Out Out damn stomach contents!

*263*

Monday morning I woke up at 6am with stomach pain and nausea. I woke up before the alarm so the sickness woke me up. I wont go into major details but there is a reason the sink is next to the toilet. I spent the rest of that day and night in nausea hell. It was the stomach flu that is going around. Tuesday I was better but I canceled my ultrasound. I did not think it would be good to have someone pressing on my belly after all of that. Today I am finally *better*. My stomach is still fucked up but I am not queasy and feeling like major shit. I learned a couple things. Fred loves me and makes majorly good chicken noodle soup, from scratch (he stayed home from work to take care of me). Natalie loves me and she will lay in bed with you when your sick and pat your head. Raymond loves me and he went out into the night and bought me popscicles. And Chelsea loves me. She made me lemonade icee. She gave it to me at just the time that I really needed it. They all appreciate me. I may bitch but when the chips are down and Mom is moaning from bloat..they are there to make the day go by easier.

My ultrasound is rescheduled for next tuesday. I am drinking lots of water right now to plump up my veins for bloodwork tomorrow. Yeah. Lots of vials of blood. I owe the hospital a ton of money by now. I think Fred needs to go and tell them that I will pay them $5 a month. That is all I can afford. They will love that but that is what the union guy said to do.
I hope none of you get it. IT WAS AWFUL!

Birthday Cake Hangover

Audrey makes me smile

*267*

  I had a great day yesterday. It started off with me having a shitty day on Thursday. There was a fight with a group of friends, Lu had fallen down the stairs, and I got not so great news from the Dr. The good news is that I do not have any cancers that he could see. Everything looked good. No ulcers either. He said that I have a bit of irritation in my esophagus but it is normal range. So what the hell is wrong with me? He thinks I have a Stomach emptying disorder. One is called Gastroparesis and it can come from Diabetes. It kinda fits a bit. I am not happy about it at all. I am freaked out actually. He wants me to have an ultrasound, which is scheduled for this coming Tuesday really early in the morning. And they are mailing out bloodwork stuff for me to do. Then I will have to have an Upper GI series. I really do not know what that entails, but I will find out.
So as you can imagine, I was crying my eyes out by the time evening rushed around and the friend fight was going on. Oh, PLUS! Fuck! Natalie and I went to get my nose ring put back in. She lied to me. She told me it hardly hurts. Niki had to put a taper in to WIDEN to opening up to get the new earring in. FUCK! It felt just as bad as the first time.
 So yesterday was a really good day. We woke up and realized the Lu was fine. She did not break any bones and I think she was just screaming cause A. she bruised herself and B. she is a little drama queen. She went to the vet to get groomed and she looks wonderful with her dark purple tail feather. Then I went and got my hair did. Couple inches off the back, tapered in the front and bangs shaped up. I got a wash, dry and style and I was off and running. I got hit on by some young dude in the Dunkin Donuts drive thru. My ass did not realize it until I was driving away. I would have given his ass a bigger tip! LOL
 Fred and I went out to dinner, went and lost money at Foxwoods, and had birthday cake with the kids. It was a nice day all around.
Now I have a mountain of dishes in the kitchen. MOUNTAIN! There is all sorts of picking up to do and I did NOT grocery shop yesterday. So that is on tap in a bit. After I finish up here, I am going to slap on my....oh yeah!

Until January 11 at Lane Bryant, it is their Semi Annual Bra sale. Buy 2 get 2 free. Chelsea and I went and bought some. Even for Natalie too. So new bras for my birthday too? Cant get better then that!

That is all. Thank you all for your wonderful birthday wishes. I have never gotten that many Happy Birthdays EVER. Over 100. I felt like a real Queen yesterday. And I felt loved by all.
Okay..now my ass needs to get dressed and face the hoardes at Shoprite`s Can Can sale.

My Birthday is tomorrow!

*267*

  I figured I would post today because tomorrow is going to be busy and I will not have the time. Tomorrow I turn 43 years old. ahhhh..bullshit. Oh, it is okay. This change in age does not bother me one bit. When i turned 30, I was a mess. When I turned 40, I was a bit upset but not as bad as when I turned 30. I have a fear of getting older.

Having a birthday exactly 2 weeks to the day after Christmas kind of sucks. My birthday is the 12th day of Christmas, Epiphany, Little Christmas, or Three Kings Day. This is when people usuallly take their Christmas trees down and some cultures celebrate the day the three kings brought their gifts to the Baby Jesus. I get cake! Big bakery style birthday cake. With flowers! Love it!

We do not do a ton for our birthdays anymore cause we are older and know that presents really do not matter as much as being together. I have some errands since it is Friday and Lu has a groomer appointment. We are going out for steak dinner (just Fred and I), and off to Foxwoods for a smidge of gambling and people watching. Gotta love it!

So I am here to say Happy 43rd Birthday to me!

Drudgery

*267*
It has come to my attention that because of their other duties outside of the home, I will be on my own when it comes to all aspects of this house.
That is a way to lose weight, huh?
Laundry is just the tip of the iceberg I guess. Everything that used to get done as a help to me, has not been done in awhile.

Hadn't I noticed?

Well, Yes. Yes I did. But I figured you would get to the dust bunnies and cobwebs when you thought about it.
Guess not now.

I have come full circle, my friends. I am sicker then I have ever been AND I have more things that I have to do. Isn't the economy grand?

Now, he is not the mean bitchy husband that comes home and asks *what have you done all day?* He knows that there will be days when I did nothing but dusted this chair I am sitting in. He is perplexed as to why I have been falling asleep before he gets home and when he is home, I can barely keep my eyes open past 9pm. Unless I took a four hour nap in the afternoon.
But then there are days I cannot take a nap because one adult child needs a ride to and fro.
It is cause of all the fucking work I have to do. Housework is bullshit. And when you have animals and other residents that do not give a fuck about you..it is even worse.
 And you see, I am a bad mother. It is my fault that I did not force them to do chores when they were little. It is my fault that they do not know how to clean now. That is their diatribe. Did I teach them that it is cool to leave empty cans all over the place..every single night? I do not think that was in the Dr. Spock book.

This is me bitching and it is not PMS. This is me coming to the realization that I have to really do everything. He is working two jobs and he feels he shouldn't even have to help with even reaching for stuff. I should figure it out.

So I am a little bitch tired, sore, bitchy and depressed. Wait till the snow comes! That is gonna be my job too.
Yay!

Laundry SUCKS!

*267*
I have been doing laundry this morning. I have a load in the wash, one in the dryer and another on the couch to be folded. This is not good. I do not DO laundry, you see. Now before you blow up my comments about how you have to do laundry and I need to shut my trap, read on.
   Laundry and ironing is one of the only chores that I designated for Fred way back in the olden days. And he has been doing it faithfully with plenty of complaint but I complain too so that is normal. I went down to get the boxes for the ornaments yesterday cause I planned (and accomplished) to put all the Christmas crap away. What do my wandering eyes do appear? A big stinking pile of laundry. BIG! Bigger then I have ever seen before. He has not been really doing the laundry. He has been doing enough to appease me. He has done towels, scraps of underwear, and some clothes. The girls do their own. So what is this mountain! I think it is a combination of getting older and I do not know. Maybe it is his dizziness. Maybe it is his bit of weight gain and no exercise. I told him that he has to go to the gym starting this month. No more excuses. Even if he goes for just a bit at a time.

 So here I am with the WHOLE house to clean. Nobody helps me. They do not even offer to. And when they are asked, it is a big stink about it all. So I am not going down that road right now.

Recently I get a snarky remark from someone that said they clean their house every day and doesnt have to do seasonal cleaning, like I do. Basically telling me that I must be a dirty slob.
No Bitch! I am not a slob. I have multiple auto immune diseases, a back that I do not want to have surgery on again, and now stomach issues. I am flying with one wing basically. So get off your fucking housework high horse and maybe give me some fucking tips. Instead of being a snotty insolent bitch that I know you can be.

Wow! That came out of some place, huh? If your house is filthy and you do not work a job outside of home AND you are able bodied, then I would have something to say to you..unless you had like quads..then that is a different story. But you know someone has issues and you like to point it out? Hmm. Do not cross my ass.

Okay, off to clean. Dammit! Oh, I have heard nothing from the Gastro yet. Hoping soon.

Ah! January!

*267*

  January is my favorite month of the year. I get to celebrate my birthday on the 6th but when I was younger, we celebrated my Dad`s birthday on the 5th. We always had two cakes! There was no sharing. He made sure of it. He was brought up in the Depression and at Christmas time, his Mom would hold back a couple of his gifts so she would give them to him on his birthday. I understand why she did it, but he should have never had known it. So when I came along, he said that we were two different people and even though our birthdays are one after the other, we both deserve to be sung to alone AND have our own cake!  I have made sure that people in my life get a cake if they would not normally get one. Everyone deserves to get sung too and blow out some candles. Period!

   Then we celebrate our wedding anniversary on the 9th. We have been married 19 years this year. We have been in each others face since 1986, which is 26 years. Loving every moment of it. We do not really do anything on our wedding anniversary. No cards. No gifts. We do not even say Happy Anniversary! I lost Fred`s wedding ring and mine does not fit my fat finger anymore. Sometimes I think we should get a tattoo on the tops of our fingers that looks like a wedding ring. I wonder if he would go for that? That could be something we do for our 20th wedding anniversary.
 Then Fred`s birthday is on the 28th...the 29th? the 28th? I do not remember. Natalie and Fred have 28th and 29th as their birthdays and I can never keep them straight. They think I do not love them but it is just my faulty brain. I can remember obscure trivia but not when your birthday is. LOL

On my birthday, Fred and I have cake with the girls (cake lady),  go out to dinner and go to Foxwoods..unless it snows. Then we stay close to home but still go out to eat.  Then on his birthday we have cake (cake lady), I make whatever he wants for dinner, and we exchange small gifts. So all month long we celebrate. It is like January is OUR month. When we met, I was a 17 yr old that was failing all her classes her Junior year of high school. I was dealing with the death of my father and having to live with my Mother (dad was a buffer) and my awful sister and her husband. Fred was a 20 yr old, living in the projects with his large family, having days at the end of the month when there was no food, and working jobs that were not helping him get out of his situation. We were perfect for each other. We both rose the other person up and we are what we are. Chunky older people in love. This year I will be 43 and he will be 46.
Damn. We are old! Like getting close to AARP old. That is not cool. I want to go back when we were young.

I can keep on dreaming, I guess.

I am sad

*267*

First day of the new year sucks royal fucking dirty ass! I found out today that Natalie`s friend Raymond is going to move to Virginia to live with his Mom. Sometime this month. This is the boy that has been spending immense amounts of time in my home for the better of 4 years (or more). I am really sad and I already cried a bit about it. He is like my kid and he is leaving. I know that someday I will see him again. I fear that it will not be the same. What if he changes and does not love us anymore?
I fear for my Natalie. Raymond is her PB to her Jelly. What is she going to do without him? I do not want to even think of what she might do to herself if she falls into a deep depression over this. I am hoping that she has already grown enough that this will not happen.

 On a positive note, I did get 4 of Ruby`s nails cut. That is all she would allow and I put all the Christmas crap away. It is blocking the entrance to the basement. So someone will HAVE to help me carry it all down tomorrow. I carried it all up.
It seems I have been having more and more to do lately. I am not really liking it.
  So that is all....