Thursday, January 7, 2016
It`s a new year..new meh.
*232* <--wasting awayyyyyy awayyyyyy!
Happy Happy 2016 to you all. I just celebrated my 47th year on the planet yesterday. We went out for Vietnamese Pho and I had cake. It was a good day.
I wanted to wait a bit before I posted because I didn't want to post all the negative crap over and over. I was really sick. I am still not well in the gut but I am better. My incisions hurt when I roll over but otherwise they have healed well. I am still not able to eat alot of different foods and that explains the weight loss. It is good to lose the weight. I am happy for it. I am only 21 lbs from my goal. Just a bittersweet way to lose it. I will not get into gross specifics but my gut will not be well for a long time.
I had some reflection after all of this. My stubborn ass didn't die. I was in the hospital, close to crashing but I didn't. This means something. I have to make more time for myself. I have to make more time for my man. I have to do what I want with nobody making me try to change. I have to open up to new things and I have to let some shit go. I have been holding on to some old friendships that have disintegrated in the hopes that they can be revived. One in particular. It has been a year since she ended our 7 year online friendship. I have given myself permission to let that sister go. I will always love her but I just cant keep being upset that she doesn't love or care about me. She has her reasons. And I now have mine. I have wasted too much with hope for that. I am closing that door.
I just put the sweet potatoes in to roast and I am stupidly eating one of my bon bons I made at Christmas. I will pay dearly for that later.
Our weather has finally become seasonal. We havent had a snow storm yet but it will come. There is the El nino which is giving all of us a weird winter. My hope is we get hardly any snow. We were slammed so bad the past two years that we deserve a snow break. I hope I get my wish.
One plan is to get me a new laptop very soon. I was able to get Kid #2 one very cheaply for Christmas so I know I can scout me out one too. Enough of this fucked up keyboard! That is about all I gotta say right now. I see the gastro at the end of this month and I will know more about my gut. If I am quiet, it is because I dont want to sprinkle the negative everywhere.
I hope you all have a good new years and I pray we all have a great 2016.