Praise! It is 30 deg F!

*230-something* <---i have not stepped on a scale in a week or two so I really do not know. 


      We survived the Bombogenesis. Our little neck of CT received a generously heaping spoonful of snow. It was about a foot with nice snow drifts. The temps have been rock bottom too. Not been fun for my skin, I can tell you right now. I have been coconut oiling myself every day to combat the psoriasis and the old lady crepe from the heat being on constantly. Today is going to be in the 30s and by the middle of the week it will be close to 50. Be gone you evil snow.

   Today I have stuffs to do but I feel a little shitty so I will be going slowly while doing them. I think my head is a little fucked because of the barometer and we are supposed to get a little snow this evening. So if I can get out of my pjs, that will be a major accomplishment. One of the things we have to do today is our DNA. Hubs and I have two 23andme DNA kits aka the government has got your ass now kits. You have to not drink or eat anything for 30 minutes and then you spit in the tube and send them off. We get to see where we came from. I have always known that I am Polish, Italian, Swedish, and Norwegian. Now could my Polish grandmother have had some Jewish ancestry that we do not know about? I guess I will find that out in a few weeks. The girls at first were a little miffed because they did not get kits. Why should you both get kits when you have the same DNA? We, as your parents, can do it and you will get the same answer. *eye roll* I will share those results when they come in.

  My lofty plans of walking have been curtailed by the weather. My plan is to get out there tomorrow morning if it is not icy from the storm and I feel okay in the head. I have been fairly active the past few months so it isnt that I have to start slow or anything. I just did not want to freeze my tookas off. See, I could go to the Mall to walk but then I end up shopping instead. I could get a gym membership but you all remember how I paid for two years and never went once. Walking the hills of my neighborhood is the safer bet for me. My house is way too small for any exercise equipment. We tried when we bought a cheapo elliptical at Salvation Army. It worked great and it was a folding one. That shit sat in the corner. Got unfolded a couple times. Sat next to the tv set, mocking me because I never used it or even dusted it.  I have a couple walking routes that I have used in the past. I just have to get dressed and do it.

  Yo. The pressure cooker is the best thing ever. Myself and #2 have made about 6-7 meals in it so far since Christmas. I went out to Target and bought a rack to put it on. It has it`s own area by the kitchen window with it`s own plug. No need to move it off and on the counters. We have very limited counter space. We have a galley kitchen. Only room for 1-2 butts at a time. Anyway...the pressure cooker is really good. I made fork tender pulled pork in 1 hour and 30 minutes. What! And it tasted like it was cooking for hours. We cooked chili, a few soups, pulled pork, a chicken dish, hamburger dish, and all were good. You can find many recipes online for using the electric pressure cooker. I still say, if you do not have one..beg borrow or plead to get one.

   I had a revelation last week after posting here. I am not doing AIP and Keto. When I try to eat that way, I do not eat at all. I practically starving and I am not being literal. It is so hard to keep your blood sugars low but also stick to the strict Auto immune way of eating. You just cannot do it. Unless you have unlimited grocery resources and/or you have someone to cook for you. I just couldnt do it.  I have decided and started to eat keto but I am not going to eat certain foods like nuts and peanuts. I will eliminate all nightshades except tomatoes because they are life. And I am going to eat limited dairy. Sometimes I need it in a pinch if I am hungry but I will not seek it out and especially in large amounts. Back on track. Keto for me is the smart solution to alot of my medical problems.

  I had a birthday. Saturday I turned 49 years old. It was a good day. Of course it was not keto complaint but that was my last food thing until October comes around again. Hoping I am thin as a reed and have a stronger constitution by the time it is Halloween. We have a couple more birthdays coming up but I can say no to cake. I had my slice...okay two slices. It was Red Velvet and I was not gonna say no. Someone that is way young was shocked when he saw my FB post about turning 49. He said WTF! I thought you were 32!
He either does not know how to determine someones age or he needs a new eyeglass prescription. But I will take the compliment as the best present ever.

  Okay. I need to get going. I have to be a taxi today and I have to get out of this feeling like crap mode. I hope you have a wonderful week and I will see you on the next.

A new year to conquer

*237* <----I gained but I got it back down to this

  I have a feeling you have all disappeared because of my blogging hiatus. I really wasnt planning on coming back at all. Life got away from me and this was not something I had time for. I mean, theoretically, if I did want to do it, I would find time to. But I just did not. If you had been waiting for me to come back, I am sorry.

    You still know I am alive because my IG is attached and you can see my postings. You can also see that Keiko is a BIG girl. She is my sweet little muffin baby. She is not nice to everyone else but me. And that is how it should be. We lost Perla last month (the chihuahua). Vet thinks it was an bad intestinal infection. It came on quickly and took her without her having to go through any trauma going to the vet. Ruby is the lone dog now. We have put her on a diet and she is liking her single status. But we make sure not to say Perla`s name. She looks around for her if we do.

  About 2 months ago, I started a new way of eating challenge. Because of my diagnosis of Psoriatic Arthritis, I wanted to try not to take any strong medications for it. I was given the idea that I should eat AIP (autoimmune protocol) and Keto (because of my blood sugars). These two styles of eating for health come together as a very harsh harsh way of eating. HARSH! I had fallen off the keto wagon and gained about 20lbs. It was all stress related to health stuff. It was time and with a good talking to, I embarked into the AIP/KETO. I did not fully immerse myself into fat, and I was hungry all the time. I decided to give myself the Christmas holidays to indulge (but not over indulge) and pick back up on it for January. And here I am. AIP?KETO consists of avoiding grains, gluten, nightshades, nuts, seeds, bad for you oils, all fruits but berries occasionally, dairy, eggs, rice, high carb veggies, coffee, and sugar. I have been drinking tea in place of coffee and it has been okay. I have a nice strong English Breakfast that gives me the caffeine I need to get through life. 

  I do not want to get into my health woes anymore. If it is something serious, I will mention it but otherwise, I am gonna keep it to myself. That is probably why I have no followers because it reads like a pity party. It isn't but some may perceive it that way. I do want to mention a couple things. I had a architectural distortion removed from my breast, it was not cancer. I did BRCA 1 and 2 genetic testing and it came back negative. I could still be positive though. It is weird how that stuff is but the girls are safe. I was supposed to start taking a cancer drug this month but I decided against it. The side effects were too much for me to want to have to deal with. I will be having a MRI and Mammo on my breasts every six months to make sure there is no more growths. My gut is good and bad. Because of my change in eating, I have healed alot of my ulcerations and I am in good status with my colitis. I did find out from the new gastro that I am celiac. It explains alot.

  Right now, at this point in my life, I am doing okay. My birthday is on Satuday. The big 49. The last of the 40s. I will miss them when they are gone. As for the new year, no resolutions but just realizations. I have to stay with AIP until all my symptoms are gone. Then I slowly re-introduce foods on the no list. Some I will be able to add back, some I will never be able to eat again. Wheat and all gluten of course. I will stick with that modified AIP and Keto for as long as I am allowed to. I want to really start walking. It is way too bitterly cold here in the Northeast but when it gets back up to the 30s, I am out there. I have the sneakers. I have the socks. I have the clothes to get the job done. It will be better for my arthritis anyway if I stop being so stagnant and move my ligaments and joints. So walking and eating for health are #1 and #2 on my life realizations.

    Clutter has gotta go. I have been saying this for years but now I mean it. I want to get rid of anything that is just not worthy of this tiny space we have in this house. I have been tossing stuff that is garbage, donating , and selling since the Fall. Now I need to step up my game. I have books to donate, treasures to sell, and clothes to purge. If I have never used it, it has to go. I tend to hold onto some things because of nostalgia or it is old and I must own it. But I think I am done with all that. I want to make run for other things. Crap that is collecting dust and has no purpose for us can leave this house and give someone else a purpose.  DeCluttering in 2018 is #3.

  Money. Money has really been difficult this past year. I have been working with a state agency to get help with getting a job. I really want to try to do it. I am at the stage now where I am very close. I had two really good job interviews. I did not get the jobs but it is good practice. Now that the holidays are over, we are flooding my resumes out there in the ethers and hoping someone wants to give this old smart girl a chance.  I have always said, I need to budget. I need to save money. Blah blah blah. And then I do not do it. Once I wanted to try a no spend year. Nope. Then I tried No Spend Months. Nope, could even do that. I have a new attitude about it now. I aint spending any money. I have bills that need to be paid and paid off. I want to not stress about tax time. I want to have a nice job with some little part time job on the side. Make a good amount of money, be out in the world with people, and just enjoy that part of life that I have missed for the past 16 years. Have a healthy relationship with Money is #4.

  That is it. I have four goals for my life right there. I hope to at least accomplish them all. LMAO. I am realistic. But I have been thinking about this stuff since way before the holidays. I may fail at them all but I am going to try and we shall see how it goes.

If anyone is still out there, I am going to try to blog once every Monday. I will put it in my calendar to remind my forgetful ass.  I guess I could say Blogging my shit would be #5 on that list of life affirming junk.

Toodles. :)



 


   

Forty Eight Years

*220-something*

   It is 1pm and I am still in my jammies. The impending temperature change from 50 today to the 30s tomorrow is giving me body issues which in turn makes me moody. I will be okay. I just have to roll with it. We are forecasted for some snow possibly on Friday, my birthday. And possibly more Saturday evening into Sunday. We shall see. It almost always snows on my birthday so I have just learned to live with it. I have a recipe for my cake. It is a chocolate brownie cheesecake that is LCHF. I bought all the ingredients for it. Cheesecakes are easy to make for this way of eating. I am not in the mood for dealing with different leavening shit.
*********************************************************************************
Ok. I let the dogs out and I went upstairs to change my clothes. It is progress. It would have been way better if I took a shower, washed my hair, washed my face (toner and moisturize) and brushed my teeth but a depressed girl could only do so much. I am body depressed basically if that means anything. The barometric pressure changes, my wacked out hormones, and at the tail end of a nasty head cold has wiped me out physically. Part of me knows I should just lay on the couch and watch streamed tv shows but the other part of me sees that the kitchen needs cleaning. It is a sick bitch balance.

   Let me share this recipe here before I forget. It is Egg Roll in a Bowl.  I made this the other night and everyone LOVED it. I used shredded rotisserie chicken instead of pork. I also added some shredded purple cabbage, a teaspoon of sesame oil, and sriracha to taste. So good and low low carb. I am having some leftovers for lunch now. If you have ever eaten crack slaw, it is like that. I love crack slaw too. Mmmm! Give it a try even if you dont eat the way I do.

  Speaking of eating the way I do, I am a fucking keto loser. I keep eating crap. I ate bread the other day. I dont eat bread! I am all bloated and that is also making me feel shitty. I have to declare it here for posterity. I will deal with the keto flu! I will start eating correct for my health starting right now at 130pm. I will stop eating carbage that is not good for my diabetes! It is so easy to slowly slip back into my food addictions. I knew that the holidays would ruin how well I was doing. A little bite here. A lots of bites there. I have maintained my weight loss but I am back to being bloated from the grains. I am totally not gonna make excuses or concessions. It will take a good week of strict eating to stomp the cravings down. I have to do this so that I can live a long life. ROAR!!

*i am back on track cause i gotta be*

 I bought myself a birthday pressie this week. I had a $25 discount on Amazon (one of my freebies. So I bought a Echo Dot and a speaker to listen to music from it. I love Alexa! I know people do not like the idea of having a microphone in their house. I love it. It plays my music. It tells me the weather. I am a happy birthday girl. I am also getting something else for my birthday. Kid #2 bought me a new lappy! It is coming in the mail tomorrow. This will be my last post with this disgusting Dell with the missing letter n.

    We are supposed to go out to lunch and dinner for my birthday on Friday also but we shall see how the weather holds up. Hubby wants to take me to David Burke`s Prime for lunch. That is some snazzy eating. I will have to be strong though. There will be no frites with my steak!

  This leftover eggroll in a bowl is actually lifting my mood a little bit. It isnt helping with my pain but you cannot have everything. If you make it, let me know if you liked it. I used a whole chicken shredded, a whole bag of coleslaw, and half a bag of shredded red cabbage. I doubled all the other ingredients.

That is all for today. I have some stuff to share the  next time I post. I have started the ball rolling for something.

Happy 46!

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to Me!

  It is fucking COLD! COLD! COLD! Right now it is like 15 deg F but feels way colder outside. I woke up at 530am to check and turn off the kerosene heater. It will stay dormant for a hour or so. Then he will fill it up and it will be nice and warm again. The full tank lasts about 8-9 hours. Today it will filled three times. This morning. This afternoon. And topped off again before bedtime. Tonight`s temps will be like 1 deg f so it is necessary. Thankfully, today will be the last day! YAY!
The plumber is coming tomorrow morning! WooHoo!  The new furnace is being put in! WooHoo! I will get a bubble bath tomorrow night! WOOT!
Yeah, that is way too much excitement. But you all would be excited too if you went a solid month with no primary heat source or hot water. This is monumental!

   Of course, shit comes in threes. The dog, The furnace, and now the Jeepo. We are pretty sure it needs brakes and probably rotors. This Jeep gives no squeak warnings whatsoever that you need to replace. You get a noise and three days later the noise instantly becomes loud, scary, and embarrassing. So yeah..another expense. It is okay. We will roll with it.

  The spending fast went off to a bumpy start. I did spend on three things off the list. 1. I was sick as a dog, so we had pizza one day. 2. We ran out of cream, I had a appointment so I spent $1.06 on a coffee. 3. I bought #2 a winter coat. She needed one, it was on clearance and I am okay with that expenditure.
 Otherwise, I have been following my rules. I have been saying no to myself alot.  Instead of dinner out for my birthday, we will have dinner in and play a board game. Hubby is buying my cake with his money. We really needed new pillows for the couch cause the dog is a asshole. I got 8 pillows for free. Really nice big ones. FREE! They could have cost me $20 a piece. FREE! See, I am learning.
Being sick as a dog trumped saving.

 I have to renew my driver`s license. Yuck. I should take a picture of my current one for comparison. I always smile too much. Makes me look like a damn chipmunk. If I smile too little, it will look like a prison photo. Oh well.

Time for my 2nd cup and hunt down my sweater. Have a great day!

Lazy ass blogger

*251* <---I am told being buff adds weight. LOL

  I am here! I am here! Lazy blogger, I admit it. Life and the damn N have gotten in my way. Forgive me.

   I am going to the gym today so that will make it three days in a row. My ass is sooo tired but I need to do this. I am discouraged that the scale has not moved much but I am not dumb. I know that it is because I have bee working on my core muscles and muscles add weight. So eventually, I will see a drop in the numbers. I am not gonna let it stop me.
 Revelation the other day. We had baked pesto pork chops for dinner and I had spinach and salad with it. Really good. I was not even halfway done with the meal and my liver started to protest. At first I said that I am going to become a vegetarian and this is a strong possiblity. But I am doing baby steps. I have given up pork and beef. They both hurt me so they had to go. I will stick with chicken and fish for now and see how that goes. I am having a pain issue someplace else in my gut and I have a bumped up appointment with the gastro on MLK jr birthday. It is at the point that all fat is hurting my liver and maybe he needs to go in there and look around. I do not want that but if this keeps up, I will be eating strictly rabbit food. But you know me, I gotta keep on keeping on. I think tummy issues will be my Lot in life.
 No more bacon. That is gonna be rough.

  I would highly recommend getting a Ninja blender if you can afford it and want to add juicing to your diet. All of us LOVE IT! And it is super easy to clean. I hate cleaning standard blenders so when I realized that the blender part comes right out, easy peasy to clean..I was completely sold on it. I also wanted to share a guilt free treat. You take 4 frozen bananas and put them in the food processor. Whiz until smooth. You could add a bit of peanut butter, Nutella or nothing at all. Instant ice cream! Hubs did not realize it was NOT ice cream until I told him.  Give it a try. It will give me something sweet to eat that is non dairy. Cause all dairy seems to hurt this bitch for some reason.
**I am trying to hurry up and get everything in cause I have to leave for the gym soon.**

 My birthday was good. I am still not liking 45 but I just put this coat on. It will take me a bit of time to get used to it. The cake was marble and yes I had some. Two pieces over the course of two days in fact. I was able to transition right back to eating healthy. Hubs and I were married 21 years this month and his birthday is at the end of this month. We are going to go out to dinner and celebrate all three the last weekend of the month. Eating out will be a challenge but I wont let that sway me.

 As for the new me not giving in...it is working. I am saying no more. Getting stank looks in return but this is a change for all of us. Right now it majorly sucks because we have the new yearly medical insurance deductible so we have to pay for everything!!! So it is easier to say no. I just do not have it to give.
 I really gotta go now. I PROMISE to post again today cause I have a recipe to share. It was sooo good!

Coffee hurts so good

First off, I would like to say that I am 44 years old today. Happy Birthday to Me!

Secondly, I would like to confirm the title that yes, coffee does hurt my gut. I do not know if it is the coffee, the cream, or the combination. But my stomach felt good this morning when I woke up. I have not even finished my first cup and it is hurting in the front and in my back. Gallbladder for one!

  Last night Fred and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our 20th wedding anniversary which is on the 9th.  I decided I wanted to go early to dinner because I did not know how I was going to feel later on. Dinner did hurt me. I did not eat my entire meal but a good portion of it. I had a couple sips of Fred`s cocktail and I did have sour cream on my potato. Steak was probably not the best thing for  me but I only ate half so I did less damage. LOL
    The casino was fun too. We did not win big but we had some fun winning and we walked away with each of us having some fun money for later on. We stopped at the Asian bakery, Fay Da Bakery to pick up some goodies. I wanted to try a pork bun. Fred and I are going to share it at lunch today. Even though our night ended at 830pm (when we got home), We did have a good time. I realized something about this gallbladder business. Doing things like being up and walking around, does effect how you feel in your gut and it wraps around to your back. Last night I was really thirsty, it was warm in the place, and they have Dunkin Donuts in the casino. Fred and I both got a medium iced coffee. It tasted really good. Fred finished his. I barely got to the halfway point on mine. That is not normal for me not to drink it down.
    That right there told me that I have to watch what I eat and drink for the next week or so until I get this straightened out. I have some people tell me that once I have the surgery, I will be able to eat whatever I want. I have a couple others that I think are being a bit more honest with me. They say that losing your gallbladder changes you. You have to watch what you eat in terms off all the stuff that made you sick when your gallbladder was sick. Fats, creams, cheeses, beef, pork, coffee, caffeine, etc. A very good friend had hers out when she was in her 20s. She has to be careful to this day (20 years later) of what she eats. And she told me the first year is the worst because everything runs thru you. And they do not tell you that you can gain weight. Like I need to gain more fucking weight. I think the reason some people gain weight is because before surgery, they were suffering from malabsorption. They were eating whatever and they either lost or didn't gain. After the surgery, they continued but because their shit was fixed, the calories stuck around instead of ending up in the sewer.
 I sit here and eat a handful of grapes and hope they do not hurt me. Fred and I are doing a joint effort today. I am going to cut up two whole chickens (chicken wings are extinct, I tell ya!) and he will bake the pieces in his special rub. I am going to bake a butter pecan cake with chocolate frosting, three layers. And we are going to have a relaxing Sunday. My two darlings are still sleeping. I guess I will not be getting any birthday love or slavery from them today. Hmmm

Birthday celebrating and lots of veggies

  Today is my Father`s birthday. Happy Birthday Dad! If he were alive today, he would be 90. That means he has been gone 30 years. Wow.  My birthday is tomorrow. When I was a kid, there were always two birthday cakes and two dinner celebrations. Nobody got shortchanged because it was considered too much work or too much cake! Never ever too much cake. It has been a long time but there are days when I still miss him or I will dream about him. One day I will see him again.

  Today we are going out to celebrate my birthday and our 20th anniversary. Our plans before my gut troubles were to go to a nice steak place and then to Foxwoods. We have not changed those plans. I will eat and be merry. I will avoid any alcohol. I will not eat a large amount of food. If at any time my gut starts to hurt a little more, we will go straight home and to the ER. I am still in the dull pain stage of whatever is going on with me. I have been eating low carb since yesterday and as little fat as I can try to muster. It is really hard to find stuff to eat when you are so limited. I can only drink one cup of coffee because the fat from the cream bothers me. For breakfast/lunch,  I had two hard boiled eggs, a handful of grape tomatoes, and a few grapes. Yummy Yummy...I am soooo full! (side eye).
 I kid but if this will keep the immense pain away that I have heard about, then I am going to do it. I can tell the pain is more and different now. I wish my surgical appointment was sooner rather than on Thursday.
  I am going to get dressed, take one kid out to buy brassieres, and then Hubs and I are going out to have fun. Wish me luck! And hopefully my steak dinner wont kill me. :)

Countdown to my birthday

I like the brown one for $1.39

*261*
  I am done being a bitter depressed bitch. I spent the day in my room yesterday. Everyone was in a not so great mood. This was the worst Christmas ever in our family. EVER! I want to take the tree down today. That is how bad it was. It is going to get real time winter cold soon in the next few days and we may get some snow on Saturday. Not looking forward to that. But that is okay. I have 2 whole weeks to think about my birthday. hehehe
  On my actual birthday we are staying home but one weekend in January, Fred and I will go out to dinner. Nice big steak dinner. We already have the financing for the dinner set aside. All I need to save for now is some casino money and we are golden. I am glad this year is almost over. It has been so awful. The deaths, the lack of money, the struggles...I am hoping and praying that next year will be more uplifting for us in this household.  For once I want to be the family member that brags ALL over Facebook about every single thing that was bought for the family yesterday. Actually, I do not do that even when we had alot of gifts. It is not fair for those that could not do the same and then they have to look at that. I guess this person has no radar on that concept of life. At least I have love from my husband and happiness. But you cannot wrap those and stuff them under the tree.

  I know there is the never ending saga of my health. The past couple days I have pain in my right flank area. It is not a crick in my side or like a pulled muscle. Feels internal. It hurts when I cough or sneeze and as the day wears on, it hurts when I breath. Fred told me that if it hurt TODAY I had to call the Dr. I think I want to wait a little longer. Probably nothing.
 I say this because I want to clean the house intensely. Ever since the infection has cleared out of my system, I want to undo all the dirtiness that I could not do when I was ill. But when your side hurts, it is kind of hard. I need to go to the grocery store to get some supplies for dinner. I want to do old fashioned french bread pizza for dinner. With cheese and pepperoni and onions. When the Stoffer`s french bread pizzas came out in the 80s, we used to make them homemade at home. I am in the mood. I know Natalie, Raymond, and Chelsea will say gross. I could make pasta too, I guess.

 We shall see. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas day and did not get sick from all the over eating.


  

Birthday Cake Hangover

Audrey makes me smile

*267*

  I had a great day yesterday. It started off with me having a shitty day on Thursday. There was a fight with a group of friends, Lu had fallen down the stairs, and I got not so great news from the Dr. The good news is that I do not have any cancers that he could see. Everything looked good. No ulcers either. He said that I have a bit of irritation in my esophagus but it is normal range. So what the hell is wrong with me? He thinks I have a Stomach emptying disorder. One is called Gastroparesis and it can come from Diabetes. It kinda fits a bit. I am not happy about it at all. I am freaked out actually. He wants me to have an ultrasound, which is scheduled for this coming Tuesday really early in the morning. And they are mailing out bloodwork stuff for me to do. Then I will have to have an Upper GI series. I really do not know what that entails, but I will find out.
So as you can imagine, I was crying my eyes out by the time evening rushed around and the friend fight was going on. Oh, PLUS! Fuck! Natalie and I went to get my nose ring put back in. She lied to me. She told me it hardly hurts. Niki had to put a taper in to WIDEN to opening up to get the new earring in. FUCK! It felt just as bad as the first time.
 So yesterday was a really good day. We woke up and realized the Lu was fine. She did not break any bones and I think she was just screaming cause A. she bruised herself and B. she is a little drama queen. She went to the vet to get groomed and she looks wonderful with her dark purple tail feather. Then I went and got my hair did. Couple inches off the back, tapered in the front and bangs shaped up. I got a wash, dry and style and I was off and running. I got hit on by some young dude in the Dunkin Donuts drive thru. My ass did not realize it until I was driving away. I would have given his ass a bigger tip! LOL
 Fred and I went out to dinner, went and lost money at Foxwoods, and had birthday cake with the kids. It was a nice day all around.
Now I have a mountain of dishes in the kitchen. MOUNTAIN! There is all sorts of picking up to do and I did NOT grocery shop yesterday. So that is on tap in a bit. After I finish up here, I am going to slap on my....oh yeah!

Until January 11 at Lane Bryant, it is their Semi Annual Bra sale. Buy 2 get 2 free. Chelsea and I went and bought some. Even for Natalie too. So new bras for my birthday too? Cant get better then that!

That is all. Thank you all for your wonderful birthday wishes. I have never gotten that many Happy Birthdays EVER. Over 100. I felt like a real Queen yesterday. And I felt loved by all.
Okay..now my ass needs to get dressed and face the hoardes at Shoprite`s Can Can sale.

My Birthday is tomorrow!

*267*

  I figured I would post today because tomorrow is going to be busy and I will not have the time. Tomorrow I turn 43 years old. ahhhh..bullshit. Oh, it is okay. This change in age does not bother me one bit. When i turned 30, I was a mess. When I turned 40, I was a bit upset but not as bad as when I turned 30. I have a fear of getting older.

Having a birthday exactly 2 weeks to the day after Christmas kind of sucks. My birthday is the 12th day of Christmas, Epiphany, Little Christmas, or Three Kings Day. This is when people usuallly take their Christmas trees down and some cultures celebrate the day the three kings brought their gifts to the Baby Jesus. I get cake! Big bakery style birthday cake. With flowers! Love it!

We do not do a ton for our birthdays anymore cause we are older and know that presents really do not matter as much as being together. I have some errands since it is Friday and Lu has a groomer appointment. We are going out for steak dinner (just Fred and I), and off to Foxwoods for a smidge of gambling and people watching. Gotta love it!

So I am here to say Happy 43rd Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday to ME! *the video has swears so do not click if you do not want to hear it*

*286*

It`s my birthday! I get cake today! WooHoo!

Okay, listen to this shit. Either she reads this blog (doubtful) or I do not know what! The sister sent me a message on Facebook this morning at 5am.
*Happy bday....i will not start off a new year not speakin to any of my family...im stubborn...im a capricorn..u know how we are...if did anything to offend u I apologize.this year is special for me and I want all my family to be apart of it..i graduate in may..and I want to celebrate that with my family.i love u ..fred chel..and of coarse my baby nat.*

How am I to take that? Is it a true heartfelt apology? Or something else. You see how she says...this year is special for ME.  Now if it wasn't special for her, would I still be on her shit list???
Something that makes you go hmmmm?
If I did anything to offend you...WTF? You called me out. I am a bitch. You could care less if you ever see me again. I am the reason you do not see your brother..etc etc etc.

Am I just being a total bitch here? I need to send her a message back unfortunately. I have no idea what to say. None what so ever.
Because she has a graduation coming up, dontcha know? And I have to be there for it. 
Whatever...

Today is cake, rib dinner, and that is about it. We went out on Sunday because the weather forecast was saying SNOW. But it is sunny out so that is not going to happen. It is cold as a witches tit though. I can tell you that.
If you have any idea what I should say to her..i could use the help. I have to be nice *cheese*