I am not talking politics..today

*223* <----I could be. I could be not. Whose to know?

  First off, I am not gonna talk politics on here. If something horrifically horrifically worse then what is going on happens. Say eminent nuclear destruction, assassinations, or national famine..I am keeping my opinions to myself. There is enough bad energy swirling around. We do not need me adding to it.

   Yesterday was the Hubs birthday. 51 is a very good year. He was feeling under the weather though. This weather takes a toll on you sometimes. Kid #2 and I shopped and cooked a big dinner. We treated it like a holiday as it should be. I made carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. And no, they were not LCHF/Keto. The meal was. The dessert was not. If was a beautiful day, he was/is loved, and I have a shit ton of dishes awaiting me after I finish this.
   I had two revelations this weekend. One is that popcorn in any form is a big no for me. When we went to the store, there was a chic handing out a free coupon with a bag  of something called Kernel Seasons Chrunchin Kernels Ranch flavor.  Basically they are flavored half popped popcorn kernels.  I have basically stayed away from popcorn since the cdiff. I might eat one or two stray pieces here or there with no problems. I wanted to see how it tasted. I am not exaggerating when I say that I ate probably a 1/2 to one full teaspoon of it.  It tasted good. I would highly recommend as a snack if you are not eating LCHF or if you have gut issues.  But if you are like me, stay the fuck away from them. It felt like nails going through my colon. I had to lay down for an hour while it worked it`s way out of me. I felt so sick. My gut is still sensitive today after the fact.
Revelation #1: Stay the hell away from popped corn in all forms. 

  I am not going to talk about why Hubs was sick cause that is none of our business. But it lasted for a couple days. It was unpleasant but he is much better this morning. I was trying to figure out what triggered it. The only thing that came to mind was our diet. We had been eating full fledged keto from May-November. Then it slowly flew off the rails. We still eat low carb high fat but not to the extent that we did before. We would cheat here and there. I think the woe that we were doing was helping him immensely. He did not suffer at all the whole time we were eating that way.  So yeah.
Revelation #2: Eating Keto is keeping us healthy. 

  I will just deal with the keto flu and the massive cravings to come. We are back on this WOE!  I packed his lunch this morning. He will have foods to eat while on the road. I have to go to the store to pick up cheeses because we are totally out. I have to hard boil some eggs too. I have been doing that all along but they will save me in the coming weeks. I am also going to make some fat bombs for the freezer. We have like 6 cupcakes left from yesterday. I am hoping that Kid #2 just brings them to work tonight. That would be ideal. They were faboo btw. I used Paula Dean`s recipe for both the cakes and the frosting. I cooked them for 35 minutes. Those are chopped pecans on top.

  Kid #2 has brought up a interesting proposition. She wants to start a YouTube channel with me. I want to research it all first. I will have to have the laptop my friend gave me worked over. You really need a good lappy to edit your videos. This Chromebook wont cut it. We could use our iPhones to record. She wants me to do cooking and mukbangs but with a keto twist. She wants to do her own mukbangs also. A mother daughter kind of thing. As you can see, I love to blog so I would be doing it cause I like to do it. If any followers or money comes with it, that would be great too.  I will let you all know if and when that happens. Mukbangs are gonna blow up in the Youtube world like they do in Korea. I love to watch them. Dont ask me why. I cannot explain it. It is not like a feeder thing. I like when they eat and talk. Kind of like you are sitting there with them. I also like ASMR but that is something totally different.  That video is of Keemi. I like her. She cooks, talks, and eats. I started watching her when she had a small following.

   I went to the neurosurgeon`s office last week. I saw his PCA.  He had a really good energy. I liked him. He listened to me. My lower back is arthritic. He could see my last surgery on my L5 S1. He used to work for the surgeon that did it. He said that my L4 L5 is not that great but he suggested that I go back to PT (yay!) and have the shots. I decided later that I am not doing the shots yet. I will do the PT and massage. If they do not help, I will try the shots. I told him about my neck hurting. My arms, hands, shoulders, etc. He wants me to have a MRI of my cervical. Then he does all the customary shit they do at an appointment. Heart beat, lungs, blood pressure, and pulse. He checks my pulse on my left hand, looks up at me and says *that is a weak pulse and your hands are cold*. He says I might have to see the vascular surgeon in the building. WHAT?? I asked if my low blood pressure be a reason too. He said yes. After much talk, we will wait till after my MRI is done. If I have to see the vascular guy, he will send me. Of course I googled that shit and I must be a fucking magician. I was thinking I had an issue with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome months ago. I talked about it to the massage therapist two weeks ago. I am not saying that I know that is what it is but who wants to bet me a $3 bill?  If it is just the nerves, I will learn how to hold my posture and techniques through PT. That is in like 95% of the cases. Very rare to have to see a vascular doctor about it. That would be if the area in question is impinging on your artery or veins. I am not gonna super worry about it.

  That is about it. It is Monday. I have to do laundry, water my plants, go buy cheese, and work on a little arts and crafts project. I have a wood octopus that I am painting. Yeah, I will share when it is done. I still have not figured out how to get the IG back on here. It is making me a little bit mad. My fishes are gone too. Grrrr.
I need a blogger guru, I tell ya.

Have a good week! Maybe some snow on Tuesday!

That was pleasant

In like a lion. Out like a lamb

*244*

  This past few days have been really nice. Weather and otherwise. The cold is coming back starting tonight with a bit of snow. Just a dusting, Thank God. I spent two full days chopping up ice so that the oil delivery guy can get to the side of the house safely this week. There was like 2 inch blocks of ice under all that snow. I should have taken a picture. I keep wishing for Spring!

  I started a small project that has been on my to do list. I have those two old Ethan Allen cushioned chairs. I have started one today. First coat of high gloss black is one. It smells like paint around here. I love it! I will find a nice pattern of upholstery fabric for both chairs and I will post before and afters later. I need to buy some gold leaf type paint for the front of feet. I think I really needed to do this to get me kick started into bigger projects later on. So far so good.

 I am not going to elaborate but shitty stuff has been going. So much so that it was really stressing me to the max. But a light was flashed on Friday and it got even better yesterday. I truly believe all things happen for a reason. I will elaborate more later when the shit happens. No counting chickens yet! But I think my stress levels will go down.

 This coming Thursday, I have the lump cut out of me. I am not overtly worrying cause he is pretty sure it is a fatty lipoma. There are no guarantees until he opens me up. The lidocaine cream cost me $26! I will use it once. What the hell am I gonna do with this whole tube. We still have a deductible so I had to pay full price for the shit. I had some green juice today. I am getting back into eating full on healthy. I re-watched a documentary called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. This dude does a 60 day juice fast, loses a ton of weight, got healthy, helped someone else do the same, and adopted a healthy lifestyle after that. Now, I am not doing a juice fast but I think I will drink a green juice between lunch and dinner. Stay away from the beef, pork, and dairy. Plus all the other stuff I blather on about. I have lost inches from being active and I have not gained.  I just need to stop buying crap cause that is what others want. I cannot have it in life so it has to stay out of my house. I will never fit into that purple dress!
Oh....I went to a consignment shop last week. Bought a XL Banana Republic tan safari jacket and a size 18 red raincoat from Lane Bryant. I think I spent $25 on both. They fit great and make me feel great too. Kid #2 looked at my drivers license for shits and grins (renewal next year) and she says it doesn't even look like me now. The man said I am starting to look like the old me. They made me feel happy. One drawback from all this activity...I think I am developing carpal tunnel. Both arms/hands. It is not super bad but some nights I wake up with one or both arms asleep. The other thing is it could be the new bras I bought. Cutting off circulation during the day. I may have to buy new ones when I get a chance.

  That is about it. Weather sucks. Body aches cause of it but I endure. March is right around the corner. And I am working on a project. Good Good Good.

Have a good week and I will update on Thursday/Friday.
 

Running away sounds pleasant

*244*
  It is snowing again but at this point why fight it. I just look at pictures of flowers and gardening ideas. Daylight savings time kicks in on March 9. That is not very far away if you think about it. Sick of the dirty snow.
  I have my surgeon consult appointment tomorrow bright and early. I will have to leave before the rooster. I have to make sure I have all my ducks in a row beforehand. The man took the Jeepo so I am stuck till he gets home. I wont drive the Nissan. It has issues.
 My children are 20 and 25. They are both working on over coming their issues with anxiety and depression. I am glad they are doing that. I am just tired of the whole thing at this point. They are wearing me down. I love them. I know what they go through. I am tired of being the fixer...the punching bag, the cook when the cant function, the cleaner, the step and fetcher, the taxi driver that doesn't get paid. Neither one are in any state to take care of themselves right now. I blame that on their issues and myself. I have coddled them and now I have adults that I support. I SUPPORT THEM!
     And while I do all of that...I have to avoid doing any of these things. I am stressed out to the max most days. I know that isnt good for my health.
 They don't contribute one ounce of money, time, or energy to this home. My goal is to not have them be homeless or living on somebodies couch. Work hard at getting well and work on helping me out. Jesus, I am the sickest person in the bunch but hardly get any help at all. I have to ask all the time. This is why running away sounds good right now. I get to take the Man with me. I am tired of being stressed over THEIR issues. They are adults. They need to deal with it. If they contributed financially and otherwise..I would probably have other reasons to complain (eye roll) but this would be okay. I would not stress cause I just spent $8 on pads for THEM <---never offered to pay.

  I need therapy but cannot afford it right now. I will just wallow until I can. Wish me luck for tomorrow. Hopefully it is a fat lump that is no big deal.

Just another snowball Monday

*246* <---period is coming

 It is snowing again, dear readers. It started off that it was just going to be a dusting. Now we should get about 6 inches of the wet stuff. I had an appointment with the vascular surgeon today but that would be too treacherous of a drive. So they rescheduled me for Valentine`s Day.  It is kinda of good because my gut is feeling kinda shitty. I had a no-no food yesterday. The girls and I went to the annual sale at the Book Barn.  We all got some nice books on a warm gloomy Sunday. Then we went across the street to have Mexican. I had a chorizo gordita. Yes. I ate spicy sausage with peppers AND a soft pillow of loveliness that is a tortilla. It was oh so good! I am paying for it now. No liver pain just in the gut. I will eat light today.
 The snow is coming down at a steady clip...

  I was able to get some choice cookbooks. One called Chipolte..spicy! A salad as main courses one. Plus an Atkins low carb one, that I am using just for the recipes. . I also bought a Oct. 2013 issue o Vegetarian Times for $1. There are some good recipes in that one too. I am thinking of doing butternut squash soup in the crockpot, plus turkey kielbasa with rice and pigeon peas. I was supposed to make them this weekend but others wanted other things. Today I cook what I want. I can only eat a servings spoon of the rice so I will have salad but I wanted to make it. I will probably do it early because the Man has to work tonight. He will need sustenance.

 I had a good appointment with the sleep dr. I am insurance compliant, I am feeling good, and I do not have to see him for six months. Yay! Now let`s hope the appointment with the surgeon goes just as well. You all will roll your eyes but I just have to say that I am afraid. Lumps on the back of your thigh that grow are serious shit. Serious. It could be nothing like a fat blob (lipoma), or it could be something malignant. Those are the two ends of the spectrum. I am nervous. I dont want to deal with anymore. I think I have had my full of the bullshit.

Oh well. I need to get moving. I am doing laundry and I need to start the rice and the soup.
Happy Snow Day!

The Groundhog is dead

 

*245*

  Happy February 1st 2014! Tomorrow is Ground Hog`s day but I feel that it really doesn't matter. This cold shit is gonna last for 6 more weeks and then flooded basements in the Spring. We were blessed with a mild winter last year but this year was our come due. Eh! It is on the warmish side today. If you can call 42 deg F warm. I just finished my deep cleaning for the day. I did my roots and just had a change of plans for dinner. The kid wants breakfast. So I will be a good dooby and oblige her BUT tomorrow I will get my turkey kielbasa with Spanish rice and pigeon peas.

  I was supposed to see the vascular surgeon yesterday. He had to cancel (again) because of an emergency surgery. So they made me the last appointment on Monday. I am a tad nervous. This lump on the back of my thigh is probably nothing serious but it needs to go cause it is getting bigger and makes my leg weak. I was looking at pics of varicose vein clots plus I talked a friend that has them and my bump looks nothing like that. It is not even visible. You can only feel it. Fred said it is hard and doesn't move. Probably the size of a walnut. When I first felt it back last Spring, it was the size of a pea. It doesn't hurt at all. But lately when I walk or exercise, my thigh feels weak. I have endured a shit ton of stuff so I can deal with whatever this is. I am thinking it is just a fat blob.

   I only did the gym thing twice this week. PMS settled in nicely horrifically on Friday. I am good now. Not very hungry. I had a shake for break. Lunch was a banana, three thin corn cakes and a cuties. Just not feeling it today. I am gonna finish up in the kitchen and take a break. Hope you all have a nice weekend.