I am not feeling the whole *decorate for Xmas* vibe today. I think I will put it off to the point that the girls will mention it and I will let them do it. I am still not all together with the healing still. Plus I think I am probably a little depressed. We are not buying gifts this year. There are a couple reasons why. The main reason is money. With the price of fuel and who knows what is gonna happen with the taxes, I just am not comfortable spending any money on extras. Then I am tired of the pressure of spending. You better get this! You better get that! You don't love your family if you don't! Up until today I have felt good about our decision. I am waffling today but I will treat it like any addiction and just say no!
Chelsea was going to go to her friend`s family`s house for Xmas this year. I think because we were not giving gifts. Then I think she decided she didn't want to do that either. So she asked us all if we would be willing to make home made gifts for each other. I thought that was an excellent idea. I have NO idea what Fred is going to make. He is not crafty. I have no idea what I am going to make but I need to get moving on it because Xmas will be coming on quick! When I think of something, I will let you know.
I had a long talk with Chelsea that involved tears on both our parts. I finally told her that Fred and I cannot sustain the household by ourselves. It has become difficult. She actually understood. She said that it is not fair that two people should be supporting five adults total (she is including Rainbow in that). I asked her why she never came to me and said this before. Why didn't she offer to pay rent sooner? She said some stuff but i think it comes down to the fact that she didn't want to spend her money. I really cried over what we were talking about. I have been full of stress all year long. Every month was the same as the last. Shoulders up to my ears because of bills and money. She had a long talk with Natalie. She is going to get her to work either at her non profit or at a place that hires youth that her friend is a part of. Natalie needs to make her own money for her own shit and maybe fork over a $50 once a month to help with food.
Chelsea wants to look over our budget with a pair of fresh eyes. I told her that I know there is plenty of money for all the bills and the food and to save. The major problem is I keep getting nickled and dimed. No one forks over any money for anything so a pizza night has become a luxury. That shouldn't be that way. I think if she can figure it out that they can help us while they live here, we can all live comfortably until they both move on. If it were just Fred and I, it would not be an issue. We could afford to live more than comfortable. We would have extra to fix up the house. But when you have adults with no income asking you to pay for the contact lenses. Or another that does not give any money and they want you to spend $50 at the natural food co-op, you can see why I am poor every month. Right now, I have $25. That will put gas in the Jeep. I paid two bills and bought groceries so I am tapped out.
The best gift I could get this year, is to be able to relax about the bills and get help with paying them.
I pulled out my Tightwad Gazette books and started reading again last night. I had put them down before because I was sick. Reading was hard with this infection in my head. Messed with my eyes. Now I can read again and I am reintroducing myself to it. I have a few ideas on what I am going to do to change that I will talk about at another time. Bulk food shopping is one of them.
They are not gonna want any baked goods or food. That is not a real gift because I do that anyway. What the hell can I make???
Soap. Candles. key chain. what??
It is too late for me to start making things like quilts and such. I do not have enough time to make 4 of them. I will rack my brain over it today.
Stay safe if you are out there shopping with the lunatics!
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