Boobs a-hoy

*233* <---so says the scale at the oncology dept and the vet scale (yes) at the kid`s job

  We will see how long this post will be. I just took my week Methotrexate for the PA and it can give you diarrhea and tummy upset. For me, it lasts about an hour or so. Not an all day affair. But every week can be a different saga. I am going to type and eat my antipasto salad while I wait for the pills to work their way through my gastrointestinals.

  The oncology appointment went well. She thinks my breast pain is hormonal. She did feel the ridge in my breast that was not there before. Probably just more denseness. But I am going to be having a MRI and Mammo of my boobs in February so if there is anything, they will see it and we will work accordingly. From here on out, I will have to be vigilant with my boobage. It sucks but it is a part of many women`s lives. I see the boob surgeon in February also. We will have a good round out of talking about my past surgery and how I am doing.

  So, my pressure cooker shit the bed. Something happened to the steam release button on the lid and it would not get up to pressure. Since my friend bought it on Amazon, it had to be returned back to Amazon. I do not know if I am getting another one. I am not asking about it. If I get one, I do. If I do not, it was fun while it lasted. That means no new recipes to share this week. But if you have a pressure cooker and would like to do some Indian Cooking, try this place called Two Sleevers. Tried and true recipes that are really goooooood. You will never need to go to an Indian restaurant again because you can make it all at home. You just have to acquire all the spices. Which shouldnt be so hard for  many of us. You either have an Indian grocery store (which I have) or you can shop online for what you need. 

  I am starting to feel the pill giving me an issue but so far, so good.

  I have been walking almost every day. There has been a bit of rain here in the Northeast so on those days I did not walk. With the flu season in full swing, I do not want to invite something I do not need. I did have a flu shot but you never know. I will walk later today after the pill has moved out of my system. One of my goals is to conquer our hill. Very steep hill in my neighborhood. My goal is to walk to the bottom, walk to the top, walk to the bottom, walk to the top until I do not feel like I may pass out.  Not really that hard but I want to utilize the hill for what it can give my stomach, hips, legs, and butt. Who needs to pay for a gym when you live in hilly New England?

  I had a job phone interview on Friday. It went well. The person said they will be calling people end of this week to set up in person interviews. I am staying positive and I am not going to be negative. But I am also being realistic. There are alot of people out there looking for work, especially office work. I just keep plugging along with my resumes and cover letters. One day something good will stick. My job is out there. I am going to a Business Advisory Council in February. Hopefully the people that will be there from HR departments will have some ideas on what I should do and whether they know of any places doing internships. I have to utilize all the tricks in my bag to try to land a job.

  I have a mega mess in the kitchen to clean. I am in my leggings, t-shirt, and sneakers. Dressed for walking but going to battle the dirty dishes. Today is Hubs birthday and I am going to try to cook something. We had dinner out last night but tonight is all about being inside and maybe playing a board game.

That is it. Pill is kicking in. If anything pops up, I will post again this week. If not, see you on Monday.


 
 

MLK Day doings and goings

*236* <---weighed on scale at Vet office. 


   I do not know how long this post will be cause I am in some amount of pain this morning and sitting still is not an option. I blame it on over doing it this weekend and the weather. This too shall pass. Look at me! Three weeks in a row. I am getting some kind of blogger momentum going, huh?  I and the man have to leave here in a few so I will be semi brief..maybe. We shall see how fast my fingers can fly.

  I wanted to first share a recipe with you. Last night, Kid #2 made Indian Butter Chicken in the pressure cooker. I went to the co-op to get garam masala because we did not have any more.  OMG this was soooooo good. She used coconut milk instead of regular milk. There was the butter in there but it was not enough to hurt my stomach. I had this nestled over a bed of salad. Now, this is a Instant Pot/Pressure cooker recipe. But I bet you that you can figure out how to make it if you do not have a pressure cooker. If you like Indian food, this is one is a keeper. This website shows all types of Indian recipes. I think I may have to make a trip across the bridge to replenish our spice stocks at the local Raj cash and carry.  Soooo gooooddddd!

I said so good twice so that means something.

  The job hunt for me has been slow and not so slow. I have been putting in my cover letters and resumes to many many job listings. My job counselor has been doing the same. I have not heard a peep from any of them. She told me that this time of year is hard to get a job. And when jobs come up, hundreds of people apply. I guess I have to be patient. But it is hard. I know I am doing everything correct. I am working on my skills at home with the internets help. Just have to be patient and send out those positive vibes I guess. I just want a little office job. I just want someone to give this old lady a chance.

   I had a long conversation with some people in the AIP community. I found a place that is actually nice and helpful. I was told that I might have histamine intolerance. This might be the answer to my itching. And alot of my other issues. Even my low blood pressure. It was like a lightbulb clicked on in my head. Eureka! I have found my answer to my problems. It is a really sucky outcome but I can work with it if it is going to make me feel better. They said that when I take a zyrtec, and it helps, that is histamine. It is in the foods that I eat. Now I cannot possibly do Keto, AIP, and Histamine protocol. That would be ridiculous. I can eat low carb and work on the eating lower histamine foods. You treat all the histamine foods like you do with the AIP diet. You eliminate them all, you wait a couple weeks, and you reintroduce them one at a time. The ones that give you a reaction are out, the rest can stay back in.  I have to type something up and print it out so that I can stick it on the fridge. There are alot of no no foods for me at this time. But I am tired of feeling like shit all the time.

  I have not been completely keto either. I dont feel like a failure about it though. I just have to try every day to get it right. Yesterday was actually pretty good. Except for the 4 hershey kisses that I ate in the evening. When you have three other adults in the house, you cannot really dictate what foods come in. I am not a dictator. I just have to not eat those things. What I need to do is eat more fat during the day. Then I wont be apt to fuck up in the evening time. Today is a clean slate.

  Okay. I think that is all I can do for now. I have been sneezing up a storm the whole time I have been typing this. I hope to GAWD that coffee isnt a histamine food.....*looking*..... I do not see coffee on this list or the last three I scanned. Probably something else.  I heard that dealing with HI is a major pain in the ass and it is a life long struggle.
Again...I need to get going over here. I hope you all have a lovely and productive week. I am going to do some more sorting of the ebay pile behind me. We are up for some snow either Tuesday or Wednesday. Hopefully it is not alot because that foot of snow we had is all gone now from the warm up last week.
I will see you next Monday.

Praise! It is 30 deg F!

*230-something* <---i have not stepped on a scale in a week or two so I really do not know. 


      We survived the Bombogenesis. Our little neck of CT received a generously heaping spoonful of snow. It was about a foot with nice snow drifts. The temps have been rock bottom too. Not been fun for my skin, I can tell you right now. I have been coconut oiling myself every day to combat the psoriasis and the old lady crepe from the heat being on constantly. Today is going to be in the 30s and by the middle of the week it will be close to 50. Be gone you evil snow.

   Today I have stuffs to do but I feel a little shitty so I will be going slowly while doing them. I think my head is a little fucked because of the barometer and we are supposed to get a little snow this evening. So if I can get out of my pjs, that will be a major accomplishment. One of the things we have to do today is our DNA. Hubs and I have two 23andme DNA kits aka the government has got your ass now kits. You have to not drink or eat anything for 30 minutes and then you spit in the tube and send them off. We get to see where we came from. I have always known that I am Polish, Italian, Swedish, and Norwegian. Now could my Polish grandmother have had some Jewish ancestry that we do not know about? I guess I will find that out in a few weeks. The girls at first were a little miffed because they did not get kits. Why should you both get kits when you have the same DNA? We, as your parents, can do it and you will get the same answer. *eye roll* I will share those results when they come in.

  My lofty plans of walking have been curtailed by the weather. My plan is to get out there tomorrow morning if it is not icy from the storm and I feel okay in the head. I have been fairly active the past few months so it isnt that I have to start slow or anything. I just did not want to freeze my tookas off. See, I could go to the Mall to walk but then I end up shopping instead. I could get a gym membership but you all remember how I paid for two years and never went once. Walking the hills of my neighborhood is the safer bet for me. My house is way too small for any exercise equipment. We tried when we bought a cheapo elliptical at Salvation Army. It worked great and it was a folding one. That shit sat in the corner. Got unfolded a couple times. Sat next to the tv set, mocking me because I never used it or even dusted it.  I have a couple walking routes that I have used in the past. I just have to get dressed and do it.

  Yo. The pressure cooker is the best thing ever. Myself and #2 have made about 6-7 meals in it so far since Christmas. I went out to Target and bought a rack to put it on. It has it`s own area by the kitchen window with it`s own plug. No need to move it off and on the counters. We have very limited counter space. We have a galley kitchen. Only room for 1-2 butts at a time. Anyway...the pressure cooker is really good. I made fork tender pulled pork in 1 hour and 30 minutes. What! And it tasted like it was cooking for hours. We cooked chili, a few soups, pulled pork, a chicken dish, hamburger dish, and all were good. You can find many recipes online for using the electric pressure cooker. I still say, if you do not have one..beg borrow or plead to get one.

   I had a revelation last week after posting here. I am not doing AIP and Keto. When I try to eat that way, I do not eat at all. I practically starving and I am not being literal. It is so hard to keep your blood sugars low but also stick to the strict Auto immune way of eating. You just cannot do it. Unless you have unlimited grocery resources and/or you have someone to cook for you. I just couldnt do it.  I have decided and started to eat keto but I am not going to eat certain foods like nuts and peanuts. I will eliminate all nightshades except tomatoes because they are life. And I am going to eat limited dairy. Sometimes I need it in a pinch if I am hungry but I will not seek it out and especially in large amounts. Back on track. Keto for me is the smart solution to alot of my medical problems.

  I had a birthday. Saturday I turned 49 years old. It was a good day. Of course it was not keto complaint but that was my last food thing until October comes around again. Hoping I am thin as a reed and have a stronger constitution by the time it is Halloween. We have a couple more birthdays coming up but I can say no to cake. I had my slice...okay two slices. It was Red Velvet and I was not gonna say no. Someone that is way young was shocked when he saw my FB post about turning 49. He said WTF! I thought you were 32!
He either does not know how to determine someones age or he needs a new eyeglass prescription. But I will take the compliment as the best present ever.

  Okay. I need to get going. I have to be a taxi today and I have to get out of this feeling like crap mode. I hope you have a wonderful week and I will see you on the next.

Learning the ways of the Empath

Sunrise from front porch

*227* <--i haven't weighed so I dont know..possibly 2 ton

  I had a difficult dream last night and it woke me up at 4am. I woke up the previous night at 5am. I have not had a nap so you can just guess how I feel. Kid #1 is going through some work stuff (she will be fine) but I think what is going on in her mind and heart has been presenting itself to me in my dreams. Sounds trippy. I know. I am not the trippy kind of gal. But I have had some revelations this past month. You will either believe it or you wont. I wont go deep deep DEEP into it because I dont want any of you to think I am completely off my nut. I am a Empath. I am highly intuitive. I have the gifts of Clairsentience and Claircogizance.  There is probably more to me in this realm but I dont really know.

   I will not get into the entire story because it would be just way too long. Long story short, I was invited and introduced to a Massage Therapist that could help me with my ongoing back pains. She is a friend of a friend. Remember how I never had a massage before. This was a whole new world for me. Like people have issues with strangers touching their feet for a pedicure, I had a issue with strangers rubbing my body. I decided to just do it. Have the experience and if I didn't like it, I wouldn't have to do it again. I was sent there not only because of my back. I was sent there because my friend knew. She knew that I was an empath and I needed to be told so. The massage therapist also has a degree as a psychotherapist. She felt very like home to me. She told me that I am a highly intuitive person. I am a Empath. I have to learn to ground myself. I have to learn to meditate. Yoga is out for now because of my arthritis. I have been reading and watching videos ever since.

  In a nutshell (nuts again), Empaths are sensitive to their surroundings more then other people. Some have some gifts, some have other gifts. We all do not have the same. All my life I have been able to tell when someone is lying. I do not like disingenuous or false people. They turn me right off and I can spot them 10 miles away. If you are a fake bitch, I want nothing to do with you. I can sense peoples emotions, intentions, and sometimes thoughts. I have been yelled at for finishing other people`s sentences. I can look at your face and know how you are feeling. My ability to sense negative energies or possibly spirits is in the realm of Clairsentience. That has been going on most of my life. I just thought it was a quirky trick and I helped friends pick out apartments that didn't give me the shivers.  I never really talked about these things before because 1. I dont want to be labeled as crazy. 2. It was just who I am. No need to announce something that is normal to me.  Until I found out I was a little extraordinary.

  Let me tell you a freaky story. I had done an application for that job that I want. But I never added a resume or cover letter because I did not know I was supposed to. I have not applied for a job in like 20 years. I also realized that I really messed up on the application. No one had called me so I decided to be proactive. I said to myself that I hope they did not see my other application. I had Kid #2 pick up another one for me. I filled it out the right way, did the resume and cover letter, and presented them two weeks ago while coming in to pay my bill. The lady that I always see up front remembered that I had brought another one in. I told her that I forgot about the resume and cover letter so I figured I would correct the situation. I asked out loud about it in the car after I left. All I wanted was a chance. Just a chance. If it is meant to be, please help me let that happen. Three hours later...I had a telephone interview. Come to find out, the lady up front brought my application to the back and  told the hiring manager and the supervisor to call me..interview me.  She and they looked for my first application. They could NOT find it. It was gone. I found this out the other day from her. (new billing cycle so I paid the bill). She said it was a good sign that I was called that quickly. She smiled at me in a way that let me know that I will probably get a sit down interview for the job.  So everyday I make it a point to ask my higher power/spirit guides to help me. If this job is meant for me to have, please let me be correct in my path. Help me with the interview. Calm my mind and spirit. Let them see that I would be the right choice. Sometimes coincidences arent coincidences at all.

  Ever since I have been told, stuff has been happening. Like I said, I am not going to get into it all because that would take too much time. But if I have a good story to tell that pertains to it, I will share.

  We have had a couple warm days and a string of really warm days are coming this week. I am sick of looking at the dirty snow. I will be glad to see it go. I have plans for this growing season and they are gonna happen! I have already committed to the three beds at the community garden this year. We will keep them at least this year. I dont know about next year, we will see. But since we are going to have some money to do things around the house, I want my garden beds in the front. Three long beds filled with compost. The front yard will have to be dug up and smoothed out first. Then I will buy lots and lots of wood chips to cover around the beds.  I want to be able to veggie garden in my Pjs. Once the weather gets warmer, we have some things that have to be done around the house. Most definitely have to have the outside spigot replaced. I havent been able to use it for two seasons cause we turned it off. It was leaking. That is going to be done. I will totally take pics on IG of the progress. I keep hoping for the warmer temps so I can start growing some lettuce and radishes!

  Kid #2 and I decided yesterday that we want a roasted chicken dinner today. I have to pick up a chicken this morning cause Hubby will put a dry rub on it to sit in the fridge for a couple hours. I am thinking of doing a cauliflower gratin to go with it. I will use almond flour in place of regular flour.  This recipe stands out to me. I have some stone ground mustard in the fridge I could use too. I will not use breadcrumbs. Mmmm! I have been bloated from corn chips yesterday. Dont ask. It was not a good day yesterday and as a family we went out to eat.  I have to realize that my kids are grown and I cannot be Mama bear all the time. Sometimes they have to walk their path alone, even if it is very hard to do. It is hard for me to. The kid will be okay. She will flourish in her life and her future. What has happened is just a stepping stone in her life.

 I am blathering because of lack of sleep! I need to take a nap but that will happen later while Hubs cooks the chicken. I hope you have a wonderful week. Especially this Sunday. Go out and enjoy some Vitamin D.
Namaste
 

Deactivate or Not Deactivate?

*219*


 That is the question of the day. I am struggling with possibly unplugging from Facebook for awhile. I spend way too much time on it and there is so much disgusting negativity. Not necessarily from my friends but their friends who like to leave troll like comments and think they are witty. They are not. I have been pretty surprised who many would probably love to meet The Donald and the model in person. That is far as I go with the political today. I feel like I need to protect myself from the negativity. It makes me feel gross and I dont like to feel that way on a daily basis. My dilemma is do I just stay away or actually deactivate. I have turned off notifications on my phone and my iPad for actual Facebook, which is nice. I feel that if I go complete cold turkey, I will fail.

   I left here, went to the grocery store, got a coffee, put everything away with the kid, and I am sitting down with an avocado, a pickle, and a big bowl of carrot tomato ginger red pepper soup puree. So good! I was given it on the day of my upper endoscopy and this is the last of it. So I will try to eat and type.

   The endoscopy was fine. I have the same erosive esophagitis (and duodenitis and gastritis) but it seems to be a little bit more. He did not need to stretch my esophagus open because there were no stricture. I will wait for the biopsy results like a good girl. I will probably have to take another zantac a day and something else while TRYING to stick to the no wheat, no eggs, no life meal plan. Everything is making me burp and feeling like I have to flush food or pills down with water on a regular is not fun. I love food. When I tend to cheat it is not hugely. Little bits here and there during the week. But those little bits are making it hard for me to lose weight. The more I lose, the better for me.

Yesterday I was presented with the opportunity to try little french macaroons.  *I do not have a picture of ours because we all gobbled them up before a good pic could be taken*. The ones I bought were very small, quarter sized. I chose the pistachio one and that was that. It was enough sugar to raise my bs up there. This is something I had always wanted to eat. I had one. I am happy I did. Next. So it is cheating like that. I either have to get over myself and these little food transgressions or....just get over myself.

   Tomorrow is a big day. We are having a Nor`easter. It is going to be an all rain event. But it will rain for two days and there will be wind. I hope our power stays on.  I will (hopefully) be getting my temporary MMJ card in email. I will have to call the dispensary to set up appt to have orientation and buy my first stuffs. I hear they have a nice lotion for rubbing on your aches and pains. I cannot wait for that. And I see the neurosurgeon here in my neck of the woods. I need an MRI of my neck and I want to get back to PT at some point. Crossing fingers that I have good experiences tomorrow.

Mmmm! Soup...

  I have been watching more Netflix lately. I have finished two tv show series so far. I really like Black Mirror and will be looking for new seasons. It gives you the right amount of creepy to make you uncomfortable but not so much that it is cringy. I really am a lover of Sci Fy. I finally finished The Magicians and I am told the new season starts at the end of this month. I always wanted to watch it but it was on late, my tv upstairs doesn't have a dvr, and I would fall asleep in the middle. So I never really knew if I really liked it. I really liked it! I have to see what show I want to watch next. I am trying to get into one of the Netflix Originals but I haven't decided which to dive into. I had really started to shy away from watching any tv series because my attention span sucked ass. It is still not the greatest but good enough to let me have some enjoyment. I guess watching all those YouTube videos helped out a lot.

It feels like Spring for reals. But it is still January. I have at least 2-2 1/2 months till I can really enjoy the kind of weather I crave. I have a literal shit ton of dishes waiting for me. SHIT TON! I have finished my soup, and my pickle. After I finish this, I will eat my avocado and get to working on that pile in there. Hubby is getting a massage right now so he will be no use to me for the rest of the day.

Signing off till next week. Have a good one.

Snow Bound-ish

*225* <---I thoroughly admit I ate stuff. Back on the wagon!

    I hate this computer. I really fucking hate this old ass Dell laptop. It deleted 1 and 1/2 paragraphs. Poof! Those thoughts are just gone. I wish I had a rich aunty so that I could have a fresh new Mac sitting in front of me. A huge ass desktop. It is like I am talking about it so that maybe Santa is real and will bring it to me. I will die holding my breath!


  Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. I am posting on a Saturday. It is snowing at a steady clip out there so we are in the house this morning. It will start to warm up (60s tomorrow..What!) and rain and melt. So we are gonna do our Saturday stuff tomorrow. I figured I am sitting here drinking my coffee, I could get this week`s blog post up. I am on my first cup so we shall see how coherant I actually am.

  I blame the weight gain on December and I had a coat on when I weighed myself. I have a local friend that eats Keto too and we had a good discussion about it. You eat healthy for all your meals and all day every day. But if something crosses your path like say a home made chocolate chip cookie..you eat it. Most keto people would blast me for that but that is their path and I have mine. If i do not relax about my food, this way of eating will become a issue for me. Hubs and I eat LCHF for all of our meals but since it is almost Christmas, if we are offered a small little something or I have to taste test a bon bon again and again and again, that is okay. For us. On another note, I can feel my collarbones. Yay!

  I have talked about Christmas dinner on here before but I have to type it out so I can look at it. I am getting no help with decision making. This is like a list that I can stare at and add to. I already have the ham. Yesterday I picked up a shrimp ring and that is in the freezer. We talked about doing brie cheese with crackers. This may or may not be wrapped in filo dough.  I also will do a small veggie platter with bodacious onion dip. I want a small batch of my pasta sauce with sausages braising in it. Mashed potatoes and mashed cauliflower of course. I am gonna probably do garlic green beans. We all want a repeat of the roasted bacon and brussel sprouts. ummmm. There was talk of a small veggie lasagna but that is too much work. Maybe for the new year. That is four sides. I will only eat like two of them cause I dislike green beans. I need to figure out another veggie side. 

  Of course, because of the work that we had done on the Jeep, money is tight this month. TIGHT! I have to wait till Friday December 23rd to go shopping for our dinner. Yup. And that is the same day that I go to Providence for my follow up with the transplant gastro. The train leaves at like 536am. I get into Providence at 7am. My appointment is at 830 am. It is just a follow up so that could be a half hour or so. I take a Uber back to the train station. The mall is right across the street. My train doesn't leave until noon so I will see if I can find a gift or three. Home by 1pm. Then I have to go to the grocery store and the pharmacy. I will be okay. I will have a list! I have shopped during worse times. I do hate too many people all in one place though so I may need an extra Ativan later.


  Oh yeah, the appt with the gut doctor. First off, his scales are off by like 8lbs and I love that. I weighed 215 at his office on Monday. I know they are wrong but it boosts your ego a little bit. So, he says that we have to wait for the cdiff to be gone before we can see if I have MC. When you are infected, a biopsy cannot tell you if it is UC, MC, or colitis from the cdiff. He showed me the results from a biopsy before that he gave me, before cdiff, and the MC was negative. It doesn't mean it isn't positive now but I have to wait for a clean biopsy. So probably sometime in January, we will do a colonoscopy and upper endo to check to see how everything is. I do feel like mega shit with foods. It could be colitis or it could be the healing process. I will have to just be patient.

 This Monday, I go to the spine center. I know that I will have to do another MRI but on my upper spine and neck. If whatever I have wrong is not immediately dangerous, I want to do PT, anti inflammatories, walking, and swimming if I can find a place that is close. That is all I will say on this for now cause I have no clues as of yet. 

  I miss Lu but it is getting better. It was hard this morning cause she was my little snow bunny. Perl wont go out. Ruby will just go out on the edges by the house to do her business. Lu would go right out in it, walk around, poop and pee, and come back looking like a dirty snow ball. I don't want another dog to replace her. I am leaning towards a kitten but not now. It will be a long while before that happens. But I would like another black cat. We haven't had one in 5-6 years. It is time. 

Coffee is cold, dishes are dirty, and I have said enough this morning. I hope you have a great Saturday. Get your shopping done!

Oliver looking at the storm