Monday, March 5, 2012

MockingJay Monday and Fibro Flares and Reflections

European Robin red breast
 I finished MockingJay last night at 330am. So I am done with the Hunger Games series. It was very good. I liked it very much. I also like how it was wrapped up nice and neat. No loose ends. I do not like who had to die but somethings have to happen to move a story along. Now I have Wolf Gift by Anne Rice to read. I am going to start that tonight. It is a new library book so you only have a certain amount of time to read it before you have to bring it back. I am back to loving to read.
   It is chilly out today. Lots to talk about so this will be a jumbled post.

   I was thinking of doing that yard work I was talking about but brrrr! I want to do some Spring Clean-like stuff but I do not know what. I could clean out the food pantry. It needs to be emptied, wiped down, and organized. I also have to clean the damn fridge. You would think scientists would figure out a way for the box to clean itself, huh? I really dislike my life of domesticity but what ya gonna do? I just do not want to do anything. I am not depressed. I am starting my Spring time Fibromyalgia flare up. Happens with every drastic seasonal change. Summer into Autumn and WInter into Spring. Or I just took a fucking stupid pill. The bad hormones have worn off and I am just me. But I am still stupid.  This will last until it stays a steady 60 degrees out. Then I will be fine until October. So if I sound stupid, or cannot form sentences correctly, or get know why. I have lost my mind and my coordination temporarily.
   Fred told me that we may be getting a very BIG flat screen tv in the not to distant future. His god mother is going to be buying a larger one for her husband and is giving us the one they already have. I think Fred said it was 46 inches. We are going to have to re-arrange the living room if that is the case. And I will have to call the cable company to come move the wire. Holes will have to be drilled. But I want that TV! 10 years ago when tube TVs were still in fashion, I bought Fred a 26 (32? i don't know) TV for the living room when I got my first check from Social Security. We never had a TV that big, ever. He was thrilled. Now people have TVs so big they would not even fit in my house!  46 inches! I cant even imagine it!  If it happens, I will definitely take a picture!
 I have to ask a serious question to myself. I thought going number 2 once a day (sometimes twice) was normal. Now that I am drinking the orange sludge, I am on the crapper at least 4 times sometimes 5 times a day. WTF? Is it necessary for me to shit THAT MUCH? I have things to do. I have places to go! I have to take Chelsea to New Haven on Friday for a job interview and I am worried about having to go. That is not normal. But I will continue to drink that crap because if I do not, the gastro will say I am non compliant. I do not want that. He will give up on my ass .And that would be a bad thing.
Now on a serious note. I have to talk about something that pertains to some friends of mine.
 I am very conflicted about something. I have been called out as being not caring to others in some situations. That I have changed the subject TOO SOON in conversations with a group of friends. The gist of the entire group is to change the subject on a constant basis. We actually laugh about it. But I guess I have been lax in paying attention. I am sorry that I have not allowed others the spotlight that they deserved. It will never happen again. You have all given me what I needed and I have not done the same for you. I get it. I am insensitive.  I need to just walk in and be absolutely quiet. Do not answer anyone's questions for fear that I might piss somebody off again. Or I could just walk away for some serious reflection.  I really have been  thinking that  I may just  step away for awhile...or all together. I do not know yet. I dislike that I have been wrong but I also dislike that I now feel that I have to walk on egg shells.
We shall see.

Okay, I have had my coffee and it is time to do something around this Pit. Toodles


  1. Are you going to go see The Hunger Games when it comes out? I'm excited for it. And I agree about it wrapping up well and not liking that death.

  2. Yup. It starts on March 23.

  3. I understand reflection, it's something I do often. It helps me sort through things in my head. I hope you don't decide to walk away from your friends. They would miss you :(

  4. I was so excited to talk about THG that I skipped over the "going away" thing. Don't you go anywhere. I need you.

  5. You need me? I am here but you really do not need me. I am just a person out here in cyber space. That has been having a bad run of luck and is in a funky mood constantly. I should call this blog Fuck You, I am a bitch! Cause that is all I seem to do lately.
    Nothing really positive. Who wants to hang out with someone like that Granny?