The Change

*244*<----For reals!

  It is going to be a hot one tomorrow so I want to get much done today before then. It is just after 8am. I have watered outside plants, planted cucumbers, picked a couple strawberries, made coffee and consumed one cup so far. I have so many things to do but I think I will concentrate on cleaning the kitchen, getting Portuguese soup going in crock pot, bake the chocolate bundt cake I promised for FD, clean the downstairs bathroom (yuck), and work on sorting through all the shit here in the dining room. I would love to own a pretty round dining set with four chairs. I am tired of how crowded it still is in here. Everything in time.

  I have some changes going on in my life. My oldest has flown the coop and it is looking like when she comes back, it will be temporary. The youngest is working, making that green. Eventually we might have a empty nest.

  I am going through some changes too. I am in the thick of perimenopause. I didn't get my period. 12 days late so far. I was wickedly bitchy but that went away. So I am thinking it aint coming this time around. It is weird. I thought I would be happy like I joked for years but part of me doesn't like that it didn't come. I really have to make a appointment with a new gyno. I just keep putting it off.

  The other thing that has changed is my energy levels and cognitive, which I have talked about before here. Why I mention that is because I think I want to try to go back to work. Full time work. Making a living wage. Partly because we need the money. Partly because I feel I can do it and at least want to try. I am afraid nobody will hire me. I am 45 and have not worked in 12 years. I have a large gap that would be in my resume. How do I explain that? You tell them you were on disability and your resume would go in the shredder. I cannot work corporate retail at all. My right hip is a issue where I have to be able to sit down periodically so that I am not in immense pain. Baby steps, though. I have to get some therapy first to prepare myself for this. Then the next step is to talk to Social Security about it cause they have a back to work program. After that, I dont know. It has been 12 years. Almost 20 years since I interviewed. I would know where to look.




  I feel like that I could really do this. I just have to dip my toe in. This could be a second chance at earning a living. That would be very exciting.
As for my diabeetus, it is what it is. Some days are good. Some days arent. I am doing well with the low carb eating.  I havent gone extreme yet cause I have to wait for money to buy all my supplies at the end of the month. I have lost weight so that accounts for something!