I think I am addicted to shoes

*243*

 Ever since I bought my first pair of  cheap Birki`s Dorian clogs (ebay) for my feet, I was hooked. I have three pairs of them now. I have a pair of Betula sandals that cost only $11 at a consignment shop and I just won a pair of Born mules for $5 on Ebay.  The biggest find was a pair of black Dansko mules for $5 at Salvation Army. Shoes were 50% off so they were $2.50! I am addicted to sturdy for my feet but oh so fashionable shoes. This is bad. I always owned up to being a handbag whore but shoes are a whole other level of depravity.  I have to have cute shoes that help keep my feet pain free. I used to not care. I have a couple pairs of flats now (that are not high quality) just for the colors to match with certain outfits.
I blame it on the game Covet. If you do not know, google to find out. It is like electronic Barbie dress up. I like it. I play every day but only just once or twice. But I think the act of accessorizing outfits to win stuff has moved into the real world. LOL
Yeah...those Born mules come tomorrow. They will be a nice shoe for the fall. Most shoes that I buy have either been never worn or very slightly worn, like they wore it for a day and didnt like them. I have to have good shoes for my feet and badly used shoes from others are not good.  I could never afford any of these shoes at regular price. Silly as it sounds, I cherish each pair. They will make my outfits looks good and my heels will be happy campers.


     I made a appointment to see the allergist next week. I am going to bring up the subject of my constant itch. Then I will segway into the possiblity of Mast Cell disorder. If they dont the block of cheese, I will get referred to the Dr in new york. I have to get a handle on what is wrong with me. Did I give the kid the hypermobility? Do I have Ehlers-Danos? That could explain the cranial leaks. I have to talk to my Ear Dr about all of this plus my head shit. I dont want surgery right now. I can tolerate the symptoms I have for now. My vestibular issues are a pain but I know what it is so I do not panic. I face it (in my mind) head on so that I dont over think the symptoms and make it worse. The squiggly lines I see are just because my vestibular-ocular reflex is out of whack.
 Some people do better with surgery. Some people get worse. I dont want to take that chance of the worst case scenario.

 I promised a whole thread on eggplant recipes. I will dig out some stuff and get right on that! I have not forgotten.

Enjoy the rain today. The garden will surely be happy!

Money makes the world go round.

I was flipping threw my old blog posts. I realized that I have absolutely no follow through. I started the spending fast and probably lasted a month. That is freaking sad. I need to rectify that situation. It will have to be modified because I will have future vet bills coming up. I need to prove that I can accomplish something that I start. 

 I need to save $900 for the vet. That is going to be my goal for the next few months. If I surpass it, I will just keep saving. I have a link someplace that tells how to really save with coupons. I am gonna dig into that tomorrow to see what I can learn.  Every penny counts. 

 I figured out how to elevate some of my stress. I am going to pay a few bills ahead of time at the beginning of the month. Hopefully that will give me more leeway towards the middle when it is crunch time. I am tired of being broke. I am gonna figure this mess out and make it easier for myself. 

$900. I have to do it. It starts right now. 

Brrrr!!! Literally!

 Our furnace is dead. May she rest in peace. And we are having a nor`easter today! Oh Joy!

Thankfully, we have a rider on our insurance that will cover the replacement and labor. We will have to pay a deductible but it is a smidge compared to how much it would cost outright. Fred has a guy who does furnaces with his Dad. He is coming by today to do a diagnostic. The insurance chic said we will definitely be all set before Christmas. So we are cold-ish. We have the portable heaters chugging. I set them low this afternoon to give them a break. We have no hot water. We have a thingamabob that is attached to the furnace that gives us continuous hot water. Until now. I bought a dish pan and I have been boiling water for the dishes. I feel so Colonial! Let`s collectively cross fingers that this shit does not take forever.

I am cold and getting over a stomach bug and just not in mood. Have to calculate how to get the deductible together. Ho Hum


I will talk about this at a later time to give you a update.

Munch Munch Munch

The chips of my people

*248*

  I went to the local *seconds* produce store to pick up some supplies to make a veggie pasta salad. These were spied at the register. Once I saw the logo, I was instantly brought back to my childhood. Eating Stateline chips at the beach with my Mom. I had to buy them. They actually tasted the same. They are not greasy like Lays tend to be. Oh, I really needed that bit of nostalgia.They were made here in CT and Mass. Hence the name. They kinda taste like potato sticks. I have not had them since I was a kid. They were not around HERE for decades. Kid #2 loves them. I will have to buy again.

 

Garden possibilities

This is a small portion of the veg and herb plants that I bought this past week. All for $20. There are three types of tomatoes, kale, cukes, yellow squash, jalapenos, two types of basil, thyme, and lemon balm. Sunday was my day of yard work. I covered myself in sunscreen and had at it. I dug up a third of the side front bed. I planted the kale and six heirloom tomatoes. I will dig up the rest this week.

Potted garden all done

I found that the new walkway had a second use. I lined up all my pots that I had laying around to plant cherry tomatoes, herbs, and the jalapenos. They get full sun out there with the chives and rosemary. I found a pack of blue jade corn that I have to plant too. The yellow squash was planted in the bed next to the house. I am hoping a change in venue will yield me some squash this year. I will have to set up the poles with the string for the cukes. The season started off slow but it is warm now.

My violet babies

I have six African violets now. Someone I know was using three of them as a decoration for a party. Didn't need them anymore and was going to throw them away. Score freebies for me. I trimmed off all the dead flowers and they are all happy by the kitchen window. I haven't killed one yet.

We are still dealing with ants but they are not bad. A stray one here or there. I have traps everywhere. I have major cleaning going on. I really need for kid #1 to leave (next week) so that I can super clean her room. That is where this all started. She doesnt see them anymore but I see them in the kitchen area so I have alot of work ahead of me. I hate ants just as much as I hate roaches. YUCK! It isnt the regular clean that I always do that is helping. I have to get in the corners, clean out the heat registers, and behind/under furniture. Lots to undertake. Plus we have painting to do and a few pieces of furniture to paint or reupholster.

    I will be cancelling the gym this week (on payday). I will disconnect the cable after Kid #1 leaves for the summer. That way she has no input in the decision. Kid #2 and #3 have no say but it is better if I do not have a bunch of jackals on me about it. It will save us about $200 a month total. That is a big deal. When I have some extra cash, I will buy a couple portable coffee cups from like Walmart for Fred and I. Trips to DD are not cheap if you add it up. Two large hot coffees cost $5. If you do that 5 days a week, that equals $25. Every week of the month (four weeks) $100. In just coffee!! You could buy two containers of grounds $10, cream for a month $10, plus sugar or equal (already have) and that is just $20 a month! I am gonna buy cases of water to stack in the basement for outings. I am a fiend over this. I am just leery of losing cable. I have had it in my life since I was a small child. Fred and I did not have it for like 3 months when we got first apartment but that was fixed right away. We always had the $$ for cable. But with the rising costs of food plus everything else, it just has to go for now.

  That is about it. I have been just plugging along. My health is the same so that is why I say nothing. You know I am in pain and feel shitty. There is no reason to repeat it all the time. I am rolling with it basically.  Tonight we will have some taquitos with yellow rice and a veg. I have stuff to make a cold pasta primavera. It is warm but feels good. Do not need AC yet.

Find a penny? Pick it up and Save that biotch!

   I noticed something about myself yesterday. I have been trying to grasp our budget and shake the shit out if it, and I am actually thinking differently about money for once in my life. Took me long enough!
   Back when I was a sophomore in high school, one of my first jobs was working as a coin machine operator in the back vault of a local bank. My job was to roll change into the paper rolls and to bag up coin into certain denominations and dollar values for the bank to send off. Money would come in from all the different area stores. My job was to take all these stray bags of coin and fill up one bag of quarters, one bag of dimes, etc. I do not remember the dollar amount that the machine filled the bags. Let me tell you what. I acquired arm muscles from that job. I had Popeye calves from all the walking that I had to do and now I was getting the arms to match.  The bags were heavy as fuck and I was getting definition in my arms and stomach! I could pick up Fred like he was a feather. I worked that job for about a year. Bank managers were a dime a dozen. I left because the last one wanted to lock me up inside the vault until it was time to leave. If I had to go to the bathroom, someone had to get her to come and let me out. I was doing my job fine. I was cleaning out the vault every night but the bitch did not want me talking with the tellers. I was a different class of person in the bank, I guess. The reason I am telling  you all this is because money just became part of a job. I did not look at all that money and think I want it, I can buy shit! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!. I looked at it as another dirty day at the bank. Money is filthy.
   Now my homes have never been super duper clean. When I was younger and had more energy, they looked nice and they were tidy. The living room, dining area, kitchen and bathroom were always clean enough just in case company came over. Bedrooms were always a wreck! Fred had and still has a problem with dropping his change everywhere out of his pockets. I would sure as shit pick up the quarters but the rest I could care less about. Up until recently, if I was sweeping and a couple dimes or nickels ended up in the dustpan, they would get thrown out with the rest of the dirt. Now that I type it out, I realize how much money I probably tossed over the past 26 years. Don't think I am a dummy. If there was a ton of change on the floor, I would pick it up. But I was not going to heave my fat ass over for every single solitary Lincoln.
   Yesterday I got a cleaning streak in me and ran with it. I straightened up the living room and dining room and vacuumed. But something changed. I was picking up every single coin I found and putting it in my pocket. Then they went straight into my jar here in the dining room. I did not throw away that one dime with the rest of the dust. I picked it up. Same with the pennies. I have a new love of money that makes me realize something. My Dad would get a nickle. He would see a double feature movie plus a newsreel, get candy, soda, and popcorn and still have a couple pennies left over. He lived thru the Great Depression and I am sort of too. I will take those pennies, nickles, and dimes to the bank. I will run them through the coin counter, and I will deposit that money or use it if I need it.

Don't just pick up all the pennies that are just heads up for luck. Pick them all up and save them for a rainy day. See how much money you can save if you actually turned in all the coins you have accumulated.
We have a large jar that we have never filled. We have gotten halfway and that was over $50 in coin when it was all said and done. If your bank does not have coin counting, you can always use a Coinstar machine at your local Walmart or grocery store. They do charge you pennies on the dollar but you still get your change converted to cash. They also have it now where you can convert your coins into iTunes money and different gift cards. You can also do it the old fashioned way. You buy paper rolls at places like Walmart. You roll the coins yourself. Put your name on the outside of each one, and then you turn them in to be deposited into your bank. Do not cheat! Make sure you have the right amount of money in each. The tellers will be using those coins to count out cash and if it is wrong, you will screw up their count at the end of the night. Here is a webpage that shows you the amounts for each coin in a roll.
 I hope I gave you a new perspective on all that change you got floating around in your house and car.

It is a foggy warm Monday here in my neck of the woods. I will be doing the strawberry jam today. I finished the lavender yesterday. Very damp day! Yuck!
Hope you are having a good case of the Mondays.

I saved money!!!!

I actually saved money yesterday when I went grocery shopping. I have been reading this book, Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half with America`s Cheapest Family.  I have not gotten super far into it yet but enough to know that they are teaching how to shop once a month and cook some of your meals for that month at one time to freeze or OAMC (once a month cooking). I had no idea that is what this was about. They do not say you shouldn't use coupons but they say you do not have to KILL yourself being a Coupon Queen. It starts you off easy. Try to shop just for this week only. You look at all the sales flyers, see what you already have in the house, and plan out your meals for the week. I did that.  If you have coupons to correspond with the sales, great! I am just a beginner in the coupon thing so I only had like four coupons to use total. I have to see why my printer is not working and either fix it or get a new one. Printing coupons online is the way to go too.
 I wrote out my lists of the two stores. We did get a couple things not on either list. Hamburger became an unadvertised sale at Stop and Shop. I needed it but had not added it to the lists. Sometimes if something good pops up, you have to grab it.
 I saved $40 at Stop and Shop and I saved $30 at Shoprite. I also bought B1G1 cereals at Rite Aid. I spent $125 (which I usually spend) and I came home with more than double the groceries! I had chicken breasts, big family pack of hamburger, two things of bacon, Italian sausage for my Tuscan soup, hot dogs, and a big family pack of pork chops that was used last night for dinner.
 Plus all the stuff I needed for this weeks meals. Fred and I can eat leftovers.

So I saved money and it was a rush and I will do it again. I have a crisis right now. We cannot find the metal rack that goes inside the canner so that I can make jam today. I could drive 20 minutes away and spend $6 for a new one but part of me doesnt want to spend the money until Friday.

Hair

I am posting a before picture of my hair before it gets cut for the surgery. I got a call today from the ENT office today. They wanted to tell me that having the surgery at Yale was going to be a big out of pocket expense for me because it was out of network. I already knew that but I thought my medicare would make a difference with my insurance. I guess it did not. She said when it is all said and done, I could end up owing $2500! $1000 more than they said before! She was acting stupid when I said I wanted to make payment arrangements. I cant be bothered by this right now. I am supposed to go tomorrow to find out if I can have the surgery and now all I think about it that I will eventually owe them like $5000 when I get both sides done. That is another fucking car payment! We do not have that!  Ugh! I hate corporate shit. I cant think about it. When I stress out, the pressure in my head gets worse.

Okay, I promised a picture. Go ahead and laugh. I dont really give a fuck. I dislike that it is a bathroom photo but what you gonna do. That is how long it is in the front and it hits the small of my back from behind. I need a trim! I guess that will happen after the surgery. If I can afford it.

Christmas is a-changing

Can you imagine that there was a time that you could buy a special Christmas package carton of cigarettes to give away as gifts to your friends and family? Wow, learn something every day.

 Fred and I talked with the girls a few weeks ago about how we want to change the meaning of Christmas in our home. In light of the economy and how the extra money in the budget can be put to better use, we are not exchanging Christmas gifts anymore. Starting this year. We will still celebrate Christmas! We will decorate and we will have a great meal and all that comes with the holiday but we are not giving gifts. The gifts of Christmas are for children, We are not children anymore. When the time comes and a grandbaby comes into our lives, then that will of course change.
 Everyone is basically on board with it. I am not changing my mind. It feels kind of liberating! I do not have to stress out over what to get whom. Are they gonna like it? Will we have to return it? Oh god! So and So got us a gift and we didn't not get one for them!!
Yeah, I do not want to do that anymore. The Christmas commercials will have a new meaning for me now. They wont tell me that I am a bad person cause I did not go out on Black Friday and buy that huge assed TV for $300. It will not taunt me all month to BUY BUY BUY! I will just ignore it. Because I can.
  Natalie just had a birthday. Fred and I were born in January and Chelsea was born the day after Valentines. None of us is going to have to wait very long before or after Christmas to get a gift and have our day.
  Have you ever thought of doing this? Just not giving gifts.
I would never do it if the kids were actually kids. It will be fine now. I wont be able to do the kind of shopping that I do anyway because of the surgery.  So that is that.

 I finished the windows in the living room. Took me hours. I hate being sick. You do something, you rest, you do something, you rest. Sucks ass!
 It is getting colder here. God, I wish I could turn the furnace on. You do not know how badly I wish I could. It is gonna get cold in here tonight. I bet you on that one. I have two heaters going though. Well, actually three. One in living room and one in dining room. There is also one in my bedroom and one in Chelsea`s bedroom. I bought a bigger one that is on layaway right now. It will heat the downstairs alone. Then I will not need the two running down here. It is basically to keep us warm now then it will supplement the small amount of heat I will allow to come out of the furnace. Oil is $4 a gallon right now. That is more then last year! Every year it gets more and more expensive.

  We do not have money for a gas furnace. And how would we be able to anyhow. I have read assholes telling people like me that if we gave up our *luxuries* then we could afford to buy a generator for our house for future storms. One of the guys that was spouting off was on FB and I outed him cause his wife is an ER nurse (not around here) so he is preaching to poor people when he probably is living very lovely. But the things he was saying mimic what a lot of the 1% and others in their money tier are saying. Things like: Okay, You should give up internet, cable, and cell phones. That should help pay for having what you need in life. If you cannot afford xyz, then you should not have those things either. Then I spouted off and said: Well, we can also have one lamp with one bulb that we have to share around the house. No Netflix. Wash dishes with cold water.  Read books with a flashlight. Only eat stuff you can get at the Dollar Tree. Get rid of the animals because that food money could be used for something too. Keep the heat on 50 so the pipes do not freeze and walk around the house in a winter coat.  The guy never answered me.
 But these are things I think about. We used to have money and now we don't. Like many many others. Should I be doing more to lessen what we spend? Heck yes I should. I already got rid of the gym and the house phone. Now what?
So this Christmas thing is because of the economy of our household. Plus, we are all too old to be opening up 3-4 gifts each on the holiday. We aren't kids anymore.

Exploding head and tears

I do not feel good so I will make this short. Supposedly in the fine print of our insurance contract last year, it said that we agree to take this insurance and we lose the ability to have fees from other hospitals waived. So Yale wants me to pay $1500. My good old friend at OUR benefits office said that we cannot have the waiver of the fee because we chose the insurance we chose. Some fine print bullshit there. They told me to make a payment plan or find another Dr closer. I want to kick them in the crotch is what I want to do. Not because of what they had to tell  me, but how they delivered it. You have known me for years but you are gonna treat me like joe schmo. That person will get the finger the next time I see them.
  I have not cried so hard in my life. I need this surgery ASAP and I do not have $1500. I am not borrowing it. I do not have a credit card with that much on it. And I am not doing a payment plan. They will want more a month then we can afford. So I called my neurosurgeons office (the one that did my back). They could tell I had been crying. They got me an appointment to see him this Wednesday. I called the diagnostic place in New Haven and after some faxing, they are mailing my cat scan cd to my neuro`s office tomorrow. Fred talked to his really good friend that used to work in the OR with this surgeon. He has done 1000s of craniotomies. He did a wonderful job taking care of my back so I trust him fully!
 I wish I was having it done by Dr Kveton but this is a good alternative. I hope he says he can do it.
  We have a guest staying for a couple days and I just cannot clean the house. Natalie did the bathroom downstairs but I just cant get myself to do anything. My brain is so scrambled. I have been crying. I am a mess.
 I do not even think I can cook dinner. My wish is to just go to bed.

Hopefully tomorrow I will feel much better! The saga continues.....

Itchy Palms? Show me the money!

I wish it was picking season

*265*

My right palm has been itching like crazy for the past for days. I hope that means some money is on the way cause my ass could surely use it. I was told to make sure to itch toward my body so that the money will come to you and not away. I love old wives tales!

   Today I am more inclined to talk about the things I found out at my Dr appointment. He told me that one of the balance tests points to that issue I posted about in the last entry. He cannot be 100% sure until a cat scan is done. But we are going to wait. The surgery is very serious and if I have the cat scan now and they find that I do have that thing, I surely have to have it fixed. So we are going to be blissfully ignorant for now. If I have another *attack* in the next six weeks, I have to call and let the office know. If the attacks happen rarely, then surgery may not be needed at this time. If I were to have an attack like I did once every month, then I need to have it scanned, see if there truly is a hole, and have it repaired. He was up front with me and Natalie was there. I would have to have a hole drilled in my skull, the repair work is right next to the brain, and I could lose my hearing in that ear. But it would take away the dizziness and the weird sound/dizzy spell that I had before. I heard a loud sound next door, I felt extremely weird in the head, and I stood up cause i thought we were having a tiny earthquake or something. No, it was just me. So that has been weighing on my mind. Hoping the water pill he prescribed will help with my other issues. The dizziness and nausea may be helped with it and I have to cut and space out my ativan to last throughout the day. I take it for my spacial issues.

  It is a gorgeous Fall like day out there today. Makes me want to do something like bake cookies or make a roast (if i had one). I am going to do some Fall cleaning around the house, most likely bake cookies, and then hang out with hubby this evening.
I hope you all have a nice week ahead. I will check in from time to time.

Diet Pepsi is a Necessity!

I bought a fountain Diet Pepsi for 89cents from my change in my wallet this morning. I had not had a coffee and I needed the caffeine jolt. Sue me! :)
The other thing that was not something I should have bought was at the $5 store.  Chelsea owes me $10 because she forgot her wallet for supplies for a weekend retreat. She needed a flash light and a rain poncho.
Otherwise I have $80 left out of the $200 I started with this morning. Chelsea will give me my $10 and Raymond owes me $10. That`s $100 for next week. $50 from Fred will pay for gas this week.
I did good.
I even bought chicken and a package of organic knockwurst. I use the sausage for rice and beans.
Then I saved money. I cooked half a slab of bacon at $1.25 for that half. I made BLTs and 2 egg salad sandwiches for the four of us. If I bought small grinders, that would have been $20!
See?
Money is a sneaky bastard.

This was going to just be a reply but I figured I would just say what I had to say. I hid my money away so that I would not spend it and it doesn't just disappear. I have mapped out about 5 days of meals so far for the weekend and this coming week. Tonight is going to be:

Cheeseburger Macaroni with garlic bread
1 lb lean hamburger meat
1 pkg taco seasoning
1 can Rotel tomatoes and green chilies (or petite diced tomatoes) (Not adding cause of Natalie)
2 cups beef broth (or water)
1 cup elbow macaroni
Brown and drain hamburger meat. Stir in taco seasoning, Rotel, beef broth, and macaroni. Heat to boiling. Reduce heat and cover pan. Simmer 12-14 mins until macaroni is tender.
Meanwhile, make the cheese sauce….
2 Tablespoons butter
2 tbsp flour
3/4 cup milk
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
Melt the butter in a saucepan. Whisk in the flour and cook, whisking for 5 minutes until fragrant and light brown in color. Whisk in the milk and bring to a boil. Whisk until smooth and thickened. Remove from heat and stir in the shredded cheddar cheese until melted. Add the salt and pepper to the cheese sauce. Pour the cheese sauce over the hamburger mixture. Stir gently to combine.
Serves 4.
I soooo want to add the Rotel but then Natalie will die of starvation and complain and want a pizza. So I will make it so everyone is happy.  I am also going to use some Velveeta for the sauce. Yummy!
Then I will take some butter and garlic, let it cook in a saucepan till they marry. Put that in the freezer for a fast blast of cold. Turn oven on 400 deg F. Cut french bread down the middle. Spread with the butter. Put in the oven. Cook till lightly browned.

So far so good. I havent died. But we will see how it goes as the days pass and I have not spent any money.

No fooling around now!

*271*

I have had enough of struggling with money. Ever since we bought the Jeep and then lost the $500 a month from SS for Natalie being an adult..I have been struggling. We should have never ever bought a car but there was no stopping THAT train. I will not get into it.
I have medical bills, a dental bill, Ruby has to be fixed before September, we owe the IRS a smidge, plus the regular living expenses, and having two *kids* that think I should still pay for everything. AND I have not saved one penny for the trip to Denver. Not one! At this rate, I truly doubt I can get the $1000 together for the trip. So I am calling for drastic measures.
I already warned Chelsea and I am going to tell Natalie and Raymond. If they bat their eyes at me like I am speaking a foreign language, I am gonna smack them.
They want to smoke..they have to pay for it. I am not buying one more pack of cigarettes anymore. No more take out. No more $1 menu. No more 99c cans of iced tea. No more trips to Dunkin Donuts (me too). No more wasting gas. No more scratch offs or lottery tickets. No more gulps at 7-11. No more eyebrow threading.
The list goes on and on. Natalie will be finished with school in June. Then she is going to help me with the jam making. IF FRED EVER TAKES ME TO MEET MR. MOSEY. (dont get me started!). If she helps me 100%, I will share the profits with her. Then she has one semester in the fall and she is done. She can get a good job at the hospital if she wants it.
I am trying to trim the fat before the floor drops out. I want to be comfortable and be able to pay all my bills without sweating every single month. It is ridiculous. I am constantly stressed. Then I get attitude because I did not buy enough quick microwave foods to eat or I do not have money to buy pizza.
I am not saying I will never buy another pizza but once a fucking month. Not every fucking week.
 Drowing is not fun! Especially when you can prevent it. I am going to live like it were just Fred and I. We can live without stuff. I will make sure there is plenty of food but I am not doing any extras. If it were up to me, no take out, basic cable, no netflix, no gym membership, and no smoking allowed!

So today is where it starts. For this week and next week, I will have exactly $250 to spend (total not each week) for groceries and gas. I have bills to pay at the end of the month and I am squeaking by. Fred might be able to give me some extra cash from his part time job but I am going to sock that away for my trip to Jersey to Dale`s house. I want to have some fun while I am there. I am leaving room empty in my suitcase for thrift store shopping!
I want to be able to get by on a certain amount. Pay my bills on time. Not have an exessive electric bill. There will be plenty of food to eat, just not taco bell. Like tonight is going to be home made cheeseburger macaroni. I have big block of Velveeta and I know how to use it! hehehe

So for NOW..I am not turning anything off. I want to see if i can do this with cutting the fat first. If it works, cool.
Wish me luck and hope I do not pop a blood vessel with these kids getting mad at me all the time with me constantly saying NO.
If you have any recipes to share that stretches your food dollars, please share here. I love that.

Cysts and Bills

*266*
 I had a good appointment with the Gynecologist. He told me that the cysts are not too big. They are each 3cm big. The one of the right is a complex cyst and will not go away on it`s own. On Valentine`s day I have to go have a ultrasound and blood work done. If everything looks good, then it will just have to be monitored to see if it gets bigger or not. It is causing my pain. If the pain does not go away after awhile, I have the option of having the ovary removed. I am going to wait and see. He is concerned about my wayward periods, extra estrogen and something about thickening lining. I have to have a uterus biopsy too. Ugh!  So that is that with that. I will know more later on but he said for now, not to worry.

Bills are creepy up my ass. Now, I am complaining, not asking for a hand out. So please do not take it that way. I am griping.
The electric company USED to give you payment arrangements if you needed them. As long as you did not break the arrangement, you were fine if you ever needed another one. Every winter I would use it maybe once. I tried to do that yesterday because I have a bill over $400 that is due on the 20th. I sent them $300 two weeks ago. They told me no. The company looks at your ENTIRE history with them...ummm like 25 years, and if you ever were late or carried a balance, they would not allow you to have a payment arrangement. This is going to be a shock to many. Just like me. I just paid the car insurance bill, I have held the mortgage payment, and I have A HUGE bill due at the end of next month. I am thinking I am going to break at one point.
 Oh! Plus the shop had no cars to clean this week so Fred wont get paid. He never saved a dime of that money for the future. So that means, I have to give him some money this week out of the non-existent money I have. He will then talk about how he makes so much money and there should be some.
Yup, there is and they pay bills, scripts, medicine, Dr appointments, etc etc.

So I am not going grocery shopping this week and maybe next week. I will put gas the Jeep and car, buy cat and dog food, toilet paper, and get some hot dogs, macaroni, and some hamburger. We have plenty of food in this house. I can be creative. Natalie will starve but oh well.
Chelsea`s birthday is on the 15th. I have to get supplies for her cheese cake.
I am fucking stressing.
*Hey Gran! This does not mean I want you to be quick on our arrangement!! It stays the same!!*
Winter is always hard because it costs more. But I have been behind the 8 ball because the price of Dr appointments went up and I have had to go a few billion times.
Electricity is high. Cable is high. Food, gas, etc. It is stressing me the fuck out. I have not saved one penny for my trip to Colorado yet because something else falls into my lap.
What am I gonna do? I cannot work. That has already been established. The girls? Ahahahaha! Thats funny!
I am thinking I may have to start selling off my miniature collection. I have some pieces that could fetch a nice amount of money.
Oh well, maybe I will clean house this weekend and think about it. I need money.

I need to take some of these bulbs out of these light fixtures too.

This is for a certain someone that likes to stalk:
*Laugh away you special Snowflake! Karma will be coming for your ass one day soon!*

Food Budget

*267*

I think I have used this picture before but it fits into what I am talking about so I am gonna use it.
  I did not go grocery shopping in the classical sense this past Friday. I went to the food co-op to pick up a few odds and ends for the vegetarian but otherwise, I did not go. I have food in the fucking house. Lots of fucking food. In the freezers and in the cabinets. The only thing I really need to buy on a weekly is toilet paper, paper towels, and some dairy. I need to pop into the store today and pick up coffee grounds and cream. I am TRYING to save money. I spend $100 a week (give or take) on groceries. That is $400, sometimes $500 a month! That is fucking ridiculous. Granted, if there is a sale on those big packages of hamburger or pork chops, my ass is going for it. But I should not be spending that amount of money. I need to hark back to when people made due. You cooked everything from scratch..except the bread. I will do some artisan bread for grins and giggles but I am not baking household sandwich bread.
  I want to see if I can cut our food spending to $200 a month BUT there will be alternate months where I will spend that extra to fill up the cabinets. Enough of spending tons of money on food that ends up in the garbage.
 There is a smell in my fridge that I cannot distinguish where it is coming from. Fred and I did a sweep of it yesterday. I tossed out anything old or suspicious. There was nothing that made us go EEWWWW!
Smell is still there. I will have to clean the fridge.
But see what I mean. I threw out about $30 worth of food. There are people in this country that cannot afford that luxury. So I am going to stop it in our house. It is going to be eaten dammit! Before it goes bad.
I will shop this Friday. I will need to.
But for this week, I did not.

Battle of the budget

New London Alleyway

*281*
 Sometimes lately I feel like this is my life. A narrow steep hill. Not exactly my life but everyone`s life really. It all comes down to money, honey. I had to run out to the cable company this morning and pay the bill...cause we were shut off..yet again.  I am going to be 42 years old in 16 days and I cannot keep the bills paid on time. I am not spending on anything frivolous or going to the casino. I am just buying food, gas, coffee, newspaper, and the bills are just higher then they have ever been. The mortgage is paid, the electricity is paid, and the water is paid..always! I have to scrape money together to buy oil when it is time and the rest of the bills wait until I get a shut off notice and then I pay them. I am basically robbing Peter to pay Paul.
  And I know that I am not the only one. I have always been frugal. I think that I am not frugal enough now. I have been thinking of the idea of either getting rid of cable all together or downgrading to the basic package. We have the internet and Netflix (so worth the $10 a month!).  I dont know anymore.
So I am going to do the old budget dance but this time I am going to be serious. This is how much we have, this is how much the bills are, this is what is leftover. That is it!
Chelsea does not give us a penny of her money to help out, and that has to change. She either has to start giving us money every paycheck or she has to find another place to live. Wow, I said it out loud..for others to read.  When Natalie finishes school, she will have to find work and either go or stay and pay.  You see, I get social security disability. For the past 8 years, I have been getting money for the girls also. Well, 2011 will be the last year that I will get money for Natalie. She turns 18 in October and the last check will probably be in September. It will be a loss of almost $500 a month. Big chunk. Scary sort of. I know we will manage but it will be hard. So this year is the year of change in terms of money and how we spend it.
I may document (kinda sorta) what I am doing, what I am learning, and how I am saving. Losing weight and gaining money!

First on the agenda is food. I was going to get something simple and easy for dinner tonite but then I decided as I was leaving the cable company parking lot that I am NOT going to do that. I am going to cook dammit!  So tonight is going to be my famous egg rolls. I have the hamburger and spring rolls skins defrosting. I also took out a steak that I bought last month for the carne asada for Un-Thanksgiving...It was an extra and I think I am going to make it again for dinner tomorrow.
So for now, that is what I am dealing with...money and how to spend and not to spend it.

Wish me luck!

My Mac is dying..waaaaa! waaaaa!

*282*

  This is a picture of an Apple IIe circa 1977 maybe..All I know is my Dad brought one of these babies home when I was in elementary school. How cool was that? I was probably one of the only kids in my class that had a home computer. I knew how to program in DOS. I would not know a DOS file if I tripped over it now.  Fred and I bought our first PC and set up internet when we bought our house in 1998. We have had 3 PCs and then the girls talked me into getting this Mac right here. I have loved it. I made a big mistake though. The economy shit the bed around the same time that I was supposed to renew my warranty contract with Apple. I just did not have the $200 and change to pay for it. And here I sit..with a computer that has been acting up for a year. First I had to have the hard drive replaced. But now we have other issues I do not want to get into. This morning I woke up to the bottom part of the screen is significantly darker then the top of the screen. I looked it up..That is not a good thing..at all. So let us hope that Heidi comes up with the funds to purchase a new Mac (no PCs in this house..LOL) before this one dies.
  My dream would be to have this computer fixed or just get a new one all together AND have a Macbook for myself. No touchies for the kiddies. It would be in lockdown. Only Fred or I could use it. That would be pure bliss for me.  I hate not having money. This is going to turn into a short economy rant now..hehehe I can feel it. We are doing okay...I guess. We are basically living paycheck to paycheck but I have been able to start putting money away. But then shit like this happens and there goes the money! If I could just not have cable tv or buy food..OMG the money I could save. LOL
I had quit smoking so I figured I would have that cushion of money to save. I should be saving almost $3000 a year from not smoking. That is an extra $250 a month. Oh hell no. Because then that money was to pay for the rising cost of electricity, oil for the tank, and cable. You cannot win for losing.  In my perfect house/world right now I will tell you what I would do. I would buy two new Mac desktops and a laptop. I would either get rid of cable tv all together or just have the basic package (hubs has to have football and basketball). We could use the computers for the internet and for watching Hulu and Netflix. One car and the kids would use bicycles. Hell, my ass could use one too. Fred cannot. He has an issue with one of his knees. No  junk food, no soda, no juice, no commercial crap that costs extra. Generic all the way baby. I could go on and on. I have a clothes line but we do not use it!
 I already do so many things that help us but I could do so more. Okay, I know I am whining and some people would say that I need to do something about it to make it better. I just have not figured out what that something is...
When I do, I will let you know.