Thursday, April 16, 2015

Spring is here finally

CT College Arboretum


    I was all geared up to go to the neurologist yesterday. I had my list of things to say. I was going to advocate for myself. Then their office called to say that the computers were down. They were cancelling all the days appointments. They would call to reschedule when the computers came back online. My next appointment shouldnt be TOO far out. Really?
 Let me back track since I have not been around. Since a bit before Easter, I have been ill. I have a 24/7 headache. I take naproxen, it makes it bearable, but it comes right back after the pill wears off.  I have a host of other symptoms one of which is clear liquid likes to drip out of my left nostril. After talking with neuro, it was decided I would have a brain MRI. He was going to check to see if my mastoids were okay and something about high pressure. 
  I am open to any diagnosis that will give me clarity and hopefully a cure. What I am not open to is bullshit. I have family and friends calling me a downer. So I just keep it all to myself now. I went to my GP for a regular diabetes check up...he said it was just a headache. I should go see the eye doctor. I should go see the ear dr. I should go see the neuro. But it is just a headache.  There are more symptoms then a headache but I wont go into it. My quality of life waxes and wanes day to day. 
 I fear I will have to fight to be helped. A friend of ours is a nurse practioner. She believes me. She believes that I am leaking CSF fluid and the pressure in my head is starting to effect my eyesight. But I have to get the actual Drs that will help me to listen.

I had to become a bit proactive because I have that control thing about myself. I dont drink soda. I have lowered my sodium intake. That has seemed to help a bit. I have to lose weight. I am at a standstill at this point even though I am eating 1200 calories a day. I really cannot exercise because of the way my head feels but I try. I took a walk with the kids yesterday at that park in the picture. It was good. There were hills. It made us breath heavy and break a bit of a sweat. It felt good to be out. Yesterday was a good day. I had too much sodium with dinner last night and I am paying for it today.

That is what is going on. I think I know what might be wrong but it could be anything. Whatever this headache/pressure thing is, it is effecting my left eye. I have make appt with the eye dr but I have to have the cash to see her first. Hopefully next month.

I am down. I am sad. I keep my thoughts to myself for the most part because nobody wants to read it. The people that I used to have in times like this, I have no more. I guess that is my karma. I am a asshole so I get to deal with this internally.
I thought I would just post this so people would know there is something going on.

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