Buy something Christmas edition

   I am learning through therapy that I have to dispel the words Should and Cant from my vocabulary. It puts up a brick wall for me. It paralyzes me to do things.  I have conditioned myself as a doormat for so many years to just keep the peace. Only their happiness.  It is time for me to do what I want to do. I want to save money! I want to fix up the house! I want to take back control of me!
 
    This leads to my Christmas plans. Hubs approves and he said just do it. I am not going to allow the children to bulldoze my ideas anymore.  I want to buy one of those small fresh $20 table top Christmas trees. That will be our tree. I am tired of dragging all the crap up and down the stairs. Small quaint decorations are best. As for presents, I want to spend a max of $50 per person times 2 cause Hubs will buy gifts too. That is it. Once January comes, I am not spending unless it is necessary.
    I did talk about buying a new tv for the livingroom but we shall have to see about that. It is not a forever no but maybe not for Christmas. I have important things that have to be done that cost money like have the junk out back removed before it snows.
 
 I have already implement a new no spend rule for right now. I am not buying anymore alcohol or cigs for anyone. Those are luxuries. If you want them, you figure out how to buy them. I am done. The kids need to realize that I am not their Sugar Mama. You have a place to live. If you want extras, figure it out. I am done supplying it. I have faltered before with this declaration but not this time.

  This is totally not a rant post. I had a very long therapy session yesterday and I have realized that I have to just stop worrying that my offspring will be mad at me. I buy them what they want cause they ask for it cause they know I am just too soft to hold my own convictions. I feel like I am being used in a sense. I feel that I am hampering them their opportunity to eventually leave the nest. I have to do this for Hubs and I.

  Quaint and small decorations. Very small budget for Christmas. Basically 1 gift each. Start saving for what we want to do. Buy nothing new. And no luxuries. I am hoping that this will be good and show hubs and I how much we really have.