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Slowly the funky mood crept in today. I have so much shit on my plate lately. I have to write an article that I said I would do today but that aint gonna happen. I still have to finish Fred`s paperwork for Yale. We are going there on Monday so I am not happy about that either. I have bills. I have two adult children that do not get the fact that money is tight. I was late again with the mortgage (had to fill the oil tank)..The dude sent back my check and wants me to talk to him. I got this today! So the office wont be open until Monday but I cant talk to him then cause I will be in New Haven!!! He is gonna want to know why I am always late. He will suggest we refinance and I will say NO. He cant really make me, it is a government loan. That is totally up to us. This dude just wants to yank my chain. I will just tell him that the economy sucks and we are slowly adjusting to living on less.
The house is a mess. And no one is around the help...ever!
Shit creeps up on me and makes me depressed. I have been fighting a strong urge to smoke. OMG! It is strong. I have not smoked and I am still strong enough that I will not..but it has been very hard.
Now you could say..well you should have not gone to the casino last night. Your right. We shouldn't have. But then what? We never get to ever have any fun?
If I wanted to pay all my bills every month and be free and clear..this would be a sad house. I would have to get rid of cable. I would keep internet cause I would just slash my wrists at that point. No outside food ever. No shopping unless it is for groceries. Nothing else. Just pay the bills. And do not drive around cause that costs money for gas. No entertainment what so ever. That would be amazing? Wouldn't it??
I already had to give up so much, let me give up the rest of my luxuries. No NY Post newspaper ($1).
I am tired of having family say..Let`s go to the movies and YOU pay. We have to have dinner now cause I am sooooo hungry. Oh I dont have any money.
I think I am going to try an experiment......No spending for a month.
Things I will spend money on:
Bills, gas for car, groceries, prescriptions
Things I will not spend money on:
Newspaper, coffee, soda, bottles of water, pizza, take out, late night run to taco bell, anything at 7-11 that is not gas for car, gardening stuff, miniature stuff (yeah right..I had to give up spending on that hobby cause of money), etc etc etc.
Objective: To have both of my daughter`s uber pissed at me by the end of the month.
They will fight it tooth and nail. Especially when they find out that EVERY meal is going to be in house. When I was growing up, we rarely had take out. We might have a pizza or KFC (back when it was good) for dinner but basically it was all home cooking.
Wow..this is a long depressed rant. I hope nobody read this. I just had to let it out and there is no one to really talk to about it RIGHT NOW. I think that I should consider doing something along those lines. Farmer`s almanac said we are going to have a cold September and October. It is going to be a rough one. I need to think about that. I am also thinking about the fact that I have to go see my friend in Colorado in September. I have to still save money for that. The price of airline tickets doubled from last year. Ugh.
I will deal with the Mortgage dude on Tuesday. He will probably want some of my blood. He can have it.
I wish I had no worries right at this point.
I'm on the same financial boat, almost, but minus the kids and the mortgage (we live in his parents property) living week to week on his paycheck. It's gonna be hard, especially if your kids are oblivious to the situation. If they wanna go to out, say fine you can go if you have money to spend. Being adults they should be having their own spending money anyway.
ReplyDeleteI also grew up on homemade food, for us to go to a BK or a KFC was a rare treat, we didn't go out to eat much even though at the time when I was growing up we could easily afford a meal or two out of the house.
I feel guilty sometimes about spending money on fun stuff because of all the bills we have to pay...but hey we would be totally miserable. When Shep was unemployed 4 years ago, it totally killed us...I was still trying to become a legal resident of this country so I couldn't work...we lived on his credit card for three months, then got another one, and another one and we are still paying.
Good grief, you are havng a rough time. Email me your address- I'm going to send you a free mini - hopefully it'll cheer you up! Caro.mfw@gmail.com Caroline aka Hummingbird Miniatures
ReplyDeleteThank you for acknowledging even though I told you to ignore me..LOL
ReplyDeleteI think Fred having to go to a Yale Dr (again for the same thing...different Dr) has finally unhinged me. I will be okay. I am going to call the mortgage dude early in the morning tomorrow instead of waiting until Tuesday. It is like pulling a splinter...I have to pull it.
FYI.no danger of losing house. Just late and I have a another new mortgage person that is really gung ho.
Caroline, I sent you a gmail.
Meissa,
ReplyDeleteIt has been a slow fall into obscurity of money. They totally understand that they can pay for their own shit. They just want to see how far they can play me. Also, Fred and I have been spending for ourselves finally and they do not like it.
I am making them to sound like evil children but they are not..just typical kids from the 90s-00s. Entitled when they obviously are not.
Their lives were butter for years. They never had to live like most of us had to at one time or another.
I lived in the 1970s. I was in high school in the 80s. I know what it is like to go without.
My paychecks as an older teen went to feeding and clothing Fred. Food Stamps did not last to end of month, so I would feed him because most of his paycheck was given to his house.
Here I am ranting again...LOL So Meissa..I get what you are going thru..You wish the mailman would trip and fall into a ravine (with his mail)..never to be heard from again. HA!