tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5447919984382487242024-03-14T04:15:56.002-04:00A Long Day`s Journey....Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.comBlogger840125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-75892516808520125452018-06-05T08:17:00.003-04:002018-06-05T08:17:33.222-04:00Breast Cancer Sucks..Depressing post. You have been warned. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YNjGst8YEds/WxZ7G5cTHTI/AAAAAAAAFNo/hEGSpzq6FrwKp09Fj5TF8GVyBZMVt53nQCLcBGAs/s1600/34258959_589229971475549_4609126119134724096_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="359" data-original-width="500" height="286" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YNjGst8YEds/WxZ7G5cTHTI/AAAAAAAAFNo/hEGSpzq6FrwKp09Fj5TF8GVyBZMVt53nQCLcBGAs/s400/34258959_589229971475549_4609126119134724096_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
*230*<br />
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Breast Cancer sucks. The end.<br /><br /> I have been waiting to find out what my treatment plan is going to be. I have to wait for the genetic score of my tumor before it can be decided. I found out yesterday that the latest that it will be ready is June 15th. I have been very silent and holing myself up because it is just too much to deal with. I saw the oncologist last week and I asked what my treatment options looked like. Because the cancer moved into the lymph node, I could be seeing some type of chemo.<br />If my score is 0-17, I will have radiation for 5 1/2 weeks (Mon-Fri) and hormone blockers for 5 years. 18-25 is a grey area but because my cancer acted off (should not have gone into the node) I will have to do 4 rounds of chemo (Taxol) every 3 weeks, radiation, and hormone blockers. If it is 26 and above...6 months of chemo (two types), then radiation, and then the hormone blockers. Yup. Now you know why I have been very quiet. I have fucking cancer dreams. And if one more person tells me not to worry, I am gonna knock them out. No one who has ever had cancer has said that to me. It is always someone that never had it or any bad illness. Think about it. You are told you have a cancer that will basically never go away and it kills people. I was told my cancer was survivable. If that isnt a mind fuck, i dont know what is.<br />
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Then I had a whole issue with our health insurance. I dont want to get into it but basically some illegal stuff happened and I was dumped from hubs work plan by the insurance company. But we were helped by the company insurance dude. We all have insurance now and it is actually going to be a better benefit for us in the long run then the company option. The only thing that sucks is I have no dental insurance. A diabetic with no dental. Isnt that lovely? A cancer patient with no dental. I will be losing teeth, I bet.<br /><br /> I literally have nothing to say. Well I do have things to say but I wont say them. I am dealing with some family stuff (not anyone in the house) that I would love to share but I fear that one or two of them read here and I am not gonna add fuel to that fire. Not that I care at this point. I have other things to contend with over that. See how I didnt tell you anything but I did tell you something. LMAO. Yeah, I am not in a good place right now in my head. I try to keep myself busy and that seems to make it less about the cancer at times. I am praying that it is only radiation. Low numbers please. I dont think I will survive 6 months of chemotherapy and I am not being dramatic. With my stomach issues and diabetes...plus she said my cdiff will probably come back because chemo gives you infections.<br /><br /> Enough of that. This is a super depressing post and I am sorry for that. Go watch a kitten video or something to wash this shit from your brain. Once I know what is going on, I can process it better and face whatever is coming my way. Right now I just cannot. But I felt I should post something so the 2 of you and the Bot would know what was going on.<br />
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I am going to go back into my hole now.Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-9138261986914580512018-05-21T08:09:00.000-04:002018-05-21T08:09:01.679-04:00One week later<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-le9OBY0gkjA/WwKxLU3v28I/AAAAAAAAFMA/hYDWy9aLn-A5sAUjAwEAdKqHRcxpANVBwCLcBGAs/s1600/33081624_10157608214288298_6488554840942182400_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-le9OBY0gkjA/WwKxLU3v28I/AAAAAAAAFMA/hYDWy9aLn-A5sAUjAwEAdKqHRcxpANVBwCLcBGAs/s400/33081624_10157608214288298_6488554840942182400_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">one of four types of hosta in my yard<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>*230*</b><br />
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<b> </b>I am here. I am alive. I assume you know that because I am still posting on IG. Today is one week since my breast cancer surgery. I had a bilateral (both breasts) lumpectomy to remove cancer on right and radial scar on the left. The surgeon only removed one lymph node which is amazingly good. Really good. Means no spread there. I have to wait 3 weeks for the results of my Oncotype test. Lets pray for a very very very low score. We dont want no chemo over here. I see my surgeon on Thursday for post op. I see my onco end of the month. I start radiation after I am healed in 6 weeks. So we are looking at the end of June. Then I do that for 5 and 1/2 weeks. That carries me to the first week of August. Then I will start the hormone blocker meds after that...five years of that bitch. Hopefully the symptoms wont be too bad for me. I am going to stay positive.<br />
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I am healing very well. The steristrip on my armpit came off in my sleep last night. It was hanging by a thread. I trimmed it. No pulling off. It has to come off on it`s own or the surgeon will do it. The areas are so itchy but I just smack them and tell them to shut up. Literally just smack them like a tattoo. My honest opinion, lumpectomy surgery is a piece of cake in the surgery side of things. I took Tylenol for the first 2 days and then I was fine. If you are ever faced with this type of surgery, just know that it is not horrible pain wise and healing is super easy.<br /><br /> I had to keep it easy last week but I did get some gardening done before surgery. The garden bed on the side of the house is filled. Kale, beets, cauliflower (a first for me), swiss chard, and lettuce. It is doing very well. I have three big pots filled with radish babies and I have three pots with a basil plant in each. Still too cold here to break out the tomato plants. I do not have a bed in the front done yet so I think I will do a couple cherry tomato plants in pots and call it a day. I also have my trusty pot of chives. She comes up every year. I did not renew my membership to the community garden and decided to just stay home this year. I am going to do some shade veggies and hopefully I will have garden beds built in the front by the Fall! Dammit! LOL..I did talk to a friend of Hubs. He will do it for me. I just want two 4-6 foot long ones and that is all. I will be happy.<br /><br /> Yesterday was the last day of Breast Cancer Bingefest 2018. I had been basically eating whatever I wanted but not overeating, mind you. Gluten, sugar, rice, and just general crap. My skin tells the tale of my treachery. I realized a couple months ago that when I do not eat gluten, my skin clears up without any help from steroid cream or medications. Patient heal thyself. I had the last yummers last week and I am going to slowly fight the carb and sugar cravings while I get back into low carb. Last night I had chicken cacciatore with mozz cheese over yam noodles. Today, I do not know what I am going to make. Something with hamburger probably. Maybe just actual burgers on the grill with a salad. No bun needed. Put an egg on top of the burger.<br /><br /> That is about it for me this morning. I have to get moving. I have let moss grow on my butt too long. I have to keep myself busy. Have a great week and I will talk to you later!<br />Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-56696912289496244142018-04-26T07:50:00.000-04:002018-04-26T07:50:54.508-04:00April Showers Bring May Flowers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gTq5ZkXECK8/WuG4s8A1f1I/AAAAAAAAFI8/Xiodj88Z8FoWiyQCdPGgck06UVUfsBDqACKgBGAs/s1600/coffee3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="223" data-original-width="216" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gTq5ZkXECK8/WuG4s8A1f1I/AAAAAAAAFI8/Xiodj88Z8FoWiyQCdPGgck06UVUfsBDqACKgBGAs/s400/coffee3.jpg" width="387" /></a></div>
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<b>*235* <---Something like that. Around about there. </b><br />
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I was awoken by a couple cats at 3am. They decided that would be a perfect time to ask for breakfast. Most of the time they bother Hubs because they know he has to get up anyway. The nerve of them! I know for sure I will be taking a nap later. No gardening going to be going on today. It rained so much yesterday that all the leaves and the beds are saturated. I like to garden but I am not that hardcore.<br /><br /> Let`s get the icky stuff out of the way. I saw the surgeon. She says that my left boob is negative. No cancer. There is a very small radial scar that will have to come out but otherwise, thank god! The cancer in the other breast is stage 1a grade 2 at this point. That could change after everything is biopsied. She is going to recommend me for radiation. <---not fucking happy about that. I am having surgery to remove the two areas in the breasts and a few lymph nodes on the right on May 14. May 1 I have an appointment with the oncologist and I know she is going to put me on the dreaded Tamoxifen. I already saw a shrink and he gave me a script for Lexapo to deal with the Tamoxifen. I havent started taking it yet. I hate side effects. I will probably start taking it on this Sunday. Fresh week with a fresh new medication.<br /><br /> I do not know how I feel right now about all of this. I should be freaked out and I think a small part of me is. But I have to take it day by day. There is nothing I can do about what is going to happen cause it has to happen to make the cancer go away. We will just pray really hard that the Onoctype testing on the biopsied pieces will come back with a very low number. It is a test that will tell you if you have a chance of reoccurence of the cancer. Higher then 20% will require chemo or mastectomy or both. LOW NUMBER! I have a oncology nurse navigator. She will help me with appointments, if I do not feel well, classes, questions, insurance, and the like. I will have three doctors and someone has to help you navigate the maze of cancer.<br />
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As for otherwise life, nothing much else is occupying my mind at the moment. I do have the garden going on but with the deluge of rain we had been getting, I havent planted the lettuce or radish seeds yet. I am hoping that I get out there tomorrow when the ground has dried some. I want to get them in the ground. I also need to pick up some kale and collard plants at some point. Yesterday`s rain was really bad. I am surprised the basement didnt flood a little bit. I have to do the kombucha today after I come back from the dispensary. It is time to bottle it. If you wait too long, it starts to taste vinegary. So today is the day.<br />
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I am boring. I have nothing witty to discuss or share. My mind is in boring old Cancerland and I have lack of sleep. Maybe the next post will be more exciting. Maybe not. Whose to know.<br />I hope you have a great rest of your week. I will be back to share again next week. Pray for lots of sunshine!<br />Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-55103540638254566652018-04-13T16:56:00.000-04:002018-04-13T16:56:41.430-04:00Forgive me for my tardiness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CDLPOtKn5TA/WtEYF9YLgmI/AAAAAAAAFHs/qHQv41X2-nUXsUHRcBkjW9fUla7ot_H_QCLcBGAs/s1600/Featured-image-Breast-Cancer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="265" data-original-width="1132" height="92" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CDLPOtKn5TA/WtEYF9YLgmI/AAAAAAAAFHs/qHQv41X2-nUXsUHRcBkjW9fUla7ot_H_QCLcBGAs/s400/Featured-image-Breast-Cancer.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
*234*<br />
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Yes, I have breast cancer in my right breast. This is why I havent posted. I have been walking around in a bit of a fog. I had a MRI biopsy on my left breast yesterday. Next Friday I see the boob surgeon to talk about what those results are and what my journey will be. I have a Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC) that is Estrogen and Progesterone positive and HER2 negative <---that is very good. It is very small, about 9mm. If there is nothing nasty going on in the left, I will probably just have surgery and take the Tamoxifen for five years. But I do not know what is going to happen. We do not know if it is in my lymph nodes. We do not know what is in my left breast. So I have no more answers then what I just said.<br />
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That is all I really want to talk about today. I am just not ready to engage with people. I have been working in the garden bed on the side of the house to get it ready for planting. I have been just keeping busy so I do not have to think about it. I just realized I had not posted and guessing there are some of you that were waiting to hear from me. I am sorry, please forgive me.<br />
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Ok. I will post when I think about it and I will let you know what is going on. I am going to go work on the chicken dinner I have planned.<br />
Have a good weekend.Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-1104799131907048672018-03-27T10:36:00.000-04:002018-03-27T10:36:48.257-04:00Easter is a-coming<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IYVpQls9tyU/WrpLs-YVZ9I/AAAAAAAAFGI/A1NIsxjnBjYKuSec7XzudPko7XoIbRbkQCLcBGAs/s1600/1382545979082.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="462" data-original-width="616" height="298" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IYVpQls9tyU/WrpLs-YVZ9I/AAAAAAAAFGI/A1NIsxjnBjYKuSec7XzudPko7XoIbRbkQCLcBGAs/s400/1382545979082.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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*235*<br /><br /> I am eating my breakfast as I type this up. Still feeling under the weather from whatever that virus was the hit me but it doesn't stop my gut from being hungry. I have got a smidge more then a month until my appointment with my GP and I have lost no weight. I am going to pull out all the stops starting yesterday. Keto all the way. I am not going to starve myself to lose weight though. Do not worry. I should have been doing this all along and I am a dummy (i say that to myself). I deserve to be told that I have to raise the amount of insulin that I take. Doesn't mean I will follow Doctors advice but I deserve to be told. He is gonna yell at me for not taking the Crestor. He and I both know I cannot take a statin. It gives me bad side effects. But I have high cholesterol. Part of me knows I should eat vegan but we all know that isnt going to happen. I do not like deprivation. I do not care if it will give me more years. I deprive myself every day of yummy foods and I cannot see myself not eating meats, eggs, and cheeses. You see how well I am doing with losing weight for a Doctor`s visit is going. Yes, I said I will not follow the Doctor`s orders when he raises my insulin. I am not walking around with super high blood sugars and I have lost damn near 65lbs in the past thousand years. I am going to just try to stay the fuck away from carbs and sugar. Stay away demons!<br />
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<b>Saw the boob surgeon</b><br />
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<b> </b>I had to reschedule my appointment because of a snow storm but I saw her that Friday after. She told me that she wanted to call me on the phone and explain what was found but she felt it would be better with visuals. Just the fact that she wanted to call me made me feel better but also made me go..oh boy. She showed me the MRI of both breasts. The mass on the right is bright white and you can see the irregular margins. She said it could be a whole bunch of things. She rattled them all off and I do not remember. I said *or it could be cancer. * She said Yes but if it is, it is very very small. Then the other side is a big mass of non mass, 3cmX3cm. It could be a whole bunch of things from the most benign to ductal carcinoma. I am sitting here waiting for the hospital to call to set up appointment for a Ultrasound with possible biopsies. If they cannot see the things in question on ultrasound, I will have to have another MRI done and they will do the biopsies then. I do not want any biopsies at all. None. I hate them. They hurt me so much. Yeah. That is what is going on with me right now. Wondering if I have ticking time bombs in my breasts.<br />
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<b>Trying....</b><br />
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<b> </b>I am just trying to get by day to day. Money is extremely tight right now. I am hoping that it will get better. I am hoping that if I do have cancer, it does not need chemotherapy. Because I have my hustle and if I cannot do the hustle, we will be in serious trouble. I am trying to just get stuff done. There is so much to get done and there is only just me to do it. Yes, I know there are three other adults in this house but you all know my story. I do not have to repeat it to you. The things facing me at the moment....Install new Firestick. Taxes. New batch of kombucha. laundry. Mount clothes in my room. Bagging leaves and branches. Washing pots outside. Vacuuming. Wash the stairs. The list goes on and on. Oh, and I have to call Insurance cause that is all screwed up. But that can only happen after I drop my adult child off to work. Seriously..<br />
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<b>April 1st</b><br />
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<b> </b>I need to take the ham out of the freezer on Thursday. I have to go grocery shopping for all the food stuff for Easter dinner. We will have a veggie feast like years past. I will make a pot of mashed potatoes but I will not indulge. I will be happy with my meat and veggies. They want me to make lemon cupcakes with lemon cream cheese frosting. I will do it and it will be so hard not to eat one. OMG so hard. I did buy candy for baskets because I dont know why. I am trying really hard to stop doing things for them because they are grown assed people but then nostalgia hits and they bitch that they want a basket. Idk.<br /><br />Ugh. I do not feel good. Feeling queasy over here. I also realize I have change to roll. We save our change, roll it (cause it is free), take it to the bank, and put it in savings. I probably only have about $50 but that is better then nothing.<br />I am going to go now. I am still in my jammies over here and I have to pick myself up and get some stuff done. yuck.<br />Have a good week and I will be back next week with some updates.Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-49950622698255249442018-03-22T15:44:00.003-04:002018-03-22T15:46:18.483-04:00Stupidity to the highest degree<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>*235*</b><br />
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I am late. I am late. For a very important date! I had the Mother of all migraines on Monday and it settled in until yesterday. I am not 100% today but I am functional. We shall see how far I get before my head says No bitch and I have to end this. The 4th Nor`easter we had planned for yesterday was a major bust. It did finally snow in the evening but when we woke up in the morning, the hard surfaces were clean. No shoveling!! My hope is that will be THE last snow storm until like late October or November. Go snow. Just go. Easter is so close and we need some warmer weather so we can wear our sun dresses and sandals. *** I left to drop off Kid #2 at work, I seasoned these pork rib tips (in fridge) for dinner, and I ate a half a sleeve of Dos si dos.***<br />
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Let me just get right to it. I had gotten an email last Friday stating that it was my MRI and mammogram results. My appt with the Boob surgeon wasnt until yesterday (which was cancelled because of the non snow). I was stupid and looked at the results. The radiologist found one thing in each breast. They are labeled as possible malignancies. Right Breast : <span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 13px;"><i>There is a 9 mm mass with irregular borders seen at 1:00, anterior depth, approximately 3.4 cm from the nipple. It demonstrates washout enhancement kinetics and is minimally T2 hyperintense.</i> Left Breast:<i> </i></span><i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 13px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 13px;">There is an area of nonmass enhancement seen just posterior to this, at 12:00, posterior depth. It measures approximately 3.3 x 3.2 cm in biaxial dimension. It demonstrates persistent and plateau enhancement kinetics.</span></i><br />
It has been suggested that I have core biopsies on both breasts. I have a appt with the surgeon tomorrow (Friday). I will tell her that I was stupid and read the report. She will tell me what she has to tell me. The scary part is the Mammo. They did not do a 3d tomo mammo on me at this particular facility. The mammo says my breasts look fine. They look FINE! So yeah. More fucking breast biopsies and who knows what else.<br />
Then I get the report back from the Upper Endoscopy. It says I have<a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/barretts-esophagus/symptoms-causes/syc-20352841"> <b>Barretts Esophagus</b></a>. That is your next step before the next step is esophageal cancer. I know I am stretching but I never wanted to be diagnosed with BE. I cannot take PPIs and other GERD meds because my past Cdiff. Screwed I am, arent I?<br />
My pharmacist suggested looking into Autophagy. Basically water fasting. You do not do it for long periods of time at first. Slowly over the months before you build up to longer fasts. I am supposed to eat Keto also when I am not water fasting. This is the way to try to stop the madness that is my body. Or give up and let it take over. I am basically not going to be able to take the Methotrexate for my PA because I will probably be put on the cancer drug I talked about before. Then I will have to be put on a anti depressant because I will go into instant menopause. This is just too much shit for me to take in.<br />
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I have put a hold on my job search for now. It is depressing that no one wants to even interview me. It was really getting to me. Plus, who knows what is going to happen after tomorrow. Biopsy results could be ugly. I dont want this. I dont want more surgery. I do not want to take a medication that will put me into menopause, make my hair fall out, and leave me being the most unsexiest thing on the planet. I do not want to have to limit foods so drastically so that I can live longer. It isn't fair. I have the most pitiful medical chart. So many illnesses. So many surgeries. So many allergies. Now, I will be in full blown menopause and I will have to lose weight while I am doing it and stay away from high carbs. That will be FUN.<br />
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This is becoming a very sad rant post. I have held this information in for over a week. I only told two people because they are my cancer people. They have had breast cancer so I can fall back on them when I have questions. I dont want this. I dont want this. I dont want this.<br />
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I wasn't going to unload all this but when I came home from dropping her off, I got the gastro results in the mail. I am a little over the edge with all of this. I figured there are maybe 3 people and a couple bots that come on here to read my drivel. It is nothing great. Just my life diary that I have laid open for anyone to read and poke fun at if they so choose to. This is a safe place for me. I can say what I have to say and no one is going to comment...ever. I may have breast cancer. I may have another radial scar on the left that will have to be removed. What will the breast look like then? Does that raise my breast cancer risk %? Should I think about Mastectomy? Do I want to go that radical? I may have to with no choice. If that happens, do I want reconstruction or just leave it be and get a tattoo?<br />
Will I become an awful mean person with no hope while I am stripped of the last of my estrogen? Will my marriage survive it? If it doesn't, will I survive if that happens? I might not want to.<br />
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Add all of this plus the daily struggles of having no money and trying to figure out how to pay for things. It is just too much for one person. Everyone says how strong I am. Sometimes I just wish I could not be. Why do I always have to so strong? When do I get permission to fall apart?<br />
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I will stop this said list of What Ifs. I may post tomorrow or the next day if I am up to it. If I do not, I will definitely post on Monday or Tuesday. Some way, I will let you all know what is going on.<br />
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Have a good week and pray for some warmer temperatures.<br />
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Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-14229798340815660382018-03-13T10:34:00.000-04:002018-03-13T10:42:10.553-04:00It is a gonna be a two coffee pod kinda day<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is Julien. Kid #1 calls him Bashir. Shout out if you get reference </td></tr>
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<b>*236* <-----eating things I shouldnt it. Make it STAHP!</b><br />
<br />
It is 932am est and I have been up since 530ish am. We are in the midst of another Nor`easter here on the shore. They are saying we could get a foot of snow when it is all said and done. The snow was impressive earlier but no so much now. Unless we get some more banding going on, I think the thought of epic snowfall is a bust. We shall see.<br />
<br />
Again, I have missed too many weeks in a row and for that I am sorry. My past couple weeks have been very stressful. It always seems like shit storms comes in threes. I will break some of these things down, some I will not because I have to keep a little air of mystery about me. I will try to add a positive at the end of each thing because that is how I am trying to live my life. Except I have no postives to say about my computer life. First the iPad died. I cannot afford to replace it. Now I found out that this HP Stream that I bought for myself is a $200 piece of garbage. Windows 10 is too large for the gigs on this things so it has already out of memory (bought in January). I cannot update it at all. I cannot upgrade the memory because of the kind of memory it has. And you guessed it, I cannot afford to replace it. I still have the Chrome book as a back up when I can no longer use this one. No positives for this declaration at all. And we do not get refunds so a computer will not happen then. Oh well. Maybe the Apple Fairy will gift me. Probably not.<br />
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<b>Can I get a discount card on Cat Litter?</b><br />
<br />
First up, you have probably seen the pictures of Julien on the IG feed. He has been Kid #2 and my secret this past month. This lady came into the office with her cat and the litter. The office was going to adopt one of the litter when they were ready because one of the vet cats passed away. All the girls (3 left) are very much older and they wanted to bring up a youngin while the girls were still around. Kid #2 asked me to come in and see the kittens cause they were so tiny. Julien is the runt. He had to be mine. We received him two weeks ago during the last storm. We also found out this week he contracted round worms from his mother (the whole litter did) but he had his first de-worming and he will be fine. He is a little spit fire. He leaps. He runs like the wind. Last week he weigh 1.86 lbs. He is too small to be so fearless but he is. It took about a week but everyone has adapted. I am now OFFICIALLY a crazy cat lady. I had no plan at all to get another cat. We had three. Dont need another. But it happened and we are happy. He is very lovey to everyone. He is black but he still has a bit of his <a href="https://www.meowingtons.com/blogs/lolcats/amazing-color-changing-kittens">fever coat</a>. That will go away as the months go by.<br />
<br />
<b>I am the IV queen</b><br />
<br />
Last week I had the upper endoscopy. Nothing impressive. No ulcers. I still have gastritis, esophagitis, and he noted my hiatal hernia. Biopsies were taken. I have not heard anything back so that tells me that all is well with that. But, the hernia is probably the reason I am having trouble swallowing. It can get it the point where it pushes up a little higher in your chest and can make you have difficulties. I am supposed to take care of my Acid reflux but I cannot take PPIs because of the Cdiff. I will just deal with what I have gut wise. If the hernia ever gets too bad, I will have the surgery. But as for now, no no no.<br />
Yesterday, I had my Mammo and my boob MRI with contrast. That all went well too. Of course they cannot tell me anything. I have an appointment with the boob surgeon next week. Lets hope I hear NOTHING before that appointment. I want no phone calls about the scans. All is well and they found nothing.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b> When one door closes, Another one opens</b><br />
<br />
We found out that hubby`s last cleaning job was given to some other company. Nothing do with him or his performance. Just company restructuring. That left us with alot of money a month out of our budget. I lost it. Completely lost it. I remember my friend (and mechanic) said he had someone that had a cleaning company. Long story short, we will be making approximately 2/3rds back. Still money missing but not catastrophic. We can work with that and hopefully there will be more to come.<br />
The paid internship fell through. They could not work around the rules of paying me so that fell apart. I had decided that I would never get my hopes up for a job again. Now I have a chance at maybe another paid internship with our local cable company. That is actually the first job I applied for and had not done so well on the phone interview. Not bad. Just inexperienced at it. Now I know how to do all that. The company actually does participate in internships so we shall see. They need workers. I need a job! Wish my ass luck cause I am really tired of applying for stuff.<br />
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<b>Girl, you need to stop</b><br />
<br />
Because of a bunch of stressful stuff, I have not been eating right. Bread. Noodles. Rice. Potato. Junk. Pizza! You name it, it is going down. I have to really do it now. My doctor is gonna raise my insulin at my appt in May. Now it is the middle of March and I have not lost a significant amount. I have a plan. I am going to slowly slack off from now until Saturday. Saturday I will be taking my first Methotrexate shot..did I tell you about this? let me look....I guess I havent. The rhemy changed my methotrexate from a pill to a shot so it does not effect my gut like the pill did. I had to wait till this cold was all over before I can take the first shot. So, Saturday will be the first shot and the first day back on LCHF fully. All the junk in the house will be gone/ I will have set myself up with good for me snacks and I will be ready to go. I have to lose at least 10 more pounds by the beginning of May. I will do this. I need to do this! As i eat a slice of leftover pizza for breakfast/lunch.<br /><b>Crap! 49 days until May 1, 2018!</b><br />
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<b>Housework sucks</b><br />
<br />
Since I am *snowbound* today, I am going to get some cleaning done. I have to change the hose on the sump pump (it sprung a few leaks). I have to water all the plants. I will do the plants after I finish up on here. They are priority. I have a few that cannot wait for Spring so that I can repot them. When you have a boisterous kitten, you realize how dusty your house is. Pulling stuff out and vacuum underneath is going to happen in the livingroom today. Has to be done. I will polish all the furniture in the there and I will be good till next week. Okay. I ate one small slice of pizza. I think I am going to throw the other two away. Not gonna eat them. Going...going...gone. I tossed it in the trash and smushed it in the trash. Not that I would ever ever never eat that now but I felt it needed that extra Fuck you for being there so that I would eat it.<br />
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<br />
Okay...it is really time for me to do some stuff. I hope all is well with you. Stay out of the snow if you can help it. And I will be back next week.Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-88233850206474158422018-02-23T11:20:00.001-05:002018-02-23T11:20:11.052-05:00Attack of the virus<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>*230*</b><br />
<br />
I was germed by someone and that is the reason no post this past Sunday. I am just feeling kind of okay today. I do not know if it was the a watered down version of the flu or a nasty cold but it sucked. The weekend was a blur of dayquil, cough drops, and pee pads. I say I do not know because I didnt have a fever but I was feverish. I had aches in my legs but it only lasted for a day. I was sick as a dog but I did not feel like I was dying. That is why it could have been a watered down version because I did have the flu shot this year. Even though that has been deemed to only be about 20% effective. I have a nagging leftover cough and my bladder needs time to recover but otherwise, I am gonna be okay. The laundry will get done.<br />
<br />
<b>Paid Internship</b><br />
<br />
I am thisclose to having a paid internship with a very large company in my area. I am not going to say what or where at this point. It will be 3 months to start off and can go to a max of 6 months. I will be able to use it as experience and filler on my resume. I need the administrative work to help show that I know stuffs. Just give me a chance! If they like me and vice versa AND they have a job to fill, I could be hired at some point. The wheels are rolling with this so it could be very soon. I also have another job that is very exciting and that is being reviewed. I have not had an interview for it yet but I will be positive. I had contact with the HR department already for that one. I am not putting all my hopes on it but it would be good if this one were to happen also. So I have balls in the air. Who would have ever thought when I started this blog that I would be close to going back in the working world? I wouldnt have. I try not to obsessively look at my email. It is like I am WILLING them to email me back with a time to come in for an interview. Come to me. Come to me. You want me to work for you!<br />
<br />
<b>No Boobs for You</b><br />
<br />
Because of this wretched ick that has befallen me, I had to cancel my boob MRI and Mammo. Plus I had to move my appointment with the boob surgeon so that it is after my scans. That will all happen in March now. I am also going to be able to get my upper endoscopy after all. The gastro is having someone else in her practice do it on a Monday so that Hubs can take me. My gut has felt better since I stopped taking the Methotrexate pills. I saw the Rheumy this week and he has switched me to injections instead. I will give myself a shot once a week. He says that it bypasses the gut so I wont have to worry about that being an issue. It was working so well for me too. Now all my patches have come back and brought friends with them. The pains I was feeling before are back also. I hope the shots do not give me any issues because I really want this to work.<br />
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<b>Gotta Make Money, Honey</b><br />
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I really really really need to get on the selling train. I have been so lazy about it. I have boxes of shit to put on Etsy and I have not even moved a muscle towards doing it. This past week has been a wash out because I have been sick, but that does not explain the past few months. I have literally have tons of shit to sell. I need the motivation. I know money is a motivation but that doesn't seem to be enough to force me to do it. I gotta DO it so these totes can stop staring at me. There are totes full of stuff right behind me. They are there because I have to photograph, post, and put them in a place for when they sell. I need to get boxes and bags and bubble wrap. Give me the motivation to get this started!! I know once I do it, I will continue to do it. I am one of those kind of people. You have to push me off the cliff and then I will fly. <br />
I have a big dilemma. It has come time to pay for my garden beds at the community garden. I do not want to be there anymore. I do not like the way it is being run and last year all of our beds were taken over by ants that like to bite. We are not allowed to use chemicals and the people that run the place did not help us at all. I think that is why our peppers did not flourish at all like they have before. There is alot of weird stuff going on at the garden that I am not going to go into. Lets just say that the person running it is an asshole elitist and we will leave it like that. So my dilemma is there is a guy that is selling 4 foot, 100 gallon galvanized steel animal feeders for $50 a piece (or best offer) and I could get four of these and put them in the front yard. Fill them with compost and not have to do the community garden thing anymore. But even at $50 a piece...that is $200. I want to get four of them while he has them because of their small size and when am I going to get an opportunity like this again?<br /> But I am not supposed to be spending money. What would you do? Ugh! I told him I didn't get paid till the end of the month so we shall see what I do. I will either do it or not do it.<br />
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<b>RIP iPad</b><br />
<br />
My iPad is dead. Okay, not completely dead but she is having issues with the screen. It started acting up a month ago. Yesterday it finally went. I could get the screen up long enough to email myself all the pictures I had saved on it. It is a iPad mini and I won it in a contest. I have had it for five years. It almost never left the house and I used it ever night when I went to bed. I miss it. The screen was big enough to watch videos but small enough that it was not cumbersome. It helped me so much when I was sick or healing. I will not replace it with a android one. NO. I went on the Apple website, I saw <a href="https://www.apple.com/shop/buy-ipad/ipad-mini-4/128gb-gold-wifi">this one and I am in love </a>but the price. After taxes, apple care, and such...it is $527. I know I could buy it someplace else but I like the protection you get when you buy it at Apple. Plus I can get a free engraving on it. I was going to call it Heidi`s Toy. <br /> It is okay. Maybe if I get one of these jobs, I can save up for it. That gives me a little hope that I will eventually have one again.<br /><br />That is it for today. I have breakfast/lunch cooking and then I am going to dive into some laundry and recipes. I have been slowly pecking away at the mess in the kitchen. I was literally in bed for three straight days. So maybe it was the flu. I hope you all are not having the flu or a cold. Enjoy the last grasps of Winter. March is coming and I am dreaming of Spring.Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-59936881471025975562018-02-12T12:18:00.000-05:002018-02-12T12:18:50.764-05:00Busy life always<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>*233*</b><br />
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If you are reading this before Valentines Day 2018, get thee to the local Rite Aid (if you have one). They have a long white box of Russel Stover Chocolates (1lb 10oz) for only $9.99. That is like two chocolate hearts in one! We always have a box of chocolate for the family. I almost wasnt going to buy it this year but then my traditional heart won out. So I ate chocolate and I spent money. I think I have a major soft spot for V day because Kid #1`s birthday is right afterward. We will be celebrating her day on Friday this year because she has plans on her actual day. I really need to get off my ass and look up a vegan cheesecake recipe. (writing down to add to my list.<br />
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<b>Health Schmealth</b><br />
I was just off the phone with the hospital. They were asking me the barrage of bodily questions for my boob MRI next Monday. Do you have metal in your body? No. Do you have a pace maker? No. Etc etc. This is my 6 month scan. I have to do blood work this week for it because they will be doing an IV contrast. Can you all do me a favor? Can you send out good vibes for me? I am going to be having an MRI and a Mammo done on the same day. Let`s hope the find NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. My boobs just disappeared. I stopped taking the Methotrexate. The stomach pain which I think was an impending ulceration has subsided. It is still there but much much less. I think if I continued to take it, I would have had to take medication to treat it. I had to cancel my upper endoscopy. Hubby does not have PTO like he used to and we cannot afford to have him lose a day of work. I do not have anyone else to drive me (they all have to work every day too) and the place where I was going to have it done is way too far away to take an Uber. Yes, money over health. I never had to do that before. But I can not have that hit to the budget. I am feeling better. But now the psoriasis and the back pain are creeping back. I wonder if I will be able to take anything at all. We shall see.<br />
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<b>Good job vibes</b><br />
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Last Friday, I went to an early morning meeting at the local Easter Seals. It was a Business Advisory Committee meeting. I was the only job seeker (the other person cancelled). It was a meeting of sorts that had nothing to do with me at first. It was made up of my job counselor , her boss, and three women who work in HR in different companies. I was given good advice about my resume. And I was given an opportunity. I was offered to work for a large company that has a local headquarters. It would be a paid internship. I would get paid through Bureau of Rehab and the company would teach me all that I need to know about admin work. They would get an extra set of hands that they would not have to pay for. It would be full time and the internship will last for 6 months. There is no guarantee of being hired unless there is an opening and they want you. But the work can go on my resume and I will learn shit. And I can say that I really know this shit. This is exciting. I should know more this week.<br />
Yesterday, I sat with my coffee and re-did my resume. The issue with mine was that it was a skills based resume. There were no dates. They all said that they do not pay attention to those types of resumes. I told them that it has been 15 years since I officially worked. I figured most places would look at that and hire someone younger. Oh, they all said NO in unison. They would rather hire someone older because of the stability and drama free. They all agreed that my past years of volunteering should go to the top of my resume, job experience after. That is what I did. I sent it off to my job person so she can tweek it. There were some Word stuff that I could not figure out even after I googled them. Like how do you make a half space? I did what Google told me to do and it cut the words in half instead. It will take me some time to figure that kind of shit out.<br />
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<b>Rain Rain Go Away</b><br />
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I should be thankful it is just rain and not snow. I am completely dressed to take a walk. Sneakers are on. I was ready to go. Then the rain started. It is a sprinkle but I do not want to chance it. All I need to do is go out in that and make myself susceptible to the effin Flu. Accuweather SAYS the sun is supposed to come out. So far, I see no sun. I see clouds, dreary, and rain drops on the patio. Kid #2 and I took at walk at the beach last week. It was good. My stomach didn't protest too much. This past week has been so busy that I havent had time to think of the aches and pains. I helped her declutter her room. She was feeling low and it showed in her housekeeping. A cleaner bedroom always helps to lift your spirits a little bit. Then I bottled up our first successful batch of Kombucha. We were gifted with one baby each from the two mothers. I have to start a new batch today for fermenting. It will get to the point where I will have to start giving scobys (that is what you call the Mother) away. Either that or throw them away. Someone suggesting composting. <---more on that later. Mondays are always kind of busy for me. Lately I could probably say that about every day. I always wish for a lazy day but that day never comes. I guess I probably had enough lazy being so sick for all those years that my head had decided I am making up for time. Granted, I am not a healthy person by any means. I know that. I am not trying to fool myself. But I am better then I used to be. I have gained more energy with my years. I am taking full advantage until it is snatched away from me later on in life. So I have dishes soaking in the sink and it looks like the rain has stopped. I will take that walk after this and do some much needed housework. Always much needed when I tend to be the only one that does it.<br /><br /><b>City Garbage Stinks</b><br />
<br />
Our mayor has decided that when grant money is waved in front of his nose, he needs to use it. He is proposing a pay per bag system for our city. 60 cents per kitchen sized bag and $1 per big ass bag. They think that people will recycle more because of this. Ummm. No. This is a city. Small but a city nonetheless. There will be trash dumped everywhere. We will have rats and stink as far as the eye can see. There are people in this city that cannot even be bothered to get their drivers license and insurance. What makes them think people will recycle if they never have? Or people who are living in utter poverty..They are not going to spend $20 for a box of garbage bags. And of course, our taxes are not going to go down at all. This is like double taxation if you ask me.<br />
I recycle like a Motherfucker. Most people have one of those square recycle boxes. I have four. The garbage guys gifted me that many cause they know that I am a recycle queen. But even with all that recycling, we still have a full garbage bin every week. If I had to pay $1 a bag...that could be $3 a week. Sometimes more during the holiday season. I do not want to spend that on garbage bags. I have always toyed with the idea of composting. Buying one of those things that you spin to compost. I never bought one because I never figured I would need it. Yeah. I think we need it. You see, this is not just a proposal. They have the grant money and they aim to spend it. So this is going to happen. They do not care what any of the residents think. They will not put it up for a vote. They will say it is so and there is nothing we can do about it. <br /> I would want to get one of these <a href="https://www.amazon.com/LINKYO-Compost-Bin-Stainless-Composter/dp/B015P91S4C/ref=pd_lpo_vtph_86_lp_tr_t_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=T4J94CR91KNB84CFAYVM">small gallon compost bins</a> for the counter in the kitchen. I have a friend that uses one. Then I want one of the tumbler bins. You can spin it to mix the compost. Something <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Yimby-Tumbler-Composter-Color-Black/dp/B009378AG2/ref=pd_lpo_vtph_86_bs_t_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=T4J94CR91KNB84CFAYVM">like this</a> or maybe<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Lifetime-60028-65-Gallon-Compost-Tumbler/dp/B004QKU0MS/ref=sr_1_18?s=lawn-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1518455187&sr=1-18&keywords=compost+tumbler"> this</a>. But I will shop around. I know nothing of these things so I really have to do my research. I know that I could just make a pile in the yard for free but I do not want to deal with raccoons and pissing off the neighbors from the stink. This is a better solution for me. Maybe I will find one that someone is giving away on Craiglist.<br />
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That is it for this week. The dog is bugging me to go out and I should really get that walk in while the dishes are soaking. I hope you have a great week and do not eat too much chocolate!! (I am saying that to myself!)<br /><br /><br />
<br />Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-55000224387072595932018-02-06T10:17:00.000-05:002018-02-06T10:17:55.474-05:00Living that plant life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
*233*<br />
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Last week, I purchased foil dryer vent tubing to replace the old shit we had downstairs. Whilst I was working on getting that attached, I realized that when the new furnace was put in...there is no room for the dryer and washer to leave when they die! We are going to have to break through the wall behind it and reconfigure shit. Not that bad since all the stuff is right there just have to turn shit around. But still. Fuckers! Plus, I was not successful getting the hosing attached because I am too short for the vent window and I am a quitter. Hubs attached everything for me, thank goodness.<br />
I did not need all that was bought so I returned said things back to Home Depot. That is when I spied this little girl (i just watered her.) She is a<a href="https://www.thespruce.com/grow-grafted-ruby-ball-cactus-1902604"> grafted Ruby Ball cactus</a>. I paid $4.95 for her. I have done very well with cacti and some succulents so this is a good plant to add to the menagerie.<br />
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<b>I do not like my new Gastro</b><br />
<br />
I said I was not going to talk about health so this will be brief. I am dealing with some gut issues. I saw the gastro yesterday (I miss my old gastro mucho) and after some talk it was decided that she is going to do an upper endoscopy on me on the 16th. Yay! I get to wait with 11 more days of pain and wonder. To be perfectly honest, I think I need a colonoscopy. It is a colon issue most definitely but she is the one with the degree. That sounds snarky, yes? See. The gastro that retired (she took over his office), he had been around for all my gut issues so when I would show up sick and in pain..he listened and he did what had to be done. This feels like I may end up in the ER at some point because she chooses to use the soft approach to things. I am going to probably have to look for another stomach dr at some point. We shall see. She actually asked me if I was depressed. Yes bitch, I have depression but I am not going to tell you that because you will not treat me. You will tell me to see my therapist for *warning! gross* pencil thin stools. Google pencil thin stools with stomach pain, gas, bloating, and nausea. I am thinking it is probably a polyp that has gotten large and needs to be taken out. But we will do an upper endoscopy cause she wants to look at my stomach. <---this is all the reason why I did not post yesterday. Kinda livid after that appointment<br />
<br />
<b> Okay, enough of that. Food is a better subject</b><br />
<br />
No new pressure cooker yet but I did some research and I will probably be getting an Instant Pot this time. My gifter was waiting to get the money back from Amazon before she ordered me a new one. I have been dying to cook in it. Dying. Like I have no idea what I am going to cook today. I have to cook on the stove or in the oven. I would rather throw shit in the pot and forget it. I will not talk about that or the recipes that I want to try until I get my new one. As for cooking, I am planning on making some chocolate covered coconut bon bons for Valentines day. I am also going to look up how to make like chocolate truffles cause Kid #2 does not like coconut.<a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/chocolate-truffles-recipe-1914564"> This</a> and <a href="https://www.marthastewart.com/274505/chocolate-truffle-recipes">This link of recipes</a> look good. I will do some more searching to find the right one. Kid #1s birthday is coming up soon and I have to plan for that too. She does not eat cheese and limited dairy. We were thinking I could make a vegan cheese cake. I really need to sit down and look through our raw cookbooks. We have a couple of <a href="https://www.aniphyo.com/">Ani Phyo`s cookbooks</a>. They are good to have on hand when you are in the mood for a nice fresh meal. We have Ani`s Raw Food Kitchen and Ani`s Raw Food Essentials. I might cook dinner for her birthday also but I need to discuss with her what she would like to have. Money is not what it used to be plus we are in the thick of snow season. Best to have a nice in home back up plan just in case of blizzard.<br />
<br />
<b>Walking for yer health</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b> </b>I admit that I have not walked for a week but I will give you my valid reasons. I wanted to but my body said no. First it was because of the methotrexate, I think. I was having some major nerve pain in my foot, leg, and hip all last week. Like the kind that feels like cattle prod shocks. I was thinking I busted a cervical because I was having shocks in my arms too. Then I noticed I had pins and needles in my face. I realized that it was the dang pill. My psoriasis is disappearing but I adopted some gnarly pain instead. I am not really noticing any of my joint or back pain getting better but I digress. The weird nerve pain has subsided so I think it is just a side effect of the pill. I did not take the pill yesterday because of my gut issues. I was told to stop it whenever I am sick. So between the shocks and my gut, walking is not on my immediate horizon. I will try again in a couple days. Even if I can get a mile in, that will be better then nothing at all. Right? Like right now, My head feels like she wants to take a walk. But my gut is like *Bitch, you know better*. I am still losing weight so I am moving in the right direction.<br />
<br />
<b>Bits and bobs</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
The stone mason is outside fixing a crumbling step as I type. It cost $50 so far. I wonder how much he is going to come at me for the rest. It best not be more then $100 or I will lose my shit.<br /> I have a dress and a shirt to do some sewing too.<br />I have a job interview for a job I probably do not want on Thursday. I will probably just go for the interview for the experience. I have a couple jobs that I have applied for floating out there that I really want. I think this one was one that my job coach applied for me in the beginning of our search. It is part time. I am looking for 32 hours or more. Working for 10 hours a week is a waste of my time when I need money. If I already had a job and this was a nice little filler job, that is different. I am not feeling it at all but I will show up and interview because they will be interviewing a bunch of people that day. Good interviewing learning experience<br />
The kitchen is a disaster. When is it not? So I have to pick my ass up, take my medicine, and start dealing with that shit.<br />
<br />
I am sorry this mostly a negative post but my gut is sick. I am not in a good place to spread positivity. I mean, the cactus is positive. You can just read that paragraph over and over. :)<br /> I hope you have a great week. I hope we do not get a buttload of snow (maybe a little tomorrow) and I hope that I can get out there and walk!<br />
<br />
Ta Ta for Now!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /><br />Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-24035737434816458762018-01-29T12:32:00.000-05:002018-01-29T12:32:28.610-05:00Boobs a-hoy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><br /></b>
<b>*233* <---so says the scale at the oncology dept and the vet scale (yes) at the kid`s job</b><br />
<br />
We will see how long this post will be. I just took my week Methotrexate for the PA and it can give you diarrhea and tummy upset. For me, it lasts about an hour or so. Not an all day affair. But every week can be a different saga. I am going to type and eat my antipasto salad while I wait for the pills to work their way through my gastrointestinals.<br /><br /> The oncology appointment went well. She thinks my breast pain is hormonal. She did feel the ridge in my breast that was not there before. Probably just more denseness. But I am going to be having a MRI and Mammo of my boobs in February so if there is anything, they will see it and we will work accordingly. From here on out, I will have to be vigilant with my boobage. It sucks but it is a part of many women`s lives. I see the boob surgeon in February also. We will have a good round out of talking about my past surgery and how I am doing.<br />
<br />
So, my pressure cooker shit the bed. Something happened to the steam release button on the lid and it would not get up to pressure. Since my friend bought it on Amazon, it had to be returned back to Amazon. I do not know if I am getting another one. I am not asking about it. If I get one, I do. If I do not, it was fun while it lasted. That means no new recipes to share this week. But if you have a pressure cooker and would like to do some Indian Cooking, try this place called <a href="https://twosleevers.com/">Two Sleevers</a>. Tried and true recipes that are really goooooood. You will never need to go to an Indian restaurant again because you can make it all at home. You just have to acquire all the spices. Which shouldnt be so hard for many of us. You either have an Indian grocery store (which I have) or you can shop online for what you need. <br />
<br />
I am starting to feel the pill giving me an issue but so far, so good.<br />
<br />
I have been walking almost every day. There has been a bit of rain here in the Northeast so on those days I did not walk. With the flu season in full swing, I do not want to invite something I do not need. I did have a flu shot but you never know. I will walk later today after the pill has moved out of my system. One of my goals is to conquer our hill. Very steep hill in my neighborhood. My goal is to walk to the bottom, walk to the top, walk to the bottom, walk to the top until I do not feel like I may pass out. Not really that hard but I want to utilize the hill for what it can give my stomach, hips, legs, and butt. Who needs to pay for a gym when you live in hilly New England?<br />
<br />
I had a job phone interview on Friday. It went well. The person said they will be calling people end of this week to set up in person interviews. I am staying positive and I am not going to be negative. But I am also being realistic. There are alot of people out there looking for work, especially office work. I just keep plugging along with my resumes and cover letters. One day something good will stick. My job is out there. I am going to a Business Advisory Council in February. Hopefully the people that will be there from HR departments will have some ideas on what I should do and whether they know of any places doing internships. I have to utilize all the tricks in my bag to try to land a job.<br />
<br />
I have a mega mess in the kitchen to clean. I am in my leggings, t-shirt, and sneakers. Dressed for walking but going to battle the dirty dishes. Today is Hubs birthday and I am going to try to cook something. We had dinner out last night but tonight is all about being inside and maybe playing a board game.<br />
<br />
That is it. Pill is kicking in. If anything pops up, I will post again this week. If not, see you on Monday.<br /><br />
<br />
<br /> Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-61872562947302258082018-01-18T12:20:00.000-05:002018-01-18T12:20:23.760-05:00May 1, 2018<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>*238*</b><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">103 days from today till May 1, 2018</span>.<br />
<br />
That is how much time I have to lose at least 10lbs and lower my A1c to a normal level. I had been lollygagging about this for two months. I shake my head at myself. Yes, this is an unscheduled blog post. I had to talk about it to you to just get it out there in the universe.<br />
<br />
Since December, I did lose the 10lbs that I gained but I need to lose at LEAST 10lbs more. I will tell you why. When I saw my Endo last time in December, we discussed how I had to change my eating seriously because of all the autoimmune stuff going on. He gave me till my next appointment to lose at least 10lbs and show a vast improvement in my blood sugars. He wants to be shocked. He even noted it in my file. If I did not show any improvement, I would have to agree to raising my insulin levels. Now. If anyone has been paying attention, if I raise my insulin levels, I will gain more weight for sure. At that appointment, I weight 250 something. Right now I weigh 236-237-238. I have lost 10lbs but my A1c will show I have still be eating shittily. Why am I talking about this now? I looked on the calendar yesterday and saw that I had my appt with him on February 12! That is not enough time to change more. So I called to change it. Unfortunately, they are a very popular office. They said I would have to wait till May 1st for my next appointment. I jumped at it! I am just prolonging my 3 month diabetes check. I go to them religiously. So for me to extend it beyond this time, is not a bad thing. If anything came up between now and then, they would bring me in on a sick check.<br /><br /> This is my declaration to myself. Girl, you need to do all that have learned. Now is the time. Get off your ass and DO IT!<br />
<br />
1 Walk every morning with a few exceptions. Temps in the single digits, icy or snowing, big rain storms, and temps above 85 and humidity. The last ones I can walk at the Mall.<br /><br />
2. Eat 20g or less of carbohydrates a day. Eat high fat and moderate protein.<br />
<br />
3. Take your supplements. All of them. Not just the Vit D and B-12.<br />
<br />
4. Drink more water.<br />
<br />
5. If I am hungry, eat more fat.<br />
<br />
6. Stick with it. You quit smoking for Christ`s Sake. You can quit carbs and sugar!<br /><br />I am also going to follow the Histamine protocol for my autoimmunes but I am not going to stress myself over it. I already know that wheat is a major issue. Since I have basically cut it out of my life except for a couple slips..my psoriasis has been clearing up.<br />
<br />
Now. You may have seen the picture in my IG with me holding Keiko. I am able to wear a size 16 very well. Some of them are actually too loose. But I am not ready for size 14 yet. But I still look like a fatty mcbutter pants. That is because I am 5`4'. I am supposed to be in the lower 100s. We all know that will probably never happen. Plus, I would suffer greatly with all the excess skin. But I am not going to think about that right now.<br />I need to walk in the mornings because right now, that is where my energy lies. That window has passed today. The weather for tomorrow is mostly sunny the high will be 35 deg F but it will be colder in the morning. That is okay weather. Tomorrow I am going to put on my leggings and my sneakers and I am going to walk to 2 miles up the hill and around.<br /><br /> I am going to be dealing with mega Keto Flu. We have Christmas chocolate that was bought at 75% off. I have to use all my resolve in life to stay away. STAY AWAY! I can do this. See, the more fat adapted you become, the less you want all that stuff you stopped eating. I just have to get over that hump....again.<br />
<br />
Time to get moving. I have to drive people places because I am the family chauffeur. and I have to decide what is for dinner. Something in the Gowise pot for sure. Just do not know what yet. Have a good rest of your week and I will be back!<br />
<br />Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-3084703223036628742018-01-15T09:47:00.000-05:002018-01-15T09:49:45.966-05:00MLK Day doings and goings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>*236* <---weighed on scale at Vet office. </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<b> </b>I do not know how long this post will be cause I am in some amount of pain this morning and sitting still is not an option. I blame it on over doing it this weekend and the weather. This too shall pass. Look at me! Three weeks in a row. I am getting some kind of blogger momentum going, huh? I and the man have to leave here in a few so I will be semi brief..maybe. We shall see how fast my fingers can fly.<br />
<br />
I wanted to first share a recipe with you. Last night, Kid #2 made<a href="https://twosleevers.com/now-later-butter-chicken-pressure-cooker/"><b> Indian Butter Chicken</b> </a>in the pressure cooker. I went to the co-op to get garam masala because we did not have any more. OMG this was soooooo good. She used coconut milk instead of regular milk. There was the butter in there but it was not enough to hurt my stomach. I had this nestled over a bed of salad. Now, this is a Instant Pot/Pressure cooker recipe. But I bet you that you can figure out how to make it if you do not have a pressure cooker. If you like Indian food, this is one is a keeper. This website shows all types of Indian recipes. I think I may have to make a trip across the bridge to replenish our spice stocks at the local Raj cash and carry. Soooo gooooddddd!<br />
<br />
I said so good twice so that means something.<br />
<br />
The job hunt for me has been slow and not so slow. I have been putting in my cover letters and resumes to many many job listings. My job counselor has been doing the same. I have not heard a peep from any of them. She told me that this time of year is hard to get a job. And when jobs come up, hundreds of people apply. I guess I have to be patient. But it is hard. I know I am doing everything correct. I am working on my skills at home with the internets help. Just have to be patient and send out those positive vibes I guess. I just want a little office job. I just want someone to give this old lady a chance.<br />
<br />
I had a long conversation with some people in the AIP community. I found a place that is actually nice and helpful<b>.<a href="https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11175/everything-you-need-to-know-about-histamine-intolerance.html"> I was told that I might have histamine intolerance</a>.</b> This might be the answer to my itching. And alot of my other issues. Even my low blood pressure. It was like a lightbulb clicked on in my head. Eureka! I have found my answer to my problems. It is a really sucky outcome but I can work with it if it is going to make me feel better. They said that when I take a zyrtec, and it helps, that is histamine. It is in the foods that I eat. Now I cannot possibly do Keto, AIP, and Histamine protocol. That would be ridiculous. I can eat low carb and work on the eating lower histamine foods. You treat all the histamine foods like you do with the AIP diet. You eliminate them all, you wait a couple weeks, and you reintroduce them one at a time. The ones that give you a reaction are out, the rest can stay back in. I have to type something up and print it out so that I can stick it on the fridge. There are alot of no no foods for me at this time. But I am tired of feeling like shit all the time.<br />
<br />
I have not been completely keto either. I dont feel like a failure about it though. I just have to try every day to get it right. Yesterday was actually pretty good. Except for the 4 hershey kisses that I ate in the evening. When you have three other adults in the house, you cannot really dictate what foods come in. I am not a dictator. I just have to not eat those things. What I need to do is eat more fat during the day. Then I wont be apt to fuck up in the evening time. Today is a clean slate.<br />
<br />
Okay. I think that is all I can do for now. I have been sneezing up a storm the whole time I have been typing this. I hope to GAWD that coffee isnt a histamine food.....*looking*..... I do not see coffee<b> <a href="https://www.food-intolerance-network.com/food-intolerances/histamine-intolerance/histamine-intolerance-hit-tolerated-foods-list.html">on this list </a></b>or the last three I scanned. Probably something else. I heard that dealing with HI is a major pain in the ass and it is a life long struggle.<br />
Again...I need to get going over here. I hope you all have a lovely and productive week. I am going to do some more sorting of the ebay pile behind me. We are up for some snow either Tuesday or Wednesday. Hopefully it is not alot because that foot of snow we had is all gone now from the warm up last week.<br />
I will see you next Monday.Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-18225873695107607972018-01-08T10:27:00.000-05:002018-01-08T10:27:03.382-05:00Praise! It is 30 deg F!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>*230-something* <---i have not stepped on a scale in a week or two so I really do not know. </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><br /></b>
<b> </b>We survived the Bombogenesis. Our little neck of CT received a generously heaping spoonful of snow. It was about a foot with nice snow drifts. The temps have been rock bottom too. Not been fun for my skin, I can tell you right now. I have been coconut oiling myself every day to combat the psoriasis and the old lady crepe from the heat being on constantly. Today is going to be in the 30s and by the middle of the week it will be close to 50. Be gone you evil snow.<br /><br /> Today I have stuffs to do but I feel a little shitty so I will be going slowly while doing them. I think my head is a little fucked because of the barometer and we are supposed to get a little snow this evening. So if I can get out of my pjs, that will be a major accomplishment. One of the things we have to do today is our DNA. Hubs and I have two 23andme DNA kits aka the government has got your ass now kits. You have to not drink or eat anything for 30 minutes and then you spit in the tube and send them off. We get to see where we came from. I have always known that I am Polish, Italian, Swedish, and Norwegian. Now could my Polish grandmother have had some Jewish ancestry that we do not know about? I guess I will find that out in a few weeks. The girls at first were a little miffed because they did not get kits. Why should you both get kits when you have the same DNA? We, as your parents, can do it and you will get the same answer. *eye roll* I will share those results when they come in.<br /><br /> My lofty plans of walking have been curtailed by the weather. My plan is to get out there tomorrow morning if it is not icy from the storm and I feel okay in the head. I have been fairly active the past few months so it isnt that I have to start slow or anything. I just did not want to freeze my tookas off. See, I could go to the Mall to walk but then I end up shopping instead. I could get a gym membership but you all remember how I paid for two years and never went once. Walking the hills of my neighborhood is the safer bet for me. My house is way too small for any exercise equipment. We tried when we bought a cheapo elliptical at Salvation Army. It worked great and it was a folding one. That shit sat in the corner. Got unfolded a couple times. Sat next to the tv set, mocking me because I never used it or even dusted it. I have a couple walking routes that I have used in the past. I just have to get dressed and do it.<br /><br /> Yo. The pressure cooker is the best thing ever. Myself and #2 have made about 6-7 meals in it so far since Christmas. I went out to Target and bought a rack to put it on. It has it`s own area by the kitchen window with it`s own plug. No need to move it off and on the counters. We have very limited counter space. We have a galley kitchen. Only room for 1-2 butts at a time. Anyway...the pressure cooker is really good. I made fork tender pulled pork in 1 hour and 30 minutes. What! And it tasted like it was cooking for hours. We cooked chili, a few soups, pulled pork, a chicken dish, hamburger dish, and all were good. You can find many recipes online for using the electric pressure cooker. I still say, if you do not have one..beg borrow or plead to get one.<br />
<br />
I had a revelation last week after posting here. I am not doing AIP and Keto. When I try to eat that way, I do not eat at all. I practically starving and I am not being literal. It is so hard to keep your blood sugars low but also stick to the strict Auto immune way of eating. You just cannot do it. Unless you have unlimited grocery resources and/or you have someone to cook for you. I just couldnt do it. I have decided and started to eat keto but I am not going to eat certain foods like nuts and peanuts. I will eliminate all nightshades except tomatoes because they are life. And I am going to eat limited dairy. Sometimes I need it in a pinch if I am hungry but I will not seek it out and especially in large amounts. Back on track. Keto for me is the smart solution to alot of my medical problems.<br />
<br />
I had a birthday. Saturday I turned 49 years old. It was a good day. Of course it was not keto complaint but that was my last food thing until October comes around again. Hoping I am thin as a reed and have a stronger constitution by the time it is Halloween. We have a couple more birthdays coming up but I can say no to cake. I had my slice...okay two slices. It was Red Velvet and I was not gonna say no. Someone that is way young was shocked when he saw my FB post about turning 49. He said WTF! I thought you were 32!<br />He either does not know how to determine someones age or he needs a new eyeglass prescription. But I will take the compliment as the best present ever.<br /><br /> Okay. I need to get going. I have to be a taxi today and I have to get out of this feeling like crap mode. I hope you have a wonderful week and I will see you on the next.<br /><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-37173340838622011182018-01-02T13:37:00.000-05:002018-01-02T13:37:24.145-05:00A new year to conquer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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*237* <----I gained but I got it back down to this<br />
<br />
I have a feeling you have all disappeared because of my blogging hiatus. I really wasnt planning on coming back at all. Life got away from me and this was not something I had time for. I mean, theoretically, if I did want to do it, I would find time to. But I just did not. If you had been waiting for me to come back, I am sorry.<br />
<br />
You still know I am alive because my IG is attached and you can see my postings. You can also see that Keiko is a BIG girl. She is my sweet little muffin baby. She is not nice to everyone else but me. And that is how it should be. We lost Perla last month (the chihuahua). Vet thinks it was an bad intestinal infection. It came on quickly and took her without her having to go through any trauma going to the vet. Ruby is the lone dog now. We have put her on a diet and she is liking her single status. But we make sure not to say Perla`s name. She looks around for her if we do.<br />
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About 2 months ago, I started a new way of eating challenge. Because of my diagnosis of Psoriatic Arthritis, I wanted to try not to take any strong medications for it. I was given the idea that I should eat AIP (autoimmune protocol) and Keto (because of my blood sugars). These two styles of eating for health come together as a very harsh harsh way of eating. HARSH! I had fallen off the keto wagon and gained about 20lbs. It was all stress related to health stuff. It was time and with a good talking to, I embarked into the AIP/KETO. I did not fully immerse myself into fat, and I was hungry all the time. I decided to give myself the Christmas holidays to indulge (but not over indulge) and pick back up on it for January. And here I am. AIP?KETO consists of avoiding grains, gluten, nightshades, nuts, seeds, bad for you oils, all fruits but berries occasionally, dairy, eggs, rice, high carb veggies, coffee, and sugar. I have been drinking tea in place of coffee and it has been okay. I have a nice strong English Breakfast that gives me the caffeine I need to get through life. <br />
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I do not want to get into my health woes anymore. If it is something serious, I will mention it but otherwise, I am gonna keep it to myself. That is probably why I have no followers because it reads like a pity party. It isn't but some may perceive it that way. I do want to mention a couple things. I had a architectural distortion removed from my breast, it was not cancer. I did BRCA 1 and 2 genetic testing and it came back negative. I could still be positive though. It is weird how that stuff is but the girls are safe. I was supposed to start taking a cancer drug this month but I decided against it. The side effects were too much for me to want to have to deal with. I will be having a MRI and Mammo on my breasts every six months to make sure there is no more growths. My gut is good and bad. Because of my change in eating, I have healed alot of my ulcerations and I am in good status with my colitis. I did find out from the new gastro that I am celiac. It explains alot.<br />
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Right now, at this point in my life, I am doing okay. My birthday is on Satuday. The big 49. The last of the 40s. I will miss them when they are gone. As for the new year, no resolutions but just realizations. I have to stay with AIP until all my symptoms are gone. Then I slowly re-introduce foods on the no list. Some I will be able to add back, some I will never be able to eat again. Wheat and all gluten of course. I will stick with that modified AIP and Keto for as long as I am allowed to. I want to really start walking. It is way too bitterly cold here in the Northeast but when it gets back up to the 30s, I am out there. I have the sneakers. I have the socks. I have the clothes to get the job done. It will be better for my arthritis anyway if I stop being so stagnant and move my ligaments and joints. So walking and eating for health are #1 and #2 on my life realizations.<br />
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Clutter has gotta go. I have been saying this for years but now I mean it. I want to get rid of anything that is just not worthy of this tiny space we have in this house. I have been tossing stuff that is garbage, donating , and selling since the Fall. Now I need to step up my game. I have books to donate, treasures to sell, and clothes to purge. If I have never used it, it has to go. I tend to hold onto some things because of nostalgia or it is old and I must own it. But I think I am done with all that. I want to make run for other things. Crap that is collecting dust and has no purpose for us can leave this house and give someone else a purpose. DeCluttering in 2018 is #3.<br />
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Money. Money has really been difficult this past year. I have been working with a state agency to get help with getting a job. I really want to try to do it. I am at the stage now where I am very close. I had two really good job interviews. I did not get the jobs but it is good practice. Now that the holidays are over, we are flooding my resumes out there in the ethers and hoping someone wants to give this old smart girl a chance. I have always said, I need to budget. I need to save money. Blah blah blah. And then I do not do it. Once I wanted to try a no spend year. Nope. Then I tried No Spend Months. Nope, could even do that. I have a new attitude about it now. I aint spending any money. I have bills that need to be paid and paid off. I want to not stress about tax time. I want to have a nice job with some little part time job on the side. Make a good amount of money, be out in the world with people, and just enjoy that part of life that I have missed for the past 16 years. Have a healthy relationship with Money is #4.<br />
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That is it. I have four goals for my life right there. I hope to at least accomplish them all. LMAO. I am realistic. But I have been thinking about this stuff since way before the holidays. I may fail at them all but I am going to try and we shall see how it goes.<br /><br />If anyone is still out there, I am going to try to blog once every Monday. I will put it in my calendar to remind my forgetful ass. I guess I could say Blogging my shit would be #5 on that list of life affirming junk.<br />
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Toodles. :)<br />
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Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-91294131411900407542017-07-27T11:00:00.000-04:002017-07-27T11:00:11.599-04:00Kitten Life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-z0tiiekKc6c/WXnwUi8AVfI/AAAAAAAAEwo/86LBxMgHpSU_ZuYJXkQvyJqnF0iOQ_VmgCLcBGAs/s1600/20280644_10156582545308298_6871786365474755825_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="843" data-original-width="843" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-z0tiiekKc6c/WXnwUi8AVfI/AAAAAAAAEwo/86LBxMgHpSU_ZuYJXkQvyJqnF0iOQ_VmgCLcBGAs/s400/20280644_10156582545308298_6871786365474755825_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>*234* <---according to the scale at the Neuro</b><br /><br /> That is Keiko aka Little Girl on my summer handbag. For the past three years, I pull out this lovely jute/wickery handbag with the leather straps for lugging all my crap in. I love it and I will use it till either the end of time or another fancy summer bag comes along. LG seems to think it is hers. She likes to chew on the jute. She is getting big. Her first vet appt, she weighed in a 3.3 lbs and she was 12 weeks old. She has another appt in two more weeks for her second shot and to see how big she has grown. The vet will be able to gauge when she should be fixed by how large she has gotten from the last visit. She is an eater for sure. We used to serve one can of wet with a bowl of dry food for the two boys. Now it is 2 cans of wet with the dry. She gets along with everybody for the most part. Milo has taken her under his wing. Oli is tolerating her ass but all is okay. She is a good addition to our crazy family. Cats outnumber dogs at this point. I do not call her Keiko. Her name is Little Girl. LOL<br />
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I am so thankful that the weather has broken and the humidity has lifted somewhat. I was having a really bad time of it with it. Really bad. My brain was just not able to deal with the squish of the humidity. Once it lifted, I felt so much better. I will just pray the summer away. We havent even been about to enjoy the beach...at all. I have not swam once this summer. And I bought a bathing suit and a beach pass. Dammit! It has just been a very busy summer so far and we have not had the time to squeeze that in. I do have a nice Vitamin D tan going though. I have been out in the sun, with sunscreen while I worked in the garden or did a plethora of other shit. I am patiently waiting Fall. I will gladly pay for home heating oil instead of electricity for the ACs.<br /><br /> I want to say that I had a discussion with the Hubs about this whole not spending money thing for a <b>MONTH</b>. He did actually listen. I talked to Kid #2 about it because she can be a bad influence too when it comes to spending. I have to have them in my corner otherwise this will never work. Look. Another month has gone by and I did not follow through. I know I spent less on groceries but as for actual spending on stuff that is not essential....I suck. So again, I will push for August to be the month. It has to be. Just one fucking Month girl. Just one to prove you can do it! ugh. It is like being on a diet..... Does anyone notice that not all scales are universal? You go one place and it says you weigh like 230. Then you go to another place and it says you weigh 240. That is very discouraging. Who do you believe? Do you take an average of all the places that you have been and is that your weight? I could see a 3-5 lb difference but 10 lbs is alot. Too much not to wonder.<br />
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Oh yeah, speaking of that. I have gone quite a few days on keto. I am not in ketosis yet but I will be. I found out this week that my gastro is moving out of state. He will stop seeing patients at the end of August. I have an appt on the 1st. I am very sad. He has helped me so much with my gut. Now I have to start all over again with somebody else. Hopefully he or my endo can point me in the direction of a Dr that I can use that I wont want to yell at. Anyway..I am totally into keto flu and this is usually when I cave. I cannot cave. I must be strong! I must be able to get back on the keto horse. I have mapped out a plan. I have August through the end of December to lose 40lbs. That is my goal for the end of the year. I also need to stick to the plan because in November, I will be having bloodwork done and my cholesterol will be checked. I want to truly see if the keto makes a difference for me. It didnt make one before when I was fully into it. I want to make a difference now. I have been following the<b> </b><a href="http://www.glycemicindex.com/"><b>glycemic index</b> </a>to help me in choosing foods to eat. Like I just figured out that Cherries are actually not a good choice for me and my diabetes. I put them back in the fridge and grabbed to squares of Dofino Havarti Cheese. These will make me feel full and wont raise my blood sugar.<br />
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Ketogenic eating has become a sexy thing to do. It has become a fad. It bothers some but it really doesnt bother me that much. I look at it as an opportunity for companies to start making stuff geared towards us. That is a good things. As long as it is not a chemical shit storm. People think they can do this and drop a quick 20lbs. It doesnt work like that. This is a slow way of losing weight. But when your body drops some weight, it is a large amount at once. You could go 2 months and the scale doesnt move. Then one day you look at you dropped 12 lbs. This is a way of eating for life for some of us. It is not a diet. I just have to really be strong this time. I am gonna do it do it do it!<br />
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August 7 I am having a radial scare removed from my left breast. It is a surgery but it is outpatient. I am glad it is a Monday cause Hubby has Mondays off. He can cater to my ass while I shake off the anesthesia. Radial scars are not cancer. But they can develop into cancer. And having them raises your risk of getting breast cancer in either breast. Since my girls are very dense, it is safer to take it out so that they can biopsy the whole thing. We want to make sure there is no cancer hiding behind it. I am not very nervous about it. It is a good thing. I will have a scar but my boob will look the same as it always did. Crossing fingers and toes that they do not find anything. If I did not say it before, my liver ultrasound came out great. They did not find the polyp that I had on my liver before. It is gone. Yay!<br /><br /> I am dealing with keto flu really bad. I am just dragging along over here. I need to take a shower and get an outfit set up for my appt today. I go to the Urologist today to find out why I have pain. Then I have to pick up the car because it is being serviced. If you saw the pictures on IG, you saw the new car. We bought a 2006 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo. It is our beater car. The Nissan will probably not last the end of the year so we wanted to get while we could. See..I spent money on a vehicle. But we need it. We love the BMW but you cannot use that car for every day stuffs all the time.<br />
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<b> Fuck me! Keto Flu SUCKS SO BAD! </b>I will be strong. I will prevail. I will not eat any potatoes and ruin my progress! NO! NO! NO!<br />
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Okay. I need to get off this thing. Shower. Wash my body. Pick out a nice outfit. Go to the Doctor. Come home and decide on dinner. I think it will be of the sausage and onion variety. I also have some broccoli I can steam and smother in butter. Sounds like a plan. I also need to get ready cause August 1st is coming and I am NOT spending money. I swear to Gah...I am not doing it.<br /><br />Have a good rest of your week.<br />
<br />Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-67668268570560122872017-07-11T09:07:00.000-04:002017-07-11T09:07:45.752-04:00You can have too much Vitamin D<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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*233*<br />
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I was scolded at the Endo this week. He said I was taking too much Vitamin D. He was worried I could get <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hypercalcemia/home/ovc-20316711">hypercalcemia </a>and that was extremely bad. He didnt want to have to treat that and I did not want to experience it. Luckily, my level was only double what it should be. I threw away my 5000mg pills (in one of those pill packs) and I bought a bottle of 1000mg. I can start the new pills in two weeks. Vitamin D is a fat soluable pill so it stays in your body longer. I can go awhile without taking it and let the levels get down to normal. I wonder what that will mean for my psoriasis. It is not super bad like some people but it is annoying. The dots of it keeping coming up and I keep slapping steriod cream on them. I am going to try this lotion, <a href="https://www.walmart.com/ip/Dermarest-Psoriasis-Medicated-Moisturizer-4-fl-oz/39119970?action=product_interest&action_type=title&beacon_version=1.0.2&bucket_id=irsbucketdefault&client_guid=12b69a7b-1baa-48ac-8fef-f868af5d38d3&config_id=106&customer_id_enc&findingMethod=p13n&guid=12b69a7b-1baa-48ac-8fef-f868af5d38d3&item_id=39119970&parent_anchor_item_id=14895449&parent_item_id=14895449&placement_id=irs-106-t1&reporter=recommendations&source=new_site&strategy=PWVUB&visitor_id=etr5AVy7pMS3HPy3L5egw0">Dermarest</a>, and see if that helps at all. I am not super self conscious about the lesions that pop up but some of them can get really big and I hate those. I will report back on whether it works or not.<br /><br /> My appointment with the endo was interesting . No change in my insulin (yes). He is sad because I am allergic to all the pills for Cholesterol. He has no way to treat me and it is putting me at risk for heart disease. He told me to lose weight. Lose alot of weight. And he said that not eating animal fat would help alot too. I dont think I could be vegan or plant based. I have talked about it. I have dabbled in it. But I have to be honest. I like to eat meat. I have practically given up on dairy. I will have some here or there and it will hurt me but most of the time, I do not have it at all. Eggs I have very rarely because they hate me too. This morning I am partaking on some low carb toast with some mashed avocado on top. I am a basic bitch. I know it. But it sure tastes yummy. Gives you some perspective on your life and what you have to do to prolong it.<br /><br /> The kitten is doing very well. She was named Keiko but I do not like it. Basically, I got this kitten, I searched out this kitten, I paid for this kitten, I will have to pay for her first appointment, her fix, her food, and her life but I did not get to even choose her name. I call her Kitten Boo. That is her name to me. That is me feeling a bit bitter and bitchy this morning. Forgive me. My period is late again. Lack of estrogen. Plus I am tired from cleaning yesterday, I have paperwork I needs straightened out, and I have to drive Kid #1 to New Haven for a Doctors appt. 1 hour drive one way. I do not mind it because she needs to go, I am just tired today and do not wish to go. Eh.<br /><br /> That is it for now. Short post. Nothing fun. I have to get dressed and go to the insurance agents this morning. It seems they did not inform DMV that our Jeep was totalled. I received paperwork that needs to be rectified. Can I just not adult today? I would like to lay on the leather couch I bought but it seems that my oldest thinks it is hers and hers alone. I have yet to take a nap on it. Yes, that is me being bitter again but still. I have not laid on it and all.<br /><br />Okay...i am gonna go now. :)<br />
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<br />Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-12512986438449063812017-07-04T09:09:00.000-04:002017-07-04T09:09:39.588-04:00Fourth of July 2017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JXVdoUhaMqI/WVuGKTSa_4I/AAAAAAAAEvY/ZrU5UsdKlE828IT8AaCEpTg7Rb1yzC0tACLcBGAs/s1600/liberace-4th-of-july.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="634" data-original-width="600" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JXVdoUhaMqI/WVuGKTSa_4I/AAAAAAAAEvY/ZrU5UsdKlE828IT8AaCEpTg7Rb1yzC0tACLcBGAs/s400/liberace-4th-of-july.jpg" width="377" /></a></div>
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<b>*fat fat fat*</b><br />
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Happy Fourth of July! I hope you have a nice, sunny, and safe holiday today. I hope you have the day off with pay. I am going to be cleaning today but when I get home, I will be re-arranging the living room and we will cook out on the grill. Everyone has the day off except for us having to clean for two hours. No biggie. It helps pay the bills. <br /><br /> I have started the do no spend July but I did purchase something yesterday that we needed and we were lucky to get. Our living room had two couches that had to go. One had an actual hole in it from the cat. He dug himself a hidey hole. We had to get rid of these couches and I found a really nice custom leather couch with a matching chair for a steal. They even delivered them! So I have to re-arrange the living room today to make it more cohesive. The no spend is on like Donkey Kong but I had to throw that amendment to the rules. We HAD to get rid of those holed couches and if you look at my IG photos, you know why. ......back to the no spend thing in a minute.<br /><br /> <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do I get to go to work with you?<br /></td></tr>
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<br /> That is Kit Kat. Kid #2 and I had decided we did not like the name Kiki so we will call her Kit. Kid #1 will call her Kiki. Her official name on her paperwork at the vet will be Kit Kat. I have been talking for a couple months that I was ready for a new baby since Lu passed away. I had been searching everywhere but could not find anyone that had kittens. Then the kitten explosion happened and everyone wanted 100s of dollars for them. Like seriously? I understand you want a fee so the cat is not used for bait but it is not a Siamese. I lucked out. My friend let me know that one of the local animal controls had a litter. Kid #1 and I went. I wanted another boy because I like boy cats. But this little girl with the curls came home with us. I bought her collar with a bell so we will always know where she is until she is big enough to fend for herself. It took about a week but everyone in the animal kingdom has okay with her. She is full of piss and vinegar, I tell you. She is a true kitteh. I paid $50 for her. That came with a vax and spay certificate. So basically she was free, we rescued her from the pound, and she is a cute little shit. <div>
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Back to the spending and eating. Yes bitch. Yes! I am going to do it this time. The only bill I have that is not regular is the water bill and other then that, I am sticking to the budget. I have my notebook for receipts and notations. This week I am going to do an inventory of the pantry and freezers. See what I have and eat from them this month. Super glad for the Farmers Market because it is much cheaper then the store. I can do this. I am also really really really needing to get back on track with keto. I know. I know. I have said this before. My gut has not been happy with my food choices. Not at all. Fuck. I am addicted to sugar and I am addicted to wheat. I act like potatoes are fine because they are just potatoes but they are not fine. They are one of the highest carbs and I am fooling myself into fat girl submission. I have gained weight. I am still in a size 16 but if I continue this trend, I will have to start wearing a size 18 and THAT IS NOT HAPPENING! </div>
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Of course I talk about this when today is a eating day and this weekend is <a href="http://sailfest.org/"><b>Sailfest</b></a>. Kid #2 said she would buy me lunch at Sailfest this weekend. I will get to eat a sausage with onions and peppers (no bun) but I will not break my budget. It is a win/win. Today for foods I have hamburgers, hot dogs, and Italian sausages. I will be making tomato, cucumber, and red onion salad. I have chips and dip (no girl). Watermelon and cherries. And I will probably make a small baked mac and cheese for the girls. And of course, always a tossed salad. I have some ripe avocados that I will be eating too. Yum. I love a good house grill. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b> It wouldnt be my blog without a health thing to talk about. Amiright? </b></span><br /> </div>
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Soooo. I am having supposed bladder issues. There is pain. But not UTI type pain. I had a regular check up with my gastro. He said if the Urologist cannot figure it out, he will do a colonoscopy. I had made a yearly with my gyno and got in right away. I told him about my bladder issues plus the fact that I am going through perimenopause. He told me that I have fibroids but they wouldnt cause the kind of pain I am experiencing. Yada Yada Yada. Then I tell him about my breast saga. I had said that I was told that if I had a radial scar, it had to come out. But when my endo/gp looked at the results, he said I was fine. I said I love my GP but he is not a breast man. Could you look at the report? He said he would but everything is probably fine. I get a call from his office 2 hours later. I need to see a surgeon. Yup. I made an appt on the 18th with supposedly THE best breast surgeon around. It will have to come out. Just great. Oh...and I have to see the Urologist on the 12th. I will have to have that icky scope up my urethra so he can look to see what is going on. He will push pills for over active bladder and I will not take them. I do not want to take pharmaceuticals if I can help it. If it is very very necessary for life and limb, yes. Otherwise, I will deal. I hate that scope. It feels awful. It feels exposing. I hate it! But I will do it because we have to know why it hurts. It is probably a kidney stone. That is my prediction. </div>
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What else? Hmmm. Hubs likes the new job. His pay is much less then what he was making before but it is a job and that is ok. He has alot of guy time, he gets to leave in the company truck to make drop offs, he is busy the entire time, and he is sleeping like a stone. I have an appointment with BRS this week. They had me take a test to see what type of jobs I am suited for. I am guessing I will start with help with resume. Help with interviewing. And then finding a job suited to my physical abilities. That is why we will be okay. I will find a nice little job to make up the difference. I am glad I am going to give it a try. He is still going to look for another job though. He does deserve more money. At least $1-2 more. We shall see. <br /> </div>
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I think our garden is toast. I have not been in a few days. It did rain two days ago but we have been so busy we have not been back. I am afraid that it will be a wilted mess. I hope not. I have some nice tomato plants there. I wish I could have beds here at the house. We just do not have enough sun for that. There are trees in the neighbors yards (front and on the side) that still shade us. The plants will not get a full 5-6 hours of sun a day. It bums me out. I am glad I have the community beds but at the same time, I do not like having to drive two miles away to water and weed. It is a pain in the ass. Especially for someone like me who has issues with body pain. I am saying it now (and I might change my mind) that this will be my last year at the garden. As much as I love to do it, I will just do containers here at the house and work on boosting flowers instead. Plus..two of our beds are infested with ants. I have tried three times so far to get rid of them but to no avail. It is pissing me off.<br /><br /> Okay..I think that is about it. I am still in my jammies. I have to get up, take meds, get dressed, and move it. I have a great one. I will be back to give a full report on the Piss Doc and the Boob Surgeon.<br /><br />TTFN<br /><br /><br /></div>
Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-58660684306541404842017-06-20T09:35:00.000-04:002017-06-20T09:35:07.495-04:00I must be broken or something<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>*230* <---all scales are subjective</b><br />
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I suck. Shake your head at me. I cannot follow through on shit. This was supposed to be No Spend June and it turned into OMG SPEND SOME MONEY BITCH! I had a vet bill, I had to put oil in the tank, we had to have a dying tree cut down ($600!!!), and I had to buy work clothes for the Hubs new job. Plus I just have no fucking self control when it comes to spending. It started off innocently enough. The heat wave hit and I realized after pulling out all my summer clothes that I owned 2 pairs of shorts total. And one pair was to short for my liking. So i decided that it was okay for me to go to Goodwill and buy some shorts. And I did. I spend $25 on a few pairs of shorts. That is all I bought and I felt okay with that. Then it just snowballed. Again with the take out food. Again with the multiple trips to the grocery store. What the literal fuck, Heidi?<br />
<br />
But if any of you have read here at all, you know that I am a fighter. I will do this again. I am not calling this month a lost cause but I am going to start again fresh for July. Hubs has a new job with different hours. I will have to do all the stuffs around here because he wont be around during the day. When he is around, I do not get much done. I dont know why. Now that he will be gone during the day....I can get the ebay started up again. I can get projects done. I will clean. I will be bored because he is not here so I will do tasks around the house. We shall see if the change in venue will give me a boost of NOT SPENDING. I really am ashamed of myself. I could not even do it for a whole month. There are people out there that have done it for a year. A freaking YEAR! <br />
<br />
Okay..I am done flagellating myself.<br /><br /> Today is the last day of Spring 2017. So far the veggie garden sucks. The only plants that are doing well are the tomatoes. They are growing really nicely. The peppers are not doing well at all. This weird weather has not given them an opportunity to grow. The ones at the community garden looks like they need to be pulled and start all over again. I have time I guess. Yes, buying plants for the garden is spending money. But I place them in the category of food so it is added to the grocery budget. Since we had the tree cut down in the top yard, we also had some branches trimmed. I got rid of that big one in the side yard that was almost touching the house. Super happy that is gone. We were getting mossy on the roof on that side of the house. Let`s see. Oh yes. I broke the sink upstairs. Dont ask (unless I already told you but I am not searching to see if I did). That was another $200 for a new sink/cabinet/faucet plus give friend some cash for helping. The sink looks faboo though. The old one came with the house and it was supposedly built in to the wall. Like they made it. This one is smaller which is good. Gives the bathroom a little bit more leg room. See, I can be positive.<br /><br />
Let me think of some positives for this post. Hubs got a new job. We have a beautiful new bathroom sink. The tree that could have fallen on our house is gone. There is more sun in the yard. I took a walk at the beach yesterday......Oh yeah. Yesterday it was overcast and I decided to take a walk on the boardwalk at the beach in the morning. I did the full boardwalk once. I did not have my sneakers on (last minute decision to go) so I did not want to hurt my feet. I always say that I am going to walk for exercise but I do not. It is because there is this level of guilt that if I go without others, I am a shit head. I do not want to wait until other people decide they want to go. I want to just go. It is better for me to just do it in the morning before it gets hot. Take the two mile walk that I have mapped out, come home, take a shower, and start the rest of my day. I had already decided that tomorrow will be that day.<br />
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What else? Positives! I dont know. I just know I need to get off this computer. I have to strip the bed and wash all the bed linens. I have to water the plants upstairs and vacuum. I have a mountain of my clothes to put away. That is what I will miss the most. Hubs did all the laundry. Now that his shift has flipped, he is going to be too tired to be doing that. Did I just say that? LOL I think he needs to know how much I appreciate him. Oh. I forgot. I had an MRI on my cervical spine. It shows arthritis but there is not bulges or herniations. Yay me!<br />
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That is all for now. I am sorry that I missed a week. Last week, I had a UTI from hell and I was just not in the mood for anything. If you have ever had a UTI, you will completely understand.<br />I will be back next week with more of my whining.<br />
<br />Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-74259002308417577452017-06-05T13:09:00.000-04:002017-06-05T13:11:11.336-04:00No Spend June Week 1<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hot Flashes SUCK!</td></tr>
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*233*<br />
<br />
I am warning myself and anyone that is reading. I have to leave here to take Kid #1 someplace so this post can be really good and at some point it drops off a cliff. If I stay here and write, I can keep my train of thought. If I have to leave and come back hours later and I do not have any notes as to what I wanted to talk about, this post get real boring, really quick. With that being said, I will tell you how my past week has gone.<br />
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We will start off with the spending. I did cave a little bit. Someone gave us a never used fire pit. Oh bestill my beating heart. I have always wanted one! We will use it up in the top yard. Anyway, I was at Walmart picking up cleaning stuff and a bit of groceries and Hubs NEEDED a pair of readers cause he finally decided to fess up. So everything on that day was within the bounds of need except for two tiki torches. Total for the two was a little over $8. They will keep us from being bitten when we are burning the woods. No excusing what I did but I said I would fess up. As for how I did this week, I did pretty good. I stuck to the plan. Since last week was a short one, I did not spend $150 on groceries. I spent 88.53 on groceries, that included those glasses, toiletries, dog and cat food. I paid all the allotted bills for this week. I did spend $50 for our portion for a cookout that is coming up next month. I could have said no, I cannot but that would have started a major shit so I decided to treat it like a bill just for this month. I have been bringing water with me and I bring my coffee in metal coffee cuppy thing for the car. There will be no stops for nothing unless my blood sugar is tanking and I have stuff in my purse for that anyway. So yes, I did not completely no spend this week. I am hoping this week will be much better.<br />
I am not much of a coupon person because I do not buy many processed foods. That is where most of the savings in coupons comes from. You never find a coupon for a gallon of milk. At least, I never have. I do not have the cognitive patience to hunt down, sort out, and use them. I will just try to shop less. Keep within the budget boundaries and see how I do this month. I took out a ham for dinner. I read that you can cook it frozen. It will take 4 hours to cook but that is okay. It is only 1pm. That ham will give us a few meals this week. Pea soup included!<br />
Today was my last day of PT. We mutually decided that two months was good. It really isnt helping me so I have to follow up with my massage therapist. Soft tissue injuries can be a pain in the ass. I know that is true. I am tired of being in constant pain in my neck and head. If you had a daily headache, you would be in a pissy mood also. I sent message to the lawyers office and to my massage therapist. Once a week should be good to help out. I have a TENS unit here so I will use that and my traction. I will not let this get any worse if I can help it. <br />
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I read an entire book this weekend. That hasnt happened in ages. The book is called <a href="http://www.wheatbellyblog.com/">Wheat Belly</a>. It talks about how the wheat and grains we eat today are nothing genetically like the wheat and grains our grandparents ate. Wheat is the reason many of us are sick. I knew this already but I needed a refresher. It is basically talking about keto without actually saying keto. It is not a keto book. It is a really good book that will open your eyes. If you can get a copy, give it a gander. My next book is about sugar addiction. I cannot remember what it is called. Let me find the picture.....<br />
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The Sugar Detox one. That is what I will read next. I read all about Perimenopause in the dummy book but I have to read the rest. The houseplant book will be a fun book to get different ideas on houseplants. Speaking of, I am going to repot my tall cactus today. Wish me luck. I do know how to handle them (use a newspaper lasso to hug around the plant for lifting). She is need of a bigger pot and fresh soil. I will do that after I drop the kid off. But these are the books I bought at the library book sale. I cannot believe I have gotten back into reading. It has been so hard the past few years to have some kind of cognitive skill to pay attention or have the want to read. I was a big time reader. BIG! I know that it could disappear again just as quickly as it came so I will enjoy it while it lasts.<br />
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Hot flashes suck. I have been suffering so badly the past 10 days or so. All I have to do is bend over to pick up a fork and I break out in a flop sweat. We have been having a very cold Spring and still cool into the 2nd week of June. Part of me hopes it stays this way but we know that will not happen. Summer has to show up eventually. And I will have to find a block of ice to sit on.<br />
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I am really tired of younger people acting like their auto immune issues are way more important then mine. It seems that age doesn't matter to some people. I can be over 20 years older then a person but supposedly their aches and pains are more significant. Because I know how to pace myself, I should be the one taking care of them. Even though I have alot of bad days, I am expected to forgo my own health plan to make sure others get what they need. I want to say bullshit really loudly. But I have been told that wouldnt be fair. I just sit and ignore the moans and groans. Most of the time, those noises are a signal for ME to do something. Nah! I had to say it! It has been bugging me lately and especially today.<br />
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Oh...I got my mouth guard this week. Happy Day! It is used for people that grind their teeth at night. The grinding is really not good for the periodontal. I did have a guard that I bought at the pharmacy. It worked really well but they are only good for a few months. I hope to see some really good results with my teeth numbers when I go to get counted in July. When you have periodontal disease, they count the spaces between your gums and your upper inside teeth. It is not a pleasant experience. It is looking for bone loss. Each tooth is given a number. The lower the number (0,1,2,3) the better. Upper numbers are bad. My back lower right molar aka problem child is a lost cause. It is at an 8 at this point. We keep it because it is still rooted in my mouth. You want to keep the teeth in your head as long as possible.<br />
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That is about it for now. Send out positive thoughts to me this week. NO SPENDING! NO SPENDING! NO SPENDING! You can do it Heidi! We have faith in you!<br />
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Have a good week, all.Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-78555580015949553802017-06-01T13:57:00.000-04:002017-06-01T13:57:31.755-04:00June 1st Equals New Beginnings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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*233* <---I checked at PT yesterday. This is good! I lost 6lbs!<br />
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I have a headache. So I do not know how long this post will be. I am going to consume some Tylenol and hope that it goes away. I am toasting some low carb bread and I will spread some plant based cheeze on it. I didn't eat much last night cause I just wasn't feeling it.<br />
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Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit! Happy June 1st to you all. Summer is basically here in my mind. It is still too cool here in my neck of the woods but the sun is out today. Just today though. More rain to come this week. Yuck. I really need to go to the community garden today on my travels and pick some radishes. I have to remember to grab my tomato cages for there also. We have radishes, lettuce, four types of tomatoes, basil, cayenne peppers, and strawberries. When the lettuce and radish is over, we will plant some bell peppers in their place.<br /><br />
Okay, I also made a bowl of salad greens with a cut up hard boiled egg, a slice of cheddar cheese, red wine vinegar with salt and pepper. Well rounded with the cheese toast. My headache is subsiding a little bit. *eating*<br />
Ahhh. Feel much better. Okay..<br />
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Today starts the first official day of No Spend June. I have a notebook set up where I will calculate how much I spend on groceries and any bills that come up that are not in the normal realm of the budget. I had to pay a small hospital bill and Hubs had to pay his $50 portion to go to a family cookout. The girls and I are not going because we cannot afford to pay for everyone. Plus we have other stuffs going on. I did go out and buy a case of water. That is going to stop me from going out and buying drinks. Baby steps with some things just yet. I did buy a insulated coffee cup for me and the hubs so we can bring coffee with us when we go out. I am really going to stick with this. If I cannot do this for an entire month, there is something wrong with me. Even if a deal is so outrageously good, I am not doing it. I had a lottery scratch off ticket that was a $3 winner. I cashed it in and took the money. I would have easily just bought another ticket. Nope. That is an extra $3 in the budget. I will do some sort of tally at the end of each week so like on Sundays. I have five weeks this month so this is going to be interesting.<br />
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Today also starts getting back into keto full time. I am going to really fight the carby cravings and the keto flu for the next week. I will not cave! I fit into 80% of my summer shorts from last year. There are a couple that need me to lose about 5 more lbs or so. I have a couple shirts that I wore that I will not wear yet because I really need to lose the spare tire again. She is more like a bike tire now but it is still there and no no no. The saving money and the keto eating work two fold also. I need to spend a day going through the pantry, fridge, and both freezers. Throw anything away that needs to go cause it is old, make a list of what I have, and then we can go from there when we go shopping. I am not going to do a whole month shopping at once because our house isnt that big. I plan on doing a every two week big shopping and once a week perishable shopping. Dairy, eggs, veggies. And I will always stick to my list because I have to.<br /><br />Okay. I can do this! I have to decide what is for dinner. I do have some tilapia that I could bake. I have some asparagus too. That would be a nice dinner. Lemon fish with greens and asparagus. Add some fat in there like butter galore. Mmmm<br /><br />I gotta go now. The kid needs a ride to work. Have a good week and I wish me luck!Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-73278896175525962902017-05-29T15:25:00.000-04:002017-05-29T15:27:14.716-04:00Memorial Day 2017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>*237...maybe and hot flashes suck!*</b><br />
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I hope you are having a solemn and sunny Memorial Day today. It has been raining since pretty early this morning. I think cooking on the grill is a no today for us. Many of the local parades have been cancelled also. I can cook inside the house but I was so looking forward to charred sausages. At least we wont have to hear any fireworks tonight from the neighbors. Crossing fingers.<br />
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June 1st is the start of an experiment for us as a family. I am going to try to do a No Spend Month. We will pay bills, scripts, necessities, and groceries. We are going to eat out of the freezers and the cabinets also. There is alot of food in there that needs to see the light of day. I will shop for things like perishables but we will extremely limit what we buy at the grocery store this month. I bought my monthly order of low carb bread for Hubs and I. I was going to buy a couple other things but I deleted from the list. Bread is all we really need and bread is all we are going to get. I love the low carb bread by the way. OMG! You can find it on <a href="http://netrition.com/">Netrition.com</a> and it is called <a href="http://www4.netrition.com/glc_bread_company_bread.html">Great Low Carb Bread Company. </a> Yes, it is 7.99 a loaf. But the slices are thin and you keep the bread in the freezer to make it last. I bought one loaf of Everything bread. It lasted almost a month. And we were very conservative with it. I bought 3 loaves this time. They will probably last us about two months total. Really good if you are diabetic and want to eat bread again.<br />
Anyway. I am going to make a list in my notebook of all the necessities I buy for the month of June. If it is not something we need, I am not buying it. I have a packed pantry that needs to be organized so we can actually see what we have to use for meals. I bought two big bags of charcoal on sale so that will last us too. I want this house to be worked on and it will not happen if we are constantly buying take out. Enough!<br />
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The kid and I planted peppers, tomatoes, and basil yesterday. It has been a slow start to the growing season but it will pick up as it gets warmer. She pulled some nice big radishes and they were super spicy the way I like it. We have many strawberries that are tiny and white. They will be a lovely treat in a couple weeks. I do have some strawberries in the fridge that I need to cut up and freeze. I always have something that has to be done. Ugh. Since it is raining, I will probably do burgers and sausages in the house. I have some curly fries for the girls. Hubs and I can have some <a href="https://brooklynsupper.com/baked-cauliflower-bites/">baked cauliflower that I found online</a>. I will use almond flour in place of the bread crumbs. I have not bought the low carb bread crumbs yet.<br />
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I have been doing well without taking the steroid of my gut. If I stay away from dairy and wheat, my colon is a good girl. It doesnt get all upset by my food choices. I do have to give up alot but I would rather just eat right instead of taking a pill that will make me blow up like a balloon. I am doing good this past week. I still am dealing with the pain from my whiplash but if I ignore that shit, all is okay. I am surprised I am not dealing with fibro flare. The weather has been so iffy lately. We have not had steady warmth yet. It is coming. Just not today.<br />
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I am procrasting while I post this. I have dishes waiting for me and I have a pile of clothes to put away. I put half away yesterday so the other half is screaming for recognition. I am putting away winter and pulling out summer. I am also tossing anything I did not wear. They will go in the donation bins. I have to make room for others that I might find for free or really cheap...just not in June. So yeah..i could really just take a nap at this point cause the weather calls for it. I will do a weekly tally of what I spent of food, any times I said no and what it was for, and if I mess up..I will say so. I think I will finish the dishes and take a nap with the dogs.<br />
Yeah.<br />
Take<br />
A<br />
Nap<br />
!<br />
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<br />Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-49377918898524016192017-05-15T17:55:00.002-04:002017-05-15T17:55:57.850-04:00Life can be a bowl of cherries<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>*2??* <---ignoring for now</b><br />
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Hey there. How are you doing? I have been up to so much stuff lately that I completely forgot about last week. I am not going to look back at what I posted the last time. I am just gonna move on with my life and if I forgot to share something, you can always leave a comment..or not.<br /><br /> Today was a good day. I had my 2nd appointment with Bureau of Rehabilitation Services. I was accepted to be in the program. They are going to help me find meaningful work. Real work. Like career shit. I will get help with a resume, interview coaching, looking for work in what I want and what I am able to do, coaching on the job, and all kinds of stuff. This is a major big deal for me. They are going to help advertise me to places so that I have a better chance of getting a good job. I have to do some assessment tests this week that I bring in next week and then do some more. This will not be super fast but it will move along at a good pace and they will stick with me until I am ready to fly. Very happy.<br />
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If it rains one more day, I will officially become a mushroom farmer. We have had more rain than sun the past couple weeks. And it has been so cold here. Like I had to throw another quilt on the bed and close all the windows. Hopefully they are correct that it will be in the 70s mid week. My lettuce is not growing very fast because of the lack of sunshine. It has to warm up before I plant the peppers and tomatoes too. They will have issues if I buy them now. I do have all my annuals out now. They will have to sink or swim because I love to have those punches of color. There are impatients in the hanging cones and a mixer of different annuals in the hangers in the yard. We had a bit of wind on MD and one of my new Pinwheels died. I brought them all in. Once they have dried out, I will woodglue them all so they are sturdy. That is what I had to do with the last batch I bought a couple years ago.<br />
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Health wise, I am doing ok. The lump left over from the breast biopsy is still there. It doesnt hurt like it did but it unnerves me that it is still there. I figured it would have shrunk by now. I will tell the Dr if it is still there in June. I had to go back to the dentist this past week for a cracked filling. Thankfully it was one that had been filled recently so there was no charge for that. So instead I had them make molds for me to get dental guards for my grinding at night. The one that you get at the pharmacy is okay but it is not as good as the real deal ones that you have made for your mouth. I want to save my teeth from the damage that I am causing and this is one of the culprits.<br /><br /> The other culprit has been my eating. Look. I have been talking so much as to how I have to get back to eating right because I gained 10 (really 13) lbs. This morning, I had a lightbulb moment. I started this way of eating because of what happened in the Doctors office last year on a particular day. He upped my night time and day time insulin. He told me that I was at a medical cross roads. I will gain weight with the increase of my insulin. Then he will have to increase it again because I gained weight. I do not want to die before I am 50 because I chose Lay`s potato chips over life. But I have some adjustments that I had to make to this for my own well being. It will not be high fat. It will be moderate fat. Low carb, moderate fat, moderate protein. I will not do cheat days but if once in awhile, something comes up that I want to eat, I will. Like tonight I will have strawberries with whipped cream. With keto there would have been no strawberries allowed. So I am not doing keto. I am just doing low carb with the option to buy. Low insulin numbers! That is what we are striving for. No more ruining our good name in our diabetic meter because we wanted a candy bar! We can eat a Quest bar instead!<br /><br /> What else? I had a really good Mother`s Day. Kid #1 acknowledged me. Kid #2 cleaned the house and helped Hubs cook dinner. I got Lush products and flowers. I did do some stuff but that is how I am but afterward I laid around and watched Simon and Martina on Youtube. They are funnier than all get out. But I warn you. Once you get sucked in, do not blame me for the wasted hours of funny food porn. Can you believe it though?? After all of those years of sucky MDs..I finally got a good one? Makes me extra happy about that.<br /><br />Okay..I am going to go. I have to go pick up #2 at work and dinner will be done soon. I hope you have a wonderful week ahead with lots of sunshine and no ants!<br />
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<br />Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-8419767657693996852017-05-01T18:14:00.000-04:002017-05-01T18:14:54.992-04:00Mercury in Retrograde Bitches<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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*230* <---Fuck You!<br />
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May 1st! Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit to you all. Today marks the exact day last year that Hubs and I went full throttle with the new way of eating. I have been pecking at it the past couple weeks but today is full on. 25 grams or less of carbs a day. Post everything on <a href="http://www.myfitnesspal.com/">MyFitnessPal </a>to keep an eye on my numbers. I will struggle but I am dealing with Retrograde so it is what it is.<br />
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Okay, I left because I had a shit ton of errands to do today. I started this at lunch time and now it is almost 6pm. Workman`s comp stuff, copying stuff, going to my lawyer`s office for stuff, getting a cold brew because I deserve it and supplies for the sick #2. She seems to have caught a Springtime head cold. Which sucks because she has an ultrasound to do on Wednesday. She isn't coughing so maybe she will be able to do it. She is also having 3 wisdom teeth taken out on Friday. Oy! I have been busy with preparations.<br />
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Retrograde has made me such a mess this time around. At least the tail end of it has. I have been not a very nice person and very emotional. Super duper not nice. Today has been better. It ends in 3 more days so it must be taking it`s clutches off of me. Mean. Weepy. Suspicious. Eating anything and everything. I blame that part also on the stupid steroids. I took the steroid for my colitis for a week. I ate an entire family sized bag of Lay`s and the next day a half a bag of Doritos. Those pills had to go. I am staying away from dairy except for the little bits of butter that I can tolerate. And I am staying away from all grains that have gluten. Those things (among others) gives me great issues. Like I may shit myself in public issues. I do not want that. Plus, I gained weight. I am not here on this Earth to go backward. I refuse! Only forward. And forward is smaller underwear sizes.<br /><br /> Today I planted some impatients in the cone baskets on the porch. I was ready to dig in the dirt! I also have enough cactus dirt to repot all my special in house babies. I have to just get a time to do it. Some of them really need to be put in bigger pots with fresh digs. It has still been too cold to really get into gardening. Like really cold. Like not May at all. But I will enjoy it because it will get hot eventually and I will hate every moment of it. Especially now that I am dealing with old lady days.<br />
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I am sorry that this is just not a good post. I am exhausted from all the running around and I still have to get dinner going. We are having chicken enchilada soup. I have to start some rice in the cooker for the girls. The man and I will eat it without any carbs in it. Again, I left you to fold some laundry and water my jade and aloe plants. This Monday was not a good one for posting but I havent posted in a bit so I am throwing this bone out there.<br /><br />
I am here. I am eating low carb high fat. I am going to stick with it because today is the anniversary day of last year and it has symbolism to me. I wont wreck that. I intend to lose the 10ish lbs I have gained and try to lose another 40 over the next few months. That would be a nifty thing to happen. I am going to make it so.<br /><br />Have a great week and I will be back around next Sunday.Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-544791998438248724.post-43892959803924564242017-04-12T17:31:00.000-04:002017-04-12T17:31:37.251-04:00The Tax Man Cometh<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>*22?* I really have no idea</b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">No Boob Cancer!</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;"> </span>I was so preoccupied with life that I plum forgot to post what I found out. I am forever sorry for that. I have a lesion. No cancer. Basically aging boobs. I had a friend PM me on Facebook to talk to me about it. She has had extensive reconstructive surgery from cancer surgeries on the breasts. I have a HUGE hematoma but I was told it will go away on it`s own. Not to worry about it and I will not. All is good. Phew!<br />
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Monday I went to the Bureau of Rehabilitation. It has been a few months of waiting for this appointment. They are going to help me get back to work or try to get back to work. They can actually hunt down jobs for me. I decided that I want to try part time first and gradually see if I can add hours if a particular job allows. I want to work in an office with the ability to move around from seated to standing positions. I will be able to get job training, resume help, interview skills, and head hunters looking for jobs for me. I am actually a bit excited about it. It has been a long time since I worked but I think I am ready to try.<br />
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Today I will do our taxes. I hate it. It is not super hard. I had no issues last year. It is just we do not get a refund so there is no fun in it. Do the taxes. Pay the bill. It is done. So I always wait to the last minute. This is where I wholeheartedly say I procrastinate. Since Kid #2 is working, this will be the last tax season we can claim her. At least I think it is. I know there is an income cut off where I cannot claim her anymore. I figured I would do it this time and then next year let her be her own adult person.<br />
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I had to leave and run errands and take the Kid #2 to the dentist. It is like 5 hours later so I am here to finish this up. I learned something on my travels. I found out that I cannot ever take statins for my cholesterol issues. My issues are genetic, not food based. I have allergic reactions to two statins so that basically means I cannot take any of them anymore. My Endo is putting me on Zetia but that is a supplement to add to statins It is not going to help me. So I asked the pharmacist what to do. He said becoming plant based. You eat vegan and your cholesterol numbers fall right into line. How sad does that sound for me? Plant based (no meat, fish, eggs, or dairy), no grains or wheat, no rice, and no higher carbohydrate foods. I am smart. I know I could eat fake meats to supplement my meals. Most are soy based which is not the greatest. I could eat beans which are higher carb but I have to eat something. I am going to give it time. I bought some Morning Star fake meat crumbles. Tonight is taco salad night. I am going to use that as my meat. I am not going to use cheese or sour cream either. Stripped down taco salad with fake meat and no corn chips. Yup. Is it gonna come down to me eating flavored cardboard for meals? Seriously!<br />
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I was supposed to do our taxes today. That aint gonna happen. I got home at 5pm and dinner has to get started. I will do it tomorrow. I promise. I swear! I have a bath bomb that is calling my name too. I want to soak my sore muscles and shit.<br /><br />Okay...let me get off this thing. Let me cook my plant based meat and see how it tastes. You all have a wonderful Passover and Easter. If I do not post on Sunday, I will see you on Monday. Have a good night!Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10723233261109297287noreply@blogger.com0