I typed in the word black and this was one of the pictures that popped up on Google. Looks like my dearly departed Baby. Little scruff of white on chest, big moon shaped green eyes.
Today is black Friday 2011. Many people are out there and shopping till they are in debt to their eyeballs. We got paid on Wednesday and I have $50 now till next Friday. I did not go shopping. That is what I normally have left after groceries and gas. I will not use credit cards to go shopping either. So as you can plainly figure out, I will NOT be shopping today or any day this whole week.
I am going to start to quickly fall into a Christmas Depression. Here is where I am whiny and you might as well turn away.
I cannot provide the kinds of Christmas like I did in the past. We have money for life but none for fun. I KNOW that I should not stress over this. I am a smart, logical person. My *children* are both adults now. They should get one present, maybe two under the tree and that is it!
I think I am having it hard this year because nobody is a child so I do not have the excuse anymore. I cannot provide the big flat screen tv to my husband that he would love. We are still using this broken Dell because we do not have any extra money for anything. I hate it. I do not like being frugal all the time. I want nice things but I cannot afford to get anything.
I am stressing over buying 6 gifts. And I PRAY that nobody brings me a present because I cannot shop for them.
So yeah, I am going to be in a sad mood until December 26 or maybe the 27th. Every Christmas commercial will be another message telling me how much of a loser I am cause I cannot provide a nice Christmas. You can say all you want about it. It isnt about the gifts! It IS about family. It is about love. Yeah, well my darling children want something under the tree. And then I will get asked..What did you get for Christmas this year?
I probably wont get anything cause I told Fred to save his money. And that is not a sad sack statement. It is the truth.
If I could have one wish..I would wish that I did not have to decorate or celebrate Christmas at all. It will not be fun for me one bit.
Is it January yet?
That could so be our Tommy! :)
ReplyDeleteHugs to you my dear friend, the season goes by quickly. I will be keeping you in my thoughts.
Thank you Dale. I just have a hard time getting into the love of the season anymore. I loved Christmas! And I am not saying the tree was stocked full all the time. I am not a selfish nitwit. I just love to give this time of year and when I cannot at all, it hurts. I want to just crawl under my blankets until New Years. And my birthday!! LOL
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