Erma was my hero

*265*

 If you have no idea who Erma Bombeck is you can read about her at the Erma Museum.org. She wrote books and newspaper columns about marriage, motherhood and being a woman. I read all the books she had written and she let me learn how to get over myself when it came to having perfection. There is no such thing as perfection when it comes to kids, animals, school, husbands, housework, and all the other bullshit we put up with. She made me feel like I was wasnt such a failure at this whole mommy and housewife gig. I have been trying to aspire to her philosophy on life ever since.
 Now back to cleaning the icky kitchen and NO..I havent captured the damn centipede yet. It is being sneaky.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather rambling about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted
in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more
while watching life.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment, realizing that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's"

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute . . .
look at it and really see it . . . and never give it back.”
― Erma Bombeck

Centipede under the Stove

*265*


  I wish washing dishes made my hands silky soft.  Quite the opposite I am afraid. I am the lotion queen around here lately.
   It is in the 80s right now with a dew point of 75. It is going to get hotter. My ass is staying in the house and doing some housework. Fred just came in for a bit from being out. The whole midsection of his shirt is wet with sweat. Yuck! Love you to bits but do NOT touch me. hehehe
  Anyway...Raymond and the girls tell me that there is a centipede that hides under the stove. They say it is not HUGE. The cats like to sit in there and stare under the stove. I need to rectify that situation. I am not going to be cooking and have some hairy legged beast crawl on me. So I am going to do my some of my Fall clean a little early. In the Fall and in the Spring, I pull out the stove and the microwave cart and wash the floors and walls behind them. Fred helps me with the fridge at another time because I cannot do that on my own. I hope..HOPE it does not crawl on me. I will stomp on it as hard and as fast as I can. I hate centipedes just as bad as I hate cockroaches (lived with them back in the day).
 So today is going to be a kitchen cleaning day. And a towel washing day.
  Yesterday, I finally got my period after it being 6 freaking days late. I was such hormone infested mean monster it was unreal. And I could not control myself sometimes. I got my period and poof! it was gone. It was a hot and humid one yesterday so it just came over me that we all needed to pile in the Jeep and go to the beach for an afternoon/evening swim. Fred did not join us this time but he said the next time, he definitely will.  We were not alone on the beach at all. Full house. The water was gorgeous and cool. No jelly fish and just a small amount of seaweed. It was great! We stayed from 5pm-6:30pm. We started to see moon jellies and decided it was time to go. I think we all slept good last night from that.
That means I am washing laundry today also. Sweating while I work! The old fashioned way to lose weight.
Let`s hope it is a tiny centipede and it does not have any relatives.
Wish me luck.

We have centipedes!!!!!....!!!!!

Milo is getting big

*278*

New England House Centipedes are the most disgusting thing on the planet. And I have seen about 5 so far. I know it is because of the rain and dampness. No water in the house but plenty of it around the house. The house is just sticky and that (plus spiders) invites them in. I saw one last night scutter across my bedroom floor and that was IT!
I am going to get this new stuff called Raid Bug Barrier and I am going to go shopping for a dehumidifier. Those two things will make these long legged bastards go away! I have been able to tolerate the spiders all these years but this is my limit. We do not have like thousands of spiders but a few and mostly Daddy Long legs which Chelsea says is actually not a spider. (i need to look that up). So yeah, I am a little freaked out because they are gross! I decided to show you a cute picture of Milo instead of a dreaded and yucky multi legged bastards of New England.