I must be broken or something

*230* <---all scales are subjective


   I suck. Shake your head at me. I cannot follow through on shit. This was supposed to be No Spend June and it turned into OMG SPEND SOME MONEY BITCH!  I had a vet bill, I had to put oil in the tank, we had to have a dying tree cut down ($600!!!), and I had to buy work clothes for the Hubs new job. Plus I just have no fucking self control when it comes to spending. It started off innocently enough. The heat wave hit and I realized after pulling out all my summer clothes that I owned 2 pairs of shorts total. And one pair was to short for my liking. So i decided that it was okay for me to go to Goodwill and buy some shorts. And I did. I spend $25 on a few pairs of shorts. That is all I bought and I felt okay with that. Then it just snowballed. Again with the take out food. Again with the multiple trips to the grocery store. What the literal fuck, Heidi?

   But if any of you have read here at all, you know that I am a fighter. I will do this again. I am not calling this month a lost cause but I am going to start again fresh for July. Hubs has a new job with different hours. I will have to do all the stuffs around here because he wont be around during the day. When he is around, I do not get much done. I dont know why. Now that he will be gone during the day....I can get the ebay started up again. I can get projects done. I will clean. I will be bored because he is not here so I will do tasks around the house. We shall see if the change in venue will give me a boost of NOT SPENDING. I really am ashamed of myself. I could not even do it for a whole month. There are people out there that have done it for a year. A freaking YEAR!

Okay..I am done flagellating myself.

   Today is the last day of Spring 2017. So far the veggie garden sucks. The only plants that are doing well are the tomatoes. They are growing really nicely. The peppers are not doing well at all. This weird weather has not given them an opportunity to grow. The ones at the community garden looks like they need to be pulled and start all over again. I have time I guess. Yes, buying plants for the garden is spending money. But I place them in the category of food so it is added to the grocery budget.  Since we had the tree cut down in the top yard, we also had some branches trimmed. I got rid of that big one in the side yard that was almost touching the house. Super happy that is gone. We were getting mossy on the roof on that side of the house. Let`s see. Oh yes. I broke the sink upstairs. Dont ask (unless I already told you but I am not searching to see if I did). That was another $200 for a new sink/cabinet/faucet plus give friend some cash for helping. The sink looks faboo though. The old one came with the house and it was supposedly built in to the wall. Like they made it. This one is smaller which is good. Gives the bathroom a little bit more leg room. See, I can be positive.

  Let me think of some positives for this post. Hubs got a new job. We have a beautiful new bathroom sink. The tree that could have fallen on our house is gone. There is more sun in the yard. I took a walk at the beach yesterday......Oh yeah.  Yesterday it was overcast and I decided to take a walk on the boardwalk at the beach in the morning. I did the full boardwalk once. I did not have my sneakers on (last minute decision to go) so I did not want to hurt my feet. I always say that I am going to walk for exercise but I do not. It is because there is this level of guilt that if I go without others, I am a shit head. I do not want to wait until other people decide they want to go. I want to just go. It is better for me to just do it in the morning before it gets hot. Take the two mile walk that I have mapped out, come home, take a shower, and start the rest of my day. I had already decided that tomorrow will be that day.

  What else? Positives! I dont know. I just know I need to get off this computer. I have to strip the bed and wash all the bed linens. I have to water the plants upstairs and vacuum. I have a mountain of my clothes to put away. That is what I will miss the most. Hubs did all the laundry. Now that his shift has flipped, he is going to be too tired to be doing that. Did I just say that? LOL I think he needs to know how much I appreciate him. Oh. I forgot. I had an MRI on my cervical spine. It shows arthritis but there is not bulges or herniations. Yay me!

That is all for now. I am sorry that I missed a week. Last week, I had a UTI from hell and I was just not in the mood for anything. If you have ever had a UTI, you will completely understand.
I will be back next week with more of my whining.

No Spend June Week 1

Hot Flashes SUCK!

*233*

  I am warning myself and anyone that is reading. I have to leave here to take Kid #1 someplace so this post can be really good and at some point it drops off a cliff. If I stay here and write, I can keep my train of thought. If I have to leave and come back hours later and I do not have any notes as to what I wanted to talk about, this post get real boring, really quick. With that being said, I will tell you how my past week has gone.

   We will start off with the spending. I did cave a little bit. Someone gave us a never used fire pit. Oh bestill my beating heart. I have always wanted one! We will use it up in the top yard. Anyway, I was at Walmart picking up cleaning stuff and a bit of groceries and Hubs NEEDED a pair of readers cause he finally decided to fess up. So everything on that day was within the bounds of need except for two tiki torches. Total for the two was a little over $8. They will keep us from being bitten when we are burning the woods. No excusing what I did but I said I would fess up. As for how I did this week, I did pretty good. I stuck to the plan. Since last week was a short one, I did not spend $150 on groceries. I spent 88.53 on groceries, that included those glasses, toiletries, dog and cat food. I paid all the allotted bills for this week. I did spend $50 for our portion for a cookout that is coming up next month. I could have said no, I cannot but that would have started a major shit so I decided to treat it like a bill just for this month.  I have been bringing water with me and I bring my coffee in metal coffee cuppy thing for the car. There will be no stops for nothing unless my blood sugar is tanking and I have stuff in my purse for that anyway.  So yes, I did not completely no spend this week. I am hoping this week will be much better.
  I am not much of a coupon person because I do not buy many processed foods. That is where most of the savings in coupons comes from. You never find a coupon for a gallon of milk. At least, I never have. I do not have the cognitive patience to hunt down, sort out, and use them. I will just try to shop less. Keep within the budget boundaries and see how I do this month.  I took out a ham for dinner. I read that you can cook it frozen. It will take 4 hours to cook but that is okay. It is only 1pm. That ham will give us a few meals this week. Pea soup included!
   Today was my last day of PT. We mutually decided that two months was good. It really isnt helping me so I have to follow up with my massage therapist. Soft tissue injuries can be a pain in the ass. I know that is true. I am tired of being in constant pain in my neck and head. If you had a daily headache, you would be in a pissy mood also. I sent message to the lawyers office and to my massage therapist. Once a week should be good to help out. I have a TENS unit here so I will use that and my traction. I will not let this get any worse if I can help it.

   I read an entire book this weekend. That hasnt happened in ages. The book is called Wheat Belly. It talks about how the wheat and grains we eat today are nothing genetically like the wheat and grains our grandparents ate. Wheat is the reason many of us are sick. I knew this already but I needed a refresher. It is basically talking about keto without actually saying keto. It is not a keto book. It is a really good book that will open your eyes. If you can get a copy, give it a gander. My next book is about sugar addiction. I cannot remember what it is called. Let me find the picture.....

The Sugar Detox one. That is what I will read next. I read all about Perimenopause in the dummy book but I have to read the rest. The houseplant book will be a fun book to get different ideas on houseplants. Speaking of, I am going to repot my tall cactus today. Wish me luck. I do know how to handle them (use a newspaper lasso to hug around the plant for lifting). She is need of a bigger pot and fresh soil. I will do that after I drop the kid off. But these are the books I bought at the library book sale. I cannot believe I have gotten back into reading. It has been so hard the past few years to have some kind of cognitive skill to pay attention or have the want to read. I was a big time reader. BIG! I know that it could disappear again just as quickly as it came so I will enjoy it while it lasts.

  Hot flashes suck. I have been suffering so badly the past 10 days or so. All I have to do is bend over to pick up a fork and I break out in a flop sweat. We have been having a very cold Spring and still cool into the 2nd week of June. Part of me hopes it stays this way but we know that will not happen. Summer has to show up eventually. And I will have to find a block of ice to sit on.

   I am really tired of younger people acting like their auto immune issues are way more important then mine. It seems that age doesn't matter to some people. I can be over 20 years older then a person but supposedly their aches and pains are more significant. Because I know how to pace myself, I should be the one taking care of them. Even though I have alot of bad days, I am expected to forgo my own health plan to make sure others get what they need. I want to say bullshit really loudly. But I have been told that wouldnt be fair. I just sit and ignore the moans and groans. Most of the time, those noises are a signal for ME to do something. Nah! I had to say it! It has been bugging me lately and especially today.

 Oh...I got my mouth guard this week. Happy Day! It is used for people that grind their teeth at night. The grinding is really not good for the periodontal. I did have a guard that I bought at the pharmacy. It worked really well but they are only good for a few months. I hope to see some really good results with my teeth numbers when I go to get counted in July.  When you have periodontal disease, they count the spaces between your gums and your upper inside teeth. It is not a pleasant experience. It is looking for bone loss. Each tooth is given a number. The lower the number (0,1,2,3) the better. Upper numbers are bad. My back lower right molar aka problem child is a lost cause. It is at an 8 at this point. We keep it because it is still rooted in my mouth. You want to keep the teeth in your head as long as possible.

  That is about it for now. Send out positive thoughts to me this week. NO SPENDING! NO SPENDING! NO SPENDING! You can do it Heidi! We have faith in you!

Have a good week, all.

June 1st Equals New Beginnings

*233* <---I checked at PT yesterday. This is good! I lost 6lbs!


  I have a headache. So I do not know how long this post will be. I am going to consume some Tylenol and hope that it goes away. I am toasting some low carb bread and I will spread some plant based cheeze on it. I didn't eat much last night cause I just wasn't feeling it.

  Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit! Happy June 1st to you all. Summer is basically here in my mind. It is still too cool here in my neck of the woods but the sun is out today. Just today though. More rain to come this week. Yuck. I really need to go to the community garden today on my travels and pick some radishes. I have to remember to grab my tomato cages for there also. We have radishes, lettuce, four types of tomatoes, basil, cayenne peppers, and strawberries. When the lettuce and radish is over, we will plant some bell peppers in their place.

Okay, I also made a bowl of salad greens with a cut up hard boiled egg, a slice of cheddar cheese, red wine vinegar with salt and pepper. Well rounded with the cheese toast. My headache is subsiding a little bit. *eating*
Ahhh. Feel much better. Okay..

   Today starts the first official day of No Spend June. I have a notebook set up where I will calculate how much I spend on groceries and any bills that come up that are not in the normal realm of the budget. I had to pay a small hospital bill and Hubs had to pay his $50 portion to go to a family cookout. The girls and I are not going because we cannot afford to pay for everyone. Plus we have other stuffs going on. I did go out and buy a case of water. That is going to stop me from going out and buying drinks. Baby steps with some things just yet. I did buy a insulated coffee cup for me and the hubs so we can bring coffee with us when we go out.  I am really going to stick with this. If I cannot do this for an entire month, there is something wrong with me. Even if a deal is so outrageously good, I am not doing it. I had a lottery scratch off ticket that was a $3 winner. I cashed it in and took the money. I would have easily just bought another ticket. Nope. That is an extra $3 in the budget. I will do some sort of tally at the end of each week so like on Sundays. I have five weeks this month so this is going to be interesting.

  Today also starts getting back into keto full time. I am going to really fight the carby cravings and the keto flu for the next week. I will not cave! I fit into 80% of my summer shorts from last year. There are a couple that need me to lose about 5 more lbs or so. I have a couple shirts that I wore that I will not wear yet because I really need to lose the spare tire again. She is more like a bike tire now but it is still there and no no no.  The saving money and the keto eating work two fold also. I need to spend a day going through the pantry, fridge, and both freezers. Throw anything away that needs to go cause it is old, make a list of what I have, and then we can go from there when we go shopping. I am not going to do a whole month shopping at once because our house isnt that big. I plan on doing a every two week big shopping and once a week perishable shopping. Dairy, eggs, veggies. And I will always stick to my list because I have to.

Okay. I can do this! I have to decide what is for dinner. I do have some tilapia that I could bake. I have some asparagus too. That would be a nice dinner. Lemon fish with greens and asparagus. Add some fat in there like butter galore. Mmmm

I gotta go now. The kid needs a ride to work. Have a good week and I wish me luck!