Cookie Time

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I actually have a whale cookie cutter that will make whales in that shape. But I am not in the mood to mess with Royal icing today. I want to make some Toll house cookies and a big glass of milk!
I still feel like shitty shit but I can tell I am feeling a little bit better. It is cooler and less humid today.

October is fast approaching. No more $500 from Natalie being a child. And I have her birthday and my trip to Jersey to pay for. Friday I am going to go to Amtrak to buy the tickets for my trip. I want to have those so I will not find a reason not to go. It is not because of the trip or who I am going to see at all. I want to do it! It is the money. I will find reasons why I should not spend that money on the trip.  I need a new pair of sneaks, I need to think of what I am going to pack, there is Natalie`s birthday, and Halloween. I have alot on my plate this month. More then you know is in the back of my mind.
So I can totally understand why I want to take a siesta from my normal duties in life. Fuck it!
I do not want to do it right now. LOL
I want to play on computer, watch tv and bake cookies to eat.

Positivity!

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I am in a better mood today which is sort of surprising. I need to be more positive. Noticing that you can be a downer is not cool. It is Autumn now and I am happy about that. We do not have any cold or colored leaves yet but that will come. I would love to go to the cider mill today but it is the weekend and that place will be a mob scene. I will wait until the middle of the week.
 Fred is home today  (Yay!)and he is not going to his friend`s house to watch football.
He is going to help me clean the house! I am so happy. When I have someone helping me, it does not seem so daunting. Of course our darling daughters will not help but I am not going to get into that today. I will bitch about them another day. LOL
 We have to go out and run some errands. The Wii sensor bar on top of the tv is not working, so we have to go replace. It is not a bunch of money so it is no biggie. And Nintendo now makes wireless ones, which is so much better then the one with the wire. I am going to pull all the boxes out from under the tv and all the dvds and dust and wash everything.
As for the busted Mac..Fred and I discussed this. We are going to buy a cheap $300 laptop and then we will have 2. Then we will save for a Mac. That way, there will be no fighting over this one and we will survive until I can get a new desktop. If anyone knows of any good cheap laptops, give me a note to let me know.
Ok, I need to finish my coffee, take a shower, and start to working. I know I should probably forgo the shower till I am done but it is humid and I feel icky.

Happy Sunday!

RIP Mac

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I should have known when I saw Chelsea had completely turned off the computer last night that something was wrong. My Mac desktop is dead. It comes on and you can browse for like 5-10 and then this pain in the ass colored circle comes on the screen. Usually it would go away but now it wont and you cannot close out the browser to start all over again. You cannot do anything. You have to turn the computer completely off. So yeah, it is dead.
I have this Dell laptop that our friend gave us. We are all going to have to use it and some people are not going to be happy. It was given to ME. But someone thinks it is theirs. You have to basically wrestle it out of her hands to get to use it. Sorry bub. We have no other options but phone. You all are NOT going to take over this computer and leave me with nothing. I forbid that shit.
I guess I will get more housework done huh?
 A replacement desktop Mac will be $1200-1400. If I wanted to be spiffy and get a Mac Book Pro (laptop) then that is $1400-1800. As you can tell from my writings, I do not have a pot to piss in. I do have a window to throw it out of though! LOL
So there will be no new computer in this house for some time. I do not want to sound like a snob but we like Apple computers. We like the fact that you do not get viruses. I want that again. She lived 4 years. That is a good run.
I am sounding all sad.
Frankly, I am. So many things have been coming up and NOW the computer dies. I was able to save all my pics and paperwork on the external hard drive. Yay! I hope Chelsea gets the chance to do the same.

This sucks! Really. I keep staring at it but that does not mean it will make it all better. Cant fix it because it will cost too much (i already know).

Okay..back to life. I guess I can wash some floors or some stupid shit like that.

Chocolate and Pap Smears

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I am feeling better this evening in the way of my flying hormones. Phew! This month was a bad one. I do not usually get emotional like that but I guess with everything weighing on me at once, it was bound to happen. All I know is, I want chocolate. And no candybar will do it. I want some cake I think. Too humid to bake at home so I think I will go seek something out after my...pap smear!

  That is right, in the midst of all this mess and tears, I have to go to the Gyno for a annual check up. I have not been in a couple years. I have some questions. I want my hormone levels checked. I think they are lacking. Boy, that is wayyy too much information but I have never held back before. I think my libido needs a boost. I know that it could be better then it has been. I also want to know if the HPPV that I have is one of the cancer causing strains. If I do not have to worry, I should know.
Then there will be the freaking Mammo. Oh yeah, big tits love getting smashed down flat on a plate. You look down and you are horrified. Yup, that is part of my fate for tomorrow morning. I took a bath and I am all perfumed up for tomorrow. Except for this pesky period...
As long as I get my chocolate cake afterward, I should be good!

This parody is funny!

I have had a really bad day today with having a heavy assed period and the Facebook fiasco. This made my day. I almost snorted Diet Pepsi out of my nose. Enjoy!

Facebook sucks ass

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I have to agree with what my friend Deb said to me a little bit ago. I am in the beginnings of my Autumn Fibromyalgia flare. It happens twice a year. I have been ignoring the fact that it is coming. I have been continually feeling more crappy as the days move on. I have SO MUCH TO DO but my body and mind wont let me. I want to cry.
 I am having a mini meltdown today. I think it is the flare and all the changes going on. Next month we lose $490 from Social Security forever, Netflix boned everyone up the ass with streaming and dvds, my local newspaper, The Day, has now started charging to read the paper online and now Facebook has screwed up the feeds. I am not good with change. Okay, I am good with some change but when everything is thrown at me at once, I do not do well.
Okay, now I am crying. My family does not do jack to help me around the house but the continually want me to do for them. What`s for dinner? Fuck! Make me fucking dinner for once!
   I am constantly sleeping and I have a cough that is worrying me but the Dr does not think anything of it so i guess it should be fine.
My house smells of dog that needs a bath, my fridge smells of something citrusy icky, there is laundry, vacuuming, bathrooms, linens, organizing (because I organize shit like a bookshelf and then SOMEONE comes over and fucks it up and does not put it back the way I had it). I am sick to death of all the fucking clutter. And it isnt even mine!! There are bills to be paid, papers to shred, books to pack into totes cause there is no fucking room. It is just constant. I am embarrassed by it all. My family says it does not matter and that when people come over they do not think anything of it. BULLSHIT! If I went to someones house and it looked like ours, I would wonder why Mom was lax in her duties. So that is just a line they say to get out of doing anything. All I get are complaints and demands. The economy needs to fucking change cause I am tired of living like this.

Boy, can you tell I do not feel good? And I have to go to Family therapy tomorrow. Woop de doo lala!

I am going to steal the laptop and go to bed. End of fucking story. Fuck you Zuckerberg!

Food Budget

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I think I have used this picture before but it fits into what I am talking about so I am gonna use it.
  I did not go grocery shopping in the classical sense this past Friday. I went to the food co-op to pick up a few odds and ends for the vegetarian but otherwise, I did not go. I have food in the fucking house. Lots of fucking food. In the freezers and in the cabinets. The only thing I really need to buy on a weekly is toilet paper, paper towels, and some dairy. I need to pop into the store today and pick up coffee grounds and cream. I am TRYING to save money. I spend $100 a week (give or take) on groceries. That is $400, sometimes $500 a month! That is fucking ridiculous. Granted, if there is a sale on those big packages of hamburger or pork chops, my ass is going for it. But I should not be spending that amount of money. I need to hark back to when people made due. You cooked everything from scratch..except the bread. I will do some artisan bread for grins and giggles but I am not baking household sandwich bread.
  I want to see if I can cut our food spending to $200 a month BUT there will be alternate months where I will spend that extra to fill up the cabinets. Enough of spending tons of money on food that ends up in the garbage.
 There is a smell in my fridge that I cannot distinguish where it is coming from. Fred and I did a sweep of it yesterday. I tossed out anything old or suspicious. There was nothing that made us go EEWWWW!
Smell is still there. I will have to clean the fridge.
But see what I mean. I threw out about $30 worth of food. There are people in this country that cannot afford that luxury. So I am going to stop it in our house. It is going to be eaten dammit! Before it goes bad.
I will shop this Friday. I will need to.
But for this week, I did not.