Thursday, March 13, 2014

Door Mat! not me.

Ruby Red Grapefruits/Blood Oranges

  I had already had plans to make some more ruby red grapefruit jam for my friend, A when I stumbled on these Blood oranges that were $3 per lb. Score! They sell these for 2 for $3 at the regular grocery. I am happy. I was thinking I couldn't afford to do a batch this year.

  I have said this before..I am a door mat to my children. Even the child that isnt even mine. They have me so wrapped that I catch myself buying them luxuries that they cant afford. One works part time with not a living wage. One is doing a side job for pettance and my non child has no job at all. But they all live here completely free and clear. Feeling they have the right to demand stuff but not earning their keep monetarily or house wise. I had a long talk with the man today. I have finally decided that I have had enough. I am not spending one dime on them. They will have to buy all their luxuries. How ever they can. I started today. One asked me how much money I had..I snapped back *none of your business*. They wanted me to buy something they did not have the money for. I said, *sorry, I do not have any money for that*.
  I know it is going to be hard for me but I have to do this. I have not been able to save any money this year because I am shitting part of it away on them. I am done with that. If I want to have something to eat, I will go out and get it. If I want to get eyebrows threaded or walk the mall...I will go on my own. They WILL be mad at me. Doors will be slammed. But they are 25, almost 21, and 20 (21 end of year). They really need to stop sucking off the teet and I really need to stop allowing it.

  This is going to be something I will talk about along the way. I just have to go cold turkey with this. I am going to get a door knob kit with a lock for my closet door. I will put my change jar and cash in there. If I do not have cash...I cannot give it to them. There is no stealing going on but there may be temptation if Mom doesn't buy cigs.

  Hubs and I have decided this will be two fold. First I will cut them off from their luxuries. Then in a couple months, if that does not make them seek better work, we will tell them they have to pay rent. Yes! I am going to make them grow up. Pay rent, do housework, do yardwork, help the family while you are staying here. Free rides are coming to a end.

  There will be some silent treatments, hissy fits, slammed know..all the stuff adults do when they are told to act like true adults. I have always caved because I did not want to be hated and ignored. That is just something I will get over with the help of my Love and my therapist.

 Wish me luck. Hubs is already a hard ass so he doesnt need any help.


  1. It was good to see your name at the Greenleaf Forum! I am back from a long hiatus. We had a daughter and son-in-law living with us for a year and talked with them about starting to pay rent. You know, it didn't take them long to find their own place! We asked for 25% of their pay.

  2. That is part of the plan. First I stop buying. Then (since it is Spring), I will give them tasks to do around the house. And then right around Summertime, I will give them a deadline. You have to start paying rent starting September 1. If they are too ornery for my liking, that date will be sooner.
    Yesterday one wanted something. I said no. She said Why? <---LOL
    I said cause I dont want too and I walked away. I think it has not sunk in yet.
    Glad to see you Debra!