Stuff is a-changing

*238*


  Against my better judgement, I am drinking my third 8oz cup of coffee with soy creamer and one Stevia packet. I had my sick stomach breakfast of 1 egg cooked in microwave with a sliced avocado. When I am having pain and no appetite, that breaky gives me enough boost just in case I cannot eat till dinner. *burp* Okay..I am gonna pour this shit out.

  Changes are happening. I hope that the positives continue cause we have had our fair share of bullshit. Hubs has been offered and he accepted a new position in his department. He will be a driver. He will pick up and delivery all sorts of small stuff to the different clinics and hospitals affiliated with ours. The guy he is taking over for leaves in 3 weeks so he will have plenty of time to train. He started yesterday and he likes it. This is good for him. He is off his bad foot. He is not lugging big carts of supplies. He still gets to socialize but a whole new crop of people. Plus he is back on 2nd which he likes. I dont have to worry about him as much as I have been.
  
  Kid #1 is treating me better.  She is talking to me. That look of disgust when she had to communicate with me is gone. It is either cause she has grown more, therapy, or a combo of the two. I still want a empty nest but I can tolerate a little longer cause she is more forthcoming towards me and vice versa.

   If you totally ignore my stomach issues right now, I am doing pretty good. I have had some depressive moments but I rolled with it and I am ok now. Bipolar sucks ass, I tell you. Thankfully I am of the 2 variety so it is not as intense as what I grew up with living with my Mom and Sister. They were/are 1s and that is not a fun thing to have.  I have tried to do more. Get moving. Get Doing. Try new things. I tasted beef tongue a couple weeks ago. Scared of it but I ate it with Hubs in a taco. It was actually pretty good. It was not at all tonguey. It was really like shredded roast beef.

  I have been making TO DO lists that are pinned to the wall for me to see. I scratch off when I get something done. It gives me motivation to finish that list! So I have to get moving to finish my clothing. Cause then I can scratch off Finish Sorting Clothes and Bring Donations to Jonnycakes. I have to move my bedroom around (on the list) but I have to finish the clothes!!!!!!

That is my goal today. Drop off the *children* to their destinations (it is raining) and finish the summer stuff. I am not ready to call the gut dr yet. I will give it a couple more days. It might just go away on it`s own. Why I worry a tad is that it is making me feel low blood pressure symptomatic. Or I think it is and it freaks me out. We shall see.

Have a great Tuesday. Hopefully there is sunshine for you.

Groundhog day is a-coming

*233*

 Tomorrow is the big day. Will we see 6 more weeks of temps in the 40s?? We have had such a non winter this year. I am loving it. I am one of the primary shovelers in the house and I am just not in the mood. We could get slammed. It could happen! This whole week will be in the 40s-50s (almost 60 deg f today) so if it is gonna happen, it should be soon.

   My sort of resolution is working out pretty good so far. I decided since I almost died, I am gonna do what I want and say what I want. I am making myself be positive because nobody..especially me..wants to hear the downs all the time. Look. My physical life sucks ass. (more on that) and we all know it. Part of me thinks I dont have long on this Earth. So I am going to try to be happy, get my affairs in order, pay off outstanding debt, sell off my miniatures, teach the girls my secrets, and make a book for them so they will know everything. Insurance, bills, passwords...the whole shit show!  I am going to stop putting off stuff so I can be happy.

  Today I had a mammo. Just routine. I have to wait till my GP gets the results. Then he can schedule a ultrasound. My boobs are super dense even for my age. Cancer can hide in there so having the extra scan must be done. Then next Monday I will have my upper endo and colonoscopy. They gotta see what is going on with my whole gut. Lots of issues that I will share if they find anything. Like I said, trying to keep it positive. 

  I have two recipes that I wanted to share with you. One I have made this weekend and one I am making today.

The first is a pasta dish. It is called Chicken and Bacon Pasta with Spinach and Tomatoes in a Garlic cream sauce. That is a mouthful of a title! The only thing I changed was replaced the cut up tomatoes with a can of crushed. This recipe is a KEEPER! We all liked it and there were no leftovers.

The 2nd recipe is a rice dish. It is called Salsa Chicken Casserole. I am making this today. It looks oh so good. We usually do tacos on Monday so this is a good change. I am changing it a smidge. I took half a jar of salsa and a can of enchilada sauce and pureed it in the blender. That will replace the just salsa portion. And the chicken has been marinating in a dry rub of cumin, coriander, cayenne, paprika, chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and crushed black pepper.. I think it should have more then just an afterthought off salt and pepper.
I will make corn bread to go with this. Sounds good, huh?

  I have been selling off all my full scale miniatures. I decided it was okay to do that this past Fall. I discussed it with my therapist. I started off small. I am now just going for it. I have a few really nice 1/2 scale kits that a dear friend gave me. Part of the money will be used to buy 1/2 scale furniture and fixtures for those houses. My house is just too small for the bigger houses of my childhood dreams. If I died tomorrow, the Hubs would have chucked all the minis in the trash. That is alot of money spent. So I am selling them and giving stuff away. Clear the decks of all things unwanted and unloved.

That is about it. I wish it was Spring so I could plant but it isnt. Two more months to go!

Constipated Friday

Burp!

  I have that recipe for the turkey burgers. I did not forget. Ok, I did forget but I remembered. I did not add the cheese to the recipe because of my gut being pissed off at dairy right now. But it was good without it so I am guessing it will be really good with it. I was thinking of another one. You could do mozzarella cheese inside the turkey burger and then put marinara and cheese on top and have like some sort of Italian Turkey burger thing.
 I am going to get a call today from these people so that I can get an appointment for that test to see if my gallbladder is in fact fucking with me. The pain on my right side has not gone away. In the three weeks (almost) that this has been going on, everything has been moving along smoothly. For the past 2 days, not so much. Orange gritty nasty shit to the rescue. Still in pain on my side so I know I am not wasting all their time over some constipation. That would be funny. All I know is I am going to try and be positive today. I am sticking with the low carb/low fat eating because it has helped with the pain. I need to add some more roughage to the mix and I have to figure out what the hell I am going to eat every day. Salads and sliced turkey are not cutting it.

If any of you want to pop me a message to give me some new ideas of what I can eat, I would absolutely appreciate it. I will post them on here to share.

It is Friday so that means off to run errands that I do not want to run. Have a great Friday!