One week later

one of four types of hosta in my yard

*230*

  I am here. I am alive. I assume you know that because I am still posting on IG. Today is one week since my breast cancer surgery. I had a bilateral (both breasts) lumpectomy to remove cancer on right and radial scar on the left. The surgeon only removed one lymph node which is amazingly good. Really good. Means no spread there. I have to wait 3 weeks for the results of my Oncotype test. Lets pray for a very very very low score. We dont want no chemo over here. I see my surgeon on Thursday for post op. I see my onco end of the month. I start radiation after I am healed in 6 weeks. So we are looking at the end of June. Then I do that for 5 and 1/2 weeks. That carries me to the first week of August. Then I will start the hormone blocker meds after that...five years of that bitch. Hopefully the symptoms wont be too bad for me. I am going to stay positive.

   I am healing very well. The steristrip on my armpit came off in my sleep last night. It was hanging by a thread. I trimmed it. No pulling off. It has to come off on it`s own or the surgeon will do it. The areas are so itchy but I just smack them and tell them to shut up. Literally just smack them like a tattoo. My honest opinion, lumpectomy surgery is a piece of cake in the surgery side of things. I took Tylenol for the first 2 days and then I was fine. If you are ever faced with this type of surgery, just know that it is not horrible pain wise and healing is super easy.

    I had to keep it easy last week but I did get some gardening done before surgery. The garden bed on the side of the house is filled. Kale, beets, cauliflower (a first for me), swiss chard, and lettuce. It is doing very well. I have three big pots filled with radish babies and I have three pots with a basil plant in each. Still too cold here to break out the tomato plants. I do not have a bed in the front done yet so I think I will do a couple cherry tomato plants in pots and call it a day. I also have my trusty pot of chives. She comes up every year. I did not renew my membership to the community garden and decided to just stay home this year. I am going to do some shade veggies and hopefully I will have garden beds built in the front by the Fall! Dammit! LOL..I did talk to a friend of Hubs. He will do it for me. I just want two 4-6 foot long ones and that is all. I will be happy.

  Yesterday was the last day of Breast Cancer Bingefest 2018. I had been basically eating whatever I wanted but not overeating, mind you. Gluten, sugar, rice, and just general crap. My skin tells the tale of my treachery. I realized a couple months ago that when I do not eat gluten, my skin clears up without any help from steroid cream or medications. Patient heal thyself. I had the last yummers last week and I am going to slowly fight the carb and sugar cravings while I get back into low carb. Last night I had chicken cacciatore with mozz cheese over yam noodles. Today, I do not know what I am going to make. Something with hamburger probably. Maybe just actual burgers on the grill with a salad. No bun needed. Put an egg on top of the burger.

  That is about it for me this morning. I have to get moving. I have let moss grow on my butt too long. I have to keep myself busy. Have a great week and I will talk to you later!

MLK Day doings and goings

*236* <---weighed on scale at Vet office. 


   I do not know how long this post will be cause I am in some amount of pain this morning and sitting still is not an option. I blame it on over doing it this weekend and the weather. This too shall pass. Look at me! Three weeks in a row. I am getting some kind of blogger momentum going, huh?  I and the man have to leave here in a few so I will be semi brief..maybe. We shall see how fast my fingers can fly.

  I wanted to first share a recipe with you. Last night, Kid #2 made Indian Butter Chicken in the pressure cooker. I went to the co-op to get garam masala because we did not have any more.  OMG this was soooooo good. She used coconut milk instead of regular milk. There was the butter in there but it was not enough to hurt my stomach. I had this nestled over a bed of salad. Now, this is a Instant Pot/Pressure cooker recipe. But I bet you that you can figure out how to make it if you do not have a pressure cooker. If you like Indian food, this is one is a keeper. This website shows all types of Indian recipes. I think I may have to make a trip across the bridge to replenish our spice stocks at the local Raj cash and carry.  Soooo gooooddddd!

I said so good twice so that means something.

  The job hunt for me has been slow and not so slow. I have been putting in my cover letters and resumes to many many job listings. My job counselor has been doing the same. I have not heard a peep from any of them. She told me that this time of year is hard to get a job. And when jobs come up, hundreds of people apply. I guess I have to be patient. But it is hard. I know I am doing everything correct. I am working on my skills at home with the internets help. Just have to be patient and send out those positive vibes I guess. I just want a little office job. I just want someone to give this old lady a chance.

   I had a long conversation with some people in the AIP community. I found a place that is actually nice and helpful. I was told that I might have histamine intolerance. This might be the answer to my itching. And alot of my other issues. Even my low blood pressure. It was like a lightbulb clicked on in my head. Eureka! I have found my answer to my problems. It is a really sucky outcome but I can work with it if it is going to make me feel better. They said that when I take a zyrtec, and it helps, that is histamine. It is in the foods that I eat. Now I cannot possibly do Keto, AIP, and Histamine protocol. That would be ridiculous. I can eat low carb and work on the eating lower histamine foods. You treat all the histamine foods like you do with the AIP diet. You eliminate them all, you wait a couple weeks, and you reintroduce them one at a time. The ones that give you a reaction are out, the rest can stay back in.  I have to type something up and print it out so that I can stick it on the fridge. There are alot of no no foods for me at this time. But I am tired of feeling like shit all the time.

  I have not been completely keto either. I dont feel like a failure about it though. I just have to try every day to get it right. Yesterday was actually pretty good. Except for the 4 hershey kisses that I ate in the evening. When you have three other adults in the house, you cannot really dictate what foods come in. I am not a dictator. I just have to not eat those things. What I need to do is eat more fat during the day. Then I wont be apt to fuck up in the evening time. Today is a clean slate.

  Okay. I think that is all I can do for now. I have been sneezing up a storm the whole time I have been typing this. I hope to GAWD that coffee isnt a histamine food.....*looking*..... I do not see coffee on this list or the last three I scanned. Probably something else.  I heard that dealing with HI is a major pain in the ass and it is a life long struggle.
Again...I need to get going over here. I hope you all have a lovely and productive week. I am going to do some more sorting of the ebay pile behind me. We are up for some snow either Tuesday or Wednesday. Hopefully it is not alot because that foot of snow we had is all gone now from the warm up last week.
I will see you next Monday.

Is it time to shop for a tin can and sunglasses?

*225*

   I am late. I am bad and I havent posted. I should get in big trouble but I have been out doing stuff! If you look at my IG, you know. Let me start with some positives and update you on stuff.

  Lu is doing. She is still on her steroids. She takes them every other day for the next 10 days. Her heart is good. Today she was coughing a little but it is humid. We are all downstairs with the AC going so it feels good. She will always have issues with her faulty knees on back legs but she is much better then she was.

  The garden is going strong both at the community garden and the pots here at the house. I am leaving the buds alone on the tomatoes and peppers now because it is time. It is warm enough and they have all grown quite a bit. The strawberries gave us about 8 quarts this year. We were very happy with that. The blackberries are flowering now so we should start picking in July. I am afraid that the new people that run the community garden will over run the blackberry patch and ruin it. I will just go there early in the mornings and pick my quart like I have been doing for 6 years. If they tell me I am not allowed, I think this will be my last year at the garden. They have made it so that if you volunteer, you get perks. I am too sick to volunteer, but that doesn't matter I guess. I sprayed the crap out of some poison ivy this morning. There is not a huge amount but you cant leave that shit alone or it will spread like crazy.

I recorded this video down below on my iPhone. We were given permission. Enjoy!

   My friends and I went to a all male cabaret at the casino called Thunder Down Under. The tickets were bought in January so we were so waiting for this. I was worried about my head. I was worried that it would ruin the night. But it didnt. It was SUPER loud but I was able to endure. My prize was I got to touch a stripper`s butt. The girls were uber jelly. They just do not have the competitive streak that I do. I had a fun night and would totally do it again.

  I am still going strong with the keto/low carb. I did eat some carbs the night with the strippers. We went to the buffet and it wasn't a good one. So it will be a 2 week climb back up to ketosis. That is okay. I am never gonna beat myself up over what I eat from now on and I did have lots of fun.

  Today has been super humid so I have stayed on 1st floor. I have been loading Microsoft 10 on the lappy my friend gave me. I hope that fixes the problems. I have been cleaning up and doing stuff that I have been avoiding like cleaning honey from the lining of my Kate Spade bag. It is outside drying as I type.

  My gut still sucks. I had to stop in the middle of this to take a Zofran cause I am nauseated. It isnt really helping. The office is closed so I am basically assed out in that regard. I sent a sample out yesterday and they called bright and early to tell me I still have CDI. I have to go into the office next week. We will have to be more aggressive with this I reckon.

   I had a appt with my Ophthalmologist this Monday. He was checking my eyes for Papilledemia because of the IIH and I have been having issues with my vision. I basically cannot drive at night unless it is local. I get blurry out of the blue. And I was just freaked out that the IIH had gotten to my eyes even though my symptoms have been great. There is no paps. My eye pressure and veins look amazing. I do need to up my readers a smidge (150 for reading, 100 for the laptop) but I do not need glasses for distance at this time. This is where I was stumped.

Then what the hell is wrong??

He said my lenses in front of my Irises are yellow. My issues are because of cataracts. Fucking Cataracts!!! If you have been reading here for any length of time, you may remember that I talked about the optometrist telling me 3 years ago that I had teeny tiny itty bitty cataracts but they are not to worry about. Well, time to worry. My diabetes accelerated the growth of those fuckers. This is why I have trouble seeing in dim lights. This is why bright lights make my vision really bad. It seems the lens helps distribute light that enters your eye. A cataract is like having a dirty windshield. Hard for the light to come in so stuff is blurry or smoky.
He kept says *47 yrs old*.. Like he was amazed. Yeah bitch, I know. I am a special kind of fucked up. I just read that when you have the cataracts removed, it could accelerate glaucoma and retinopathy. Oh Joy! I always worried about losing a foot but just take my eye balls.
 Yeah, I am keeping those last tidbits to myself and for anybody that reads this. 

Aint that some fucked up shit? Do you believe me now? I got somebody throwing bad juju my way cause I wasnt a good enough friend. I am not depressed over this but I really want some potato chips. But I will not. I have to stick with the course. If THAT diagnosis wasnt enough to keep me from eating a starch, then I deserve all that I get.
He did say that I can wear yellow tinted glasses like the ones on tv, and I will be able to see at  night again. I have to wear sunglasses while I am out all the time too. Keep my sugar low and wear sunglasses and I might be able to slow it down.

Low Carb For Life!!

  I had to tweak my macros because I listened to stupid people that were telling me to eat more protein and less fat cause they know it all. If I eat too much protein, it converts to sugar and raises my blood sugar levels. I am going to stick with 20-25 grams of carbs, 65 grams of protein, and 120 grams of Fat..but that is just a top  number. I have never been able to eat that much fat in a day and I am trying to lose weight. Pay day is tomorrow. Kid #2 and I are gonna get sneakers for walking. Good and strong ones. On humid days like today, we will walk in the morning or at the Mall.

Summertime 2016

*229*

   I am laying out on the couch with the little dogs with the AC intermittently going and contemplating what is for dinner. I am thinking a stir fry of cut up pork chips with onion and red bell pepper. That is probably gonna be it. Easy peasy meal. 

  I have some really great news. I called my endo office yesterday to find out what dosage of Lantus insulin I should take at night. I stopped taking it for over a week to see what my numbers were. I would have a before bed number around 110. My morning number would be like 130-140. Those are not normal people numbers but they are good for me. He said I don't have to take it anymore. Stop taking the lantus!! I have changed my life by myself. This is huge news for me. I went from the prospect of just careening down hill two months ago with this type 2, to eat low carb and discontinuing one of my insulins. The other is humolog. I take that with meals. Barely take it with meals. So I basically use it on occasion. Like I might need a small dose cause of the veggies I will eat tonight. Best news of my life in recent times. 

  Lu is not doing so great. I think her heart meds are not working like they did. She is close to last resort because she is so small. I am keeping her comfy, full, and happy. When the time is right, I will take her in. I love her to bits and pieces and I will be heartbroken over her. But not everything lasts forever. This I know. She is on three meds for her heart. That is more then some people. I will enjoy her now while I have the time. 

  The garden is doing okay. There was an issue with the potted plants here at the house. The plants started to turn yellow. I added some Miracle Grow and they are perking back up. Our broccoli was a major dud. We found out that we put too many in the space. We will pull them out and plant some leafy lettuce. I also learned that right now is a good time to pull all the flowers off the pepper and tomato plants. They need more time to grow and flowering is not the time. I will get bigger plants if I do that. You learn something new every day. Our strawberries have been a big crop. We have harvested about 4 quarts so far and we still have fruit that isn't ready yet to pick. I am very happy this year with the progress.

   Since my Dr appt when I decided that low carb high fat would save me, I have lost 17lbs. My gastro appt is on Monday. I am hoping to drop another 3-4lbs so that I can at least show that I lost 20. I didn't make it to the 30lbs but he won't balk at the 20. He has been trying to get me off diabetes meds forever. My stomach is still iffy at times but not as bad as it was before. It doesn't have the carbs and sugar to feed off of. Except for a couple French fries in the beginning, I have stuck to my plan. I have had to tweak it here and there because I had stalled a little in weight loss and I figured out I was eating too much fat and not enough protein. Hubby has joined me also. He sees how the results are working for me and he wants some of that! Lmao

  I am going to be going to the beach at least once a week, maybe more. I am wearing sunscreen but not spf 5000. Part of my problem is not enough vitamin d, so I will try to fix that with some good old fashioned sun bathing. I won't be out there for hours but enough to get a bit of color, enjoy the day, and get in the water. The ocean was too cold today for swimming. It needs some warm days to get the water at a better temp. 

  

 We have been walking much more. It is starting to get warmer so I won't be able to do it when the temps reach the upper 80s to 90. I have to stay out of sun. 

That is about it here with me. I need to get off this couch now and start the dinner. The man will be off work in an hour. 

Have a great rest of your day!

Memorial Day 2016

*238*

  It is O'dark 30 here this morning. Downpours over my head woke me up. There is a tropical something passing by today. The garden will be very very happy. It sucks for any cookouts or parades but we here needed the rain. Crossing fingers the basement doesn't flood. Not in the mood.

  Today is a month on a low carb way of eating. Yay! I have lost the 7lbs I gained plus like 3 more so far. I stalled a little bit so I had to adjust my macros. When you eat this way, you eat low carb, moderate protein, and high fat. I was not eating enough fat and too much protein. I should start seeing a difference in the weight loss. The endo gave me permission to fiddle with my insulin. His assistant told me that if I kept my shots as they were, I would end up with low blood sugar reactions. So I got that going for me.  I feel a lot better. I am not always hungry and I have had some unintentional ketosis which is good. It was so hard to achieve the last time I tried. I am not trying this time but I am sure I am in fat burning. I don't have proof but I just can feel it. 

  C-diff sucks...the end. I am all done with the Dificid. But my gut still feels wrecked. I keep being told that I will overcome it. It will go away. Right now, I feel like I have no hope for that scenario. Some days I am okay, some days I have pain. I see the gastro in June and I am due for an upper endoscopy. They will see how my ulcers and esophagus are doing. I feel like the meds have helped with it. I don't get the searing pain anymore but pics will give us a clear idea.

  So far we have had one hiccup in the garden. The beds have a case of leaf miner. My Swiss chard had to go in the trash. I was able to replace with three types of eggplants and some Anaheim peppers. Leaf miner effects chard, spinach, and beets. A couple of us will try again in the fall. My butter lettuce at home is not doing well. But the ones at the garden are ready for harvest. I will bring the ones from home there and switch them out. I will post pictures when I go to harvest on Tuesday. My buckets of sugar snap peas and beans are growing so well also. I need to twist some twine around the cages to give them more stuff to grab and grow on. I planted three bleeding hearts this Spring and they are all growing nice. Except for the killed chard, it has been a good kick off to the season. 

  Lu is doing okay. The antibiotic helped her. Her gum infection is at bay and her cough is much better. We just have to dose her ever few months to beat the infection back. Perla the chichi has to go on Friday to the vet. She also has a tooth infection that needs some syrup. She absolutely hates it. It is like mostly alcohol so she fights me every time but for her it works good and longer, she took it like 6-7 months ago so it lasts longer.  Lu actually likes the *vodka*. She slurps it down out of the dropper. Little booze hound. 

  Yesterday night we went to Walmart and picked up the very last 10k btu air conditioner in the store. The price was right and we were very lucky to get it. We will drag it inside after the rain ends later and prop her in the window. I hope it doesn't kill the man's back. Lu and I cannot survive another summer without a swamp cooler. I tried to be all 1976 economical but my IIH demands cool air on some days. I have said we won't abuse it. If it is in the 70s, don't you dare turn it on. No sense and I will be pissed at the electric bill. So yeah, we did a adult thing and bought a big appliance. Feels good that the economy of the house has gotten a little better. 

  I am going to try to make something called Fathead Pizza this week. It is a low carb crust made from cheese. If it is good, I will share pics and the recipe. I miss pizza sooooo much. If I can find something satisfying to me, it will make me very happy. I tried the cauliflower crust and I just didn't like it. There are alternative flours i can use in baking. Here is coconut and almond flours. I have to make a trip to the store to get supplies. There is also a sweetener for baking called Swerve. I have never had it but it supposedly tastes just like sugar hut without the aftertaste of Stevia. We shall see.

  We don't have a grill, yet. So even if it wasn't raining, we wouldn't be cooking out. *insert sad face*. We only had air conditioner money. Maybe next month we will have enough to get a grill. It will happen before the 4th, hopefully.

So that is about it. My head is feeling the effects of the storm. I am gonna roll over and try to go back to sleep. It is 517am. I think I will just have to nap later instead. 

C-difficile. The gift that keeps on giving.

*239* according to my scale. *229* according to gastro`s scales (i tried both)

  I have C-diff again...ongoing but I have the dreaded runs. I am being put on the last bastion of meds to kill it. It is called Dificid. Thank goodness we reached our deductible. It is some expensive shit..no pun intended. I was at the ER last night because I was dehydrated and my pulse was a bit fast. I am better now in that regard. I have to push the water. And hope for the best. I am in pain but that is just the way life goes. It doesnt stop me completely.

  We sure are having a nice cold and slow Spring here. It is May 17 and  I wore a sweater for parts of the day. It is good for some of the colder plants. My lettuce and greens are growing nicely. This weekend is the plant sale and I am hoping for some tomato, pepper, and basil plants. If I can get some Japanese eggplant, that would be good also.

   I am on my 2nd week of low carb and I am doing fine. Kid #2 and I went for ice cream. It was diabetic friendly Butter Pecan. My sugar only rose slightly. I have a treat! A real treat that tastes bad but it is good. It is the little things.If I could find carb free chips, It would be IT!

   I am in pain from sitting so this is brief today. I will check to let you know if the meds worked.
Toodles!

Friday the 13th

*239*

   Wah Wahhhh on the computer.  There is something wrong with it. It doesnt have a virus or malware and  I deleted Adobe Flash. Still slow as constipation but it almost has full memory and such. That is as far as my abilities run. I have to get hold of our computer geek. He works 3rd shift so it will be interesting how we coordinate. It will get done though. So I am still using my mouse to paste the fucking letter n.
  
 For those that have read here for awhile, I have been battling my weight for more then the 6 yrs that I have been whining on here. This week I was placed with a dilemma. I had my 3 month diabetes checkup Monday. It wasnt good. I have to up my night time insulin by 5 units and my mealtime insulin by 6 units. THAT IS ALOT!  To jump from 20 to 25 is alot at least for me. He said that I am at a crossroads. I have to either really change my eating or enter a vicious cycle. The more insulin you take, the more weight you gain, and then you need more insulin. 
I choose life.  
  I have been eating low carb since Monday morning. I have walked 3 times this week with kid #2. I REFUSE to gain the weight back. I basically eat everything except wheat, bread, pasta, rice, beans, white potato, sweets, sugars, junk food, etc. Lots of veggies, eggs, meats, fats, and minimal fruits. I have to go look up the glycemic index to see what grains I could safely eat at all.
 I am staying on my old insulin doses for now. If I have stuck to this for a month, I will call the office to let my endo know what is going on. I post my blood sugar levels on IG as a accountability to show myself that I am sticking to it. I had gone up to 244 but as you can see, I am back on track. 
  My body is treating foods differently now and I have to control that or turn into a fat diabetic blob that is eating her Hershey bar.

  My dear friend`s, A, mother passed away this week also. So much death this year. She had end stage emphysema.Very sad end. A wants to be left alone. It is killing me cause I love her and I have a need to make her feel better.
 
I did plant and there are pics and videos on my IG. Please take a look if you would like. I have to get going here. It is Friday and I have stuffs to do. 

Autumn Love

Blooms on front porch

*249*

  That is not a Fall like picture. But to me it is. Those flowers were bought for next to nothing in July. They were sad. They were sparse. They looked like death. But I decided to give them a chance. I waited. I cared for them. It is almost October and look. They are beautiful. I dont even remember what they are called. I hope that I can bring one of the pots inside to live over the winter. That would make me happy. We shall see.

  Quick share. I found a low carb and keto friendly dessert option yesterday. It is from another site called I Breathe. I am Hungry. The recipe is Chocolate Brownie Mug! You can find a ton of low carb recipes on her site. Look!  I can have chocolate cake!! Even if you eat less carby, it is good for your gut. I have had a couple slip ups along the way but I keep jumping right back onto the keto plan. I eat less then 25 grams of net carbs a day. I am full from the fat that I add to my diet. I don't feel like I am starving.

    I have lost inches. I am down to size 18. Today I have to purchase a tape measure because I cant find mine anywhere.  Measuring gives you clarity on this because the scale lies. LOL I am actually positive. My stomach feels good. My whole gastro system is good..no TMI. My liver feels good. I am still itchy but I figured out from a friend, that it is most likely from my Fibro.  This keto way of eating is a good thing for me. My blood sugars have never been near normal for any length of time in a decade.  I am not able to exercise though.....

 Foot Dr xrayed both my feet. I have plantar fascitis syndrome with bone spurs. They are painful like before but last time it went away. This time I have to work harder to get it to get better. I have boots that I have to wear to bed. I have straps on my feet that put pressure on the Achilles tendon. Insurance wouldn't cover shoe inserts or orthotics. Orthotics cost $500 out of pocket. I will have to save up for that.  I will not be walking for exercise for awhile.  At least till I don't feel like I am walking on glass all the time.

That is about it for this week. I have apples and cucumbers to can this weekend. I want to go to the flea market in new haven tomorrow. And I am cooking chicken dinner for my friend, A, at her house on Sunday.

I hope you all have a great weekend