In the continuing saga that is my life, I have added a quick December chapter to 2015. I dont work in a office but Matt Bellassai is a hoot. I could use the laughs. My gallbladder has betrayed me. She is full of stones, inflammed my liver, and making me miserable. Surgery is for this Friday. I had some weird itching that turned into bruising on my thigh. I am waiting the bloodwork to see if it is my liver complaining. It will be outpatient so I can whine in the comfort of my own bed. Dairy will never be my faithful friend again. BooHoo! So I am eating broths, jello, etc. Of course I am losing weight. Good thing but not the reason why. That is about all I want to talk about now. I got some bodily maintence stuff to do today. Hair, eyebrows, and a pedi. Gotta look fresh as I can for the surgeon. Edit: I am propped up on the couch surrounded by pillows and I am watching cooking shows. My surgery was yesterday at 1130a and I came home at 530p. Nobody told me how painful this was going to be. I have had lap procedures before but the cuts in my upper abdomen hurt soooo badly. The oxy is not working long enough to take the next oxy. So I just endure. Tomorrow will be a better day. Positive! My liver doesn't hurt anymore! For that I will suffer. You only have one liver and you have to treat her like a queen. I am a doer so for me to be stuck on the couch sucks major. But that is okay. I will be a good girl. I promise.
It is a hot and muggy Summer day today (and yesterday). I have been sitting around in front of fans in shorts and tank tops. Hubby is making dinner on the grill. I just cannot do it.
I think the evil diamox has messed up my gut. I have been told by my endo to push the fluids today and I will see him tomorrow morning. I have pain on my right side like when I had my liver troubles. It is a constant nag that has gotten worse over the days. I get sharp pains, nauseated, gassy, and just feel ill. TMI!! I have no trouble with #2 but afterward I feel like I still have to go but I dont. I have a slight appetite. It could be my liver, my gallbladder, or my pancreas, I reckon. Whatever it is, I aint staying in the hospital. I refuse! Okay..if it is serious I will go. But otherwise I want to just make it go away. So yeah..what do I do if I have to start the diamox again if that is what is messing with my gut. There is only one other pill. If that doesnt work..... Yeah..nothing positive to say. I will post what happens in the comments. I wish to be happy again.
I am a bit sad about Robin Williams. He made me very happy when I was down. I always knew he felt the same way I did most of the time. That is what funny people are like. Happy on the outside. I hope that he has some peace now.
I have been slowly purging and cleaning today. I HATE cleaning up after other people. I HATE being asked to do shit but never get anything in return. Ugh. I cleaned the ds bathroom because it was awful. I dont use it unless I have to pee really bad. That is the kid`s bathroom. They are 20, 21, and 25 but refuse to pull out the Ajax to scrub the tub. I wait till I cant take it anymore. I want my empty nest dammit!
I went to the endo yesterday thinking it was my 3 month diabetes check. uh huh. It was a physical. He gave me a new insulin to see if that helps with the itch. He also set me up with a nutritionist to get my food life in order. I asked him to give me the full truth about my fatty liver. He said that I have n.a.s.h. He said that most people with it, never know it. There is a small subset of people that it could progress to cirrhosis of the liver. He wouldn't say if he thinks I could be in that subset. He is a very straightforward person. He will fucking tell you. So I think he cant answer it but he didn't say I wouldn't be. I have symptoms and pain. He said no more booze, no OTC pain relief, and lose weight. That is what will help reverse it. I am going to rely on my instincts. If I dont change, I will have major liver issues.
That being said, I am back to what I started last year. Same time of year, Same station. I will eat the way I was supposed to stick to all this time PLUS I will give up all carbonated beverages. Something about them weakens the flap that closes off the esophagus to the stomach. I have a six pack of orange that I will enjoy this weekend and that will be that.
Same eating as before. Low carb meaning no pasta, rice, potatoes, or breads. Lots of veggies and fruits. Low fat meaning lean or no beef, lean or no pork. Much poultry and fish. Lots of fish! Tofu and limited eggs. Limited dairy but I will consume some but low fat. I will use vegan substitutes when I can. Soy milk and Almond milk. Low carb grains, nuts, seeds, and powders. Salads up the wazoo. So if I have a chicken burger..it will be with no bread but a salad instead. You all know what I attempted before. I lost 30lbs and kept it off.
First goal is 210. I have 35 lbs to go. I could probably accomplish that buy Christmas. Back to the gym. Back to walking..bump heel or not. This is not a experiment this time. I have to do it forevah!
I am basically talking to myself at this point. I know I have people that read this but nobody replies. So this whole thing is splayed out for me. If you are one of those hateful bitches...you know who you are...<---I know you hate when I do that...Fuck off! Keep your snide thoughts to yourself. I hardly think of you unless I post something like this one here. . Why not go make your husband happy for once, fuck him, and stop being so bitter.
^^ That was menopause at it`s best.
Great cool weather out there. I am going to get off here and start some laundry.
No gym for me today. I had a nice all day kind of work out. I do not know how much snow we got but it was fucking cold out there. I actually had to come inside and add another shirt under my fleece.
I personally shoveled the back patio, porch, steps, walkway, steps, around both cars, and brushed them both off while they warmed. Then I drove across the bridge for an errand. Took the kid to a Dr appointment, pharmacy, gas for Jeepo, made my lunch, cleaned cleaned cleaned, and I just threw a whole chicken in the oven. I had said that I was going to section it and make oven fried chicken but I was not in any mood to mess with that shit. Phew!
Of course everyone was sleeping. They did not hear me stomping around in my work boots at all. You can never awaken someone from a fake sleep. I know that is right. Eh! I burned some calories and gained some muscle. But I am rightfully tired and could really use a nap. That wont happen. The chicken has to be turned in an hour (2 hours 20 min to cook) and I have to peel potatoes. Oh the life I lead. So glamorous. So fucking boring. I am surprised any of you follow me at all.
What is Heidi up to today? A biopsy? Or attempt to make creme brulee?
I feel good up stairs in my head. I am good spirits. The CPAP is finally given me a bit more energy. But my gut is just not right. I hope hope hope it is not something sucky. I did talk to my Liver Sister today and she assured me that a liver biopsy does not hurt. They numb you up nicely and you just feel a pinch. I was worried about that. But that could be the next thing on my journey.
So yeah..that is all for today. Snow snow snow and it is oh so fucking cold. Gonna try not to fall asleep by going in the kitchen and brewing some coffee.
*249* <------According the Gastro`s scale on Friday. Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
See! I told you that I would come back. I think I will post every Saturday or Sunday. Other days if anything juicy happens. I did not go to the vascular surgeon on Friday. They had to reschedule cause he had to perform surgery. So I will see him at the end of the month. I did see the Gastro. Ho Hum.
He tells me that my pain is a couple of things. One area of pain has to do with my exercising. It is muscle strain and it will take my body time to adjust. The other pain he wants to have checked out. So next Tuesday I am having blood work and an ultrasound of my abdomen. He wants to see how my liver, pancreas, and gallbladder are. I KNOW that my liver is enlarged cause I can feel it and it hurts like before. But I am not really eating any fat. So it should not be in pain, but it is. So we will see on that one. I finally asked him what he thinks is going on with my liver. I said most fatty liver has no symptoms. He says Yes. I said that I have symptoms. He said this is why you have to eat healthy and lose weight so you can get off the insulin. He said I have the kind of fatty liver that could turn into non alcoholic cirrhosis. or liver cancer in the future. I got my answer, but I did not like it. I told him about not being able to tolerate any dairy, beef, or pork. I was thinking about being a vegetarian. He said that he is almost a veg. He occasionally eats fish. So that I can forgo the things that hurt me and eat everything else. I am going to work on that. There will be lapses but if I work hard at sticking to my plan with the deletion of beef, pork, and dairy..I should be good. I hope. I see him in a month and he wants me to lose 5lbs.
So, yeah. It seems I have fucketh my selfeth in the asseth because I ignored my diabetes for 13 years. Assholeth!
I have been walking and going to the gym on a pretty regular basis. I really need to invest in some better sneakers. The ones that I have do not give me the kind of support that I need. I want to walk 2 miles a day (weather permitting) and I will hurt my feet again if I do it in the snazzy sneakers that I have. I tried on a pair of 18 jeans but still too small for me. At least that pair. But I have a pair of size 20s that I bought last month that are starting to fall off me. I have shirts that I would never wear cause they did not *cover* me the way that I felt comfy. Now they do.
That picture up top is a IMUSA caldero. I bought one at Walmart two weeks ago and I am breaking it in today. It is a really big one, 36 cm! It cost $22. Because it is cast aluminum, you have to season it first. There are lots of videos online to show you how. I have chili cooking it but my ultimate goal is to use it to make jams. It is heavy so I will not have to worry about the jam burning on the bottom.
Now the chili has ground pork in it. I wanted to use it instead of tossing it. I cooked it thoroughly, and then rinsed all the grease off. I am good to go. The chili has onions, garlic, yellow and orange bell pepper, white and red kidney beans, ground pork, roasted cherry tomatoes, two cans of crushed tomatoes, cumin, oregano, chili powder, cayenne, salt, pepper, and paprika. I probably missed the kitchen sink too but that is the gist of the meal. I am going to freeze some for a later meal. This is why I made a HUGE amount.
It did not snow today. Just a bunch of rain. It is going to dip back into the 20s next week. Yuck on that! I have to get some oil for the tank. Hoping what I got will last till then. Spring is just around the corner, I keep telling myself!
I am here! I am here! Lazy blogger, I admit it. Life and the damn N have gotten in my way. Forgive me.
I am going to the gym today so that will make it three days in a row. My ass is sooo tired but I need to do this. I am discouraged that the scale has not moved much but I am not dumb. I know that it is because I have bee working on my core muscles and muscles add weight. So eventually, I will see a drop in the numbers. I am not gonna let it stop me.
Revelation the other day. We had baked pesto pork chops for dinner and I had spinach and salad with it. Really good. I was not even halfway done with the meal and my liver started to protest. At first I said that I am going to become a vegetarian and this is a strong possiblity. But I am doing baby steps. I have given up pork and beef. They both hurt me so they had to go. I will stick with chicken and fish for now and see how that goes. I am having a pain issue someplace else in my gut and I have a bumped up appointment with the gastro on MLK jr birthday. It is at the point that all fat is hurting my liver and maybe he needs to go in there and look around. I do not want that but if this keeps up, I will be eating strictly rabbit food. But you know me, I gotta keep on keeping on. I think tummy issues will be my Lot in life. No more bacon. That is gonna be rough.
I would highly recommend getting a Ninja blender if you can afford it and want to add juicing to your diet. All of us LOVE IT! And it is super easy to clean. I hate cleaning standard blenders so when I realized that the blender part comes right out, easy peasy to clean..I was completely sold on it. I also wanted to share a guilt free treat. You take 4 frozen bananas and put them in the food processor. Whiz until smooth. You could add a bit of peanut butter, Nutella or nothing at all. Instant ice cream! Hubs did not realize it was NOT ice cream until I told him. Give it a try. It will give me something sweet to eat that is non dairy. Cause all dairy seems to hurt this bitch for some reason.
**I am trying to hurry up and get everything in cause I have to leave for the gym soon.**
My birthday was good. I am still not liking 45 but I just put this coat on. It will take me a bit of time to get used to it. The cake was marble and yes I had some. Two pieces over the course of two days in fact. I was able to transition right back to eating healthy. Hubs and I were married 21 years this month and his birthday is at the end of this month. We are going to go out to dinner and celebrate all three the last weekend of the month. Eating out will be a challenge but I wont let that sway me.
As for the new me not giving in...it is working. I am saying no more. Getting stank looks in return but this is a change for all of us. Right now it majorly sucks because we have the new yearly medical insurance deductible so we have to pay for everything!!! So it is easier to say no. I just do not have it to give.
I really gotta go now. I PROMISE to post again today cause I have a recipe to share. It was sooo good!
I took the kid to get her birthday tattoo yesterday. While she was at it, we both got matching tattoos of an acorn. Now the picture i took of it sucks ass..so I will get a better picture of it later and put it in my next post. It is the size of a real acorn and he touched up my finger moustache.
I just finished bagging up all the magazines to go to the hospital. Then I need to make vegan cupcakes for a friend. Going to run to co-op to get castor sugar. I want to start the trim this week..yes we have not painted a damn thing. So much going on and I have not been feeling well. Feeling nauseated and in pain. Sometimes I think it is my liver other times I think it might be my kidneys. I see the urologist on Wednesday. I threw up on Friday evening. I felt so green. I threw up everything. I do not think it was food poisoning because I felt better after I did it but my liver hurt before and after. So I think that had something to do with it. I did not have anything greasy. Oh well. Life goes on.
I am here. Just not all together with it. I figured I would post so you all that read it know I am still here. I am still going to the gym. I just do not announce it. I think the gym is part of your routine in life...why announce it the world or Facebook? I think those that announce they are at the gym on a regular basis are just wanting some validation. I showed two pictures when I started in the beginning. That was it. So people that KNOW me know that I am going. Everyone else has no clue. I am getting stronger in the legs, I can walk farther without huffing and puffing, and my gut and boobs are shrinking. I wish the fat in my face would disappear. That would be nice. All in do time.
Time to get moving. It is noon and I am still in my jammies. Have a nice Sunday!
I have been busy working on this new way of eating and it is working ya`ll. I think the way the Dr spoke to me and told me what was going on made something click. It has been over 10 days. I have been eating strictly low carb low fat. I have tested the fat waters once or twice to see. I KNOW that the fats hurt my liver and I will refrain from over indulging. You can never cut fats out of your life because you need them to survive. But it is low fat eaten sparingly. Fish, seafood, chicken, turkey, eggs and I had some lean ground pork yesterday. Any vegetable you can think of cooked or raw, fruits, hummus, almonds. I drink a whey protein shake with almond milk for breakfast. I have snacks of raw vegs, fruits, low fat yogurt and cottage cheese, hard boiled eggs, and nuts. I have moments when I whine about it because I crave certain things. But I do not eat it. I only eat what is healthy for me and will heal my liver. I am taking supplements to help me along the way also. I just cannot explain it. I am strong enough to say NO to all these foods. Plus I am enjoying the food that I am eating. I was going to join the gym today but I had a couple bills to pay and I did not have the extra cash to sign up this week. I will sign up next week most definitely. I need to start moving so that I can lose weight faster. My insulin is the lowest dosage since I first starting taking it. I used have take 35 units of Lantus a night...now it is 13. I used to shoot up with Humolog every time I ate. I only need to take a little in the morning. The only diabetes pill I am taking is Metformin.
I feel better on the inside. And the pain in my gut is being managed. I think I have figured it out.
Met the new Gastro today. Hubs went with me for moral support. I just did not want to go and have someone tell me nothing. He did not do that. He was straight forward and funny at the same time. He knew exactly what was wrong with me. I have afatty liver. Now, I was told that by the other gastro months and months ago but he downgraded it as not a big deal. Guess what? Major big deal. When you are having pain in your liver, that is not a good thing at all.
He agreed that I needed to go to the weight loss seminar next week. It would be for my benefit. I have a list as long as my arm of things I cannot eat. I found something online that looks just like he told mehere. If you go down to the section where it says a few tips, then you will know what I am up against. Short version...Low carb (no whites), Low fat, and every other day my meals must consist of fish and salad. That is it. No coffee. Low fat dairy sparingly. NO BACON!
The list goes on and I do not want to rehash it. If I do not work on fixing this, I could end up damaging my liver. My liver! So I started today and for dinner I had salad with red wine vinegar and two small pieces of flounder that was baked with no butter or oil. He told me that I need to lose at least 40 lbs to start off but I am going to probably have the WLS so even better. There is no cure. You can just hope by changing your lifestyle that you will reverse it or help heal it. MY FUCKING LIVER!
Not only has my whole way of living up until this point been dumped on the floor but I have to worry that I am killing my liver with my food choices. NO MORE COFFEE! <---I am going to have to slowly work on that. I do not want to deal with having headaches and withdrawls.
So yeah. For those that are keeping a sad score. I have type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, sleep apea, reflux, and now fatty liver. I am definite candidate for the surgery. I am just going to do it. DO IT!
I will learn now how to live on less food so when the time comes, it wont be so horrid.
You are all up to date. You will either cheer me on, pity me, or be a total bitch like I know two of you can be and cackle like the skank bitches that you are.
