I want to garden at home instead. Plus the community garden is overrun by bugs that I cannot fight because we cannot use pesticides (glad about that) and there are just TOO many.

  Okay, I am getting off here now. I am going to take an Advil or three and go lay down on the couch.
FUCK!

I am melting! Melting!!!

*263*

  It has hot as Satan`s butthole out there this week. When they said we were gonna have a heatwave, they were not shitting us. Yesterday it was so hot that the air conditioner in the living room tapped out. I have to go out later and pick up some thumb tacks. I am going to go ghetto style, put a sheet up between the living and dining rooms and the AC will be happy again, hopefully. It worked fine last night because it was not a fucking hot.

  Here at the house we have some hits and some misses in the gardening. The cucumbers are taking off ever since it warmed up. I have like 8 cuke preemies on one plant already! I am excited! The japanese eggplants are not doing so well..one is growing but no flowers yet, the other one is a dud. I have a couple heirloom tomato plants that I planted and I probably should have just thrown them away. They were stressed from the beginning and they just sit there, doing nothing. My cherry tomato plants are HUGE! My other heirloom plant is HUGE! I have great basil growing but something is eating the leaves..slugs maybe. And I have a hot pepper plant that is giving forth lots of peppers. This is just what I have growing here at the house. And I dont even have my raised beds yet. Just wait till I have my raised beds! It will be monumental! I will be a growing maniac. The plants are the community garden are doing well also. We have okra growing, tomatoes, a baby watermelon, and some cucumbers there also. Too hot to tend to the gardens there. We had some rain so they are good until tomorrow. I will either go in the early morning or in the evening.

I really need to step up my strawberry buying. They are on sale now at one of the local grocery stores. I need at least a few more bags of them. Then I have to buy my sugar, jars, pectin, and some jalapenos for the hot ones. I want to make at least 15 regular for the house and then whatever is extra will be given or sold. I am NOT giving away any of the 15. I do it all the time and then I screw the family over because it is like February and there is no jam to speak of. I wish I had the fortitude to can other things but I do not. Maybe with the raised beds, I will have a better opportunity to plant more and then I can can my goods.

Ugh..I need to go out now and it is hot hot hot. Wishing for October!

Annual planting and other shit

Mexican heather

*263*

Is that a sweet Mexican heather  plant? I went to Lowe`s yesterday to get a steam cleaner for the carpets and I decided to pick up a couple annuals for the pots on the front porch. One of the four new guinea impatiens just died so the pot had sat empty for a couple weeks. I just bought one of these and put it in the pot. I want to see what happens. I do not mind if I have a one off on the porch. I also picked up some Moss roses for the cone hangers. I am glad I got that done before the July 1st. I feel like I have been behind in so many things.
I think I know why.
 As I said before about the dripping out of the nose at night, I am also starting to get all foggy and cognitively fucked up. I went to the DMV on Friday because I had to pay the registration on the Jeep cause she was an illegal beagle. It was near closing time so I knew it would not be a ton of time for me to wait. I felt like such shit. I realized as I sat there that it was all the stimulation going on in the room. The noises, the talking, the people walking around, the lights, the intercom..I was so close to feeling like I was going to lose my shit. Before when this would happen, i would go lay down and it would go away. I could not do that this time. But I survived and the Jeepo is legal now. The taxes here have gotten so high that I had to pay off in installments. tsk tsk.
  So for my health, I am feeling like shit. I try to get some things done so that I can say I accomplished stuff but I cannot do like I was doing before. I cut the dogs hair, I picked up lunch for the kid, I planted, and then after I watered, I swept the front porch. There! I am done! He thinks I am cooking dinner. That is not going to happen. No way. I feel like dog shit.

 Now do not scold me...well nobody will be do not do it on the other side of the screen. I will call the ENT office in all good time. I have to get the brakes fixed on the Jeep (yes, her ass decided she needs new brakes now), I  have a sleep study coming up for my sleep apnea and THEN I will call the ENT about the ears ringing again and all that crap. The part that I hate the most is the dizziness has come back and that was one of the things I was so happy to get rid of.

Fourth of July is coming upon us this week and then next weekend is Sailfest. Summer is moving swift. Before we know it, it will be Autumn. I need to really move my savings up for the coming colder months. I want to have a good Christmas this year and I want to have oil in the tank at all times. I am just talking a blue streak huh?
Oh and we are dealing with fleas finally. Took them awhile but they have arrived. I will have the cash to get the dogs some flea treatments on Tuesday. The cats will have to wait until Friday. They do not complain as much as the dogs do.

Okay...I am done for now. I feel like I need to get into some jammie clothes and lay down for the rest of the day. Sucks. I could have done so much.

Have a great rest of your Sunday!

Summer Summer Summertime

*262*

   It is finally summer. It is starting to heat up a bit but not heatwave territory. As long as I do not have to turn on the AC THAT much, I am good. Yesterday I finally planted all the cherry tomato plants in pots. I also bought an heirloom tomato and I dug up another heirloom tomato that was not doing well in the ground. This is why I want the raised beds. I can control the food of the soil without breaking my back or the bank. There were a bunch of plants at the community garden up for the taking and the majority of them were sad and close to death. I took one thyme plant that did not look like it was about to kick it. It is on the front porch in a smaller clay pot. I hope it does well like the basil is. Pretty soon my ass will be sweating from canning jams and jellies. I am definitely going to do a peach pineapple and another one I want to try is a pineapple habanero jam. Not super hot but a little hotter than the strawberry jalapeno.
  We have been doing extensive cleaning around here. Like wiping down baseboards and window sills. Lemon scented cleaning. I love it! I am tired of the hiding places of my home being dirty. Time to peel back the layers, suck up the dust bunnies, and wipe it down clean. Now that hubby has been sleeping better, he has more energy. I on the other hand feel like dog shit. Very tired all the time. But that is my life now. I think the summer heat saps me. I would love to go traipsing off to a yard sale binge or picking strawberries or being out in the middle of the state getting some food and just exploring in the Jeep. We have not done that since we got our cat MonsterFace (who has passed). That has to be almost 10 years. There is nothing nicer than a long drive out into the country. You know where you are but you really dont. . That is what I miss. I think I will try to capture some of that this summer. Go drive a half an hour out just to have ice cream and sunflowers. Drive an hour to get locally brewed Birch beer from the birch trees in their backyard.
Yeah..those plans are going to be made.

As for today..My plan is to finish cleaning the kitchen and  making a nice big dinner. We are going to have BBQ ribs, corn on the cob and tater tots. The tots are my compromise because I would rather have potato salad. One day I will get my wish! LOL

Moody Patooty

*261*

   Yeah, I am a bit moody lately. I have so much going on and I do not have an outlet, like cigarettes or a big bowl of fucking ice cream. I am paying bills on top of bills. One kid is moving away but has not even started to think about what she is going to do with all her shit. The other kid is moody just like me so we clash like stripes and plaid. The man is moody because of lack of sleep but that is being rectified.
And I am itchy again! I figured out that it is probably some allergy to something and when I take an allergy pill, they go away. I dont have to take the pill every single day just on the days I wake up like I want to rip my skin off with my stubby nails. And it is everywhere. But that is okay..I took the pill about an hour ago and it is already working it`s magic.

  Both girls are *almost* away for the weekend. The youngest went to Philly to visit her friend, and the oldest is leaving shortly to stay at a friends house in state but out of town.
We got the house to ourselves!!!!  Yesterday, I spent most of the evening cleaning in the kitchen. I think once I am done here, I will slap on some sunscreen and go dig up the spiderwort in the front yard. It is taking over and they are in the way of where my raised beds are going to go. I am going to try to gently dig up the ones with unusual colors like I have a pink one and I have a white one. Very unusual. I want to save those and plant them up top in the shade where they belong. There are plenty up there now so the rest can go in the garden bags. That is the extent of my life. Everything is doing okay except for a little bit of water in the basement, a broken washing machine, car registrations are due, and I am itchy.  I can admit that isnt half bad since the shitty year we had in 2012.


Vietnamese Pho for dinner is on tap. And I am not as itchy so I am off to go dig. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Here comes to wind!

*261*

  It was hot for a few days but then it went right back to the cool breezes and cool nights just like before. The garden loves it. The dogs love it. And I love it. I know it wont stay like this but it is nice to dream. Looks like Tropical Storm Andrea is going to be skirting us this Saturday. Oh Joy! I hope this is not a predictor of where future storms are going to hit. I think this global warming could make living in CT/NY/RI/MA suck major most of the time. Not only will we get the snow in the winter, now we will get buried in storms in the summer. I will hope and pray it does not get bad for us.

  I wanted to give a shout out to a site that I frequent on Facebook. It is called Heavenly Steals. It is one of those sites that post deals, coupons, freebies, and contests. I was never into that sort of thing before. I think I stumbled upon her when I was looking for good coupon sites. For the past 6 months or so, I have gotten some excellent things. Dog leash, Free magazine subscriptions,  pedometer, bbq lighter, t-shirts,  samples of anything and everything, free shampoo coupons, free hair color, and the list goes on and on.  I thought I would share because I know a couple of you are like me and could use a deal. Plus it is fun to get little packages in the mail.

  The moving my booty and eating better has been okay. I have lost 5lbs so far but I can still end up eating shit that I shouldn't. I have been eating less crap though and more healthy foods. Tonight we are having beefy enchiladas for dinner and I am making the sauce homemade. Oh yeah. I am going to follow this simple recipe and it will be good. I am hungry too. I had done alot this morning and I only had a grilled cheese to eat. So this bitch is hungry for dinner.
 
  Money saving has been doing well also. Any extra that I can squeak out of the budget, I give to Fred to hide away. I am thinking I will buy a nice fire safe for the house. Good sized one too. Put all important papers in there. That will be one of my next important purchase that I do in the very near future. I also need to purchase paint and supplies for the living room and dining room. Painting time shall begin!

 Okay, this bitch is gonna go relax and watch a bit of the boob tube. Have a great weekend.

Itchy Scratchy

*

*263*

  Something has been giving me an all over itch. I was just dealing with it for the past two days and today I decided to take a Zyrtec and see what happens. The itch went away. So something is giving me an allergic reaction. Probably the pollen. The counts have been high.
 What has been going on? I bought a bunch of veggie plants for the yard and the garden this past weekend. Today I finished tilling the garden bed on the side of the house and planted tomatoes, Japanese eggplants, and cucumbers. I have jalapenos, black bell peppers, watermelons, cherry tomatoes, and some annual flowers. I need to buy some soil to get those going too. The watermelons are a crap shoot. I think they will die and never grow but I have to give it a try.
  It is nicer here and not as cold as it used to be. Nights are still cool and great for sleeping. Just a weird season we are having.

  I pulled out all of my summer clothes from last year. I am able to fit into two pairs of capris that did not fit at all before. I also have some pants that used to be snug, that fit wonderfully now. I think I am liking this new eating and getting more active in my life. I am still afraid to walk yet. One day I will just do it but not yet. Still afraid I will hurt my feet.
I have some yoga dvds that I am going to pull out today and give them a try tomorrow. That is if I am not scratching my skin off.

  I have a dilemma. For the past week, I have woken up twice with fluid running out of my nose again. Last night was the 2nd time. I do not have a cold or any post nasal drip. I am worried that I have a hole in my head or the work the Dr did on my mastoid opened up. Should I do a wait and see? Or should I call to make an appointment asap?
 I think I do not want to go through the surgery again. That is why. Ugh. If anyone gives me some advice, I will truly think it through.

I am so lazy today. I do not even want to cook dinner. I did laundry, planted, vacuumed the living room, and that is about it. I could do so much more but I am not feeling it. I think I will get in my jammies and just relax.

 I will make sure to take pictures of the veggies as they grow!

What in the hell

As fattening as they are, those look tasty

*265*

  I change my eating habits and I gain 2 lbs. That sucks rocks. I was expecting to see some lowering of the scale. I definitely have not been eating any of the stuff in the picture. Keep on keeping on I guess.
  My movement uptake has improved. Yesterday was a busy day. I have my morning shit to do then I helped Chelsea clean out the garden beds and add a whole wheelbarrow`s full of compost to top them off. That required slinging a shovel. We were one of the last beds to be cleaned out. They emailed us to basically clean it or lose it. It has been *so not feeling it *kind of Spring planting weather because it has been cold so many of us at the garden waited.  But it is all cleaned out now. She planted her herbs and lettuce. I will plant two tomato plants in the other bed for her and the rest of the space is for her and her friend to use all season. I will come and water for them in the summer. You need to do that every single day when it is hot out.
 On Sunday, I cleaned out the entire front yard. bagged about 6 bags and they all went to the dump. I even dug up this pesky thorny rose weed that I have been just dealing with for years. I have to finish up the small side area where the oil pipe is (that is where they put the oil into the house). I did much other there but there are alot of baby trees I need to pull up.

  Technically, I have not been exercising but I have been doing alot of shit. Loads of laundry up and down the stairs. Cleaning house and such. I am doing more than I used to do so it should show something but it  has not yet. That is okay. I will keep it up.


I hate the blue color sample that I chose for the kitchen. I have decided it is too dark. I want this room to be blue but not that one. My kid`s friend suggested that I paint all the walls white. I explained to him that I lived in apartment`s my entire life until we bought this house 15 years ago. Even as a child. And they all had white walls. I decided that I was not going to have one white colored wall in my house as long as I was living.  Now, when it comes time to sell, we will paint all the walls white. Better for selling. But not now. Hell to the no. So it is back to the drawing board on that color. I like the gray that I picked for the living room. Next time I have some extra cash, I am going to buy the paint in that color and get moving on it.

 As for what am I going to do today. I think I will finish the side yard stuff and bag it, clean the messy assed kitchen, TRY and tackle this massive amount of clothing that has been left near the front door of the basement, and clean the living room. I also have four basil plants that I am going to put in the big pot out front. I hope they grow massive!
Yup, it is lazy children week here at my homestead. Like I do not have enough to fucking do. I definitely want to get the yard work done before tomorrow. Going to finally rain here for the next couple of days.

 Hope you have a nice week ahead. I know I will try!

Spring Cleaning in my coat

One of my maple trees..Spring Buds

*263*

It is flipping cold out there today!
  I have a busy Sunday ahead of me. I am going to do some yard work that will not kill me and I am going to take my first walk of the season with Fred this evening around 6pm. Sun will still be out but it will be nice.
  I took the dogs out as per usual this morning and I started to trim bushes in the yard that I had not done previously this year yet. Over the years I have forgotten names of things and it is embarrassing because i used to be so good at that. I have a lilac bush, a hydrangea, two azaleas, two rose of sharon (i have a couple babies growing in other places to fill in spots), and a large butterfly weed.
 I have really neglected my yard over the past couple years because I just have not felt very well. I have a lot of catching up to do. Today I am going to trim all the bushes except for the lilac and the azaleas. They both have to wait until after they have bloomed. I want to get some sort of order going in my life and that yard is the perfect place to start. Once we get the loan for the home improvements, I will be too busy on the inside to think about the outside. This year, I am going to plant some tomatoes and some herbs..definitely basil. Low key on the veggie growing this year because I will be busy. I do not want to neglect my plants anymore. So today I am going to change into some warm clothes and I am going to trim bushes and rake the rest of the crap in the front yard. I will have my trusty pain in the ass dog, Ruby by my side.
 Fred has been walking the bridge with his friend every Sunday. I am not ready for that much of a haul so we are going to start slow with our old mile walk in the neighborhood. Doing it in the evening and starting now before it gets hot. I want to be a bit conditioned before than. Let`s hope and pray that I do not fuck up my feet again!

I hope you have a nice Sunday and that it is full of sunshine and warm breezes.

Flowers for my garden

  The other day I went to the discount store called Ocean State Job Lot. It is a cool store where you can pick up this or that for not alot of money. I was drawn to the big Burpee seed display. Now before you start on me about Monsanto and the frankfood seeds they make..I know all about it. I do not know if they dip their toes into flowers but at this rate, I do not care. They were 40% off, they are this year`s seeds and I am gonna enjoy them. I hope.

This is Burpee`s annual Candy cane Zinnia (red on white) . Now I am thinking of digging up all the strawberries in the front right side area of the yard and plant them in their own raised bed. I want at least two beds in that area. To surround the beds, I would like some color and I think this zinnia and the next one will give a nice change.

This is Burpee`s annual Zinnia Envy. Look at that beautiful lime green. I love it. I need to vary the colors in my garden. I have alot of purple and yellow. I want something new and this should do the trick. These are only annuals so I will have to replant new seeds every year. Biannuals will grow for a few years and Perennials will grow every year but not all of them. I have had some that died after 5 years so plants and bulbs do have a shelf life. I am all self taught. So I may say some things that are not quite right but they have worked for me.

This is Burpee`s Tithonia Sundance annual variety. It is a daisy like flower that attracts birds and butterflies. I think I want this to be planted in a planter by the back door. I have plans for the back patio. It has been neglected all these years. I want a nice mid priced range patio set, a new grill, some containers with herbs, tall grasses for privacy, and some color. This is the year of Heidi`s patio!
All these seeds cannot be directly sown into the ground or soil until May. Even though I suck at seed starting indoors, I may start these in March/April in the house in big pots to get them started. Making sure to save some just in case I fuck them up. One thing I wont do is grow seeds indoors, if I can help it. I have tried to do it for 15 years and I cant. They always die. They never ever grow. Seeds indoors do not like me.

I am also going to have Fred get a friend to build me the raised beds that I want in my yard. I want three in the front and two on the side front. I know what I want and it will not be hard but I cannot do it and neither can Fred.
They will be good sized with pressure treated wood and I can control the weeds and the type of soil that I use. I did join the community garden this year. I did so because I do not know when my garden beds will be built. But they will be built this season and I will use them from now on.

So I have some positive plans in place for the growing season. I am not going to over do it but I am going to take care of some neglected spaces. I have a bunch of iris that I need to dig up and replant. Which I have never done. I planted them probably 10 years ago. I will read up so I do not fuck them up. I think I will pepper this with gardening stuff for awhile to keep my mind off all the bullshit.

Today is a nice cold 40 deg f in the sunny afternoon. I am still in my jammies. I need to get moving cause the big kid needs to go to work and I promised the little kid I would take her out for a light lunch.
Have a good day!