Attack of the virus

*230*

  I was germed by someone and that is the reason no post this past Sunday. I am just feeling kind of okay today. I do not know if it was the a watered down version of the flu or a nasty cold but it sucked. The weekend was a blur of dayquil, cough drops, and pee pads. I say I do not know because I didnt have a fever but I was feverish. I had aches in my legs but it only lasted for a day. I was sick as a dog but I did not feel like I was dying. That is why it could have been a watered down version because I did have the flu shot this year. Even though that has been deemed to only be about 20% effective. I have a nagging leftover cough and my bladder needs time to recover but otherwise, I am gonna be okay. The laundry will get done.

Paid Internship

  I am thisclose to having a paid internship with a very large company in my area. I am not going to say what or where at this point. It will be 3 months to start off and can go to a max of 6 months. I will be able to use it as experience and filler on my resume. I need the administrative work to help show that I know stuffs. Just give me a chance! If they like me and vice versa AND they have a job to fill, I could be hired at some point. The wheels are rolling with this so it could be very soon. I also have another job that is very exciting and that is being reviewed. I have not had an interview for it yet but I will be positive. I had contact with the HR department already for that one. I am not putting all my hopes on it but it would be good if this one were to happen also. So I have balls in the air. Who would have ever thought when I started this blog that I would be close to going back in the working world? I wouldnt have. I try not to obsessively look at my email. It is like I am WILLING them to email me back with a time to come in for an interview. Come to me. Come to me. You want me to work for you!

No Boobs for You

  Because of this wretched ick that has befallen me, I had to cancel my boob MRI and Mammo. Plus I had to move my appointment with the boob surgeon so that it is after my scans. That will all happen in March now. I am also going to be able to get my upper endoscopy after all. The gastro is having someone else in her practice do it on a Monday so that Hubs can take me. My gut has felt better since I stopped taking the Methotrexate pills. I saw the Rheumy this week and he has switched me to injections instead. I will give myself a shot once a week. He says that it bypasses the gut so I wont have to worry about that being an issue. It was working so well for me too. Now all my patches have come back and brought friends with them. The pains I was feeling before are back also. I hope the shots do not give me any issues because I really want this to work.

Gotta Make Money, Honey

 I really really really need to get on the selling train. I have been so lazy about it. I have boxes of shit to put on Etsy and I have not even moved a muscle towards doing it. This past week has been a wash out because I have been sick, but that does not explain the past few months. I have literally have tons of shit to sell. I need the motivation. I know money is a motivation but that doesn't seem to be enough to force me to do it. I gotta DO it so these totes can stop staring at me. There are totes full of stuff right behind me. They are there because I have to photograph, post, and put them in a place for when they sell. I need to get boxes and bags and bubble wrap. Give me the motivation to get this started!! I know once I do it, I will continue to do it. I am one of those kind of people. You have to push me off the cliff and then I will fly. 
  I have a big dilemma. It has come time to pay for my garden beds at the community garden. I do not want to be there anymore. I do not like the way it is being run and last year all of our beds were taken over by ants that like to bite. We are not allowed to use chemicals and the people that run the place did not help us at all. I think that is why our peppers did not flourish at all like they have before. There is alot of weird stuff going on at the garden that I am not going to go into. Lets just say that the person running it is an asshole elitist and we will leave it like that. So my dilemma is there is a guy that is selling 4 foot, 100 gallon galvanized steel animal feeders for $50 a piece (or best offer) and I could get four of these and put them in the front yard. Fill them with compost and not have to do the community garden thing anymore. But even at $50 a piece...that is $200. I want to get four of them while he has them because of their small size and when am I going to get an opportunity like this again?
 But I am not supposed to be spending money. What would you do? Ugh! I told him I didn't get paid till the end of the month so we shall see what I do. I will either do it or not do it.

RIP iPad

 My iPad is dead. Okay, not completely dead but she is having issues with the screen. It started acting up a month ago. Yesterday it finally went. I could get the screen up long enough to email myself all the pictures I had saved on it. It is a iPad mini and I won it in a contest. I have had it for five years. It almost never left the house and I used it ever night when I went to bed. I miss it. The screen was big enough to watch videos but small enough that it was not cumbersome. It helped me so much when I was sick or healing. I will not replace it with a android one. NO. I went on the Apple website, I saw this one and I am in love but the price. After taxes, apple care, and such...it is $527. I know I could buy it someplace else but I like the protection you get when you buy it at Apple. Plus I can get a free engraving on it. I was going to call it Heidi`s Toy. 
 It is okay. Maybe if I get one of these jobs, I can save up for it. That gives me a little hope that I will eventually have one again.

That is it for today. I have breakfast/lunch cooking and then I am going to dive into some laundry and recipes. I have been slowly pecking away at the mess in the kitchen. I was literally in bed for three straight days. So maybe it was the flu. I hope you all are not having the flu or a cold. Enjoy the last grasps of Winter. March is coming and I am dreaming of Spring.

Life can be shit

 *225 at gastro, 230 at the hospital*

  The massively large blizzard with two feet of snow will not happen for us on the shoreline. We had some snow early this morning but it quickly changed over to ice and rain. That is gonna be fun to clean up. We will have to go out in it while it is still relatively warm so it doesnt completely freeze. Ugh

 I started this blog post before the blizzard. Stuff got in the way and I never got to it to finish it. Oh well. Then life shit all over us. Let me get a coffee while you watch Jenna put rhinestones on her face.....Okay, I am back. Instead of another cup of coffee, I made myself a horking big salad. That is how I roll at 10am. I went to get the cream and forgot I bought a rotisserie chicken breast the other day. Salad it is! I have been eating alot of crap lately and not following the way I have to be eating. I have not fallen completely off the rails but... cookies and crap have happened. I have to just do this one day at a time and fight the urges to eat garbage. It is my addiction to sugar and wheat that I am fighting. So this morning I will start off with a mixed green salad with half avocado, cut up chicken, a couple cherry tomatoes, a tablespoon of blue cheese, and some dressing. Good start to the day. At noon, I have an appointment to get a massage. A well deserved one after the last week I have had.

This is my poor Jeepo. She is totaled. She is no more. Last Friday, a guy veered in front of me as I was going straight and we had a head on collision. Kid #2 was my passenger. We are sore from the accident but no broken bones thankfully. We have a rental until the total loss paperwork goes through. That could be about 2 weeks. Our mechanic has gotten his license to sell cars. He has been going to the auctions to get for him to sell. He is going to get us a new to us SUV and only charges us a small finders fee. He will be able to check the vehicle to make sure it is not a piece of shit. We are hoping for another Jeep but we have a few specifics that we asked for. He goes every Wednesday, we gave him money for the auction, and he will text us when he sees something. If we do not get anything next week, we can get something the following week. I dont want to wait for the check for the total. Let`s just get something so I do not have to drive the Nissan aka clown car around. She is a good old car but she is rickety and 16 years old. I do not want to kill her. That is why I am glad we have the rental.

  And the other shoe is health wise. So I went to have a mammogram and have my Thyroid biopsied. Insurance is going away so might as well get these things done. Next day I get the call. I have to redo my mammogram which is not a big deal to me at that point. The girls are dense and I always have to have a redo. But I stupidly went on MyChart to check my appointment times. My boobs have two appointments. One for a mammo redo. One for my left breast only for an ultrasound. That does not make me happy at all. The second part of the phone call was about my thyroid. It seems that the nodule (or more) have grown to the point that I need a biopsy. That is next Monday. I am scared shitless of needles in my throat. Shitless! I have finally figured out a few things though. The swallowing issue I have been having that is not my esophagus is most likely my thyroid. And my itching is most likely my thyroid. I worry that they will want to remove it. I am not worried about cancer with the thyroid because that is a very remote possibility and if it is, it is one of the easiest cancers to survive.  So yeah. Life is shit right now.

And it is fucking cold! It is Spring and it is freezing.

I gotta go. I took too long to write this and I still have to take a shower before my massage. I will report back on Monday after the biopsy unless I have died of fright.

Namaste

Was that a blizzard?

*232*

We had blizzard warnings. We had coastal flood warnings. We had fools buying up all the french toast supplies. It was gonna be Snowapolis!! It was for many many many. Jersey shore was flooded. D.C., Maryland, and nyc got feet not inches.
Our little neck of the woods got 4 inches. I think it is cause I really prayed hard. I was not in the mood for full scale shoveling. We may get another storm on Thursday but we best not. It is the Man`s 50th birthday and we have plans.
 I am trying to eat some breakfast this morning. My gut has been ick the past few days so this morning I have 2 scrambled, microwave cup eggs, a 8oz cup of plain kefir, and a bottle of water. Yeah I just threw the eggs away. I will stick with the kefir this morning.  My gut is like an amusment park. Tons of fun until you puke. 
  First week of Feb will be fun. I get to have a routine mammo and a roto rooter. Upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy. Yummmm!
   * I am irritated because my period is late and I dont feel good in the gut and the house is a mess. Watch out. I might bitch!*
   I was told by the gut dr that I caught the C-Diff too easily so that could mean there is a underlying reason. She threw out Inflammatory Bowel Disease aka Crohns or Colitis but I dont shoot blood out my butt so I think that could be a no. I worry what the underlying reason could be. I am being good and not dwelling on that. I might also have a esophageal stritcher which will need to be tapered. I have been having issues with food getting stuck in my upper chest when I swallow. I had a small ulcer and esophageal irritation two years ago, so we shall see if that has gotten worse. She is concerned that I am not back to normal yet and I am still losing weight.
All I know is all of my clothes are hanging on me. My favorite pants dont fit at all. I have not gone out yet to buy new sizes but if this weight loss is a trend, I will have to. 

  I am doing things to make me happy. I have been watching some shows on hulu and netflix. I have been making arm scarves. And I have been resting my body when I need. I have realized I have to do for me now. I dont know how much longer I have on this Earth. Could be decades, years, or months. I want to make the most of every moment. And if I am a skinny bitch in the process, so be it.

I hope you have a great week!

Ripe peaches are heaven

*244*

   I am taking a break from painting the kid`s room. We had gotten more then half done yesterday. It has gotten humid a bit because of the rain but I want to get it done. It is a deeper red from what she had before. It is Behr Forbidden Red. The last red was a bright red. This is more subdued. Better bedroom color, I think.
  I had my Mammo and a breast ultrasound. The conclusion is that my breasts are really dense. Especially the left one in the area where I and the Dr felt the lump. The tech showed me that we felt the upper ridge of the tissue. It feels like hills and valleys. So nothing scary! I have to redo every year. I will probably have to have ultrasounds too so that they are able to SEE anything. That was a big weight off my shoulders.

  The kid comes home in mid August. I still have not had to buy a AC for the downstairs. We are surviving nicely and the electric bill has been low. I wish I could type more but this computer is a piece of shit. I could buy a new Mac this week if I wanted to but I have to start shopping for a new fridge. The seal is going on the fridge door. I want something nice but I will get a scratch and dent to save moula. The man is going back to 2nd shift starting this week. He will come home much earlier then before and he will make a little bit more money. He is happy where he is and I am happy for him.
 That is about it. I have to change into my paint clothes and eat one of the local white skin peaches I bought today.

Cooler days ahead

Estate sale find: $2

*245* <---Dr office scale! Woot!
 Time for a new computer. The letter n is now a wackadoo. I almost have enough saved up for a Mac.
   I had a nice weekend. I did not go to Sailfest but that is what I wanted.They all went and I had the house to myself. Kid #2 is making Chicken Adobo for dinner. And I have ice cream sundae supplies. Yes, I have had some bad shit on my mind and a ice cream sundae will do me a solid at this point. I have been thinking about it since Thursday.
 Some shit has transpired this past week. All I am saying right at this point is I have a mammo scheduled for the 22nd. Probably nothing at all as per usual with me. I just have stuff weighing on my mind about it. Send me some positive thoughts. That is all I ask.  I will elaborate when I know more.

 Cooler week ahead. It will be in the 70s. I am so looking forward to this. I have some shit to do in Kid #1`s room before I start painting. It will be lovely to do it while it is pleasant. She will be home in a month. The veggie garden is progressing. I have teeny cukes and squash blossums. I have some cherry tomatoes growing and the blueberries on my small bush are almost blue!

  I feel I should have more to say but like I said, my mind is elsewhere. I just wanted to post this week. I have to make a better effort at this.