Door Mat! not me.

Ruby Red Grapefruits/Blood Oranges

*245*
  I had already had plans to make some more ruby red grapefruit jam for my friend, A when I stumbled on these Blood oranges that were $3 per lb. Score! They sell these for 2 for $3 at the regular grocery. I am happy. I was thinking I couldn't afford to do a batch this year.

  I have said this before..I am a door mat to my children. Even the child that isnt even mine. They have me so wrapped that I catch myself buying them luxuries that they cant afford. One works part time with not a living wage. One is doing a side job for pettance and my non child has no job at all. But they all live here completely free and clear. Feeling they have the right to demand stuff but not earning their keep monetarily or house wise. I had a long talk with the man today. I have finally decided that I have had enough. I am not spending one dime on them. They will have to buy all their luxuries. How ever they can. I started today. One asked me how much money I had..I snapped back *none of your business*. They wanted me to buy something they did not have the money for. I said, *sorry, I do not have any money for that*.
  I know it is going to be hard for me but I have to do this. I have not been able to save any money this year because I am shitting part of it away on them. I am done with that. If I want to have something to eat, I will go out and get it. If I want to get eyebrows threaded or walk the mall...I will go on my own. They WILL be mad at me. Doors will be slammed. But they are 25, almost 21, and 20 (21 end of year). They really need to stop sucking off the teet and I really need to stop allowing it.

  This is going to be something I will talk about along the way. I just have to go cold turkey with this. I am going to get a door knob kit with a lock for my closet door. I will put my change jar and cash in there. If I do not have cash...I cannot give it to them. There is no stealing going on but there may be temptation if Mom doesn't buy cigs.

  Hubs and I have decided this will be two fold. First I will cut them off from their luxuries. Then in a couple months, if that does not make them seek better work, we will tell them they have to pay rent. Yes! I am going to make them grow up. Pay rent, do housework, do yardwork, help the family while you are staying here. Free rides are coming to a end.

  There will be some silent treatments, hissy fits, slammed doors..you know..all the stuff adults do when they are told to act like true adults. I have always caved because I did not want to be hated and ignored. That is just something I will get over with the help of my Love and my therapist.

 Wish me luck. Hubs is already a hard ass so he doesnt need any help.

Do not itch the stitch

Karl Lagerfeld Paris March 2014

*245*

   I posted that pic from the Karl Lagerfeld show because I thought it was cool. And because I do not want to instantly freak you out with my incision picture. It is nsfb <---not safe for breakfast. I did not realize that the surgeon was going to do actual surgery in the office. I thought it was like just below the skin. Oh no no Nanette! He had to cut through all the skin...as the picture will show forthwith. The surgeon was good and nice. He took out the tumor which he said was a lipoma. Because of it`s size, it still has to be biopsied. He also fixed a varicose vein that was near the tumor. I have five stitches and I go back on Friday to have them taken out plus find out results of the biopsy. I am glad that it is what it is and  I can stop stress eating. I have a picture because I told him how Kid #2 had wanted to see but couldnt come. He had his assistant take a couple snaps so she could. This is why I have this grossness to share.
 You wanna see the picture now?

Lipoma tumor taken from my thigh

 He  neglected to give me a script for the pain I endured on Friday and Saturday. I called early Friday morning for them to call something in. Every time I sat down or got up..I yelped. The covering peeled off so Fred had to fix that. I was a assy mess..LOL
 The sad part is the Dr said it was all set meaning it was called in, but it wasnt. He was gone so I just had to deal. I survived. The stitches are itchy today but I will preoccupy so that I do not touch. That would be bad. The incision just stopped hurting.
 
  All is well otherwise. We had some snow showers this morning. I miss that hour of sleep we lost. And I have to make a batch of grapefruit jam for my friend. I want to do today but we shall see. Lazy might take over. I do have some plants that need repotting and it is warm enough now. So much to do, just little ole me.
  I will let you all know if it is anything serious but it probably isnt. Happy Monday!

Death of a cactus and other Thursday stuff

  Fred and I went out this morning to do a couple errands and bring the kid to school. Cold as a witches tit out there, I tell ya. I get home and we are talking and I see dirt in the corner. Fucking animals!!
   It looks like it was a tag team effort. One of the cats was trying to jump up on shelf, didn't make it and in the process of coming down, knocked over my favorite cactus. Then there were chew marks on the end of each spire. I am thinking Ruby was enjoying it. The pot was broken in half and dirt was everywhere. We just threw it away. Now, it started off as one of those $1.99 teeny tiny Walmart cacti but it grew really nice and big over the years. My favorite out of the bunch. Pisses me right the fuck off actually but there isn't anything I can do. I will try to find another one at Walmart in the Spring and start all over.

 I was lucky to find the chocolate bark that I use to make the bon bons. I have to search through my stash to find the pink salt and I have to freeze the strawberries this morning. I have to make bon bons my friends. My list is getting longer. Bon Bons, Orange/Ginger marmalade, Strawberry jam, sugar scrubs, and two kinds of gourmet popcorn. All this and it is the 13 of December. I want to mail out a small jar of strawberry jalapeno and some bon bons to a friend in Maine. It wont get there by Christmas but he will still appreciate it.  Today I am going to clean house, make sauce for pasta and meatball, and decide which fucking thing I am going to make today. I think it will be bon bons. The kid has a friend that LURVS them and she is going to India over the Christmas holiday to visit family. I think she wants to give them to her before she leaves.  I found out that blood oranges do not come into the stores until January or February so I will have to wait to give that a try then. I may make a bunch and store it for next Christmas.
 Plus I am dealing with going through the two store circular`s for grocery shopping. I think I have added too much extras. I just remembered that I have to go to my ENT tomorrow at 3:15pm. Not looking forward to the going home part. I-95 out of New Haven on a Friday around 5pm is a fucking nightmare of epic proportions. I think I will make Fred drive it home so I do not have a conniption.

 This is my Thursday. Boring old Heidi doing boring old things and talking about it. Hope you all have a more pleasant today!

Ear Progress

 My appointment with my ENT is on Friday afternoon. I wanted to give you an update on how I felt. There are times when the incision still hurts. The whole thing will be sore. Fred will look at it and he says it is fine. I am past the point of any infection. It was sewn in a folded manner or so it feels so it is a very noticeable scar. I guess as time goes on, you wont see it when I pull my hair back. But now you can. The outside of my ear is still numb. I am wondering if that is it. Is this how it will always feel? I am not sneezing or coughing up anymore yucky debris either. All of that is gone. As for the leaking out of my nose. It is still doing it but not as much as before. I will let him know. It is probably nothing. I do not feel run down like I used to.  If infection can make you not want to do anything, then I bet that was a small part of my problem. I am still not a well chica by any means but I am able to do more now. We do not even know how old the infection was. Crazy huh?

  Look what I saw this morning when I was out warming up the Jeep. It was kind of raining kind of snowing but it was too warm for it. And the sun was out so I caught myself a pretty rainbow. It didn't last long. Maybe five minutes. Made me smile this morning. I wanted to chase after it and get some of that gold everyone keeps talking about.

  It is in the upper 40s today. Sun is supposed to stay out. No heat has been turned on for the past couple days. Loving it.
I made the strawberry jalapeno jam yesterday. I wanted to let you know that if you wanted to make it, you use a standard strawberry jam recipe but add in 7 jalapenos minced in food processor. Now, I used the whole of all seven. Seeds and all. You could do it that way or you could have a couple with seeds and clean the rest. It is up to you how hot you want to make it. My friends that love hot said it was really good jam. I am sorry to say that I fucked up the regular strawberry jam though. Too much sugar in a batch of not enough fruit. Plus I was tired and my back was hurting. Not paying attention.  I did not toss it. I canned it for OUR consumption. I will make more this week. I get paid tomorrow so I can replenish the strawberry, sugar and pectin. I have to make a decision on the marmalade anyway. I have to work on the kid`s gifts, I need to buy gift bags, and I have to deliver the jam after I am done with it. I am told that I have to save the money from this time around. I balked at it for a bit but I understand. I need to save money. My plan is to save at least $100 a week. I could save more but I am starting there.
I think my mind is all over the place today because Xmas is not very far away and no body else has made any gifts. I feel that if I am the only one that made an effort, what was the point? I had said in the beginning that i did not want to do gift exchange anymore. One kid suggested we make home made gifts. I ran with that. I see that I am the only one that is doing it. No body has brought any supplies in the house or asked me for cash to buy supplies. I will do what I planned to do but I feel that I will be the ONLY one with not a present under the tree. Kind of sad, huh? As much as I do for this family, you couldn't bother to make me anything. If I get some hurried up card stock scribbled card, I think that would be worse than nothing. I will try really hard to be positive though. Very very positive!
  I hope you have got all your Christmas gifts under the tree. If not, that is okay. Not many people can celebrate like they used to. This is the first year that I have not bought one gift. I just cannot do it. Well, I could but then which bill wouldn't get paid?
I am going to wrap this up for today. I have both sinks full of jam covered pots and utensils. I told you my back hurt! :)
Now I pay the price. This will be tons of fun.

Took me awhile

No presents under there yet but soon

The tree is finally decorated. Natalie had put the majority of the ornaments on the tree but she forgot to put the beaded garland on. Too late now. I aint taking everything down to do that. The boxes of glass ornaments sat there for a week. Yesterday I finally gave in and put them on the tree. One year I was yard saling and this lady had a couple boxes full of old glass ornaments. Not just balls but Santas, a taxicab, and acorns. So many designs. She was getting divorced and the ornaments came from HIS Mother. Now she could have just thrown them away or broken them but she sold them. And now we enjoy them every year. I think we have had them for over 5 years now.  Milo has started climbing the tree again this year. He is our marmalade. He is going to realize that one day he will be too fat to do that. Oliver is trying to be oh so slick and steal a piece of bacon off my plate as I type this. Maybe I should stop now and pay attention to my brunch.

Today is definitely jam day. I totally misplaced the canner rack in the house. Fred and I could NOT find it anywhere and I used it like last month. I called around and found one a few towns over. It was a half hour drive both ways for Natalie and I. But I have the piece that is critical so that your jars don't crack in the canner from the heat. The strawberries are defrosting nicely. I think today will be the lavender jelly. Kitchen is clean. I just need to change my clothes, marinate the chicken for dinner and get moving.
 The strawberry jam and strawberry jalapeno will have to be done tomorrow because I am defrosting the shit now.
 I have to make 24 half pints for other people. Whatever is leftover out of the batches, is mine to can for us and I have a couple friends that would like some also. I have to make another batch of blood orange marmalade before the 19th but if they do not come out in the stores, I will just make orange ginger flavored. That is another 8 half pints of those for other people. I am getting compensated for my work. The money will help pay for Christmas dinner! This is my Sunday.
 I changed dinner plans last night and we had hot dogs on buns instead. Tonight will be roasted chicken breasts (on the bone) with mashed taters and string beans. It has been unseasonably warm here in my part of New England. No snow accumulations at all. I let the dogs out and it felt like early Spring. You know like late March/Early April where you still have to wear a sweater but it feels green outside. It is weird to feel that way in early December.
  Oh! I changed my post op appointment this week. I will be going on Friday instead of Tuesday. It was more economical for us to do that. It costs $25 in gas just for the trip up and back and I just wont have that on Tuesday. Plus paying the co-pay for the appointment.
Fred just came in with my 4 Sunday papers. There are two sets of coupons in each one. Two of the papers were given an extra sleeve of coupon. I have a shitload now but I know that is just a drop in the bucket. I have two objectives this week. I need to make a list of all the meals for dinner that I know how to cook and the family likes. Like a master list. I have to figure out if the printer is truly dead or did I flip a switch I cannot find (you know those printer switches that locks it when you are moving it), and I need to buy a binder and those plastic baseball card inserts. I have decided that I am not going to sort by area of the store but alphabetically. If I am looking for a coupon for Tide, I will go to the T section. Much easier for my brain.  I am also going to be meeting my niece and her family for dinner on Friday after my appointment. She is one year younger than me. The last time we saw each other was before I had Natalie. Over 20 years. I am not good with trying new things but after having been sick all year and surgeries..I think it is time for me to change. Fred, Natalie and I are going to her house for dinner. Chelsea has to work unfortunately. Hoping we have a nice time.

I also wanted to say that I have been back to weighing myself recently and it has steadily been 262. Booyah!
I know. That is a long way from being a super model of any caliber and I am not looking for that anyway. But very close to 250. I think I am going to go for a push to get to it for the new year. Once I am 250, I can fight that other 50 this year. I may be right were I am at right now in Dec 2013 OR I could surpass my goal. I just wanna be 210. That is good for me. That is all I ever wanted to be. I just need to get a good pair of walking shoes so I do not fuck up my feet again. I think that is what I am afraid of.

I have wasted a chunk of YOUR Sunday blah blah blahing along about me and what is going on. Hope you are having a great YOU today. Have a good one and enjoy the last of the weekend.
That is about it for my plans for today and the next coming days.

I saved money!!!!

I actually saved money yesterday when I went grocery shopping. I have been reading this book, Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half with America`s Cheapest Family.  I have not gotten super far into it yet but enough to know that they are teaching how to shop once a month and cook some of your meals for that month at one time to freeze or OAMC (once a month cooking). I had no idea that is what this was about. They do not say you shouldn't use coupons but they say you do not have to KILL yourself being a Coupon Queen. It starts you off easy. Try to shop just for this week only. You look at all the sales flyers, see what you already have in the house, and plan out your meals for the week. I did that.  If you have coupons to correspond with the sales, great! I am just a beginner in the coupon thing so I only had like four coupons to use total. I have to see why my printer is not working and either fix it or get a new one. Printing coupons online is the way to go too.
 I wrote out my lists of the two stores. We did get a couple things not on either list. Hamburger became an unadvertised sale at Stop and Shop. I needed it but had not added it to the lists. Sometimes if something good pops up, you have to grab it.
 I saved $40 at Stop and Shop and I saved $30 at Shoprite. I also bought B1G1 cereals at Rite Aid. I spent $125 (which I usually spend) and I came home with more than double the groceries! I had chicken breasts, big family pack of hamburger, two things of bacon, Italian sausage for my Tuscan soup, hot dogs, and a big family pack of pork chops that was used last night for dinner.
 Plus all the stuff I needed for this weeks meals. Fred and I can eat leftovers.

So I saved money and it was a rush and I will do it again. I have a crisis right now. We cannot find the metal rack that goes inside the canner so that I can make jam today. I could drive 20 minutes away and spend $6 for a new one but part of me doesnt want to spend the money until Friday.

First day of the end of the world

My Mom had a fur like that and she wore her hair like that.

Ahh! December 1st. The countdown for Xmas, the end of the year, and the end of the world. I need to leave here soon because I have to get Lu at the groomer. She is getting her last cut of 2012 with a dyed pink tail. So chic. I will be back before you know it............................................................. 12:12pm.
 Lu looks good and I brought the groomer a couple jars of my jam for Christmas. In the winter, Lu gets a summer cut on her face/head and a winter cut on her body. More hair to keep her warm, less hair so she can see longer. She got her tail dyed pink and it is cute as hell. No fleas.  Her itching is because of the weather and the pollen. As cold as it is today (38 deg F now) it is going to be in the 50s tomorrow and the rest of the week! Saves me some money, honey!

  Today I am going to make jam. After I am done here, I am going to hull 5 packages of strawberries. I want to put them in the freezer for a bit. They work better for me if I freeze them first. I am going to make strawberry, strawberry jalapeno, and lavender. A friend has a table at a winter farmer`s market in the next state over. He has room on his table and he wants to see if he can sell some of my jam. It is a good time to sell it because it is the Xmas season. People want to give it as gifts. I need to make some anyway. We have one jar of regular strawberry left in the household stash. I should just make a ton of this shit to always have on hand anyway.
 That will be my day. Making jam and we are going to have fried fish, baked mac and cheese, and maybe some string beans for dinner. Fred goes back to work on Monday. I loved having him around and I will miss him but it is time for his ass to go. LOL

 Boring cold day. Hopefully I wont burn my hand jamming. I hope you have a good Saturday!

Coffee Day and a Fruitful weekend

Remember the coffee grinders at the check out stands?

*261*

  I am off the diuretic. Thursday night was it for me. I am laying in bed, watching tv, and my heart starts racing for no reason. It stopped thankfully. I did not take the pill yesterday and I called the Dr office. They told me to stop taking it too. I felt so much better yesterday. I mean, I still feel like donkey shit but not big heaping piles of it that I have to dig out of. Big difference. So I will find out what is what at my appt next month.  I need to keep on the trend of not eating as much as I was before. I was eating my meals but no snacks. Plus, I have been eating less because there are other people to feed in the house.
  I made a nice big pot of coffee this morning and drank two cups in honor of National Coffee Day. This should be a solemn occasion with parades and fan fare. But spending it at home with my favorite mug is good enough.
  This weekend is the last of September and I am going to enjoy my time of not feeling shitty. I am up to my armpits in family packs of chicken. Chicken legs were 77c a lb and whole breasts were $1.49 a lb. Now, I hate chicken legs with a white hot passion but at 77c a lb, I cannot ignore. Hubby wants me to make Chicken Cacciatore for him and his friend for Sunday football watching. I went out and got an extra pack of legs for them so they can eat like kings. I never liked it growing up as a kid. I am pretty sure it tasted amazing but I do not like dark meat chicken. But I will learn to deal with it because it is cheap and cheap is good!
 A friend of ours helped us out with some stuff around here and part of his payment besides cash was I am going to make him some jam. He wanted habenero jelly but I am not burning my eyeballs off for that! So I compromised and I am making Strawberry Jalapeno jam. It is basically the same recipe for standard strawberry jam but you are adding a cup of processed jalapenos in there.
And I will attempt the Rosedale. Busy weekend ahead for me but I sit here on my ass. Oh well.

Okay..I am going to do the chicken now...Going.....Going.....Going.....Poof!

Monthly Reminder

She a cutie!

*270*

I have said before that I frequent a site called Monthly Info. It is a period tracker and I think some women use it to know when they are ovulating. I used it so I would know when it was coming. I did not want to have to count anymore. Plus my periods were all over the map anyway, that I was always wrong. After you have been using it for a while, it can average out when your next period is even when your cycle times are crazy. Give it a try. Why am I talking about this now? Because I got an email today telling me that my period is two days away.Ahahahaha!
I am feeling good today. I took the dogs out this morning. I did some raking. I hooked the hose up outside. I think after I do what I want to do in here, I am going to get some work done outside. No lifting! But I wanted to finish cleaning out all the beds. I hooked up the hose too so that means it is OFFICIALLY spring!
I think I am going to bake some cookies too. I am in the mood. Not in the actual eating but the filling of my massive cookie jar. I want to do something today. Oh! How about the lavendar jelly? I think I will do THAT!

Jams, Jellies, and Marmalades

 I had my follow-up ultrasound this morning. I drank plenty of water so that I was fully hydrated. It was still painful this time around but I did not have to drink more and wait for the bladder to fill. I asked the tech if she could tell me one simple thing: Is the 6cm cyst on the left still there? She said she couldn't, but the Dr office will get the results this afternoon. I do not have an appointment until next week. More waiting....

  I am planning on expanding my jam and jelly horizons. I am going to make some for my husband`s godfather and he is going to sell them at his stall at the Farmer`s Market each week. He will pay for the supplies. I want to try some different things along with the old standards. I will do strawberry jam, apple butter, peach preserves, and orange marmalade. I wanted to know if there were things you like or that you would love to try out in a flavor. I also do a really nice raspberry/jalapeno jelly. Tastes good on crackers!
I always grow alot of basil so I am going to see  if I can find some jelly that uses that. But in a non-gross way. LOL I have to get rid of this cabinet behind me (I am giving it away) so that i can buy two wire shelves like the one we already own. I want to can a lot this year. Times are tough and if I can get some foods in jars for the winter, all the better. Especially the local corn in the summer..but I am digressing. We will talk about that at another time.
 I am not doing grape jelly. I heard it is a pain in the ass and I am not in the mood to ruin a batch right at this point in time.
Would you eat Lemon or Lime Marmalade?
Pear Jam or Jelly?
Lavender Jelly?
I will keep searching online for ideas and start jumping in and trying it out.

Blackberry Jam was successful!

*269*

They jelled all nice for Mama. I was worried with the new pectin that it might stay running and all the picking would have been for nothing. They are beautiful! Next up is the strawberry jam.
No gym today. I had a cyst that popped and I do not think exercising is going to be good for my healing process. I will clean house instead and take long soaks in the bathtub.
My appointment with my GP is on Thursday and I have a appointment with gyno next Wednesday (cyst). We shall see if any of these things that are plaguing me are related, not related, and maybe just some fluke shit and I am fine and dandy. Still have cough, still tired as hell, but the lymph node is acting weird. Yesterday I could not feel it at all, today it is front and center. My luck..it will disappear on the day I go for my physical and he will say that it good! And I will be like, Umm, why was it there? Will he care about the other symptoms then?
I need to stop cause I can get myself worked up over shit. I have had so many health issues in my later years that have come up to actually be something and me not being a hypo. I just do not like when I get all wrapped up in it.
Ugh. Okay. I need to eat something for breakfast/lunch. Maybe a big old omelet with bacon!

Veggies up the ying yang

Baby Eggplants/Farmer`s Market

*269*<----the scale actually said 267.5 this morning!


I can fit into my purple pants!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been waiting since June to fit into them. They are from Salvation army $3. Deep purple cotton pants with the ties at the bottom to make them shorter. Nice Spring/Summer pair. They fit! And not like a fucking sausage!!! Woot! There it is! Woot! There it is! Okay I am done now..
What do I do though? I had Popeyes chicken and a apple fritter for lunch/breakfast. I was running late this morning so I never got any breakie in. See how I am justifying the apple fritter?
  I went to the Farmer`s market this morning and picked up quite a few goodies. I have a full bag of tomatillos and some jalapenos (dammit! I forgot the cilantro!) to make the green salsa to can. I got a few of the eggplants in the picture. Some purple, some of those red ones, the small long lavender/white ones. I bought a nice stuffing squash, tomatoes, garlic, onions, some ginger gold apples, and a big berry pie. oh and some stuffing mushrooms.
 So I had a good errand day and I have to take Natalie in a bit to get her eyebrows done. Mine will have to wait till next week. Do not always have it all the time.

Milo makes it impossible to type at computer

Right now at this very moment, Milo is standing on the backrest of the computer chair and he is pulling my braid. Little fucker!

   My physical is on the 26th. I still have the lymph node poking out in all it`s glory. I still have the cough too. Everything is still the same. At least it has not gotten worse for me. I would not even know what to consider worse..sleeping a couple hours longer? Cause my ass can sleep. I have to be dragged out of the bed kicking and screaming cause I am so exhausted. And this exhausted is different then my usual tired. When you have Chronic Fatigue..you can really tell if it the same old shit or a whole new set of problems.  So I wait another weekend. That makes it 3 weeks that I have noticed the Node.
 I have a whole 7 days to wait and it might be nothing. Doesn't that suck? I mean it IS good that it nothing but to fret over it all week long ...well... three weeks long and just have him say..oh that is nothing.
Speaking of..My mustache tat on my finger is going to have to be touched up. It is peeling and flaking away and there are empty spots were black should be. NOT GOOD! It will have to be free and it will have to hurt like a motherfucker. But this is the best piece so far. People love it. I whipped it out at the bank. One teller saw and she started laughing. Then I just stood there like nothing. They all thought she was nuts.
Jam this weekend!

Jam IS the plan Man!

Pretty!

*269*

I think it is time to start making some jam. See that jar in the picture? They sell those at Walmart. I have two of them in my possession but I need to go back and pick up like 4 packages of 4. I want to put my blackberry jam in those. Blackberry jam is special. Blackberries cost a lot of money in the store and they are a pain in the ass to harvest. Special! So they deserve to be in half pint jars so people can get a taste. I put strawberry jam in pint jars because I consider it more utilitarian in breakfast life.
 Just because I think it though, does not make it so. Since my energy is in the crapper, I need to plan out what I am going to do. So I think I will go to Walmart today to get the jars and tomorrow I might have psyched myself up enough to make the jam.
 After I do the blackberry, then I will make the strawberry. I have tons of strawberries, 4 bags of sugar, and oodles of pectin waiting in the wings. I love this time of year. I love making jam.