I hate diabetes

*260*

 I got a call from my Endo`s nurse this morning. They wanted to tell me about my diabetic blood draw aka A1C. It is 8.6. That is horrific! That is not good at all! That is all the crap I have been eating for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.  It is a damaging number, is what that is. I will be honest. I have been eating what i want and then playing catch up with the insulin. Not a good thing to do. You are supposed to do your insulin, eat your meal, and that is that. No catch up.
 He had suggested that I give the low carb eating a try again. Maybe if I can stick with that way of life, I can forgo anymore damage to my body. Like whatever is wrong with my gut right now.
 I am dealing with alot of shit right now and this is not one of the things I wanted added. I have to also say that I was dealing with a massive amount of infection in my head. That could contribute to some of the numbers being off. That is not an excuse. Infection does raise your blood sugars. But I know that is not the only reason.
 So I guess I have to change my life for real this time. No thinking about it. No talking about it. No dabbling in it. I have to actually do it. The low carb amounts are going to kill me and I am going to be such a bitch but I have to do it to live longer.
One thing I have to give up is sugar. I drink two cups of coffee a day, maximum. In one cup, I put light cream and one teaspoon of sugar. I used to use artificial sweetener but they started giving me headaches. I can also go back to using soy milk and soy creamer with no problem.
 You know, if a Dr ever tells you that you are pre-diabetic or that you have gestational diabetes when you are pregnant, take it seriously!
 I did not and look at me. 10 years since diagnosis. I am almost 44 years old and I am falling apart on the insides. I fear that I will not live to 50 for some reason. I have to try to get well on the inside so that I can fix the damage that I have already done.

A plan must be made:
 Low carb eating forever. Fred and I both. I will not limit him to 25 carbs a day cause he is a guy and needs more calories because he works. I need to find some recipes that will help us.

Ding Ding Ding!!! Just got another call back from the Dr office. They got my scans. I do have a kidney stone but that would not be causing the pain that I am feeling. I do not have any gallstones that they can see BUT my bile duct is enlarged. Which could mean that I am getting ready to develop one inside of it and that is not a good. If it blocks the flow of bile, I will be in screaming pain and could like burst. They are calling the surgical team at the hospital to get me in ASAP. If my pain becomes excruciating, I am to go to the ER.

I am going to eat some low carbness now but I need to really read up like I did before and print out some recipes and ideas for eating. I will come back to this after my surgery. Fuck!

And how is your new year shaping up?

Punch in the Kidneys

I miss A&P

*271*

  I was looking for a vintage picture of like kidney pie for some stupid reason and couldn't. So I settled on this old recipe page from the A&P grocery store.  We love beans in this house.

  Did I mention Fred was having issues with his right kidney?

  I do not remember. Anyway, they think it could be a kidney stone or a kidney infection. He had an xray on Friday and today he had an ultrasound of kidney and bladder. He is not having sharp *kill me now* pain like everyone has said will happen. It is a dull, constant  pain in his flank. Today he says it feels burning. The Cipro seemed to be doing the trick but then maybe not. He is out of work until Friday. So we shall see how this develops. He has super duper big Vicodin so if it turns out to be a stone, he is ready for it!
   Yesterday we started low carb eating and it was a bit rough! By the end of the day I was looking for anything cause I was feeling like mega shit. But I survived.  My blood sugars are phenomenal! They were normal all day yesterday. I did not take my night time insulin shot. Let me see what my blood sugar is and I am also going to make an ice coffee. Entertain yourself for a moment.........It was 157. Normal should be between 70-110. Now that is a smidge high but we had a fruit salad with our lunch today.  Country scramble with eggs, fresh dill, kielbasa, red onion and cheddar cheese. Banana, mango and strawberry salad. Like I said before, I want to go low carb but we are not following that shit to the letter. I followed Atkins last time and we both thought we were going to fucking die! Not enough food to sustain us. I think that is why it did not last. If I can cut junk, potatoes, and most breads out of my life, I will be good. When I say most, there will come times when I will be faced with wanting to eat some bread. I will cross that bridge and be smart.  We like fruit and it is a good add on to meals when we do not want veg salad. The night time killed me. We shall see if tonight is any better.
Beef tacos for tonight! I have corn tortillas for Fred and I. Only 27 carbs per 2 tortillas. I am going to bake some of the corn tortillas into chips and use them for a taco salad. Fred has the choice of doing the salad or just putting the food in the folded tortilla.
  In the never ending saga of my fucked up health, I think I cracked a tooth. It is the upper left third tooth (from the big front tooth). Occasionally when I drink or eat something, I get a sharp pain from it. Not all the time. I do not have any money to pay my dental co-pay this week but I will next week. I am going to call up and get this shit fixed before it becomes an issue. One of the things diabetics have to deal with later on in the disease are tooth issues. If you can keep your sugars in the normal range then you are good. Ruby chewed up my night guard (retainer) that the dentist made so I have been using a store one. It is not good. I need to have a new one made. It is gonna cost me. It is not covered by insurance.
 Now I am eating a small amount of roasted almonds and 6 sugar snap peas. I will graze all day on healthy.
This shit better work this time!

The start of a new beginning

Nuts will be my friend!

*270.5*

 Today is low carb life day. Fred and I are doing a modified version of South Beach and Atkins. We are going to not eat any whites (white bread, potato, rice, etc), no vegs or fruits that are a high carb count, and no junk food.
We will still eat fruit but not in abundance. We will still drink coffee and tea. I have decided to lower my soda consumption to a couple 8 oz glasses a day if that. Lots of water! Metamucil every evening before dinner.
 I am going to still put sugar in my coffee. The artificial sweeteners give me a bad headache. I only drink 1-2 cups of coffee a day and I use 1 tsp of sugar in each so it is not a huge amount. I just want it to be known that we are not *cheating* because this is not a diet. We both want to live longer and we know we can lose the guts with losing the whites. I have accumulated nuts on sale this past couple weeks so we will have those to snack on in the evening.
Lunch for today is kielbasa and eggs with a side salad. I have not figured out dinner yet but we have plenty of meat so it will be something good. I have collard greens that I made yesterday so that will be our dinner veg. I have to dive into recipes to find things to cook that will satisfy us in the beginning. Getting over wheat/whites can be very hard in the first week or two. You feel like you are starving because there is none of those heavy carbs for your body to process. I have to also watch my insulin intake. I do not have to take the meal shots at all if there is no carbs in the meal. I may have to break the rules at first if my blood sugar goes too low. But I will get the hang of it eventually.

Wish us luck on this new/old adventure!

Let`s try this again for old times sake

*267*

Low carb eating that is.
   Fred and I need to lose weight and keep that shit off. I talked to a friend of mine online that I have known for many years. She had WLS (weight loss surgery) and lost a couple hundred pounds. And she has kept it off. I wanted to know how because I know people that have had the WLS and they have gained weight back. She eats as much protein as her stomach will allow and she eats low carb. No whites at all. But she told me something different. I can have brown rice. I can have spinach pasta. The meals do not have to be uber boring. So we are going to start the Monday after Father`s day. Fred is getting a tattoo on that Saturday. He and I are going to go out to eat for lunch and dinner on Father`s Day. He said forget the kids. They did not remember MD so only we get to celebrate on his day. I am also waiting till then so that it will give me time to shop for supplies. Nuts, grains, meat, eggs, low carb pasta, brown rice, veggies. I have to compile some recipes for us also so that we can eat. We will probably eat lots of leftovers for lunches to save money at first.
  I needed to be doing this all along and I was given a wake up call by my friend. She is right. I should have not been eating all those whites and crap all these years. She did say as I lose weight, I can have a night where I have some ice cream now and then.
 But never eat another damn potato! No more you loverly spud!

  I do not want to lose Fred to heart disease at an early age and he does not want to lose me too soon to this damn diabetes. Our complacency ends on the 18th of June.
I have already started. I have been back drinking my big glass of tomato or veggie juice every day. It gives me the veg I need and it fills up my stomach so I do not go off and snack.  It is the mid afternoons that I get the hungry horrors. You are bored and you just want to eat every god damn thing in the house that has any fattening value.
I have been able to hold back on that since I lost the 30 lbs but then I never lost anymore. I just go up and down in the same 5 lb range. This is going to kick it into high gear. And it is the perfect time to do it. All the summer fruits and vegs to enjoy in our meals! I am not going to say no to corn completely because I love a nice corn on the cob but I will not do it all the time. Once a month. Next month is when the bread and butter corn comes out (local) and it is dirt cheap. Like 12 for $2. I am going to buy a shitload and can it for the winter. Just normal canned corn. Cut it off the ears, quick blanch, and can. The girls love corn and it would be a sin not to take advantage of it.

 So yeah. I need to look for some different low carb soups, casseroles, and meals. Different ways to make eggs besides hard boiled, fried, scrambled, omelets, and etc. I was thinking of trying a florentine or maybe eggs benedict but without the English muffin. But I have time to work out the kinks. We did not do that the last time. We kind of just went with a modified Atkins, which we are doing now, but it was so rigid that we were starving. We lost weight but we were starving. So we need more proteins, more vegs, and a smidge of low carb from some alternative pastas and rices.

  I also need to start drinking my Metamucil again. I just lost my way and didn't do it anymore. Now my stomach has been hurting again like before. My GP says it is probably irritable bowel. He says the plus of drinking Metamucil is extra fiber, regularity, lower cholesterol, and it fills up your gut so you are not as hungry in the evenings after dinner. Which is true. It is just gross. He even said that it has to be the gritty kind with the psyllium. That is what helps the most. So tonight I will drink my first cup in a couple months.

 Long post huh?
   I have much to do. One part of the Atkins eating is salad. Every week I would fill a large Tupperware bowl with lid with salad stuff. No dressing of course. But lettuce, cucumber, carrots, and broccoli. I would have tomatoes to put in each day. So for every meal we would have either a vegetable or a salad with our meal. In the evenings when we were hungry, we would eat nuts.

If anyone wants to join in, go for it. Just go online to Atkins. Sign up because they will send you a free starter pack with a couple Atkins breakfast/energy bars. You can stick to their diet rules to the letter or modify it like we did. We did not want this to be a *DIET*. We want this to be our new way of eating. So try not to look at it as temporary. Look at it as this is how I am going to live. I am going to lose the excess weight, keep it off, be happy, and eat wonderful meals!

Next topic will be exercise and my fear of hurting my feet again....

Pin Curls and victory rolls

*277*

I have my period and it is 90 deg outside (with humidity) so I am not in a good mood. So I figured I will play with my hair. It is almost touching my waist in the back. Chelsea has been looking at videos of how to do vintage hairstyles. I was looking at the pageboys and victory rolls because that is what my Mom used to do to her hair back in the day. I am going to set my hair into pincurls today, sleep on them and work on the curls tomorrow. I have a couple videos to share if you are interested in doing it yourself.

This is part one.

This is part two.

Now my hair is long and I am going to sleep over night so I am going to have some GORG curls going on that will survive any heat wave!
Eating a low carb lunch with Fred (he has day off). Leftover grilled pork steaks and a HUGE salad. I still want an ice cream sandwich..My uterus demands it!

Winter of my discontent

Lu looking like a garden gnome

*284*

  It is snowing, again! And not just a little bit..a shit load..again! I had to push the front screen door hard because it was the snow was drifted up against it. More shoveling for me today. Joy! I figured a goofy picture of my maltipoo, Lu, would give you a smile. She is a goofy girl and I love her to bits. We do not know exactly how old she is. Last year the vet guesstimated about 2 years old. So this March I will say she is 3. Because that is when she came into our home. She hates the snow. She screams when her feet touch it. I have newspapers down for her and Perla (our chi) to go potty on. That means that I am ruled by dogs. And I really do not care.
  Yesterday I was so hungry that I wanted to eat some carbs! I over ate some peanuts in the jar instead. My sugar was 125 this morning. Not awful by MY standards but higher then it has been. I need to keep on top of my food. I had not eaten lunch so I paid the price of hunger.
 I started reading Atkins.com because I wanted to learn more about Low carb eating. It has helped me a lot there. Very much. I could say that I am following the Atkins plan but probably a morphed version. I mean, Christ...Fred and I are going to eat a decadent chocolate cake on Saturday for his birthday..that isn't low carb by any means. It is going to set us back 3 days (that is what the site said) but we do not care. We ordered it in advance before we did this and we are each going to have one big piece. Then back on the train! Can you tell that my brain is working better? Carbohydrate withdrawls are awful! You feel extra stupid! You are tired. Ugh! And I will have to go through it again after I eat the cake..but I do not care. It is Fred`s 45th birthday on Saturday and it is special! We will still not eat carbs for other meals though..we decided that. He wants chicken wings, Caesar salad (we do not get the croutons), and a veggie.
 I want to also say that I am feeling better. I not only feel better mentally but physically. I read that women seem to lose inches before they lose actual weight. The scale will take forever to dip but you will notice your pants fitting better. I am able to move around better. My feet do not hurt as much as they normally would. I have more energy during the day. The complex carbs were weighing me down. I have had a few people (strangers) tell me that it was dangerous. Do not do it! You NEED carbs to live. What they forget or do not know is that everything that comes from the ground is a carbohydrate. Apples, cucumbers, wheat grass, tomatoes, etc etc. So Fred and I are getting plenty of carbs from all the veggies we are eating. We have never had this much fiber in our lives! LOL So this way of eating is a good thing for us! Do not worry!
Just make the fucking snow stop!!

Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!

*284* I actually lost weight!

This past week I had gained weight and I did not change the 283 cause I was just disgusted. But my body must have had to catch up to the exercise because I lost 4 lbs! My sugar this morning was 117. I had to put my glasses on cause I thought I was reading it wrong. ROFL It is never that low. That is a good thing.
For some reason, I have been getting a Reader`s Digest in the mail lately. Yesterday was my 3rd. Either someone sent it to me or I dont know. I never got any conformation that I was getting it as a gift. It just started showing up..and no bill.  So if you are out there..Thank you!!
Anyway, the front cover of the new issue is about how to really lose weight. Scientifically speaking the government has been lying to us all along. Most obese people are suffering from a hormonal problem not a intake of too much food problem. They said if you ask an obese person why they overeat, they do not have an answer. It is chemical. It is like they are addicted to the carb and sugar crap.  If they change their way of eating, the pounds could drop off.  I do want to want to talk about the entire article cause I need more coffee. Basically, you should be following the tried and true diabetic diet, Atkins diet, or the low carb diet. But the Dr  does not want you to call it a diet because it is not temporary. We should be eating like our ancestors did. They knew to avoid carbs on a daily. They ate meat when they could get it and lots of green leafy veggies. You know those greens you pass in the produce aisle? No not the lettuce. I am talking about the greens. Collards, Mustards, Kale, Swiss Chard, Dandelion, Broccoli Rabe, and the like. Those are what you should be eating. I do now because of my vegan daughter.

So Fred and I are going to embark on a food experiment. We will go week by week.
I have talked about this before but I never got so fired up about it like I am now. We are going to eat all LOW CARB. We will be the Anti-Vegan! Except we will be eating veggies. LOL

So here are the things we cannot have.
Potatoes, pastas, white rice, sugar, candy, sweets of any kind, fruits, fruit juices, oh and I forgot..no bread. No sugary drinks like soda, canned iced tea, Gatorade. Nope. Only diet flavored.
Here are the things we can have.
Beef, Pork, Poultry, fish, cheese, eggs, butter, oils, Non-Starchy Veggies, pickles, etc etc.  We can eat as much as we want. If I wanted to eat a half a chicken for dinner with a side of creamed spinach..go for it girlfriend!!
The sugar is going to be hard for me. I use one teaspoon of sugar in each cup of coffee I drink. Most days that is 2 teaspoons of sugar. I think I may let that be my cheat..for now.  Fred will probably cheat with his Gatorade.
That is basically it. I have a recipe for mashed cauliflower that tastes just like mashed potatoes. We can have spaghetti squash! LOL
I am going to try this because I want off of my insulin. If I can do that..I will be victorious.
I am wondering if Fred and I could eat some different gluten free pastas, if that would be okay. I will learn more on that.
Today I am making a big pot of French Onion soup. I have french bread to toast for floating but NO NO NO. We are not going to have that. Plenty of cheese instead!
This morning I am going to make bacon, grilled onions, cheese and eggs in a big ole messy scramble. Enough to fill us up!
Wish us luck...