Yes I am a bad blogger. There is probably none of you left cause I just up and abandoned this place and you. Boy this place is dusty. I have had a very productive summer. I went to the beach. I worked in the garden growing tomatoes with Kid #2. I sweated my ass off in the utter humidity of late July, all of August, and up until yesterday. No brains at all when the weather is like that.
That is not a typo. I just came home from the gastro and I weigh 215. I have stuck with the Low Carb High Fat since May 1st. It has been four months. I have slipped up here and there. But this is a lifestyle change. I have to undo all the stuff I was taught my entire life. I was in a size 22/20. I am now in a solid 16. I bet I could fit into some baggy sized 14. And this was done with no exercise. Change of eating only. If I added exercise, I would be dangerous.
Lu is still here with us. She made it through the worst of the weather. There were a few times I thought I would have to put her down. But the humidity is gone is she is coughing much less. She is chipper. She is able to relax. This is a good thing. The other animals are doing fine also. Perla has her issues with her seizures but except for a scary one at the vet, she has been good.
I still have cdiff. Still fighting it. Still a Poop Warrior. I have to decide if I am going to have cataract surgery before the end of the year. I cannot drive at night without difficulty.
I have decided that I am going to make a conscious effort to blog her once a week. It was always good for me to just let that shit out. I am putting in my phone calendar. Every freaking Monday I will blog. As you can see, I am still Instagramming so you know I am alive. Let us see if I can stick to a schedule.
Tata for now.
I am taking a break from the miserable existence that is my Monday to have a healthy discussion about why I am so hateful lately. If you are not in the mood to read me whine, then just do not do it. Find something way better to do.
I am not gonna look back to see what I already said cause I am in that kind of mood. If I repeat myself, my apologies. Where do i start? Ummmm Yeah, my gut is royally fucked. I am back on the Vanco on a loooooooong taper (day 25 I think) and it isnt working. My colitis is so bad, I feel like I am in a tight corset. If you add in that is humid as all get out, that is a recipe for some asshole comments coming out of my mouth. I am not happy and there is no positivity. I see the gastro next week.
Let me break it down for you. You all know I am slowly falling apart over here. This past month I have been told that the C-diff is being resistant because of my Type 2 diabetes. It doesnt matter that I am eating ketogenic now. The damage is done. I was told that my eyesight is fine for my age and my IIH is not messing with my optic nerves but my problem is Cataracts. Yes! I am a 47 yr old with cataracts so bad that they are effecting my vision. I have a check up in a year but if they bother me more before then, I have to come in. There will be surgery in my future for this. He kept saying *47 yrs old*. It is because of my diabetes also. High blood sugars can accelerate their growth. Good thing I changed my eating but not soon enough. My hips need PT. I start this week. We know I have bursitis but he thinks i have a ball/joint issue. After PT, if they feel I need more help, I will have to have a MRI <---oh joy!
Ummmm...Friday at the vet, Perla had a full on seizure in my arms. I thought she was dying. After that, it was decided it would not be safe to give her oral surgery. So I have two dogs (perla and Lu) that take meds to keep them alive but eventually I will have to put them down. My friend loaned us her car while ours was being fixed (rotor repair became a clusterfuck that cost $580 more). Someone crashed into to it while we slept. Bumper is fucked. It is scratched. The car is 10 yrs old so it only has liability. So to be a good friend, we are paying half. Another $200-300. We know it was the bitch daughter across the street cause she has a big long silver gash on her passenger side of her car. But we cant prove it. I am done talking to those people for life now.
In the midst of all that, I keep having pleasant dreams about my good sister/friend that dumped me two years ago. I am blocked so I cannot talk to her. So I just get to be sad everytime I have one of those dreams. And realize she has moved on and my subconscious is a pathetic loser.
Life for me sucks. And if somebody tells me that I can overcome or I am not trying hard enough or Jesus will heal me...they are gonna get lambasted. How about I dump all this shit on YOU and then I could go have a nice day at the beach. How about that? I just wish I didnt have so much weighing on my mind. It is so exhausting sometimes. I see other people`s faux lives on FB and wish I could have a faux life too. Full of bars, fancy dinners, cruises, trips, get togethers, wine tastings, and all the fun things they seem to be able to cram into their perfect little faux lives. My hightlight of today was watering the garden and harvesting some Bok Choy. Woohoo! It is heatwave territory for us here now. I do have a nice even tan going. There is no pale upper arms for me this year. I have been wearing tank tops every chance I can get. Sucking up all that Vitamin D. I would go to the beach today but I got that whole gut/corset thing going on.
If I could just be happy and maybe get some happy surprises along the way, that would do me a solid in life. It is just one long stretch of the Matrix until I leave this place. Wow, that does sound really ominous, huh? I am just in a long stretch of pain with heat on top so I am moody.
I am late. I am bad and I havent posted. I should get in big trouble but I have been out doing stuff! If you look at my IG, you know. Let me start with some positives and update you on stuff.
Lu is doing. She is still on her steroids. She takes them every other day for the next 10 days. Her heart is good. Today she was coughing a little but it is humid. We are all downstairs with the AC going so it feels good. She will always have issues with her faulty knees on back legs but she is much better then she was.
The garden is going strong both at the community garden and the pots here at the house. I am leaving the buds alone on the tomatoes and peppers now because it is time. It is warm enough and they have all grown quite a bit. The strawberries gave us about 8 quarts this year. We were very happy with that. The blackberries are flowering now so we should start picking in July. I am afraid that the new people that run the community garden will over run the blackberry patch and ruin it. I will just go there early in the mornings and pick my quart like I have been doing for 6 years. If they tell me I am not allowed, I think this will be my last year at the garden. They have made it so that if you volunteer, you get perks. I am too sick to volunteer, but that doesn't matter I guess. I sprayed the crap out of some poison ivy this morning. There is not a huge amount but you cant leave that shit alone or it will spread like crazy.
I recorded this video down below on my iPhone. We were given permission. Enjoy!
My friends and I went to a all male cabaret at the casino called Thunder Down Under. The tickets were bought in January so we were so waiting for this. I was worried about my head. I was worried that it would ruin the night. But it didnt. It was SUPER loud but I was able to endure. My prize was I got to touch a stripper`s butt. The girls were uber jelly. They just do not have the competitive streak that I do. I had a fun night and would totally do it again.
I am still going strong with the keto/low carb. I did eat some carbs the night with the strippers. We went to the buffet and it wasn't a good one. So it will be a 2 week climb back up to ketosis. That is okay. I am never gonna beat myself up over what I eat from now on and I did have lots of fun.
Today has been super humid so I have stayed on 1st floor. I have been loading Microsoft 10 on the lappy my friend gave me. I hope that fixes the problems. I have been cleaning up and doing stuff that I have been avoiding like cleaning honey from the lining of my Kate Spade bag. It is outside drying as I type.
My gut still sucks. I had to stop in the middle of this to take a Zofran cause I am nauseated. It isnt really helping. The office is closed so I am basically assed out in that regard. I sent a sample out yesterday and they called bright and early to tell me I still have CDI. I have to go into the office next week. We will have to be more aggressive with this I reckon.
I had a appt with my Ophthalmologist this Monday. He was checking my eyes for Papilledemia because of the IIH and I have been having issues with my vision. I basically cannot drive at night unless it is local. I get blurry out of the blue. And I was just freaked out that the IIH had gotten to my eyes even though my symptoms have been great. There is no paps. My eye pressure and veins look amazing. I do need to up my readers a smidge (150 for reading, 100 for the laptop) but I do not need glasses for distance at this time. This is where I was stumped.
Then what the hell is wrong??
He said my lenses in front of my Irises are yellow. My issues are because of cataracts. Fucking Cataracts!!! If you have been reading here for any length of time, you may remember that I talked about the optometrist telling me 3 years ago that I had teeny tiny itty bitty cataracts but they are not to worry about. Well, time to worry. My diabetes accelerated the growth of those fuckers. This is why I have trouble seeing in dim lights. This is why bright lights make my vision really bad. It seems the lens helps distribute light that enters your eye. A cataract is like having a dirty windshield. Hard for the light to come in so stuff is blurry or smoky.
He kept says *47 yrs old*.. Like he was amazed. Yeah bitch, I know. I am a special kind of fucked up. I just read that when you have the cataracts removed, it could accelerate glaucoma and retinopathy. Oh Joy! I always worried about losing a foot but just take my eye balls.
Yeah, I am keeping those last tidbits to myself and for anybody that reads this.
Aint that some fucked up shit? Do you believe me now? I got somebody throwing bad juju my way cause I wasnt a good enough friend. I am not depressed over this but I really want some potato chips. But I will not. I have to stick with the course. If THAT diagnosis wasnt enough to keep me from eating a starch, then I deserve all that I get.
He did say that I can wear yellow tinted glasses like the ones on tv, and I will be able to see at night again. I have to wear sunglasses while I am out all the time too. Keep my sugar low and wear sunglasses and I might be able to slow it down.
Low Carb For Life!!
I had to tweak my macros because I listened to stupid people that were telling me to eat more protein and less fat cause they know it all. If I eat too much protein, it converts to sugar and raises my blood sugar levels. I am going to stick with 20-25 grams of carbs, 65 grams of protein, and 120 grams of Fat..but that is just a top number. I have never been able to eat that much fat in a day and I am trying to lose weight. Pay day is tomorrow. Kid #2 and I are gonna get sneakers for walking. Good and strong ones. On humid days like today, we will walk in the morning or at the Mall.
