Stuff is a-changing

*238*


  Against my better judgement, I am drinking my third 8oz cup of coffee with soy creamer and one Stevia packet. I had my sick stomach breakfast of 1 egg cooked in microwave with a sliced avocado. When I am having pain and no appetite, that breaky gives me enough boost just in case I cannot eat till dinner. *burp* Okay..I am gonna pour this shit out.

  Changes are happening. I hope that the positives continue cause we have had our fair share of bullshit. Hubs has been offered and he accepted a new position in his department. He will be a driver. He will pick up and delivery all sorts of small stuff to the different clinics and hospitals affiliated with ours. The guy he is taking over for leaves in 3 weeks so he will have plenty of time to train. He started yesterday and he likes it. This is good for him. He is off his bad foot. He is not lugging big carts of supplies. He still gets to socialize but a whole new crop of people. Plus he is back on 2nd which he likes. I dont have to worry about him as much as I have been.
  
  Kid #1 is treating me better.  She is talking to me. That look of disgust when she had to communicate with me is gone. It is either cause she has grown more, therapy, or a combo of the two. I still want a empty nest but I can tolerate a little longer cause she is more forthcoming towards me and vice versa.

   If you totally ignore my stomach issues right now, I am doing pretty good. I have had some depressive moments but I rolled with it and I am ok now. Bipolar sucks ass, I tell you. Thankfully I am of the 2 variety so it is not as intense as what I grew up with living with my Mom and Sister. They were/are 1s and that is not a fun thing to have.  I have tried to do more. Get moving. Get Doing. Try new things. I tasted beef tongue a couple weeks ago. Scared of it but I ate it with Hubs in a taco. It was actually pretty good. It was not at all tonguey. It was really like shredded roast beef.

  I have been making TO DO lists that are pinned to the wall for me to see. I scratch off when I get something done. It gives me motivation to finish that list! So I have to get moving to finish my clothing. Cause then I can scratch off Finish Sorting Clothes and Bring Donations to Jonnycakes. I have to move my bedroom around (on the list) but I have to finish the clothes!!!!!!

That is my goal today. Drop off the *children* to their destinations (it is raining) and finish the summer stuff. I am not ready to call the gut dr yet. I will give it a couple more days. It might just go away on it`s own. Why I worry a tad is that it is making me feel low blood pressure symptomatic. Or I think it is and it freaks me out. We shall see.

Have a great Tuesday. Hopefully there is sunshine for you.

Damn fine cup of coffee

*245*


 Once a month, I buy a can of the Cafe Du Monde regular coffee and chicory coffee. I buy it locally so it does cost a bit more. I think I will just buy a few in the mail, cut out the middle man and save myself $5. I could buy a case this month because there is an extra payday. I could stretch those out for only twice a month and I would be set for a year. It would save me a chunk. I will think about it.
 This coffee will grow hair on your chest! It is sooo good!

It is gonna be a sweaty one today. I watered all the plants inside and out. I have a few tomato buds showing. It is sad that I have so little to show for this year. I am giving tomatoes away at this time. Oh well. Took care of the fur babies. I always make sure they get out, do their stuff, come in, eat, drink and have ample areas to lay to keep cool.    And tossed laundry down the stairs. This is my inside day. I will wash all the bed linens, curtains from the living room and any stray rag laying around. If I do that plus get the livingroom tidy, I will have accomplished alot. I think I will probably make something simple like spaghetti for dinner <---no oven needed. Toss a salad and we are good!
    I have that one wall to paint in the room. Gotta get to it soon. Probably today.... I was hoping to lose 5 lbs in flop sweat anyway.The kid comes home in a week. I have to go out to purchase her a mattress and box spring and a bed pillow. She will be all set. I found out from her that she will be leaving at the end of the year. She is moving in with a room mate. Her long time friend. She knows she is ready and she can do this. I am very happy for her and for us. So painting her room is a formality. Just showing her that I care..even though she wont be there very long. The boy will not get the room. Umm nope. We want to delete people in our house. One down, two to go. This summer has been so great. Less money has been spent. We got rid of cable. We are tossing stuff. It feels liberating!

 I have finished my 2nd cup. I have another post to make and then I am off to sweat my ass off.
 

More coffee is an option

Dinner Delights!

*248*
 
      Just to let you know, I have had to get up super early the past few days. I am about to get my 2nd cup of Joe as I type....... The coil broke on the Nissan. It is getting fixed this week but in the mean time, I have been driving the man to his new first shift job...the alarm goes off at 530am. <-----I call bullshit! LOL
   He loves the job. He is around all guys, he is moving, getting exercise, and the day ends early. We are losing an extreme amount of money because of the job change. We will figure it out and survive as best we can. He can try to transfer to another job in six months. I am so glad that he is happy at his job. I am just sad that it is not more money.
   I will have to bring back my frugal skills of yore. I cried for a bit but I am better now. I have to start trimming the fat.   I think cable tv is a goner for us. I will keep internet but cannot afford the cable. There is alot to take in. I learned I can turn the furnace off to save oil. We can switch it on when showers and dishes need to be done.
 So much has gone on. Kid #1 is leaving in June for Cali for a internship for a couple months. Kid #2 is spreading her wings and moving in with friends temporarily until the Fall or sooner. She will be within walking distance. Unofficial Kid #3 has not said anything. He has no place to go. I am hoping if he stays here, he will give us some rent plus help around the house. Otherwise, he will need to go too. But that is just talk right now. I could actually be a empty nester this summer! Like a test to see if I can handle it. Challenge accepted.

  Yesterday I had my MRI on my neck. I was given a pill called Serax which is actually a benzo. I had a mild case of hives from it. It was determined I was okay so we proceeded with the scan. I was loopy, they made me comfy with pillows, headphones (music), and warm wash cloth over my eyes. I could have fell asleep in that thing if it wasnt for the noise. I have a disc to give to my neuro. It is too early now but I will call later to make a follow up appt to see what is up.

  My treat for my shitty couple of weeks is a lobster. They were on sale for $4.99 per lb. I got one that was slightly over 3 lbs. It was boiled last night. It is in my fridge awaiting my ideas for it. I could just be carnal...slightly heat it and eat it with butter. Or I could make a nice cold salad. Or something else..I have not decided. I know I just said I have to cut back on the budget but for this one time, I decided that I wanted this for ME and all the things I cried over this past week. A decadent food that doesnt require insulin! SCORE!

This bitch needs a coffee!

Perfectly coiffed while doing their chores.

*249*

    No gym for me today. I had a nice all day kind of work out. I do not know how much snow we got but it was fucking cold out there. I actually had to come inside and add another shirt under my fleece.
   I personally shoveled the back patio, porch, steps, walkway, steps, around both cars, and brushed them both off while they warmed. Then I drove across the bridge for an errand. Took the kid to a Dr appointment, pharmacy, gas for Jeepo, made my lunch, cleaned cleaned cleaned, and I just threw a whole chicken in the oven. I had said that I was going to section it and make oven fried chicken but I was not in any mood to mess with that shit. Phew!
 Of course everyone was sleeping. They did not hear me stomping around in my work boots at all. You can never awaken someone from a fake sleep. I know that is right. Eh! I burned some calories and gained some muscle. But I am rightfully tired and could really use a nap. That wont happen. The chicken has to be turned in an hour (2 hours 20 min to cook) and I have to peel potatoes. Oh the life I lead. So glamorous. So fucking boring. I am surprised any of you follow me at all.

What is Heidi up to today? A biopsy? Or attempt to make creme brulee?

  I feel good up stairs in my head. I am good spirits. The CPAP is finally given me a bit more energy. But my gut is just not right. I hope hope hope it is not something sucky. I did talk to my Liver Sister today and she assured me that a liver biopsy does not hurt. They numb you up nicely and you just feel a pinch. I was worried about that. But that could be the next thing on my journey.

 So yeah..that is all for today. Snow snow snow and it is oh so fucking cold. Gonna try not to fall asleep by going in the kitchen and brewing some coffee.

End of Summer 2013

*261*

  Today is the last day of August and Labor day weekend. The garden is starting to wind down a bit early this year or maybe I am just thinking that. I have really neglected the community beds this year. The growing season took so long to get started that I probably have rotting tomatoes on the vine, which is a crime in my eyes. I am going to go there today and pick what I can. Maybe next weekend when I feel up to it, I will just clean out the whole bed, dig up my strawberry plants and call it. I am not going to do the beds anymore. I just do not have it in me to keep going there. I will have beds made here at the house.
 I went to the GP yesterday. He says that I do not have high blood pressure (yay!) and I told him about my new way of eating. On his scale yesterday it said I have lost 10 lbs since last month. He tells me to keep doing what I am doing. He said that 1400 calories is plenty. I wonder if I should eat less but I do not want to limit myself since I am already so limited in my food choices as it is. I am doing good. I had a couple missteps that I am okay with. Except for yesterday. Oy. I can eat at the Chinese buffet here because at dinner they serve seafood and really good seafood. Like blue crab legs, alaskan crab legs, whole clams, crawfish, etc. I am in heaven and it only costs me about $12. I made the mistake of eating ONE fried squid circle. I love squid. Apparently, fried squid does not like me. I will just say that I spent alot of time in the bathroom that evening. Hubs and I both said that fried food is a wrap for me and my gut.
 Right now I have been doing an easy lap around the neighborhood and we have been doing housecleaning for the prep of painting soon. So that is exercise in itself. I am going to wait to sign up for the gym until I can sign up the family too. They want to come back into the exercise fold. I hope they do utilize it this time as well as I.  I am having another itchy day today. Not in the best of moods. I need to talk directly to my gastro to find out if this is truly related to my liver or not. His nurse practitioner told me it was not. Then I will have to assume that is hormonal and I will be taking benadryl for a very long time.
 Last but not least, I think I have to now give up coffee. I have an aversion to it. I want it so badly but I get one or two sips in and I just do not want it. At first I thought it was because of the cream and that fat it contains and how that effects my liver. I have some Coconut milk coffee creamer that seems to be doing the trick. It is totally dairy free. But we will see................ I have not demolished my cup of coffee so this could mean that the coffee is not good for me either.

Damn! Damn! Damn!

Coffee Day and a Fruitful weekend

Remember the coffee grinders at the check out stands?

*261*

  I am off the diuretic. Thursday night was it for me. I am laying in bed, watching tv, and my heart starts racing for no reason. It stopped thankfully. I did not take the pill yesterday and I called the Dr office. They told me to stop taking it too. I felt so much better yesterday. I mean, I still feel like donkey shit but not big heaping piles of it that I have to dig out of. Big difference. So I will find out what is what at my appt next month.  I need to keep on the trend of not eating as much as I was before. I was eating my meals but no snacks. Plus, I have been eating less because there are other people to feed in the house.
  I made a nice big pot of coffee this morning and drank two cups in honor of National Coffee Day. This should be a solemn occasion with parades and fan fare. But spending it at home with my favorite mug is good enough.
  This weekend is the last of September and I am going to enjoy my time of not feeling shitty. I am up to my armpits in family packs of chicken. Chicken legs were 77c a lb and whole breasts were $1.49 a lb. Now, I hate chicken legs with a white hot passion but at 77c a lb, I cannot ignore. Hubby wants me to make Chicken Cacciatore for him and his friend for Sunday football watching. I went out and got an extra pack of legs for them so they can eat like kings. I never liked it growing up as a kid. I am pretty sure it tasted amazing but I do not like dark meat chicken. But I will learn to deal with it because it is cheap and cheap is good!
 A friend of ours helped us out with some stuff around here and part of his payment besides cash was I am going to make him some jam. He wanted habenero jelly but I am not burning my eyeballs off for that! So I compromised and I am making Strawberry Jalapeno jam. It is basically the same recipe for standard strawberry jam but you are adding a cup of processed jalapenos in there.
And I will attempt the Rosedale. Busy weekend ahead for me but I sit here on my ass. Oh well.

Okay..I am going to do the chicken now...Going.....Going.....Going.....Poof!

Early Riser

I wish it was a Pepsi

I woke up at 6am. Somebody left the ceiling fan on in the dining room. It is directly underneath my bed. It has been noisy lately. Not super nosy like we need to get rid of that thing, but just age. And we can hear it at night if someone left it on. I was passed out and did not hear it till this morning. Once I hear it, I am up. Damn kids!
 I have lots to do today. My *procedure* is on Wednesday so I have to cram in everything beforehand. I am going to finish making the bon bons that I started last night. I have some sewing of rips to do. I am going to plant my pansies today on the front porch. I am also going to my friend`s house for the evening. I am making dinner. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. She HATES to cook. I wanted to go visit her before her vacation was over and before I had my work done. I am not superstitious or anything. I just want to get things done before I go under.
 Natalie has a shit load of history homework to do. SHITLOAD. She waits until the last minute to do stuff. I told her that I would help her. Not actually do the homework but if she has any questions, go for it. I will be glad when she is finally done with the high school stuff. Then she can move on to bigger and better things.  Then I have to do Rainbow`s taxes. I am going to do them on his laptop and he is going to watch so that he can do it himself after that. He is the son that I did not get stretch marks from.
Oh and it might be hot as confined balls here next week when I have the surgery! Isnt that just lovely? My hootchie coo will be in pain, I will be sleeping off anesthesia, and I will be sweating.
 Yeah, this post is all over the map. I have no clear vision like other blogs. I just spit whatever I think out and my fingers type away. But that is okay. Some will say this is boring shit, why bother? Others will like reading about my life.
Today is just not a stellar blog post..that is all. I am not Pulitzer worthy. I am trying REALLY HARD! hehehehe
 I got nothing.
Okay, I do have something.
Not last night but the night before I had a dream that my house was on fire and I was trying, unsuccessfully, to put it out.
There have been a series of fires going on around the city lately. Last night there was a fire and two people died. Two days before there was a fire a couple miles away and the place was gutted. The fire last night, there was a fire around the corner a month or so ago and that was gutted too. People are speculating whether or not the Norwich arsonist has come to town or if we have our own fire bug. The fire department has never said any of the fires so far this year have been arson. One of the houses is tied to a mortgage scam where many people are going to prison. So it makes many of us in town uneasy. Is it just a coincidence or something else?

She can see clearly now.

Lu had her shots today and she also got her first summer cut of the season. Her tail is also blue. She was strutting her stuff around the vet and house afterward. She loves when she gets a haircut. She is very afraid when I pass her off to the groomer and I think she does not want to be there. But she stands still for her to cut her and she is a very good girl. I wish I could have her groomed on a regular like every two months but sometimes I cannot afford it. She was the Shaggy D.A. when I brought her in. But Melanie, the groomer, said that Lu was the best of the bunch. She had six dogs to do that day and Lu was the easiest. I guess I was not the only one that let the dogs hair grow. As you can see, she is my little baby. I love her very much. She is spoiled rotten. Oh, that is Ruby`s rump in the foreground. She thinks she is a small dog.

 So basically, I am going to try to get much done today and tomorrow. I have a GP appointment on Monday that they crammed me in for. I have a pedicure appointment for Tuesday afternoon and then I have the ablation. Jesus, I hope it does not hurt too badly. I mean afterward. You know me. I will be bitching and whining if it does!
okay..I need more coffee.

Macho Macho..eh whatever.

I have this song stuck in my head so I thought i would share.

I promised a friend that I would exercise in some form today and share the results with her. I think I will walk the dogs and then maybe do some Just Dance on Wii. I am just waking up so I am not making any promises at this moment. Natalie and I have not been to the gym in over 2 months. I have decided that if we do not make a conscious effort to really go at least 2-3 times a week, every week by the end of the year, then I am cancelling the memberships. I pay over $40 for all three and no one is going. That is almost $500 a year that I am paying out for something that is not being used. So we are going to go on Monday and see how that goes.
If I can lose weight getting off a diabetic pill, I should be able to step it up to firm some of the flab too. I think I want a new scale for Christmas. One of those BMI ones that tells you all your dirty little secrets. So we will all be surprised when I first weigh myself.
   Natalie watched Ruby last night so I could get some sleep. I ordered a puppy play pen for her and it should be here tomorrow. That way she can sleep, she can pee, she can play and not get into trouble. She wont be in there all the time but I need to be able to go out and she needs to be able to live without anyone around her 24/7. She has the other dogs and cats keeping her company. So Natalie is exhausted and probably sleeping. She has an appointment later on this afternoon but she will be good for that later.
I still say I am a fucking lunatic for having a puppy in the house. Lord. But Natalie loves her and she is actually helping. Which is a major milestone. I came downstairs and the living room is cleaned. She is picking up poop and pee from the pup. She is taking her for walks. It is a responsibility that she needed. Do not worry. I am helping and teaching her that you have to be firm with the pup. Tell them NO now so they do not become a beast later. She is sleeping next to me on the couch. LOL
Need more coffee and a better song in my head.