Yellow leaves make me smile

mine won`t be as drastic or as beautiful

  The sun came out this morning and all the yellows and reds of the leaves were bursting with color! I love this time of year. All the leaves are wet right now so we cannot really do anything with them today.  But is nice to sit out on the bench and watch them fall around me. One of my favorite things to do. Needs a glass of cider with it. I have not been to the cider mill yet this season. I must get over there this week sometime. Maybe have Fred drive over with me one morning before work.
   My hearing problems are driving me INSANE!  I am finally noticing that I am getting over the strep throat. Yay! I do need to take a couple Advil but not on the dot every four hours like before. My throat is sore but minimal so it will probably not hurt at all tomorrow. The problem is my ears. I do not want to say I have ear infections because the antibiotic would have knocked that out. It is probably more fluid. Like I need more. Both ears are blocked and if you are not right next to me...I cannot hear you.
 All I hear is the tinnitus. And that has changed also. Now sometimes I will hear my heartbeat in my ears. Really loudly. I drove the kid to work this morning. The engine of the Jeep was mimicking the heartbeat sound in my hearing. I felt like I was driving a disco. This is called Pulsatile Tinnitus and it is another symptom of that thing I talked about before called Intercranial Hypertension. I am guessing my ass has it and I have to do something about it. I just don't want to think about that now. I truly do not. I am still scared.
I want to cry some days but I am trying to be strong for everyone else. It is truly a bad thing that I am going through. I know it isn't cancer or something horrific like that but it is up there. It is a scary shit.

   This has become one of the saddest blogs on the planet. I know there are a couple of you that are saying it...bitches. I cannot be completely positive right now. Once I know more about what I am facing, then I can get a battle plan going. So if you don't like it, don't read here for awhile. I cannot pretend everything is cool and I will work on dollhouses. That is the furthest thing on my mind. I barely decorated for Halloween and I have bought no candy. That is not ME.

Yesterday I had a bit of energy and cooked my ass off. I made a beef barley soup which was so good, I am going to eat it for dinner tonight. I took Chelsea to the Raj cash and carry yesterday and I bought supplies to make Chicken Tikka Masala with basmati rice. Tasted really really good. So I can do shit. Just not today.
My major problem is I cannot do alot of bending over. So I have all these dead flowers that I want to cut and bag in the front yard. I can work for about 15 minutes or so and then the dripping of the brain fluids starts.  So yeah, not alot of room to do much of the bending down to pick up shit.

Okay, Natalie is dragging me out of the house so I am not a total hermit. We are going to go downtown for a bit. Now I have to get dressed. I had hoped to stay in my PJs.

Have a great Fall Saturday all!