I am a bit sad about Robin Williams. He made me very happy when I was down. I always knew he felt the same way I did most of the time. That is what funny people are like. Happy on the outside. I hope that he has some peace now.
I have been slowly purging and cleaning today. I HATE cleaning up after other people. I HATE being asked to do shit but never get anything in return. Ugh. I cleaned the ds bathroom because it was awful. I dont use it unless I have to pee really bad. That is the kid`s bathroom. They are 20, 21, and 25 but refuse to pull out the Ajax to scrub the tub. I wait till I cant take it anymore. I want my empty nest dammit!
I went to the endo yesterday thinking it was my 3 month diabetes check. uh huh. It was a physical. He gave me a new insulin to see if that helps with the itch. He also set me up with a nutritionist to get my food life in order. I asked him to give me the full truth about my fatty liver. He said that I have n.a.s.h.
He said that most people with it, never know it. There is a small subset of people that it could progress to cirrhosis of the liver. He wouldn't say if he thinks I could be in that subset. He is a very straightforward person. He will fucking tell you. So I think he cant answer it but he didn't say I wouldn't be. I have symptoms and pain. He said no more booze, no OTC pain relief, and lose weight. That is what will help reverse it. I am going to rely on my instincts. If I dont change, I will have major liver issues.
That being said, I am back to what I started last year. Same time of year, Same station. I will eat the way I was supposed to stick to all this time PLUS I will give up all carbonated beverages. Something about them weakens the flap that closes off the esophagus to the stomach. I have a six pack of orange that I will enjoy this weekend and that will be that.
Same eating as before. Low carb meaning no pasta, rice, potatoes, or breads. Lots of veggies and fruits. Low fat meaning lean or no beef, lean or no pork. Much poultry and fish. Lots of fish! Tofu and limited eggs. Limited dairy but I will consume some but low fat. I will use vegan substitutes when I can. Soy milk and Almond milk. Low carb grains, nuts, seeds, and powders. Salads up the wazoo. So if I have a chicken burger..it will be with no bread but a salad instead. You all know what I attempted before. I lost 30lbs and kept it off.
First goal is 210. I have 35 lbs to go. I could probably accomplish that buy Christmas. Back to the gym. Back to walking..bump heel or not. This is not a experiment this time. I have to do it forevah!
I am basically talking to myself at this point. I know I have people that read this but nobody replies. So this whole thing is splayed out for me. If you are one of those hateful bitches...you know who you are...<---I know you hate when I do that...Fuck off! Keep your snide thoughts to yourself.
I hardly think of you unless I post something like this one here. . Why not go make your husband happy for once, fuck him, and stop being so bitter.
^^ That was menopause at it`s best.
Great cool weather out there. I am going to get off here and start some laundry.