It is a gonna be a two coffee pod kinda day

This is Julien. Kid #1 calls him Bashir. Shout out if you get reference 

*236* <-----eating things I shouldnt it. Make it STAHP!

  It is 932am est and I have been up since 530ish am. We are in the midst of another Nor`easter here on the shore. They are saying we could get a foot of snow when it is all said and done. The snow was impressive earlier but no so much now. Unless we get some more banding going on, I think the thought of epic snowfall is a bust. We shall see.

   Again, I have missed too many weeks in a row and for that I am sorry. My past couple weeks have been very stressful. It always seems like shit storms comes in threes. I will break some of these things down, some I will not because I have to keep a little air of mystery about me. I will try to add a positive at the end of each thing because that is how I am trying to live my life. Except I have no postives to say about my computer life. First the iPad died. I cannot afford to replace it. Now I found out that this HP Stream that I bought for myself is a $200 piece of garbage. Windows 10 is too large for the gigs on this things so it has already out of memory (bought in January). I cannot update it at all. I cannot upgrade the memory because of the kind of memory it has. And you guessed it, I cannot afford to replace it. I still have the Chrome book as a back up when I can no longer use this one. No positives for this declaration at all. And we do not get refunds so a computer will not happen then. Oh well. Maybe the Apple Fairy will gift me. Probably not.

Can I get a discount card on Cat Litter?

  First up, you have probably seen the pictures of Julien on the IG feed. He has been Kid #2 and my secret this past month. This lady came into the office with her cat and the litter. The office was going to adopt one of the litter when they were ready because one of the vet cats passed away. All the girls (3 left) are very much older and they wanted to bring up a youngin while the girls were still around. Kid #2 asked me to come in and see the kittens cause they were so tiny. Julien is the runt. He had to be mine. We received him two weeks ago during the last storm. We also found out this week he contracted round worms from his mother (the whole litter did) but he had his first de-worming and he will be fine. He is a little spit fire. He leaps. He runs like the wind. Last week he weigh 1.86 lbs. He is too small to be so fearless but he is. It took about a week but everyone has adapted. I am now OFFICIALLY a crazy cat lady. I had no plan at all to get another cat. We had three. Dont need another. But it happened and we are happy. He is very lovey to everyone. He is black but he still has a bit of his fever coat. That will go away as the months go by.

 I am the IV queen

 Last week I had the upper endoscopy. Nothing impressive. No ulcers. I still have gastritis, esophagitis, and he noted my hiatal hernia. Biopsies were taken. I have not heard anything back so that tells me that all is well with that. But, the hernia is probably the reason I am having trouble swallowing. It can get it the point where it pushes up a little higher in your chest and can make you have difficulties. I am supposed to take care of my Acid reflux but I cannot take PPIs because of the Cdiff.  I will just deal with what I have gut wise. If the hernia ever gets too bad, I will have the surgery. But as for now, no no no.
  Yesterday, I had my Mammo and my boob MRI with contrast. That all went well too. Of course they cannot tell me anything. I have an appointment with the boob surgeon next week. Lets hope I hear NOTHING before that appointment. I want no phone calls about the scans. All is well and they found nothing.

 When one door closes, Another one opens

We found out that hubby`s last cleaning job was given to some other company. Nothing do with him or his performance. Just company restructuring. That left us with alot of money a month out of our budget. I lost it. Completely lost it. I remember my friend (and mechanic) said he had someone that had a cleaning company. Long story short, we will be making approximately 2/3rds back. Still money missing but not catastrophic. We can work with that and hopefully there will be more to come.
The paid internship fell through. They could not work around the rules of paying me so that fell apart. I had decided that I would never get my hopes up for a job again. Now I have a chance at maybe another paid internship with our local cable company. That is actually the first job I applied for and had not done so well on the phone interview. Not bad. Just inexperienced at it. Now I know how to do all that. The company actually does participate in internships so we shall see. They need workers. I need a job! Wish my ass luck cause I am really tired of applying for stuff.

Girl, you need to stop

Because of a bunch of stressful stuff, I have not been eating right. Bread. Noodles. Rice. Potato. Junk. Pizza! You name it, it is going down. I have to really do it now. My doctor is gonna raise my insulin at my appt in May. Now it is the middle of March and I have not lost a significant amount. I have a plan. I am going to slowly slack off from now until Saturday. Saturday I will be taking my first Methotrexate shot..did I tell you about this? let me look....I guess I havent. The rhemy changed my methotrexate from a pill to a shot so it does not effect my gut like the pill did. I had to wait till this cold was all over before I can take the first shot. So, Saturday will be the first shot and the first day back on LCHF fully. All the junk in the house will be gone/ I will have set myself up with good for me snacks and I will be ready to go. I have to lose at least 10 more pounds by the beginning of May. I will do this. I need to do this! As i eat a slice of leftover pizza for breakfast/lunch.
Crap! 49 days until May 1, 2018!

Housework sucks

  Since I am *snowbound* today, I am going to get some cleaning done. I have to change the hose on the sump pump (it sprung a few leaks). I have to water all the plants. I will do the plants after I finish up on here. They are priority. I have a few that cannot wait for Spring so that I can repot them. When you have a boisterous kitten, you realize how dusty your house is. Pulling stuff out and vacuum underneath is going to happen in the livingroom today. Has to be done. I will polish all the furniture in the there and I will be good till next week. Okay. I ate one small slice of pizza. I think I am going to throw the other two away. Not gonna eat them. Going...going...gone. I tossed it in the trash and smushed it in the trash. Not that I would ever ever never eat that now but I felt it needed that extra Fuck you for being there so that I would eat it.


Okay...it is really time for me to do some stuff. I hope all is well with you. Stay out of the snow if you can help it. And I will be back next week.

Kitten Life

*234* <---according to the scale at the Neuro

  That is Keiko aka Little Girl on my summer handbag. For the past three years, I pull out this lovely jute/wickery handbag with the leather straps for lugging all my crap in. I love it and I will use it till either the end of time or another fancy summer bag comes along. LG seems to think it is hers. She likes to chew on the jute. She is getting big. Her first vet appt, she weighed in a 3.3 lbs and she was 12 weeks old. She has another appt in two more weeks for her second shot and to see how big she has grown. The vet will be able to gauge when she should be fixed by how large she has gotten from the last visit. She is an eater for sure. We used to serve one can of wet with a bowl of dry food for the two boys. Now it is 2 cans of wet with the dry. She gets along with everybody for the most part. Milo has taken her under his wing. Oli is tolerating her ass but all is okay. She is a good addition to our crazy family. Cats outnumber dogs at this point.  I do not call her Keiko. Her name is Little Girl. LOL

   I am so thankful that the weather has broken and the humidity has lifted somewhat. I was having a really bad time of it with it. Really bad. My brain was just not able to deal with the squish of the humidity. Once it lifted, I felt so much better. I will just pray the summer away. We havent even been about to enjoy the beach...at all. I have not swam once this summer. And I bought a bathing suit and a beach pass. Dammit!  It has just been a very busy summer so far and we have not had the time to squeeze that in. I do have a nice Vitamin D tan going though. I have been out in the sun, with sunscreen while I worked in the garden or did a plethora of other shit. I am patiently waiting Fall. I will gladly pay for home heating oil instead of electricity for the ACs.

  I want to say that I had a discussion with the Hubs about this whole not spending money thing for a MONTH. He did actually listen. I talked to Kid #2 about it because she can be a bad influence too when it comes to spending. I have to have them in my corner otherwise this will never work. Look. Another month has gone by and I did not follow through. I know I spent less on groceries but as for actual spending on stuff that is not essential....I suck. So again, I will push for August to be the month. It has to be. Just one fucking Month girl. Just one to prove you can do it! ugh. It is like being on a diet..... Does anyone notice that not all scales are universal? You go one place and it says you weigh like 230. Then you go to another place and it says you weigh 240. That is very discouraging. Who do you believe? Do you take an average of all the places that you have been and is that your weight? I could see a 3-5 lb difference but 10 lbs is alot. Too much not to wonder.

Oh yeah, speaking of that. I have gone quite a few days on keto. I am not in ketosis yet but I will be. I found out this week that my gastro is moving out of state. He will stop seeing patients at the end of August. I have an appt on the 1st. I am very sad. He has helped me so much with my gut. Now I have to start all over again with somebody else. Hopefully he or my endo can point me in the direction of a Dr that I can use that I wont want to yell at.  Anyway..I am totally into keto flu and this is usually when I cave. I cannot cave. I must be strong! I must be able to get back on the keto horse. I have mapped out a plan. I have August through the end of December to lose 40lbs. That is my goal for the end of the year. I also need to stick to the plan because in November, I will be having bloodwork done and my cholesterol will be checked. I want to truly see if the keto makes a difference for me. It didnt make one before when I was fully into it. I want to make a difference now. I have been following the glycemic index to help me in choosing foods to eat.  Like I just figured out that Cherries are actually not a good choice for me and my diabetes. I put them back in the fridge and grabbed to squares of Dofino Havarti Cheese. These will make me feel full and wont raise my blood sugar.

  Ketogenic eating has become a sexy thing to do. It has become a fad. It bothers some but it really doesnt bother me that much. I look at it as an opportunity for companies to start making stuff geared towards us. That is a good things. As long as it is not a chemical shit storm. People think they can do this and drop a quick 20lbs. It doesnt work like that. This is a slow way of losing weight. But when your body drops some weight, it is a large amount at once. You could go 2 months and the scale doesnt move. Then one day you look at you dropped 12 lbs. This is a way of eating for life for some of us. It is not a diet. I just have to really be strong this time. I am gonna do it do it do it!

  August 7 I am having a radial scare removed from my left breast. It is a surgery but it is outpatient. I am glad it is a Monday cause Hubby has Mondays off. He can cater to my ass while I shake off the anesthesia. Radial scars are not cancer. But they can develop into cancer. And having them raises your risk of getting breast cancer in either breast. Since my girls are very dense, it is safer to take it out so that they can biopsy the whole thing. We want to make sure there is no cancer hiding behind it. I am not very nervous about it. It is a good thing. I will have a scar but my boob will look the same as it always did.  Crossing fingers and toes that they do not find anything.  If I did not say it before, my liver ultrasound came out great. They did not find the polyp that I had on my liver before. It is gone. Yay!

  I am dealing with keto flu really bad. I am just dragging along over here. I need to take a shower and get an outfit set up for my appt today. I go to the Urologist today to find out why I have pain. Then I have to pick up the car because it is being serviced. If you saw the pictures on IG, you saw the new car. We bought a 2006 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo. It is our beater car. The Nissan will probably not last the end of the year so we wanted to get while we could. See..I spent money on a vehicle. But we need it. We love the BMW but you cannot use that car for every day stuffs all the time.

 Fuck me! Keto Flu SUCKS SO BAD! I will be strong. I will prevail. I will not eat any potatoes and ruin my progress! NO! NO! NO!

  Okay. I need to get off this thing. Shower. Wash my body. Pick out a nice outfit. Go to the Doctor. Come home and decide on dinner. I think it will be of the sausage and onion variety. I also have some broccoli I can steam and smother in butter. Sounds like a plan. I also need to get ready cause August 1st is coming and I am NOT spending money. I swear to Gah...I am not doing it.

Have a good rest of your week.

You can have too much Vitamin D

*233*

 
   I was scolded at the Endo this week. He said I was taking too much Vitamin D. He was worried I could get hypercalcemia and that was extremely bad. He didnt want to have to treat that and I did not want to experience it.  Luckily, my level was only double what it should be. I threw away my 5000mg pills (in one of those pill packs) and I bought a bottle of 1000mg. I can start the new pills in two weeks. Vitamin D is a fat soluable pill so it stays in your body longer. I can go awhile without taking it and let the levels get down to normal. I wonder what that will mean for my psoriasis. It is not super bad like some people but it is annoying. The dots of it keeping coming up and I keep slapping steriod cream on them. I am going to try this lotion, Dermarest, and see if that helps at all. I am not super self conscious about the lesions that pop up but some of them can get really big and I hate those. I will report back on whether it works or not.

   My appointment with the endo was interesting . No change in my insulin (yes).  He is sad because I am allergic to all the pills for Cholesterol. He has no way to treat me and it is putting me at risk for heart disease. He told me to lose weight. Lose alot of weight. And he said that not eating animal fat would help alot too. I dont think I could be vegan or plant based. I have talked about it. I have dabbled in it. But I have to be honest. I like to eat meat. I have practically given up on dairy. I will have some here or there and it will hurt me but most of the time, I do not have it at all. Eggs I have very rarely because they hate me too. This morning I am partaking on some low carb toast with some mashed avocado on top. I am a basic bitch. I know it. But it sure tastes yummy. Gives you some perspective on your life and what you have to do to prolong it.

   The kitten is doing very well. She was named Keiko but I do not like it. Basically, I got this kitten, I searched out this kitten, I paid for this kitten, I will have to pay for her first appointment, her fix, her food, and her life but I did not get to even choose her name. I call her Kitten Boo. That is her name to me. That is me feeling a bit bitter and bitchy this morning. Forgive me. My period is late again. Lack of estrogen.  Plus I am tired from cleaning yesterday, I have paperwork I needs straightened out, and I have to drive Kid #1 to New Haven for a Doctors appt. 1 hour drive one way. I do not mind it because she needs to go, I am just tired today and do not wish to go. Eh.

   That is it for now. Short post. Nothing fun. I have to get dressed and go to the insurance agents this morning. It seems they did not inform DMV that our Jeep was totalled. I received paperwork that needs to be rectified. Can I just not adult today? I would like to lay on the leather couch I bought but it seems that my oldest thinks it is hers and hers alone. I have yet to take a nap on it. Yes, that is me being bitter again but still. I have not laid on it and all.

Okay...i am gonna go now. :)

Kitty!!!!

Milo 9 weeks old

*279*

We got to take him home a few days early. The Mama was not feeding them anymore and Memorial day festivities are happening at the house where the kittens were. So we picked him up yesterday. He is very socialized with people and other animals. He is making friends with Oliver. Oliver is showing him who is the boss!

He is a short haired striped orange sweety. Lu is very jealous. I call the kitty and Lu is right there...PICK ME UP DAMMIT! I am making the most of Miss Lu because she is my girl and I do not want to hurt her dog feelings.

He has chosen the top of my sewing box as his official resting place. Milo is a good kitten. Too bad I didn't get to name him...I would have called him George.