Good Brain Days are the Best

*The Bird*

*243* <----cant make her move!



  It is a humid morning so I fear today will not be a good day after all. We have rain and a tropical system for this weekend also. I know already that my brain is not happy. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. I have my spinal tap this Friday morning. Hopefully I will get some answers about my IIH. I have finally just come to terms with it. I have it. It is a rare disease (1 in 100k) and there is  no cure. I have to roll with life and try to find sunshiney spots. I don't know what the cold air will do to me but it wont be humid. Less water in the air means less in my head. I have been so stubborn with fighting this diagnosis. Enough of that. I have the end of the month money coming in and I can buy lots of low sodium foods. I have to do this. *YES!*

  The picture up top is from the book Miss Peregrine`s Peculiar Children. I read the whole thing. I have not done that in over a year.  That is a big deal to me. I have the 2nd book in the series that I started yesterday, Hollow City. I will pick up the 3rd book soon. I have used a Kindle but there is something about reading from a book. The smell. The paper. The bookmark. You cannot replace that. Tim Burton is right now doing a film on the first book. If you are looking for something different to read, give it a go.

  The less humid weather has my head feeling pretty good. Those I am deeming Good Brain Days. That will let those that love me know that I always feel like shit but my brain feels good today. I can accomplish so much. I cut down almost the whole front bed yesterday. It was all bagged up too. I want to get the front done soon because I have a huge inflatable spider to put out there for October. I bought it from a neighbor for $5. Kinda excited to have it. I hope it fits out there nicely.  I have finished out the community garden. There are a few cherry tomatoes, peppers, and Swiss chard growing.  I go back periodically to pick. Once it gets cold, I will clean out the beds. I was thinking of planting some garlic.  I still want my own beds at home though.

  Last winter, I won like $75 from American Eagle Outfitters. It was in the form of gift cards. I bought the Man a pair of jeans and I found a pair of size 18 Boyfriend jeans for me. Alas, they didn't fit me. At all. Couldn't get them over my ass. I packed them away. I tried them on this past Sunday. They fit! They zipped! And no camel toe! I needed a belt! Woot!
See..that makes me happy but the scale doesn't fucking move...why is that? I am losing inches but not pounds. I am a numbers gal. I like to see lower digits. Extremely happy they fit. Just want to be able to say I weigh 223 instead.
 I guess once I have all the foods I need to sustain me here, the weight will drop off. Crossing those fingers.

I have to say that I hate this laptop. Yes, I am still using that ancient Dell that has a broken letter n that I have to paste when I type. I wish a computer fairy would drop a lappy at my doorstep. *wishing really hard* I had to just gripe cause it took me extra long to type this out. One day I will have extra money..one day.

The dog needs a hygentist

*243*

    That up there is one of my kohlrabi at the community garden. I have never grown one or eaten one for that matter. It is like a radish crossed with a turnip. It is used in alot of Indian cooking. It can also be eaten raw. Here are the stats on this alien veg....Kohlrabi.

  The garden is actually doing really well. We have had some big rain storms the past couple weeks so it has helped with keeping the plants lively. I think we will have a bumper crop of tomatoes this year. I also have a shit ton of Leeks. I love leeks and I hope others do too cause there are going to be alot of them. 

 Perla is in peril. She is are almost 9 yr old chihuahua. She has heart issues and her teeth are in bad shape. She has a root infection in one of her big front top teeth. The vet knows we dont have a oil well out back so are going to be conservative. We cant afford a eckocardiogram. He says her heart sounds better then the last time. There are risks involved if we do the surgery...she might die. She will most definitely die if she doesnt get her teeth taken care of.  He says we have between 2-6 months to save up. It will be about $900 total for all her teeth to be cleaned, pull any that have to be pulled, and reinforce the rest. We can save that in 3 months if we are frugal-er. The antibiotic will kill off the bacteria but it will come back. That is the 2-6 month window.  She ate after the shot. She ate this morning and got her first dose of meds. So far no tummy upset. That is a good thing. She is my butt warmer.

Stress has to become my middle name or I should just tattoo it on my arm with the rest of them. There are so many urgent things that have to be done now. I just try to chip away at the most imperative...perla and ruby has to go back to have her teets looked at and possibly another round of cipro for her. I let other stuff go until I have the money, like the fridge with the door gasket that is shot or this laptop that is slowly limping to it`s death, minus the letter n. Plus you add in all the health bullshit, and I am just a joy. Most of the time I just keep it to myself. Why stress everybody out? I tend to catastrophize shit anyway. The bills will get paid. There will be food.

 As for my health, I am at bargaining.  The crap that is life. You wake up one morning and your life has changed forever. I had that happen with the fibro, diabetes, CFS but I learned to handle it. Go with the flow. Take it easy and life will have fewer bumps.
Then this whole skull/brain tide rolled in. Like a fucking tsunami.  I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 
Who would have thought it would have been steel toed?
 Most days I am fine. If I stick to the low sodium, take my meds, and drink plenty of water.  But these storms and rainy days are awful. I can barely function and the brain squeeze makes me mean. Very mean. I just feel so alone with this sometimes. I cant enjoy a simple walk in the woods because the simple fact of all the trees is too much stimulation for my skull defect/vestibular issues.

Think about that for a moment. A quiet walk in the woods makes me sick because of the sunshine filtering through the leaves. The closeness of all the trees and brush on the trails. Something you take for granted, makes me sick and ick. Once we leave the forest and enter the clearing to leave, the symptoms subside.
Same goes for crowded eateries, grocery stores (sometimes), big gatherings of people. I am supposed to go to a All School Alumni dance next month. I have a old girl friend as a date. I have got others going. It will be a big thing. I want to go. I bought tickets. I am scared shitless.

That is my life now.

Yeah...I am just a bunch of fun, huh?  Today is a okay day. I am gonna get some dinner stuff and make some cupcakes. Kid #2 will go with me to the store. 

Lemon cupcakes! Mmmm!
I will post recipe maybe if I think about it.