Dreaming of Spring

Cortlands and MacIntosh

*253*

   My dining room table has these three bags of apples on it. Macs and Cortlands. The room smells nice. I was able to get these for $5 a bag. They are each almost 20 lbs each. That comes to 25 cent a lb. I have decided to do some apple sauce but also some apple jelly. I have to see if I have any more cheese cloth. I love being able to buy something cheaply, make it into something good, and it saves money.

  But first I have to clean house. Ugh.

  I am a person that has a really tidy and well ordered house...in my mind. Yeah, not so much in reality. I have dusty window ledges. How do I tackle that when I have so much to do? It is my running theme in my life. I am a sick person who likes to live in a clean home but lives with family that has ADHD.  It is a freaking party! I try to rein in my ADHD tendencies by sticking with one or two areas of interest a day. The kitchen is always part of that list. It is always a mess in the morning. Always! I never wake up to smooth counter tops and everything put away. Today I will also tackle the downstairs bath. That is the *children`s* bathroom but it is also the one that people would use if they came to the house. It is like a fucking swamp. I leave it till I cant take it anymore. Those will be my two areas of interest. The vacuuming, recycling, mopping, dog washing, stair sweeping, dusting, laundry, and general decluttering will just have to wait it`s turn for more energy.

  Yeah, more energy. That is a funny notion. I miss the days of being able to do what I want and my body doesnt betray me.  I will need to muster up plenty of that fabled energy soon. My bestie, A, has some very bad bad back issues. She will need surgery. She is weaving through the maze of worker`s comp now. I am her friend and she will need my help through this. Rides to the Dr. Care after surgery. I have already started cooking meals and slowly cleaning her house. Cooking and cleaning for her but there are her Mother and Son living there also. Yeah, you read that right. I have two homes to clean. I am not complaining. I love her and it has to be done. I just dont know how.  If you have any ideas, just let me know. I fear that this could hurt me. I am already dealing with something neurological that I dont wanna talk about. It will have to wait cause I dont have the time or the money to afford being laid up right now.

  Positives for today are always good.  The furnace is wonderful. I have it on the low side. It is 20 something out but the house is good. You need a light sweater but we aren't millionaires.  I bought a primrose plant for 25 cents. It breaks my spend fast but I needed to see the flowers that it brings. My friend gifted me a blu ray player. I have to hook it up. Very happy about that! Hubs birthday is next week. I havent decided on the menu but he will have a Almond Joy cake. Oh yeah.I am actually starting to like my grey hairs that are popping up. I have decided I wont color. I earned every one of them!

I will post about the spending fast this weekend. While it supposedly snows.

Living in ADHD Wonderland

*249* <---stress ate over the weekend

    Ruby, our three yr old puggle mix is on 500 mg of Cipro 2x a day for like 10 days. She has mastitis in her back nips. For three days I thought she might have breast cancer. I was a wreck! After spending a large amount for blood work, the vet said she is fine. The pills are slowly working. Every day is a bit better. I hide them in a piece of bread with peanut butter. She doesnt spit them out when I do that. i ate so many cookies. Too many to count. Pushing the veggies this week. LOL

  I have been learning through therapy that I live in a ADHD household. I probably have it also but I am high functioning. Some women just learn fast what works in their life to keep shit smooth. People like me are hard to diagnose as ADHD too. That being said, we know for a fact that two of them are most definitely from testing and the other has all the classic symptoms. That makes life for me extra fun!
 All the clutter. All the times they leave stuff laying around. The forgetfulness. I have to remind/nag to the point that I am a asshole. I have to basically do everything. I have been complaining for years but I finally know why this family is the way it IS. I read this article (20 things to remember if you love a person with ADD) the other day and it really opened my eyes to it more than before. It says ADD but both problems are basically the same. I was told by the therapist that it is very surprising that Hubs and I have been together for almost 30 years. People with ADD and ADHD as adults and unmedicated are hard to be around. I have learned to adapt. I have to learn that is okay to be his keeper cause I love him. But the girls need to stop forcing me to be their keepers. They have to go out on their own with their lives without me being their beacon.

  Yeah.. I am working on how  I let myself become a doormat over the years. Time to change that.  I also want to be ME again. We shall see how it goes.

  I fell under familial pressure and had the cable turned back on. Grrr! We lasted 3 months. THREE months! I was in heaven. They all started in on me about it when the new Fall shows started and Football.  I will be stressing the bills again but they get to watch unlimited commercials! WooHoo! *smirk* Oh..I had my 2nd ultrasound on my thyroid yesterday. I probably wont hear anything till Friday/Monday. I am not worrying about it. They are probably the same size as before. I will update if there is a change.

Gloomy and rainy day.  I have laundry going. I have to wash dishes (again). Roast a butternut squash for soup. Figure out what is for dinner. Fry bacon for BLTs for lunch. And water my plants. I ordered Kid #2`s bed this morning from Walmart. It will be here by her birthday next week. I am just doing. You all know how those days go..if there is anybody out there actually. Part of me thinks I am just talking to myself.
 Have a great Wednesday. American Horror Story!

Drowning in a sea of clutter

*250*

 First off we must talk about Doctor Who.
Oh yeah! Two more days until we see some David Tennant and Billie Piper. I cannot WAIT!

 Sorry I have not posted, if anyone cares. I have been literally drowning in filth and clutter. Nothing is more joyous than cleaning up after other adults. Joy To The World! I want to get rid of shit and make this place less ADHD and more about being fucking clean. I am glad that I now know why my family is dirty and my sick ass cannot keep up. They are getting help to learn about it and hopefully be able to help me. Sometimes I just want to run away.
I am boxing stuff up and having large furniture pieces taken away by a charity. I have to empty them out, semi organize all the crap and then paint, get shelving and have this place looking the way that I want it. The problem is that I have a couple adult children that do not know how to let go of shit. Since I am getting rid of that big armoire, the ugly bookshelf and the Ikea coffee table..I need to box up all that stuff that was stored inside of them. You know what that means right?
There is shit piled E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E. I have boxes piled with stuff and the stuff will get piled in the corner after the corner is free from the big furniture going away.
 I do have plans and I am slowly making dents. All the canning and cleaning stuff are going on the metal shelves at the bottom of the stairs in the basement. Once I get that out of the way, and all the plants in safe sunny places...I can start tossing.
 It is really hard, you know? I am dealing with full blown perimenopause so I just yell at people for no reason and take things the wrong way at the drop of a hat.
I am a mess. But I am still exercising and eating healthy. The weight loss as stalled but the inches are coming off. I have to drop the carbs again. I started eating them again but not at the level before. I had to use insulin. Then my weight loss stopped. I know what I have to do. I am going to start again on December 1st. I gave myself a date. Otherwise, everything is good.

Okay...this was quick but I really need to get working on the clutter around here. It might not bother them but it bothers me to no end.