Erma was my hero

*265*

 If you have no idea who Erma Bombeck is you can read about her at the Erma Museum.org. She wrote books and newspaper columns about marriage, motherhood and being a woman. I read all the books she had written and she let me learn how to get over myself when it came to having perfection. There is no such thing as perfection when it comes to kids, animals, school, husbands, housework, and all the other bullshit we put up with. She made me feel like I was wasnt such a failure at this whole mommy and housewife gig. I have been trying to aspire to her philosophy on life ever since.
 Now back to cleaning the icky kitchen and NO..I havent captured the damn centipede yet. It is being sneaky.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather rambling about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted
in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more
while watching life.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment, realizing that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's"

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute . . .
look at it and really see it . . . and never give it back.”
― Erma Bombeck