Walking on the wild side

    Kid #2 and I have been walking for the past year. Not a whole lot because of my health but way more then ever before. We love to walk at the local arboretum at the college. It is not far from our home. We drive there now. This week I am going to surprise her. We are going to get some new sneakers. Good ones too. And maybe one day we can then walk to the arboretum, walk around, and then walk home. But we have to build up to it. That would be the ultimate!

I thought I would share some pics from our last walk. It was a gorgeous day. 

This is the pond. Not the very beginning of the walk but about 5 minutes in. We stopped to look at the turtles sunning on the rocks.

This is why my phone sucks and I ordered the iPhone. I couldn't zoom on the puddle ducks in front of us so they blurred out. They waddled back into the pond when they saw us. 

I have never been able to do the forest loop without wanting to die afterward. That day I felt good and we decided to DO IT.

Omg! Made me gulp. I hate heights. Long drop down.

Here is another perspective. I was less scared of this area for some strange reason.

Down and up and off the right and we will be almost done. 

This shot is the beginning (we start at that gravel path) and the end (we enter from the right of the picture). There is a nice wide stone bench to sit on, drink our water, and catch a breeze.  We usually do a 20 minute easy walk but this day we were out there for an hour. And I didn't die! Score!

  I have to research what kind of sneaks I should get. I tend to get plantar fasciitis so I need strong/hard soled shoes. 

There is a peek into one of my daily adventures. With the new phone, I will be able to document more. I wish I could be out there today. I will rest up so I can have more walking adventures with the kid. 

Saint Patrick`s Day 2014

*245*

  Happy St Paddy`s Day to you all. I hope you have a luscious meal and don't get too drunk on Car Bombs and Guinness.  I have two flat cut corned beefs in the crock pot. I am partly using this recipe.
 I am using the glaze part where it is put in the oven. In the slow cooker, I have added 2 cups of apple juice, half cup of Bragg`s apple cider vinegar, 1 cup brown sugar, and a few squirts of Dijon mustard. I am also going to make Southern cabbage and roasted potatoes. It is in no way a traditional SPD dinner but it will be good as hell!

 Taxes are done! I used Turbo tax. I was able to do the HSA paperwork on there, it cost me only $25 and we owe $21! That is wayyyy less then what H&R Block told us. I procrastinated that shit for a couple weeks cause I knew I would have to finagle that HSA form (legally) and pay a large amount of money. I just pulled the band-aid and did it. I feel good getting that out of the way.

 I have really been trying to make my life for the better. I have been so complacent lately with the food. I have been walking but I need to step up my game. I added Myfitnesspal back on my phone so that I can be more accountable to myself with my choices that effect my body. I started it again yesterday. I had to adjust the amount of calories, carbs, and sugars. 1500 calories a day is good for me. It is not too much or too little. After I finish this, I am going to change to go on a mile walk around the neighborhood. My headphones died so I will have to listen to nature instead.
 
Keeping up with saying no. I had a couple slip ups but otherwise I am doing well. I actually got some help around the house...unsolicited. You could have knocked me over with a feather. One day at a time!

Have a great start to your week...think warm Spring thoughts!

Saturday of my disconent. Not really.

IMUSA Caldero

*249* <------According the Gastro`s scale on Friday. Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

  See! I told you that I would come back. I think I will post every Saturday or Sunday. Other days if anything juicy happens. I did not go to the vascular surgeon on Friday. They had to reschedule cause he had to perform surgery. So I will see him at the end of the month. I did see the Gastro. Ho Hum.

 He tells me that my pain is a couple of things. One area of pain has to do with my exercising. It is muscle strain and it will take my body time to adjust. The other pain he wants to have checked out. So next Tuesday I am having blood work and an ultrasound of my abdomen. He wants to see how my liver, pancreas, and gallbladder are. I KNOW that my liver is enlarged cause I can feel it and it hurts like before. But I am not really eating any fat. So it should not be in pain, but it is. So we will see on that one. I finally asked him what he thinks is going on with my liver. I said most fatty liver has no symptoms. He says Yes. I said that I have symptoms. He said this is why you have to eat healthy and lose weight so you can get off the insulin. He said I have the kind of fatty liver that could turn into non alcoholic cirrhosis. or liver cancer in the future. I got my answer, but I did not like it. I told him about not being able to tolerate any dairy, beef, or pork. I was thinking about being a vegetarian. He said that he is almost a veg. He occasionally eats fish. So that I can forgo the things that hurt me and eat everything else. I am going to work on that. There will be lapses but if I work hard at sticking to my plan with the deletion of beef, pork, and dairy..I should be good. I hope. I see him in a month and he wants me to lose 5lbs.

So, yeah. It seems I have fucketh my selfeth in the asseth because I ignored my diabetes for 13 years. Assholeth!

  I have been walking and going to the gym on a pretty regular basis. I really need to invest in some better sneakers. The ones that I have do not give me the kind of support that I need. I want to walk 2 miles a day (weather permitting) and I will hurt my feet again if I do it in the snazzy sneakers that I have. I tried on a pair of 18 jeans but still too small for me. At least that pair. But I have a pair of size 20s that I bought last month that are starting to fall off me. I have shirts that I would never wear cause they did not *cover* me the way that I felt comfy. Now they do.

  That picture up top is a IMUSA caldero. I bought one at Walmart two weeks ago and I am breaking it in today. It is a really big one, 36 cm! It cost $22. Because it is cast aluminum, you have to season it first. There are lots of videos online to show you how. I have chili cooking it but my ultimate goal is to use it to make jams. It is heavy so I will not have to worry about the jam burning on the bottom.
Now the chili has ground pork in it.  I wanted to use it instead of tossing it. I cooked it thoroughly, and then rinsed all the grease off. I am good to go. The chili has onions, garlic, yellow and orange bell pepper, white and red kidney beans, ground pork, roasted cherry tomatoes, two cans of crushed tomatoes, cumin, oregano, chili powder, cayenne, salt, pepper, and paprika. I probably missed the kitchen sink too but that is the gist of the meal. I am going to freeze some for a later meal. This is why I made a HUGE amount.

 It did not snow today. Just a bunch of rain. It is going to dip back into the 20s next week. Yuck on that! I have to get some oil for the tank. Hoping what I got will last till then. Spring is just around the corner, I keep telling myself!

Gonna go, chili is done.

It`s brick outside

*245*

I will give you a little lesson in urban language. When someone says it is brick outside...it is as cold as a witches tit outside. Cold as a hibernating bears buttocks outside. It is like January out there! Thankfully, it is going to warm up soon. It is cold out but not as cold as the past couple of days. We even had a smidge of snow. It will be close to 60 deg F on Sunday so we can all stop our whining and get over it. I have leaves to rake and bag and windows to cover very soon.

The walkway and steps are all done. He just has to come back this weekend and fill in the gaps on the sides. This is the pic before he started pouring the cement. (see-ment)

 

This is when he was all done. We were only allowed to walk on those first sections because they had cured first. We were able to walk to the left of the stairs to go to the car.

Our stairs are fixed and we have a railing!!! You do not even know. I have wanted a railing since the first winter we lived here. Now anyone can use it to get up the stairs without struggling. Yes!
Too much excitement for a railing but it was much needed. He added an extra step because of the way he leveled the walkway. It is good. I was telling Kid number 2 that her little self would have loved this new walkway. Give her a fresh bucket of sidewalk chalk and she would have been in heaven.

  Let me think. What else?
Everyone that I go to the gym with has something wrong with them so they cannot go. One is sick with that virus that is going around. One pulled a muscle in her calf from over doing it. And one fell down some stairs and sprained her ankle. I am all alone out there in gym land. I have no problem going. That is not it. I just get bored and I know if I do not have people to chit chat with, I will cut that shit short. There are tvs to watch so I guess I could do that but still...I like human interaction. We motivate each other. Nobody to motivate me now. Today is my NON GYM day anyway. I do not do Thursdays. I want one day were I can just do what I want or basically catch up on shit.
   I just finished cleaning the downstairs bathroom. That is basically become the girl`s bathroom and for anyone that comes over. It is embarrassing. These girls do not clean a thing so when I get to it, it is awful. I boxed up kid number 1s bathroom stuff. We got rid of the toilet surround cabinet thing because it was Ikea and it was busted. So she had all her stuff on every surface in there. You could not clean. So I took a small cardboard box and put all her hair and face stuff in there and put the box on the floor. I will explain that it is better for now. It is gross for other people to use the bathroom and have to look at her stuff. With opened containers and hairs everywhere. She will brush her hair and then she has her hairs stuck on every damn surface. I love her but she should learn to clean up after herself.
Seriously!
 I have a mini milestone to report. Last Spring, a friend gave me a few clothing items from her stash. Really nice things but all too small for me. They were put away for the warmer months. This past week she gave me another bag of stuff and in there was a red wool coat (length past my butt) and it was from LL Bean. Size 14-16. Too snug for me so I put it in closet. There was the grey wool Lane Bryant coat (same length) from the Spring. I wanted to try it on because of the cold snap. I have that long camel coat I bought for $5 this past Spring but I am not ready for that yet.
The size 14-16 coat fits me! Now, It is a bit snug in the shoulders. Usually when that happens, I will take it off but it was only a bit snug. It buttoned and fits perfectly. Hubs said it looks good. Now..I could never wear a bulky sweater underneath it but that is now.
This is the motivation that I needed. I had been slacking on the healthy eating. This fueled my engine that I can lose weight. I can wear nice things. I can be a size 14-16!  I wish my ass and gut had gotten them memo from the upper body. My bottom half is in Purgatory. We are between sizes. I can wear a size 20 but it is getting too big. I have not found the right pair of size 18 that I can wear without pinching off the gut fat with the zipper. Sucks for sure.

 Otherwise, everything is going fine. We are invited to a friend`s house for Thanksgiving this year. I am thankful for that. And when the weekend comes, I will be in short sleeves again!

Evil Birthday cake of DOOM!

*248*

 I said I was going to stick to the plan and I am. I was thinking this morning that my goal for the month of November is to lose 20 lbs. That will be 40lbs total since I started this. I am not going to beat myself up if I eat something that I should not but I will work very very hard to not eat them. If that makes any sense. Today is going to be hard. I did well. Shake for breakfast, salad and soup for lunch, almonds for a snack....then dinner. Dinner is going to be an issue with me. We are having broasted chicken, with garlic mashed potatoes, baked beans, and coleslaw. Oh and a big birthday cake. Today is kid number 2`s birthday. That is like five things I should not eat. I could probably get away with eating the chicken. I will just make a big salad and I have some collard greens left over from the weekend.. But the cake. I have a carrot cake cooking in the oven right now and I am going to make cream cheese frosting.
  I will be strong willed and determined to do what I got to do. I have tweaked my calorie intake per day and I am going to go to the gym three times a week.  I just need to stay away from the yummy sugary carrot cake!

The old girl is a-okay

*248*

   I had the scope of my bladder. No cancer, cysts, tumors, or stones. I have over active bladder. He thinks my new way of eating has helped aggravate what was already there but not as intense. I am on two pills for it. The more weight I lose, the better it will get.
Yay for not having anything scary!
 I do not announce that I go to the gym. I go and that is a part of my life. Not looking for high fives cause I put my work out gear on. But I wanted to share some milestones. I can do 15 minutes on the elliptical machine now. I can do 30 on the treadmill. And I can do 20 on the stair climber. I tried this thing today. It is called an Ab Glider. The one at our gym does not look like this (older version) but it does the same thing. It always scared me because I thought I was too fat for it. My stomach muscles were not strong enough and I would get stuck on it. My friend, A told me to JUST DO IT. She was there for moral support and to help me off if I got stuck. I could do it. Not alot but I could get on it and get off it with no problems. This is going to be part of my routine now. I can tell by looking in the mirror that I have started to get leaner. I am building muscle. This is one part of the reason why the scale is not moving. I fell off the carb wagon a few times but I am back on track. Started on Sunday and have been doing well ever since. I am allowing myself to have short transgressions but I will not gain the weight back. I refuse to go backward. I said that I was NOT going to have that gastric bypass surgery and I mean it.
 I would rather do it the hard way but sweating my ass off and eating healthy. That way it will be harder for me to fall back into my old habits.
 My ass will never look like the chick in the picture. That is too much work and I have too much extra skin but I can dream!

Acorn Tattoo

*248*

  I took the kid to get her birthday tattoo yesterday. While she was at it, we both got matching tattoos of an acorn. Now the picture i took of it sucks ass..so I will get a better picture of it later and put it in my next post. It is the size of a real acorn and he touched up my finger moustache.
 
 I just finished bagging up all the magazines to go to the hospital. Then I need to make vegan cupcakes for a friend. Going to run to co-op to get castor sugar. I want to start the trim this week..yes we have not painted a damn thing. So much going on and I have not been feeling well. Feeling nauseated and in pain. Sometimes I think it is my liver other times I think it might be my kidneys. I see the urologist on Wednesday. I threw up on Friday evening. I felt so green. I threw up everything. I do not think it was food poisoning because I felt better after I did it but my liver hurt before and after. So I think that had something to do with it. I did not have anything greasy.
Oh well. Life goes on.

I am here. Just not all together with it. I figured I would post so you all that read it know I am still here. I am still going to the gym. I just do not announce it. I think the gym is part of your routine in life...why announce it the world or Facebook?  I think those that announce they are at the gym on a regular basis are just wanting some validation. I showed two pictures when I started in the beginning. That was it. So people that KNOW me know that I am going. Everyone else has no clue. I am getting stronger in the legs, I can walk farther without huffing and puffing, and my gut and boobs are shrinking. I wish the fat in my face would disappear. That would be nice. All in do time.

Time to get moving. It is noon and I am still in my jammies. Have a nice Sunday!

Oh to sleep the sleep of the dead

*251*

  It is almost October. My most favorite month of the entire year. Yesterday I bought a couple pumpkins and some mums for the front porch. I think my days of decorating for trick or treaters is over but Fall decorating could take on a whole new thing for me. Kid number two turns 20 at the end of the month. That will be it. No more kids in my house. I know they were adults at 18 but something about not being a teenager anymore really seals it for me.

  I have been told that a couple people are patiently awaiting my jams. I have not done them yet. So this week I will get it done. I have to make a batch of strawberry and a batch of strawberry jalapeno. I have to start thinking towards the holidays too. Even though I am not eating it, I still like to make treats for others. I found these fancy looking cupcake tins called Tulips. I found out later that they are not very new but they are new to me. They were selling in the discount store. I bought a bunch for really cheap but I think I am going to go there later and grab a few more. $2.50 for a box of 12. I know that I could make them myself if I got it into me to do so. I eventually will but for now I like the colored ones that I found at the store. They are neat because they make your treats look fancy and they have the benefit of a corner to pick up your cupcake with so you do not mess up the frosting. Pretty handy.

  Except for one day where I punked out, I have been going to the gym on a regular basis. My friend A and I signed up about two weeks ago. I have been almost 3 times a week but shooting for four times. I want to do Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Fridays. Give myself Thursdays and the weekends to relax. The trainer at the gym said four days is a perfect amount of time. You want to give your body at least three days of rest. I am trying the dreaded elliptical. That bitch hurts! I can only do like three minutes on it but I am going to do it every single day. I do the treadmill, the stair climber and the elliptical. Then I choose a muscle group to work on. I am there a little bit over an hour now. I started to lose my way with the eating. I was eating things that I shouldnt. I ate some greasy stuff that made me really sick and I had some other foods that shot my blood sugars through the roof. I have learned my lessons. I know that I cannot be perfect and there will come times where I will want to eat some things but definitely staying away from fried foods, whole milk dairy, and wheat. Since I started this, I noticed that whenever I eat wheat, I get this phlegm thing going on afterward. I sometimes start gagging, I am guessing a wheat sensitivity.  All is a learning process. So far I have lost 24 pounds.

  I think I told you all about the at home sleep study that I did for sleep apnea...? I am not going to go back and look so I will assume I have. Insurance wouldnt pay for full on sleep study in the hospital so I had to have a monitor to bring home. I went last week to find out the results. Girlfriend needs a C-pap. Most of the time those home tests do not show the full fledged severity of your apneas. Mine did OR mine are so bad that even the home shit picked it up. Doctor said that I stopped breathing 48 times an hour. That is like almost every fucking minute! My oxygen saturation is supposed to be 100% to the upper 90s. Mine would dip down into the 80s on more than a couple of times. So they sent me across the hall at that very moment and set me up with a machine. I have been using it since Wednesday. I have not kept it on the whole night yet but the longest so far is five hours. It will take some time getting used to. I wake up a little bit freaked out and take that shit off. One night I talked myself out of it in my half sleep, left the mask on and went back to sleep. I have the full face mask because I am a mouth breather. I am trying to overcome the feeling of being trapped as in claustrophobic. I have read that in time, it does go away. The full face mask is best for me because I move around alot in my sleep, I am a mouth breather, and I like to sleep on my side. So I need to overcome that shit.
  Lots of news and little links to click on. I have been busy with the yard this week, that is why I have not been around more. Once winter settles in, I will post more. You all know how I do things.
Enjoy the rest of your lovely September 2013.

First day back

*255*

  Today was my first time back at the gym in way over a year. The place has expanded, upgraded and I like it. They have new machines, new free trainers and I can see myself being able to do this at least 4 times a week. I went with my friend, A. She signed up too because she realizes that she needs to get healthy again. It is going to be a long road for both of us but we can do it. I may have a bit of a leg up on her on it but that doesn't mean she couldn't catch up in the coming months. I will be her cheerleader and make sure she does not over do it but also that she does not slack off either.
 I plan on going Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. and maybe Friday but either weekend day. So I might do five days.  We shall see. But this is what I want to work up to. I am not going to kill myself just yet.
 Today I am eating something new. I bought Egg Beaters egg whites. My lunch is a country scramble with onions, yellow peppers, cherry tomatoes, a tablespoon of pesto, and daiya cheese.  It actually tastes pretty good. I have a side dish of cucumber, tomato, and onion salad. Trying to round out the meal.
I need to go. I have some food to eat, paperwork to fill out, and laundry to do.
Have a nice week!

Hot steamy days and Cool Autumn nights

*259* <---that is right. Not a typo!

    A warm September Sunday brewing. Not sweating but it could happen.  I do not care because the air conditioner is going out of the window. I want fresh are to blow through until I have to close up shop for the winter. We are getting a new to us couch to replace the disgusting dog love seat. Ruby killed it through her puppyhood and now it is a sad stinking mess. It is going out on the back patio with the AC. We will be doing a dump run probably sometime in October. Someone we know has to leave their apartment because they cannot afford it so they are giving us their couch. It is not spectacular but it is good enough until we have the floor done and replace it. If it has good springs in it, we will keep it for the basement man cave.
  I am in a good mood today. I am going to re-arrange the living room to accommodate the new couch. I have plans on Friday to buy the paint for said living room with all the crap you need to paint. Need to get it done. Floors in October hopefully. The living room is going to be a slate colored grey and the kitchen and dining room are going to be like a peacock blue. Something really out there. I like bold colors with white trim.
   The journey of health is doing well. I have lost a total of 15 lbs in a month. I had a couple slip ups. I learned my lesson though. I have purified my gastrointestinals to the point that if I eat certain things, I will be spending the better half of the day on the crapper. Blue cheese dressing is one of those things. Basically I have deemed all commercial salad dressings off limits to me. I will stick with my red wine vinegar and sometimes a small bit of olive oil. I had a pumpkin iced coffee and asked for one pump of the syrup, no sweetener, and two creams. There was way more than one pump. I had to take a shot of insulin when I came home. I still have not eaten any junk food or take out food at all. I have tested the waters (and failed) with some things that would be deemed ok with me. I tried those small corn tortillas to have tacos with..FAIL. I tried a low carb pita thing made especially for low carb eaters...FAIL. I tried brown rice...you guessed it. I am thinking I will have to wait until I have lost a significant amount of weight before I can introduce low carb options when it comes to rice, bread, and pasta. Maybe after I lose 100lbs.
  I will have the cash next week to buy sneakers and sign up for the gym. Once I introduce regular exercise into the mix, the pounds will drop the fuck off. 15 lbs in a  month with no real exercise but just moving around more. Imagine what that will be with an hour of formal exercise a day at the gym plus the stuff I do around here.
It will be so amazing..I hope.

  I need to wrap this up. I have some cleaning to do before the new couch arrives. You have a great Sunday!
 

Grill is built!

Aussie brand charcoal grill

*263*

 She is built! I started her off with the wheels that were a pain in the ass 3 years ago. After that, Hubs came in and helped because some of the work was a two man job. We will christen her this weekend with BBQ rib tips and chicken. Yummy!

 I wanted to tell you about two new apps that I added to my phone. One is called MyFitnessPal and it helps you track your daily exercise and food. You tell it how much you want to lose and it will tell you how many calories you need to consume and burn. Plus water consumption. I started it yesterday. Pretty cool. You can add friends from Facebook so you can track theirs and they can track yours.
  Then I added another app called Sworkit. It is a circuit training app. You want to do some abdominals in 5 minutes. It will give you an exercise, actually has a video to show you what to do, and then it times you while you do it. Nice, huh? I will be trying that one out. I thought I would share. Maybe you all would like to try them too. They are free to download.

I am gonna get off now. I am in a cleaning jag and I know it will die down soon and then I will be Mrs Lump. So have a great week.

It is all about ME

*267* <----this is gonna end NOW!

  No more going up on the scale dammit. I said no junk food and we have spoiled that rule time and time again. Well it is a new day. I have a new agenda in life. I am all about ME now. I will do for Hubs but it is just the two of us now. Edit Edit Edit!

 So I need to get back on track with the eating better, getting exercise, purging the house of all this crap, and try to find a small pinch of energy at the end of the day to be able to hold a conversation with my husband without falling asleep. This bitch is tired!

Gotta edit so nobodies feelings are hurt and I am not ostracized in my own house. Whoever told them..I hope you develop a severe case of crotch rot that is resistant to antibiotics!

What in the hell

As fattening as they are, those look tasty

*265*

  I change my eating habits and I gain 2 lbs. That sucks rocks. I was expecting to see some lowering of the scale. I definitely have not been eating any of the stuff in the picture. Keep on keeping on I guess.
  My movement uptake has improved. Yesterday was a busy day. I have my morning shit to do then I helped Chelsea clean out the garden beds and add a whole wheelbarrow`s full of compost to top them off. That required slinging a shovel. We were one of the last beds to be cleaned out. They emailed us to basically clean it or lose it. It has been *so not feeling it *kind of Spring planting weather because it has been cold so many of us at the garden waited.  But it is all cleaned out now. She planted her herbs and lettuce. I will plant two tomato plants in the other bed for her and the rest of the space is for her and her friend to use all season. I will come and water for them in the summer. You need to do that every single day when it is hot out.
 On Sunday, I cleaned out the entire front yard. bagged about 6 bags and they all went to the dump. I even dug up this pesky thorny rose weed that I have been just dealing with for years. I have to finish up the small side area where the oil pipe is (that is where they put the oil into the house). I did much other there but there are alot of baby trees I need to pull up.

  Technically, I have not been exercising but I have been doing alot of shit. Loads of laundry up and down the stairs. Cleaning house and such. I am doing more than I used to do so it should show something but it  has not yet. That is okay. I will keep it up.


I hate the blue color sample that I chose for the kitchen. I have decided it is too dark. I want this room to be blue but not that one. My kid`s friend suggested that I paint all the walls white. I explained to him that I lived in apartment`s my entire life until we bought this house 15 years ago. Even as a child. And they all had white walls. I decided that I was not going to have one white colored wall in my house as long as I was living.  Now, when it comes time to sell, we will paint all the walls white. Better for selling. But not now. Hell to the no. So it is back to the drawing board on that color. I like the gray that I picked for the living room. Next time I have some extra cash, I am going to buy the paint in that color and get moving on it.

 As for what am I going to do today. I think I will finish the side yard stuff and bag it, clean the messy assed kitchen, TRY and tackle this massive amount of clothing that has been left near the front door of the basement, and clean the living room. I also have four basil plants that I am going to put in the big pot out front. I hope they grow massive!
Yup, it is lazy children week here at my homestead. Like I do not have enough to fucking do. I definitely want to get the yard work done before tomorrow. Going to finally rain here for the next couple of days.

 Hope you have a nice week ahead. I know I will try!

Goodbye, sweet food of youth

Tomorrow is May Day

*263* <----official from the Dr`s office scale

 My A1C from the last time I was at the Dr office was 9. That is bad! Very bad. I had the blood test done again this morning so hopefully it will be much better.
 I have been bitching and moaning for so long about losing weight but never doing anything about it. After my appointment today, I realize that I have to so that I can live longer with less suffering.

 I am not going to worry about the exercising right now, as I have been told. He said the yard work that I am doing is good. Since my calf has been bothering me, I need to ease into exercise at first by upping my daily movement.
 Today for lunch, I had nothing because I am stupid and coffee was about it. For lunch (after appointment), I had a 3 egg omelet with onion, chorizo, and American cheese with a sliced tomato on the side. I am defrosting boneless chicken for dinner. I have no idea what I am going to do with it at all.
 I can feel the eyes rolling from a couple certain bitches out there. If you cannot be supportive, go stalk somebody else`s page, heifer.

  Going to eat small amounts of carbs, lots of fruits and veggies, meat and dairy are good. Eggs will save me! And lots of water and sugar free beverages. No pizzas, fries, chips, candy, cakes, ice cream...anything with sugar is a NO.  One of my friends added me to some group that is all about sharing ideas, exercises, and the like. I am just reading right now. I am not ready for any tear inducing Ab challenges. If I can take a daily walk without dying, I will be good.

This is all I am going to say about this today. I am letting it sink in. So far my sugars are in the normal range. I think that is how I will steer this. Normal sugars mean feeling better and not falling apart.

Spring Cleaning in my coat

One of my maple trees..Spring Buds

*263*

It is flipping cold out there today!
  I have a busy Sunday ahead of me. I am going to do some yard work that will not kill me and I am going to take my first walk of the season with Fred this evening around 6pm. Sun will still be out but it will be nice.
  I took the dogs out as per usual this morning and I started to trim bushes in the yard that I had not done previously this year yet. Over the years I have forgotten names of things and it is embarrassing because i used to be so good at that. I have a lilac bush, a hydrangea, two azaleas, two rose of sharon (i have a couple babies growing in other places to fill in spots), and a large butterfly weed.
 I have really neglected my yard over the past couple years because I just have not felt very well. I have a lot of catching up to do. Today I am going to trim all the bushes except for the lilac and the azaleas. They both have to wait until after they have bloomed. I want to get some sort of order going in my life and that yard is the perfect place to start. Once we get the loan for the home improvements, I will be too busy on the inside to think about the outside. This year, I am going to plant some tomatoes and some herbs..definitely basil. Low key on the veggie growing this year because I will be busy. I do not want to neglect my plants anymore. So today I am going to change into some warm clothes and I am going to trim bushes and rake the rest of the crap in the front yard. I will have my trusty pain in the ass dog, Ruby by my side.
 Fred has been walking the bridge with his friend every Sunday. I am not ready for that much of a haul so we are going to start slow with our old mile walk in the neighborhood. Doing it in the evening and starting now before it gets hot. I want to be a bit conditioned before than. Let`s hope and pray that I do not fuck up my feet again!

I hope you have a nice Sunday and that it is full of sunshine and warm breezes.

Ahh! A breeze

Perennial Sweet Peas

*270*

   It has been breezy and nice and that is why my ass has not posted. I have been out and about in the nice weather! I picked those sweet peas yesterday. They grow up the front porch. I like to pick the little bouquets and have them in the bathroom. Pretty soon I will be picking some hydrangea from the top yard. I am done flouncing about outside trying to even out my farmer`s tan.  It is going to get hot in the next couple days so I decided to stay in and get shit done. I want to make some strawberry jam today and clean out the food pantry. I said I was going to do it yesterday but Fred has been home and he can get me easily distracted.
  We did not survive the low carb diet so we are trying again. I am such a quitter. I could quit smoking but I cannot quit the damn bad carbs. What is up with that?
We have been eating healthier AND I stayed away from the fries that I made for the kids. Last night I made baked panko tilapia, breaded mushrooms, and sweet potato fries. I had one piece of fish and some mushrooms. Later on came and I was starving. It is the starving part that gets me.
 I need more food to combat the fact that I am not eating hardly any carbs. I am going to start again today. One day it will fucking stick. I am not giving up.
 I WILL CONQUER THE CARBS!
  I have to make a decision. Every month $41 is taken out of the account to pay for three gym memberships. Nobody goes to the fucking gym. I just had to pay an additional $30 for my yearly maintenance fee on my membership! I do not ever go! I mean like never ever go. It is not expensive to join and it is only $10 a month for each of theirs and $20 for mine. I want to cancel them all. That will be an extra $41 a month in the budget. If they ever want to sign up again, they can.
So I need to think..Should I do it?
Unfortunately because the memberships are in their names, I have to take them to the place and they have to cancel it. I cannot do it!! So it will be a big cluster fuck of them saying, *why dont we go?* *Let`s try it again!*
No! You all (including me) have not been going for over a year! And in all that time I have been paying $41 a month. I am done. Go take a walk! Do the exercise games we have in the house.
It is like I am yelling at myself, huh?

Anyway...I am going to get going. I have another cup of coffee to drink and then much to do before the heat comes back to render me useless.

Until next time......

Back to the Gym

Bitch can eat ice cream!

*271*

My *period* from the ablation is just about over. It has been more then a week and I still need to wear a pad but it is lessened enough that I think by the weekend it will be over. Hopefully! I am tired of it!
 Natalie and I are going to go back to the gym again. Part of the reason why I would not fully commit to the gym, I am assuming, is because of my period. I would get on a roll of going 2-3 times a week and then my period would come and I could not go for an entire week. Then I would get lazy. It screwed with the schedule. I want to see if by not having my period anymore, will I still find an excuse?
Or will I be going every week?

My back is acting up as I have said. I know that if I gently work the muscles in my back again, I should be fine. That is one of the major reasons people get herniated discs. They do not have strong back muscles. You have to especially work them after the surgery because the muscles have been cut.  There was a point where I had major difficulty walking up stairs. Fred had to walk behind me My back was so weak that I could not conquer the staircase. I need to go to the gym and I need to walk again.
Now, I may punk out and be back here whining. Those of you that read here know me well enough by now. I have the WANT to do it just not the DRIVE. But now that bloody nile chapter of my life is over, I think it is the perfect time to get into some shape. At least strengthen my back again. I will do it slowly. I am not going to be out there walking 2 miles up hill straight off the bat.


So let us hope that I go, I work it, I lose some inches, and I get a muscley back..as gross as that sounds. LOL

Gym Gym Gym!

*266*

   I did it! I finally went to the gym after eons. I went by myself though. Natalie was going to go with me but when I woke her up this morning at 830am, she wasn't having it. I dropped Chelsea off at work at 930am and I was there in a flash. The place is double in size of what it used to be and they have put all machines that perform similar functions in one area. They have more treadmills also. They also have some new machines I have never seen before and wouldn't even know how to climb on. I stayed for an hour. I did 15 min on treadmill, 10 min on the stair climber (and that KILLED ME) and the rest of the time on the arm and stomach machines. I feel good. It makes me feel like I need to start walking again. I am kind of afraid to because of what happened to my feet the last time. That was a year of healing. Knock on wood! My feet feel good now. Both of them do. I want to go to the gym tomorrow or even walk but we shall see. I have many things to do that day.

  Tomorrow is Valentine`s day. I have to go to the hospital at like 830am to have an ultrasound and bloodwork. I am not looking forward to either. Last time I got my blood done at the hospital, I left with a huge bruise. HUGE! It took two weeks to heal. I have to also drink 36 oz of water an hour before and make damn sure I hold it in. I cannot pee. That reminds me when I was pregnant with the girls. Trying to hold water while a baby is stomping on your insides. I think my 43 year old bladder will be okay..let us hope. LOL
  Chelsea`s birthday is on Wednesday so I have to make her cheesecake tomorrow also. Nice big cheesecake with strawberry sauce. She will enjoy it. She wants to go to Chili`s for her birthday. I doubt I can afford it but I will have to try. Ugh!

 I have to say that I was shocked to find out that Whitney Houston had died on Saturday. You always hope that she would have stayed off the drugs and gotten better. There is talk that she drowned in a bathtub after taking Xanax. I guess that will come out in the wash. I remember seeing her on MTV. She was so beautiful. She sang so strong and wonderful. She had a rare gift. She had a presence. The memory of who she was will always be there.
That is who I will remember.

It is my anniversary!!

*270*

 It just dawned on me that I have not posted anything in a bit. I need to stop being so neglectful.
  November 14 was the one year anniversary of this blog. Yeah! I know that there are 19 of you visible and a couple more that just read. I always wondered how many there truly are of you. I hope I have not bored you all to death!
Today is the two year anniversary of my back surgery and being a ex-smoker! Woohoo! I have not smoked one cigarette since that last one. I am not going to lie. I have been tempted. And now that my youngest is smoking (MY BRAND!), it was hard at first but now it is no big deal. I do not want one 99% of the time.

   Last year at this time I thought I weighed 283 but later on we figured out that I really weighed 293 and probably more then that sometimes when I was not paying attention.  I have not stepped on a scale in a week but I know I am in the lower 270s to upper 260s. So I have lost 23 lbs since I started whining to you all. Damn, you would think fatty would have lost more then that. Huh? I hear of people losing a 100lbs or more in a year and I accomplished that. I will take it though but I wish it was alot more.
 I know now that the Actos was sabotaging my weight and so was my scale. Once the inches started to fall off and my clothes were getting looser, I was getting more motivated.  I get motivated when I see men look at my cleavage (yup, I am a slut. LOL), I get motivated when someone calls me Miss instead of Maam. I get motivated when a woman tells me I could not possibly have an 18 year old and then is shocked that I have an almost 23 year old. I get motivated when I got carded at the liquor store. That was a good one.
I see that my hair is longer and thicker. No more wispy wispys on top of my head. I dress better, I walk with more confidence, and I am trying to get myself together inside and out.
It may only be 23 lbs but what about this year? It could be another 20 or another 40 lbs. I have always been a slow like a turtle loser, even when I was young and lost a ton of weight. It is better on your skin anyway. It has time to TRY to snap back.


So what are my goals for this year?
I still want to weigh 210. That has not changed one bit. Now that my feet do not hurt anymore (thank you!!), I want to get moving. This puppy has got me moving my ass in ways I do not remember but I want to have a conserted effort to really work on my muscles. Abs. Back. Legs. Arms. I do not want to be skinny mini..never want that. Too much work for a former fatty to stay skinny skinny. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and not have to wear Spanx with a dress!

Skinny! and the Lime green shirt

I wish!

*270*

End of being sad for now because of a Lime Green shirt!

   Two years ago I started on my saga of dressing better and hopefully I would lose weight. It was in the Summer that I found this long sleeved, light fabric shirt in lime green with medium sized crystals on the chest. I should take a pic cause the description makes it seem puka-licious. Believe me. It is a gorgeous shirt. It is size XL but I think it runs a tad larger. It fit me perfect. Maybe a little snug in some areas but it was perfect. Well, I wore it a couple times and then it was too hot to wear it so it was put away for summer. When Fall came around last year, I tried it on and it did not fit. It was snug everywhere and very unflattering. Most women would have tossed it in disgust. Not me. I put it away. I figured one day.

  Fast forward to now. I have been sorting all my clothing and putting summer stuff away and digging out winter. I have been trying stuff on to. Well I found the Lime green shirt. I did a quick try on and it fit me. I knew it probably would and I hung it up. I really did not TRY it on until yesterday.
Fred and I were going out to lunch yesterday. I wanted to wear my new winter clogs so I picked a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans (they were in the pile too) and my Lime green shirt. Girl! Not only were the jeans loose but the shirt was BILLOWY! It flowed around me! I went from it being snug as shit all over last winter to having me float in it now!
WTF is going on!! I am so glad my Dr. took me off that Actos (diabetes drug). The weight just keeps melting off.
Look, I think my scale has been bad for awhile. Like by 10lbs. So it was saying 270...I was really 280-something. When I was 290-something..I was 300-something. Well, the scale at the gym said 270 on the dot. That means my scale at home would be saying 260 (if she could speak). So I lost 10 lbs somehow along the way!
  Natalie and I are going to the gym tomorrow. We want to keep it up and see if we can do it at least 3x a week. I want to lose another 10lbs. OMG! If I keep all this up, could weighing 200lb become a reality?
No wonder my boobs have been drowning in my bras lately..they are too big!! I know, I know. TMI!!

Okay, enough of this. Breakfast is cooking and I need to finish working on it.