Monday, February 12, 2018

Busy life always


    If you are reading this before Valentines Day 2018, get thee to the local Rite Aid (if you have one). They have a long white box of Russel Stover Chocolates (1lb 10oz) for only $9.99. That is like two chocolate hearts in one! We always have a box of chocolate for the family. I almost wasnt going to buy it this year but then my traditional heart won out. So I ate chocolate and I spent money. I think I have a major soft spot for V day because Kid #1`s birthday is right afterward. We will be celebrating her day on Friday this year because she has plans on her actual day. I really need to get off my ass and look up a vegan cheesecake recipe. (writing down to add to my list.

Health Schmealth
  I was just off the phone with the hospital. They were asking me the barrage of bodily questions for my boob MRI next Monday. Do you have metal in your body? No. Do you have a pace maker? No. Etc etc. This is my 6 month scan. I have to do blood work this week for it because they will be doing an IV contrast. Can you all do me a favor? Can you send out good vibes for me? I am going to be having an MRI and a Mammo done on the same day. Let`s hope the find NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. My boobs just disappeared. I stopped taking the Methotrexate. The stomach pain which I think was an impending ulceration has subsided. It is still there but much much less. I think if I continued to take it, I would have had to take medication to treat it. I had to cancel my upper endoscopy. Hubby does not have PTO like he used to and we cannot afford to have him lose a day of work. I do not have anyone else to drive me (they all have to work every day too) and the place where I was going to have it done is way too far away to take an Uber. Yes, money over health. I never had to do that before. But I can not have that hit to the budget.  I am feeling better. But now the psoriasis and the back pain are creeping back. I wonder if I will be able to take anything at all.  We shall see.

Good job vibes

  Last Friday, I went to an early morning meeting at the local Easter Seals. It was a Business Advisory Committee meeting. I was the only job seeker (the other person cancelled). It was a meeting of sorts that had nothing to do with me at first. It was made up of my job counselor , her boss, and three women who work in HR in different companies. I was given good advice about my resume. And I was given an opportunity. I was offered to work for a large company that has a local headquarters. It would be a paid internship. I would get paid through Bureau of Rehab and the company would teach me all that I need to know about admin work. They would get an extra set of hands that they would not have to pay for. It would be full time and the internship will last for 6 months. There is no guarantee of being hired unless there is an opening and they want you. But the work can go on my resume and I will learn shit. And I can say that I really know this shit. This is exciting. I should know more this week.
 Yesterday, I sat with my coffee and re-did my resume. The issue with mine was that it was a skills based resume. There were no dates. They all said that they do not pay attention to those types of resumes. I told them that it has been 15 years since I officially worked. I figured most places would look at that and hire someone younger. Oh, they all said NO in unison. They would rather hire someone older because of the stability and drama free. They all agreed that my past years of volunteering should go to the top of my resume, job experience after. That is what I did. I sent it off to my job person so she can tweek it. There were some Word stuff that I could not figure out even after I googled them. Like how do you make a half space? I did what Google told me to do and it cut the words in half instead. It will take me some time to figure that kind of shit out.

Rain Rain Go Away

   I should be thankful it is just rain and not snow. I am completely dressed to take a walk. Sneakers are on. I was ready to go. Then the rain started. It is a sprinkle but I do not want to chance it. All I need to do is go out in that and make myself susceptible to the effin Flu. Accuweather SAYS the sun is supposed to come out. So far, I see no sun. I see clouds, dreary, and rain drops on the patio. Kid #2 and I took at walk at the beach last week. It was good. My stomach didn't protest too much. This past week has been so busy that I havent had time to think of the aches and pains. I helped her declutter her room. She was feeling low and it showed in her housekeeping. A cleaner bedroom always helps to lift your spirits a little bit.  Then I bottled up our first successful batch of Kombucha. We were gifted with one baby each from the two mothers. I have to start a new batch today for fermenting. It will get to the point where I will have to start giving scobys (that is what you call the Mother) away. Either that or throw them away. Someone suggesting composting. <---more on that later.  Mondays are always kind of busy for me. Lately I could probably say that about every day. I always wish for a lazy day but that day never comes. I guess I probably had enough lazy being so sick for all those years that my head had decided I am making up for time. Granted, I am not a healthy person by any means. I know that. I am not trying to fool myself. But I am better then I used to be. I have gained more energy with my years. I am taking full advantage until it is snatched away from me later on in life.  So I have dishes soaking in the sink and it looks like the rain has stopped. I will take that walk after this and do some much needed housework. Always much needed when I  tend to be the only one that does it.

City Garbage Stinks

  Our mayor has decided that when grant money is waved in front of his nose, he needs to use it. He is proposing a pay per bag system for our city. 60 cents per kitchen sized bag and $1 per big ass bag. They think that people will recycle more because of this. Ummm. No. This is a city. Small but a city nonetheless. There will be trash dumped everywhere. We will have rats and stink as far as the eye can see. There are people in this city that cannot even be bothered to get their drivers license and insurance. What makes them think people will recycle if they never have? Or people who are living in utter poverty..They are not going to spend $20 for a box of garbage bags. And of course, our taxes are not going to go down at all. This is like double taxation if you ask me.
 I recycle like a Motherfucker. Most people have one of those square recycle boxes. I have four. The garbage guys gifted me that many cause they know that I am a recycle queen. But even with all that recycling, we still have a full garbage bin every week. If I had to pay $1 a bag...that could be $3 a week. Sometimes more during the holiday season. I do not want to spend that on garbage bags. I have always toyed with the idea of composting. Buying one of those things that you spin to compost. I never bought one because I never figured I would need it. Yeah. I think we need it. You see, this is not just a proposal. They have the grant money and they aim to spend it. So this is going to happen. They do not care what any of the residents think. They will not put it up for a vote. They will say it is so and there is nothing we can do about it. 
  I would want to get one of these small gallon compost bins for the counter in the kitchen. I have a friend that uses one.  Then I want one of the tumbler bins. You can spin it to mix the compost. Something like this or maybe this. But I will shop around. I know nothing of these things so I really have to do my research. I know that I could just make a pile in the yard for free but I do not want to deal with raccoons and pissing off the neighbors from the stink. This is a better solution for me. Maybe I will find one that someone is giving away on Craiglist.

 That is it for this week. The dog is bugging me to go out and I should really get that walk in while the dishes are soaking. I hope you have a great week and do not eat too much chocolate!! (I am saying that to myself!)

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Living that plant life


     Last week, I purchased foil dryer vent tubing to replace the old shit we had downstairs. Whilst I was working on getting that attached, I realized that when the new furnace was put in...there is no room for the dryer and washer to leave when they die! We are going to have to break through the wall behind it and reconfigure shit. Not that bad since all the stuff is right there just have to turn shit around. But still. Fuckers! Plus, I was not successful getting the hosing attached because I am too short for the vent window and I am a quitter. Hubs attached everything for me, thank goodness.
 I did not need all that was bought so I returned said things back to Home Depot. That is when I spied this little girl (i just watered her.) She is a grafted Ruby Ball cactus. I paid $4.95 for her. I have done very well with cacti and some succulents so this is a good plant to add to the menagerie.

I do not like my new Gastro

   I said I was not going to talk about health so this will be brief. I am dealing with some gut issues. I saw the gastro yesterday (I miss my old gastro mucho) and after some talk it was decided that she is going to do an upper endoscopy on me on the 16th. Yay! I get to wait with 11 more days of pain and wonder. To be perfectly honest, I think I need a colonoscopy. It is a colon issue most definitely but she is the one with the degree. That sounds snarky, yes? See. The gastro that retired (she took over his office), he had been around for all my gut issues so when I would show up sick and in pain..he listened and he did what had to be done. This feels like I may end up in the ER at some point because she chooses to use the soft approach to things. I am going to probably have to look for another stomach dr at some point. We shall see. She actually asked me if I was depressed. Yes bitch, I have depression but I am not going to tell you that because you will not treat me. You will tell me to see my therapist for *warning! gross* pencil thin stools. Google pencil thin stools with stomach pain, gas, bloating, and nausea. I am thinking it is probably a polyp that has gotten large and needs to be taken out. But we will do an upper endoscopy cause she wants to look at my stomach. <---this is all the reason why I did not post yesterday. Kinda livid after that appointment

 Okay, enough of that. Food is a better subject

  No new pressure cooker yet but I did some research and I will probably be getting an Instant Pot this time. My gifter was waiting to get the money back from Amazon before she ordered me a new one. I have been dying to cook in it. Dying. Like I have no idea what I am going to cook today. I have to cook on the stove or in the oven. I would rather throw shit in the pot and forget it. I will not talk about that or the recipes that I want to try until I get my new one.  As for cooking, I am planning on making some chocolate covered coconut bon bons for Valentines day. I am also going to look up how to make like chocolate truffles cause Kid #2 does not like coconut. This and This link of recipes look good. I will do some more searching to find the right one.  Kid #1s birthday is coming up soon and I have to plan for that too. She does not eat cheese and limited dairy. We were thinking I could make a vegan cheese cake. I really need to sit down and look through our raw cookbooks. We have a couple of Ani Phyo`s cookbooks. They are good to have on hand when you are in the mood for a nice fresh meal. We have Ani`s Raw Food Kitchen and Ani`s Raw Food Essentials. I might cook dinner for her birthday also but I need to discuss with her what she would like to have.  Money is not what it used to be plus we are in the thick of snow season. Best to have a nice in home back up plan just in case of blizzard.

Walking for yer health

  I admit that I have not walked for a week but I will give you my valid reasons. I wanted to but my body said no. First it was because of the methotrexate, I think. I was having some major nerve pain in my foot, leg, and hip all last week. Like the kind that feels like cattle prod shocks. I was thinking I busted a cervical because I was having shocks in my arms too. Then I noticed I had pins and needles in my face. I realized that it was the dang pill. My psoriasis is disappearing but I adopted some gnarly pain instead. I am not really noticing any of my joint or back pain getting better but I digress. The weird nerve pain has subsided so I think it is just a side effect of the pill.  I did not take the pill yesterday because of my gut issues. I was told to stop it whenever I am sick.  So between the shocks and my gut, walking is not on my immediate horizon. I will try again in a couple days. Even if I can get a mile in, that will be better then nothing at all. Right? Like right now, My head feels like she wants to take a walk. But my gut is like *Bitch, you know better*.  I am still losing weight so I am moving in the right direction.

Bits and bobs

The stone mason is outside fixing a crumbling step as I type. It cost $50 so far. I wonder how much he is going to come at me for the rest. It best not be more then $100 or I will lose my shit.
 I have a dress and a shirt to do some sewing too.
I have a job interview for a job I probably do not want on Thursday. I will probably just go for the interview for the experience. I have a couple jobs that I have applied for floating out there that I really want. I think this one was one that my job coach applied for me in the beginning of our search. It is part time. I am looking for 32 hours or more. Working for 10 hours a week is a waste of my time when I need money. If I already had a job and this was a nice little filler job, that is different. I am not feeling it at all but I will show up and interview because they will be interviewing a bunch of people that day. Good interviewing learning experience
The kitchen is a disaster. When is it not? So I have to pick my ass up, take my medicine, and start dealing with that shit.

 I am sorry this mostly a negative post but my gut is sick. I am not in a good place to spread positivity. I mean, the cactus is positive. You can just read that paragraph over and over. :)
 I hope you have a great week. I hope we do not get a buttload of snow (maybe a little tomorrow) and I hope that I can get out there and walk!

Ta Ta for Now!


Monday, January 29, 2018

Boobs a-hoy

*233* <---so says the scale at the oncology dept and the vet scale (yes) at the kid`s job

  We will see how long this post will be. I just took my week Methotrexate for the PA and it can give you diarrhea and tummy upset. For me, it lasts about an hour or so. Not an all day affair. But every week can be a different saga. I am going to type and eat my antipasto salad while I wait for the pills to work their way through my gastrointestinals.

  The oncology appointment went well. She thinks my breast pain is hormonal. She did feel the ridge in my breast that was not there before. Probably just more denseness. But I am going to be having a MRI and Mammo of my boobs in February so if there is anything, they will see it and we will work accordingly. From here on out, I will have to be vigilant with my boobage. It sucks but it is a part of many women`s lives. I see the boob surgeon in February also. We will have a good round out of talking about my past surgery and how I am doing.

  So, my pressure cooker shit the bed. Something happened to the steam release button on the lid and it would not get up to pressure. Since my friend bought it on Amazon, it had to be returned back to Amazon. I do not know if I am getting another one. I am not asking about it. If I get one, I do. If I do not, it was fun while it lasted. That means no new recipes to share this week. But if you have a pressure cooker and would like to do some Indian Cooking, try this place called Two Sleevers. Tried and true recipes that are really goooooood. You will never need to go to an Indian restaurant again because you can make it all at home. You just have to acquire all the spices. Which shouldnt be so hard for  many of us. You either have an Indian grocery store (which I have) or you can shop online for what you need. 

  I am starting to feel the pill giving me an issue but so far, so good.

  I have been walking almost every day. There has been a bit of rain here in the Northeast so on those days I did not walk. With the flu season in full swing, I do not want to invite something I do not need. I did have a flu shot but you never know. I will walk later today after the pill has moved out of my system. One of my goals is to conquer our hill. Very steep hill in my neighborhood. My goal is to walk to the bottom, walk to the top, walk to the bottom, walk to the top until I do not feel like I may pass out.  Not really that hard but I want to utilize the hill for what it can give my stomach, hips, legs, and butt. Who needs to pay for a gym when you live in hilly New England?

  I had a job phone interview on Friday. It went well. The person said they will be calling people end of this week to set up in person interviews. I am staying positive and I am not going to be negative. But I am also being realistic. There are alot of people out there looking for work, especially office work. I just keep plugging along with my resumes and cover letters. One day something good will stick. My job is out there. I am going to a Business Advisory Council in February. Hopefully the people that will be there from HR departments will have some ideas on what I should do and whether they know of any places doing internships. I have to utilize all the tricks in my bag to try to land a job.

  I have a mega mess in the kitchen to clean. I am in my leggings, t-shirt, and sneakers. Dressed for walking but going to battle the dirty dishes. Today is Hubs birthday and I am going to try to cook something. We had dinner out last night but tonight is all about being inside and maybe playing a board game.

That is it. Pill is kicking in. If anything pops up, I will post again this week. If not, see you on Monday.


Thursday, January 18, 2018

May 1, 2018


     103 days from today till May 1, 2018.

   That is how much time I have to lose at least 10lbs and lower my A1c to a normal level. I had been lollygagging about this for two months. I shake my head at myself. Yes, this is an unscheduled blog post. I had to talk about it to you to just get it out there in the universe.

  Since December, I did lose the 10lbs that I gained but I need to lose at LEAST 10lbs more. I will tell you why.  When I saw my Endo last time in December, we discussed how I had to change my eating seriously because of all the autoimmune stuff going on. He gave me till my next appointment to lose at least 10lbs and show a vast improvement in my blood sugars. He wants to be shocked. He even noted it in my file. If I did not show any improvement, I would have to agree to raising my insulin levels. Now. If anyone has been paying attention, if I raise my insulin levels, I will gain more weight for sure. At that appointment, I weight 250 something. Right now I weigh 236-237-238. I have lost 10lbs but my A1c will show I have still be eating shittily. Why am I talking about this now? I looked on the calendar yesterday and saw that I had my appt with him on February 12! That is not enough time to change more. So I called to change it. Unfortunately, they are a very popular office. They said I would have to wait till May 1st for my next appointment. I jumped at it! I am just prolonging my 3 month diabetes check. I go to them religiously. So for me to extend it beyond this time, is not a bad thing. If anything came up between now and then, they would bring me in on a sick check.

  This is my declaration to myself.  Girl, you need to do all that have learned. Now is the time. Get off your ass and DO IT!

1 Walk every morning with a few exceptions. Temps in the single digits, icy or snowing, big rain storms, and temps above 85 and humidity. The last ones I can walk at the Mall.

2. Eat 20g or less of carbohydrates a day. Eat high fat and moderate protein.

3. Take your supplements. All of them. Not just the Vit D and B-12.

4. Drink more water.

5. If I am hungry, eat more fat.

6. Stick with it. You quit smoking for Christ`s Sake. You can quit carbs and sugar!

I am also going to follow the Histamine protocol for my autoimmunes but I am not going to stress myself over it. I already know that wheat is a major issue. Since I have basically cut it out of my life except for a couple psoriasis has been clearing up.

Now. You may have seen the picture in my IG with me holding Keiko. I am able to wear a size 16 very well. Some of them are actually too loose. But I am not ready for size 14 yet. But I still look like a fatty mcbutter pants. That is because I am 5`4'. I am supposed to be in the lower 100s. We all know that will probably never happen. Plus, I would suffer greatly with all the excess skin. But I am not going to think about that right now.
I need to walk in the mornings because right now, that is where my energy lies. That window has passed today. The weather for tomorrow is mostly sunny the high will be 35 deg F but it will be colder in the morning. That is okay weather. Tomorrow I am going to put on my leggings and my sneakers and I am going to walk to 2 miles up the hill and around.

  I am going to be dealing with mega Keto Flu. We have Christmas chocolate that was bought at 75% off. I have to use all my resolve in life to stay away. STAY AWAY! I can do this. See, the more fat adapted you become, the less you want all that stuff you stopped eating. I just have to get over that hump....again.

  Time to get moving. I have to drive people places because I am the family chauffeur. and I have to decide what is for dinner. Something in the Gowise pot for sure. Just do not know what yet.  Have a good rest of your week and I will be back!

Monday, January 15, 2018

MLK Day doings and goings

*236* <---weighed on scale at Vet office. 

   I do not know how long this post will be cause I am in some amount of pain this morning and sitting still is not an option. I blame it on over doing it this weekend and the weather. This too shall pass. Look at me! Three weeks in a row. I am getting some kind of blogger momentum going, huh?  I and the man have to leave here in a few so I will be semi brief..maybe. We shall see how fast my fingers can fly.

  I wanted to first share a recipe with you. Last night, Kid #2 made Indian Butter Chicken in the pressure cooker. I went to the co-op to get garam masala because we did not have any more.  OMG this was soooooo good. She used coconut milk instead of regular milk. There was the butter in there but it was not enough to hurt my stomach. I had this nestled over a bed of salad. Now, this is a Instant Pot/Pressure cooker recipe. But I bet you that you can figure out how to make it if you do not have a pressure cooker. If you like Indian food, this is one is a keeper. This website shows all types of Indian recipes. I think I may have to make a trip across the bridge to replenish our spice stocks at the local Raj cash and carry.  Soooo gooooddddd!

I said so good twice so that means something.

  The job hunt for me has been slow and not so slow. I have been putting in my cover letters and resumes to many many job listings. My job counselor has been doing the same. I have not heard a peep from any of them. She told me that this time of year is hard to get a job. And when jobs come up, hundreds of people apply. I guess I have to be patient. But it is hard. I know I am doing everything correct. I am working on my skills at home with the internets help. Just have to be patient and send out those positive vibes I guess. I just want a little office job. I just want someone to give this old lady a chance.

   I had a long conversation with some people in the AIP community. I found a place that is actually nice and helpful. I was told that I might have histamine intolerance. This might be the answer to my itching. And alot of my other issues. Even my low blood pressure. It was like a lightbulb clicked on in my head. Eureka! I have found my answer to my problems. It is a really sucky outcome but I can work with it if it is going to make me feel better. They said that when I take a zyrtec, and it helps, that is histamine. It is in the foods that I eat. Now I cannot possibly do Keto, AIP, and Histamine protocol. That would be ridiculous. I can eat low carb and work on the eating lower histamine foods. You treat all the histamine foods like you do with the AIP diet. You eliminate them all, you wait a couple weeks, and you reintroduce them one at a time. The ones that give you a reaction are out, the rest can stay back in.  I have to type something up and print it out so that I can stick it on the fridge. There are alot of no no foods for me at this time. But I am tired of feeling like shit all the time.

  I have not been completely keto either. I dont feel like a failure about it though. I just have to try every day to get it right. Yesterday was actually pretty good. Except for the 4 hershey kisses that I ate in the evening. When you have three other adults in the house, you cannot really dictate what foods come in. I am not a dictator. I just have to not eat those things. What I need to do is eat more fat during the day. Then I wont be apt to fuck up in the evening time. Today is a clean slate.

  Okay. I think that is all I can do for now. I have been sneezing up a storm the whole time I have been typing this. I hope to GAWD that coffee isnt a histamine food.....*looking*..... I do not see coffee on this list or the last three I scanned. Probably something else.  I heard that dealing with HI is a major pain in the ass and it is a life long struggle.
Again...I need to get going over here. I hope you all have a lovely and productive week. I am going to do some more sorting of the ebay pile behind me. We are up for some snow either Tuesday or Wednesday. Hopefully it is not alot because that foot of snow we had is all gone now from the warm up last week.
I will see you next Monday.

Monday, January 8, 2018

Praise! It is 30 deg F!

*230-something* <---i have not stepped on a scale in a week or two so I really do not know. 

      We survived the Bombogenesis. Our little neck of CT received a generously heaping spoonful of snow. It was about a foot with nice snow drifts. The temps have been rock bottom too. Not been fun for my skin, I can tell you right now. I have been coconut oiling myself every day to combat the psoriasis and the old lady crepe from the heat being on constantly. Today is going to be in the 30s and by the middle of the week it will be close to 50. Be gone you evil snow.

   Today I have stuffs to do but I feel a little shitty so I will be going slowly while doing them. I think my head is a little fucked because of the barometer and we are supposed to get a little snow this evening. So if I can get out of my pjs, that will be a major accomplishment. One of the things we have to do today is our DNA. Hubs and I have two 23andme DNA kits aka the government has got your ass now kits. You have to not drink or eat anything for 30 minutes and then you spit in the tube and send them off. We get to see where we came from. I have always known that I am Polish, Italian, Swedish, and Norwegian. Now could my Polish grandmother have had some Jewish ancestry that we do not know about? I guess I will find that out in a few weeks. The girls at first were a little miffed because they did not get kits. Why should you both get kits when you have the same DNA? We, as your parents, can do it and you will get the same answer. *eye roll* I will share those results when they come in.

  My lofty plans of walking have been curtailed by the weather. My plan is to get out there tomorrow morning if it is not icy from the storm and I feel okay in the head. I have been fairly active the past few months so it isnt that I have to start slow or anything. I just did not want to freeze my tookas off. See, I could go to the Mall to walk but then I end up shopping instead. I could get a gym membership but you all remember how I paid for two years and never went once. Walking the hills of my neighborhood is the safer bet for me. My house is way too small for any exercise equipment. We tried when we bought a cheapo elliptical at Salvation Army. It worked great and it was a folding one. That shit sat in the corner. Got unfolded a couple times. Sat next to the tv set, mocking me because I never used it or even dusted it.  I have a couple walking routes that I have used in the past. I just have to get dressed and do it.

  Yo. The pressure cooker is the best thing ever. Myself and #2 have made about 6-7 meals in it so far since Christmas. I went out to Target and bought a rack to put it on. It has it`s own area by the kitchen window with it`s own plug. No need to move it off and on the counters. We have very limited counter space. We have a galley kitchen. Only room for 1-2 butts at a time. Anyway...the pressure cooker is really good. I made fork tender pulled pork in 1 hour and 30 minutes. What! And it tasted like it was cooking for hours. We cooked chili, a few soups, pulled pork, a chicken dish, hamburger dish, and all were good. You can find many recipes online for using the electric pressure cooker. I still say, if you do not have one..beg borrow or plead to get one.

   I had a revelation last week after posting here. I am not doing AIP and Keto. When I try to eat that way, I do not eat at all. I practically starving and I am not being literal. It is so hard to keep your blood sugars low but also stick to the strict Auto immune way of eating. You just cannot do it. Unless you have unlimited grocery resources and/or you have someone to cook for you. I just couldnt do it.  I have decided and started to eat keto but I am not going to eat certain foods like nuts and peanuts. I will eliminate all nightshades except tomatoes because they are life. And I am going to eat limited dairy. Sometimes I need it in a pinch if I am hungry but I will not seek it out and especially in large amounts. Back on track. Keto for me is the smart solution to alot of my medical problems.

  I had a birthday. Saturday I turned 49 years old. It was a good day. Of course it was not keto complaint but that was my last food thing until October comes around again. Hoping I am thin as a reed and have a stronger constitution by the time it is Halloween. We have a couple more birthdays coming up but I can say no to cake. I had my slice...okay two slices. It was Red Velvet and I was not gonna say no. Someone that is way young was shocked when he saw my FB post about turning 49. He said WTF! I thought you were 32!
He either does not know how to determine someones age or he needs a new eyeglass prescription. But I will take the compliment as the best present ever.

  Okay. I need to get going. I have to be a taxi today and I have to get out of this feeling like crap mode. I hope you have a wonderful week and I will see you on the next.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

A new year to conquer

*237* <----I gained but I got it back down to this

  I have a feeling you have all disappeared because of my blogging hiatus. I really wasnt planning on coming back at all. Life got away from me and this was not something I had time for. I mean, theoretically, if I did want to do it, I would find time to. But I just did not. If you had been waiting for me to come back, I am sorry.

    You still know I am alive because my IG is attached and you can see my postings. You can also see that Keiko is a BIG girl. She is my sweet little muffin baby. She is not nice to everyone else but me. And that is how it should be. We lost Perla last month (the chihuahua). Vet thinks it was an bad intestinal infection. It came on quickly and took her without her having to go through any trauma going to the vet. Ruby is the lone dog now. We have put her on a diet and she is liking her single status. But we make sure not to say Perla`s name. She looks around for her if we do.

  About 2 months ago, I started a new way of eating challenge. Because of my diagnosis of Psoriatic Arthritis, I wanted to try not to take any strong medications for it. I was given the idea that I should eat AIP (autoimmune protocol) and Keto (because of my blood sugars). These two styles of eating for health come together as a very harsh harsh way of eating. HARSH! I had fallen off the keto wagon and gained about 20lbs. It was all stress related to health stuff. It was time and with a good talking to, I embarked into the AIP/KETO. I did not fully immerse myself into fat, and I was hungry all the time. I decided to give myself the Christmas holidays to indulge (but not over indulge) and pick back up on it for January. And here I am. AIP?KETO consists of avoiding grains, gluten, nightshades, nuts, seeds, bad for you oils, all fruits but berries occasionally, dairy, eggs, rice, high carb veggies, coffee, and sugar. I have been drinking tea in place of coffee and it has been okay. I have a nice strong English Breakfast that gives me the caffeine I need to get through life. 

  I do not want to get into my health woes anymore. If it is something serious, I will mention it but otherwise, I am gonna keep it to myself. That is probably why I have no followers because it reads like a pity party. It isn't but some may perceive it that way. I do want to mention a couple things. I had a architectural distortion removed from my breast, it was not cancer. I did BRCA 1 and 2 genetic testing and it came back negative. I could still be positive though. It is weird how that stuff is but the girls are safe. I was supposed to start taking a cancer drug this month but I decided against it. The side effects were too much for me to want to have to deal with. I will be having a MRI and Mammo on my breasts every six months to make sure there is no more growths. My gut is good and bad. Because of my change in eating, I have healed alot of my ulcerations and I am in good status with my colitis. I did find out from the new gastro that I am celiac. It explains alot.

  Right now, at this point in my life, I am doing okay. My birthday is on Satuday. The big 49. The last of the 40s. I will miss them when they are gone. As for the new year, no resolutions but just realizations. I have to stay with AIP until all my symptoms are gone. Then I slowly re-introduce foods on the no list. Some I will be able to add back, some I will never be able to eat again. Wheat and all gluten of course. I will stick with that modified AIP and Keto for as long as I am allowed to. I want to really start walking. It is way too bitterly cold here in the Northeast but when it gets back up to the 30s, I am out there. I have the sneakers. I have the socks. I have the clothes to get the job done. It will be better for my arthritis anyway if I stop being so stagnant and move my ligaments and joints. So walking and eating for health are #1 and #2 on my life realizations.

    Clutter has gotta go. I have been saying this for years but now I mean it. I want to get rid of anything that is just not worthy of this tiny space we have in this house. I have been tossing stuff that is garbage, donating , and selling since the Fall. Now I need to step up my game. I have books to donate, treasures to sell, and clothes to purge. If I have never used it, it has to go. I tend to hold onto some things because of nostalgia or it is old and I must own it. But I think I am done with all that. I want to make run for other things. Crap that is collecting dust and has no purpose for us can leave this house and give someone else a purpose.  DeCluttering in 2018 is #3.

  Money. Money has really been difficult this past year. I have been working with a state agency to get help with getting a job. I really want to try to do it. I am at the stage now where I am very close. I had two really good job interviews. I did not get the jobs but it is good practice. Now that the holidays are over, we are flooding my resumes out there in the ethers and hoping someone wants to give this old smart girl a chance.  I have always said, I need to budget. I need to save money. Blah blah blah. And then I do not do it. Once I wanted to try a no spend year. Nope. Then I tried No Spend Months. Nope, could even do that. I have a new attitude about it now. I aint spending any money. I have bills that need to be paid and paid off. I want to not stress about tax time. I want to have a nice job with some little part time job on the side. Make a good amount of money, be out in the world with people, and just enjoy that part of life that I have missed for the past 16 years. Have a healthy relationship with Money is #4.

  That is it. I have four goals for my life right there. I hope to at least accomplish them all. LMAO. I am realistic. But I have been thinking about this stuff since way before the holidays. I may fail at them all but I am going to try and we shall see how it goes.

If anyone is still out there, I am going to try to blog once every Monday. I will put it in my calendar to remind my forgetful ass.  I guess I could say Blogging my shit would be #5 on that list of life affirming junk.

Toodles. :)