Feels like Autumn with a side of hot flashes

Her bangs will be painfully short!

*270*

  I do not remember if I said this before but I got a cut and color. The youngest cut off all the pink from the ombre that we did a couple months ago. The bleach really damaged about 4 inches of hair. I will remember not to ever do THAT again. The new cut is just past my shoulders. And I colored the whole thing dark walnut. I have to touch up the roots on the bleach that I have in the front. I am keeping that for a little while. I like it. It holds the wave in my hair again. I do not know if I will ever grow my hair down to my waist again but for now, shorter feels better.
  It is a cool one this morning but I am sitting in front of a fan with a tank top on. I was profusely sweating so I figured one of two things: I have a fever or menopause. My temp was 97.3.
I went to see the surgeon yesterday about the 2nd opinion. He said the same thing that the 1st surgeon and the my gastro has said. I do not have gallstones and the gallbladder is perfectly healthy. He did say that it could possibly be my pancreas but I need to go back to my gastro to find out about that. Then he said I should have a full work up...upper endoscopy, colonoscopy, cat scans, etc. I said I already did.
So for those keeping score..It is not diverticulitis, not my gallbladder, not my reproductive, and not my kidneys or liver. I have been referred to another gastro because mine is an asshat.  I fear that they will never figure it out and I will just have this pain for the rest of my life. My guess is that I will be told I have IBS (no kidding) and that I will just have to live with this pain forever. I think I am just tired of fighting. It has been almost a year of this. I will just keep it in the back of my mind and if anything comes from this, I will update.
It will not stop me from my goal of losing this fat.
  I am signed up for the seminar for the gastric bypass this month. I told my best friend about it. She is supportive and is a bit jealous. She wishes she had insurance because she would get it too. I wish she could get it too. We could have bingo wings together! Oh well. Fred will go with me, we will find out about it, and then I will proceed with caution. Baby steps. I heard that it can take months before you even get the surgery. She has a friend that had it last year. It was six months before she had her surgery. I am thinking that since I have already had upper endoscopy and such, they might use that since it is new. But we shall see.

I have some good news. My vitals were checked at the surgeon`s office and my blood pressure was back to it`s normal lower range. I guess I was just stressed from all that has been going on. I would love to lose the stress but that would require me to lose the pain.
  Gonna wash the dogs and clean the house. I have plants to water outside and I was thinking of baking some cookies. We shall see about that though. The hot flashes from earlier might come back and I do not like to freaking sweat.

Hulu Plus kind of Saturday

I need to magnify so I can read the recipe.

*270* <---according to Dr`s scale

   Doesn't that cake look nice? I was looking for a old photo of egg salad because that is what I had for lunch. I stumbled onto to this and wanted to share. I love old recipes. Old recipes are how I learned to cook as a child. I still have my Mother`s 1940s Betty Crocker cookbook. Just cause I posted a cake does not mean I am going to make one. It just gave me a nice memory of being young and baking for my family.
  Today it is rainy and cool. Hubs is working. We are going to watch Bones on Hulu Plus to catch up before September. I am going to color my hair (which the child number 2 cut past my shoulders this week) and make buffalo chicken dip for dinner. I have been told that it tastes really good if I use the ranch dressing/Blue cheese crumble combo. I am also using a rotisserie chicken instead of canned.

    I have been busy and my mind/body have been occupied lately and I totally spaced on posting. I try to do it at least once a week because it is good for me. I get shit out so that I can read it back later to get some perspective on whatever I am talking about.  My gut is still bothering me and it has intensified. I see another surgeon on Monday...let me back track.
 I went to see my GP about two weeks ago because I could not take the pain anymore. He set me up with seeing another surgeon to get a second opinion on my scans. He also took me off my Januvia because he said it can cause pancreatitis. Stopping the pill did not stop the pain. It is more. Not excruciating at all but enough that it is getting to the point that I just cannot take it anymore. Now I am dealing with being itchy all the time and being nauseated. I have not barfed but it has come close to me going for it. It doesn't matter what I eat..I feel like shit. Those of you that know me know that does not stop me from my normal everyday life. I just suck it up buttercup.
  I saw my GP this week. He is glad to hear that I am seeing the 2nd opinion on Monday afternoon. If this surgeon says yes, it is my gallbladder..I will have the 1st surgeon here that is local to me do it. He is a great surgeon and I would rather have him do it. I told the Dr about my run around with the Gastro and how he told me my pain was skeletal or muscular. My Gp made a face and said No, he is wrong. After we figure out what is wrong, he is going to refer me to a different Gastro dr. New perspective on the situation.
  I asked about finding out about getting gastric bypass. He did not tell me I was not ready for it this time. He feels I am ready to find out about it and make some hard decisions. I had told him that with all that is wrong with me, so far I do not have high blood pressure or kidney involvement. I want to nip this shit in the bud. Guess what? He said my blood pressure was a bit high. He said I needed to go on a pill to protect my kidneys. I let out a defeated sigh. He suggested that I come back in a month. If it is still high, I need medication.
That is it. I have every single thing that could possibly kill me and I am fat and 44. More reason for the surgery. I have tried. Maybe not as hard as SOME of you may think but I have tried for myself. This afternoon I had egg salad sans bread with veggies for lunch. The fat in the eggs are going to kill my gut but this is what I wanted and it is low carb.

How can I eat  low carb (for diabetes), low fat (for my gut), and low sodium (for hbp)? 

 If I have the surgery I will knock out the diabetes, the hbp, the cholesterol, the sleep apnea, and the reflux. I will lose weight and I will be able to walk long distance again. I will probably have bingo wings and stomach flap but I will be in the 100s instead of painfully close to the 300s.

I was going to make this an extra long post and talk about the garden and such but the egg salad is starting to make me sick. I need to lay down with my bottle of water and watch mindless tv.
I hope you all have a great weekend. I will make a post tomorrow about the other stuff I was going to talk about. Or I will completely forget. Dealers choice!
:)

Should I?

*265*

  I have been trying for the past month or so to get a sleep study done for obstructive sleep apnea. Our insurance company has become very strict about it since June 1 of this year. I have been denied twice so far and I think my third denial letter is in the mail.  They are going to tell me that I just need to lose weight.
 I jokingly said to my GP and to hubby that if they want me to lose weight but will not help me with my sleep apnea, maybe they will want to pay for Gastric bypass surgery. My GP did not say NO NO NO! Neither did hubby. They used to before but I think I have come to the point in my ever shortening life that maybe I should do it. If I do have the surgery, I will eliminate the type 2 diabetes, the sleep apnea, the Gerd, the cholesterol, and all the other shit that I deal with.  I will lose an intense amount of weight, I will be able to exercise and walk again like I did when I was smaller.
I know there are plenty of downsides. I will have to change my eating habits for life. There are quite a few people that I know that had the surgery..you cant even tell anymore cause they gained much of the weight back. Your stomach does stretch as the years go on and you have to be honest with yourself that you have to eat less and exercise more forever or you will have gone through that surgery for nothing!
  I am going for my physical next week. I am going to talk to him about it on a serious note. What do I have to do to get the ball rolling? If I cannot lose it on my own, than the insurance company will pay for it to happen.
 I never thought I would seriously consider it. I always thought if I tried, I could lose weight and keep it off. I have so many things wrong with me and I just cannot do it. I have the WILL but I do not have the inner POWER to succeed at losing the weight on my own.  Who knows? Either insurance will deny it or I will run screaming because I do not want to give up my love of pizza.


I am just tired of being a fat lady.