Heat Crazy!

*265*

That is from the tv show Foster`s Home for Imaginary Friends. Natalie and Chelsea used to watch it back in the day. Once they said this script of it is HOT in TOPEKA. Well, who knows how many years later and that is something I say cause it is too damn humid.
 I am going a little heat nuts. We are supposed to get some relief maybe today or tomorrow. More dangerous thunderstorms like yesterday will help drag the cold front in. Here in our area was just a couple booms and some rain. Nothing bad though. In upper part of the state near the Mass border was bad. Tornado watches and Flash flood warnings. Chelsea`s trip to New Haven got canceled because all the trains were running hours late and her commuter train canceled for the evening. She was very upset.
I keep talking about all this stuff that I have to do but I get started doing it and the sweat pours down. We need to buy another AC. Either a bigger one for the livingroom to cool off the whole downstairs or an extra one here in the diningroom. I have ac and fans going and still there is that clamminess in the air. Yuck!
 The only good thing about this weekend being a wash out is the rain. I do not have to water the garden. I should be down there weeding. I have been sick, it has been hot, and I just did not have the dedication this year to completely keep it weed free. I am embarrassed at the amount of weeds I let grow. Oh well. Season is almost over anyway. I will do better next year. This year was a disappointment anyway. ALL the broccoli in the whole garden (not just mine) bolted early. Before you could even get any. The kale is a late bloomer. The brussel sprouts are not performing at all. I have tomatoes, beets, and carrots. How sad is that?
 It was our crazy weather. This weather scares me some. I try not to think about global warming but it is right in my face.
okay, enough of that. No gloom and doom!
 Today is humid like yesterday. Gonna clean the kitchen and possibly get to the damn pantry. It needs to be cleaned! Shelves emptied, wiped down, and food put in bags for donation. Then re-organize and make notes on things I need for the winter.
 I think I am determined to do it this time! LOL
Wish my sweaty butt luck.

What an Inspiration!

*265*

This was posted with the photo on Facebook:
From Jessica: If I can make the change from being a sick, bloated, 100+lb overweight, medicated, stage 3 cancer patient to a thriving, HEALTHY, cancer FREE woman on a low fat, plant based, whole food vegan diet / complete lifestyle change... ANYONE can!

You just have to make the decision & stick to it. It's one day at a time. You can't look at this change as "temporary" while looking forward to

times to "cheat" with harmful foods - you'll never last that way.

I live my life 90% of the time I eat a VERY strict Dr. McDougall diet consisting of unprocessed, low fat, whole, plant foods and on a rare occasion I'll "cheat" and eat more fruit than usual or have a small piece of organic 80%+ dark vegan chocolate or some a vegan apple crisp dessert... but those are rare occasions and even in my "cheating" I am still 100% McDougall all the way. That's why it's a lifestyle, not just a diet.

I know that health come from the totality of your daily decisions - not just from a single component; that's why I exercise regularly, I drink 80+ oz of water daily, I sleep well, practice de-stressing techniques, laugh often, I am regularly educating myself through books, dvds & trusted sites on health & nutrition, read my bible & talk with my God daily. It's the totality of our decisions that create an environment for true health.

 

  Chelsea was a Vegan for 6 years. This past year she went back to being a vegetarian and then she was a meat eater before I knew it. She just decided she wanted to eat meat again. I do not know if I could completely go vegan. There are many things out there that substitute for cheese, mayonaisse and sour cream that are vegan. So it will not be very harsh. Just something to ponder of this sultry Thursday morning. 

   I am not saying that I am going to DO THIS because you all know my track record. :)  I get inspired, say I am gonna do it, and right back to eating an Oreo cookie! 

I have the website for this Dr. McDougall. If any of you are interested in reading what he has posted.  His way of eating is much stricter then just eating vegan. He wants you to not use any oils at all. Not even olive oil. He has cut all the fat out.
   I want to see if I can eat more veggies, fruits, and grains. Meat is going to become more expensive in the very near future, dairy too. Because of the midwest drought, the price of anything that comes from corn is going to go UP. So maybe learning to eat less meat and dairy is not a bad thing. I do not think I would give up eggs. We will be walking more because of the price of gas too. I hope it is not a harsh winter.
 Just something to ponder. This woman obviously turned her life around. I want some of that! I want to give up insulin and live healthier. I have four other people that I need to convince that this would be a good thing too. That will never happen. I think I could really go vegetarian, eat some eggs, soy based *dairy* and do not worry if something I am using is not vegan like the bread or whatever. I do not want to be a Nazi about it.  This could stick, or not. I have a freezer FULL of meat. And my ass is not throwing it away, giving it away, or donating it. So we shall see.

  If it does not rain later today, we are going to the beach for a nice soak and swim. Water feels good and there are not any jelly fish out there to worry about.
Get some nice summer exercise in!
*praying for no thunderstorms*

Erma was my hero

*265*

 If you have no idea who Erma Bombeck is you can read about her at the Erma Museum.org. She wrote books and newspaper columns about marriage, motherhood and being a woman. I read all the books she had written and she let me learn how to get over myself when it came to having perfection. There is no such thing as perfection when it comes to kids, animals, school, husbands, housework, and all the other bullshit we put up with. She made me feel like I was wasnt such a failure at this whole mommy and housewife gig. I have been trying to aspire to her philosophy on life ever since.
 Now back to cleaning the icky kitchen and NO..I havent captured the damn centipede yet. It is being sneaky.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather rambling about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted
in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television, and more
while watching life.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick, instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment, realizing that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's"

. . . but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute . . .
look at it and really see it . . . and never give it back.”
― Erma Bombeck

Photos for August

1. Outside

*265*

  A friend from Australia (Thanks Linda) showed a link to Photo A Day and how she was going to do it for the month of August. I guess people have been doing it for months. It got me interested and I am have been doing it. Now I got in on the tale end of the year but that is okay. It gives me a small purpose every day. I put them all on my phone calendar, then it reminds me that I need to take a particular picture and post it on my Facebook.  This one up top is the first one of the month.
 If you want to do it, go for it. You get to think a bit creatively on what your thing is going to be that day.

  It is another hot and humid one today. I am feeling like crap. CRAP! I think it is because I over did it in THIS heat and I need to relax. Maybe I will read a book. Maybe I will watch some more of season 1 of Supernatural. I have no idea.
Try to stay cool and hope for a breeze!

On the road again.

Major typos in this but it is still good thinking

*265*

 I have lost another 3 lbs that I have not gained back. So I float in the 265 range up and down a pound or two. This is good but not good enough. I was told by my shrink that if i exercise and possibly meditate or do yoga, that it will help with my menopausal symptoms. I found a cool website called The Perimenopause Blog. It helped so much with understanding that some of the stuff that is bothering me is perfectly normal. Like the head itching. That is a symptom. She described what i was feeling to a T. I was getting ready to have Fred check my head for lice. That is how bad it itched. Nope. It is the menopause. I need to make an appointment with my dermatologist though. There is a special shampoo with steroids in it that will help make it better. Cause it is driving me insane! A small part of me wants to shave my head, grow my nails, and go to town with the scratching.

  Soooo, I am going to be more serious then I have ever been about trying to lose some weight. Because you gain weight with menopause and I cannot afford to gain anymore. One of my friends has gone back to the gym after a hiatus, I think I should just do it. Fuck my inhibitions. I have lost all the good that I did. I had better muscle control, my back muscles were good. I could walk longer distances. And I felt good. Then I got lazy.
My period is here but it is not that bad. So I plan on going to the gym tomorrow in the morning. It is not supposed to be as oppressive as it is today. One of my goals is to go to 255 by September 1st. That will probably not happen but it would be something nice if it did. Wouldnt that be nice? Another 10 lbs down. Baby steps. I want that goal of 210 to happen one day.

Good News! Fred got back his test and it came back negative.  They still do not know what is wrong so he will have to get a follow up visit. That was a big sigh of relief after waiting three weeks for the results. I do not want to lose him just yet. I have been trying to get him to go back to the gym also. One of  his Drs told him that it would be good for his migraine/dizziness if he got regular exercise. If anyone has any ideas on how I can get him to go, let me know.

Hot one today so I am not going to cook the country pork ribs that I bought yesterday. I do not like them in the crockpot. I usually cook them in the oven covered in foil then put them on the grill for char and sauce. Too fucking hot for the oven. I am already insane because I promised I would make sheppards pie for dinner tonight. That requires about 15 minutes of oven time. I am not eating the potatoes. I try to avoid them unless I am a raving hormonal lunatic and I want Lay`s potato chips now. Otherwise, I do not eat them.
So I will probably make myself something else with the hamburger. Ho Hum.
Oh yeah, that low carb way of eating is never going to happen with all the people in the house. Unless everyone does it, there is too much temptation. Bread is always around. Pasta and rice are part of meals every day around here. I couldnt do it. So I am staying away from the whites and most definitely potatoes.

I am off. Laundry is calling.

Centipede under the Stove

*265*


  I wish washing dishes made my hands silky soft.  Quite the opposite I am afraid. I am the lotion queen around here lately.
   It is in the 80s right now with a dew point of 75. It is going to get hotter. My ass is staying in the house and doing some housework. Fred just came in for a bit from being out. The whole midsection of his shirt is wet with sweat. Yuck! Love you to bits but do NOT touch me. hehehe
  Anyway...Raymond and the girls tell me that there is a centipede that hides under the stove. They say it is not HUGE. The cats like to sit in there and stare under the stove. I need to rectify that situation. I am not going to be cooking and have some hairy legged beast crawl on me. So I am going to do my some of my Fall clean a little early. In the Fall and in the Spring, I pull out the stove and the microwave cart and wash the floors and walls behind them. Fred helps me with the fridge at another time because I cannot do that on my own. I hope..HOPE it does not crawl on me. I will stomp on it as hard and as fast as I can. I hate centipedes just as bad as I hate cockroaches (lived with them back in the day).
 So today is going to be a kitchen cleaning day. And a towel washing day.
  Yesterday, I finally got my period after it being 6 freaking days late. I was such hormone infested mean monster it was unreal. And I could not control myself sometimes. I got my period and poof! it was gone. It was a hot and humid one yesterday so it just came over me that we all needed to pile in the Jeep and go to the beach for an afternoon/evening swim. Fred did not join us this time but he said the next time, he definitely will.  We were not alone on the beach at all. Full house. The water was gorgeous and cool. No jelly fish and just a small amount of seaweed. It was great! We stayed from 5pm-6:30pm. We started to see moon jellies and decided it was time to go. I think we all slept good last night from that.
That means I am washing laundry today also. Sweating while I work! The old fashioned way to lose weight.
Let`s hope it is a tiny centipede and it does not have any relatives.
Wish me luck.

Sister, can you spare a hormone?

*265*
 Perimenopause!
 It sneaks up on you slowly. You do not realize it is creeping up on you until it is fully in your face.
 I have not had any blood work done to check my hormone levels so I am not completely positive that is what is going on, so do not quote me.  I have been having a troubling symptom that popped up in the past couple months. I will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with a panic attack. Not a fully fledged one with hyperventilation (thank goodness) but just the feeling that something really bad is going to happen. The first time it happened was awful. I did not know what to think of it. Then it would ruin my sleep for the next couple days. I would be fine and then it would happen again the next month.  I asked my shrink about it last week. She told me that it happens when women my age venture into to early menopause. I did not put two and two together that it was hormonal related until it happened last night. My period is 4 days late. So I am a PMSy mess.
There are a ton of weird symptoms that I have been dealing with this past year that I thought were just par for the course that is my life.
 Nope!
 Perimenopause!
 I have the list to share.

Leg cramps!
 I have been suffering like a motherfucker lately. I just chalked it up to my nervous system from the back surgery and/or the diabetes.
 I have found a damn liver spot on my face! I could go on but I will not. :*smile*
Now you might think I am freaked out about this. I am not in general. I just do not like the panic attacks waking me up. I never suffered my entire life and now I am having them wake me up at night. Not cool. Shrink told me to take an extra pill at night and get some exercise and/or meditation. Cut down on the caffeine and carbs in the evening. Getting the hysterectomy is not going to make a difference in my hormones. I will have a talk with my gyno and see if there is something he can give me if the symptoms get too bad. Right now I am not ready to go the HRT route but I will if I have to.

Natalie and I were going to go to the gym today but because I did not sleep at all, I cancelled until tomorrow morning. Fred came to bed late, turned off the tv, and I instantly woke up like someone had punched me in the gut. I knew exactly what I was feeling and I was not going to lay back down until I went downstairs and got rid of it. I grabbed the dogs, went downstairs,  took an Ativan, fluffed the couch cushions,  put on the tv and ate a Klondike bar. Within a half hour, the feelings of dread passed. Then I was in full insomnia mode. I watched Three`s Company. I realized two things. That I only like the shows with Chrissy in them and that was one jiggly show! I watched that show as a kid and had no idea. I was able to pass out for 3 hours. I will take a nap later.
I can totally empathize with those that deal with panic attacks on a regular now. I never could because I never had one.
Sucks being a woman sometimes.