It is a gonna be a two coffee pod kinda day

This is Julien. Kid #1 calls him Bashir. Shout out if you get reference 

*236* <-----eating things I shouldnt it. Make it STAHP!

  It is 932am est and I have been up since 530ish am. We are in the midst of another Nor`easter here on the shore. They are saying we could get a foot of snow when it is all said and done. The snow was impressive earlier but no so much now. Unless we get some more banding going on, I think the thought of epic snowfall is a bust. We shall see.

   Again, I have missed too many weeks in a row and for that I am sorry. My past couple weeks have been very stressful. It always seems like shit storms comes in threes. I will break some of these things down, some I will not because I have to keep a little air of mystery about me. I will try to add a positive at the end of each thing because that is how I am trying to live my life. Except I have no postives to say about my computer life. First the iPad died. I cannot afford to replace it. Now I found out that this HP Stream that I bought for myself is a $200 piece of garbage. Windows 10 is too large for the gigs on this things so it has already out of memory (bought in January). I cannot update it at all. I cannot upgrade the memory because of the kind of memory it has. And you guessed it, I cannot afford to replace it. I still have the Chrome book as a back up when I can no longer use this one. No positives for this declaration at all. And we do not get refunds so a computer will not happen then. Oh well. Maybe the Apple Fairy will gift me. Probably not.

Can I get a discount card on Cat Litter?

  First up, you have probably seen the pictures of Julien on the IG feed. He has been Kid #2 and my secret this past month. This lady came into the office with her cat and the litter. The office was going to adopt one of the litter when they were ready because one of the vet cats passed away. All the girls (3 left) are very much older and they wanted to bring up a youngin while the girls were still around. Kid #2 asked me to come in and see the kittens cause they were so tiny. Julien is the runt. He had to be mine. We received him two weeks ago during the last storm. We also found out this week he contracted round worms from his mother (the whole litter did) but he had his first de-worming and he will be fine. He is a little spit fire. He leaps. He runs like the wind. Last week he weigh 1.86 lbs. He is too small to be so fearless but he is. It took about a week but everyone has adapted. I am now OFFICIALLY a crazy cat lady. I had no plan at all to get another cat. We had three. Dont need another. But it happened and we are happy. He is very lovey to everyone. He is black but he still has a bit of his fever coat. That will go away as the months go by.

 I am the IV queen

 Last week I had the upper endoscopy. Nothing impressive. No ulcers. I still have gastritis, esophagitis, and he noted my hiatal hernia. Biopsies were taken. I have not heard anything back so that tells me that all is well with that. But, the hernia is probably the reason I am having trouble swallowing. It can get it the point where it pushes up a little higher in your chest and can make you have difficulties. I am supposed to take care of my Acid reflux but I cannot take PPIs because of the Cdiff.  I will just deal with what I have gut wise. If the hernia ever gets too bad, I will have the surgery. But as for now, no no no.
  Yesterday, I had my Mammo and my boob MRI with contrast. That all went well too. Of course they cannot tell me anything. I have an appointment with the boob surgeon next week. Lets hope I hear NOTHING before that appointment. I want no phone calls about the scans. All is well and they found nothing.

 When one door closes, Another one opens

We found out that hubby`s last cleaning job was given to some other company. Nothing do with him or his performance. Just company restructuring. That left us with alot of money a month out of our budget. I lost it. Completely lost it. I remember my friend (and mechanic) said he had someone that had a cleaning company. Long story short, we will be making approximately 2/3rds back. Still money missing but not catastrophic. We can work with that and hopefully there will be more to come.
The paid internship fell through. They could not work around the rules of paying me so that fell apart. I had decided that I would never get my hopes up for a job again. Now I have a chance at maybe another paid internship with our local cable company. That is actually the first job I applied for and had not done so well on the phone interview. Not bad. Just inexperienced at it. Now I know how to do all that. The company actually does participate in internships so we shall see. They need workers. I need a job! Wish my ass luck cause I am really tired of applying for stuff.

Girl, you need to stop

Because of a bunch of stressful stuff, I have not been eating right. Bread. Noodles. Rice. Potato. Junk. Pizza! You name it, it is going down. I have to really do it now. My doctor is gonna raise my insulin at my appt in May. Now it is the middle of March and I have not lost a significant amount. I have a plan. I am going to slowly slack off from now until Saturday. Saturday I will be taking my first Methotrexate shot..did I tell you about this? let me look....I guess I havent. The rhemy changed my methotrexate from a pill to a shot so it does not effect my gut like the pill did. I had to wait till this cold was all over before I can take the first shot. So, Saturday will be the first shot and the first day back on LCHF fully. All the junk in the house will be gone/ I will have set myself up with good for me snacks and I will be ready to go. I have to lose at least 10 more pounds by the beginning of May. I will do this. I need to do this! As i eat a slice of leftover pizza for breakfast/lunch.
Crap! 49 days until May 1, 2018!

Housework sucks

  Since I am *snowbound* today, I am going to get some cleaning done. I have to change the hose on the sump pump (it sprung a few leaks). I have to water all the plants. I will do the plants after I finish up on here. They are priority. I have a few that cannot wait for Spring so that I can repot them. When you have a boisterous kitten, you realize how dusty your house is. Pulling stuff out and vacuum underneath is going to happen in the livingroom today. Has to be done. I will polish all the furniture in the there and I will be good till next week. Okay. I ate one small slice of pizza. I think I am going to throw the other two away. Not gonna eat them. Going...going...gone. I tossed it in the trash and smushed it in the trash. Not that I would ever ever never eat that now but I felt it needed that extra Fuck you for being there so that I would eat it.


Okay...it is really time for me to do some stuff. I hope all is well with you. Stay out of the snow if you can help it. And I will be back next week.

May 1, 2018

*238*


     103 days from today till May 1, 2018.

   That is how much time I have to lose at least 10lbs and lower my A1c to a normal level. I had been lollygagging about this for two months. I shake my head at myself. Yes, this is an unscheduled blog post. I had to talk about it to you to just get it out there in the universe.

  Since December, I did lose the 10lbs that I gained but I need to lose at LEAST 10lbs more. I will tell you why.  When I saw my Endo last time in December, we discussed how I had to change my eating seriously because of all the autoimmune stuff going on. He gave me till my next appointment to lose at least 10lbs and show a vast improvement in my blood sugars. He wants to be shocked. He even noted it in my file. If I did not show any improvement, I would have to agree to raising my insulin levels. Now. If anyone has been paying attention, if I raise my insulin levels, I will gain more weight for sure. At that appointment, I weight 250 something. Right now I weigh 236-237-238. I have lost 10lbs but my A1c will show I have still be eating shittily. Why am I talking about this now? I looked on the calendar yesterday and saw that I had my appt with him on February 12! That is not enough time to change more. So I called to change it. Unfortunately, they are a very popular office. They said I would have to wait till May 1st for my next appointment. I jumped at it! I am just prolonging my 3 month diabetes check. I go to them religiously. So for me to extend it beyond this time, is not a bad thing. If anything came up between now and then, they would bring me in on a sick check.

  This is my declaration to myself.  Girl, you need to do all that have learned. Now is the time. Get off your ass and DO IT!

1 Walk every morning with a few exceptions. Temps in the single digits, icy or snowing, big rain storms, and temps above 85 and humidity. The last ones I can walk at the Mall.

2. Eat 20g or less of carbohydrates a day. Eat high fat and moderate protein.

3. Take your supplements. All of them. Not just the Vit D and B-12.

4. Drink more water.

5. If I am hungry, eat more fat.

6. Stick with it. You quit smoking for Christ`s Sake. You can quit carbs and sugar!

I am also going to follow the Histamine protocol for my autoimmunes but I am not going to stress myself over it. I already know that wheat is a major issue. Since I have basically cut it out of my life except for a couple slips..my psoriasis has been clearing up.

Now. You may have seen the picture in my IG with me holding Keiko. I am able to wear a size 16 very well. Some of them are actually too loose. But I am not ready for size 14 yet. But I still look like a fatty mcbutter pants. That is because I am 5`4'. I am supposed to be in the lower 100s. We all know that will probably never happen. Plus, I would suffer greatly with all the excess skin. But I am not going to think about that right now.
I need to walk in the mornings because right now, that is where my energy lies. That window has passed today. The weather for tomorrow is mostly sunny the high will be 35 deg F but it will be colder in the morning. That is okay weather. Tomorrow I am going to put on my leggings and my sneakers and I am going to walk to 2 miles up the hill and around.

  I am going to be dealing with mega Keto Flu. We have Christmas chocolate that was bought at 75% off. I have to use all my resolve in life to stay away. STAY AWAY! I can do this. See, the more fat adapted you become, the less you want all that stuff you stopped eating. I just have to get over that hump....again.

  Time to get moving. I have to drive people places because I am the family chauffeur. and I have to decide what is for dinner. Something in the Gowise pot for sure. Just do not know what yet.  Have a good rest of your week and I will be back!

Kitten Life

*234* <---according to the scale at the Neuro

  That is Keiko aka Little Girl on my summer handbag. For the past three years, I pull out this lovely jute/wickery handbag with the leather straps for lugging all my crap in. I love it and I will use it till either the end of time or another fancy summer bag comes along. LG seems to think it is hers. She likes to chew on the jute. She is getting big. Her first vet appt, she weighed in a 3.3 lbs and she was 12 weeks old. She has another appt in two more weeks for her second shot and to see how big she has grown. The vet will be able to gauge when she should be fixed by how large she has gotten from the last visit. She is an eater for sure. We used to serve one can of wet with a bowl of dry food for the two boys. Now it is 2 cans of wet with the dry. She gets along with everybody for the most part. Milo has taken her under his wing. Oli is tolerating her ass but all is okay. She is a good addition to our crazy family. Cats outnumber dogs at this point.  I do not call her Keiko. Her name is Little Girl. LOL

   I am so thankful that the weather has broken and the humidity has lifted somewhat. I was having a really bad time of it with it. Really bad. My brain was just not able to deal with the squish of the humidity. Once it lifted, I felt so much better. I will just pray the summer away. We havent even been about to enjoy the beach...at all. I have not swam once this summer. And I bought a bathing suit and a beach pass. Dammit!  It has just been a very busy summer so far and we have not had the time to squeeze that in. I do have a nice Vitamin D tan going though. I have been out in the sun, with sunscreen while I worked in the garden or did a plethora of other shit. I am patiently waiting Fall. I will gladly pay for home heating oil instead of electricity for the ACs.

  I want to say that I had a discussion with the Hubs about this whole not spending money thing for a MONTH. He did actually listen. I talked to Kid #2 about it because she can be a bad influence too when it comes to spending. I have to have them in my corner otherwise this will never work. Look. Another month has gone by and I did not follow through. I know I spent less on groceries but as for actual spending on stuff that is not essential....I suck. So again, I will push for August to be the month. It has to be. Just one fucking Month girl. Just one to prove you can do it! ugh. It is like being on a diet..... Does anyone notice that not all scales are universal? You go one place and it says you weigh like 230. Then you go to another place and it says you weigh 240. That is very discouraging. Who do you believe? Do you take an average of all the places that you have been and is that your weight? I could see a 3-5 lb difference but 10 lbs is alot. Too much not to wonder.

Oh yeah, speaking of that. I have gone quite a few days on keto. I am not in ketosis yet but I will be. I found out this week that my gastro is moving out of state. He will stop seeing patients at the end of August. I have an appt on the 1st. I am very sad. He has helped me so much with my gut. Now I have to start all over again with somebody else. Hopefully he or my endo can point me in the direction of a Dr that I can use that I wont want to yell at.  Anyway..I am totally into keto flu and this is usually when I cave. I cannot cave. I must be strong! I must be able to get back on the keto horse. I have mapped out a plan. I have August through the end of December to lose 40lbs. That is my goal for the end of the year. I also need to stick to the plan because in November, I will be having bloodwork done and my cholesterol will be checked. I want to truly see if the keto makes a difference for me. It didnt make one before when I was fully into it. I want to make a difference now. I have been following the glycemic index to help me in choosing foods to eat.  Like I just figured out that Cherries are actually not a good choice for me and my diabetes. I put them back in the fridge and grabbed to squares of Dofino Havarti Cheese. These will make me feel full and wont raise my blood sugar.

  Ketogenic eating has become a sexy thing to do. It has become a fad. It bothers some but it really doesnt bother me that much. I look at it as an opportunity for companies to start making stuff geared towards us. That is a good things. As long as it is not a chemical shit storm. People think they can do this and drop a quick 20lbs. It doesnt work like that. This is a slow way of losing weight. But when your body drops some weight, it is a large amount at once. You could go 2 months and the scale doesnt move. Then one day you look at you dropped 12 lbs. This is a way of eating for life for some of us. It is not a diet. I just have to really be strong this time. I am gonna do it do it do it!

  August 7 I am having a radial scare removed from my left breast. It is a surgery but it is outpatient. I am glad it is a Monday cause Hubby has Mondays off. He can cater to my ass while I shake off the anesthesia. Radial scars are not cancer. But they can develop into cancer. And having them raises your risk of getting breast cancer in either breast. Since my girls are very dense, it is safer to take it out so that they can biopsy the whole thing. We want to make sure there is no cancer hiding behind it. I am not very nervous about it. It is a good thing. I will have a scar but my boob will look the same as it always did.  Crossing fingers and toes that they do not find anything.  If I did not say it before, my liver ultrasound came out great. They did not find the polyp that I had on my liver before. It is gone. Yay!

  I am dealing with keto flu really bad. I am just dragging along over here. I need to take a shower and get an outfit set up for my appt today. I go to the Urologist today to find out why I have pain. Then I have to pick up the car because it is being serviced. If you saw the pictures on IG, you saw the new car. We bought a 2006 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo. It is our beater car. The Nissan will probably not last the end of the year so we wanted to get while we could. See..I spent money on a vehicle. But we need it. We love the BMW but you cannot use that car for every day stuffs all the time.

 Fuck me! Keto Flu SUCKS SO BAD! I will be strong. I will prevail. I will not eat any potatoes and ruin my progress! NO! NO! NO!

  Okay. I need to get off this thing. Shower. Wash my body. Pick out a nice outfit. Go to the Doctor. Come home and decide on dinner. I think it will be of the sausage and onion variety. I also have some broccoli I can steam and smother in butter. Sounds like a plan. I also need to get ready cause August 1st is coming and I am NOT spending money. I swear to Gah...I am not doing it.

Have a good rest of your week.

Fourth of July 2017

*fat fat fat*

   Happy Fourth of July! I hope you have a nice, sunny, and safe holiday today. I hope you have the day off with pay. I am going to be cleaning today but when I get home, I will be re-arranging the living room and we will cook out on the grill. Everyone has the day off except for us having to clean for two hours. No biggie. It helps pay the bills.

   I have started the do no spend July but I did purchase something yesterday that we needed and we were lucky to get. Our living room had two couches that had to go. One had an actual hole in it from the cat. He dug himself a hidey hole. We had to get rid of these couches and I found a really nice custom leather couch with a matching chair for a steal. They even delivered them! So I have to re-arrange the living room today to make it more cohesive. The no spend is on like Donkey Kong but I had to throw that amendment to the rules. We HAD to get rid of those holed couches and if you look at my IG photos, you know why. ......back to the no spend thing in a minute.

  

Do I get to go to work with you?

  That is Kit Kat. Kid #2 and I had decided we did not like the name Kiki so we will call her Kit. Kid #1 will call her Kiki. Her official name on her paperwork at the vet will be Kit Kat. I have been talking for a couple months that I was ready for a new baby since Lu passed away. I had been searching everywhere but could not find anyone that had kittens. Then the kitten explosion happened and everyone wanted 100s of dollars for them. Like seriously? I understand you want a fee so the cat is not used for bait but it is not a Siamese. I lucked out. My friend let me know that one of the local animal controls had a litter. Kid #1 and I went. I wanted another boy because I like boy cats. But this little girl with the curls came home with us. I bought her collar with a bell so we will always know where she is until she is big enough to fend for herself. It took about a week but everyone in the animal kingdom has okay with her. She is full of piss and vinegar, I tell you. She is a true kitteh. I paid $50 for her. That came with a vax and spay certificate. So basically she was free, we rescued her from the pound, and she is a cute little shit. 

   Back to the spending and eating. Yes bitch. Yes! I am going to do it this time. The only bill I have that is not regular is the water bill and other then that, I am sticking to the budget. I have my notebook for receipts and notations. This week I am going to do an inventory of the pantry and freezers. See what I have and eat from them this month. Super glad for the Farmers Market because it is much cheaper then the store. I can do this.  I am also really really really needing to get back on track with keto. I know. I know. I have said this before. My gut has not been happy with my food choices. Not at all. Fuck. I am addicted to sugar and I am addicted to wheat. I act like potatoes are fine because they are just potatoes but they are not fine. They are one of the highest carbs and I am fooling myself into fat girl submission. I have gained weight. I am still in a size 16 but if I continue this trend, I will have to start wearing a size 18 and THAT IS NOT HAPPENING! 

  Of course I talk about this when today is a eating day and this weekend is Sailfest. Kid #2 said she would buy me lunch at Sailfest this weekend. I will get to eat a sausage with onions and peppers (no bun) but I will not break my budget. It is a win/win.  Today for foods I have hamburgers, hot dogs, and Italian sausages. I will be making tomato, cucumber, and red onion salad.  I have chips and dip (no girl). Watermelon and cherries. And I will probably make a small baked mac and cheese for the girls. And of course, always a tossed salad.  I have some ripe avocados that I will be eating too. Yum. I love a good house grill. 

  It wouldnt be my blog without a health thing to talk about. Amiright? 
  

  Soooo. I am having supposed bladder issues. There is pain. But not UTI type pain. I had a regular check up with my gastro. He said if the Urologist cannot figure it out, he will do a colonoscopy. I had made a yearly with my gyno and got in right away. I told him about my bladder issues plus the fact that I am going through perimenopause. He told me that I have fibroids but they wouldnt cause the kind of pain I am experiencing. Yada Yada Yada. Then I tell him about my breast saga. I had said that I was told that if I had a radial scar, it had to come out. But when my endo/gp looked at the results, he said I was fine. I said I love my GP but he is not a breast man. Could you look at the report? He said he would but everything is probably fine. I get a call from his office 2 hours later. I need to see a surgeon. Yup. I made an appt on the 18th with supposedly THE best breast surgeon around.  It will have to come out. Just great.  Oh...and I have to see the Urologist on the 12th. I will have to have that icky scope up my urethra so he can look to see what is going on. He will push pills for over active bladder and I will not take them. I do not want to take pharmaceuticals if I can help it. If it is very very necessary for life and limb, yes. Otherwise, I will deal.  I hate that scope. It feels awful. It feels exposing. I hate it! But I will do it because we have to know why it hurts. It is probably a kidney stone. That is my prediction. 

   What else? Hmmm. Hubs likes the new job. His pay is much less then what he was making before but it is a job and that is ok. He has alot of guy time, he gets to leave in the company truck to make drop offs, he is busy the entire time, and he is sleeping like a stone. I have an appointment with BRS this week. They had me take a test to see what type of jobs I am suited for. I am guessing I will start with help with resume. Help with interviewing. And then finding a job suited to my physical abilities. That is why we will be okay. I will find a nice little job to make up the difference. I am glad I am going to give it a try. He is still going to look for another job though. He does deserve more money. At least $1-2 more. We shall see.
  

   I think our garden is toast. I have not been in a few days. It did rain two days ago but we have been so busy we have not been back. I am afraid that it will be a wilted mess. I hope not. I have some nice tomato plants there. I wish I could have beds here at the house. We just do not have enough sun for that. There are trees in the neighbors yards (front and on the side) that still shade us. The plants will not get a full 5-6 hours of sun a day. It bums me out. I am glad I have the community beds but at the same time, I do not like having to drive two miles away to water and weed. It is a pain in the ass. Especially for someone like me who has issues with body pain.  I am saying it now (and I might change my mind) that this will be my last year at the garden. As much as I love to do it, I will just do containers here at the house and work on boosting flowers instead. Plus..two of our beds are infested with ants. I have tried three times so far to get rid of them but to no avail. It is pissing me off.

  Okay..I think that is about it. I am still in my jammies. I have to get up, take meds, get dressed, and move it. I have a great one. I will be back to give a full report on the Piss Doc and the Boob Surgeon.

TTFN

June 1st Equals New Beginnings

*233* <---I checked at PT yesterday. This is good! I lost 6lbs!


  I have a headache. So I do not know how long this post will be. I am going to consume some Tylenol and hope that it goes away. I am toasting some low carb bread and I will spread some plant based cheeze on it. I didn't eat much last night cause I just wasn't feeling it.

  Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit! Happy June 1st to you all. Summer is basically here in my mind. It is still too cool here in my neck of the woods but the sun is out today. Just today though. More rain to come this week. Yuck. I really need to go to the community garden today on my travels and pick some radishes. I have to remember to grab my tomato cages for there also. We have radishes, lettuce, four types of tomatoes, basil, cayenne peppers, and strawberries. When the lettuce and radish is over, we will plant some bell peppers in their place.

Okay, I also made a bowl of salad greens with a cut up hard boiled egg, a slice of cheddar cheese, red wine vinegar with salt and pepper. Well rounded with the cheese toast. My headache is subsiding a little bit. *eating*
Ahhh. Feel much better. Okay..

   Today starts the first official day of No Spend June. I have a notebook set up where I will calculate how much I spend on groceries and any bills that come up that are not in the normal realm of the budget. I had to pay a small hospital bill and Hubs had to pay his $50 portion to go to a family cookout. The girls and I are not going because we cannot afford to pay for everyone. Plus we have other stuffs going on. I did go out and buy a case of water. That is going to stop me from going out and buying drinks. Baby steps with some things just yet. I did buy a insulated coffee cup for me and the hubs so we can bring coffee with us when we go out.  I am really going to stick with this. If I cannot do this for an entire month, there is something wrong with me. Even if a deal is so outrageously good, I am not doing it. I had a lottery scratch off ticket that was a $3 winner. I cashed it in and took the money. I would have easily just bought another ticket. Nope. That is an extra $3 in the budget. I will do some sort of tally at the end of each week so like on Sundays. I have five weeks this month so this is going to be interesting.

  Today also starts getting back into keto full time. I am going to really fight the carby cravings and the keto flu for the next week. I will not cave! I fit into 80% of my summer shorts from last year. There are a couple that need me to lose about 5 more lbs or so. I have a couple shirts that I wore that I will not wear yet because I really need to lose the spare tire again. She is more like a bike tire now but it is still there and no no no.  The saving money and the keto eating work two fold also. I need to spend a day going through the pantry, fridge, and both freezers. Throw anything away that needs to go cause it is old, make a list of what I have, and then we can go from there when we go shopping. I am not going to do a whole month shopping at once because our house isnt that big. I plan on doing a every two week big shopping and once a week perishable shopping. Dairy, eggs, veggies. And I will always stick to my list because I have to.

Okay. I can do this! I have to decide what is for dinner. I do have some tilapia that I could bake. I have some asparagus too. That would be a nice dinner. Lemon fish with greens and asparagus. Add some fat in there like butter galore. Mmmm

I gotta go now. The kid needs a ride to work. Have a good week and I wish me luck!

Memorial Day 2017

*237...maybe and hot flashes suck!*

   I hope you are having a solemn and sunny Memorial Day today. It has been raining since pretty early this morning. I think cooking on the grill is a no today for us. Many of the local parades have been cancelled also.  I can cook inside the house but I was so looking forward to charred sausages. At least we wont have to hear any fireworks tonight from the neighbors. Crossing fingers.

   June 1st is the start of an experiment for us as a family. I am going to try to do a No Spend Month. We will pay bills, scripts, necessities, and groceries. We are going to eat out of the freezers and the cabinets also. There is alot of food in there that needs to see the light of day. I will shop for things like perishables but we will extremely limit what we buy at the grocery store this month. I bought my monthly order of low carb bread for Hubs and I. I was going to buy a couple other things but I deleted from the list. Bread is all we really need and bread is all we are going to get. I love the low carb bread by the way. OMG! You can find it on Netrition.com and it is called Great Low Carb Bread Company.   Yes, it is 7.99 a loaf. But the slices are thin and you keep the bread in the freezer to make it last. I bought one loaf of Everything bread. It lasted almost a month. And we were very conservative with it. I bought 3 loaves this time. They will probably last us about two months total. Really good if you are diabetic and want to eat bread again.
  Anyway. I am going to make a list in my notebook of all the necessities I buy for the month of June. If it is not something we need, I am not buying it. I have a packed pantry that needs to be organized so we can actually see what we have to use for meals. I bought two big bags of charcoal on sale so that will last us too. I want this house to be worked on and it will not happen if we are constantly buying take out. Enough!

  The kid and I planted peppers, tomatoes, and basil yesterday. It has been a slow start to the growing season but it will pick up as it gets warmer. She pulled some nice big radishes and they were super spicy the way I like it. We have many strawberries that are tiny and white. They will be a lovely treat in a couple weeks. I do have some strawberries in the fridge that I need to cut up and freeze. I always have something that has to be done. Ugh. Since it is raining, I will probably do burgers and sausages in the house. I have some curly fries for the girls. Hubs and I can have some baked cauliflower that I found online. I will use almond flour in place of the bread crumbs. I have not bought the low carb bread crumbs yet.

   I have been doing well without taking the steroid of my gut. If I stay away from dairy and wheat, my colon is a good girl. It doesnt get all upset by my food choices. I do have to give up alot but I would rather just eat right instead of taking a pill that will make me blow up like a balloon. I am doing good this past week. I still am dealing with the pain from my whiplash but if I ignore that shit, all is okay. I am surprised I am not dealing with fibro flare. The weather has been so iffy lately. We have not had steady warmth yet. It is coming. Just not today.

  I am procrasting while I post this. I have dishes waiting for me and I have a pile of clothes to put away. I put half away yesterday so the other half is screaming for recognition. I am putting away winter and pulling out summer. I am also tossing anything I did not wear. They will go in the donation bins. I have to make room for others that I might find for free or really cheap...just not in June. So yeah..i could really just take a nap at this point cause the weather calls for it.  I will do a weekly tally of what I spent of food, any times I said no and what it was for, and if I mess up..I will say so. I think I will finish the dishes and take a nap with the dogs.
Yeah.
Take
A
Nap
!

Life can be a bowl of cherries

*2??* <---ignoring for now

  Hey there. How are you doing? I have been up to so much stuff lately that I completely forgot about last week. I am not going to look back at what I posted the last time. I am just gonna move on with my life and if I forgot to share something, you can always leave a comment..or not.

  Today was a good day. I had my 2nd appointment with Bureau of Rehabilitation Services. I was accepted to be in the program. They are going to help me find meaningful work. Real work. Like career shit. I will get help with a resume, interview coaching, looking for work in what I want and what I am able to do, coaching on the job, and all kinds of stuff. This is a major big deal for me. They are going to help advertise me to places so that I have a better chance of getting a good job. I have to do some assessment tests this week that I bring in next week and then do some more. This will not be super fast but it will move along at a good pace and they will stick with me until I am ready to fly. Very happy.

  If it rains one more day, I will officially become a mushroom farmer. We have had more rain than sun the past couple weeks. And it has been so cold here. Like I had to throw another quilt on the bed and close all the windows. Hopefully they are correct that it will be in the 70s mid week. My lettuce is not growing very fast because of the lack of sunshine.  It has to warm up before I plant the peppers and tomatoes too. They will have issues if I buy them now.  I do have all my annuals out now. They will have to sink or swim because I love to have those punches of color.  There are impatients in the hanging cones and a mixer of different annuals in the hangers in the yard. We had a bit of wind on MD and one of my new Pinwheels died. I brought them all in. Once they have dried out, I will woodglue them all so they are sturdy. That is what I had to do with the last batch I bought a couple years ago.

  Health wise, I am doing ok. The lump left over from the breast biopsy is still there. It doesnt hurt like it did but it unnerves me that it is still there. I figured it would have shrunk by now. I will tell the Dr if it is still there in June. I had to go back to the dentist this past week for a cracked filling. Thankfully it was one that had been filled recently so there was no charge for that. So instead I had them make molds for me to get dental guards for my grinding at night. The one that you get at the pharmacy is okay but it is not as good as the real deal ones that you have made for your mouth. I want to save my teeth from the damage that I am causing and this is one of the culprits.

 The other culprit has been my eating. Look. I have been talking so much as to how I have to get back to eating right because I gained 10 (really 13) lbs. This morning, I had a lightbulb moment. I started this way of eating because of what happened in the Doctors office last year on a particular day. He upped my night time and day time insulin. He told me that I was at a medical cross roads. I will gain weight with the increase of my insulin. Then he will have to increase it again because I gained weight. I do not want to die before I am 50 because I chose Lay`s potato chips over life.  But I have some adjustments that I had to make to this for my own well being. It will not be high fat. It will be moderate fat. Low carb, moderate fat, moderate protein.  I will not do cheat days but if once in awhile, something comes up that I want to eat, I will. Like tonight I will have strawberries with whipped cream.  With keto there would have been no strawberries allowed. So I am not doing keto. I am just doing low carb with the option to buy. Low insulin numbers! That is what we are striving for. No more ruining our good name in our diabetic meter because we wanted a candy bar! We can eat a Quest bar instead!

  What else? I had a really good Mother`s Day. Kid #1 acknowledged me. Kid #2 cleaned the house and helped Hubs cook dinner. I got Lush products and flowers. I did do some stuff but that is how I am but afterward I laid around and watched Simon and Martina on Youtube. They are funnier than all get out. But I warn you. Once you get sucked in, do not blame me for the wasted hours of funny food porn. Can you believe it though?? After all of those years of sucky MDs..I finally got a good one? Makes me extra happy about that.

Okay..I am going to go. I have to go pick up #2 at work and dinner will be done soon. I hope you have a wonderful week ahead with lots of sunshine and no ants!

Mercury in Retrograde Bitches

*230* <---Fuck You!

  May 1st! Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit to you all. Today marks the exact day last year that Hubs and I went full throttle with the new way of eating. I have been pecking at it the past couple weeks but today is full on. 25 grams or less of carbs a day. Post everything on MyFitnessPal to keep an eye on my numbers. I will struggle but I am dealing with Retrograde so it is what it is.

   Okay, I left because I had a shit ton of errands to do today. I started this at lunch time and now it is almost 6pm. Workman`s comp stuff, copying stuff, going to my lawyer`s office for stuff, getting a cold brew because I deserve it and supplies for the sick #2. She seems to have caught a Springtime head cold. Which sucks because she has an ultrasound to do on Wednesday. She isn't coughing so maybe she will be able to do it. She is also having 3 wisdom teeth taken out on Friday. Oy!  I have been busy with preparations.

    Retrograde has made me such a mess this time around. At least the tail end of it has. I have been not a very nice person and very emotional. Super duper not nice. Today has been better. It ends in 3 more days so it must be taking it`s clutches off of me. Mean. Weepy. Suspicious. Eating anything and everything. I blame that part also on the stupid steroids. I took the steroid for my colitis for a week. I ate an entire family sized bag of Lay`s and the next day a half a bag of Doritos. Those pills had to go. I am staying away from dairy except for the little bits of butter that I can tolerate. And I am staying away from all grains that have gluten. Those things (among others) gives me great issues. Like I may shit myself in public issues. I do not want that. Plus, I gained weight. I am not here on this Earth to go backward. I refuse! Only forward. And forward is smaller underwear sizes.

  Today I planted some impatients in the cone baskets on the porch. I was ready to dig in the dirt! I also have enough cactus dirt to repot all my special in house babies. I have to just get a time to do it. Some of them really need to be put in bigger pots with fresh digs. It has still been too cold to really get into gardening. Like really cold. Like not May at all. But I will enjoy it because it will get hot eventually and I will hate every moment of it. Especially now that I am dealing with old lady days.

  I am sorry that this is just not a good post. I am exhausted from all the running around and I still have to get dinner going. We are having chicken enchilada soup. I have to start some rice in the cooker for the girls. The man and I will eat it without any carbs in it.  Again, I left you to fold some laundry and water my jade and aloe plants. This Monday was not a good one for posting but I havent posted in a bit so I am throwing this bone out there.

  I am here. I am eating low carb high fat. I am going to stick with it because today is the anniversary day of last year and it has symbolism to me. I wont wreck that. I intend to lose the 10ish lbs I have gained and try to lose another 40 over the next few months. That would be a nifty thing to happen. I am going to make it so.

Have a great week and I will be back around next Sunday.

March Bleezard 2017

Picture courtesy of Southern Connecticut Weather on FB

*22-something* <---I have been eating better but I haven't weighed so I have no idea

    Fucking Blizzard! Are you kidding me? I am not in the mood for 18 inches of anything right now. Because of there we are on the map, we will get dumped on. Like 20 inches locally they are saying. Not in the Mood, I tell ya. We did find some rock salt at the last place we called. We have a bucket on the porch that is always full. It is down to the dregs and that would have not been enough to satisfy me for this storm. We have food and flash lights and kerosene just in case. I am going to go to the store super early so that I can pick up foods for cooking. We are going to do a roasted butternut squash soup. Part in the oven, the other half in the crockpot. We will roast a big chicken with potatoes and carrots. Also mashed cauliflower. I will pick up some raw veggies and dip and we need a couple boxes of tea for when it is blowing cold and we want to sip while we look out the window.

   Of course the new furnace is acting up just before a storm. We have four zones. The zone to the first floor is not clicking on. We do have the basement zone though so the heat can rise up to warm us up. It just sucks. I texted the furnace dude to see if he can come around tomorrow before the storm, if he is available. It is much warmer up here now. i went down there, turned up the heat, pulled stuff away from the registers, and did some laundry while I waited. I came upstairs after about 15 minutes and it is not as cold as it was. I was wondering why it was so fucking cold when the heat was on, the furnace was kicking on, and we have oil. It seems we have more trouble with the new furnace then we do when we had the 30 yr old one. Isnt that always the way?

 Our new fridge came on Friday. We did have some snow earlier in the day but it never stuck to the pavement so the drivers were able to bring her. She is a Frigidaire Gallery Stainless Steel baby. We went with a local appliance place so we did not pay as much as Home Depot was charging. She is beautiful and she purrs like a kitten, sort of.  They took away the old one and I am happy. The old one did us justice but she was freezing stuff in the fridge. I had tried to fix that by unplugging the fridge to see if a line had frozen. It would work for a little while but then it would freeze up again. It was time. We have the money to buy it so I just pulled the plug. Surprisingly, the floor underneath was not that horrid. Lots of bottle caps from the cat but it didn't make me want to run screaming from the room.

  My stretches and not using more then one pillow has helped alot with my arm falling asleep and hurting. I am not saying it is 100% cause that would just jinx it but it feels damn close. Getting rid of the high pillow for a flatter one has helped the Hubs too. If you suffer from neck pain, think about going to just one flat pillow. You will be surprised at how you feel. I also have to say that I am liking the new electric toothbrush. It is making my teeth nice and sparkly. I have to also keep my blood sugars down more. I am eating less crap but I have not cut out completely. It is like I lose my mind when I am hungry. I really need to just eat more fat. Eat more fat. Eat more fat! EAT MORE FAT! Ugh. I think the stresses of life are part of the reason I cannot fully commit to LCHF at this time. But I have to do it. I have to. I dont want to lose my teeth. I do not want to lose my eyesight. I just have to be stronger. It sounds insane and unhealthy to some but I have to really analyze every mouthful for awhile. If I do not eat enough fat, I will fall off the wagon. I will hard boil some eggs and fat bombs tomorrow.

  Otherwise my health is good. I feel okay. I am moving along in my life. I have been walking more. I can do a mile in 25 minutes. As it gets warmer, we will want to add on and do two miles. I will map it out online. If you have not seen it before, I have used Walk Jog Run for that. You can map out walks in your town and know how far it is. They even do stuff like the grade of the walk as to how many calories you are burning. It is pretty cool. The mile was easy. Two miles will be a little harder. We shall see how far we can get by the Fall. I want to go slow so I dont kill my feet. I need to buy some inserts for my sneakers too. Just to be on the safe side. I am really trying to get myself into better shape so that I can live a bit longer on this Earth. Plus I get to spend time with the kid and she gets healthy too.

  That is about it. I have no gardening stuff to talk about because of the snow. I am doing more decluttering but nothing amazing. A book here or there. A knic knac or two. They all go to donations and hopefully happy homes. I am done with the clutter. I dont want my family to have to figure out how to get rid of all my shit. So I will do it for them. It is my gift to them. Hopefully I will have more garden and plant talk next Sunday or Monday.  Have a great week and if you are gonna have some snow, I hope you are safe!

Teeth Scraping and a Change of Heart

*228*

OMG! Two posts in a row must be some kind of record!

  This morning at 8am, I had my tooth cleaning. It was agony and a blood bath as per usual. I also found out that my periodontal disease has gotten worse!  I had done so good last year with eating correctly and I had healed some of my gum/teeth issues. If you have periodontal disease, then you know what I mean. Lots of 4s and 5s in that count today. I am not a happy camper. I bit the bullet and purchased a Sonicare brush. It will help immensely with helping save my teeth. I am going to have either no dental or limited dental insurance for I dont know how long. This morning was the wake up call that I needed.

  Eat low carb high fat. Save your teeth and the bones that hold them in your face! Diabetes is a helluva drug, I tell you. I am also ruining my eyesight with the cataracts by not following this way of eating.  Seriously though, I have cried wolf on this before the last couple months. Waaa! I cannot stick to the lchf WOE. Waaa! I gained 8 lbs! Well, bitch, you are ruining yourself on the inside. You will look like a broke bitch with no teeth if you keep this shit up!

 I bought the pink one, of course. She cost me $150. I think I will pay the price to save my teeth from mass destruction. I will use her tonight after my gums heal from the catastrophe of this morning.  It is a Sonicare DiamondClean Professional Series. It has bells and whistles. I will use it and let you all know how it goes.

  Yeah, I think this morning was a revelation. She was counting my teeth and shooting out numbers for the assistant to write down. There were hardly any 1s 2s or 3s like 6 months ago. In 4 months, I am right back where I started with my teeth. Keeping the blood sugars in check are one of my major arsenals in living a relatively good life in one piece. With Periodontal Disease, you have bone loss under your teeth. That bone is what holds you teeth in your face. I do not have any wiggle but if you can wiggle your teeth, that is a bad sign. I have been wearing a night guard for about 2 years now. I used to have the kind the dentist makes for you, but Ruby got hold of it when she was a puppy. $200 down the drain. I was able to find a good one in the pharmacy. It is called Dentek mouth guards. I use the full guard for max protection. You use hot water to mold it. I have had this same one for over a year. Saves your teeth immensely.  I am a major grinder of my teeth. This stopped it cold. It does take a couple nights to get used to it, but once you have used it on a regular basis, you cannot sleep without it. There is no more tooth shift when you wake up on the morning.

  So.  I am most definitely back to eating Keto/banting/lchf. No more cheating. No more french fries cause they are only a potato. No more sugar. No more allowing myself to be lead to eat those things. I am done. My first goal is to get back down to 219. After I reach that goal, I will decide what else I am going to do.
Oh yeah. I forgot. I started this supplement by Now called Gymnena Sylvestre. It is used by diabetics to help with metabolism and keeping blood sugars in check. I was going to see if it works. People use it to block sugar but I doubt that actually works. I want to see if it helps with pancreas function. If it doesnt work for me, it is probably cause my pancreas cells are basically wiped out and I will be on the needle till I know longer walk this Earth. That sounded grim. Dont take it that way. That is the way I talk. I will discuss the supplement at a later time. I started it this week so too early to tell.

   I got some Oracle cards this past weekend.  They are my first set. They called to me actually. I went into the local shop to see if they had any bronzite (nobody does!), and I poked around and this one caught my eye. It is very accurate with me so I guess we chose each other well. I do not know if I am going to do this for anyone else, or just do it for me. I have to familiarize myself with how to read cards and the spread. I like doing it for myself because it helps give me some guidance in really big things I have to think about. I purchased well.

  After that scraping and my big breakfast/lunch, I am definitely ready for a nap of some type. I woke up super early and it is just gloomy outside. I have some major cleaning to do but I think I will rest up first before I do that.
Have a good rest of your week. Let`s hope for NO SNOW!

 

Cheeto Cravings

*228* <---I weighed this past weekend. I still have some weight to go.

  I ate a half a bag of Cheetos. I had a stress filled day of doing stuff and I caved. But I dont feel badly. I only ate half. I could have devoured the entire bag. Oh. I ate a donut too.
 This is going to be a short post because it is 815pm, I have to change my clothes, wash up, and go to bed early. I have a 8am dentist appt cleaning. I HATE getting my tartar scraped. It is right up there with migraines. Dont like it. Dont want it. But I will do it. We have insurance until the end of April. We are cramming in all we can before it is gone and we have to go on State (until one of us gets a job with benefits).

  We ran around today and got stuff done. Made appointments for all at the dentist, Kid #2 for the eye doctor and primary. Drove hither and yon to get it all done. Dropped the nissan off at the mechanic to have her worked over. She needs all four of her shocks replaced. She is also going to get two new tires. We are getting stuff done that has to be done so that we do not have to worry about it.

  I have been paying all the bills down to 0. I have not had a 0 balance on anything in years. It feels good. It feels adult. Look at Me! I am adulting. It takes a tragedy of job loss to get me to do the right thing. LMAO Not really . We just have the cash on hand to get all these things accomplished. We are going to have all the plugs replaced this week on the 1st floor and I am going to start painting the living room. I promised myself, I would not pick a color for the kitchen until the livingroom is done. It has to be done. It has waited to fucking long. I did the trim before the winter so now it is time to paint the walls. I have been doing alot of decluttering. Every week, I pick a few things and donate them or toss them. Some things do not deserve to have another owner. It feels good to purge. And I have been good to not add to the herd.

   It is cold. It is cold. It might snow on Sunday (BOO!) and I am dry and itchy. Other then the complaint side of that and the bloat from the Cheetos, I am doing ok. I know I said I am sticking to the LCHF and for the most part I kind of am.  I do not want to gain weight. I am bargaining with myself. I think I need to send out my intentions to my higher power to help me be stronger when it comes to my food choices. Junk is the enemy. I have to stop. I feel good when I eat whole foods. I dont want to feel like garbage. But I keep falling back into it when I have a stressful day, like today. Or I have others trying to influence me. I should not completely blame them for my choices because again....I am an adult. But you all know what I mean. I need to be stronger!

  I have not heard from the job for an interview but that is because the hiring person was on vacation last week. I have faith that I will hear something. If I do not hear from them, I will look for something else that is comparable. But I have a good feeling. I feel like I could get an real life in person interview. We shall see.

Okay. yeah. I am bloated from the Cheetos. I need to go stretch out and bitch at myself for my poor choices. At least my dinner was compliant. Baked chicken, steamed broccoli with cheese, and a big salad.

Gonna go now. If anything fun happens this week, I will add an extra posting.

Keep warm!

Fat Tuesday Gorgefest. Not Really

*228* <---I lost 3 lbs so far!

  The sad assed eat-a-thon is over for me. I am going to use Lent (and today and yesterday) as my jumping off point back into full keto. I even made a declaration on IG. I want to see if I can lose another 50lbs by October. That is how much I lost the first go around. I lost my way but I am back on track. I am not looking at it as a failure if I do not lose another 50lbs by the Fall, but I have had better lost something. At least 20-30lbs! I have goals!

Yesterday I went to the pharmacy to fix the mess that is our insurance. I talked to the pharmacist about my gut issues. I bought a bottle of pancreatic enyzmes to help aid in my digestion because I do not have a gallbladder. You take a pill with meals. We shall see. I just started it today. He also bestowed the virtues of peppermint oil. If you ingest small amounts (i dip a toothpick in the bottle and stir it in my coffee) it helps with spasms, gerd, ibs, and contractions of my colon. I started it yesterday so I cannot say anything yet but I will come back to it at a latter date to give a full report. It helps with alot of things especially appetite suppression. Supposedly if you take a few sniffs or put a dot under your nose, it helps you from being hungry or gorgy. I will definitely need that in the coming weeks cause that is why I have failed to get back on the wagon with Keto.

 We have insurance until the end of April. It has been a bit of a hassle getting stuff kick started but Hubs talked to somebody yesterday, I sent out a check (we pay what he paid as employee) and it will be turned on soon. This is why I am thankful that we cashed in the money. If we had not, we would be up shits creek. I have made some appointments coming up for mid March. I still have to have the MRI on my neck to make sure if all is ok. Part of me just doesnt want to know. I wont have real insurance to have it taken care of so why bother. Hospitals and Doctors treat you differently when you are on State Medical. This is another reason why we are going to get back to eating keto and losing more weight. The weight loss will help with the health aspect and keep us out of the doctors office.

     We have not had stuff done around the house yet. I want to hold off at first. We are going to have Venus in retrograde for the first 2 weeks of March and it is NOT a good time to have work done or make major purchases.  This I just learned and I am going to follow that advice. We have a few things that we want to do around the house that are necessary like fix the fascia around the border, find out about new gutters, get the house painted in the Fall, etc. And I dont want anything to happen to fuck that up. Waiting a couple weeks wont be a tragedy. I already talked to a friend about the garden beds in front of the house. She is gonna crunch some numbers. I do not want to spend alot but I am not gonna be cheap either. Mid range is the way to go. If they are up before the summer, I will be happy!

  I did not hear from the place that I put in my resume. But I went in to pay the bill yesterday. The lady at the front told me the hiring manager is on vacation and will be back next week. That is why there was no call! She said that when they are hiring, they like to have both the manager and the supervisor in on the interview. Her face told me not to worry, I would get a call. Oh my word, how am I going to deal with two people asking me questions?? I am going to have to just be cool, be myself, it is okay, and ask my higher power to help me with this aspect of my life. I need this. I feel it is a perfect fit for me. I have done it before. I am healthier now then I was back then. I can contribute to our lives with medical benefits. The money is not great but it will get better with time.

   Today is Fat Tuesday. It is the last day to gorge yourself before the 40 days of Lent march on until Easter. I am a Catholic by trade so I know these things. I guess eat sugar free Twizzlers for dessert last night would be considered a bit of a gorge? I dont know. Hubby and I made THE best keto stuffed peppers. I dont even have a website recipe. We just made it up.

Heidi`s Keto Stuffed Bell Peppers
-Four Red Bell Peppers, tops cut off, dig out the seeds. You are going to want to steam them for about 10 minutes to get them a bit soft but not too soft. Stand them up in small baking dish.
-One and half cups of riced cauliflower. You can get this in the produce section. It has a steam bag for the microwave.
-Half a yellow onion, minced and sauteed
-3 cloves of garlic, minced and sauteed
-1 package of Hatfield loose Italian pork sausage and 1 package of Hatfield loose chorizo sausage, sauteed till brown
-Pasta sauce of your choice, either home made or from the jar.
 Mix the meat, riced cauliflower, cup of sauce, onions, garlic, salt, black pepper, basil, and garlic powder. Fill each pepper with the mixture. Top with Mozzarella cheese. Pour remainder of the sauce in the bottom of the baking dish. Cook in a 350 deg F oven for 30 minutes. We went to 45 because we like it to have a little brown on the cheese.
I do not have nutritional information cause I just made this up but if you wanted to know, you could look up the ingredients on MyFitnessPal. This dish makes four servings. It was really good. I was saying Yumm as I ate it. That will be made again.

  Oh! I bought myself a pair of sneakers! Real Nike Sneakers. I tried them on and I like them. They are hard soled but have squishing bottoms. You feel like you are walking on air. Since Meteorological Spring is here tomorrow, my ass it going to start walking again. Up the street, around, and down the street. Gotta take care of the ass jiggles. My legs are so cottage cheesy from losing weight. I know that it wont all go away because of my lack of collagen but I could try to tone a little bit. I also know that moving my booty will help with the arthritis in my hips and back. It is not bad yet but if I do not move my ass, it will be.

That is about it. There is nothing spectacular going on this week really. Just paperwork and ideas of things to come. As it gets warmer, I will have better stuff to show and talk about. I hope you all have a great last day of February. Get out and enjoy something yummy! Let`s hope NO MORE SNOW!

Namaste.

I am not talking politics..today

*223* <----I could be. I could be not. Whose to know?

  First off, I am not gonna talk politics on here. If something horrifically horrifically worse then what is going on happens. Say eminent nuclear destruction, assassinations, or national famine..I am keeping my opinions to myself. There is enough bad energy swirling around. We do not need me adding to it.

   Yesterday was the Hubs birthday. 51 is a very good year. He was feeling under the weather though. This weather takes a toll on you sometimes. Kid #2 and I shopped and cooked a big dinner. We treated it like a holiday as it should be. I made carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. And no, they were not LCHF/Keto. The meal was. The dessert was not. If was a beautiful day, he was/is loved, and I have a shit ton of dishes awaiting me after I finish this.
   I had two revelations this weekend. One is that popcorn in any form is a big no for me. When we went to the store, there was a chic handing out a free coupon with a bag  of something called Kernel Seasons Chrunchin Kernels Ranch flavor.  Basically they are flavored half popped popcorn kernels.  I have basically stayed away from popcorn since the cdiff. I might eat one or two stray pieces here or there with no problems. I wanted to see how it tasted. I am not exaggerating when I say that I ate probably a 1/2 to one full teaspoon of it.  It tasted good. I would highly recommend as a snack if you are not eating LCHF or if you have gut issues.  But if you are like me, stay the fuck away from them. It felt like nails going through my colon. I had to lay down for an hour while it worked it`s way out of me. I felt so sick. My gut is still sensitive today after the fact.
Revelation #1: Stay the hell away from popped corn in all forms. 

  I am not going to talk about why Hubs was sick cause that is none of our business. But it lasted for a couple days. It was unpleasant but he is much better this morning. I was trying to figure out what triggered it. The only thing that came to mind was our diet. We had been eating full fledged keto from May-November. Then it slowly flew off the rails. We still eat low carb high fat but not to the extent that we did before. We would cheat here and there. I think the woe that we were doing was helping him immensely. He did not suffer at all the whole time we were eating that way.  So yeah.
Revelation #2: Eating Keto is keeping us healthy. 

  I will just deal with the keto flu and the massive cravings to come. We are back on this WOE!  I packed his lunch this morning. He will have foods to eat while on the road. I have to go to the store to pick up cheeses because we are totally out. I have to hard boil some eggs too. I have been doing that all along but they will save me in the coming weeks. I am also going to make some fat bombs for the freezer. We have like 6 cupcakes left from yesterday. I am hoping that Kid #2 just brings them to work tonight. That would be ideal. They were faboo btw. I used Paula Dean`s recipe for both the cakes and the frosting. I cooked them for 35 minutes. Those are chopped pecans on top.

  Kid #2 has brought up a interesting proposition. She wants to start a YouTube channel with me. I want to research it all first. I will have to have the laptop my friend gave me worked over. You really need a good lappy to edit your videos. This Chromebook wont cut it. We could use our iPhones to record. She wants me to do cooking and mukbangs but with a keto twist. She wants to do her own mukbangs also. A mother daughter kind of thing. As you can see, I love to blog so I would be doing it cause I like to do it. If any followers or money comes with it, that would be great too.  I will let you all know if and when that happens. Mukbangs are gonna blow up in the Youtube world like they do in Korea. I love to watch them. Dont ask me why. I cannot explain it. It is not like a feeder thing. I like when they eat and talk. Kind of like you are sitting there with them. I also like ASMR but that is something totally different.  That video is of Keemi. I like her. She cooks, talks, and eats. I started watching her when she had a small following.

   I went to the neurosurgeon`s office last week. I saw his PCA.  He had a really good energy. I liked him. He listened to me. My lower back is arthritic. He could see my last surgery on my L5 S1. He used to work for the surgeon that did it. He said that my L4 L5 is not that great but he suggested that I go back to PT (yay!) and have the shots. I decided later that I am not doing the shots yet. I will do the PT and massage. If they do not help, I will try the shots. I told him about my neck hurting. My arms, hands, shoulders, etc. He wants me to have a MRI of my cervical. Then he does all the customary shit they do at an appointment. Heart beat, lungs, blood pressure, and pulse. He checks my pulse on my left hand, looks up at me and says *that is a weak pulse and your hands are cold*. He says I might have to see the vascular surgeon in the building. WHAT?? I asked if my low blood pressure be a reason too. He said yes. After much talk, we will wait till after my MRI is done. If I have to see the vascular guy, he will send me. Of course I googled that shit and I must be a fucking magician. I was thinking I had an issue with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome months ago. I talked about it to the massage therapist two weeks ago. I am not saying that I know that is what it is but who wants to bet me a $3 bill?  If it is just the nerves, I will learn how to hold my posture and techniques through PT. That is in like 95% of the cases. Very rare to have to see a vascular doctor about it. That would be if the area in question is impinging on your artery or veins. I am not gonna super worry about it.

  That is about it. It is Monday. I have to do laundry, water my plants, go buy cheese, and work on a little arts and crafts project. I have a wood octopus that I am painting. Yeah, I will share when it is done. I still have not figured out how to get the IG back on here. It is making me a little bit mad. My fishes are gone too. Grrrr.
I need a blogger guru, I tell ya.

Have a good week! Maybe some snow on Tuesday!

Deactivate or Not Deactivate?

*219*


 That is the question of the day. I am struggling with possibly unplugging from Facebook for awhile. I spend way too much time on it and there is so much disgusting negativity. Not necessarily from my friends but their friends who like to leave troll like comments and think they are witty. They are not. I have been pretty surprised who many would probably love to meet The Donald and the model in person. That is far as I go with the political today. I feel like I need to protect myself from the negativity. It makes me feel gross and I dont like to feel that way on a daily basis. My dilemma is do I just stay away or actually deactivate. I have turned off notifications on my phone and my iPad for actual Facebook, which is nice. I feel that if I go complete cold turkey, I will fail.

   I left here, went to the grocery store, got a coffee, put everything away with the kid, and I am sitting down with an avocado, a pickle, and a big bowl of carrot tomato ginger red pepper soup puree. So good! I was given it on the day of my upper endoscopy and this is the last of it. So I will try to eat and type.

   The endoscopy was fine. I have the same erosive esophagitis (and duodenitis and gastritis) but it seems to be a little bit more. He did not need to stretch my esophagus open because there were no stricture. I will wait for the biopsy results like a good girl. I will probably have to take another zantac a day and something else while TRYING to stick to the no wheat, no eggs, no life meal plan. Everything is making me burp and feeling like I have to flush food or pills down with water on a regular is not fun. I love food. When I tend to cheat it is not hugely. Little bits here and there during the week. But those little bits are making it hard for me to lose weight. The more I lose, the better for me.

Yesterday I was presented with the opportunity to try little french macaroons.  *I do not have a picture of ours because we all gobbled them up before a good pic could be taken*. The ones I bought were very small, quarter sized. I chose the pistachio one and that was that. It was enough sugar to raise my bs up there. This is something I had always wanted to eat. I had one. I am happy I did. Next. So it is cheating like that. I either have to get over myself and these little food transgressions or....just get over myself.

   Tomorrow is a big day. We are having a Nor`easter. It is going to be an all rain event. But it will rain for two days and there will be wind. I hope our power stays on.  I will (hopefully) be getting my temporary MMJ card in email. I will have to call the dispensary to set up appt to have orientation and buy my first stuffs. I hear they have a nice lotion for rubbing on your aches and pains. I cannot wait for that. And I see the neurosurgeon here in my neck of the woods. I need an MRI of my neck and I want to get back to PT at some point. Crossing fingers that I have good experiences tomorrow.

Mmmm! Soup...

  I have been watching more Netflix lately. I have finished two tv show series so far. I really like Black Mirror and will be looking for new seasons. It gives you the right amount of creepy to make you uncomfortable but not so much that it is cringy. I really am a lover of Sci Fy. I finally finished The Magicians and I am told the new season starts at the end of this month. I always wanted to watch it but it was on late, my tv upstairs doesn't have a dvr, and I would fall asleep in the middle. So I never really knew if I really liked it. I really liked it! I have to see what show I want to watch next. I am trying to get into one of the Netflix Originals but I haven't decided which to dive into. I had really started to shy away from watching any tv series because my attention span sucked ass. It is still not the greatest but good enough to let me have some enjoyment. I guess watching all those YouTube videos helped out a lot.

It feels like Spring for reals. But it is still January. I have at least 2-2 1/2 months till I can really enjoy the kind of weather I crave. I have a literal shit ton of dishes waiting for me. SHIT TON! I have finished my soup, and my pickle. After I finish this, I will eat my avocado and get to working on that pile in there. Hubby is getting a massage right now so he will be no use to me for the rest of the day.

Signing off till next week. Have a good one.

Forty Eight Years

*220-something*

   It is 1pm and I am still in my jammies. The impending temperature change from 50 today to the 30s tomorrow is giving me body issues which in turn makes me moody. I will be okay. I just have to roll with it. We are forecasted for some snow possibly on Friday, my birthday. And possibly more Saturday evening into Sunday. We shall see. It almost always snows on my birthday so I have just learned to live with it. I have a recipe for my cake. It is a chocolate brownie cheesecake that is LCHF. I bought all the ingredients for it. Cheesecakes are easy to make for this way of eating. I am not in the mood for dealing with different leavening shit.
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Ok. I let the dogs out and I went upstairs to change my clothes. It is progress. It would have been way better if I took a shower, washed my hair, washed my face (toner and moisturize) and brushed my teeth but a depressed girl could only do so much. I am body depressed basically if that means anything. The barometric pressure changes, my wacked out hormones, and at the tail end of a nasty head cold has wiped me out physically. Part of me knows I should just lay on the couch and watch streamed tv shows but the other part of me sees that the kitchen needs cleaning. It is a sick bitch balance.

   Let me share this recipe here before I forget. It is Egg Roll in a Bowl.  I made this the other night and everyone LOVED it. I used shredded rotisserie chicken instead of pork. I also added some shredded purple cabbage, a teaspoon of sesame oil, and sriracha to taste. So good and low low carb. I am having some leftovers for lunch now. If you have ever eaten crack slaw, it is like that. I love crack slaw too. Mmmm! Give it a try even if you dont eat the way I do.

  Speaking of eating the way I do, I am a fucking keto loser. I keep eating crap. I ate bread the other day. I dont eat bread! I am all bloated and that is also making me feel shitty. I have to declare it here for posterity. I will deal with the keto flu! I will start eating correct for my health starting right now at 130pm. I will stop eating carbage that is not good for my diabetes! It is so easy to slowly slip back into my food addictions. I knew that the holidays would ruin how well I was doing. A little bite here. A lots of bites there. I have maintained my weight loss but I am back to being bloated from the grains. I am totally not gonna make excuses or concessions. It will take a good week of strict eating to stomp the cravings down. I have to do this so that I can live a long life. ROAR!!

*i am back on track cause i gotta be*

 I bought myself a birthday pressie this week. I had a $25 discount on Amazon (one of my freebies. So I bought a Echo Dot and a speaker to listen to music from it. I love Alexa! I know people do not like the idea of having a microphone in their house. I love it. It plays my music. It tells me the weather. I am a happy birthday girl. I am also getting something else for my birthday. Kid #2 bought me a new lappy! It is coming in the mail tomorrow. This will be my last post with this disgusting Dell with the missing letter n.

    We are supposed to go out to lunch and dinner for my birthday on Friday also but we shall see how the weather holds up. Hubby wants to take me to David Burke`s Prime for lunch. That is some snazzy eating. I will have to be strong though. There will be no frites with my steak!

  This leftover eggroll in a bowl is actually lifting my mood a little bit. It isnt helping with my pain but you cannot have everything. If you make it, let me know if you liked it. I used a whole chicken shredded, a whole bag of coleslaw, and half a bag of shredded red cabbage. I doubled all the other ingredients.

That is all for today. I have some stuff to share the  next time I post. I have started the ball rolling for something.

Happy Boxing Day 2016

*This video was shortened by :27 seconds. The beginning was a hilarious exchange between the two but I guess someone wanted to make it more PC*  Update...They fixed it! Yay!

   I am very sad. I loved loved loved George from the very beginning. I always sang along when I heard his songs. He was a big part of my 80s and growing up. I did not realize how close in age we actually were. I loved him and nothing changed that. The years gone by, scandals, or drugs did not make me be snide toward him. May he forever rest in peace.

  Box-ing Day: noun (in parts of the British Commonwealth) a public holiday celebrated (strictly the first weekday) on the day after Christmas. 
Origins:  mid 19th century: from the custom of giving tradespeople a Christmas box on this day. 


  Today is the day after Christmas. I was too busy cooking and enjoying, that I figured I would post today. I do not celebrate Boxing Day but today is the day and one of my favorite Brits has passed on, so I deemed it appropriate. I was in the middle of cleaning the pantry when I remembered I had to post. I finished the whole left side. Basically because it was the easiest and less gross side. Eight shelves that have our canned goods, grains, pastas, and all things we use to cook meals. Hubby and I only venture in their for veggies (if no fresh or frozen), oils, and that is about it. I will be filling it with more compliant stuff for us. Our flours stay in the freezer.  I just sprayed down the top right side. This side is gross. The top shelf holds all the vinegars, oils, and liquid spices. That shelf is disgusting cause soy sauce and liquid aminos stain. The next shelf holds all the pet food. Again it gets gross. Last shelf carries all of our medications inside tubs. After that I have to tackle the bottom right. All my baking stuff. Ugh. That is just a mess. MESS! It has to be organized top to bottom.


  To add to my tales of woe...hubby and I are back on LCHF/Keto 100% starting today. I am not making excuses for my eating behavior anymore. I will say that this past month has been really bad emotionally. I decided to eat my feelings with carbs and sugar. I have not gained weight but I feel gross. My gut is bloated. I have headaches again. Just yuck. He was sticking to it about 80% but we totally just jumped ship on Christmas Eve Eve. I had chinese food with rice and I ate the rice dammit!  I ate stuff that I should not have and I am moving on. This morning it was a BPC with 3 eggs, ham, onion, avocado, and a little pickled tomato. I just downed a squirt of whipped cream and later I will make some fat bombs. Those will save me as I get fat adapted.  That will take about a month to achieve.

  I have decided I will not go to the Yale spine clinic. I did not like it there for some reason. Gave me a bad vibe. My GP office called a referral for me to go to the local neurosurgeon`s office. That will probably be awhile to get in but I will wait. I have a MRI of my neck scheduled for the 30th. Part of me wants to cancel it. I have to drive myself so that means no valium. We shall see. I may just feign a head cold.

Let me go for now. I have some more shelving to clean and I need to eat some Jalapeno poppers. I will probably come back when I am less busy.