2012! Get the hell outta here!

2012 sucked major balls for me and my family. I am hoping above all hope that Hubs and I can make 2013 much better. I already have an abdominal ultrasound for the new year on the 2nd. I am still in pain on my side. It has never gone away. Now I have nausea to add to the bag of tricks..but we shall ignore that for now.
 New Years` Eve is tonight. I am making a big taco dinner with all the sides to go with. I have champagne chilling in the fridge. I bought a bottle of wine but I think I will leave that out for now. I have to go to the store to pick up a few things and then I am staying in for the rest of the day and night. I want to take all the stuff out of the food pantry and organize it the way I like. Throw stuff away that we do not use. Remember? I am picking one thing at a time to get the house back into so sort of order. As for NY resolutions, the only thing Fred and I talked about was we were going to start walking again. Slow flat one mile route around the neighborhood first to build our stamina. He has been just as lazy as I have been. We figure that by the Spring, we could be back to conquering the big hill like a couple summers ago.

I have some snow pictures. The forecasts say we got 10 inches of the white stuff,

 Front porch. The kids were out during the storm and musted up the nice snow. It was a bitch to clean up cause their footprints got frozen on the wood of the porch. Nat cleaned the whole thing off. Hubs and I did out front for the cars.

Ruby did not know what to make of it. It had only been last year that she saw her very first snow. We didn't have much of it last year so she forgot. She has been whining all day about going outside and then coming in cause her paws are cold.

I need to get moving along here. Gotta pick up the kid and get the store for cleaning supplies.

I hope you all have a wonderful and safe New year`s eve!

My gut sucks

 

I forgot to mention what has been going on. I have been having right side pain. It is a constant. And I noticed that my digestion has slowed down like it did before. Not fun!
  I called my regular Dr who is also my Endo because I have to be careful with my kidneys because I am a diabetic. At first he thought they were kidney stones but then after poking me, he is leaning toward the pain being from my gallbladder. I have not had any awful, oh god help me pain. Just constantly hurts but gets worse if I am doing stuff or sitting too long. It is different from the stomach issues I had before. I am waiting to get a call to set up an ultrasound to check out my gut, again. I have also noticed that my strong script for prilosec is not working as well as it used it. I have some nights when I have acid reflux coming up. I will have to see my gut Dr in the near future too.
 So yeah. My life is just a never ending circle of clusterfucks and oh shits. Thank GOD I have medical insurance. If I didnt, I would probably be dead already.

I was sitting here feeling like crap and I realized I forgot to take my insulin after I ate that bologna sandwich. I checked my sugar first and it is still in the normal range. That tells me that A. my stomach is sluggish and I cannot take shot until food moves into intestine. And B. My feeling like shit is something different. It is not my diabetes.

I wish I could be normal again.

Snow! Snow! Yah! Yah! Yah!

It is gonna snow today and tonight. There were varying reports of how much we were going to get. I think it is going to be just a slushy mess if you ask me, but it snowing really big flakes right now so I could be proven wrong.. It will be staying above freezing until tonight and all day it will waffle between raining and snowing or a mix.

THE NATL WEATHER SVC IN UPTON HAS ISSUED A WINTER STORM
WARNING FOR SNOW.WHICH IS IN EFFECT UNTIL 6 AM EST SUNDAY. THE
WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IS NO LONGER IN EFFECT.

* LOCATIONS.MIDDLESEX & NEW LONDON COUNTIES IN SOUTHERN
CT.

* HAZARD TYPES.SNOW.

* ACCUMULATIONS.SNOW ACCUMULATION OF 4 TO 8 INCHES.

* TEMPS.IN THE UPPER 20S TO AROUND 30.

* VISIBILITIES.ONE QUARTER TO ONE HALF MILE AT TIMES.

* TIMING.THE SNOW WILL DEVELOP THIS AFTERNOON & CONTINUE
THROUGH THIS EVENING.TAPERING OFF OVERNIGHT.

* IMPACTS.MODERATE SNOW WILL MAKE FOR DANGEROUS TRAVEL DURING
THE AFTERNOON & INTO THE NIGHT.

 

See! What the fuck? 1-3 or 4-6? It doesn't matter cause we do not have anyplace to go this weekend. Fred has it off. Chelsea is working right now but she gets off at 4 and hopefully the roads wont be that bad.  I have dogs surrounding me and making barking noises because I am eating bologna sandwich. They want said sandwich and I am refusing their demands. So this is going to be a choppy post...let me eat and come right back............................NomNomNomNom!.........Okay, that`s better.

First real snow of the season and I am in a cooking and cleaning mood. Fred and I put all the canning supplies away and I am thinking today is the day to put all the Christmas crap away. But I have other things in mind. Cleaning the kitchen and baking cookies both days. I have to send a BIG thank you to all the people that helped hubs and I on his unit. Since the Christmas goodies are gone, I was thinking of making like three types of cookies to send off. I have decided on old fashioned peanut butter with the fork prints, chocolate chip with peanuts, and bacon chocolate chip for the third. I found a recipe last night on Nadia G`s FB page. I do not have maple syrup so I will improvise. Blogger is acting really weird today. I think I am going to cut this shit short for today. I will come back tomorrow when I have more ME time to do it.
Hope all is well with you and you are not getting buried in the white stuff.

Countdown to my birthday

I like the brown one for $1.39

*261*
  I am done being a bitter depressed bitch. I spent the day in my room yesterday. Everyone was in a not so great mood. This was the worst Christmas ever in our family. EVER! I want to take the tree down today. That is how bad it was. It is going to get real time winter cold soon in the next few days and we may get some snow on Saturday. Not looking forward to that. But that is okay. I have 2 whole weeks to think about my birthday. hehehe
  On my actual birthday we are staying home but one weekend in January, Fred and I will go out to dinner. Nice big steak dinner. We already have the financing for the dinner set aside. All I need to save for now is some casino money and we are golden. I am glad this year is almost over. It has been so awful. The deaths, the lack of money, the struggles...I am hoping and praying that next year will be more uplifting for us in this household.  For once I want to be the family member that brags ALL over Facebook about every single thing that was bought for the family yesterday. Actually, I do not do that even when we had alot of gifts. It is not fair for those that could not do the same and then they have to look at that. I guess this person has no radar on that concept of life. At least I have love from my husband and happiness. But you cannot wrap those and stuff them under the tree.

  I know there is the never ending saga of my health. The past couple days I have pain in my right flank area. It is not a crick in my side or like a pulled muscle. Feels internal. It hurts when I cough or sneeze and as the day wears on, it hurts when I breath. Fred told me that if it hurt TODAY I had to call the Dr. I think I want to wait a little longer. Probably nothing.
 I say this because I want to clean the house intensely. Ever since the infection has cleared out of my system, I want to undo all the dirtiness that I could not do when I was ill. But when your side hurts, it is kind of hard. I need to go to the grocery store to get some supplies for dinner. I want to do old fashioned french bread pizza for dinner. With cheese and pepperoni and onions. When the Stoffer`s french bread pizzas came out in the 80s, we used to make them homemade at home. I am in the mood. I know Natalie, Raymond, and Chelsea will say gross. I could make pasta too, I guess.

 We shall see. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas day and did not get sick from all the over eating.


  

I knew it.

  I had felt really good about our mutual decisions to NOT give each other gifts this year. Money is just not there for it.  I probably could have squeezed out something from somewhere to make it bright, but it would have been stressful. I have not felt stressed one bit about this holiday at all.  Now that is it is Christmas morning, I am feeling sad and left out. There is no one awake but me at 930am because there is no reason to be up. There is no laughter. No wrapping paper flying. No Ooos and Ahhs. Not a gift except those home made gifts that only I made that are in the back of the tree. No one is interested in those. Nobody else made any gifts. I guess they couldn't be bothered.  I think the part that is bothering me is not the fact that I did not get anything (which sucks majorly) but that I am not seeing the happiness on everyone`s faces from the gifts that I gave them. Why did I bother to hang the fucking tree?
Today could just be another fucking day for all that matters. I know that the girls are going to be sad today just like me. All their friends got gifts and they did not. I know they are adults. I just feel like shit right now. I got one gift this year. On online friend gave me some gaming dollars. And I appreciate that gift a lot. I would never let on that is the only thing I got this year. But I will post it on my blog for everyone to see.
 I am going to send off an email to a friend, read the paper online and then get off this thing. I just cannot read about how so and so got this and so and so got that because it is dark and quiet here on this regular old Tuesday morning.
I am so stupid.

Merry Christmas to You!

 

I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow. I hope you get something special that you have always wanted. I hope that your family is harmonious throughout the entire day. I hope your hearth and home are warm. I hope that you turkey is big and juicy. I hope the kids are happy with every single gift they receive. I hope that you have a white Christmas. I hope that you have love in your heart and someone to share it with.
This is my Christmas gift to you.

Aaaahh-Choo!!!! Merry Christmas Eve

*261* <----not bad.
I am here! I am here!
 Friday I started feeling scratchy and not so fresh. I should have stayed home but I went out to steak dinner with my friend, drank a couple mai tais, had a blast, and then felt like I was swallowing nails by the time I was ready to go to sleep. So I stayed in bed on Saturday and I stayed in bed on Sunday. I am still feeling crappy but better. I need to get up because there is food prep to be done for Christmas. A chill has settled on the area also. I think Winter has finally decided to make an appearance. Sucks! I was enjoying the warmer weather and that less electricity that we were using. I better pull out all my sweaters.
  Since I have not talked in a few days, I will just let this be a big run of subjects and you can read it or shake your head at me and move on. Let see. Remember when I said I wasn't going to buy any gifts for Christmas? It was going to be all about a great dinner and family? Well I did it! Sort of. I did not buy any gifts for us at all. But a friend of ours has small kids and there was not going to be a grand Christmas for the boys. I went out and bought them each a gift and then one big matchbox car thingy for the wall that is for them to share. I did spend but for a good cause. Fred has to work tomorrow which sucks but he has today off. I did not make any plans for Christmas Eve dinner. I have some fish I could fry. I have some shrimp that I can coat. I think we will be good. So between today and tomorrow I have quite a few things for eating. There is a big ham, roasted fingerling potatoes, baked mac and cheese, crockpot baked beans (which I have to do today), collard greens (need to be done today), Italian shrimp salad (today), pickle plate, cheese plate with soupy (type of sausage) and crackers, fruit salad, and a lemon chiffon cake. I that is alot of food but it will last a couple days and there are five of us.
  Fred and I are back on the health train. Remember I said that is is our last ham. We both need to lose weight. I have been slowly whittling it down but I need to really get serious. He keeps telling me how beautiful I am and before it used to bug me because I knew he was wrong but now I like it. I want him to be around longer so that I can hear it more often. Weird. I have labeled myself as ugly my entire life. He never knew that these entire 26 years until I said something. So it has been his mission in life to let me know every single day.  I saw your eyes roll. You can think I am ugly if you want. I really do not care. But the important thing is he loves me enough to change my lifetime of thinking. He is either wrong..I am ugly but he wants me to be happy. Or he is right. Who knows?

 
  It is freaking cold this morning down here by the computer. FUCK ME! I need to find one of my sweaters and stop dressing like it is April. There, that`s better.
 Basically I am going to be the kitchen bitch today. Cooking, cleaning, cooking, cleaning and then my leg will start to hurt.

I have to say that my ear surgery has given me back my want to do things. I have more focus. I am not as scatter brained. I am getting more done during the day and the family is noticing that. I am getting up, doing my morning rituals with the coffee and the dogs. But then I am not planted in front of the computer. I made all of that jam for one. I have been cooking every night practically AND cleaning up after. I am not sapped of energy so quickly. Granted, I will never be able to work again but I have a little bit of my life back after this infection was taken care of.
  As for me and the New year. I do not do resolutions. You know that. I am going to work harder on saving money so that we will not struggle like this year. This year was awful. Truly stressful. I do not want to go through that again. I am not going to get caught with my proverbial pants down. I am going to get locked boxes, save money, and tell the other adults in my life that they need to get a life. I am not financing it anymore.


I think I am done for now. Yup. I have to get off my ass and wash dishes and start cooking. I will probably not be on tomorrow. Have a great day tomorrow!
 

What would YOU do?

Tomorrow is the end of the world. What are your plans for today?

If it were true, I would want to spend my last hours with my family. Up until this point, I would have done every selfish and decadent thing I could afford or get away with for free. So the last day should be a day of rest. We could just hang out, talk, and wait before we needed to take our heavenly cocktails so we would not feel bad about not being invited to the rapture. I would gamble all my money away at the casino. I would eat something I have never eaten before. I would commit a petty crime because I am a chicken shit and that should be something on my bucket list. Nothing harmful. Just swipe a lipstick or something. I would tell all of those that I love that I love them and those that I cannot stand would get an earful. Yup, that sounds like a good way to go. We would all drink the Koolaid and go to sleep together.

Now, for real? I have a shit load of stuff to do. I took off Tuesday because I was tired from all the jam making. I figured I had yesterday to do the bon bons and today to do the popcorn. Oh no no! I got duped. The kid needed to go to Target to get a new pair of shoes for work. They did not have her size but she found a couple dresses and we were in there for over an hour. Grrr! Yesterday was going to be me making chocolates and we were going to have Chinese food for dinner because the kitchen would be occupied.
Guess the fuck what? Not a chocolate was made but we still had the Chinese food.
   I cannot start making it yet anyway. Food processor has to be used to crush the graham crackers and that would not be a nice thing to do at 5am.  Yeah, I am awake before the sun. Someone left the heat on downstairs. It became rather toasty in our room and I cant sleep like that. Anyway. This is the last day of life itself and I am going to spend it roasting nuts and making peanut butter buckeyes.

Our Last Christmas Ham

Fred and I decided that this year will be our last year of me making a ham for the holidays. Now, there may come a time in the future when the girls have families, when I will change that. We think that we need to stay away from ham and bacon. I do not think we are fully ready to give up bacon all together. I will make it something special for breakfasts once in a while. Both of us think turkey bacon is gross and a bad substitute for the real thing. But that is just our opinion.
 I have a nice big smoked ham. I will do the whole she-bang to it. Cloves, brown sugar coating, pineapple slices and chunks and even a stray cherry or two. It will be the best clogged artery you ever did see.

Orange Ginger Marmalade

The recipe I had called for only 6 oranges and they would equal 5 cups of fruit. HA! I followed the recipe as best as I could but there was no way on this Earth that I was going to get five cups of fruit and juice from 6 oranges after taking away the pith and membrane. I do not have a ton of pictures but enough so that you can get the gist of how it was made. I was afraid at first because I had never made a marmalade before. They came out lovely, if I do say so myself.

You want to have all your jars, collars, and lids cleaned and ready. You should also have your water bath canner filled to right amount and have that start boiling. It can take awhile for that to happen as most of you know. Now you can start the recipe.

Orange Ginger Marmalade

Ingredients:

1 4lb bag of oranges so that you get  5 cups of fruit
Juice from one lemon
7 T standard pectin
7 cups of white sugar * have this already in a big bowl so you can dump it all in at once*.
1 T freshly grated ginger

Directions:

You really do not need the peel from a whole bag of oranges. So You are going to want to peel about 6 oranges.  Making sure you have as little of the white pith as possible. The white pith is bitter. Try your hardest to not get any in the fruit collection. Then you are going to slice all that peel into long, very thin, slices. Boil some water in a small pot. Add the orange peel and cook for 10 minutes. Strain and set aside the peel.

You are going to want to do most of this work over a large bowl so that you can catch all the juice. You want the juice, the *meat* of the orange and very little membrane. It was hard for me to not get any membrane at all but I think I did a good job for a first timer. Keep doing this until you have 5 cups of fruit. After I did this, I just added the juice of one lemon to this measuring cup.

This is fresh ginger. We always have a hunk of this in the house. You want to prepare enough ginger so that you can get a tablespoons amount. You just break off a chunk, peel, and then grate it. My house is smelling really good right about now.

In a large heavy bottomed pot, put in your peel, five cups of orange fruit and juice plus that lemon juice, and  7 tablespoons of standard powdered pectin. They sell it in jars now so you can adjust the amount you need.  I do two T of pectin  at a time, mix it in and then add two more. It can clump really easy. If that happens, just grab a whisk and beat the crap out it until it is smooth again. You want your heat to be on high. And you are going to want good shoes, an old shirt, and maybe long sleeves on because you are going to stir the entire time and hot jam will be flying. You do not want the bottom to burn or it will ruin all of your work! When it starts to boil while you are stirring, that is a rolling boil. Dump all of your sugar in at once. Stir! Stir! Stir!

Time to dump the ginger in. Make sure there are no big hunks. You want it to be finely grated so you get pops of ginger when you eat the jam. Ginger is even good for your immune system so this is going to be a good thing for all that spread on their toast.

 By this time, your arm feels like it is going to fall off but trust me! All that stirring is going to be so worth it in the end. This is what it will look like with all that sugar in there. It doubled in amounts. Now when the rolling boil starts again, you want to set a timer for 2 minutes. It is going to quickly hit the hard boil and you cannot stop stirring now. After the time is done, put the pot on a cool burner. Let it sit for 10 minutes. This insures that all the fruit will not float to the top of the jar.

You are going to fill your jars leaving a 1/2 inch of head space at the top. Wipe the tops of jars of any jam. Put on lids and screw on caps (not super tight). Put in boiling water bath canner for 10 minutes. Take the jars out, put them on a dish rag, make sure the jars do not touch, and leave them be. Your house will smell of citrus, and you will hear the lovely pop pop pop that tells you that the jars have sealed.
This recipe makes 9 half pints of lusciousness. Enjoy!

Bon Bons ahoy!

  Sandy Hook Elementary School, K-4 Newtown, CT. It is a very sad and tragic situation. Oh so close to the holidays. All those precious children lost for who knows what reason. Connecticut is a good sized state. Newtown is about an two hour`s drive from where I live. Rural area up in the Northwest corner of the state. Stuff like this shouldn't happen in anyplace but especially places like that. I think if my kids were younger or I had grands, I could connect more to this. I sent my thoughts out on this and I hope that the families will be able to have some peace in their lives and minds one day in the future.

   On that note, I am going to keep busy and keep my mind off of that. I am going to make the bon bons today. I have to make alot of them. A shit load really. Chelsea needs some, Natalie needs some, and Fred informed me that he needs at least 6 bags. I put like 8 in each bag. Fuck!!
  Tomorrow I have to do jam and then I have to do the orange marmalade. Those jams have to be delivered on the 19th. So I have four days to finish the two kinds. I am not going to watch the news at all. I usually do not anyway. I will check the weather but that is as far as it goes. All I have to do now is finish my coffee.

  The couponing has been a slow start but I got another book from the library all about it. It was written in 2012 and it is called The Everything Couponing Book. I am hoping some time this weekend to crack it open. I still have the other book about shopping and saving money. I am more than halfway done with that one. I am learning a lot. I am collecting coupons and I am going to save money.  I made the same mistake I always do this week. I get paid the 2nd Wednesday of every month. Then I go hog wild and buy anything we need. From maxi pads to blocks of cheese. I make sure the stuff I buy is on sale and I am frugal, but I always over spend. Frugal and over spend does not go together but I have made it an art form. I need to learn to stop doing THAT!
 Okay, like I need to go to AC Moore today (ugh...fucking ugh) and buy another Xmas themed paint can to put home made popcorn in. I decided I was going to make a tin for our friend J. Her family has been struggling and there is not much in the way of a Christmas at their house this year. Young kids too. I cannot buy them anything because I just do not have the extra dough right now. I guess I could use some of my jam money and spend $20 to get the boys something. I don't know. See, I am trying to save money but the pull of being good and right always gets me in the end.

That is about all I have to say about anything today. I got Ruby sitting in the chair next to me and Lu is bugging me to pick her up. My cup of coffee is almost down to the dregs.  After I give love to the dogs, I will tackle the kitchen and start the chocolate making. I need to find my container of pink Himalayan salt. It is the most important part of the candy.
Hope you have a wonderful Saturday and your heart is not too heavy today.

Death of a cactus and other Thursday stuff

  Fred and I went out this morning to do a couple errands and bring the kid to school. Cold as a witches tit out there, I tell ya. I get home and we are talking and I see dirt in the corner. Fucking animals!!
   It looks like it was a tag team effort. One of the cats was trying to jump up on shelf, didn't make it and in the process of coming down, knocked over my favorite cactus. Then there were chew marks on the end of each spire. I am thinking Ruby was enjoying it. The pot was broken in half and dirt was everywhere. We just threw it away. Now, it started off as one of those $1.99 teeny tiny Walmart cacti but it grew really nice and big over the years. My favorite out of the bunch. Pisses me right the fuck off actually but there isn't anything I can do. I will try to find another one at Walmart in the Spring and start all over.

 I was lucky to find the chocolate bark that I use to make the bon bons. I have to search through my stash to find the pink salt and I have to freeze the strawberries this morning. I have to make bon bons my friends. My list is getting longer. Bon Bons, Orange/Ginger marmalade, Strawberry jam, sugar scrubs, and two kinds of gourmet popcorn. All this and it is the 13 of December. I want to mail out a small jar of strawberry jalapeno and some bon bons to a friend in Maine. It wont get there by Christmas but he will still appreciate it.  Today I am going to clean house, make sauce for pasta and meatball, and decide which fucking thing I am going to make today. I think it will be bon bons. The kid has a friend that LURVS them and she is going to India over the Christmas holiday to visit family. I think she wants to give them to her before she leaves.  I found out that blood oranges do not come into the stores until January or February so I will have to wait to give that a try then. I may make a bunch and store it for next Christmas.
 Plus I am dealing with going through the two store circular`s for grocery shopping. I think I have added too much extras. I just remembered that I have to go to my ENT tomorrow at 3:15pm. Not looking forward to the going home part. I-95 out of New Haven on a Friday around 5pm is a fucking nightmare of epic proportions. I think I will make Fred drive it home so I do not have a conniption.

 This is my Thursday. Boring old Heidi doing boring old things and talking about it. Hope you all have a more pleasant today!

20 year Wedding anniversary

  Fred and I realized that January 9, 2013 will be our 20th wedding anniversary. This year will also mark 27 years of being in each other`s presence. We usually do not do anything for our anniversary.  Since our anniversary and both of our birthdays fall in January, we just go out one night for a really nice cloth napkin dinner.  But this is 20 years of wedded bliss. I think it deserves a bit more than that. I just do not know what. We are not the gifting type either. So looking up what a 20 yr gift is will not sway either one of us to purchase.
 I am really going to have to think about this because it is important. Even though we both know we love each other to bits, I have to show it. If you want to send me any ideas, I would really appreciate it.

Ear Progress

 My appointment with my ENT is on Friday afternoon. I wanted to give you an update on how I felt. There are times when the incision still hurts. The whole thing will be sore. Fred will look at it and he says it is fine. I am past the point of any infection. It was sewn in a folded manner or so it feels so it is a very noticeable scar. I guess as time goes on, you wont see it when I pull my hair back. But now you can. The outside of my ear is still numb. I am wondering if that is it. Is this how it will always feel? I am not sneezing or coughing up anymore yucky debris either. All of that is gone. As for the leaking out of my nose. It is still doing it but not as much as before. I will let him know. It is probably nothing. I do not feel run down like I used to.  If infection can make you not want to do anything, then I bet that was a small part of my problem. I am still not a well chica by any means but I am able to do more now. We do not even know how old the infection was. Crazy huh?

  Look what I saw this morning when I was out warming up the Jeep. It was kind of raining kind of snowing but it was too warm for it. And the sun was out so I caught myself a pretty rainbow. It didn't last long. Maybe five minutes. Made me smile this morning. I wanted to chase after it and get some of that gold everyone keeps talking about.

  It is in the upper 40s today. Sun is supposed to stay out. No heat has been turned on for the past couple days. Loving it.
I made the strawberry jalapeno jam yesterday. I wanted to let you know that if you wanted to make it, you use a standard strawberry jam recipe but add in 7 jalapenos minced in food processor. Now, I used the whole of all seven. Seeds and all. You could do it that way or you could have a couple with seeds and clean the rest. It is up to you how hot you want to make it. My friends that love hot said it was really good jam. I am sorry to say that I fucked up the regular strawberry jam though. Too much sugar in a batch of not enough fruit. Plus I was tired and my back was hurting. Not paying attention.  I did not toss it. I canned it for OUR consumption. I will make more this week. I get paid tomorrow so I can replenish the strawberry, sugar and pectin. I have to make a decision on the marmalade anyway. I have to work on the kid`s gifts, I need to buy gift bags, and I have to deliver the jam after I am done with it. I am told that I have to save the money from this time around. I balked at it for a bit but I understand. I need to save money. My plan is to save at least $100 a week. I could save more but I am starting there.
I think my mind is all over the place today because Xmas is not very far away and no body else has made any gifts. I feel that if I am the only one that made an effort, what was the point? I had said in the beginning that i did not want to do gift exchange anymore. One kid suggested we make home made gifts. I ran with that. I see that I am the only one that is doing it. No body has brought any supplies in the house or asked me for cash to buy supplies. I will do what I planned to do but I feel that I will be the ONLY one with not a present under the tree. Kind of sad, huh? As much as I do for this family, you couldn't bother to make me anything. If I get some hurried up card stock scribbled card, I think that would be worse than nothing. I will try really hard to be positive though. Very very positive!
  I hope you have got all your Christmas gifts under the tree. If not, that is okay. Not many people can celebrate like they used to. This is the first year that I have not bought one gift. I just cannot do it. Well, I could but then which bill wouldn't get paid?
I am going to wrap this up for today. I have both sinks full of jam covered pots and utensils. I told you my back hurt! :)
Now I pay the price. This will be tons of fun.

Find a penny? Pick it up and Save that biotch!

   I noticed something about myself yesterday. I have been trying to grasp our budget and shake the shit out if it, and I am actually thinking differently about money for once in my life. Took me long enough!
   Back when I was a sophomore in high school, one of my first jobs was working as a coin machine operator in the back vault of a local bank. My job was to roll change into the paper rolls and to bag up coin into certain denominations and dollar values for the bank to send off. Money would come in from all the different area stores. My job was to take all these stray bags of coin and fill up one bag of quarters, one bag of dimes, etc. I do not remember the dollar amount that the machine filled the bags. Let me tell you what. I acquired arm muscles from that job. I had Popeye calves from all the walking that I had to do and now I was getting the arms to match.  The bags were heavy as fuck and I was getting definition in my arms and stomach! I could pick up Fred like he was a feather. I worked that job for about a year. Bank managers were a dime a dozen. I left because the last one wanted to lock me up inside the vault until it was time to leave. If I had to go to the bathroom, someone had to get her to come and let me out. I was doing my job fine. I was cleaning out the vault every night but the bitch did not want me talking with the tellers. I was a different class of person in the bank, I guess. The reason I am telling  you all this is because money just became part of a job. I did not look at all that money and think I want it, I can buy shit! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!. I looked at it as another dirty day at the bank. Money is filthy.
   Now my homes have never been super duper clean. When I was younger and had more energy, they looked nice and they were tidy. The living room, dining area, kitchen and bathroom were always clean enough just in case company came over. Bedrooms were always a wreck! Fred had and still has a problem with dropping his change everywhere out of his pockets. I would sure as shit pick up the quarters but the rest I could care less about. Up until recently, if I was sweeping and a couple dimes or nickels ended up in the dustpan, they would get thrown out with the rest of the dirt. Now that I type it out, I realize how much money I probably tossed over the past 26 years. Don't think I am a dummy. If there was a ton of change on the floor, I would pick it up. But I was not going to heave my fat ass over for every single solitary Lincoln.
   Yesterday I got a cleaning streak in me and ran with it. I straightened up the living room and dining room and vacuumed. But something changed. I was picking up every single coin I found and putting it in my pocket. Then they went straight into my jar here in the dining room. I did not throw away that one dime with the rest of the dust. I picked it up. Same with the pennies. I have a new love of money that makes me realize something. My Dad would get a nickle. He would see a double feature movie plus a newsreel, get candy, soda, and popcorn and still have a couple pennies left over. He lived thru the Great Depression and I am sort of too. I will take those pennies, nickles, and dimes to the bank. I will run them through the coin counter, and I will deposit that money or use it if I need it.

Don't just pick up all the pennies that are just heads up for luck. Pick them all up and save them for a rainy day. See how much money you can save if you actually turned in all the coins you have accumulated.
We have a large jar that we have never filled. We have gotten halfway and that was over $50 in coin when it was all said and done. If your bank does not have coin counting, you can always use a Coinstar machine at your local Walmart or grocery store. They do charge you pennies on the dollar but you still get your change converted to cash. They also have it now where you can convert your coins into iTunes money and different gift cards. You can also do it the old fashioned way. You buy paper rolls at places like Walmart. You roll the coins yourself. Put your name on the outside of each one, and then you turn them in to be deposited into your bank. Do not cheat! Make sure you have the right amount of money in each. The tellers will be using those coins to count out cash and if it is wrong, you will screw up their count at the end of the night. Here is a webpage that shows you the amounts for each coin in a roll.
 I hope I gave you a new perspective on all that change you got floating around in your house and car.

It is a foggy warm Monday here in my neck of the woods. I will be doing the strawberry jam today. I finished the lavender yesterday. Very damp day! Yuck!
Hope you are having a good case of the Mondays.

Took me awhile

No presents under there yet but soon

The tree is finally decorated. Natalie had put the majority of the ornaments on the tree but she forgot to put the beaded garland on. Too late now. I aint taking everything down to do that. The boxes of glass ornaments sat there for a week. Yesterday I finally gave in and put them on the tree. One year I was yard saling and this lady had a couple boxes full of old glass ornaments. Not just balls but Santas, a taxicab, and acorns. So many designs. She was getting divorced and the ornaments came from HIS Mother. Now she could have just thrown them away or broken them but she sold them. And now we enjoy them every year. I think we have had them for over 5 years now.  Milo has started climbing the tree again this year. He is our marmalade. He is going to realize that one day he will be too fat to do that. Oliver is trying to be oh so slick and steal a piece of bacon off my plate as I type this. Maybe I should stop now and pay attention to my brunch.

Today is definitely jam day. I totally misplaced the canner rack in the house. Fred and I could NOT find it anywhere and I used it like last month. I called around and found one a few towns over. It was a half hour drive both ways for Natalie and I. But I have the piece that is critical so that your jars don't crack in the canner from the heat. The strawberries are defrosting nicely. I think today will be the lavender jelly. Kitchen is clean. I just need to change my clothes, marinate the chicken for dinner and get moving.
 The strawberry jam and strawberry jalapeno will have to be done tomorrow because I am defrosting the shit now.
 I have to make 24 half pints for other people. Whatever is leftover out of the batches, is mine to can for us and I have a couple friends that would like some also. I have to make another batch of blood orange marmalade before the 19th but if they do not come out in the stores, I will just make orange ginger flavored. That is another 8 half pints of those for other people. I am getting compensated for my work. The money will help pay for Christmas dinner! This is my Sunday.
 I changed dinner plans last night and we had hot dogs on buns instead. Tonight will be roasted chicken breasts (on the bone) with mashed taters and string beans. It has been unseasonably warm here in my part of New England. No snow accumulations at all. I let the dogs out and it felt like early Spring. You know like late March/Early April where you still have to wear a sweater but it feels green outside. It is weird to feel that way in early December.
  Oh! I changed my post op appointment this week. I will be going on Friday instead of Tuesday. It was more economical for us to do that. It costs $25 in gas just for the trip up and back and I just wont have that on Tuesday. Plus paying the co-pay for the appointment.
Fred just came in with my 4 Sunday papers. There are two sets of coupons in each one. Two of the papers were given an extra sleeve of coupon. I have a shitload now but I know that is just a drop in the bucket. I have two objectives this week. I need to make a list of all the meals for dinner that I know how to cook and the family likes. Like a master list. I have to figure out if the printer is truly dead or did I flip a switch I cannot find (you know those printer switches that locks it when you are moving it), and I need to buy a binder and those plastic baseball card inserts. I have decided that I am not going to sort by area of the store but alphabetically. If I am looking for a coupon for Tide, I will go to the T section. Much easier for my brain.  I am also going to be meeting my niece and her family for dinner on Friday after my appointment. She is one year younger than me. The last time we saw each other was before I had Natalie. Over 20 years. I am not good with trying new things but after having been sick all year and surgeries..I think it is time for me to change. Fred, Natalie and I are going to her house for dinner. Chelsea has to work unfortunately. Hoping we have a nice time.

I also wanted to say that I have been back to weighing myself recently and it has steadily been 262. Booyah!
I know. That is a long way from being a super model of any caliber and I am not looking for that anyway. But very close to 250. I think I am going to go for a push to get to it for the new year. Once I am 250, I can fight that other 50 this year. I may be right were I am at right now in Dec 2013 OR I could surpass my goal. I just wanna be 210. That is good for me. That is all I ever wanted to be. I just need to get a good pair of walking shoes so I do not fuck up my feet again. I think that is what I am afraid of.

I have wasted a chunk of YOUR Sunday blah blah blahing along about me and what is going on. Hope you are having a great YOU today. Have a good one and enjoy the last of the weekend.
That is about it for my plans for today and the next coming days.

Happy Hanukkah to you!

I just wanted to say hey to all my friends that are celebrating tonight. I love latkes. I wish I had a plate right now with some caviar and a dollop of sour cream. Mmmm!
I hope you get all that you wished for.

I saved money!!!!

I actually saved money yesterday when I went grocery shopping. I have been reading this book, Cut Your Grocery Bill in Half with America`s Cheapest Family.  I have not gotten super far into it yet but enough to know that they are teaching how to shop once a month and cook some of your meals for that month at one time to freeze or OAMC (once a month cooking). I had no idea that is what this was about. They do not say you shouldn't use coupons but they say you do not have to KILL yourself being a Coupon Queen. It starts you off easy. Try to shop just for this week only. You look at all the sales flyers, see what you already have in the house, and plan out your meals for the week. I did that.  If you have coupons to correspond with the sales, great! I am just a beginner in the coupon thing so I only had like four coupons to use total. I have to see why my printer is not working and either fix it or get a new one. Printing coupons online is the way to go too.
 I wrote out my lists of the two stores. We did get a couple things not on either list. Hamburger became an unadvertised sale at Stop and Shop. I needed it but had not added it to the lists. Sometimes if something good pops up, you have to grab it.
 I saved $40 at Stop and Shop and I saved $30 at Shoprite. I also bought B1G1 cereals at Rite Aid. I spent $125 (which I usually spend) and I came home with more than double the groceries! I had chicken breasts, big family pack of hamburger, two things of bacon, Italian sausage for my Tuscan soup, hot dogs, and a big family pack of pork chops that was used last night for dinner.
 Plus all the stuff I needed for this weeks meals. Fred and I can eat leftovers.

So I saved money and it was a rush and I will do it again. I have a crisis right now. We cannot find the metal rack that goes inside the canner so that I can make jam today. I could drive 20 minutes away and spend $6 for a new one but part of me doesnt want to spend the money until Friday.

20 days and counting

I love Mary Engelbreit!

   Xmas is coming fast and furious! I have not been able to find empty tins that are suitable to putting popcorn in. I may have to take a trip to the Christmas Tree shop to see if they have anything. I also have to get working on the jam for my groomer. Ugh!
  The chocolate bark that I buy at Walmart to make my bon bons..is all gone! There was an empty space where the bark should be. I am stressing. I am going to try another Walmart 20 minutes away to see if they have any. This is what I get for being lazy and having surgery. I got lazy because I just did not give a fuck. Usually I would have already had the bark in the cabinet a while ago and I would be all set. Now I am fucked if I cannot find it. I could use another kind of chocolate but that is not the point! That is the kind I have been using for over 10 years.

  I did luck out on one thing though. I found this jar at the $1 store. I bought 4 at the time but I want to go back and buy a couple more. I am going to put the sugar scrubs in them. It is heavy too. Not some cheap ass glass jar and it has a rubber gasket. Perfect! There is one for Fred, each girl, and Rainbow. I just need to make some labels for them. I will get all that stuff and hopefully some larger sized tins for the popcorn soon. I am hoping the Christmas Tree Shop to the rescue. WooHoo!! I just looked at the flyer and they do have all shapes of Holiday tins! Yes! I will go there today and get the tags I need also.

This is the recipe that I am going to use for the sugar scrub:

What you'll need for the sugar scrub:

- mixing bowl and spoon

- 3 cups white sugar

- 1 cup + 2 Tbsp. good quality oil (I used olive oil, but you can use any nice, non-smelly oil)

- 10 drops of yummy-scented essential oil per jar

Combine your sugar and oil, mix it up well, and divide into separate bowls (if you're planning to flavor them separately). Add your essential oil, stir, and divide among your jars.

I may need more than 3 cups of sugar. I think each jar will take about 2 cups total but I will have to measure that out. I am glad I found the jars. I will pick up a couple more and I want to make a scrub for a friend of mine for Christmas and for another friend that does not have alot but does not like to take. She is modest so if I give her a home made gift, she will accept it.

 On a side note...I have NOT opened the giant box of chocolate. I hope you are proud. :)

O! Xmas Tree! O! Xmas Tree

Something`s missing

  I have the box out in the living room with the lighted Xmas tree inside of it. I just haven't gotten to going over there to put it together. It is a big, bulky, awkward bastard. At least it isnt like the fake tree before. That one had each individual branch that you had to fan out and install on the base of the tree. There were like six different sizes of branch (i think six of each) and it was a bitch to put up and a bitch to put away. I should be thankful I do not have that one to decorate.
  So there is that empty space in front of the window. Waiting. I wish one of the kids took the initiative to do it. It is like passing the torch. You teach them the decorating tricks and when they are able, they run with it. That is what I did with my Mom`s tree when I got older. She didnt have to do it anymore.  Nope. Not in my house. Shit is still laying around waiting for me to put it up and throw it at the tree. It is funny that the shortest person in the house does the tree. I have a step stool that I use to get ornaments up on the top. I noticed that they opened the box of candy canes already. Shits didnt even make it on the tree before getting eaten. :) I half promise, sort of that I will put up the Xmas tree today.
 

That is a big assed box of candy! I had to buy it. Natalie co-signed on the purchase. It is originally $30 but we bought it for $15. It is in the closet and will be opened for Christmas week. 2012 is the 100 year anniversary of Whitman`s Sampler and they made this 2lb box to commemorate. Fred laughed at me because we saw them the week before and he just KNEW that I could not resist to buy it. I had too! Whitman`s sampler is my go to candy since I was a wee child. I know I am a diabetic and am not supposed to eat this shit. I know! I know there are better chocolates out there in the world. I know! I also know that Whitman`s has not been the same since Russel Stover bought them out. They changed the sampler formula.
Bitch cant resist a big assed box of chocolates! There are four other people in this house that will help me polish it off. I will count my carbs and inject accordingly. I will not harm myself.
TWO FUCKING POUNDS!!!

Good to know

   It is good to know that something that was given from the kindness of my heart was turned around and sold for a profit. You just made it so that I will think twice before helping or giving to anyone again. I know that the item was yours to do with as you wanted. But I feel you sold it out of genuine spite. Don't worry! This is all the energy and blogging I am going to spend on you. I just wanted to let you  know that I would never do that to you and the gifts you gave to me. I am not made like that. I appreciate things even if they are a wee bit tainted.
My question is this. Why did you do it to the other person too? She never did a damn thing but be NICE to you! For THAT you should be completely ashamed.

Couponing: A journey into food savings

Fred brought home 4 Sunday newspapers this morning for me. I have been reading up on how to save money with coupons. One of the rules is to get one Sunday paper (or whatever paper has the coupons) for each member of the family. Sunday is also when they have the pharmacy flyers with their coupons. I have already saved the grocery store flyers for next week.
 Next I have to shop for a zippered school binder and baseball card sleeves. There is a website called Smart Spending Resources that sells the inserts and organized inserts so that I can separate coupons but sections of the store. I may buy one package for the inserts and then buy extra sleeves at Target or Walmart. You basically put one coupon in each sleeve. If you have 6 of a coupon for Charmin, you put that in a sleeve. You do not put ALL toilet paper coupons in that sleeve, just that one particular coupon. That is why you see couponers with such big books. You save your coupons until they go on sale at each grocery store that you use. Then you buy as many as you are allowed and save save save.
 I was supposed to get some help with this from a coupon expert but I have not heard anything back from her, so I am going to try to read up on it and do it on my own. I will let you know how it goes. But this is my first Sunday of collecting more than one newspaper. Stealing is a no no. You spend the money on the papers cause you will be saving in the long run.
If I can shave my grocery bill every month in half, that would be wonderful. I will continue to say that I will not become one of those weirdos that buys like 50 of one item cause it is free. I have more class then that. Buying only what we need is good. If I can get 4 tubes of toothpaste for free, that will last us the year. I do not need to be greedy and I do not want the cashiers to be afraid of me. I have two books waiting for me at the library about couponing that were published very recently. I hope the help.
  I slept in this morning till noon. It is warmer than usual today and I snuggled in. It felt good and not so good. I had things I wanted to do this morning but those hours are gone now. It is going to get dark in two hours. Isnt that some bullshit? I hate winter time.
So I will make the jam tomorrow. I will have all day to do it. I am still in my jammies for cripes t sake!  Fred is making chili for dinner. I want baked potatoes. I need to wash dishes. And we have a Xmas tree to put up. It is sitting on the floor waiting to be put together and decorated. Maybe we can do that today. Do the tree. Jam tomorrow.

 This post is going nowhere fast. This is what happens when you sleep too long. Your brain gets a tad extra fluffy. I am gonna go now and do all those things up top that I said I was gonna do or I could just go back to bed and watch tv. :)

First day of the end of the world

My Mom had a fur like that and she wore her hair like that.

Ahh! December 1st. The countdown for Xmas, the end of the year, and the end of the world. I need to leave here soon because I have to get Lu at the groomer. She is getting her last cut of 2012 with a dyed pink tail. So chic. I will be back before you know it............................................................. 12:12pm.
 Lu looks good and I brought the groomer a couple jars of my jam for Christmas. In the winter, Lu gets a summer cut on her face/head and a winter cut on her body. More hair to keep her warm, less hair so she can see longer. She got her tail dyed pink and it is cute as hell. No fleas.  Her itching is because of the weather and the pollen. As cold as it is today (38 deg F now) it is going to be in the 50s tomorrow and the rest of the week! Saves me some money, honey!

  Today I am going to make jam. After I am done here, I am going to hull 5 packages of strawberries. I want to put them in the freezer for a bit. They work better for me if I freeze them first. I am going to make strawberry, strawberry jalapeno, and lavender. A friend has a table at a winter farmer`s market in the next state over. He has room on his table and he wants to see if he can sell some of my jam. It is a good time to sell it because it is the Xmas season. People want to give it as gifts. I need to make some anyway. We have one jar of regular strawberry left in the household stash. I should just make a ton of this shit to always have on hand anyway.
 That will be my day. Making jam and we are going to have fried fish, baked mac and cheese, and maybe some string beans for dinner. Fred goes back to work on Monday. I loved having him around and I will miss him but it is time for his ass to go. LOL

 Boring cold day. Hopefully I wont burn my hand jamming. I hope you have a good Saturday!

Homemade gift ideas for 2012

We have one of those typewriters but it is powder blue. It still works but alas it  needs a new ribbon. I must remember to order it online sometime soon. Chelsea has her new/vintage manual typewriter from the 1940s. She is satisfied for now.

   I figured out what Fred and I (really just me) are going to make for our gifts for Xmas. I was racking my brain cause I could not think of anything right off the bat except shit that took alot of time. I found a couple good websites that gave me some great ideas. I figured I would share them with you if you wanted to make a gift or two for friends and family. I looked at so many sites for ideas and the one site that gave me what I was looking for was Crunchy Betty. There are gift ideas for kids, the man in your life and all your girls. After looking and deciding, Fred and I decided that making a sugar scrub for the girls and a salt scrub for the guys was a good one. So I will make the scrubs. I have a few essential oils here already that we have collected over the past year or so. Lavender, Lemon, Lemon Verbena, Orange, Peppermint, and Vanilla. I am hoping to buy a Sandalwood when I go to the co-op this week. That is a nice guy smell. Fred wants Lemon. I turned him on to the smell from all the Lemon lotions I have.  There is also a recipe for making bath salts. I might do both for the girls. So the can soak and scrub in the same smell. I need to buy jars and supplies.
   Another place that I found some good gift ideas was at Martha Stewart. There are a bunch of ideas for men. You just fly thru the pictures and you can click on what you would like to do. We chose the popcorn tins. One is Macadamia butter crunch and the other is Chocolate Almond. We are making that for everybody. Everyone loves popcorn and nuts. Tins can be bought at the $1 store and I just need some thick card stock to separate the popcorns in the tin. Cool idea huh? The popcorn recipe is not hard at all.

 The last gift I found just recently. Someone posted this idea on Facebook, I followed the link and decided that was for me. Paper stars that you can hang. They are supposed to be just for Xmas but I think they will like them all year long in their rooms. The site is called annekata.com. All you need is some origami paper, glue, pencil, scissors, and some string for hanging. That is it!  I was thinking of sharing this with Natalie so she has a second gift to give everyone. I want yellow ones for the upstairs bathroom.

  The snow was minimal yesterday. It is too warm here on the shoreline right now so we got another dusting on the cars and on the grass. It is not as cold as it was yesterday, thank goodness. I hated it yesterday! Today I am hoping I win the Powerball ($500 million right now) or even a small portion would be nice. I am going to do laundry. And I am going to do one of these paper stars to show Natalie. See what she thinks.
Dinner will probably be the Tombstone pizzas I got on sale last week. I dont usually buy them that often but when they sell for only $2 a piece, you gotta get it. I will put them on my pizza stone. It will be like eating a real pizza!

Happy Hump Day!

Brother, can you spare some home heating oil?

   It was a bit nippy downstairs this morning. The heat was off and so were the heaters. It was below 60 degrees. I plan on having oil delivered on Friday or Saturday. Then my plan is to use the heaters during the day with the furnace on low, turn the heaters off at bedtime, and turn the furnace up to lie 62. Hopefully I can afford more than 50 gallons. That is how I had to do it last year. 50 gallons at a pop because oil was like $4 a gallon. I remember when the kids were small and oil was 75cents a gallon. We always had automatic delivery. We never struggled to pay the bill. We would spend about $1000 for the entire year. That included the fill up in the Spring. Those days are gone.
   I have said before that if we had the hook ups for gas heat, we would do it. But there is no connection to this house or any other on this side of the street. Not only would we have to buy a new furnace but pay to have the road ripped up, our front yard ripped up, and drilling into the house itself. It is too much to think about. I am thinking about next year getting a wood stove for in here in the dining room. I am serious about it too. Now burning wood bothers me so I need to research to find out if it will come into the house. I KNOW that sounds stupid! But meaning, the smoke goes out the smoke stack. If I do not have constant direct contact with the smoke, I could handle it. We shall see.

  We are supposed to get some snow this morning. All I see outside is wet. I think it has been said that it is too warm on the shoreline and it would quickly go to rain. It needs to because I have an errand this morning that I need to attend to. Supposedly less than an inch here. That is good. I am not in the mood.
 Going to think of something to bake today so I have an excuse to turn the oven on and utilize the heat.
I am not joking when I talk about this stuff. Home heating oil is expensive. Unless you got lots of money, you are struggling with it like we are. Heat is a luxury, my friends.
But I will freshen the tank with some and I can have it on a low simmer. That will satisfy the children.

How do I feel?

I am doing much better. There is still some pain on that side of my head. Sometimes it hurts inside my ear but it goes away. I have itching on the skin where the mastoid is located. Still have a cough but it is good. Not like before. There isnt any more leaking from my ear or my incision. And the incision is scabbed over and doing well. I couldnt have asked for a better result so far.
  I have not said anything to anyone but I had an incident yesterday that made me pause. I was cooking Thanksgiving dinner with Natalie and Fred. I was washing dishes and I noticed the drip coming out of my nose again. The water drip drip drip. It lasts for a couple minutes and went away. I will make sure to tell the Dr if it happens more frequently. It could be just part of the healing process. That is what I am going to say in my head. :)

  Thankfully I did not have to have the worse surgery option. I think I would be in fucking trouble if I had that surgery. I would still be in bed. I would still be in pain. I would not be able to drive till the end of December. Yeah, I am good with what I have had. Let us hope that I do not have to have this surgery again.

Christmas season 2012

I do not have the money or the want to go shopping today. I never liked the Black Friday thing. I went out one year with my neighbor. I hated every minute of it. We stood in line for hours for some thing she had to buy. At this moment, I cannot recall what it was. I just know that I realized that Black Friday was not for me.  I would rather sit here in my pjs with my coffee and eating a piece of berry pie. That is a post Turkey day breakfast of champions.
  I am not feeling the whole *decorate for Xmas* vibe today. I think I will put it off to the point that the girls will mention it and I will let them do it. I am still not all together with the healing still. Plus I think I am probably a little depressed. We are not buying gifts this year. There are a couple reasons why. The main reason is money. With the price of fuel and who knows what is gonna happen with the taxes, I just am not comfortable spending any money on extras. Then I am tired of the pressure of spending. You better get this! You better get that! You don't love your family if you don't! Up until today I have felt good about our decision. I am waffling today but I will treat it like any addiction and just say no!
 Chelsea was going to go to her friend`s family`s house for Xmas this year. I think because we were not giving gifts. Then I think she decided she didn't want to do that either. So she asked us all if we would be willing to make home made gifts for each other. I thought that was an excellent idea. I have NO idea what Fred is going to make. He is not crafty. I have no idea what I am going to make but I need to get moving on it because Xmas will be coming on quick! When I think of something, I will let you know.

  I had a long talk with Chelsea that involved tears on both our parts. I finally told her that Fred and I cannot sustain the household by ourselves. It has become difficult. She actually understood. She said that it is not fair that two people should be supporting five adults total (she is including Rainbow in that). I asked her why she never came to me and said this before. Why didn't she offer to pay rent sooner? She said some stuff but i think it comes down to the fact that she didn't want to spend her money. I really cried over what we were talking about. I have been full of stress all year long. Every month was the same as the last. Shoulders up to my ears because of bills and money.  She had a long talk with Natalie. She is going to get her to work either at her non profit or at a place that hires youth that her friend is a part of. Natalie needs to make her own money for her own shit and maybe fork over a $50 once a month to help with food.
 Chelsea wants to look over our budget with a pair of fresh eyes. I told her that I know there is plenty of money for all the bills and the food and to save. The major problem is I keep getting nickled and dimed. No one forks over any money for anything so a pizza night has become a luxury. That shouldn't be that way.  I think if she can figure it out that they can help us while they live here, we can all live comfortably until they both move on. If it were just Fred and I, it would not be an issue. We could afford to live more than comfortable. We would have extra to fix up the house. But when you have adults with no income asking you to pay for the contact lenses. Or another that does not give any money and they want you to spend $50 at the natural food co-op, you can see why I am poor every month. Right now, I have $25. That will put gas in the Jeep. I paid two bills and bought groceries so I am tapped out.
 The best gift I could get this year, is to be able to relax about the bills and get help with paying them.
I pulled out my Tightwad Gazette books and started reading again last night. I had put them down before because I was sick. Reading was hard with this infection in my head. Messed with my eyes. Now I can read again and I am reintroducing myself to it. I have a few ideas on what I am going to do to change that I will talk about at another time. Bulk food shopping is one of them.
  They are not gonna want any baked goods or food. That is not a real gift because I do that anyway. What the hell can I make???
 Soap. Candles. key chain. what??
  It is too late for me to start making things like quilts and such. I do not have enough time to make 4 of them. I will rack my brain over it today.

Stay safe if you are out there shopping with the lunatics!

Happy Turkey Day!

 Thanksgiving!

Eat till you get sick. Take a nap. Eat till you get sick. Lather, rinse, repeat. I am sitting here taking a break from cooking. I have Classic Rock playing on Pandora and I am just thinking about the past year.  2012 has been so shitty. Really. Deaths, two surgeries, serious lack of money, finding out family has hated me for the past 26 years, and just all the little things. I have been positive but also drag around the negative. I have learned that I can only rely on my small family that I have right here. It makes me sad at that fact. That a door has closed.

I am going to think of things that I am thankful for.

I am thankful:

Fleetwood Mac is on Pandora!
I am healing from my mastoidectomy.
I have the love of my husband.
I have the love of my children.
We have a roof over our heads.
For all of my friends that have shown me more love than any others. I am grateful for that.
 

 Apple pie is cooking in the oven. I have to make the veggie platter, deviled eggs, and string bean casserole. I have potatoes to peel and the chickens to season. Fred is not feeling well today. He still has the cold and is up in bed. So I am gonna push through and cook the dinner. Where are the girls? I am glad you asked. They are still sleeping! Isn't that just wonderful?

I feel that I am being a bit negative today. Let me explain what has gone on. Our neighbor died yesterday from liver cancer. She found out she had it two weeks ago. I found out my other neighbor is leaving her fiance and moving away. I realized that we are the only family members that were not invited and probably not wanted at the family Thanksgiving dinner this year. I lost another person on my blog. I had a tear filled heart to heart talk with Chelsea yesterday. And Rainbow is most definitely moving back to Virginia.  I am just a smidge pissy. Oh, and for the person that left my blog. I was only being nosy last night because I heard about all the hoopla. I wanted to see what the hell everyone was talking about. So don't get your feathers all ruffled. That will be the last time I go reading there.

  Not depressed here, just in a bad mood. I am guessing some good food, good movies, and laughs with the family later will make that all go away.

I hope you are having a great day with your family and friends. My wish for you is tender turkey breast, lots of laughter, and tons of love from your loved ones.

Three Years

Dude! Your gonna get em wet!

Three years this past Saturday. I was too wrapped up in my healing to realize that the time had come and gone. As much as I loved those minty bastards, I am glad that I shook that monkey from the tree.

Happy non smoking Anniversary to Me!

Pie making day

Yum! That looks appetizing! NOT

 I am feeling well enough today to get some Thanksgiving kitchen drudgery out of the way. I kid. I like prepping and cooking especially for the holidays. We aren't having a turkey but we are still going to have a feast of food.
 I have given up some of the things that were served on my Mom`s turkey day table because nobody else was eating them. We always had a pickle plate with pickles and olives. Dates and figs. Bowls of nuts to crack. I just don't do those things anymore because no one eats them.
  Today I finally stamped down in my head what we are having, even though it is considered Un-Thanksgiving in our house. Large roasted chicken, Lasagna,  mashed garlic potatoes, my Mom`s sausage stuffing, green bean casserole,cranberry sauce plopped out of a can,  brown and serve rolls (they are like crack to me), deviled eggs, roasted pumpkin seeds, Marie Calendar Berry pie, and a home made pumpkin pie with cool wHip. The lasagna will not be huge. But big enough to feed us for more then one day.
  Our Thanksgivings are very laid back. We do not go anywhere because some years, Hubs has to work. He has this one off but I am still healing.
So that is about it.
 I am happy and thankful for one thing today. Hubs place of work has been laying off non essential employees. Hubs works with the president of the union. He found out today that there will be more lay offs in January but their department is safe. Phew! Thank you baby Jesus!

I hope you have a great time cooking or traveling to your destination today. I am going to finish my pb toast and start on the hard boiling of some eggs.

Shower Sunday!

  I am up before anyone else this morning. I was tired of being in the damn bed. I know I will be back there later but I wanted to just be by myself. No Fred and no dogs. I have one thing that I found out yesterday that is really good. I am not going to have a bill to pay from this surgery after all, I think. I cannot get into specifics but it is in the hands of the union now. Someone fucked up and it wasn't just me. So I got rid of the donate button. Don't really need it. I guess if I get a bill, I will just suffer through like everyone else. It bothered me anyway. I hope that any bill that I get is rectified in some way. This will be our last chance on this old insurance to have it like it was back in the day, after the new year we have new insurance and it sucks major stinky ass. I havent really even talked about it and I really don't want to anyway right now.
  I get to take a shower and wash my hair today!!! YES YES YES! I cannot scrub near my incision. I really need to wash my hair and attend to a problem.

The new fashion craze of 2013

I had to wear that cup over my ear and it was strapped across my face with velcro. Strong velcro. Kind of like a cockeyed jock strap. It protected my ear and it collected the blood and fluid that was coming out that first night. When it was first put on me while I was under, they fucked up. They velcroed my hair into the strap! This poor nurse had to try to gingerly get my hair out of the strap so she could check my ear. I told her she could do what she had to do. It wasn't her fault. Well, she got it out. So I have this big piece of hair that is a sad excuse for a velcro dread lock. I will see if I can save it but i am thinking I may just have to cut it off and call it a casualty of the surgery.
 I was so miserable and in so much pain in this picture. I couldn't even smile if I tried. I am much better now.
  I do have moments of waves of nausea but they are few and far between. My ear and stitches hurt but like a 2-3 on the pain scale. I just take Motrin for it. The antibiotics and pain killers fucked up my gut so the constipation train is slow moving. That is all I have to say about that. My inner ear itches like a mother sometimes. I am a good girl and do not itch. I kind of rub the top of my ear to give it some kind of relief. That shit needs to end because it can drive me bonkers.
 There is still leakage from behind my ear which is weird to me. All of a sudden I will feel something run down my neck. It is bloody but not blood per say. My taste buds are still off but not as bad as the past two days. Every time Fred brought me a cup of coffee, I taste it and internally say YUCK! It just tasted nasty. I was told this could happen and it is a temporary thing. Usually the side of your tongue where the operation happened may become dulled to taste for a few weeks or months. It is not oh so bad. It is not like I cannot taste anything at all.  I did make a pot of coffee this morning. It tastes different but not as bad as days before, so I am guessing it is getting better. I had to make it myself and pour it. If my coffee tasted like shit to me, that it truly was my tongue. I am such a weirdo sometimes.

  I wish I could get back on the saddle of doing stuff but I know I cant right now. I thought I would be 100% by Monday but that isn't going to happen. I can tell from today that I wont be. I was thinking of making egg rolls for dinner tonight. I will roll them and Fred can cook them. I am not even going to attempt to drive until the middle of the week. I have to find out if we get paid early this week because of the holiday. I never remember that.
 So yeah...I am doing better then I even expected. I know that I will be cooking for Thanksgiving just not majorly doing it because I cannot go busting my stitches. Oh yeah, forgot to mention. Fred caught a cold from someone at the hospital! Like he is in the bed with the sore throat and everything. I am good. I am on heavy duty antibiotics. I am like covered in germ free Teflon. He has been trying to take care of me but he is sick. So I am NOT OVER DOING IT, but I am going to defrost for dinner and wash a few dishes. Make life a bit easier for him today.

I wish I had the energy to make breakfast. I could really go for some bacon right about now.

On the mend

Hey ho!
 I am doing better. I have moments like this morning where I feel really good but I know I will be back in bed soon. I just come downstairs to air myself out. I have developed a cough. I know it is from all the junk that is coming out of my ear/mastoid. I do not cough when I am up and about. Just when I sleep.

I thought it was going to be gross when Fred took the picture. That I would be all EWWW! but it looks good. My ear still feels weird like it is not part of my body but every day if feels a bit better. Just the top of my ear feels like that now.  I do not the exact specifics because I was so out of it but I have heard that I had a mastoidectomy and a tympanoplasty. I had a bad infection that settled into my right mastoid and it had made a hole in the bone. That means that infection was in there a long time. I have since found out what when you have a long term infection like that, you usually do not have any symptoms, and I didn't. I have a follow up appointment in the middle of December. I have to keep a cotton ball in my right ear and it cannot get wet in there. I get to wash my hair tomorrow. Thank goodness! I cant wait. I am doing good, just still out of it at times After I post this, I am going to go back to bed.
Hopefully I will be more alert tomorrow.