I am dealing with the return of hot flashes and fibro flare so I am not a happy or cognitive camper right now. I will try to be uber positive even though I feel shittay. We had pizza for dinner last night. I ate 3 pieces of mushroom from a small pizza, so not large slices. I am paying for it in many gut wrenching ways. But that is life, and I move on.
Except for it being really cold, Spring is moving along nicely. I am going to wash all those pots and spray paint them. I was going to do it before Easter but we had that snow storm and lots of rain and wind. I have to catch a day with sunshine and no wind so I dont paint myself.
This poor duck had lost all his paint and started to become waterlogged. I dried him out and spray painted him with Valspar gloss. I covered his eyes and spent a couple days doing it. He is now rain proof and a nice bright makeover for the quacker. I am trying repurpose what I have to save money. That is the plan anyway.
I have been eating more veg since Monday. Easter was my last day of not following the cdiff rules eating. I have a fridge full of vegs and chicken. I will try my hardest to lose the 30lbs or at least 20 And to make my gut feel better. I have like a week of feeling great then I eat pizza and set myself back. I definitely have to stay away from grease and dairy.
Lu is not doing well. Her heart meds were upped again. She has fluid around her heart. She takes a diuretic and another pill. I wonder if she will survive this year. She is my love. I have never loved a animal as much as I love her. Because of her age, there is really nothing to fix it. I just love her and spoil her rotten while I still have her. She is 8 years old. We have had her for 6 years.
Okay, I am done for now. I am cranky and I have a sink full of dishes waiting. Have a great week!
What a beautiful day it has been so far. I have been in slug mode for the past couple days for whatever reason. This morning I had to have a abdominal ultrasound and afterward, I just felt like doing stuff. I am being careful to not over do. I will know the results on Monday. He wants to look at my pancreas and the spot on my liver. I am just going to go with the flow.
black one done last year
I have all the plastic pots, big and small out on the patio. They will be scrubbed and on a less windy day, they will all be spray painted in bright colors. I did a couple last year with Rustoleum spray paint and they look really good. I have a couple blues, green, and a fuchsia. I want to pick up a yellow and maybe a purple. They cost $3 a can. You can spruce up your old plastic stuff and it looks really good. It will be a nice little project. They will all have herbs in them. The bigger ones will have cherry tomatoes. There are a couple more in front that I have to empty and bring out back. What other colors should I do?
I did not buy corned beef this year. I cannot eat it and why stink up the house unnecessarily. I have pork chops marinating with garlic, black pepper, and spices. I have some steak strips marinating for this recipe I am trying out today, Low sodium Chinese Pepper Steak. I will do some white rice in the cooker and make a corn bread in the cast iron. I have been very bad with my food choices lately in terms of my brain. I have been all about my fucked up gut and threw my brain off in the corner. She didnt like that. Today she gave me a real taste of last year. Oh boy did I figure it out quick. I have my group that I will be more active in. We have all been lax with our low sodium for our iih. Hopefully this recipe will be a keeper and I will find others. I will be purchasing a new charcoal grill end of this month so i will be able to have lots of healthy grilled things too. Mmmm
So life isnt great but I choose not to mope about it. I am going to keep myself busy. If I could only stay up in my room and clean it. I have clothes to donate. And the room has to be switched around. I want all this done before it gets hot. Baby steps though... I hope you enjoy your day of Irish. Have a green beer for meh!
I have some good news for once. There are two very small nodules on my left lung. Very teeny weeny. I dont have to worry. Because I was a smoker, they will have to be scanned every year to make sure they have not grown. One down. I do the ultrasound mammo in two weeks. So yeah..this is a good thing.
I have to take this pill called Carafate. It is a high dose antiacid pill that will help with healing the ulcerations in my stomach and small intestines. It is so bad ass that you can only take it for a short period of time. This pill sucks with side effects. It makes me dizzy and my gut actually hurts a little worse. Especially when I eat. The gastro aprn is gonna talk to the gastro to see what he says. She wants him to put me on a proton pump inhibitor but I cannot because of the cdiff. I am cluster fucked basically.
It is absolutely gorgeous outside! It will rise to the 60s. I put on my first pair of size 16 capris in decades. Everytime I take the dogs out, I rake some more leaves, throw some more fallen branches, and corral some more petrified poop. GORGEOUS!
I want to spray paint the rest of my big plastic pots so that I can have herbs growing on the back patio. I want to buy a nice used patio set with a big umbrella and a new charbroil charcoal grill. I want to spend time outside! The grill has to be in the side yard now. All grills have to be 10 feet from the house. I have a place to put it. It will be good. I cannot wait!
After I drop the adult #1 off to work, I will make sauce for dinner. I have some italian sausages and I will do mini meatballs. I have a window open! It is Spring like and I love it. All I have to complete is our taxes. I have all the paperwork set up. I will do it on Sunday.
That is about it for today. Good news and a beautiful day. What more could you ask for, huh?
It is cold tonight but that will change as the days of Spring come upon us. I have started to slowly rake all the leaves for the beds so that my tulips and other bulb plants can stretch in the sunshine. Spring helps to awaken me.
I have not been feeling well. I have some major issues with my gut. I still have cdiff and I have ulcerations in my stomach and small intestines. Eating has become a challenge. I have figured out most things I can eat. The problem is I cannot take a proton pump inhibitor because of the cdiff but that is what I need for the ulcerations. I am a difficult case, I will be taking a Tagamet type pill that is prescription strength. I also have to take a pill that is used to coat the ulcerations to help them heal. We are hoping this will work, I can fit into a size 16 pants now. Pretty soon all the size 18s will have to go.
Last week I had a catscan on my gut to see what was going on. I found out a few things I didn't want to know. I have to go have an ultrasound on my breasts. There is some lopsided shit going on inside that needs to be looked at. They found a spot on my liver. We are going to wait and watch that. My liver panels are good so that is a good sign. They found a spot on my left lung. I am having a catscan on my chest this Friday. I have tried really hard not to worry but it can be so difficult. I will just wait and see. It is probably nothing.
My baby Lu is sick. She is my 8yr old Maltese Yorkie. She has heart issues. The pills are not working like they used to. We are trying some other pills and a antibiotic. I have to give those some time. She just started taking them. I love her so much and losing her now would kill me. So I have had much stuff on my mind plus I feel like donkey shit.
I am not gonna be positive tonight. But! I won't be a depressing sad sack like I was today. I decided not to post and took a long nap instead. It was the right choice. I feel a bit better. I ate a couple authentic tacos (stomach feels ok), and I am rested.
Tomorrow will be better because I will make it so.
I thought I would update. I just wanted you all (I really don't know how many of you there are :) ) to know that I am here. I just do not feel good and have nothing to offer that is uplifting at all. When I find out the spot is nothing, I will be able to move forward with this gut business.
Go out there and enjoy the fresh air!! Well not now, cause it is cold.
It will hard to be positive with this post. The only thing good I can say about my two endoscopies is that he didnt see anything that would make him think cancer. Which I am thankful for. I was told as per procedure, I have to wait for the card to come in the mail with my results. That will either be Friday-Monday. He wants to see me. He said to call after I get the card to make appointment so we can talk. Yup. The nurse that was attending me was reading the instructions and such and told me what his initial findings were. It said ulcerative esophagitis and colitis. I stopped her. Do you mean colitis as in inflammatory bowel diseases? She gave me a look and said to wait for the biopsy results. He took biospies from everywhere. If you have a IBD, the biopsy can tell them so. On top of everything else, I have either Crohn`s disease or Ulcerative Colitis. I am thinking it is the CD. I have what you would call Gastroduodenal Crohn`s..I am guessing from my symptoms.
I had a small introduction into it from the Gastro`s np. So I am not totally surprised and I am not freaking out. It is just another nail in my coffin. That is all. For some reason, the cosmo`s want me to suffer. There is not a part on my body that is not suffering. What am I supposed to do? Cry about it? I probably will later. But for now I am just going to live my life. And save up for a plastic surgeon cause as I lose weight, the skin will continue to sag. I will only look like Dovima with a body shaper to squish all the excess skin. My two besties were shocked at my appearance. You could read it on their faces. I have dropped some major stomach inches.
We finally got some snow. Two big storms a week apart. It is a cold and wet wonderland out there. I did slide on my butt while brushing off the car. I ha a good laugh to myself. I was okay. There is going to be 1-2 inches falling every day for the next couple days. And then a major freeze. Ugh. Kid #1 turns 27 yrs old on Monday. I am going to make her a cheese cake with strawberry sauce. Her favorite. That is my gift to her. I didnt get a birthday gift this year from anyone so I will do my best to treat them as they have treated me. I will celebrate their day but I wont buy a gift.
Arent these gorg? I have to find a place to get river rocks either free or cheap. This has to be done for my house garden. Here is the link if you want to do it too. I could see those all over my raised beds outside. Oh yes, the raised beds are going to happen. That is one thing that is going to happen, the raised beds out front with a cute fence to keep people away, kinda sorta. I want to be able to go out in my slippers to water and weed!
BRB D.O.G. wants out again...ugh.
I saw this on FB the other day. My Aunt made this once when her family came to visit mine when I was a kid. It is funny the things you remember. I posted it on her wall. She is in her 80s. She and her daughter (my cousin) were laughing. The grand daughter makes it all the time. She passed it down like I will pass down my bon bons.
I really need to find someone or someplace that can help me organize a big binder full of everything they will need to know when I am not here. Passwords, banking, account numbers, how much things have to be paid and when, recipes. All of it. I have to do it for my own peace of mind.. Wow that got sad real quick...sorry about that.
I have dishes to do and they are screaming to get done. I hope you are having a delightful February so far.
Tomorrow is the big day. Will we see 6 more weeks of temps in the 40s?? We have had such a non winter this year. I am loving it. I am one of the primary shovelers in the house and I am just not in the mood. We could get slammed. It could happen! This whole week will be in the 40s-50s (almost 60 deg f today) so if it is gonna happen, it should be soon.
My sort of resolution is working out pretty good so far. I decided since I almost died, I am gonna do what I want and say what I want. I am making myself be positive because nobody..especially me..wants to hear the downs all the time. Look. My physical life sucks ass. (more on that) and we all know it. Part of me thinks I dont have long on this Earth. So I am going to try to be happy, get my affairs in order, pay off outstanding debt, sell off my miniatures, teach the girls my secrets, and make a book for them so they will know everything. Insurance, bills, passwords...the whole shit show! I am going to stop putting off stuff so I can be happy.
Today I had a mammo. Just routine. I have to wait till my GP gets the results. Then he can schedule a ultrasound. My boobs are super dense even for my age. Cancer can hide in there so having the extra scan must be done. Then next Monday I will have my upper endo and colonoscopy. They gotta see what is going on with my whole gut. Lots of issues that I will share if they find anything. Like I said, trying to keep it positive.
I have two recipes that I wanted to share with you. One I have made this weekend and one I am making today.
The first is a pasta dish. It is called Chicken and Bacon Pasta with Spinach and Tomatoes in a Garlic cream sauce. That is a mouthful of a title! The only thing I changed was replaced the cut up tomatoes with a can of crushed. This recipe is a KEEPER! We all liked it and there were no leftovers.
The 2nd recipe is a rice dish. It is called Salsa Chicken Casserole. I am making this today. It looks oh so good. We usually do tacos on Monday so this is a good change. I am changing it a smidge. I took half a jar of salsa and a can of enchilada sauce and pureed it in the blender. That will replace the just salsa portion. And the chicken has been marinating in a dry rub of cumin, coriander, cayenne, paprika, chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder, salt, and crushed black pepper.. I think it should have more then just an afterthought off salt and pepper.
I will make corn bread to go with this. Sounds good, huh?
I have been selling off all my full scale miniatures. I decided it was okay to do that this past Fall. I discussed it with my therapist. I started off small. I am now just going for it. I have a few really nice 1/2 scale kits that a dear friend gave me. Part of the money will be used to buy 1/2 scale furniture and fixtures for those houses. My house is just too small for the bigger houses of my childhood dreams. If I died tomorrow, the Hubs would have chucked all the minis in the trash. That is alot of money spent. So I am selling them and giving stuff away. Clear the decks of all things unwanted and unloved.
That is about it. I wish it was Spring so I could plant but it isnt. Two more months to go!
We had blizzard warnings. We had coastal flood warnings. We had fools buying up all the french toast supplies. It was gonna be Snowapolis!! It was for many many many. Jersey shore was flooded. D.C., Maryland, and nyc got feet not inches. Our little neck of the woods got 4 inches. I think it is cause I really prayed hard. I was not in the mood for full scale shoveling. We may get another storm on Thursday but we best not. It is the Man`s 50th birthday and we have plans. I am trying to eat some breakfast this morning. My gut has been ick the past few days so this morning I have 2 scrambled, microwave cup eggs, a 8oz cup of plain kefir, and a bottle of water. Yeah I just threw the eggs away. I will stick with the kefir this morning. My gut is like an amusment park. Tons of fun until you puke. First week of Feb will be fun. I get to have a routine mammo and a roto rooter. Upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy. Yummmm! * I am irritated because my period is late and I dont feel good in the gut and the house is a mess. Watch out. I might bitch!* I was told by the gut dr that I caught the C-Diff too easily so that could mean there is a underlying reason. She threw out Inflammatory Bowel Disease aka Crohns or Colitis but I dont shoot blood out my butt so I think that could be a no. I worry what the underlying reason could be. I am being good and not dwelling on that. I might also have a esophageal stritcher which will need to be tapered. I have been having issues with food getting stuck in my upper chest when I swallow. I had a small ulcer and esophageal irritation two years ago, so we shall see if that has gotten worse. She is concerned that I am not back to normal yet and I am still losing weight. All I know is all of my clothes are hanging on me. My favorite pants dont fit at all. I have not gone out yet to buy new sizes but if this weight loss is a trend, I will have to.
I am doing things to make me happy. I have been watching some shows on hulu and netflix. I have been making arm scarves. And I have been resting my body when I need. I have realized I have to do for me now. I dont know how much longer I have on this Earth. Could be decades, years, or months. I want to make the most of every moment. And if I am a skinny bitch in the process, so be it.
