Ear Progress

 My appointment with my ENT is on Friday afternoon. I wanted to give you an update on how I felt. There are times when the incision still hurts. The whole thing will be sore. Fred will look at it and he says it is fine. I am past the point of any infection. It was sewn in a folded manner or so it feels so it is a very noticeable scar. I guess as time goes on, you wont see it when I pull my hair back. But now you can. The outside of my ear is still numb. I am wondering if that is it. Is this how it will always feel? I am not sneezing or coughing up anymore yucky debris either. All of that is gone. As for the leaking out of my nose. It is still doing it but not as much as before. I will let him know. It is probably nothing. I do not feel run down like I used to.  If infection can make you not want to do anything, then I bet that was a small part of my problem. I am still not a well chica by any means but I am able to do more now. We do not even know how old the infection was. Crazy huh?

  Look what I saw this morning when I was out warming up the Jeep. It was kind of raining kind of snowing but it was too warm for it. And the sun was out so I caught myself a pretty rainbow. It didn't last long. Maybe five minutes. Made me smile this morning. I wanted to chase after it and get some of that gold everyone keeps talking about.

  It is in the upper 40s today. Sun is supposed to stay out. No heat has been turned on for the past couple days. Loving it.
I made the strawberry jalapeno jam yesterday. I wanted to let you know that if you wanted to make it, you use a standard strawberry jam recipe but add in 7 jalapenos minced in food processor. Now, I used the whole of all seven. Seeds and all. You could do it that way or you could have a couple with seeds and clean the rest. It is up to you how hot you want to make it. My friends that love hot said it was really good jam. I am sorry to say that I fucked up the regular strawberry jam though. Too much sugar in a batch of not enough fruit. Plus I was tired and my back was hurting. Not paying attention.  I did not toss it. I canned it for OUR consumption. I will make more this week. I get paid tomorrow so I can replenish the strawberry, sugar and pectin. I have to make a decision on the marmalade anyway. I have to work on the kid`s gifts, I need to buy gift bags, and I have to deliver the jam after I am done with it. I am told that I have to save the money from this time around. I balked at it for a bit but I understand. I need to save money. My plan is to save at least $100 a week. I could save more but I am starting there.
I think my mind is all over the place today because Xmas is not very far away and no body else has made any gifts. I feel that if I am the only one that made an effort, what was the point? I had said in the beginning that i did not want to do gift exchange anymore. One kid suggested we make home made gifts. I ran with that. I see that I am the only one that is doing it. No body has brought any supplies in the house or asked me for cash to buy supplies. I will do what I planned to do but I feel that I will be the ONLY one with not a present under the tree. Kind of sad, huh? As much as I do for this family, you couldn't bother to make me anything. If I get some hurried up card stock scribbled card, I think that would be worse than nothing. I will try really hard to be positive though. Very very positive!
  I hope you have got all your Christmas gifts under the tree. If not, that is okay. Not many people can celebrate like they used to. This is the first year that I have not bought one gift. I just cannot do it. Well, I could but then which bill wouldn't get paid?
I am going to wrap this up for today. I have both sinks full of jam covered pots and utensils. I told you my back hurt! :)
Now I pay the price. This will be tons of fun.

Took me awhile

No presents under there yet but soon

The tree is finally decorated. Natalie had put the majority of the ornaments on the tree but she forgot to put the beaded garland on. Too late now. I aint taking everything down to do that. The boxes of glass ornaments sat there for a week. Yesterday I finally gave in and put them on the tree. One year I was yard saling and this lady had a couple boxes full of old glass ornaments. Not just balls but Santas, a taxicab, and acorns. So many designs. She was getting divorced and the ornaments came from HIS Mother. Now she could have just thrown them away or broken them but she sold them. And now we enjoy them every year. I think we have had them for over 5 years now.  Milo has started climbing the tree again this year. He is our marmalade. He is going to realize that one day he will be too fat to do that. Oliver is trying to be oh so slick and steal a piece of bacon off my plate as I type this. Maybe I should stop now and pay attention to my brunch.

Today is definitely jam day. I totally misplaced the canner rack in the house. Fred and I could NOT find it anywhere and I used it like last month. I called around and found one a few towns over. It was a half hour drive both ways for Natalie and I. But I have the piece that is critical so that your jars don't crack in the canner from the heat. The strawberries are defrosting nicely. I think today will be the lavender jelly. Kitchen is clean. I just need to change my clothes, marinate the chicken for dinner and get moving.
 The strawberry jam and strawberry jalapeno will have to be done tomorrow because I am defrosting the shit now.
 I have to make 24 half pints for other people. Whatever is leftover out of the batches, is mine to can for us and I have a couple friends that would like some also. I have to make another batch of blood orange marmalade before the 19th but if they do not come out in the stores, I will just make orange ginger flavored. That is another 8 half pints of those for other people. I am getting compensated for my work. The money will help pay for Christmas dinner! This is my Sunday.
 I changed dinner plans last night and we had hot dogs on buns instead. Tonight will be roasted chicken breasts (on the bone) with mashed taters and string beans. It has been unseasonably warm here in my part of New England. No snow accumulations at all. I let the dogs out and it felt like early Spring. You know like late March/Early April where you still have to wear a sweater but it feels green outside. It is weird to feel that way in early December.
  Oh! I changed my post op appointment this week. I will be going on Friday instead of Tuesday. It was more economical for us to do that. It costs $25 in gas just for the trip up and back and I just wont have that on Tuesday. Plus paying the co-pay for the appointment.
Fred just came in with my 4 Sunday papers. There are two sets of coupons in each one. Two of the papers were given an extra sleeve of coupon. I have a shitload now but I know that is just a drop in the bucket. I have two objectives this week. I need to make a list of all the meals for dinner that I know how to cook and the family likes. Like a master list. I have to figure out if the printer is truly dead or did I flip a switch I cannot find (you know those printer switches that locks it when you are moving it), and I need to buy a binder and those plastic baseball card inserts. I have decided that I am not going to sort by area of the store but alphabetically. If I am looking for a coupon for Tide, I will go to the T section. Much easier for my brain.  I am also going to be meeting my niece and her family for dinner on Friday after my appointment. She is one year younger than me. The last time we saw each other was before I had Natalie. Over 20 years. I am not good with trying new things but after having been sick all year and surgeries..I think it is time for me to change. Fred, Natalie and I are going to her house for dinner. Chelsea has to work unfortunately. Hoping we have a nice time.

I also wanted to say that I have been back to weighing myself recently and it has steadily been 262. Booyah!
I know. That is a long way from being a super model of any caliber and I am not looking for that anyway. But very close to 250. I think I am going to go for a push to get to it for the new year. Once I am 250, I can fight that other 50 this year. I may be right were I am at right now in Dec 2013 OR I could surpass my goal. I just wanna be 210. That is good for me. That is all I ever wanted to be. I just need to get a good pair of walking shoes so I do not fuck up my feet again. I think that is what I am afraid of.

I have wasted a chunk of YOUR Sunday blah blah blahing along about me and what is going on. Hope you are having a great YOU today. Have a good one and enjoy the last of the weekend.
That is about it for my plans for today and the next coming days.

Christmas season 2012

I do not have the money or the want to go shopping today. I never liked the Black Friday thing. I went out one year with my neighbor. I hated every minute of it. We stood in line for hours for some thing she had to buy. At this moment, I cannot recall what it was. I just know that I realized that Black Friday was not for me.  I would rather sit here in my pjs with my coffee and eating a piece of berry pie. That is a post Turkey day breakfast of champions.
  I am not feeling the whole *decorate for Xmas* vibe today. I think I will put it off to the point that the girls will mention it and I will let them do it. I am still not all together with the healing still. Plus I think I am probably a little depressed. We are not buying gifts this year. There are a couple reasons why. The main reason is money. With the price of fuel and who knows what is gonna happen with the taxes, I just am not comfortable spending any money on extras. Then I am tired of the pressure of spending. You better get this! You better get that! You don't love your family if you don't! Up until today I have felt good about our decision. I am waffling today but I will treat it like any addiction and just say no!
 Chelsea was going to go to her friend`s family`s house for Xmas this year. I think because we were not giving gifts. Then I think she decided she didn't want to do that either. So she asked us all if we would be willing to make home made gifts for each other. I thought that was an excellent idea. I have NO idea what Fred is going to make. He is not crafty. I have no idea what I am going to make but I need to get moving on it because Xmas will be coming on quick! When I think of something, I will let you know.

  I had a long talk with Chelsea that involved tears on both our parts. I finally told her that Fred and I cannot sustain the household by ourselves. It has become difficult. She actually understood. She said that it is not fair that two people should be supporting five adults total (she is including Rainbow in that). I asked her why she never came to me and said this before. Why didn't she offer to pay rent sooner? She said some stuff but i think it comes down to the fact that she didn't want to spend her money. I really cried over what we were talking about. I have been full of stress all year long. Every month was the same as the last. Shoulders up to my ears because of bills and money.  She had a long talk with Natalie. She is going to get her to work either at her non profit or at a place that hires youth that her friend is a part of. Natalie needs to make her own money for her own shit and maybe fork over a $50 once a month to help with food.
 Chelsea wants to look over our budget with a pair of fresh eyes. I told her that I know there is plenty of money for all the bills and the food and to save. The major problem is I keep getting nickled and dimed. No one forks over any money for anything so a pizza night has become a luxury. That shouldn't be that way.  I think if she can figure it out that they can help us while they live here, we can all live comfortably until they both move on. If it were just Fred and I, it would not be an issue. We could afford to live more than comfortable. We would have extra to fix up the house. But when you have adults with no income asking you to pay for the contact lenses. Or another that does not give any money and they want you to spend $50 at the natural food co-op, you can see why I am poor every month. Right now, I have $25. That will put gas in the Jeep. I paid two bills and bought groceries so I am tapped out.
 The best gift I could get this year, is to be able to relax about the bills and get help with paying them.
I pulled out my Tightwad Gazette books and started reading again last night. I had put them down before because I was sick. Reading was hard with this infection in my head. Messed with my eyes. Now I can read again and I am reintroducing myself to it. I have a few ideas on what I am going to do to change that I will talk about at another time. Bulk food shopping is one of them.
  They are not gonna want any baked goods or food. That is not a real gift because I do that anyway. What the hell can I make???
 Soap. Candles. key chain. what??
  It is too late for me to start making things like quilts and such. I do not have enough time to make 4 of them. I will rack my brain over it today.

Stay safe if you are out there shopping with the lunatics!