It is a gonna be a two coffee pod kinda day

This is Julien. Kid #1 calls him Bashir. Shout out if you get reference 

*236* <-----eating things I shouldnt it. Make it STAHP!

  It is 932am est and I have been up since 530ish am. We are in the midst of another Nor`easter here on the shore. They are saying we could get a foot of snow when it is all said and done. The snow was impressive earlier but no so much now. Unless we get some more banding going on, I think the thought of epic snowfall is a bust. We shall see.

   Again, I have missed too many weeks in a row and for that I am sorry. My past couple weeks have been very stressful. It always seems like shit storms comes in threes. I will break some of these things down, some I will not because I have to keep a little air of mystery about me. I will try to add a positive at the end of each thing because that is how I am trying to live my life. Except I have no postives to say about my computer life. First the iPad died. I cannot afford to replace it. Now I found out that this HP Stream that I bought for myself is a $200 piece of garbage. Windows 10 is too large for the gigs on this things so it has already out of memory (bought in January). I cannot update it at all. I cannot upgrade the memory because of the kind of memory it has. And you guessed it, I cannot afford to replace it. I still have the Chrome book as a back up when I can no longer use this one. No positives for this declaration at all. And we do not get refunds so a computer will not happen then. Oh well. Maybe the Apple Fairy will gift me. Probably not.

Can I get a discount card on Cat Litter?

  First up, you have probably seen the pictures of Julien on the IG feed. He has been Kid #2 and my secret this past month. This lady came into the office with her cat and the litter. The office was going to adopt one of the litter when they were ready because one of the vet cats passed away. All the girls (3 left) are very much older and they wanted to bring up a youngin while the girls were still around. Kid #2 asked me to come in and see the kittens cause they were so tiny. Julien is the runt. He had to be mine. We received him two weeks ago during the last storm. We also found out this week he contracted round worms from his mother (the whole litter did) but he had his first de-worming and he will be fine. He is a little spit fire. He leaps. He runs like the wind. Last week he weigh 1.86 lbs. He is too small to be so fearless but he is. It took about a week but everyone has adapted. I am now OFFICIALLY a crazy cat lady. I had no plan at all to get another cat. We had three. Dont need another. But it happened and we are happy. He is very lovey to everyone. He is black but he still has a bit of his fever coat. That will go away as the months go by.

 I am the IV queen

 Last week I had the upper endoscopy. Nothing impressive. No ulcers. I still have gastritis, esophagitis, and he noted my hiatal hernia. Biopsies were taken. I have not heard anything back so that tells me that all is well with that. But, the hernia is probably the reason I am having trouble swallowing. It can get it the point where it pushes up a little higher in your chest and can make you have difficulties. I am supposed to take care of my Acid reflux but I cannot take PPIs because of the Cdiff.  I will just deal with what I have gut wise. If the hernia ever gets too bad, I will have the surgery. But as for now, no no no.
  Yesterday, I had my Mammo and my boob MRI with contrast. That all went well too. Of course they cannot tell me anything. I have an appointment with the boob surgeon next week. Lets hope I hear NOTHING before that appointment. I want no phone calls about the scans. All is well and they found nothing.

 When one door closes, Another one opens

We found out that hubby`s last cleaning job was given to some other company. Nothing do with him or his performance. Just company restructuring. That left us with alot of money a month out of our budget. I lost it. Completely lost it. I remember my friend (and mechanic) said he had someone that had a cleaning company. Long story short, we will be making approximately 2/3rds back. Still money missing but not catastrophic. We can work with that and hopefully there will be more to come.
The paid internship fell through. They could not work around the rules of paying me so that fell apart. I had decided that I would never get my hopes up for a job again. Now I have a chance at maybe another paid internship with our local cable company. That is actually the first job I applied for and had not done so well on the phone interview. Not bad. Just inexperienced at it. Now I know how to do all that. The company actually does participate in internships so we shall see. They need workers. I need a job! Wish my ass luck cause I am really tired of applying for stuff.

Girl, you need to stop

Because of a bunch of stressful stuff, I have not been eating right. Bread. Noodles. Rice. Potato. Junk. Pizza! You name it, it is going down. I have to really do it now. My doctor is gonna raise my insulin at my appt in May. Now it is the middle of March and I have not lost a significant amount. I have a plan. I am going to slowly slack off from now until Saturday. Saturday I will be taking my first Methotrexate shot..did I tell you about this? let me look....I guess I havent. The rhemy changed my methotrexate from a pill to a shot so it does not effect my gut like the pill did. I had to wait till this cold was all over before I can take the first shot. So, Saturday will be the first shot and the first day back on LCHF fully. All the junk in the house will be gone/ I will have set myself up with good for me snacks and I will be ready to go. I have to lose at least 10 more pounds by the beginning of May. I will do this. I need to do this! As i eat a slice of leftover pizza for breakfast/lunch.
Crap! 49 days until May 1, 2018!

Housework sucks

  Since I am *snowbound* today, I am going to get some cleaning done. I have to change the hose on the sump pump (it sprung a few leaks). I have to water all the plants. I will do the plants after I finish up on here. They are priority. I have a few that cannot wait for Spring so that I can repot them. When you have a boisterous kitten, you realize how dusty your house is. Pulling stuff out and vacuum underneath is going to happen in the livingroom today. Has to be done. I will polish all the furniture in the there and I will be good till next week. Okay. I ate one small slice of pizza. I think I am going to throw the other two away. Not gonna eat them. Going...going...gone. I tossed it in the trash and smushed it in the trash. Not that I would ever ever never eat that now but I felt it needed that extra Fuck you for being there so that I would eat it.


Okay...it is really time for me to do some stuff. I hope all is well with you. Stay out of the snow if you can help it. And I will be back next week.

Attack of the virus

*230*

  I was germed by someone and that is the reason no post this past Sunday. I am just feeling kind of okay today. I do not know if it was the a watered down version of the flu or a nasty cold but it sucked. The weekend was a blur of dayquil, cough drops, and pee pads. I say I do not know because I didnt have a fever but I was feverish. I had aches in my legs but it only lasted for a day. I was sick as a dog but I did not feel like I was dying. That is why it could have been a watered down version because I did have the flu shot this year. Even though that has been deemed to only be about 20% effective. I have a nagging leftover cough and my bladder needs time to recover but otherwise, I am gonna be okay. The laundry will get done.

Paid Internship

  I am thisclose to having a paid internship with a very large company in my area. I am not going to say what or where at this point. It will be 3 months to start off and can go to a max of 6 months. I will be able to use it as experience and filler on my resume. I need the administrative work to help show that I know stuffs. Just give me a chance! If they like me and vice versa AND they have a job to fill, I could be hired at some point. The wheels are rolling with this so it could be very soon. I also have another job that is very exciting and that is being reviewed. I have not had an interview for it yet but I will be positive. I had contact with the HR department already for that one. I am not putting all my hopes on it but it would be good if this one were to happen also. So I have balls in the air. Who would have ever thought when I started this blog that I would be close to going back in the working world? I wouldnt have. I try not to obsessively look at my email. It is like I am WILLING them to email me back with a time to come in for an interview. Come to me. Come to me. You want me to work for you!

No Boobs for You

  Because of this wretched ick that has befallen me, I had to cancel my boob MRI and Mammo. Plus I had to move my appointment with the boob surgeon so that it is after my scans. That will all happen in March now. I am also going to be able to get my upper endoscopy after all. The gastro is having someone else in her practice do it on a Monday so that Hubs can take me. My gut has felt better since I stopped taking the Methotrexate pills. I saw the Rheumy this week and he has switched me to injections instead. I will give myself a shot once a week. He says that it bypasses the gut so I wont have to worry about that being an issue. It was working so well for me too. Now all my patches have come back and brought friends with them. The pains I was feeling before are back also. I hope the shots do not give me any issues because I really want this to work.

Gotta Make Money, Honey

 I really really really need to get on the selling train. I have been so lazy about it. I have boxes of shit to put on Etsy and I have not even moved a muscle towards doing it. This past week has been a wash out because I have been sick, but that does not explain the past few months. I have literally have tons of shit to sell. I need the motivation. I know money is a motivation but that doesn't seem to be enough to force me to do it. I gotta DO it so these totes can stop staring at me. There are totes full of stuff right behind me. They are there because I have to photograph, post, and put them in a place for when they sell. I need to get boxes and bags and bubble wrap. Give me the motivation to get this started!! I know once I do it, I will continue to do it. I am one of those kind of people. You have to push me off the cliff and then I will fly. 
  I have a big dilemma. It has come time to pay for my garden beds at the community garden. I do not want to be there anymore. I do not like the way it is being run and last year all of our beds were taken over by ants that like to bite. We are not allowed to use chemicals and the people that run the place did not help us at all. I think that is why our peppers did not flourish at all like they have before. There is alot of weird stuff going on at the garden that I am not going to go into. Lets just say that the person running it is an asshole elitist and we will leave it like that. So my dilemma is there is a guy that is selling 4 foot, 100 gallon galvanized steel animal feeders for $50 a piece (or best offer) and I could get four of these and put them in the front yard. Fill them with compost and not have to do the community garden thing anymore. But even at $50 a piece...that is $200. I want to get four of them while he has them because of their small size and when am I going to get an opportunity like this again?
 But I am not supposed to be spending money. What would you do? Ugh! I told him I didn't get paid till the end of the month so we shall see what I do. I will either do it or not do it.

RIP iPad

 My iPad is dead. Okay, not completely dead but she is having issues with the screen. It started acting up a month ago. Yesterday it finally went. I could get the screen up long enough to email myself all the pictures I had saved on it. It is a iPad mini and I won it in a contest. I have had it for five years. It almost never left the house and I used it ever night when I went to bed. I miss it. The screen was big enough to watch videos but small enough that it was not cumbersome. It helped me so much when I was sick or healing. I will not replace it with a android one. NO. I went on the Apple website, I saw this one and I am in love but the price. After taxes, apple care, and such...it is $527. I know I could buy it someplace else but I like the protection you get when you buy it at Apple. Plus I can get a free engraving on it. I was going to call it Heidi`s Toy. 
 It is okay. Maybe if I get one of these jobs, I can save up for it. That gives me a little hope that I will eventually have one again.

That is it for today. I have breakfast/lunch cooking and then I am going to dive into some laundry and recipes. I have been slowly pecking away at the mess in the kitchen. I was literally in bed for three straight days. So maybe it was the flu. I hope you all are not having the flu or a cold. Enjoy the last grasps of Winter. March is coming and I am dreaming of Spring.

I am not talking politics..today

*223* <----I could be. I could be not. Whose to know?

  First off, I am not gonna talk politics on here. If something horrifically horrifically worse then what is going on happens. Say eminent nuclear destruction, assassinations, or national famine..I am keeping my opinions to myself. There is enough bad energy swirling around. We do not need me adding to it.

   Yesterday was the Hubs birthday. 51 is a very good year. He was feeling under the weather though. This weather takes a toll on you sometimes. Kid #2 and I shopped and cooked a big dinner. We treated it like a holiday as it should be. I made carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. And no, they were not LCHF/Keto. The meal was. The dessert was not. If was a beautiful day, he was/is loved, and I have a shit ton of dishes awaiting me after I finish this.
   I had two revelations this weekend. One is that popcorn in any form is a big no for me. When we went to the store, there was a chic handing out a free coupon with a bag  of something called Kernel Seasons Chrunchin Kernels Ranch flavor.  Basically they are flavored half popped popcorn kernels.  I have basically stayed away from popcorn since the cdiff. I might eat one or two stray pieces here or there with no problems. I wanted to see how it tasted. I am not exaggerating when I say that I ate probably a 1/2 to one full teaspoon of it.  It tasted good. I would highly recommend as a snack if you are not eating LCHF or if you have gut issues.  But if you are like me, stay the fuck away from them. It felt like nails going through my colon. I had to lay down for an hour while it worked it`s way out of me. I felt so sick. My gut is still sensitive today after the fact.
Revelation #1: Stay the hell away from popped corn in all forms. 

  I am not going to talk about why Hubs was sick cause that is none of our business. But it lasted for a couple days. It was unpleasant but he is much better this morning. I was trying to figure out what triggered it. The only thing that came to mind was our diet. We had been eating full fledged keto from May-November. Then it slowly flew off the rails. We still eat low carb high fat but not to the extent that we did before. We would cheat here and there. I think the woe that we were doing was helping him immensely. He did not suffer at all the whole time we were eating that way.  So yeah.
Revelation #2: Eating Keto is keeping us healthy. 

  I will just deal with the keto flu and the massive cravings to come. We are back on this WOE!  I packed his lunch this morning. He will have foods to eat while on the road. I have to go to the store to pick up cheeses because we are totally out. I have to hard boil some eggs too. I have been doing that all along but they will save me in the coming weeks. I am also going to make some fat bombs for the freezer. We have like 6 cupcakes left from yesterday. I am hoping that Kid #2 just brings them to work tonight. That would be ideal. They were faboo btw. I used Paula Dean`s recipe for both the cakes and the frosting. I cooked them for 35 minutes. Those are chopped pecans on top.

  Kid #2 has brought up a interesting proposition. She wants to start a YouTube channel with me. I want to research it all first. I will have to have the laptop my friend gave me worked over. You really need a good lappy to edit your videos. This Chromebook wont cut it. We could use our iPhones to record. She wants me to do cooking and mukbangs but with a keto twist. She wants to do her own mukbangs also. A mother daughter kind of thing. As you can see, I love to blog so I would be doing it cause I like to do it. If any followers or money comes with it, that would be great too.  I will let you all know if and when that happens. Mukbangs are gonna blow up in the Youtube world like they do in Korea. I love to watch them. Dont ask me why. I cannot explain it. It is not like a feeder thing. I like when they eat and talk. Kind of like you are sitting there with them. I also like ASMR but that is something totally different.  That video is of Keemi. I like her. She cooks, talks, and eats. I started watching her when she had a small following.

   I went to the neurosurgeon`s office last week. I saw his PCA.  He had a really good energy. I liked him. He listened to me. My lower back is arthritic. He could see my last surgery on my L5 S1. He used to work for the surgeon that did it. He said that my L4 L5 is not that great but he suggested that I go back to PT (yay!) and have the shots. I decided later that I am not doing the shots yet. I will do the PT and massage. If they do not help, I will try the shots. I told him about my neck hurting. My arms, hands, shoulders, etc. He wants me to have a MRI of my cervical. Then he does all the customary shit they do at an appointment. Heart beat, lungs, blood pressure, and pulse. He checks my pulse on my left hand, looks up at me and says *that is a weak pulse and your hands are cold*. He says I might have to see the vascular surgeon in the building. WHAT?? I asked if my low blood pressure be a reason too. He said yes. After much talk, we will wait till after my MRI is done. If I have to see the vascular guy, he will send me. Of course I googled that shit and I must be a fucking magician. I was thinking I had an issue with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome months ago. I talked about it to the massage therapist two weeks ago. I am not saying that I know that is what it is but who wants to bet me a $3 bill?  If it is just the nerves, I will learn how to hold my posture and techniques through PT. That is in like 95% of the cases. Very rare to have to see a vascular doctor about it. That would be if the area in question is impinging on your artery or veins. I am not gonna super worry about it.

  That is about it. It is Monday. I have to do laundry, water my plants, go buy cheese, and work on a little arts and crafts project. I have a wood octopus that I am painting. Yeah, I will share when it is done. I still have not figured out how to get the IG back on here. It is making me a little bit mad. My fishes are gone too. Grrrr.
I need a blogger guru, I tell ya.

Have a good week! Maybe some snow on Tuesday!

Health always takes a header at the end of the year

I know I already posted for this week but I have had some developments that I thought I would document.
First off, I finally got a appointment with the gastro specialist in Providence, Dr Colleen Kelly. I see her this coming Monday for a consultation. She will be the one that will do the fecal transplant (FT) for the cdiff. I guess she has to decide if I am worthy. I hope I am worthy! I have been told that I should also make a trip to Cheesecake Factory to pick up cake and apps for the children. The train station is right across the street from it. I will maybe oblige.

  Yesterday, I  had my MRI, which went fine. I only needed one of the Valium and I didnt freak out. It was basically a uneventful day. Did not take long for the effects from the pill to wear off. This morning, my neuro calls. He says that I have some flattening of my L5/S1 (the one i had surgery on). He says it looks bone on bone. But those are not the discs that deal with my hip issues. Since my ortho (that I have only seen once!) is closing, He is referring me to a Ortho at the Yale office. If they find that my hip pain is not for the Ortho to deal with, he will refer me to a spine surgeon. I said I am okay if you all say it is from getting older. Shit happens. But with my history, something that looks benign could turn out to be something yucky.

I just want to catch anything before it gets worse.

That is about it. My bacon and egg lunch is waiting and Kid #2 and I will take a walk after. Easy day cause AHS is gonna be THE shit tonight!!

October Monday

Mums in the yard

*223*

   I am in the midst of my typical Monday. I wanted to do this but I also have all my shit to do. So today is the day to get it done. My Mondays are pretty consistent for me. Sometimes I wish I could just ignore Mondays but that would screw up the chi for the rest of the week.

7am wake up. 
Let dogs outside. Wait outside because there have been coyote in the area.
Make coffee
Feed cats and dogs.
Give Lu meds
Take out 4 recycle buckets to the street. Take out any trash to the bin. Garbage day
Start first load of laundry.
Usually the kitchen is a disaster from the weekend, so stack all the dishes and such. Hot soapy water in dishpan.
Defrost dinner stuff.
Make hard boiled eggs, cucumber salad, and cheddar slices for the week.
Water plants
All the while I take the dogs out, do more laundry, fold said laundry, sweep, etc etc etc. I had stuff to mail out for ebay and I had to go to the pharmacy.

You add in all the other little things like appointments and seasonal shit, yard work, and I am beat. I still have to make dinner. I always crash at around 8am.

  Oh, I tried a cool recipe this weekend. It is a keto mug cake. Put in a mug: 1 scoop of whey protein powder, 1 egg, and 1/4 teaspoon of baking powder. Mix. If it is too thick, add a little bit of almond milk or water. Give it the consistency of brownie mix. Microwave on high for 60 seconds. That is it! I put whipping cream and stevia in the kitchen-aid to make keto whipped cream for the topper. Hubs and I both liked it. That will be nice to have or once in awhile.

 This past week I had the junker aka Nissan fixed. It needed four rotors, four brake pads, two calipers, battery, muffler, all fluids done, oil, and spark plugs. She sat for too long but she is back on the road and I don't have to chauffeur everyone around like before.  I am broke as all get out because of it. It is a major lean week. I am sitting here wishing for lunch but I have dinner foods only. But the car is fixed! That page on my to-do list is done! I gotta set up a new list. That one sat there for a couple months while I scratched each thing off. 

  Guess how much two 2mg Valium cost me? Just take a wild guess! I will wait........(switching out laundry)

80 cents!!
I was actually happy to see that. Like I said before, we are poor as hell this week. I had to have those pills so I can withstand the MRI. (Yes folks, sometimes you can be so broke that $1-2 makes a major difference in your life.)
This was the MRI I was supposed to have in September but I was a stupid ass and got a tattoo. My hips have been bothering me a whole lot. The ortho said it was not my hips per say. The PT therapist said she thought it was my spine like another herniation. My neuro is appeasing me and letting me have the MRI to just make sure there is nothing bad going on. I am not looking for another surgery right now. Just some answers. I probably wont hear anything till this week or so. Hubby sees him at the end of the month too for his foot issues. Wish me luck that I do okay in the big loud machine.

Tonight we are having taco salad with cheddar cheese crisps that I will make in the oven. I just saw that one of them ate the last avocado. Grrrr! I have to put post it notes on every fucking thing. Guess that will be missing from the salad. 

That is about it. We are in the middle of decorating for Halloween and I will post about that next time.

Have a great week! 

 
 

Menopause makes you hangry

*245*

Must stop eating! Cannot resist holiday sweets! 

 Okay...My internet was down for five days. There was issues with the company for two and I needed a new modem because mine is obsolete. The dude showed up Monday evening and all is right with the world. 
I finally got a call from the neuro and yesterday I was emailed the report. My brain is fine. There are no aneurysms or stenosis or any at all. The neuro said that I show no damage from IIH either so he is back on the * you dont have it* bandwagon. He said the bad news is we dont know what is wrong with you. He is sending me to a neuro ear doctor on Dec 4th. My surgeon is a neuro ear doctor. I am just going to look at this as a 2nd opinion. Maybe a fresh set of eyes will see something the others dont. I have been told by people on boards that my opening pressure with my spinal tap was not borderline. 26 is a high number. It isn't super high but enough to say that I DO have IIH. I am not taking the Diamox. It makes my chest hurt and I feel like I cant breath. I have to control this with diet and use the pills therapeutically.  I get a letter confirming my appt. It said it was from the Yale Stroke clinic. Freaked me out a tad. I think this neuro works in area. I cant dwell on that. That appt is the first Friday of December. 
  The contest voting ends on the 20th. A couple more days and I will find out if I am a finalist. Wish me luck! I really want the grand prize. 
  If it isnt nailed down, I am eating it. It has got to STAHP! I am eating lower sodium but carbs are calling this diabetics  name. I gotta add some fruit and veggies to my life. I refuse to gain the weight I lost cause of a lack of estrogen. I dont make excuses. I pick it up and eat it and I shouldnt. Stop it Heidi! Stop it!

  I have almost all of my Turkey day foods. We are having a turkey! I decided and that is that. I have to pick up my free ham that I will use for Christmas. You spend $400 in groceries during a certain time and you get a freebie as in turkey or ham or chicken or vegetarian lasagna. They used to offer a tofurky but they arent this year. Damn! I was really looking forward to it.  *lol* We will do a marinade on the bird the day before. My mom`s sausage stuffing. Broccoli casserole. And twice baked potatoes. We need a veggie platter too.
This grocery shopping trip will be all about the veggies. Mmm! I lurv Turkey Day!

 ummmm.  Oh. All the junk is gone from the patio and side of house. Blessed be! I hated looking and smelling it. The next project is painting the livingroom. The kid is gonna help. Yes.


So that is all with my saga filled life so far. Looks like fun, huh? 
  

Tube tomorrow

I enter the tube tomorrow. I am trying not to fret. I have two valiums that will help me deal just fine. I will be having a MRI/MRA/MRV of my brain. It could take about 30 minutes or so. Being loopy and droopy will help me deal with the anxiety.
Wish me luck and send some thoughts/prayers.


 The contest so far has been very positive. I had one person give me a back handed compliment. You know what, if YOU think the other recipes are so drool worthy but you voted for me anyway, keep your votes. I dont want them from you. You have been a bitter bitch from day one. Keep it moving. I have people that love me that will help me get there. Geez. People can never keep the negative to themselves. Always have to stab somebody.

Anyhoo...If you would like to vote again for my Walnut Pesto Pork Chops..go for it. If you dont want to, that is okay. At least you are being honest.

I am going to make some pumpkin bread today and watch the leaves fall out the window.

Life is a trip

*250*

  I am here. Just many things have been going on. Right now today I am dealing with having a brain MRI tonight. We are checking to see if I have a cerebral spinal fluid leak. Yup. We are back at that again. Three years ago I was at this same point. But it turned out to be my mastoid. This time it might actually be a leak from my sinus. I am taking a pill called Topomax for my head and neck pain. This is day four. It makes me feel loopy. That and feeling like garbage cause of my head and you can bet my ass spends alot of time in bed.
 I did try to be normal today. I raked some poopy leaves from under the bushes while the dogs were out. I am washing some clothes. I put all the scarves away for the season. I cleaned the livingroom, including dusting and vacuuming. We had the windows open too. Feels good.
It will be snowing later but I digress.
  This has what has been going on. I am a downer cause my life is suckage right now. I know that will change. Everything does. You will see my weight steadily drop as I post. That is if I continue to take this pill. My appetite is nil. Today I had a cup of coffee and a forced banana. It is 1pm. Everything tastes gross so there is no point. It is a plus for a diabetic.
eh. whatever.
I have been called out as a downer because I am not POSITIVE lately!  Maybe that is why I dont post. What is the point. I should just take a picture. Post it. Voila. There can only be positive from that.
Happy Easter to all of you that celebrate!

More coffee is an option

Dinner Delights!

*248*
 
      Just to let you know, I have had to get up super early the past few days. I am about to get my 2nd cup of Joe as I type....... The coil broke on the Nissan. It is getting fixed this week but in the mean time, I have been driving the man to his new first shift job...the alarm goes off at 530am. <-----I call bullshit! LOL
   He loves the job. He is around all guys, he is moving, getting exercise, and the day ends early. We are losing an extreme amount of money because of the job change. We will figure it out and survive as best we can. He can try to transfer to another job in six months. I am so glad that he is happy at his job. I am just sad that it is not more money.
   I will have to bring back my frugal skills of yore. I cried for a bit but I am better now. I have to start trimming the fat.   I think cable tv is a goner for us. I will keep internet but cannot afford the cable. There is alot to take in. I learned I can turn the furnace off to save oil. We can switch it on when showers and dishes need to be done.
 So much has gone on. Kid #1 is leaving in June for Cali for a internship for a couple months. Kid #2 is spreading her wings and moving in with friends temporarily until the Fall or sooner. She will be within walking distance. Unofficial Kid #3 has not said anything. He has no place to go. I am hoping if he stays here, he will give us some rent plus help around the house. Otherwise, he will need to go too. But that is just talk right now. I could actually be a empty nester this summer! Like a test to see if I can handle it. Challenge accepted.

  Yesterday I had my MRI on my neck. I was given a pill called Serax which is actually a benzo. I had a mild case of hives from it. It was determined I was okay so we proceeded with the scan. I was loopy, they made me comfy with pillows, headphones (music), and warm wash cloth over my eyes. I could have fell asleep in that thing if it wasnt for the noise. I have a disc to give to my neuro. It is too early now but I will call later to make a follow up appt to see what is up.

  My treat for my shitty couple of weeks is a lobster. They were on sale for $4.99 per lb. I got one that was slightly over 3 lbs. It was boiled last night. It is in my fridge awaiting my ideas for it. I could just be carnal...slightly heat it and eat it with butter. Or I could make a nice cold salad. Or something else..I have not decided. I know I just said I have to cut back on the budget but for this one time, I decided that I wanted this for ME and all the things I cried over this past week. A decadent food that doesnt require insulin! SCORE!