A new year to conquer

*237* <----I gained but I got it back down to this

  I have a feeling you have all disappeared because of my blogging hiatus. I really wasnt planning on coming back at all. Life got away from me and this was not something I had time for. I mean, theoretically, if I did want to do it, I would find time to. But I just did not. If you had been waiting for me to come back, I am sorry.

    You still know I am alive because my IG is attached and you can see my postings. You can also see that Keiko is a BIG girl. She is my sweet little muffin baby. She is not nice to everyone else but me. And that is how it should be. We lost Perla last month (the chihuahua). Vet thinks it was an bad intestinal infection. It came on quickly and took her without her having to go through any trauma going to the vet. Ruby is the lone dog now. We have put her on a diet and she is liking her single status. But we make sure not to say Perla`s name. She looks around for her if we do.

  About 2 months ago, I started a new way of eating challenge. Because of my diagnosis of Psoriatic Arthritis, I wanted to try not to take any strong medications for it. I was given the idea that I should eat AIP (autoimmune protocol) and Keto (because of my blood sugars). These two styles of eating for health come together as a very harsh harsh way of eating. HARSH! I had fallen off the keto wagon and gained about 20lbs. It was all stress related to health stuff. It was time and with a good talking to, I embarked into the AIP/KETO. I did not fully immerse myself into fat, and I was hungry all the time. I decided to give myself the Christmas holidays to indulge (but not over indulge) and pick back up on it for January. And here I am. AIP?KETO consists of avoiding grains, gluten, nightshades, nuts, seeds, bad for you oils, all fruits but berries occasionally, dairy, eggs, rice, high carb veggies, coffee, and sugar. I have been drinking tea in place of coffee and it has been okay. I have a nice strong English Breakfast that gives me the caffeine I need to get through life. 

  I do not want to get into my health woes anymore. If it is something serious, I will mention it but otherwise, I am gonna keep it to myself. That is probably why I have no followers because it reads like a pity party. It isn't but some may perceive it that way. I do want to mention a couple things. I had a architectural distortion removed from my breast, it was not cancer. I did BRCA 1 and 2 genetic testing and it came back negative. I could still be positive though. It is weird how that stuff is but the girls are safe. I was supposed to start taking a cancer drug this month but I decided against it. The side effects were too much for me to want to have to deal with. I will be having a MRI and Mammo on my breasts every six months to make sure there is no more growths. My gut is good and bad. Because of my change in eating, I have healed alot of my ulcerations and I am in good status with my colitis. I did find out from the new gastro that I am celiac. It explains alot.

  Right now, at this point in my life, I am doing okay. My birthday is on Satuday. The big 49. The last of the 40s. I will miss them when they are gone. As for the new year, no resolutions but just realizations. I have to stay with AIP until all my symptoms are gone. Then I slowly re-introduce foods on the no list. Some I will be able to add back, some I will never be able to eat again. Wheat and all gluten of course. I will stick with that modified AIP and Keto for as long as I am allowed to. I want to really start walking. It is way too bitterly cold here in the Northeast but when it gets back up to the 30s, I am out there. I have the sneakers. I have the socks. I have the clothes to get the job done. It will be better for my arthritis anyway if I stop being so stagnant and move my ligaments and joints. So walking and eating for health are #1 and #2 on my life realizations.

    Clutter has gotta go. I have been saying this for years but now I mean it. I want to get rid of anything that is just not worthy of this tiny space we have in this house. I have been tossing stuff that is garbage, donating , and selling since the Fall. Now I need to step up my game. I have books to donate, treasures to sell, and clothes to purge. If I have never used it, it has to go. I tend to hold onto some things because of nostalgia or it is old and I must own it. But I think I am done with all that. I want to make run for other things. Crap that is collecting dust and has no purpose for us can leave this house and give someone else a purpose.  DeCluttering in 2018 is #3.

  Money. Money has really been difficult this past year. I have been working with a state agency to get help with getting a job. I really want to try to do it. I am at the stage now where I am very close. I had two really good job interviews. I did not get the jobs but it is good practice. Now that the holidays are over, we are flooding my resumes out there in the ethers and hoping someone wants to give this old smart girl a chance.  I have always said, I need to budget. I need to save money. Blah blah blah. And then I do not do it. Once I wanted to try a no spend year. Nope. Then I tried No Spend Months. Nope, could even do that. I have a new attitude about it now. I aint spending any money. I have bills that need to be paid and paid off. I want to not stress about tax time. I want to have a nice job with some little part time job on the side. Make a good amount of money, be out in the world with people, and just enjoy that part of life that I have missed for the past 16 years. Have a healthy relationship with Money is #4.

  That is it. I have four goals for my life right there. I hope to at least accomplish them all. LMAO. I am realistic. But I have been thinking about this stuff since way before the holidays. I may fail at them all but I am going to try and we shall see how it goes.

If anyone is still out there, I am going to try to blog once every Monday. I will put it in my calendar to remind my forgetful ass.  I guess I could say Blogging my shit would be #5 on that list of life affirming junk.

Toodles. :)



 


   

Help meh save!

THIS is not spend fast worthy!

*250*

  That is a tattoo on MY right wrist. It was done during a special tattoo event for Friday the 13/Valentine`s Day. $31. The owner printed it much bigger then it was supposed to be. He also came to see what it looked like. I think he wants it too so I promptly thanked him for the upgrade. Oh yeah. The kid got one too. So after taxes and tip, I was out $80. It was a bonding moment. We had both been itchy for one. This reminds me of elementary school. Every morning I watched Tom and Jerry while I ate breakfast. If you know T&J, you get the tattoo.
Pretty cool, huh?
Ummm no. It isnt. I am so stupid. I cant even follow a simple task of saving money. I am so utterly broken that it is ridiculous. I would ask for advice but nobody comments or probably reads for that matter. Bots dont respond either.  You that read are not Bots. I apologize for that. I just need some cheerleaders and there aren't any.
 I think it is hard for me because of when this started. I still have $2k to *spend* before the deductible is reached so all is out of pocket. We have been having awful month winter wise. I just paid a huge electric bill. I will probably have to pay taxes this year. Plus I have car taxes and car reg coming up for April so I feel like I am constantly digging out. It is a lame excuse but it is how I feel.
 I also have the influences of the family. They pester me to get this. Buy this. And I have to be strong.  I have to say no no no!

How do I stay strong?  How do I not spend? *whine!*

It is very hard for us to do the *eat from the pantry* way of saving cause we already eat from it. I guess we could eat Ramen and split peas for dinner. Yay! I have been looking up recipes with things I already have in the house.
I was so proud of myself when I saved over $60 at BJ`s Wholesale Club last month and not on frivolous stuff either.  Part of me knows I should do coupons but my brain is not good like that. This has turned into a total crybaby woe as me post but I had to do it. I have to own up that my family and my hair trigger spending finger are to blame.

I think the snow is getting to me. Really I do. It is snowing right now! Has been for a couple hours. I have to go out to shovel after this post. Today I will shovel, water plants, clean/organize food pantry and possibly ignore my taxes for another day.

Spending Fast Game Plan:

Do not veer from the list of approved expenditures.
Do not buy processed foods unless extremely cheap.
Plan Garden for this year.
Put money aside till end of month.
Use that money to pay off a bill that has languished forever.
Lather Rinse Repeat until debt is paid off.
Save Save Save afterward.

Question: Is spending on supplies to make the raised veggie beds a okay expense? It will ultimately save us money in the long run.
That I would like another opinion on.

Today is Fat Tuesday. I have red beans cooking in slow cooker to serve over rice with baked chicken wings. Lots to do today.
Have a great last day of debauchery before Lent!

Dreaming of Spring

Cortlands and MacIntosh

*253*

   My dining room table has these three bags of apples on it. Macs and Cortlands. The room smells nice. I was able to get these for $5 a bag. They are each almost 20 lbs each. That comes to 25 cent a lb. I have decided to do some apple sauce but also some apple jelly. I have to see if I have any more cheese cloth. I love being able to buy something cheaply, make it into something good, and it saves money.

  But first I have to clean house. Ugh.

  I am a person that has a really tidy and well ordered house...in my mind. Yeah, not so much in reality. I have dusty window ledges. How do I tackle that when I have so much to do? It is my running theme in my life. I am a sick person who likes to live in a clean home but lives with family that has ADHD.  It is a freaking party! I try to rein in my ADHD tendencies by sticking with one or two areas of interest a day. The kitchen is always part of that list. It is always a mess in the morning. Always! I never wake up to smooth counter tops and everything put away. Today I will also tackle the downstairs bath. That is the *children`s* bathroom but it is also the one that people would use if they came to the house. It is like a fucking swamp. I leave it till I cant take it anymore. Those will be my two areas of interest. The vacuuming, recycling, mopping, dog washing, stair sweeping, dusting, laundry, and general decluttering will just have to wait it`s turn for more energy.

  Yeah, more energy. That is a funny notion. I miss the days of being able to do what I want and my body doesnt betray me.  I will need to muster up plenty of that fabled energy soon. My bestie, A, has some very bad bad back issues. She will need surgery. She is weaving through the maze of worker`s comp now. I am her friend and she will need my help through this. Rides to the Dr. Care after surgery. I have already started cooking meals and slowly cleaning her house. Cooking and cleaning for her but there are her Mother and Son living there also. Yeah, you read that right. I have two homes to clean. I am not complaining. I love her and it has to be done. I just dont know how.  If you have any ideas, just let me know. I fear that this could hurt me. I am already dealing with something neurological that I dont wanna talk about. It will have to wait cause I dont have the time or the money to afford being laid up right now.

  Positives for today are always good.  The furnace is wonderful. I have it on the low side. It is 20 something out but the house is good. You need a light sweater but we aren't millionaires.  I bought a primrose plant for 25 cents. It breaks my spend fast but I needed to see the flowers that it brings. My friend gifted me a blu ray player. I have to hook it up. Very happy about that! Hubs birthday is next week. I havent decided on the menu but he will have a Almond Joy cake. Oh yeah.I am actually starting to like my grey hairs that are popping up. I have decided I wont color. I earned every one of them!

I will post about the spending fast this weekend. While it supposedly snows.

Spending Update #1 aka I SUCK

*255* <----I effin gained. Must stop that now!


   I have done really good at saying no to myself. I was all ready to buy yarn today to make a scarf but I said no. But last night I was super tired, didnt have the energy to cook so we all went out for breakfast. $60. Dummy.  I suck at this. But I have to continue. Fall off the horse. Get right back on. Right back on! Yay!  I have to be strong.

  The furnace is lovely. We have heat all over the place. It makes us all happy. I have to curb the dependants though. They think constantly jacking the heat up to 70 is just because they endured a month with no heat. Yes, we were cold. Yes, we are good now. Still costs money to run that you are not providing.


 I have to get dressed here soon. I have to go grocery shopping and later this afternoon I have to pick up a couple batches of apples for super cheap from the farm I go to. $5 for half a bushel. I will make some apple sauce and a pie. Like my fat ass needs a pie.

  I gained weight! My clothes still are okay but I gained weight. I have to stop this today. The holidays are over. Time to rein in the junk food. Healthy eating. Cottage cheese! Veggies! Yogurt! Fruit! Protein! Whole Grains! Water! Walk away from the bread, pasta, rice, and white potatoes, girlfriend. Chocolate is not your friend right now.
 Oh yeah..I am probably going thru actual menopause now. Periods will be days and days late then when I get it, it lasts a day. A DAY!  Woot Woot! I really have to buy myself a good pair of sneakers with some inserts. I have to get my walking back on. Stupid feet. Stupid diabetes.

Okay, I am done with all that wallow. It is a cold and sunny day. I am going to enjoy it!

Queen of Heata!

Isnt she pretty?

Woot! Woot!
WooHoo!
Yes! Yes! Yes!

 She was installed on Wednesday. Just before the bitter bitter cold hit that night. It took the crew six hours to take out the old and install our Green Queen. She is energy starred! The house was so warm that night. The bubbles were warm too. Ahhh!
 I have to thank everyone that helped out. Without you all, this would have never happened. Today I had oil delivered. The electricity bill came too. $380.00 for that saga. Wow! That is alot. Thank goodness that I have the money to pay it.

One less worry.

Oh, I have really gotten into this spending fast. I have not spent on anything that is not on the list. I have money in the bank. For a split second, I was gonna buy take out tonight. It is Friday plus it is our 22nd wedding anniversary. I even checked our bank balance. But I stopped. The answer is leftovers. Sliced spicy italian sausages on toasted italian bread with parm cheese on top. Heated in the toaster oven. Saves me money and there isnt anybody saying no fair!
I like it.
It feels good to not spend.

I am gonna go eat. I will post something tomorrow!

Happy 46!

Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday to Me!

  It is fucking COLD! COLD! COLD! Right now it is like 15 deg F but feels way colder outside. I woke up at 530am to check and turn off the kerosene heater. It will stay dormant for a hour or so. Then he will fill it up and it will be nice and warm again. The full tank lasts about 8-9 hours. Today it will filled three times. This morning. This afternoon. And topped off again before bedtime. Tonight`s temps will be like 1 deg f so it is necessary. Thankfully, today will be the last day! YAY!
The plumber is coming tomorrow morning! WooHoo!  The new furnace is being put in! WooHoo! I will get a bubble bath tomorrow night! WOOT!
Yeah, that is way too much excitement. But you all would be excited too if you went a solid month with no primary heat source or hot water. This is monumental!

   Of course, shit comes in threes. The dog, The furnace, and now the Jeepo. We are pretty sure it needs brakes and probably rotors. This Jeep gives no squeak warnings whatsoever that you need to replace. You get a noise and three days later the noise instantly becomes loud, scary, and embarrassing. So yeah..another expense. It is okay. We will roll with it.

  The spending fast went off to a bumpy start. I did spend on three things off the list. 1. I was sick as a dog, so we had pizza one day. 2. We ran out of cream, I had a appointment so I spent $1.06 on a coffee. 3. I bought #2 a winter coat. She needed one, it was on clearance and I am okay with that expenditure.
 Otherwise, I have been following my rules. I have been saying no to myself alot.  Instead of dinner out for my birthday, we will have dinner in and play a board game. Hubby is buying my cake with his money. We really needed new pillows for the couch cause the dog is a asshole. I got 8 pillows for free. Really nice big ones. FREE! They could have cost me $20 a piece. FREE! See, I am learning.
Being sick as a dog trumped saving.

 I have to renew my driver`s license. Yuck. I should take a picture of my current one for comparison. I always smile too much. Makes me look like a damn chipmunk. If I smile too little, it will look like a prison photo. Oh well.

Time for my 2nd cup and hunt down my sweater. Have a great day!

Happy Happy 2015!

  Another year is ending and beginning. Shit has been in the works of change for months but are really being implemented for the coming year. It is time for me to prove to myself that I can do better for me and for hubs. 

AAAAAAHHHHHHH-CHOOOO!!

The cold is still hanging on and I am gonna go to the walk in later cause I think I  might have ear infection and god help me strep throat. I have to call the pharmacy to see when they close.


But that is just a side step. This new year we will have a new energy efficient furnace that will save us money in the long run. His job is not helping us with paying for it. He has to fax out papers to see if we will be allowed to take out a emergency amount from his 401k. Crossing fingers. We will use the Gofund with whatever he gets to replace furnace, pay the electric bill, put oil in the tank and buy me some fancy bubble bath...cause this bitch deserves it! The new furnace will save on electricity and oil consumption, it is a tax right off, and we can get a small rebate from the electric company..Score! So we wait a bit longer. I figured we would have a working furnace by my birthday (Tuesday) but that is not likely. Maybe the following week.

   The kerosene heater is ours to keep. It is a life savor! It keeps our little house very toasty when it is only 12 deg f outside. It will be good to have if the electricity goes out in the winter months. I am going to keep one or two of our portable heaters for just in case but I will probably give the rest away. I have a couple people in mind.


 Spending Fast 2015 starts tomorrow. Scary? yes. Uplifting? Definitely! I will do a weekly update on how I am doing and a monthly update on what I saved. It will be small amounts at first because we have the high insurance deductible to reach but after that it should be amazing.

Gotta go...Walk in clinic awaits meh,

Happy new year!!

Merry Christmas 2014

  I hope you all are having a wonderful Christmas morning so far. Hubs is off to work for 8 hours of double time. We could surely use it. There isn't much under the tree so everybody is sleeping in. Sounds sad but it is okay. This year just sucketh but we are all here. That is a good thing. It is almost 8am est and it is 54 deg F here. It will go up to the mid 60s when the sun comes out. Weirdo weather.
 I have smoked turkey necks bubbling away to make broth for the collard greens. We will have dinner later because he wont be home till dinnertime anyway.  I will putter around to get stuff done. I am glad for the warm temps.

   So next week is January 1, 2015. I have not changed my mind about paying off debt and saving money next year. I will be the most hated Mom on the planet at times but I dont care. The sick dog and a dead furnace have sealed the fate of our finances. I will be purchasing a fridge (yes..the old one is still kicking) and hubby needs new phone (old and cracked) after the furnace is fixed.  After those are done.. Spending fast at full tilt.  For the first few months of this year, it will be rough because we have that high deductible on our health insurance. We have to pay for everything medically out of pocket till we hit the magic $4k.  <----ridiculous!  I am positive that it will be very hard but the outcome for next December will be amazing. 
 Amazing, I say! 
 
   If I do what I plan, it shouldn't be too hard to achieve to pay it all off.  Bills, Groceries, Pharmacy, Gas, Dr appointments, and anything that is a REAL need. There will be a envelope with $50 every month for Hubs and I to do some fun. He is not completely participating. He will bring dinner to work but he still wants his small bit of money every week. I have obliged him that. All other shit will be a no. If we want it, we will have to go without or try a way to get it ourselves. I will document about it once a week.



They opened their gifts and there was a small bit of a smile from them both. I bought most of their gifts from local shops and I made them each two infinity scarves. It isnt a crappy Christmas after all. Yay! I bought two vintage cabbage patch dolls (1984) from Ebay for our niece. She is in love! I did good.
Okay, I have water boiling to wash dishes. I have a ham to dress for the oven, cupcakes to frost, potato salad to finish, and deviled eggs! Yes!


Merry Christmas to you all. Have a great long weekend.



I hope you all have a great day. Enjoy!